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  • © 2014 Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.

  • ZachFrustrated

    William Mulcahyillustrated by

    Darren McKee

    Gets

    © 2014 Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.

  • Text copyright © 2012 by William MulcahyIllustrations copyright © 2012 by Free Spirit Publishing Inc.

    All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Unless otherwise noted, no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotations or critical reviews. For more information, go to www.freespirit.com/company/permissions.cfm.

    Free Spirit, Free Spirit Publishing, and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Free Spirit Publishing Inc. A complete listing of our logos and trademarks is available at www.freespirit.com.

    Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataMulcahy, William. Zach gets frustrated / William Mulcahy ; illustrated by Darren McKee. p. cm. — (Zach rules series) ISBN 978-1-57542-390-6 — ISBN 978-1-57542-669-3 (ebook) 1. Frustration—Juvenile literature. I. McKee, Darren II. Title. BF723.F7M85 2012 152.4'7—dc23

    2011039185

    eBook ISBN: 978-1-57542-669-3

    Free Spirit Publishing does not have control over or assume responsibility for author or third-party websites and their content.

    Reading Level Grade 2; Interest Level Ages 5–8;Fountas & Pinnell Guided Reading Level M

    Edited by Eric BraunCover and interior design by Tasha Kenyon

    10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3Printed in the United States of AmericaB10950114

    Free Spirit Publishing Inc.Minneapolis, MN(612) [email protected]

    Free Spirit offers competitive pricing.Contact [email protected] for pricing information on multiple quantity purchases.

    DedicationTo Liam, Luke, and Jack:

    Enjoy the moment

    AcknowledgmentsDeep gratitude to all of those who have entrusted me with their care and well-being; I am deeply honored to be your therapist. A special thanks to my colleagues at Family Service of Waukesha and Carrie and Melissa at Stillwaters. Lastly, to the wow-moment in Aunt Kelly’s kitchen with Kristen, Ryan, and Meghan: Thanks for helping out. You rock.

    © 2014 Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.

  • Zach lifted his kite and ran across the beach. He hoped this time the breeze would catch it. But like the other times he’d tried, the kite just fluttered and dived into the sand.

    © 2014 Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved. 1

  • “Stupid kite,” Zach said. Since the day began, it seemed like nothing was going his way. And now his kite wouldn’t fly.

    Zach tried to relax. But it’s hard to calm down when your breath is heavy and you feel like screaming.

    “When are we going home?” he asked his dad.

    © 2014 Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.2 3

  • Helping Children Handle FrustrationAs young children grow up, they continually encounter new tasks to accomplish and grow from—and also to become frustrated by. In many instances, children’s success depends on their ability to endure or overcome frustration—the feeling we get when we can’t do what we are trying to do or we can’t solve a problem facing us. Showing children how to cope with frustration in a way that puts them in charge of their thoughts and feelings not only helps them accomplish particular tasks, it helps prepare them for a lifetime of success.

    The frustration triangle is a three-step process that helps kids develop the inner awareness and control they need to endure and manage frustration. While each of the three steps is important on its own, together they create a gentle but powerful tool to manage emotions.

    The frustration triangle is most successful when adults and children are partners in learning about and practicing the three steps. Unfortunately, adults often misunderstand frustration; or worse, they take it personally as an affront to their parenting skills. Keep in mind that frustration is a naturally occurring emotion that all people experience. Approach frustrated children with understanding and compassion. Modeling understanding and compassion will also help children treat themselves that way while frustrated.

    The frustration triangle has the power to

    • build confidence

    • increase a sense of peace and calmness

    • decrease the likelihood of the fight-or-flight response in the brain

    • increase the likelihood of successfully dealing with frustration and other difficult emotions in the future

    • lift feelings of sadness and anxiety

    • enhance relationships

    Here is more information about the three parts of the frustration triangle. With practice, most children will be able to move fluidly from step 1 (name it) to step 2 (tame it) to step 3 (reframe it).

    1. Name it. In this step, children make themselves aware of what is causing their frustration. This may sound overly simple or obvious, but naming the source of frustration increases people’s awareness of their emotional state. This increased awareness puts them in a stronger position to cope with their emotion. With coaching and practice, most children are able to identify their emotions very accurately, including frustration.

    2. Tame it. Help children move out of their automatic thoughts and into the present moment by using relaxation skills (what are referred to in this story as “chill skills”). Using these skills helps the mind let go of the frustration. These skills may include slow deep breathing, counting to ten, progressive relaxation, spending time in nature, prayer, meditation, listening to music, playing, and mindfulness practices (focusing on the senses).

    3. Reframe it. At first, teach children to be specific in reframing frustrating situations. For instance, “This kite won’t fly, but the beach is awesome. I love jumping in the waves.” As children become more efficient, they often learn to reframe frustration with a simple “Everything’s okay” or “This too will pass.”

    A few other tips:

    • Teach children the frustration triangle before it is needed, when frustration isn’t high, so they know what to expect. Let them know that you believe they can handle their frustration.

    • Encourage children to develop their own ways to name it, tame it, and reframe it. As long as they are following the basic structure, let them be playful and use their imagination.

    • Use the frustration triangle yourself. You might be surprised at how helpful it can be!

    • Encourage kids not to be too hard on themselves. Everyone gets frustrated.

    Important: The frustration triangle is not about stuffing emotions. Help children understand that frustration is a natural emotion and that emotions are not bad or good. It’s what they do with their emotions that matters. Ideally, children can feel, identify, and deal with their emotions in a healthy way.

    If children are constantly frus-trated or often intensely frustrated, seek professional help.

    © 2014 Free Spirit Publishing. All rights reserved.24 25


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