College Admissions Essays 101

In this workshop, you will:• Organize your essay plans & prompts• Learn about the Common App (& other frequently used prompt types)• Write polished pieces of your essay(s) using the skills you’ve learned

DISCLAIMERS: This lessons focus on American universities of varying

characteristics, and does not address international schools.

I am not responsible for your admission into college or the scholarships you receive there (or your lack thereof).

This advice may not apply to all colleges and prompts; it is just the personal experience of the author and what has worked in the past.

Other factors than the essay weigh equally or more heavily in your admission.

If you have questions or concerns, defer to the information given by university professionals, guidance counselors, etc.

The following lessons are just a set of guidelines, not universal truths or guaranteed facts.

I have no formal affiliations with any universities and cannot guarantee the success of this advice.

ConferencingHand-out A: During the our time together, you and I will

conference. You’ll have opportunities to ask questions. I’ll respond while providing my best insight, which

I hope will provide you with opportunities to learn and grow.

I suggest you take my feedback to improve your essay

Day 1So what exactly am I doing here?

Understandingand setting goals

Setting the groundwork

Let’s talk about this essay you must write…

Most essays at school… Exact genre varies (literary

analysis, report, etc.) Have a clear rubric (or at

least general, common guidelines to follow)

Have an audience you know (your teacher) who also knows you.

The teacher reads and agonizes over your grade for varying lengths of time

Are not competitive (there aren’t a set # of A grades…)

College admissions essays… Personal essay (mix of

informative, persuasive, narrative)

Don’t have rubrics, and only some vague directions/ guidelines.

Have an unfamiliar audience (either one person or several) who doesn’t know you. They have no context other than what’s on the paper.

Are read in seconds or minutes, and the reader makes a snap decision.

Is competitive.

…which means that…

College admissions essays… Don’t have rubrics, and only

some vague directions/ guidelines.

Have an unfamiliar audience (either one person or several) who doesn’t know you. They have no context other than what’s on the paper.

Are read in seconds or minutes, and the reader makes a snap decision.

Is competitive.

… require you to… You have to follow the rules

you do have, and make educated guesses.

You can’t assume anything or leave anything important unsaid. It’s the academic equivalent of “leaving it all on the field”.

You have to make a great first impression, AND maintain it, AND have a great ending.

You have to write better* than some percentage of other people, *including content and/or style.

So, let’s set some ground rules.

These essays ASSUME that you will:o Follow the prompto Fully edit/proofread your work – NO grammar or spelling mistakes!o Stay within the word count that is giveno Write in somewhat-traditional paragraph and essay structureo Follow appropriate formatting when necessary

However, you must also remember that:o This is basically a competition. There are “winners” and “losers”.

(Sorry.)o Your goal at all times should be to BOTH “get in” and “get money”

– be ambitious and do not settle for mediocre writing!o There are a LOT of other students responding to the SAME

prompts, and so part of your job is to be ABOVE AVERAGE and MEMORABLE. You must stand out from your peers to succeed!

Let’s focus on that last part.

“…part of your job is to be ABOVE AVERAGE and MEMORABLE.”

This means, in addition to successfully writing a “basic” or “standard” essay, you should also strive to…o Be unique. o Be memorable. o Be a strong writer.

Don’t believe me? Think about it.

In the perfect world, what do colleges WANT?Academically proficient students who…

o Want to over-achieveo Will join clubs or organizationso Might do academic research o Is ready for the academic demandso Is goal-oriented, has a plan, and is ready to take actiono Will “hit the ground running” from the moment they enter campus o Is “worth” the investment of an admission slot and/or scholarship $o Has evidence to prove that they are, or will be, awesome.

…In other words, they want someone who will make THEM look good, either in the short-term or long-term.

While you should NEVER, EVER lie or exaggerate, you DO need to make yourself look like what I will call a “worthwhile investment”.

Evaluation Exercise Scenario: You are in on the Board of Admissions

at Iwishiknew University. There is only one more opening in next year’s freshman class. You have narrowed down your choices for this last spot to four students. Their records are almost identical. Their college board scores are very similar. Their recommendations are excellent. Yet, there is only one more opening. Which student will you accept?

Your Task: Read and evaluate each student’s essay in order to make your final decisions. Use the check-list and be prepared to share your comments with the rest of the admissions board.

Prompt AnalysisLet’s look at the

Common App first. We will examine each of the five prompts.

Common App Directions

Do NOT make your Common App essays too specific to any one college, since all of the ones you apply to will see the same one. (Source)

The word limit is 650 words (Source)

Pay attention to formatting when you copy/paste it into the App (Source)

You can change your essay up to three times when you submit it, BUT you should really turn in the best possible essay on the first try! (Source)

Here are the five prompts!(italics are as they appear on the website and are new to 2015-

16)

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

2. The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

3. Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea.  What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

4. Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

5. Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Source: https://appsupport.commonapp.org/link/portal/33011/33013/Article/1694/2015-16-Common-Application-Essay-Prompts

Whoa… don’t just dive in too fast.

These prompts have ADVANTAGES and TRAPS that you need to know!

Corresponds with HAND-OUT F

Prompt Analysis: #1

“Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

o Good for you if: you have a major accomplishment, a unique cultural background, or an interesting personal situation that:• Hasn’t been addressed anywhere else in the application, and/or• Would help EXPLAIN something about your app.

o The TRAP is: • that you’ll spend too long writing about that situation, instead of circling

back to how great you are, OR• that your chosen story won’t show personal growth or positive attributes.

o Here’s the Deal: This is (arguably) the most open-ended prompt of

all five. Sometimes this prompt is used to make excuses, and sometimes it is used to tell awesome stories of overcoming adversity or a unique point of view/experience! Use this to highlight why you’re unique, talented, or another positive characteristic!

Common App

Prompt Analysis: #2

The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

o Good for you if: you have overcome adversity and triumphed, whether it was small and personal or large and public. • This is sometimes used to explain academic struggles.

o The TRAP is: Focusing disproportionately on the failure, instead of sufficiently talking about:

• How you grew as a result of the failure• The process you used to overcome it• How you are better/stronger now (and thus a better future college

student)o Here’s the Deal: This is a problem/solution essay in disguise.

• Keep the balance appropriate (see above)• Have a POINT (thesis or theme)• Be careful of clichés and exaggerations. You want to elicit real, honest emotion,

and not over-dramatize a failure that wasn’t actually significant.

Common App

Prompt Analysis #3

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea.  What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

o Good for you if: you’ve wrestled with ethics, been a whistleblower, had a shift in beliefs, actively questioned tradition, etc.

o The TRAP is: • Talking too much about just the situation (and not making a

point about who you are, what you believe in, what you’re like, etc.)

o Here’s the Deal: If you pick this one, make sure it’s a meaningful story in which you learned something!

Common App

Prompt Analysis: #4

Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

o *Note: This prompt is brand new this year! o Good for you if: You’ve had an opportunity to be innovative, do

research, pursued a goal, or have a passion for a specific issue.

o The TRAP is: Talking about the problem and solution exclusively (and not letting it reflect you, your passions, your talents, your goals, or your actions).

o Here’s the Deal: • Like prompt #2, this is a problem/solution essay in disguise.• This prompt has all kinds of potential! They want to see critical

thinking, your values, and your problem-solving skills ALL wrapped into one.

Common App

Prompt Analysis: #5

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.o Good for you if: you have a unique story to tell

about a specific turning point in time, including how it changed you.

o The TRAP is: To talk exclusively about that event, in the past tense, instead of using it to reflect who you are now.

o Here’s the Deal: Not everyone will have a story that fits this prompt. If you don’t, it’s okay! Pick one of the other ones.

Common App

Talk out loud for 1 minute.

What observations do you have about those five prompts?

Let’s be real. A few more tips…

Between you and me, prompts #3 and #5 (and to a lesser extent, #2) are not for everyone. If those prompts don’t match your life experiences, don’t make up or exaggerate something to “make” it fit.

Beware of cliché essay topics. Remember – your goal is to stand out, either in content/topic or at least the way you handle it. o For Example: Think carefully about writing an essay about

“how volleyball changed your life.” There will be a LOT of sports essays, and you’ll need to make sure you can put an interesting twist on it (or risk sounding the same as everyone else!)

You might change your mind about which prompt(s) to complete, and you might have to redo a draft from scratch. Both of those are okay!

Let’s Review

All of these prompts have advantages AND traps. Tell a story that reflects who you are in a positive

light. You do not have an advantage from picking one

over another, BUT you could put yourself at a DISadvantage if you don’t pick a prompt/story that really works well for you.

Never write anything you can’t prove. (Don’t lie or exaggerate.)

Present the best (but still honest) version of yourself.

Turn the prompt’s focus back on yourself, or use it to highlight something great about you.

Strive to be unique/memorable, seemingly worthy of investment, and the best, most honest version of yourself!

Quiz!

1. How are college admissions essays different from the other ones you have written before?

2. What are admissions officers/readers looking for?

3. What characteristics should your essay have, regardless of the prompt?

4. What advice and/or traps should you consider while drafting (or revising) a college admissions essay?

5. What do you think is the most important advice that you’re taking away from this lesson?

HOMEWORK LET’S GET REAL: This homework is worth your

time, and it is possibly one of the most important writing pieces you will do at this point in your life.

Select a Common App topic

Bring in, at least, the introductory paragraph to the essay for tomorrowo Remember: you should write the essay only you can

write!

Day 2Beginning the essay

Revisiting Model Essays

Daniel Rose & “Male Nipples”

AgendaHave you focused on a prompt and started your introductory paragraph?

Hand-out F – review do’s and don’ts of essay beginning Show/Don’t Tell – Melanie Scott essay Write a paragraph in which the action defines the

emotion without ever using the emotion word. Schools that DON’T or Partially use the Common App Draft writing Hand-out G – Clichés: “Search and Destroy” Homework – bring a completed typed draft to class

tomorrow

Let’s look at some specific colleges.

Even if you don’t apply to this COLLEGE, pay attention to these PROMPTS, because they are used by other places, too!

Example #1: Georgetown University “In the space available discuss the

significance to you of the school or summer activity in which you have been most involved.”o Since this is required, you still have to answer

the question, be memorable, and show who you are!

o Be as specific as you can, especially since it’s short answer. Don’t give vague generalities like “I became stronger.”

o CHOOSE CAREFULLY. Not only do you want to set yourself apart from others, but your activity will reflect different things about you.

2014 short answer question

Example #2: Notre Dame

Required: 150-200 words: “Why Notre Dame?”• Advice: don’t JUST talk about things like football, good academics, and traditions!

Stand out from what others will say!

Pick two of the following:o A good story starts with a good beginning. Get us hooked in the first

150 words.• Creative writing, yay! Note that it doesn’t specify fiction or non-fiction. This one is all

about writing skill.

o Blessed Basil Moreau, the founder of the Congregation of Holy Cross, described education as “the art of helping young people to completeness.” How are you incomplete?• This prompt seems to be all about humility, doesn’t it? ;-)

o Notre Dame students are encouraged to learn through discovery by interacting with the world around them. Describe your ideal intellectual field trip.• No wrong answer here, but this should reveal a lot about who you are AND your goals!

o Initiate an in-person conversation with someone whom you've never met but who you think might be interesting. What did you learn about that person or yourself?• Don’t fall for the trap of talking too much about the person and the conversation; let

your choices reveal something about you!

2014-15 Prompts

Example #3: Villanova University

Required: 250-650 words in addition to the Common App

Pick one of the following:

Option One:o Saint Augustine said, “Lord, let me know myself, let me

know you." Describe a relationship that has helped you to know yourself better.• This prompt seems to be all about humility and reflection,

doesn’t it? ;-) Also, this should reveal a lot about who you are AND your goals!

Option Two:o If you attended Villanova, how would you make the

noun “community” become a verb?• Grammar girl happy, yay! Note, think about evolution when

it comes to language: the word Google, Google it, Googling

Supplemental Essay in addition to Common App

Example #4: OSU Honors Program

Based on upon your academic, career, or personal interests, describe how you believe you will become involved in one or more of the G.O.A.L.S.* of the Honors & Scholars Center.o Note*: Global Awareness, Original Inquiry, Academic

Enrichment, Leadership Development, Service Engagement o Well, this one has a lot to tackle, doesn’t it? Don’t get

overwhelmed. o Though there’s truly no wrong answer here… Ohio State

takes pride in being a research school. Guess which of the GOALS they would probably enjoy hearing about? …• NOTE: Do research on YOUR schools too! It doesn’t hurt to know what

they value and what they’re hoping to hear!

o This prompt seems to want its students to be driven and goal-oriented. Express your passions, ideas, and dreams!

Supplemental Essay in addition to Common App

Day 3You’ll need to do some polishing…

Agenda Model Essays – Hand-out H and internet examples Editing Exercises – Hand-out H1 Editing for Sensory Details – Hand-out H2 A 2nd way to SDT – through dialogue Drafting and Revising Conferencing HOMEWORK – revise paper. Have all drafts

tomorrow.

Want to see example essays?

Just remember that no one has the PERFECT essay or formula, so don’t imitate these TOO closely.o https://

bigfuture.collegeboard.org/get-in/essays/sample-college-application-essay-1

o https://www.apstudynotes.org/common-app/

o http://www.sparknotes.com/college/admissions/page21.html

o http://www.shmoop.com/college/personal-statement-examples.html

Get Ready to Write Your

Polished Copy!

Here’s the plan

oContinue working towards polishing your essay

oConference with me before the end of the morning.

oOnce I give you feedback, consider revising

How you will be evaluated

Organization/Structure Beginning Answering the

Prompt; Clear ideas/theme(s)/ thesis

Ending Grammar Subjective Overall

Impression* o (*see next slide)

“Subjective Impression” I will pretend, as much as I can, to be a biased college

admissions person who DOES NOT KNOW YOU, and ONLY has the essay to work with.

I will evaluate you based on the somewhat subjective criteria we discussed earlier, such as:o Memorable/unique, did you present yourself well, do you

seem worthy of “investment”, etc.

*This is JUST for your own information, and is JUST something for you to think about before revising/submitting your FINAL essay. o It is just my biased opinion on whether or not your essay

has sufficiently represented you well!

Day 4Organize, organize, organize…

Agenda Hand-out L: Peer evaluation Finish essay Print 2 copies: 1 for YOU & 1 for ME Share/read Steps going forward Celebrate! Course Evaluation

Step 1: Organize your writing schedule

Though not required, I highly recommend that you start by organizing ALL of the following information into a table for ANY colleges to which you plan to apply:o Name of institutiono Common App (yes/no)

• Check the list here!o Additional essay prompt? (If so, include it)o Word countso Due date for applicationo Additional information for scholarships (if they have additional essays, especially THOSE prompts and deadlines)

One sample schedule (for 2015-2016)

NameComm

on App?

Other Essay prompt(s)?

Word count

Due Date*

Georgetown U. No Yes (*requires login to see) TBD 1/10/16

Harvard College Yes 650 1/1/16

MIT No Short answer questions TBD 1/1/16

The Ohio State University Yes *If trying for Honors

program 650 2/1/16

Stanford U. Yes 650 1/3/16

*Dates listed are for REGULAR admission; source is the College Board.

Step 2: DO Your Homework

This FALL, you should…o If you haven’t already, make that chart of prompts & due dates. o Write rough drafts. o Get at LEAST two adults (in addition to any friends) to read your

work, critiquing both content and style. o Complete all the OTHER pieces of the application; add the

essay when ready.o Consider getting all this done WAY BEFORE the actual deadline.

Don’t procrastinate and get stressed!

o Form a checklist with the following tasks:• Complete Common App• Finalize Essay• Ask for letters of Recommendations• Write thank you notes: one (email) after getting an agreement from

an adult to write a recommendation and again (handwritten) after you have received confirmation of acceptance.

Any Questions?If not, then stay calm and carry on…