Jhaghra-(Quarrel)

Quarrel/ConflictLinguistic DefinitionIn the Light of Quran and HadithInherent nature of Human Being

Does man not consider that We created him from a [mere] sperm-drop - then at once he is a clear adversary?36:77Characteristic of Human beings

And of the people is he whose speech pleases you in worldly life, and he calls Allah to witness as to what is in his heart, yet he is the fiercest of opponents.2:204Causes of Quarrel

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Why does it happen?Disavantages of Conflict

The one Allah Hates the most

Sources of ConflictMishandling conflict in the past Hidden agendaRevengeFighting the last warFearDishonesty BoundariesNegligenceNeed to be rightMiscommunication what is

Conflict stylesConflict StylesHighConcern for SelfHighLowConcern for OthersConflict StylesAvoiding (Lose Lose)When people nonassertively ignore or stay away from conflictAvoidance reflects a pessimistic attitude about conflict under the belief that there is no good way to solve the problem at handAvoiding often results in lose lose outcomes in which none of the parties get what they want

Conflict StylesAccommodating (Lose Win)Occurs when you allow others to have their way rather than asserting your point of viewIf accommodation is a genuine act of kindness, generosity, or love, then chances are good that it will enhance the relationshipPeople from high-context, collectivist backgrounds are likely to regard avoidance and accommodating as face-saving

Conflict StylesCompeting (Win-Lose)Occurs when there is a high level of self concern and a low level of concern for othersDirect AggressionWhen a communicator expresses a criticism or demand that threatens the face of anotherPassive AggressionOccurs when a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure or manipulative way

Conflict StylesCompromising (Partial Lose Lose)Gives both parties some of what they want although both sacrifice part of their goalsCompromising actually negotiates a solution where both lose somethingSome compromises do leave both parties satisfiedWhen compromises are satisfying and successful, theyre probably collaborations

Conflict StylesCollaborating (Win Win)Shows a high degree of concern for themselves as well as othersThe goal of collaboration is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involvedCollaboration gives you a way of creatively finding just the right answer for your unique problem

Conflict StylesWhich Style to UseSome issues to consider when deciding which style to use:The relationshipThe situationThe other personYour goals

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Great Examples in Islamic HistorySeverity of Abusing a Muslim

Get Closer to Allah

Worst Amongst People

Worst amongst people

Another exampleOne man was abusing Hazrat Abu Bakar RA. He was quite but Prophet was smiling. When he abused alot Hazrat Abu Bakar RA started giving him answer on Hazrat Abu Bakars this action prophet got angry and went from there. Hazrat Abu Bakar RA got confused and went to the Prophet PBUH and asked reason of this anger. He PBUH said that when Hazrat Abu Bakar RA was quite angel was answering on his behalf but when he RA replied angel went and shaitan came. And where there is shatan who can Prophet PBUH stay there.

27Avoid QuarrelIn the light Quran and Hadith

STOP assuming that your truth is THE truth. What is true for you is not necessarily true for another.STOP insisting that other people must agree with you. Disagreement is okay. Dont cross-examine people.

STOP unconsciously assuming that anyone else will see it the way you see it. Always check it out.STOP invalidating other peoples experience just because it doesnt agree with your experience.

STOP blaming anyone else for how you feel or what happens to you. Take full responsibility for yourself.Highest levels of Jannah!

Leading to Jannah vs. Hell Fire

How to Avoid Conflict?Jannah Guaranteed?

Few TipsThings to do

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Self AnalysisCircular Energy FlowA communication technique to maintain safe space in conflict resolution is the circular energy flow.