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even ways High SchoolPrepares You for FailureKEL.SEY DIAZ

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Kelsey DiazProfessor UttichEnglish Comp 1101November 11, 2009

Seven Ways High School Prepares You for Failure

"'h."'",,,Dlaz Welcome to the new mythical world of higher educatiou: Lecture upon

~:e~~,;:lecture, crazy parties, intense study sessions, and social dramas that put~==:your virtual Facebook arguments to shame. I know you're excited; I was

"""ad;"'':: too, but before you start planning your Greek life, remember you're here to

........ ,...,.;;_,.;;.,J learn. And not only are you here to learn, but you are blissfully unaware of

a major disadvantage that affects all incoming freshrn . M fan. ost 0 what they

taught you in high school English was a lie!

Shocking. yes. Now, before you begin to doubt me, know this: I've

been there, and I've done that I went to high school Everv dav i .. ~ J ay ill seruor

Engllsh was blissfully easy: reviewing the 5 paragraph essay. learning about

KELSEY DIAZ 1 Seven Ways High School Prepares You for Failure 7071

Diaz 2

literaturein the Victorian age, doing a "picture essay." Senior English was

fun. I was an eager freshman in English composition, waiting for the next

challenge.Boy,did I get one! I had to learn a new way of writing.

Askind and caring or harsh and cruel as your high school teacher may

havebeen, there's no way that they could have prepared you for college,

especiallywith all of the "standardized test' bulkrap. Now, I'm not saying

that youdidn't learn anything in your English class; you probably learned a

lot!AllI'm saying is that the writing you did in high school and the writing

youwill do in college are two totally different things.

The5-Paragraph EssayEversince the No Child Left Behind act it seems that teachers aren't, .teachingthe same material. I can't remember a time when the teacher

didn'tstart a lesson with "Now. you'll need this for the FCAT.... " The

problemis that apart from standardized tests, you will never write another

I·paragraphessay again.

Howoften do you read any serious writing that has an introduction

with a th ..eS1S,3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion that restates the thesis?

Ifyouwere writing a letter to your granilmother asking for her famous

homemadecookies, you wouldn't use a S-paragraph essay. Don't do it in

college "'<0 c: ill .. ur proressor WI most likely laugh at you .

Write ObjectivelyRemember all of those assignments when you weren't allowed to use "I;

"we" ...., or us? It turns out that not only can you break this rule, but you

maynever write "objectively" again! (Once you learn the technique.) Think

of'It this way:No two writers write alike. After all. we are all just individual.

F1orid3 high~hool students/fIu5t pass t:h6rcA:r. flqrida':>Ccmpn=hSn:!HV8As~entTest-.in ordu tograduate. FCATf:5a re!>potr~ to thekderiJJ No Childl8ft ""''''' (NCLB)aet,1.r-JeJto improw pre-collage eduaJtionale;tand~.Acommon critici5lffqfNC/.fHs'thatteachsr'8 areforced 'W 'l;each tothe test: fnIt. thet,e5tsdon'treal'Y !

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unique people. Everyone has their own way of saying what they need to say,

and it's okay to just say it how you need to say it.

You Have to Cite a Resource for Every Single Part

of Your PaperIn high school. the teachers wanted to know ifyou can think hard enough

to gather sources with similarities and use them to back up a statement,

usually not chosen by you. The standard procedure for papers was to make

up a (usually obvious) point, tum it into a thesis. google your topic for

"resources," copy and paste quotes, and finish with your own "original"

sentences, tying everything together so it wasn't just one big block of

quotation marks.

In college, you're the one trying to prove something, not your sources.

Not nearly as many are used, and they are used for actual research and

learning, not restatement. Of course, different papers will use different

numbers of sources, but you're analyzing the meaning of the source, not

regurgitating quotes.

Turn in a Rough Draft and Your Final Draft

Honestly, how many of you in high school actually revise your papers?

Typing up a version of scribbled notes and putting it through a spell check

doesn't count. Youwill need '0 learn '0 write lots of drafts. Youwill haveto completely restart a paper even though you think you're almost done.

Chances are, after all editing and revising is finished, you'll likely have less

than a quarter of content from your first draft. if any at all.

Editing is a whole new beast in college; you're not just looking for typos.

You're looking for audience, style, restated information, off-topic content,

and most importantly, ideas. If you ever get stuck, just start writing;

.II 7091KELSEY DIAZ I Seven Ways High School Prepares You for Fal ure

Diaz4

chancesare you'll be throwing most of it out in a revision anyway. As a

rule:the more drafts, the better the paper.I

III

Your Resources Are Right and TrueInhigh school, you've probably learned how to determine a "good"

resourcefrom a "bad" one. They taught you at least one thing right; at

th all 'tID' even if it's from aleastfor the most part. Remember at WIt g,. . . ch h h been studying a subjectprofessional, even if It'S by a res ear er w 0 as

till . t pie They all have theirforyearson end, is by writers who are s IUS peo .. tI th all have their own reasonownwayof writing, and more unportan y, ey

forwriting.

fee not just read it.Youmust learn to analyze the content 0 your sour .

Whowrote it? Why? What are they trying to accomplish? What are their

intentions for the reader? Is the writer biased? Do two different sources

disagree?Why? Remember that you are the one writing the paper, so

youare the one in control; you are the one that has to prove what you've

learned.

\

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IUseOne Book Source and Three Internet Articles

Iiere's a fun one. You might actually get the chance to interview a

profesSional.More than likely, you'll be required to interview one. . , fifth ugh it can be very easysometime in your college career. Don t goo 0, 0

todn so.

R ch . .' rything you possibly can.esear your topic. your interviewee, eve

Theremay be special words or "lingo" that you just don', understand.

Learnabout the profession's, organization's, or group's goals andbar"~ d ' .. . 'd r . troduetory questions.""""'5loun information: It can give you 1 eas lor ill

Andfor the sake of all that is good. don't try to write everything down!

WhatdD.}Wthinf:of Di.3z's csrtaintyhere?/-faveyou5eetl evidence 8D

far wrwMtshsssaying?

How would youchamctsrizeDiaz'sattitudetowanl bigh schoolteaching aboutwrltingf'Does shegive su/&iSfJtreasons for he"attitude?

_-""""""""lCan you tell whyIt's so fmportarrtto Diaz thatscaJemic~are a5ti11 ju5tpeop/87

O.ia%here explicitlyaddresses aconcept tbat muchoFherc::ritUfuehascfrdsa <lrt:lund:contn'LCanJ'O'J read eachoFthe~myths~Oiaz expIC1"S5 inthis /el:t8,. as ad/ffererrt dementof ~ntrol by orover a writer?

[710 Chapter 5

Diaz 5

You're going to want to ask open-ended questions, with lots of follow-

ups in order to get the maximum amount of useful information in your

interview.

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You're on Your Own in College

Simply lies. Most likely, you'll be in a class with plenty of students who

are just as confused as you are. It takes a while to learn a whole new

writing style, and your professor is there to teach you; not to be an evil

This 15 the5eliOfIdr.hrlltDilrzh.1~sadistic torturer who gives nothing but F's. Your professor knows you are

used tM tBrm fr"1ie!I.~OoytlUthrnka eshman, and that you are treading new waters. If you ever need help,

OI.szi5JlJ8~in just ask!~1!9 tIM r.erml161rer 1I~ of itappropriate'" If you're like me-a-lazy, tired, and not willing to read bulleted points with

hIn- Jilud/enU and 1i_-,..-:..""""';:';';;;;..,Jl ong paragraphs-just remember one thing: You are not alone. Learning

1••-'---- a whole new way of writing may seem a daunting task, but you're not theWhat.doI!!!sthe............. of first freshman ever, you're not the only one to do it, and there will always be

hulast fJi1nNjrapirdo .. Oisx" someone to help you when you need it And J.ustto mak th~, . e~~~e

.~_,..."';;;';;;;;;Jpoint, I'll "restate the thesis" like you're used to: Write in your own words.

You're the writer writing, not your sources, so just grab a pencil and have at it!

KELSEY OIAZ I Seven Ways High School Prepares You for failure 7111

Some Other Questions to Consider• Sometimes writers use an uncompromising, "no-holds-barred" tone. Othertimes they find it better to write in a more measured tone that may not sayexactly what they think but may sound more reasonable or acceptable to anaudience. In your opinion, does the tone Dial adopts help her accomplIshher purpose? Would it have helped her to use a gentler tone, or does herpurpose demand the bluntness she uses here?How does Dial's title connect to the material in her ietter? She never dis-cusses "failure" at all-to what, then, does her title refer?• What do you suppose high school teachers would say in response to Dial'sletter? (Note that Dial doesn't seem to address it to teachers; they wouldbe reading it as a third-party audience.) Has Dial been fair to high schoolteachers? What could they say back to her? And what, then, might she say

back to them?