Coping With Loss

Kubler-Ross’s 5 Stages of Loss Stage 1: Denial

Initial reaction to loss Person cannot believe that the loss has happened

  Stage 2: Anger

“Why me?” stage Person can be critical, demanding, or

uncooperative  Stage 3: Bargaining

Anger subsides as the reality of the loss sets in Person may pray or promise to change if the

person or object is brought back

Kubler – Ross continued… Stage 4: Depression

Silence and withdrawal Person is no longer in disbelief and is no longer

angry, but now is feeling extreme sadness Quiet sadness sets in Person feels helpless

  Stage 5: Acceptance

Person now feels a sense of power Person finds a way to deal with the loss in a

constructive way Person may make meaningful gestures surrounding

the idea of the loss

Kubler -

Ross

Hope – runs through all stages. Hope keeps alive the thought that somehow someday the situation, item, or person may be returned.

Closure – coming to an end of the intense parts of the grieving process.

Signs & Symptoms of Dysfunctional Coping

Consumed with thoughts of the deceased

Becomes overly depressed

Becomes a risk-taker Talks of suicide Hygiene changes Removes self from

friends Drugs/Alcohol abuse

Depression – Warning signs:

Low motivation Feelings of

worthlessness Sadness Guilt Suicidal thoughts Isolation Changes in behavior Drug use

HOW TO HELP SOMEONE DEALING WITH A LOSS

Be available to talk or just be with the person when you’re needed. Let them know you are there for them!

Be a good listener – don’t ask probing questions!  Avoid making suggestions about how something else will make up

for the loss.  Be patient – the person may need to be alone for a little bit.  Talk about the death/loss; share fond memories.  Respect how the other person grieves even if it’s different than your

own way of grieving.  Write a note, letter, card, or email. Let them know that you care and

that you’re there for them.

Be willing to get them help!

Helpful Resources

Someone at school

Teacher

Counselor

Clergy member

Psychologist … school or p

rofessional

Doctor … especially if a

person is experiencing

serious, ongoing depression

Hotlines

Friends/family

Community classes, clubs, and programs