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BAR BATMITZVAHHandbook
Board of Education Accepted 4/5/04Executive Committee Accepted 6/8/04Final Revision 8/24/04Updated 1/30/06, 2/18/09, 2/7/10, 1/30/11, 2/14/13
BAR/BAT MITZVAH HANDBOOK
TABLE OF CONTENTS
I. Introduction page 1
II. Time Line for B’nai Mitzvah Preparation page 2
III. Staff Responsibilities page 3
IV. Overview of Bar/Bat Mitzvah Training page 4
V. Instructional Materials and Study Time page 5
VI. Administrative Procedures page 6
VII. Bar/Bat MitzvahRequirements andPreparationA. Your Child page 6B. You, the Parents page 7C. Decorum page 7D. Special Needs and Other Issues page 8
VIII. Fees page 9
IX. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service ProcedureA. Times of the Services page 9B. Student’s Role in Services page 10C. The Service page 10D. Presentation of Congregational Gifts page 12
X. HospitalityA. Let’s Celebrate page 13B. Friday Evening Shabbat page 13C. Shabbat Morning page 13D. Ballroom Celebrations page 14
Appendix I Glossary of Terms page 15Appendix II Honors Form for Shabbat Morning page 17Appendix III Honors Form for Shabbat Afternoon page 20Appendix IV The Mitzvah Project page 22Appendix V Fee Schedule page 24Appendix VI Adath Israel Catering Contacts page 25Appendix VII Extra Menu Items page 27Appendix VIII Adath Israel Judaica Gift Shop page 28
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I. INTRODUCTION
Mazal Tov. You are entering into a wonderful and exciting period of Jewish education and celebration – the Bar/Bat Mitzvah of your child. All of us at Adath Israel wish to help make the religious ceremony of your child’s upcoming Bar or Bat Mitzvah a meaningful and memorable experience for your child, your family and our entire congregation!
Historically, when a boy turned 13 he was called to the Torah at a public worship service to mark his coming of age in the Jewish religion. The child was considered an adult in the Jewish community and afforded all the rights, privileges and responsibilities of any member of the community. At Adath Israel, an egalitarian Conservative synagogue affiliated with the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, that tradition has been preserved and extended to all young persons. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony, usually part of the Congregation’s regular Shabbat morning service, invites each young person to participate in a way that demonstrates his or her skills and abilities to function as an adult member of the Jewish community.
At Adath Israel we seek to create an environment of becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah in which every family will understand the child’s responsibilities and privileges within the Jewish tradition. Your child will develop fluency in the skills and customs needed to participate in an adult prayer service and connect with community, family, friends, Jewish tradition and God.
To this end, we will arrange a series of meetings, programs and activities at the synagogue prior to the ceremony. First, there is Putting God on the Guest List. This is the title of a wonderful book about Bar/Bat Mitzvah and is also the title of meetings conducted by our Rabbi in which parents explore the spiritual significance of this Simcha for the whole family. In addition, we will be introducing family education experiences in Hey Class year (5th grade) and Vav Class year (6th Grade) designed to explore Jewish living and identity. Then, to acquaint you with the Shabbat morning service, and to answer any questions you may have, there is a session with representatives from the Ritual Committee approximately six months prior to your Simhah called the “Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Meeting” to which you will receive an invitation. We also urge your family to attend Shabbat Services regularly. This will help everyone feel more comfortable with the service on the day of your Simhah.
Finally, services at Adath Israel are for all of our congregants. We want our children not only to feel that they are part of a community but part of the whole Jewish people. As such, it is not unusual for Aufrufs (calling a bride and groom for an Aliyah), baby namings, recognition of anniversaries, birthdays or yahrtzeits, or blessings for individuals traveling to Israel to be part of a Shabbat Service in addition to B’nai Mitzvah. We look forward to seeing you at the synagogue and hope we can contribute to the beauty and significance of this milestone in your family’s life.
Mazal Tov!Your Adath Israel Family
II. TIME LINE FOR B’NAI MITZVAH PREPARATION
4th grade Assignment of Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. Contact the Executive
Director if you wish to reserve the facility for your celebration.
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5th grade Participate in family education experience; students learn Torah
tropes; Hebrew reading proficiency test given. 6th grade Review of Torah tropes; tallit, tefillin and
kippah significance and use; participate in family education experience; parents of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah participate in “Putting God on the Guest List” seminars. Discuss Mitzvah Project with the Education Director.
Check Adath Israel Website for updates: Click on House of Learning;
Bar and Bat Mitzvah for the link to the Handbook 9-10 months Cantor assigns the B’nai Mitzvah teacher. Begin the 8 Shabbat
service attendance requirement.
8 months Begin weekly tutoring sessions. Begin the Mitzvah Project. (For early fall Bar/Bat Mitzvah dates, the tutoring may begin 10 months prior.)
6 months Parents attend the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Meeting with
representatives from the Ritual Committee. Midway in Student meets with Cantor to review progress. Tutoring
3-4 months Family meets with Rabbi; D’var Torah preparation begins. Make sure that all financial obligations to the synagogue are met.
2-3 weeks Student meets with Cantor for rehearsal. Make photography appointments
and reservations with the rabbi assistant. Photographs cannot be taken during religious school hours.
2 weeks Submit Honors Forms (Appendix II or III) to the rabbi assistant.
Day of… Mazal Tov it is time to shep nahes and celebrate!
III. STAFF RESPONSIBILITIES Responsibilities for the preparation of Bar/Bat Mitzvah are as follows:
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Rabbi Eric Yanoff Assists the student in preparing the D’var Torah (a 610-934-1918 thought of Torah) with the Bar/Bat [email protected] Mitzvah; meets with the family; facilitates “Putting God on the
Guest List” meetings
Susan Neidich Schedules initial meeting between Rabbi Yanoff and the family;Rabbi Assistant collects the Honors Form; schedules Bar/Bat Mitzvah 610-934-1906 [email protected]
Sherrie Rosenberg Klein Coordinates and administers the B’nai Mitzvah Education Director program; plans and coordinates family learning experiences and 610-934-1912 manages students’ mitzvah [email protected] Cantor Bernard Lowe Assigns B’nai Mitzvah teachers; supervises 610-934-1919 B’nai Mitzvah teachers; coordinates the preparation [email protected] students for – Bar/Bat Mitzvah and conducts
rehearsals of students on the Bimah.
B’nai Teach the blessings before and after the – Torah and – Mitzvah Teachers Haftarah readings; the Torah and Haftarah readings;
and the service. Lori Dafilou Arranges for use of facilities; arranges food for Oneg Shabbat and Executive Director Kiddush; discusses fees and [email protected] Ritual Committee Explains the various aspects of religious services and parents’
participation; conducts Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information Meetings, works with family members who want to read Torah at your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
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IV. OVERVIEW OF BAR/BAT MITZVAH TRAINING The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a competition, test or performance. It is meant to be a meaningful religious experience for your family and for the congregation. Students are encouraged to do the best they can without comparing themselves to other children. Our goal is that your child does as much as his or her own motivation and capabilities permit. We want each student to have a positive Jewish experience. The joy, happiness and pride of becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah are their own reward.
During the Dalet Class year (4th grade) the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date Assignment Committee will assign - Bar/Bat Mitzvah dates. Every attempt will be made to assign a Shabbat morning within the six (6) weeks following the child’s Hebrew Calendar birth date.
In Hey Class (5th grade), students will receive weekly, in-class instruction on how to chant Torah tropes (musical cantillation). Students will also take a Hebrew proficiency test. Students who need extra help will be provided with remedial work prior to and in conjunction with their Bar/Bat Mitzvah training.
At the beginning of the - Vav Class year (6th grade), students will receive in-class review of Torah tropes. Also during the - Vav Class year, your child will study the significance and meaning of Tallit, Tefillin and Kippah. As part of the curriculum boys and girls are encouraged to acquire their own -Tallit and set of Tefillin so they can learn to observe these mitzvot. Students will have the opportunity to use the prayer skills they learn by leading parts of our Shabbat Junior Congregation Service.
Approximately nine to ten months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the Cantor will notify you of who will be your child’s B’nai Mitzvah teacher. Students will begin their individual Bar/Bat Mitzvah training within one month of being notified of who is their teacher. Students will receive approximately 30 private half-hour lessons. During this time, the student will apply his/her general knowledge of Hebrew and trope (musical cantillation) to his or her individual Torah and Haftarah portions. In addition, they will review Torah and Haftarah blessings and other portions of the Shabbat services.
If you decide to engage an “outside” B’nai Mitzvah teacher (one who has not been assigned by the Cantor) this teacher will not be considered a replacement or substitute for an Adath Israel B’nai Mitzvah teacher. If you decide to hire such a supplemental teacher, you will still be responsible for paying the tutoring fees charged to each B’nai Mitzvah family and your child is still required to meet weekly with his or her assigned B’nai Mitzvah teacher. One of the requirements for a child to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is to complete a Mitzvah Project. In 6th Grade, the Education Director will contact you and your child to discuss an appropriate Mitzvah Project. The Education Director has a reference book of sample projects, and will meet with you and your child to find a project that is meaningful. The Education Director is available during this period to answer any questions you may have about your child’s Mitzvah Project.
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Two to three months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, your child will be contacted by the Rabbi in order to begin preparing a D’var Torah which contains interpretations of and ideas from the Torah and/or Haftarah portions. Your child will meet with the Rabbi for three (3) half-hour to 45 minute sessions to learn about the Parsha of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and to create a D’var Torah. Those students with early fall B’nai Mitzvah dates will begin their preparation with the Rabbi in May or June.
Approximately midway through the B’nai Mitzvah tutoring process, your child will meet with the Cantor to review the material learned to that point and to plan the training goals for the remainder of the B’nai Mitzvah program. Finally, during the two-week period immediately preceding the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, your child will meet again with the Cantor for a complete “run through” of the service. V. INSTRUCTIONAL MATERIALS AND STUDY TIME During the lessons with his or her B’nai Mitzvah teacher, your child will receive his or her study materials. These materials include the Haftarah, its blessings, the Maftir Torah reading (or sometimes an alternate Torah reading), and the Torah aliyah blessings. Your child will also receive a copy of the trope sheet, and a CD containing his or her various readings, as well as the Kiddush for the evening of - Shabbat and additional aliyot if desired. Your child will have the opportunity to first learn the Torah reading and then proceed to the Haftarah reading. Your child will also receive a CD of prayer services if and when he or she is ready for them. These materials will be used throughout your child’s training and should be kept in a folder and brought to the lessons. There will be a charge for materials that need to be replaced. We recommend that students study the Blessings, the Haftarah and Torah portions, and the - Tefillot, for approximately 30 minutes a day at least five days per week. Students who review all materials on a regular basis will better remember what they learn.
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VI. ADMINISTRATIVE PROCEDURES The B’nai Mitzvah training schedule follows the Religious School Calendar and the arrangements made with the B’nai Mitzvah teacher. If Religious School is closed because of a secular or a religious holiday, or inclement weather, then there will be no Bar or Bat Mitzvah lesson (unless students are told otherwise by the teacher). In the winter, parents should listen to the radio for cancellation of Religious School classes. Our code number is 439. If a student cannot attend a class or lesson for any reason, please call his or her Bar/Bat Mitzvah teacher. Since the B’nai Mitzvah teacher has set aside special time for your child, try to avoid cancellations except in emergency circumstances. Likewise, please avoid tardy arrivals so there is sufficient time for learning and preparation. Your child’s attendance and progress are carefully monitored by the Cantor. B’nai Mitzvah instruction will not be scheduled during Religious School hours.
There may be occasions when the Rabbi and/or Cantor are not available to lead a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Please be assured that in this unusual situation, appropriate arrangements for clergy for your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah will be made by the Rabbi and/or the Cantor.
VII. BAR/BAT MITZVAH REQUIREMENTS AND PREPARATION Please take the time to familiarize yourself with the following requirements:
A. Your Child: Must have attended and satisfied the requirements for Religious School or be
enrolled in a Jewish Day School.
Must attend sessions for B’nai Mitzvah training in addition to class time.
Is required to attend eight (8) Shabbat services that coincide with his or her Bar/Bat Mitzvah service (Shabbat morning or Minhah Ma’ariv and Havdallah services) at Adath Israel as he or she begins his or her B’nai Mitzvah training, which is approximately 8-10 months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. An attendance box is located on the Bimah near the bimah steps. When your child moves his/her card to the front of the box, his or her attendance will be counted and recorded after Shabbat. Regular attendance at services will allow a greater comfort level with the words, melodies, structure and flow of our services for you and your child as he or she prepares to lead the congregation at his or her Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Only students who actively prepare to join Adath Israel’s adult Jewish community and meet the religious school and service attendance requirements will earn the privilege of teaching the Congregation through the presentation of a D’var Torah.
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Is required to be engaged in an ongoing Mitzvah Project of community service during the Bar/Bat Mitzvah year. In the Vav Class year (6th
Grade), students and their families should begin to think about and plan for a Mitzvah Project. The Education Director will help you select a Mitzvah Project.
B. You the Parents: Are encouraged to attend - Shabbat evening and morning and/or Minhah Ma'ariv and Havdalah services with your child. You will be contacted by the Ritual Committee to serve as an usher at a service prior to your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. ● Are encouraged to attend the family education experiences in Hey Class year (5th grade) and Vav Class year (6th grade). ● Are encouraged to attend the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Information meeting (or make equivalent arrangements with a Ritual committee representative). You will receive notification of the dates and time of this meeting which generally occur in the fall and spring of each year.
Are encouraged to adequately prepare the Torah Blessings and the Shehehiyanu Blessing you will be chanting.
C. Decorum: We want to provide a warm and welcoming experience for your guests who will be visitors to Adath Israel during your Simcha. Proper decorum in the synagogue includes paying attention to the service and avoiding unnecessary conversation or moving in and out of the Sanctuary which may distract people from their prayers. It is sometimes challenging for all of us when the behavior of young adults becomes disturbing to others. A tactful discussion with the parents of your child’s friends about appropriate synagogue behavior before your Simcha might be helpful. During Shabbat Morning Services, the Torah Service begins at approximately 9:45 a.m. and the Morning Service concludes at approximately 12:00 noon.
“Business attire” is considered appropriate for synagogue. For Shabbat afternoon Minhah services (where evening attire may be typical), girls are expected to wear modest clothing while on the Bimah and change following Havdallah. At a minimum, girls and women’s shoulders should be covered and hemlines should be of an appropriate length, and modesty should be observed. Tuxedos are not suitable attire for a - Bar Mitzvah boy during the service. According to the Rabbi’s discretion, a robe may be provided to a Bar or Bat Mitzvah who is inappropriately dressed.
D. Special Needs and Other Issues: Adath Israel is a fully accessible facility. Guests who require wheelchairs or other mobility aids may enter the synagogue through the Tuttleman Chapel entrance. In addition, the elevator, large print siddurim (prayer books) and other assistance is
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available. A mechanical lift is available for people who are not able to use stairs in order to ascend to the Bimah.
You have the option of providing your own personalized welcome supplement to explain the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony for your guests, though it is not required. If you choose to do so, you must submit a draft of your text at least two weeks prior to your event to the Rabbi for review and approval before it is printed.
Should any of your guests be - Shomer Shabbat (Sabbath Observant) and require home hospitality in order to remain within walking distance of the synagogue, arrangements can be made by contacting the Rabbi.
In accordance with the standards of the Conservative Movement and in order to maintain the sanctity of the Sabbath, there is no photography or videography in the synagogue or adjacent grounds on - Shabbat (Friday sundown until Saturday one hour after sundown) or Festivals. We encourage you to create your photographic memories of this milestone by making an appointment with your photographer and/or videographer for the week before the actual service. At this time, family pictures may be taken on the Bimah. The appointment must be scheduled through the main office by contacting the Rabbi Assistant to avoid conflicting with other activities. If you wish to include the Rabbi and/or Cantor in your photo session, you should invite them personally via phone call or email.
Families that will be providing special kippot should contact the Executive Director. Baskets for the kippot will be provided by the synagogue. For double B’nai Mitzvah, when both families want to provide kippot, two baskets will be made available. We ask each family to make a sign identifying for whose guests the kippot are being provided, e.g., FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY OF __________________. Personalized kippot are available for purchase through our Sisterhood Judaica Shop. See Appendix VIII for other items that can be purchased for your Simcha through the Adath Israel Gift Shop.
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VIII. FEES
A fixed Bar or Bat Mitzvah fee is charged to the family of all B’nai Mitzvah candidates. This fee covers the cost of B’nai Mitzvah instruction, meetings and rehearsals with clergy and the involvement of all of our staff. This fee is spread over three years beginning with the year after the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date is assigned.
The Mitzvah/Hospitality Fee is charged to the family of all B’nai Mitzvah candidates. Since it is the policy of Adath Israel that all who attend services, including guests of the celebrating family as well as regular worshippers, are invited to break bread following services, the fee charged covers providing for the Friday evening Oneg Shabbat and the Shabbat morning Kiddush, as well as pulpit flowers. That fee is reflected on your synagogue statement as Mitzvah Hospitality. During the week of your Simcha, your family will be acknowledged in the - Shabbat announcements for your sponsorship. If a family chooses to host a catered post-Kiddush meal, for their guests, they remain responsible for sponsorship of the standard Kiddush as well.
You may mark the milestone occasion with a gift of tzedakah to the synagogue in honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. You may also wish to make a donation expressing appreciation to those who have helped your child in preparation, for example, the B’nai Mitzvah teacher, religious school teachers or clergy. Please feel free to contact the Executive Director or rabbi assistant for details.
In accordance with synagogue policy, all financial obligations (including membership dues, campaign commitments, school fees, Bar/Bat Mitzvah Program fees, Mitzvah Hospitality charges, and facility rentals) must be fully current three (3) months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in order to maintain the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date on our calendar. Failure to maintain an account in good financial standing may result in the surrender of the date, interruption of B’nai Mitzvah instruction, and cancellation of facilities reservations. All charges are payable upon billing, unless a special payment schedule is approved and confirmed in writing by the Executive Director of the synagogue. Questions or concerns should be directed to the Executive Director.
IX. BAR/BAT MITZVAH SERVICE PROCEDURE
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A. Times of the ServicesFriday evening services begin at 6:00 p.m. and conclude around 7:00 p.m. –
Shabbat (Saturday) morning services begin at 9:15 a.m. and conclude at approximately 12:00 noon. – Minhah, – Maariv and – Havdallah services are scheduled to end at the conclusion of – Shabbat. Start times will vary depending on the season of the year, so you should consult the Rabbi for more specific information.
B. Student’s Role in Services
1. Friday Evening: Your child will participate in the service and lead the worshippers in the Kiddush.
2. Shabbat Morning: The Rabbi, the Cantor and the B’nai Mitzvah teacher, will decide which parts of the service each child will lead. We expect our students to at least lead the following:
Torah Service Maftir Torah reading and blessings Haftarah and blessings D’var Torah - Shabbat Morning - Kiddush, Netilat Yadayim Hand Washing) and Motzi
Additional - Torah readings and - Tefillot (whole prayer units) may be assigned as the student’s motivation and time permit.
3. Minhah Ma’ariv and Havdallah: The Rabbi, the Cantor and the B’nai Mitzvah teacher, will decide which parts of the service each child will lead. We expect our students to at least lead the following:
Ashrei Torah Service Torah and blessings D’var Torah Havdalah
C. The Service
1. Family is seated in the Sanctuary in the third row on the right hand side. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah sits with his/her parents in the congregation until such time that he or she comes up on the Bimah for his/her participation in leading the service. All members of the family are encouraged to follow along with the service using the siddurim (prayer books) and humashim (books of Torah and Haftarah readings) available at your seats.
2. Just before the beginning of the Torah service, parents come to the
Bimah to place the tallit on their child’s shoulders. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah faces parents (including non-Jewish parents). At this time personal remarks to your child may be made. We encourage you to use this opportunity to share with your child your thoughts on the meaning of B’nai Mitzvah and Jewish identity. Remarks are
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most effective when they are kept to approximately two paragraphs in length. After remarks are made by the parents, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah parents recite the She-he-heyanu blessing in Hebrew and English.
3. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah goes to the Rabbi’s lectern, delivers the D’var Torah. For a double B’nai Mitzvah, the first D’var Torah will be given prior to the - Torah reading service, and the second will be delivered before the Haftarah reading.
4. Aliyot and other honors are allocated by the Ritual Committee in accordance with Adath Israel rules and guidelines. Family honors include:
a) Open and close the Ark/carry the - Torah in the processional. (If two Torahs are used, then the family may honor another couple with the holding/carrying of this second - Torah.) For a double B’nai Mitzvah, both sets of families will participate in the Torah service to open and close the Ark. Parents (including non-Jewish parents) are on the Bimah standing next to their child. Up to four adults may be honored with opening or closing the Ark. For the first processional, one parent leads the procession by carrying the Torah. For the second processional, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah leads the procession by carrying the Torah (non-Jewish family members may join the procession as the Torah descends from the Bimah).
b) Six Aliyot to the Torah at a Shabbat morning service and threeAliyot at a Shabbat Minhah service (up to four adults may go up together). One of these Aliyot is assigned to the parents of the B’nai Mitzvah. On Shabbat morning the Maftir aliyah for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child is an additional Aliyah. At Shabbat Minhah the Maftir aliyah for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child is the third Aliyah of the three.
c) Hagbahah – the lifting of the – Torah scroll: This honor is given only to those who have experience and are comfortable with lifting the – Torah scroll.
d) G’lilah – the tying of the – Torah scroll: This honor is physically easier to carry out than lifting the – Torah scroll.
e) Non-Jewish parents or extended family members, if they so desire, are invited to recite from the Bimah several English readings which include the Prayer For Our Country and the Prayer for Peace.
5. Ushers from the Ritual Committee will assist your family and guests who are being honored with an Aliyah to be on the Bimah at the proper time.
6. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah, accompanied by parents (including non-
Jewish parents), is called to the - Torah for the MaftirAliyah.a) Rabbi recites a prayer for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah as the
parents (including non-Jewish parents) and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah remain at the Shulhan (center Reading Table).
b) Bar/Bat Mitzvah chants the Blessing before the Haftarah, the Haftarah and the Blessings after the Haftarah.
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c) After completing the Haftarah and its blessings, the Cantor leads the congregation in song of celebration. The parents (including non-Jewish parents) are invited to join their child to the Bimah. Candy is thrown, and then the Rabbi offers words of celebration of this milestone in the child’s life. The Congregational gifts are presented, and this moment of blessing concludes with the traditional parents’ blessing, led by the Rabbi and Cantor, with the parents’ hands on the child’s head or shoulders.
7. Family members (over the age of B’nai Mitzvah) who are capable of reading the - Torah or leading a unit of the service are encouraged to do so with two months advance notification to the B’nai Mitzvah teacher and Cantor (with the exception of Musaf which is reserved for the Cantor). Those who wish to learn to read - Torah in celebration of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah are encouraged to do so.
8. Younger siblings are encouraged to learn and lead the congregation in Ashrei, Ein Elokeynu, Aleynu or Adon Olam either alone or with the B’nai Mitzvah. They may also participate in calling their sibling to the Torah as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
D. Presentation of Congregational Gifts On behalf of our congregation, each Bar/Bat Mitzvah is presented with a gift from our Sisterhood and Men’s Club, the Shayna Barlas Committee for Remembrance of the Holocaust and the Adath Israel chapter of USY. In addition, a B’nai Mitzvah Certificate is presented to commemorate this special day. The Ritual Committee will appoint a presenter, or you may request a specific presenter from among Adath Israel’s Board of Directors, Trustees or Governors. Please indicate your choice on the Honors form (see Appendices II or III).
X. HOSPITALITY
A. Let’s Celebrate! The celebration of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is called a Seudat
Mitzvah and it is a mitzvah. Celebrating at Adath Israel is a wonderful and convenient way to continue the - mitzvah of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
We encourage our B’nai Mitzvah families to extend the celebration of this milestone by hosting their seudat mitzvah celebration with family and friends in one of the beautiful ballrooms at Adath Israel. Our facilities can accommodate anything from the most intimate or casual gathering to 250 guests for a black tie dinner dance, and everything in between. We offer a panel of approved kosher caterers for your
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consideration, and invite you to contact the Executive Director for details and personal attention. B. Friday Evening Shabbat
Friday evening Oneg Shabbat is served in Frankel Hall as a stand-up buffet. Refreshments include kosher wine and grape juices, hallah, tea, coffee, certified kosher pareve bakery sweets which are ordered by the synagogue office. We offer basic white paper goods (napkins, plates, table covers, and plastic flatware) or you may prefer to “upgrade” by providing us with those you have purchased. You may also choose to supplement the food content. Please contact the Executive Director in order to make those arrangements.
C. Shabbat Morning Shabbat morning Kiddush for the congregation is served in Frankel
Hall and consists of whitefish, tuna and egg salads, bread/rolls, a vegetable salad, bagels and cream cheese, Danish/pastries and petit fours with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child’s name. All of these are ordered by the synagogue office. If you wish to add to this meal, speak with the Executive Director about ordering additional items such as fruit trays, Israeli salad platters or small sandwiches, etc., and there are additional charges for all supplemental items. You may also wish to add your own paper goods or floral centerpieces.
If you wish to have an “extended” Kiddush for the congregation held in the Tabas Auditorium, then contact the Executive Director for an up-to-date list of approved caterers. The synagogue will work with your selected caterer and will provide the pastries and “name cakes” which would be included in the “Bar/Bat Mitzvah Hospitality Fee” paid by each family.
If you elect to have a private reception following the Shabbat morning service and congregational Kiddush, then contact the Executive Director to discuss the arrangements and the associated fees.
D. Ballroom Celebrations Celebrations held in our facility must adhere to the following guidelines:
Host families are expected to provide copies of their booking contracts with their caterer, along with current certificates of insurance from all the vendors they have engaged, including photographer/videographer, florist/decorator, entertainers, etc. All decorations or special equipment for which the host family has contracted must be pre-approved by the Executive Director, and attachment to the walls, ceilings, curtains/draperies of anything is strictly prohibited, as well as any obstruction of the fire extinguisher and/or exits. All vendor deliveries of food and beverage for an event on Shabbat or immediately after Shabbat must be completed by Friday afternoon at 3:00 PM. No deliveries of food and beverage are permitted on Shabbat.
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Tall candles with open flame are not permissible, though votive candles are satisfactory. The use of all candles is prohibited on Shabbat. For celebrations held during Shabbat, only Jewish, Israeli or klezmer music (including related dancing) is permissible. Secular music (DJ or live) and social dancing is not acceptable. Candle-lighting ceremonies and craft activities are not permitted on Shabbat. Specific questions should be directed to the Executive Director or Rabbi for clarification.
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APPENDIX I
GLOSSARY OF TERMS Aliyah Ascend; term for being called up for a Torah honor
Bimah Pulpit
B’nai Mitzvah Plural form of Bar or Bat Mitzvah
D’var Torah Word of - Torah; refers to commentary or explanation of particular - Torah lesson being read
G’lilah Honor of tying and dressing the Torah scroll
Haftarah Portion of the Prophets read weekly that corresponds to each weekly portion of Torah
Hagbahah Honor of lifting the open Torah scroll
Havdallah Separation; refers to the brief beautiful candlelight ceremony that separates Shabbat from the rest of the week
Kiddush Sanctification; the term for the blessing over wine, as well as the
repast following Shabbat morning services
Kippah Yarmulke; skull cap
Maariv Evening service
Maftir That portion of the Torah reading read last on Shabbat or Holidays, typically reserved for chanting by the Bar or Bat Mitzvah
Minhah Shabbat afternoon service at which the Torah is read and a
Bar or Bat Mitzvah can participate
Musaf - Additional service; included on Shabbat, a Holiday and Rosh Hodesh
Oneg Shabbat Sabbath Joy; the term for the refreshments served following Friday evening services
Seudat Mitzvah – Celebratory meal following the Bar or Bat Mitzvah
Shaharit Morning Service
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Shulhan Torah Reading Table
Simhah Joy or Celebration
Tallit Prayer Shawl
Tefillin Phylacteries worn by adult Jews during weekday morning prayers
Tefillot Prayers
Torah Scroll of the Five Books of Moses; read on each - Shabbat morning and afternoon, Monday and Thursday, as well as Festivals and the New Moon
Trope Musical notations for chanting Torah and Haftarah readings
Tzedakah Justice or Righteousness; colloquially understood to mean charity
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APPENDIX II
BAR/BAT MITZVAH HONORS FOR SHABBAT MORNING
To Be Submitted Two (2) Weeks Prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Name: Date:
Parashah: Hebrew Date:
Honor English Name of Honoree Hebrew Name of Honoree (Name ben/bat Father's name v' Mother's name)
Ark Opening, Page 139: 1.
2.
3.
4.
Aliyah 1 - RISHON: 1.
2.
3.
4.
Verses:
Torah Reader:
Aliyah 2 - SHENI: (Reserved for Congregation)
Verses:
Torah Reader:
Aliyah 3 - SHELISHI: 1.
2.
3.
4.
Verses:
Torah Reader:
Aliyah 4 - REVII: 1.
2.
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3.
4.
Verses:
Torah Reader:
Aliyah 5 - HAMISHI: 1.
2.
3.
4.
Verses:
Torah Reader:
Aliyah 6 - SHISHI: (Reserved for Congregation)
Verses:
Torah Reader:
Aliyah 7 - SHEVII: 1.
2.
3.
4.
Verses:
Torah Reader:
Aliyah 8 - AHARON: 1.
2.
3.
4.
Verses:
Torah Reader:
Maftir:
Verses:
Torah Reader:
Hagbahah:
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Gelilah:
If applicable – Hagbahah (2nd Torah):If applicable – Gelilah (2nd Torah):
Ark Opening, Page 153: 1.
2.
3.
4.
Presenter of Gifts:
Additional Readings that may be assigned
A Prayer for our Country, Page 148: (can be read by a non-Jewish Guest)
A Prayer for Peace, Page 149: (can be read by a non-Jewish Guest)
Ashrei , Page 151: (can be chanted by younger siblings or other children)
Adon Olam , Page 187: (can be chanted by younger siblings or other children)
20
APPENDIX III
BAR/BAT MITZVAH HONORS FOR SHABBAT AFTERNOON
Minhah, Ma’ariv and Havdallah Services)
To Be Submitted Two (2) Weeks Prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
BAR/BAT MITZVAH______________________________________DATE_______________________
HEBREW NAME______________________________________________________________________
NOTES: A) All the Hebrew names should include ben or bat (son or daughter of) father & mother’s
Hebrew names. B) Up to four adults may share a single aliyah; the honor of Hagbahah (Raise Torah) and Gelilah
(Tie Torah) are done by one (different) person each.
Ark Opening, Page 229__________________________________________________________________
Aliyah – 1 ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Hebrew Name(s) ______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
Torah Reader__________________________________________________________________
Aliyah – 2 ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Hebrew Name(s) ______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
Torah Reader__________________________________________________________________
Aliyah – 3 ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Hebrew Name(s) ______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
Torah Reader__________________________________________________________________
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Hagbahah – Raise Torah ________________________________________________________________
G’lilah – Tie Torah ____________________________________________________________________
Ark Opening, Page 230 _________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
Presenter of Congregational Gifts _________________________________________________________
Optional: For immediate relatives who are non-Jewish, the following prayers may be recited. Immediate relatives can include grandparents, aunts and uncles of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
A Prayer for Our Country (p. 148) _________________________________________________________
A Prayer for Peace (p. 149) ______________________________________________________________
22
APPENDIX IV
THE MITZVAH PROJECT
As a Jewish adult, one is obligated to perform - mitzvot. There are Mitzvot Bein Adam LaMakom commandments concerning the relationship between a person and God and Mitzvot Bein Adam Lahavero commandments concerning the relationship between one person and another. One of the requirements for a child to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is to complete a Mitzvah Project. The project, while focusing on our relation with one another, should reflect the talents and interests of the student. It is the goal of this requirement that the student will feel empowered by the mitzvah and continue to do the mitzvah beyond the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Below is a partial list of project our students have performed.
Bal Tashhit – Not destroying needlessly Assessed the recycling program at Adath Israel and educated the teachers and students
about recycling while providing every classroom with a recycling bin. Cleaned a park by volunteering at Morris Park or Riverbend.
Ha’akhlat Re’evim – Feeding the hungry Volunteered at JRA (Jewish Relief Agency) by packing food packages & delivering food Cooked for a Friend (at Adath Israel) Helped stack the shelves at the Mitzvah Food Pantry Sorted food at Project Share Planned a team for Souparama
Bikkur Holim – Visiting the sick Made fleece blankets for patients at CHOP Volunteered at the Ronald McDonald House
Hiddur P’nei Zakeim – Respecting the elderly Visited an assisted living home or nursing home and
Played games with the residents Created note cards (using art talent) and helped residents write
notes to family/friends Organized a concert (with friends from your band/orchestra)
23
Pidyon Shevuyim – Redeeming the captives Did a letter writing/e-mail campaigns to Congressional representatives
about Darfur, Gilad Shalit Attended a rally in support of a cause
Pikuah Nefesh – Saving a life Organized a team for a “Run/Walk for the Cure” Alex’s Lemonade Stand Organized a glove and hat/scarf drive for the homeless Read to children in afterschool programs (JCC, Day Care Centers) Volunteered at a therapeutic riding center
Tzaar Ba’alei Hayyim – Not causing pain to animals Collected items for a local shelter (blankets, treats, leashes, collars)
Please note: Due to liability issues and HIPA “Health Insurance Privacy Act” laws, preteens cannot volunteer at animal shelters, the SPCA or many homeless shelters.
24
APPENDIX V
FEES
(Current pricing as of January 2013 – Subject to change each year.)
I. BAR/BAT MITZVAH FEE - $1500 (billed over 3 years)
II. BAR/BAT MITZVAH HOSPITALITY FEE - $750(This fee covers the costs of the flower arrangement for the Bimah, the refreshments at the Friday evening Oneg Shabbat and the food at the Shabbat morning Basic Kiddush. Additional charges would apply for changes/additions to this menu.)
III. FACILITY RENTAL FEES Tabas or Girsh Ballroom for Evening Celebration $800
2 rooms in one day $1000Girsh Ballroom (for private Kiddush) $800
NOTE: Rental Fees include maintenance set-up and breakdown, tables and chairs. IV. SECURITY: @ $40 per security person, per hour
Note: All parties will require a minimum of 2 security people. V. COAT CHECK ROOM: (if staffing requested) $12/hour per coat check attendant VI. DAMAGE DEPOSIT: All private affairs require a $500 credit card authorization be on
file. This authorization will be shredded following the event, provided facility is left in satisfactory condition.
VII. SECULAR HOLIDAY WEEKENDS: A surcharge of $250 will be added to the total fee if a holiday weekend is requested. However, if your Simhah is assigned on a holiday weekend, then there will be no surcharge.
25
APPENDIX Vl
APPROVED KOSHER CATERERS
FULL SERVICE CATERING FOR PRIVATE EVENTS
BARCLAY CATERERSLarry Drossner10960 Dutton Road, Philadelphia, PA 19154215-612-2837
BETTY THE CATERERPeter Olster7037 North Broad Street, Philadelphia, PA 19126215-224-8400
CITRON & ROSEDarby Burns370 Montgomery AvenueMerion, PA 19066610-664-4919
ESSENLynn Buono1750 North Front Street, Philadelphia, PA 19122215-423-4704
FOOD DESIGNJannette Axelrod921 East Chelten Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19138215-843-2292
DROP OFF/CASUAL CATERING
NEW YORK BAGEL7555 Haverford Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19151215-878-8080
R&R PRODUCE7551 Haverford Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19151215-878-6264
SHALOM CATERING7588 Haverford Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19151610-668-2120
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KIDDUSH LUNCHEONS
ADATH ISRAEL IN-HOUSE CATERING VOLUNTEERSTammy Roberts, [email protected]
A LA KARTE CATERING625 Montgomery AveNarberth, PA 19066610- 331-9132
ADATH ISRAEL IS PLEASED TO PRESENT THIS PANEL OF APPROVED KOSHER CATERERS. THEY INVITE YOUR INQUIRY, AS DO WE. PLEASE CONTACT THE ADATH ISRAEL OFFICE REGARDING AVAILABILITY AND RENTAL FEES FOR OUR FACILITIES.
NOTE: THIS LIST IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE FEBRUARY 2013
27
APPENDIX VII
Extra Menu Items-2012-2013
(To be provided by in-house catering volunteers)
Cloth Table cloths in a variety of colors- $ 5.00 per table (short) $10.00 per table (long)
Bar Mitzvah Punch $50.00
Rolled Lox $ 2.00 per person
Kippered Salmon $ 2.00 per person
Stuffed White Fish $ 1.00 per person
Chilled Poached Salmon With dill sauce $ 3.00 per person
Combination of all three fishes $ 4.00 per person
Dairy Sweet Kugel $ 2.00 per person
Pineapple Challah Kugel $ 2.00 per person
Macaroni and Cheese $ 2.00 per person
Fruit and cheese Blintzes $ 2.00 per person
Cheese Blintzes $ 2.00 per personServed with sour cream and cherries
Tossed Salad with Oranges, Cranberries $ 0.50 per personCandied walnuts and Feta Cheese
Salads like Tomato, Basil and $ 0.50 per person Mozzarella, coleslaw, corn and Black Bean, etc
Fruit Trays Feeds 50 people $75.00 per tray
Fruit Bar $ 1.50 per person
Ice Cream Bar $ 2.00 per person
Other items like Poached Salmon, Lasagna, Deli Lunches, etc. are also available.Combinations of the above foods are also available
To place an order or to ask a question, please contact Tammy Roberts at 610-306-7895 or e-mail: [email protected]
28
APPENDIX VIII
Adath Israel Judaica Shop 250 N. Highland Avenue
Merion Station, PA 19066610-934-1930 [email protected]
Dear Bar or Bat Mitzvah Parents,
A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a joyous occasion for everyone – parents, grandparents, friends, but most of all, our sons and daughters. The volunteers of the Adath Israel Judaica Shop extend our best wishes to you.
Adath Israel’s Gift shop operates under the auspices of the Sisterhood, and one of our major goals is service to the Adath Israel members. It is with this goal in mind that we offer our assistance to you. Whether you are planning a small private celebration or a lavish catered affair, our shop is ready to help you with many aspects of this festive occasion.
The shop offers many religious, educational, gift and party items to make your simhah a truly lasting memory. Please stop by and take the time to browse through the shop. Our volunteers will be glad to assist you. We offer a wonderful selection of:
Tallitot, Tefillin Kipot/yarmulkes (all colors and fabrics, plain or imprinted) Mezzuzahs, Kiddush Cups, Candlesticks, Tzedakah Boxes Jewelry Books of Judaic interest Personalized Memory Boxes Personalized Gifts and Party Items Candy, mints, nuts Kosher Wine
Please stop by with your son or daughter and sign up for our Bar/Bat Mitzvah Gift Registry.
We look forward to seeing you soon. Mazal Tov!
Sunday 9 am – 12:30 pmMonday 11 am – 1 pm
Tuesday & Thursday 9 am – 3 pmWednesday 9 am – 5 pm
Friday 9 am – 3 pm
Proceeds of the Gift Shop benefit the synagogue