8/11/2019 1 45 Writing Sample

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Successful sports professional s can earn a great deal more money than people in other important

professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Well trained and expert sport men and women make money more than other people

who have grate great and important positions. There are two different ideas about this subject. The first

one says  that this is acceptable and reasonable, while the second one [says that this is not] believes

differently.

Professional and well trained (this phrase has been used twice/ alternative : talented) 

athletes try a lot to learn and practice. They spend a lot of time in gyms in order to improve their sport

abilitiessport abilities and qualifications. The main part of their daily lives islives is spent for on sport.

According to field of their activity, for example swimming or running, the time that is( "that is" can be

omitted here in order to make it more natural) spent for on practicing varies. Also sport activityies 

hashave limited time. It means that athletes can notcannot  be active for long time. The age range for

activity ,In various kind of sports, is different. For example in football, the maximum age is around 32 or

34 and after that sport men or women have to stop playing. Some of thisthese playeres will continue

their  field as a coach but many of them will be retired. It is clear that they have to collect enough

money for retirement time, particularly many of them do not have a good support from insurance

companiesy after retirement.

In spite of theses talks( not very literal/ alterantive: inspite of abovementiond, other

idea refuses all these. Many of them are not well educated people. Many of them did not passhave not

passed  any course in universities, even in sport fields. In many countries, government ‘s money

investment for sport is enormous, particularly in developing developed countries. They have the high

level of salary scale in comparison with other professional skill workers. According to their conditions

,this is not fair.

In conclusion, professional sport men and women make money in comparison with

other well trained ( it is the third time this phrase has been used/ alternative : highly trained ) and skillful

people in other fields. Some people believe this is fair and some person(it is repeated/ alternative :

others) believe this is unfair.

Formatted: Underline

Comment [PC1]: Better to say : take football as

an example.

Comment [PC2]: In the conclusion, you have to

clarify your own point of view.

It is not good to be neutral.

8/11/2019 1 45 Writing Sample

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You work in a busy but poorly organized office and you are keen to be promoted. Your employer

needs to find a new supervisor for your department.

Write a letter to your employer. In the letter

Ask to be considered for this job

Explain why you would be a suitable candidate

Outline the current problems and changes you would like to make

No.7,Beheshti

St.28,Behesti Ave., Zahedan

July 12th

 ,2010

Dear Sir Smith,

I am writing to apply for " supervisor of accountancy department " position. I have been

working as an administer assistant inat your office for two years. During this time, I have gotten

many experiencemany experiences in this field. I have passes passed many suitable and useful courses

that they were relative(relevant is a better word choice here) with to my job.it is worth mentioning that 

My computer skill is advanced as well. I have great relationship with other staff .Also, I can

communicate with other people out side office well. I think these are good and strong points for a

successful manager.I am family familiar with this position and also the atmosphere of department.

At the moment the current situation in this department is not good. Time has a main role in

our work, but unfortunately staff do not respect to time and they come late and go soon( this is more

Farsi !!! ).We have dead line for doing and finalizing documents and financial works. Our present

manager does not care about these. With these staff, we can not work in good way.I think that I am

able to manage and organize department well.

I look forward to receiving feedback from you.

Sincerely Yours,

Zahra Farzad 

In letter writing, you have to write in there paragraphs, 1- introduction 2- explaining the situation 3-

your request. In your letter these three paragraphs are somehow combined.

Bandscore : approximately 5.5 ( 1.5 letter + 4 essay )

Comment [PC3]: In the IELTS letter writing it is

not common to write the address on the letter

head.

Comment [PC4]: Or you can say: applying for

being a supervisor… 

Comment [PC5]: Complaining about the other

staff in order to have their position is not something

common in a job application.