1 hawaii foster parent association conference honolulu, hawaii october 14, 2005

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1 Hawaii Foster Parent Hawaii Foster Parent Association Conference Association Conference Honolulu, Hawaii Honolulu, Hawaii October 14, 2005 October 14, 2005

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Page 1: 1 Hawaii Foster Parent Association Conference Honolulu, Hawaii October 14, 2005

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Hawaii Foster Parent Hawaii Foster Parent Association ConferenceAssociation Conference

Honolulu, Hawaii Honolulu, Hawaii October 14, 2005October 14, 2005

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Responding to Responding to the Challenges of the Challenges of Foster ParentingFoster Parenting

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Statistics About Statistics About Hawaii’s Children and Youth in Foster CareHawaii’s Children and Youth in Foster Care

Children/Youth in CareChildren/Youth in Care(as of 09/30/02)(as of 09/30/02)

523,000 children/youth in U.S. Foster Care523,000 children/youth in U.S. Foster Care

2, 762 children/youth in care in Hawaii2, 762 children/youth in care in Hawaii

1, 491 children/youth in family foster care1, 491 children/youth in family foster care

1, 078 children/youth in relative care1, 078 children/youth in relative care

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Statistics About Statistics About Hawaii’s Children and Youth in Foster CareHawaii’s Children and Youth in Foster Care

Age of Children/Youth in CareAge of Children/Youth in Care

8.6% are under age 1 year8.6% are under age 1 year

55.1% are between 1 and 10 years old55.1% are between 1 and 10 years old

36.3% are between 11 and 19+ years old36.3% are between 11 and 19+ years old

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Statistics About Statistics About Hawaii’s Children and Youth in Foster CareHawaii’s Children and Youth in Foster Care

Exits from CareExits from Care

60% of children/youth reunified with family60% of children/youth reunified with family

17% were adopted17% were adopted

11% left to legal guardianship11% left to legal guardianship

12% left to “permanent arrangements”12% left to “permanent arrangements”

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Statistics About Statistics About Hawaii’s Children and Youth in Foster CareHawaii’s Children and Youth in Foster Care

Race/EthnicityRace/Ethnicity

16.2% Asian16.2% Asian

31.6% Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander31.6% Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander

33.5% Two or More races33.5% Two or More races

9.7% White9.7% White

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Official RolesOfficial Rolesof a Foster Parentof a Foster Parent

As a foster parent, you are responsible for As a foster parent, you are responsible for the temporary care and nurturing of a child the temporary care and nurturing of a child or youth who has been placed outside his or youth who has been placed outside his or her own home. During a time of or her own home. During a time of disruption and change, you are giving a disruption and change, you are giving a child a home. child a home.

At the same time, your role includes At the same time, your role includes working with the caseworker and the working with the caseworker and the child’s family so that the child can return child’s family so that the child can return home safely, when appropriate.home safely, when appropriate.

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UnUnofficial Rolesofficial Rolesof a Foster Parentof a Foster Parent

As a foster parent, you will be asked to care, As a foster parent, you will be asked to care, nurture, and love as if they are your own, a child or nurture, and love as if they are your own, a child or youth who has been taken from his or her family. youth who has been taken from his or her family. During a time when they are very upset, scared During a time when they are very upset, scared and angry, you are giving a child your home. and angry, you are giving a child your home.

At the same time, you must be able to work with At the same time, you must be able to work with the caseworker and the child’s family so that after the caseworker and the child’s family so that after all this work the child can return home to this all this work the child can return home to this family, when appropriate.family, when appropriate.

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The Official Role of the Foster Parent is to:The Official Role of the Foster Parent is to:

Provide temporary care for children or Provide temporary care for children or youth, giving them a safe, stable, nurturing youth, giving them a safe, stable, nurturing environment. environment.

Cooperate with the caseworker and the Cooperate with the caseworker and the child or youth’s parents in carrying out a child or youth’s parents in carrying out a permanency plan, including participating in permanency plan, including participating in that plan.that plan.

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The The UnUnofficial Role of the Foster Parent is to:official Role of the Foster Parent is to:

Provide what you have been told is Provide what you have been told is temporary care for sometimes two years or temporary care for sometimes two years or more for a child or teen, providing a safe, more for a child or teen, providing a safe, stable, nurturing environment, maybe for stable, nurturing environment, maybe for the first time in the child’s life. the first time in the child’s life.

Cooperate with the caseworker and the Cooperate with the caseworker and the child’s parents in carrying out a child’s parents in carrying out a permanency plan (that you may have some permanency plan (that you may have some very strong feelings about) and participate very strong feelings about) and participate in that plan by attending meetings and in that plan by attending meetings and conferences.conferences.

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The Official Role of the Foster Parent is to:The Official Role of the Foster Parent is to:

Understand the need for, and goals of, Understand the need for, and goals of, family visits and help out with those visits. family visits and help out with those visits.

Help the young person cope with the Help the young person cope with the separation from his or her home. separation from his or her home.

Provide guidance, discipline, a good Provide guidance, discipline, a good example, and as many positive experiences example, and as many positive experiences as possible. as possible.

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The The UnUnofficial Role of the Foster Parent is to:official Role of the Foster Parent is to:

Deal with family visits and help out with Deal with family visits and help out with those visits, and deal with the aftermath of those visits, and deal with the aftermath of those visits when they go well, and when those visits when they go well, and when they don’t go well. they don’t go well.

Be there when the child is weeping over the Be there when the child is weeping over the separation from his or her home. separation from his or her home.

Be a counselor, a disciplinarian, a role Be a counselor, a disciplinarian, a role model, and provide as many positive model, and provide as many positive experiences as possible.experiences as possible.

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The Official Role of the Foster Parent is to:The Official Role of the Foster Parent is to:

Encourage and supervise school Encourage and supervise school attendance, participate in teacher attendance, participate in teacher conferences, and keep the child’s conferences, and keep the child’s caseworker informed about any caseworker informed about any special educational needs. special educational needs.

Work with the agency in arranging for Work with the agency in arranging for the child/youth’s regular and/or the child/youth’s regular and/or special medical and dental care.special medical and dental care.

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The The UnUnofficial Role of the Foster Parent is to:official Role of the Foster Parent is to:

Make sure the child is up and out of the Make sure the child is up and out of the house every day attending school, receive house every day attending school, receive lots of calls to attend teacher conferences lots of calls to attend teacher conferences to discuss their “issues”, and be willing to to discuss their “issues”, and be willing to call the child’s caseworker frequently and call the child’s caseworker frequently and leave many voice mail messages. leave many voice mail messages.

Attend endless medical and dental Attend endless medical and dental appointments, that are much resisted.appointments, that are much resisted.

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The Official Role of the Foster Parent is to:The Official Role of the Foster Parent is to:

Work with the child/youth on creating a Life Work with the child/youth on creating a Life Book – that can help young people Book – that can help young people understand their past experiences so they understand their past experiences so they can feel better about themselves and be can feel better about themselves and be better prepared for the future. better prepared for the future.

Inform the caseworker promptly about any Inform the caseworker promptly about any problems or concerns so that needs can be problems or concerns so that needs can be met through available services.met through available services.

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The The UnUnOfficial Role of the Foster Parent is to:Official Role of the Foster Parent is to:

Work with children (in your free time) on creating Work with children (in your free time) on creating Life Books – that they may never want to work on – Life Books – that they may never want to work on – so that in 15 years they can understand their past so that in 15 years they can understand their past experiences so they can feel better about experiences so they can feel better about themselves and their families. themselves and their families.

Be willing to make numerous calls to the Be willing to make numerous calls to the caseworker to give a “heads up” about any caseworker to give a “heads up” about any problems or concerns, so that needs can be met problems or concerns, so that needs can be met through sometimes available and sometimes through sometimes available and sometimes unavailable services.unavailable services.

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One of the Toughest JobsOne of the Toughest Jobs

““Foster parents have one of the hardest jobs in the Foster parents have one of the hardest jobs in the world. We ask them to take care of a child that world. We ask them to take care of a child that they did not give birth to, to care for that child as if they did not give birth to, to care for that child as if they were their own child; to love them, and they were their own child; to love them, and nurture them and then to be willing to give that nurture them and then to be willing to give that child up, when a group of professionals decide child up, when a group of professionals decide that the child is ready to go home to a family that that the child is ready to go home to a family that may be very different than the foster parents’ may be very different than the foster parents’ family.family.

We ask a lot of them. We compensate them We ask a lot of them. We compensate them inadequately, they are not treated as though they inadequately, they are not treated as though they are professional staff of the agency, and yet, they are professional staff of the agency, and yet, they are probably the most important persons in the are probably the most important persons in the entire placement that child has.”entire placement that child has.”

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A Resource for Foster ParentsA Resource for Foster Parents

Toolbox No. 2: Expanding the Role of Toolbox No. 2: Expanding the Role of Foster Parents in Achieving Foster Parents in Achieving Permanency by Susan Dougherty.Permanency by Susan Dougherty.

2001. Child Welfare League of 2001. Child Welfare League of America Press. www.CWLA.orgAmerica Press. www.CWLA.org

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Foster Parent as Nurturer and CaregiverFoster Parent as Nurturer and Caregiver

Foster parents should provide the children in their care with daily Foster parents should provide the children in their care with daily adult supervision, emotional support and affection, personal adult supervision, emotional support and affection, personal attention, and structured daily routines and living experiences; and attention, and structured daily routines and living experiences; and should meet the children's clothing, hygiene, and personal needs. should meet the children's clothing, hygiene, and personal needs. (CWLA, 1995, p. 57). (CWLA, 1995, p. 57).

This is the role that most people would identify as the primary, This is the role that most people would identify as the primary, traditional one for foster parents. It is, in effect, the "job traditional one for foster parents. It is, in effect, the "job description" one would expect for substitute, temporary parents.description" one would expect for substitute, temporary parents.

It is the role that many families envision when they begin to think It is the role that many families envision when they begin to think about fostering, and it is the one that most probably feel they can about fostering, and it is the one that most probably feel they can fill on the basis of their past experience, often as parents of fill on the basis of their past experience, often as parents of biological children. There is a certain percentage of foster parents biological children. There is a certain percentage of foster parents without prior parenting experience who nonetheless feel they can without prior parenting experience who nonetheless feel they can fill this role. And there are probably many potential foster parents fill this role. And there are probably many potential foster parents who do not make an initial contact because they don't have that who do not make an initial contact because they don't have that experience and don't know if they can fill the role.experience and don't know if they can fill the role.

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Foster Parent as Child Development Support Foster Parent as Child Development Support The biological parents of children who are developing within The biological parents of children who are developing within

normal guidelines generally manage to provide normal guidelines generally manage to provide developmental support to their children with informal help developmental support to their children with informal help from extended family and friends and periodic advice from from extended family and friends and periodic advice from their pediatricians. their pediatricians.

They may consult books or school personnel with specific They may consult books or school personnel with specific questions, but often are seeking confirmation of their own questions, but often are seeking confirmation of their own practices and techniques. It is only when they are faced with practices and techniques. It is only when they are faced with unusual situations -- a developmental lag, peer problems, unusual situations -- a developmental lag, peer problems, school problems, a death in the family, trouble with drinking, school problems, a death in the family, trouble with drinking, drugs, or the law -- that they seek out experts. drugs, or the law -- that they seek out experts.

Furthermore, whatever problems their children are Furthermore, whatever problems their children are experiencing have been observed over time, and are either experiencing have been observed over time, and are either caught early or can be identified as belonging to a specific caught early or can be identified as belonging to a specific pattern of events.pattern of events.

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Foster Parent as Child Development SupportFoster Parent as Child Development Support

But foster parents are often faced with developmental But foster parents are often faced with developmental challenges that arrive at their doorsteps as full-blown challenges that arrive at their doorsteps as full-blown problems with little or no known history to help with an problems with little or no known history to help with an understanding of how they occurred. They have to be ready understanding of how they occurred. They have to be ready to meet the development needs of the child by:to meet the development needs of the child by:

helping them cope with separation and loss,helping them cope with separation and loss,

facilitating attachment,facilitating attachment,

building self-esteem,building self-esteem,

affording positive guidance,affording positive guidance,

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Foster Parent as Child Development SupportFoster Parent as Child Development Support

promoting cultural identity,promoting cultural identity,

using discipline appropriate to the child's age and stage of using discipline appropriate to the child's age and stage of development,development,

supporting intellectual and education growth, andsupporting intellectual and education growth, and

encouraging and modeling positive social relationships and encouraging and modeling positive social relationships and responsibilities.responsibilities.

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Foster Parent as DisciplinarianFoster Parent as Disciplinarian

All children need guidance and discipline; it is part of the All children need guidance and discipline; it is part of the socialization process. socialization process.

The children who come into foster care have been exposed The children who come into foster care have been exposed to forms of discipline that range from severe physical to forms of discipline that range from severe physical punishment to a total lack of consequences for any actions. punishment to a total lack of consequences for any actions.

Foster parents are expected to incorporate children with all Foster parents are expected to incorporate children with all backgrounds into their families, often with other children backgrounds into their families, often with other children who have been reared with disciplinary techniques of who have been reared with disciplinary techniques of various types. Most agencies have policies prohibiting the various types. Most agencies have policies prohibiting the use of corporal punishment, particularly with children who use of corporal punishment, particularly with children who have been the victims of abuse, yet many foster parents have have been the victims of abuse, yet many foster parents have raised children using spanking and other forms of physical raised children using spanking and other forms of physical punishment as standard disciplinary tools. punishment as standard disciplinary tools.

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Foster Parent as DisciplinarianFoster Parent as Disciplinarian

So not only do foster parents have to deal with behaviors So not only do foster parents have to deal with behaviors that may be especially disruptive and challenging, but they that may be especially disruptive and challenging, but they may have to treat foster children differently than biological may have to treat foster children differently than biological children because of agency regulations.children because of agency regulations.

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Foster Parent as Supporter and Advocate in School IssuesFoster Parent as Supporter and Advocate in School Issues

For school-aged children, foster parents fill the For school-aged children, foster parents fill the role of meeting educational needs on a day-to-day role of meeting educational needs on a day-to-day basis, although ideally birth parents will also be basis, although ideally birth parents will also be involved in school planning, contact with involved in school planning, contact with educators, and support. educators, and support.

Foster parents are the ones who provide space, Foster parents are the ones who provide space, tools, and help for homework. They are often the tools, and help for homework. They are often the ones who meet with teachers and guidance ones who meet with teachers and guidance counselors regarding testing, individualized counselors regarding testing, individualized educational plans, special support, and discipline educational plans, special support, and discipline for school-related behaviors. for school-related behaviors.

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Foster Parent as Supporter and Advocate in School IssuesFoster Parent as Supporter and Advocate in School Issues

Due to developmental delays, lack of support from Due to developmental delays, lack of support from birth families, and previous poor experiences with birth families, and previous poor experiences with school, these activities may be more complicated school, these activities may be more complicated than foster parents have experienced with birth than foster parents have experienced with birth children. children.

Foster parents may find that they have to be Foster parents may find that they have to be persistent advocates in order to obtain an persistent advocates in order to obtain an appropriate level of support for foster children in appropriate level of support for foster children in their schools. their schools.

To complicate this issue, some foster parents have To complicate this issue, some foster parents have limited experience working with the educational limited experience working with the educational system, or may even have a negative view of system, or may even have a negative view of schools and educators from their own or their schools and educators from their own or their children's school days.children's school days.

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Foster Parent as Recruiter, Trainer, and Mentor to New Foster Foster Parent as Recruiter, Trainer, and Mentor to New Foster ParentsParents

Media coverage of the problems children bring with them Media coverage of the problems children bring with them into foster care has made the general public aware of the into foster care has made the general public aware of the difficulties of fostering and has probably frightened many difficulties of fostering and has probably frightened many people away from considering it for their families. people away from considering it for their families.

One way to counter these negative images of fostering is to One way to counter these negative images of fostering is to employ positive messages directly from those who have employ positive messages directly from those who have achieved a level of satisfaction -- successful foster parents. achieved a level of satisfaction -- successful foster parents. These are people who can present a positive yet realistic These are people who can present a positive yet realistic view of the rewards as well as the challenges of fostering. view of the rewards as well as the challenges of fostering.

Many experienced foster parents would be happy to be Many experienced foster parents would be happy to be included in recruiting, training, and acting as mentors to new included in recruiting, training, and acting as mentors to new families.families.

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Foster Parent as Recruiter, Trainer, and Mentor to New Foster Foster Parent as Recruiter, Trainer, and Mentor to New Foster ParentsParents

Foster Parents Speak:Foster Parents Speak:

Crossing Bridges & Fostering ChangeCrossing Bridges & Fostering Change

An Award Winning Training and Recruitment VideoAn Award Winning Training and Recruitment VideoProduced by the NYS Citizens' Coalition for Children & Produced by the NYS Citizens' Coalition for Children & PhotoSynthesis Productions - http://www.nysccc.orgPhotoSynthesis Productions - http://www.nysccc.org

A 20 minute video that explores foster parenting today through the A 20 minute video that explores foster parenting today through the experiences and insights of foster families. Foster parents speak experiences and insights of foster families. Foster parents speak candidly about the challenges in developing and nurturing shared candidly about the challenges in developing and nurturing shared parenting relationships with birth families and professionals to parenting relationships with birth families and professionals to benefit the children in their care.  They share real life techniques benefit the children in their care.  They share real life techniques and strategies for improving communication and cooperation to and strategies for improving communication and cooperation to create partnerships that support children in the foster care system.create partnerships that support children in the foster care system.

$50.00$50.00

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Foster Parent as Mentor to Birth ParentsFoster Parent as Mentor to Birth Parents

Perhaps the biggest change in the role of foster parents Perhaps the biggest change in the role of foster parents has been the movement toward having foster parents has been the movement toward having foster parents provide direct services to birth families in the form of provide direct services to birth families in the form of mentoring, modeling, and friendship. mentoring, modeling, and friendship.

Permanency planning professionals have begun to see Permanency planning professionals have begun to see the value of having people who display good parenting the value of having people who display good parenting skills share their expertise with parents who need to skills share their expertise with parents who need to make changes in order to secure the return of their make changes in order to secure the return of their children. children.

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Foster Parent as Mentor to Birth ParentsFoster Parent as Mentor to Birth Parents

Who better to share effective parenting Who better to share effective parenting techniques than the people who are currently techniques than the people who are currently employing them with one's children? employing them with one's children?

Yet asking them to offer direct help to the Yet asking them to offer direct help to the people who abused or neglected the children people who abused or neglected the children for whom foster parents are caring can be a for whom foster parents are caring can be a delicate matter.delicate matter.

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Foster Parent as Facilitator: Supporter of Foster Parent as Facilitator: Supporter of

Relationship Between Child and Child's ParentsRelationship Between Child and Child's Parents Not every foster family will have a personal Not every foster family will have a personal

relationship with each birth family. relationship with each birth family.

However, there must always be some level of However, there must always be some level of positive support of the child's relationship with positive support of the child's relationship with his or her parents. his or her parents.

Foster families need to understand the Foster families need to understand the importance of the parent-child bond, even when importance of the parent-child bond, even when the parent has been abusive or neglecting or the parent has been abusive or neglecting or the parent is no longer physically a part of the the parent is no longer physically a part of the child's life.child's life.

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Foster Parent as Facilitator: Supporter of Foster Parent as Facilitator: Supporter of

Relationship Between Child and Child's ParentsRelationship Between Child and Child's Parents One technique for maintaining family One technique for maintaining family

connections is the lifebook. connections is the lifebook.

Lifebooks began in adoptions practice as a way Lifebooks began in adoptions practice as a way to bridge the gap between birth and adoptive to bridge the gap between birth and adoptive families. The essence of the lifebook is the families. The essence of the lifebook is the story of the child's life, told in words, pictures, story of the child's life, told in words, pictures, and documents. It allows the child to be able to and documents. It allows the child to be able to review the important people and events in his or review the important people and events in his or her life, understand connections with the her life, understand connections with the people who loved and cared for him or her, and people who loved and cared for him or her, and place them in an overall context of chronology place them in an overall context of chronology and emotional wholeness. and emotional wholeness.

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Foster Parent as Potential Adoptive ParentFoster Parent as Potential Adoptive Parent

Agencies have become more willing to consider foster Agencies have become more willing to consider foster parents for adoption. However, there can often be parents for adoption. However, there can often be confusion on the part of the foster family about the confusion on the part of the foster family about the likelihood of that occurring. likelihood of that occurring.

In addition, the current movement toward concurrent In addition, the current movement toward concurrent planning allows the agency to pursue two possible planning allows the agency to pursue two possible goals at the same time -- reunification if possible, goals at the same time -- reunification if possible, termination of parental rights and adoption if not. termination of parental rights and adoption if not.

This may place foster parents in an even more difficult This may place foster parents in an even more difficult position as they form attachments with children they position as they form attachments with children they want to adopt but are expected to also support efforts want to adopt but are expected to also support efforts toward reunification with the child's birth family.toward reunification with the child's birth family.

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Foster Parent as Team MemberFoster Parent as Team Member The traditional view of foster parents places value on The traditional view of foster parents places value on

parenting, but on little else. It was not uncommon for parenting, but on little else. It was not uncommon for agencies to drop children off at all hours and with little agencies to drop children off at all hours and with little notice, to remove them just as abruptly, and to provide notice, to remove them just as abruptly, and to provide foster parents with little or no input into planning for the foster parents with little or no input into planning for the child. Families were expected to accept children of all child. Families were expected to accept children of all ages and needs, regardless of the family's ability to ages and needs, regardless of the family's ability to care for them. care for them.

The view of foster families by child welfare The view of foster families by child welfare professionals has evolved, at least in theory, to that of professionals has evolved, at least in theory, to that of accepting foster parents as members of the accepting foster parents as members of the permanency planning team. Unfortunately, many permanency planning team. Unfortunately, many agencies pay lip service to the team concept, but agencies pay lip service to the team concept, but continue to treat foster parents as less valuable and continue to treat foster parents as less valuable and less professional than staff members. less professional than staff members.

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Foster Parent as Team MemberFoster Parent as Team Member

Foster parents are truly members of the Foster parents are truly members of the permanency planning team when their permanency planning team when their contributions in the areas of assessment, contributions in the areas of assessment, service planning, and decision making are service planning, and decision making are valued by all members of the team. valued by all members of the team.

In addition, they should be provided with In addition, they should be provided with opportunities to grow and learn through opportunities to grow and learn through preservice and inservice training and preservice and inservice training and attendance at professional conferences.attendance at professional conferences.

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Credo OneCredo One

Nothing prepares you for Nothing prepares you for falling in love with a foster falling in love with a foster

child . . .child . . .

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Credo TwoCredo Two

Real love is given when Real love is given when nothing is expected in nothing is expected in

return . . return . .

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Gerald P. Mallon, DSWGerald P. Mallon, DSWProfessor and Executive DirectorProfessor and Executive Director

National Resource Center for Family-CenteredNational Resource Center for Family-CenteredPractice and Permanency Planning at thePractice and Permanency Planning at the

Hunter College School of Social WorkHunter College School of Social WorkA Service of the Children’s Bureau/ACF-DHHSA Service of the Children’s Bureau/ACF-DHHS

129 East 79th Street129 East 79th StreetNew York, New York 10021New York, New York 10021

(212) 452-7043/direct; (212) 452-7475/fax(212) 452-7043/direct; (212) 452-7475/faxEmail –[email protected][email protected]

Website – Website – www.nrcfcpp.org-www.nrcfcpp.org-

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NRCFCPPP NRCFCPPP Can Provide Assistance:Can Provide Assistance:

Training, by top consultantsTraining, by top consultants Technical Assistance with collaboration from other NRCs Technical Assistance with collaboration from other NRCsInformation Dissemination, print, web, Free Information on Information Dissemination, print, web, Free Information on our Website; Teleconferences, Webcasts, Curriculums in our Website; Teleconferences, Webcasts, Curriculums in

English and Spanish; Tools/Guidelines, PowerpointsEnglish and Spanish; Tools/Guidelines, Powerpoints

www.nrcfcpp.orgwww.nrcfcpp.org