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Raising Resilient Children

Conducted by[Practitioner Name]

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Today’s Agenda

• Overview of Triple P • Highlights from Seminars 1 & 2• Emotional resilience in children• Building blocks for success • Take home messages• Question time

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Overview of Triple P

• Triple P = Positive Parenting Program• Developed in Australia• 30 years of research• Used in 22 countries• Local program sponsored by First 5

Santa Cruz County

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Triple P Services

• Seminars: General parenting information– The Power of Positive Parenting– Raising Confident, Competent Children– Raising Resilient Children

• Workshops: Brief help with specific and common parenting issues

• Groups: Brief (4 sessions) or In-depth (8 sessions)

• One on One Consultations : Brief (1-4 sessions) or In-depth (10 sessions)

• Additional Triple P Support

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Seminar 1: 5 Principles

1. Creating a safe, interesting environment

2. Having a positive learning environment

3. Using assertive discipline

4. Having realistic expectations

5. Taking care of yourself

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Seminar 2: Building blocks

Showing respect to

others Being

considerate Having good

communication and social skills

Having healthy self-esteem

Becoming a good problem

solver Becoming

independent

Raising confident, competent children

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Emotional resilience

Emotional resilience is the ability to:• recognize and accept feelings • express feelings in appropriate ways • face and resolve difficult situations • cope with stressful or upsetting

situations

These abilities are related to children’s development

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Importance of resilience

• Children need to learn to cope with everyday feelings and difficult situations

• Some children experience very stressful life events

• Ability to cope with feelings is related to– social skills and relationships– tolerance and compassion– coping with life experiences– prevention of emotional problems

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Emotionally resilient children are:• caring and socially skilled• empathic and sensitive • able to manage their feelings• able to cope with stress or unpleasant

experiences • less likely to resort to unhelpful ways of

coping

Benefits for children

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Building blocks

Recognising and accepting

feelings

Expressing feelings

appropriately

Building a positive outlook

Developing coping skills

Dealing with negative feelings

Dealing with stressful life

events

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Building block 1Recognizing and accepting feelings

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Developmental changes

Children gradually:• learn to recognize and understand their

emotions and those of others• become aware of different feelings• learn the words to describe their feelings• develop more complex feelings

These changes are related to their language, thinking andexperiences

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What parents can do

• Accept that ups and downs are normal• Talk about feelings • Be emotionally expressive• Share feelings appropriately• Help your child recognize and name

emotions• Encourage your child to be emotionally

expressive

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Building block 2Expressing feelings appropriately

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Expressing emotions

• What emotional expression is OK– words– expressions– actions

• When to express feelings– to whom– how often– how much

• What emotional expression is not OK • Family and cultural expectations

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Traps for parents

• Talking too much about own feelings• Dwelling on upsets• Showing too much interest in feelings• Being overly sympathetic or encouraging

avoidance• Over-reacting to minor upsetting events• Not giving enough attention to

other behavior

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Talking about feelings

• Ask how your child feels• Listen to what they say• Summarize what they say • Avoid telling your child how they should

feel• Read stories and talk about the

characters’ feelings • Help your child recognize feelings in

others

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Encouraging children

• Give your child positive attention for expressing feelings in appropriate ways– positive feelings– negative feelings

• Congratulate your child for managing difficult situations

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Dealing with problems

• Use consistent discipline – tell your child to stop– acknowledge their feelings – give a brief explanation– tell your child what to do instead– use back up consequences if needed

• Model better ways of expressing feelings

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Building block 3

Building a positive outlook

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A positive outlook

Having a positive outlook can involve:• optimistic thinking• curiosity and exploration• contentment

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Encouraging optimism

• Model being optimistic• Encourage goals• Encourage initiative and creativity• Encourage activities where your child

will experience success• Show how your child has control over

events• Point out what your child does well • Talk about the ‘good side’

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Encouraging curiosity

• Encourage your child to decide what to do

• Let your child explore and show your interest

• Be available when your child wants to show you something

• Ask questions and make comments • Help your child learn how to find more

information

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Encouraging contentment

• Model being appreciative and grateful • Ask about the day’s highlights • Have shared family experiences • Discuss other people’s point of view• Discuss accepting things that can’t be

changed • Foster involvement in meaningful

activities• Encourage your child to slow down

and take in their world

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Building block 4Developing coping skills

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Coping skills

• Problem solving • Positive self-talk• Talking back to unhelpful thoughts• Relaxing mentally and physically• Asking for help and support

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Helping problem solving

• Set a good example• Play games that promote thinking • Encourage your child to find answers• Prompt your child to work at solving

problems• Congratulate your child when they

solve a problem on their own• Involve your child in family problem

solving

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Problem solving steps

• Define the problem• Come up with solutions• Evaluate the options• Decide on the best solution• Put the plan into action• Review how it worked and revise the

plan if necessary

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Building positive self-talk

• Ask your child to evaluate their own achievements

• Explain how thinking different ways affects how you feel

• Prompt your child to think about what others might think or feel

• Point out helpful and unhelpful thinking • Model using positive self-talk to

cope with stress

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Helping children relax

• Provide a good model of how to manage stress

• Help children find ways to relax that work for them

• Relaxation strategies include:– taking slow, deep breaths– relaxing their muscles– listening to a relaxation tape or calming

music

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Looking for support

• Discuss how everyone needs to talk • Talk about how you get support from

others • Help children find someone to talk to:

– a close family member– a trusted friend– a school teacher – a counsellor

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Building block 5Dealing with negative feelings

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Negative emotions

• All children have negative emotions• Parents cannot completely protect

children from these feelings • Many emotions pass quickly • Parents can calmly assist and prompt

problem solving • Parents can help children learn to

resolve negative feelings on their own

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Managing emotions

• Notice when your child is upset• Ask what is wrong and listen • Summarize what you have heard • Acknowledge their feelings• Ask what they want to do• Ask how you can help• Prompt problem solving• If upset continues, suggest ‘cooling off’• Stay calm yourself• Make a time to talk later

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Preparing for emotions

Help your child learn to cope on their own, for example, with anxiety

• Set a good example• Talk about anxious feelings• Teach your child coping strategies• Encourage facing fears gradually• Stay calm• Prompt coping strategies• Praise your child’s efforts• Talk about dangerous situations

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Building block 6Dealing with stressful events

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Stressful life events

• Change • Problems with peers • Major disappointment • Unpleasant experiences • Loss • Marital separation or divorce• Joining a new family• Trauma or serious illness • Natural disasters • Terrifying experiences

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Coping with life events

• Allow your child to be upset• Ask what happened• Say something positive• Reassure your child where appropriate• Don’t feel you have to solve the problem• Suggest something to cheer your child up• Check later • Encourage use of coping skills• Seek advice if the problem

continues

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• Explain why the move is necessary• Familiarize your child with the new

situation • Talk about the advantages• Get your child involved• Maintain routines as much as possible • Help your child keep in touch with

friends

Example: moving house

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Example: dealing with loss

• Consider your child’s developmental level • Reassure your child where appropriate • Encourage appropriate expression of

feelings• Provide information • Maintain routines as much as possible • Arrange a child carer if the loss affects you• Talk about feelings, coping,

memories

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Take home messages

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Take home messages

• The foundations for emotional resilience are laid in early childhood

• Emotional skills are important for happiness, wellbeing and success in life

• Children learn a lot about managing their emotions from parents

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Take home messages

Parents can help children learn to:• recognize and accept feelings• express feelings in appropriate ways• develop a positive outlook and coping

skills• deal with negative feelings and

stressful life events

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Tip Sheet

• Review it with your partner or by yourself.

• Review it this week!

• Choose one strategy you learned today to try at home.

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Next Steps

• Attend the next seminar [insert date]

• Contact [insert name] for more services [insert info]

• Contact First 5 Santa Cruz County for more services (831) 465-2217 or sbluford@first5scc.org or visit www.first5scc.org

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Stay Connected

“Like” us on Facebook!

www.facebook.com/triplepscc

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Question time

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Positive Parenting…Small changes,Big differences