100 ways to improve your life ebook second edition
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Copyright © 2010 - 2016 Dragos Roua
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or
electronic process, or in the form of a phonographicrecording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system,
transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or
private use—other than for “fair use” as brief
quotations embodied in articles and reviews—without
prior written permission of the author.
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100 waysto live
A BETTER
LIFE
Drago! Rou"
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Foreword
The first edition of this book didn’t have aforeword. I didn’t feel the need for it, at thetime. Just putting out the content was a bigenough challenge (and satisfaction, why hiding
this?). But now I feel the need to give a fewinformation about how this book came to lifeand how you should read it.
The book you’re reading is based on one of themost viral posts on my blog, 100 Ways To Live ABetter Life. The post itself was visited for more
than half a million people so far.
A year after being published it was alsotranslated into Korean and it sold a decent 6000copies on the printed books market, without anymarketing whatsoever, and without my physicalpresence there. I’m telling you this not to brag,
but to show you that you’re in good company.People seem to love this.
You should read this book one page per day. Notmore. Just one page. And then try to meditate,during the day, at what you’ve read. Do this for100 days in a row.
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1. Accept Your Mistakes
You’re human. We, humans, are making
mistakes. Accept what you did wrong and try todo better next time. No need to punish yourselfforever. In fact, accepting your mistakes is theonly way to make them disappear.
If you don’t accept your mistakes, theonly thing you’ll create will be just continuous
guilt. Yes, you did wrong. But you’re not theonly one. And you’re not powerless: now thatyou know you did wrong, you can make thingsfor better.
They say "Good judgment comes fromexperience, and experience comes from bad
judgment.” And they say that for a reason.Mistakes are playing a very important role in ourlives: they prove our drive to manifest ourintentions.
You can’t really do something wrong ifyou don’t try to do something in the first place.
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2. Accept Your FriendsMistakes
Maybe you got hurt by somebody.
Happens. Just accept it and deal with it. Peopleare making mistakes and if you can accept thatfor yourself, accept it for your friends too. Inthe end, all you need from them is their love.
We tend to blend people with theiractions, which is fundamentally wrong. People
are inherently good, it’s their actions that canbe sometimes strange. If you can understandthat, you’ll find it much easier to accept theirmistakes too.
Imagine you are the one who have made amistake. How would you like them to react?
Holding a grudge against you, or accepting,forgiving and moving on? They expect the samebehavior form you. Live and let live.
Imagine how much time you’ll win onyour side just by accepting they can be wrong
sometimes.
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3. Create A New Habit
We’re doing a lot of stuff on autopilot.Try to integrate in this category new things youwant to attract into your life. Habits arepowerful. Harness their energy for your owngood. Start by creating a habit in 15 days.
The more you do something you like, themore you like doing it. Pick some things you likedoing, things that will make you feel better oreven be better, and start to incorporate theminto habits.
The subtle advantage of creating a habitfor something you like is that you will be able tofree a lot of energy for experimenting otherthings. Which will translate into more personalpower and a stronger will.
Create the habit to be happy, forstarters, that will surely make a big change.
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4. Build Self Discipline
Don’t wait for other people to imposediscipline on you. Start early. Create your owndiscipline. Although it sounds a little bit harsh,self discipline is a facilitator for many things inyour life. It’s hard to get but great to have.
In my experience, all you need forcreating self-discipline is: clear goals,incentives, progress assessment and a will toavoid interruptions. The last one being the mostdifficult, of course.
But if you manage to create clear goals,
to place at the end of them the appropriateincentive and to constantly assess what you’vebeen doing, creating self-discipline will be onlya matter of time. A very short time.
In fact, self-discipline is the ability to dothe exact amount of what you want from what
you dreamed of, while still having a life.
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5. Make New Friends
Reach out. Don’t be afraid. Establish newcontacts. The worst thing that may happen to
you is to be rejected. Well, if that’s the case,move on. The reward of having true, long-lastingfriendship is worth all the potential rejection.
Most of the time, the reason for nothaving friends is an unconscious bad imageabout ourselves. We don’t reach out because wefeel we don’t deserve it. Guess what: the realityobeys our thoughts and place us outside the reallife.
Isolation is not good for you. We aredesigned to be social animals, to exist and
support existence in a larger structure.Whenever you isolate, you’re burning somebridges behind. At some point you’ll becomejust a lonely island.
You may decide you have enough moneyat some point, but you can never have enough
friends.
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6. Get A New Job
Shaking your comfort zone will oftencreate a lot of value in your life. If you’re notsatisfied with your job, just get a new one. Thepitfall of not having money for a limited periodof time is temporary, get over it.
Many people are afraid of switching jobsbecause all the responsibility associated withthe current one: your expertise, your network,maybe a mortgage and other loans. All of theseare assets, not liabilities.
You can get a new job because all of
these. You can expand your expertise, enlargeyour network and pay your mortgage faster.Staying on a same level for too long will not onlymake you lose opportunities, but it will alsobore you to death.
Imagine your new job like a new,
wonderful trip. In fact, this is exactly what itis.
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7. Start A New Diet
You are, in a vast proportion, what youeat. Trying a new diet would often be the onlyneeded change for a dramatic boost of yourhealth and energy. Don’t have to be raw food, oreven vegetarian, whatever works for you.
I’ve been a raw vegan for 9 and a halfmonths and I felt incredibly well. I’m not anevangelist of it, though. We’re all different andwhat works for me may not work identically foryou. But what I’ve learned was that a simplediet can impact your life tremendously.
Starting a new diet is deeply related tothe energy sources you are connected to. On thephysical plane, you acquire a vast part of yourenergy by eating. Changing the quality of yourfood, as simple and dumb as it may seem, canhave a huge impact on your life.
Remember, you are, in a vast proportion,what you eat.
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8. Keep A Journal
Write down you feelings, your ideas, your
goals, your activity. Journaling is by far one ofthe most useful things I’ve done to change mylife for the best. It works in such a silent, yeteffective way. All you need is pen and paper.
The first use for it is therapeutical andthis is why I started too: just wrote down myfrustrations, unloaded my anger and complaints.And it does a wonderful job at cleaning youremotional system: you can write anything inyour journal.
But it goes even further: once you got
over the therapeutical part of journaling, youcan use it as a witness for your dreams. Make itthe seed of your desired reality. Whatever youwrite there, might become real at some point.
Write down your reality in your journal first, and read it every day.
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9. Create And Keep A MorningPhrase
Whatever you say to yourself in themorning, it will most likely come true during theday. Why not taking advantage of it? Create asimple morning phrase and say it to yourself firstthing in the morning. Is that simple.
But there’s a trick here: you have to make
your phrase realistic, empowering and easy toremember. If you just set up yourself tounrealistic things in the morning, the day willfollow. A morning phrase should be practical andplausible.
It should also be simple enough to recall
at any given time during the day. Try make it thefirst thing you read in the morning, until youlearn it by heart. Then pick another one andthen another one.
A morning phrase will actually make you
write the story of your life, word by word.
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10. Travel Far Away From Your
Home
Traveling long distance is incredibly
rewarding. It’s so exciting and filled withunpredictable events. I only recently started totravel really far away from my home, but I dowonder how could I ever made it until nowwithout this.
I flew around the world by plane in two
weeks. That alone gave me an incredible feelingof spatiality. Now I’ve been around the worldand for that, the world is not particularlysmaller, but far more manageable than Ithought.
I also spent time in very different
cultures, like Japan or Thailand. The culturalshock made me realize there’s so much to bediscovered in this world, there’s so much to beseen and experienced.
At a very symbolic level, your life is only
a journey. Make it beautiful.
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11. Learn To Take Risks
Your life may be so boring and fade
because… err, you made it like this? When wasthe last time your tried something reallydifficult? When was the last time you challengedthe odds doing something risky? Do it now.
The ability to take risks is a fundamentalingredient of your life. We often associate thereward of a certain action by the risk involved.If there’s no risk, we usually don’t value theresult either. We end up living a life withoutvalue.
Taking risks is not easy. It’s not a game
and it should not be treated like this. You canlose some things, but you can also win otherthings. Exercising your risking capacities is oneof the most rewarding, yet consuming, I admit,ways of enriching your life.
No risk it, no biscuit, they say, and they
say that for a good reason.
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12. Start Your Own Business
Be your own boss. Work your own hours. Iknow, it sounds so shallow, for you, who hate
your job but still have to stay there because ofthat mortgage. Well, unless you make the firststep, nothing is going to change. That’s for sure.
When I started my own business, I did itmainly out of curiosity. Money wasn’t a keyingredient in my decision. I was making a decentliving as an employee. But I was curious how anot so decent life would look like. A better life,that is.
There are risks involved, that’s for sure.But the reward is fantastic. It’s not the freedom
you get. It’s not the money, although it doescount. It’s the ability to control the throughputof your generated value. You can give as muchas you want.
Starting your own business means givingmore of what you can offer and receive more of
what you can get.
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13. Change Your Work Space
Clean up your desk. Re-arrange furniture.Add some color to that space. Make the place
where you work really enjoyable. So enjoyablethat work there won’t be perceived as workanymore. It will be something you love to do.
I love to change my workspace every nowand then. Because I consider that workspace tobe a mirror of my thoughts. Imagine how wouldyou feel if you would think the same thoughtsday in and day out. They have a name for that:being crazy.
Small changes in the workspace aroundyou can have a huge impact in your life. Not
only you can become more productive, so tospeak, but you will feel that every day isunfolding in a different way.
Changing your workspace around should give you the feeling that work is in fact just adisguised holiday. Until the real one starts, of
course.
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14. Learn A New Language
Challenge your mind. Constantly. If you’regoing to do number 10, you’re going to learn
some new languages too. From my experience,learning a new language is a fantastic mindopener. Sometimes you don’t even have totravel there.
And if we’re talking about languages,remember that we do live in an information era.Everything is a language. Try learning simplethings related to this like HTML. Or, evensimpler, try to learn the meaning of emoticons ina chat.
Back to real languages, every time you
describe reality in a new way, it will expand. So,every time you will name the same thing indifferent languages, you will actually re-createthat thing. This is why I consider polyglots to bevery rich people.
Try describing the part in your life you
want to grow in different languages. You’ll besurprised by the results.
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15. Find Reasons To Agree
Rather than disagree. We have this
mindset of competition which makes constantlyarguing over things. Well, stop that. You don’thave to force yourself into agreement, if it’s notthe case, just trying to find some reasons will beenough.
There’s also another subtle implication ofthis approach: whenever you force yourself tosee the resolution of a situation, rather than itspotential conflict, you help the resolutionmanifest and throw away the conflict. Ithappens more often than you think.
Changing your approach to conflictualsituation has a great growth potential becausewe do live in a conflicted world. And the mostconstant friction in this world is the onebetween old and new.
Finding reasons to agree rather than
disagree will feed harmony and starve worthlessconflict.
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16. Pay Yourself First
You can’t give something if you don’thave it. You can’t spread light onto others if you
don’t have light from within. You can’t givewealth to others if you don’t have it for yourselffirst. Make yourself a service and pay yourselffirst.
I’m all in for altruism but for a real,sustainable altruism. I’m not buying into peoplewho can’t take care of themselves but at thesame time they’re preaching giving as a religion.If you want to give something, you have to haveit first.
Paying yourself first is another way of
saying that you have to make more than youneed prior to giving to others. Depriving yourselffor feeding others won’t solve the problem.Have more love, have more money, morehappiness, then start giving away.
Pay yourself first in order to have more
for others. Then giving will just come innaturally.
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17. Wake Up Early
This is not a habit, this is a lifestyle.Don’t just wake up early without a purpose. Beearly. Be there before others. Look for
opportunities and embrace them. Waking upearly means keeping your eye open to everyavailable opportunity.
This is not a contest: who is waking upearlier than the other. This is a new perspective:being there before any other person will. Beingfirst at your own business office before youremployees. Creating a certain type of valuebefore somebody else does it.
Many people think that just by waking upearly they’ll be better. That’s not true. Waking
up early without a clear purpose will just clearsome more time for procrastination. First, findout what you want to do with your life, thansqueeze every second of time doing it.
Waking up early means in fact creatingyour day, instead of taking it for granted.
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18. Train Your Focus
Your focus is in fact your reality. Use itwisely. Train it constantly for it will enhanceyour reality in ways you never imagined. Keep
your focus sharp as a razor blade and beprepared to experience life in fantastic shapesand colors.
Let’s make this little exercise: take youreyes out of the book and look at the wall infront of you. Now, which is part of your reality?The book, or your wall? You may think it’s thebook, but it isn’t: since your focus changed, allyou have in your reality now is the wall in frontof you.
It’s the same in all areas of your life. If
you focus on your problems, even if you thinkyou have their solution, you will just make themgrow. It’s like looking at the wall while ignoringwhat you have in your hands. The problems willbecome more real than their solutions.
Your focus is creating your reality:
whatever you focus on it will grow.
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19. Start A Blog
On whatever topic you want. Not only itwill give you the opportunity to createsomething new and valuable but it will alsobring new people into your life. Blogging is far
more than a hype, is a personal developmenttool. A very good one.
Many people think a blog is just aninstrument for making money. To some extent, itis. But it is also much more than that. A blog willstructure information and will allow you toexpress it in a different way and to a wideraudience.
In many ways, a blog can become yourpersonal brand. And if you don’t know what apersonal brand is, maybe it’s time to find out: a
personal brand is an immaterial version of you,working for yourself even when you’re notthere. And a blog can help you create thatversion of you faster than any other tool.
Maybe you think your life is not goodenough to blog about it. Well, you’ll never find
out until you really try.
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20. Write An Ebook
You may think you don’t have a talent,but that’s completely wrong. And the easiestway to prove it wrong is to start writing anebook. Any ebook. You pick the topic. It might
be something you know or want to learn about.Write it. It’s fun.
An ebook is something different than ablog. It’s like a story on something you reallyknow. Maybe your only talent is cooking. By allmeans, write a book about cooking. There arealso 1 other million books on cooking? So what?
There is no end to human creativity andyour presence on this earth is the biggest proof.You’re unique, You’re special. Even if you thinkyou don’t have anything to offer, you have. Just
think at the one thing you know to do best andstart writing about it, The rest will follow.
An ebook is a very easy way to let other people know you exist and have something tooffer. Something as unique as you.
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21. Be Better, Not Perfect
Striving too much for perfection will ruinyour life. It will wipe out all those little
imperfections which are making you… human.Being better, on the other side, is rewarding.Look back at the yesterday you and just say: I’mbetter!
Perfection is death camouflaged inbeauty. You can’t really be perfect and still bealive. Your life is made out of all those littlelimitations, all those spots on your immaculatecanvas. Eliminating them will make you perfectbut it will take life out of you.
On the other hand, striving to be better
stems from accepting your limitations. Fromacknowledging your imperfection. Most of thetime, striving to be perfect will kill any actionyou may take, just by knowing it’s impossible tobe perfect.
Just by accepting that you are not
perfect, only improvable, your life will changedramatically. For the better.
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22. Stop Self Sabotage
You’ll be surprised by how much of aburden you can be to yourself. You are literallyself sabotaging. Most of the time, unconsciously.
If you have a long history of failure behind, thatcould mean you’ve become your worst enemy.Stop it.
Easier said than done, I agree. Selfsabotaging is really difficult to identify in one’sbehavior. I know it was difficult to identify in mybehavior. I didn’t even know I was self-sabotaging myself until I was able to see, aftermany years, some patterns.
For me, it was fear of success. I was soafraid of being successful that I was
unconsciously sabotaging myself For you, it maybe anything else. But it’s happening more oftenthan you think. Make peace with the fact thatyou may be your worse enemy and after that,make peace with this enemy.
Whenever you do something wrong in a
context you’re usually doing great, you’reunconsciously self sabotaging.
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23. Find Reasons To Love YourLife
Maybe life wasn’t fair with you. Yes, I
know, I’ve been there: life is never fair. But it’sfantastic. It’s unique, unrepeatable, one of akind, beautiful, simple, challenging, sweet,hard… Just take a step back and find reasons tolove your life.
Love it for your friends or for your
enemies, love it for the beautiful mornings andwonderful sunsets, for your beloved ones and forthe ones you forgot, for all the gifts you madeand for all the gifts you are yet to receive.
Love your life for the colors around you,for the beautiful sounds of music, for the
meaningful silence and for everything you haveto share with others. Love your life for all thestories you haven’t yet heard or told.
Love your life for every single second, asthis is all you have, only this infinite second.
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24. Try Something New
Maybe you’re sad because you’re bored.Have you ever thought about that? Just reachout and try something completely new. Go for a
challenge, learn a new sport, pick a differentrestaurant or go for a comedy movie (if you’rethe drama type). Just try it.
Trying something new has also a moredeeper meaning: consuming your internalresources in order to force you go out and findsome more. If you don’t try something new, youembrace a mindset of conservation. Andconservation is just another word for death.
Yes, it requires some effort to get out ofyour comfort zone. Yes, it involves a risk: you
may not like that movie or that new restaurant.But if you carefully analyze yourself, you’ll besurprised to see that the new you feels betteroverall than the old one, who didn’t take thechallenge.
Trying something new is one of the
cheapest indulgences you can afford every oncein a while.
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25. Avoid Fighting
Fighting is the biggest energy leak of your
being. Trying to prove another guy wrong is soagainst your true nature. You’re here toacknowledge life’s wonders, not to proveanybody’s wrong. They’re not wrong, just havedifferent opinions. And that’s part of life.
I was so judgmental when I was younger.Anytime I saw something wrong I had to “standup” for it. Which most of the time lead to afight. I also took pride in proving others wrong.“I was right, you know!” What a huge, worthlessand ridiculous waste of time...
Fighting is the best food for your ego. Youknow, that part of you which can be hurt andhumiliated. The more you grow your ego, themore you’ll experience hurt, humiliation,fighting and sorrow.
Just let go. Maybe you’re right. It’s more
than enough that you know it in your heart.
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26. Stop Wasting Your Power
Are you doing something that you thinkyou shouldn’t be doing right now? Well, that’s
wasted power. That’s meaningless stuffpromoted to the honor of being a part of yourlife. How long are you going to approve this?Why wasting power?
The worst thing that can happen to you isto realize that you have unlimited power. Thatthere is nothing outside you and everything isinside, waiting to blossom. The worst thing is torealize that you’re here to create your own life.Why?
Because you’ll have to face some terrible
questions, like: what is my life purpose? What ifI screw up? Who am I? Do I have to acceptanything? If you don’t accept the fact that youhave unlimited power, that power will not vanishaway.
It will still be there, but it just won’t be
used by you. The bad news is that somebodyelse is going to use it.
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27. Learn To Ignore
I think they should be teaching this one in
schools. We’re focused on so many topics andthink we have to do so much stuff, that our lifeis literally clogged with things. It’s good to dostuff, but learning to ignore it is much better.
Learning to ignore is the first step ingrowing your focus power. Not to mention thatallowing yourself to ignore things you don’t wantis a form of self-respect. Nobody can force youto do anything if you don’t want.
If you put your focus on things you don’twant, you will take some energy from the things
you do want to happen. The energy flow isconstant, it’s your choice where to put it. So,learning to ignore should be a compulsory lifeskill.
Start right now: ignore this book and getup doing something really important for you.
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28. Experiment Gratitude
When was the last time you said “thankyou”? With all your heart? Everybody knows that
an attitude of gratitude is the key to success,but almost nobody practices it. Well, start byexperience gratitude first, and take it fromthere.
I once did a gratitude experiment. Idecided to write down at the end of the day allthe things I was grateful for. I created a sort of agratitude journal. Didn’t plan in advance whatto write, went with the flow. Each evening, fiveminutes.
After 30 days I re-read it. I was amazed
by this simple fact: the things I was grateful forgrew from one day to another. It was likefeeding them with my gratitude. Looking backafter 30 days made it obvious: I actuallyattracted more of what I was grateful for in mylife.
Expressing gratitude doesn’t cost youanything, but it can bring you so much.
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29. Recycle Your Aggression
Don’t throw it away, recycle it! Use it forsomething you really want! Call out those wild
forces inside of you and put them to work.Aggression is part of your being, so don’t try toreject it, because it will only grow stronger.Recycle your aggression.
Every aggressive action is in fact theresult of a certain imbalance. This is why iswiser to assess your imbalances early andacknowledge them. Postponing your reactionsgenerated by a restrictive situation will triggeraggression, sooner or later.
But the good news is that aggression is
also a pure manifestation of power. If you canbreak a wall with your fist, that means you’restrong. Maybe stronger than you thought youwere. The trick is to acknowledge this powerand master it.
Aggression is not something outside you,
unless you make it be. It’s always your innerenergy that manifests. Just use it wisely.
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30. Release Your Guardians
Don’t touch that! Don’t eat that! Don’t go
for that opportunity! Those are the sentencesyou hear when going for something you reallywant. Those are your guardians, your mentalconstructs made to protect you. Release them,you’ll be much better off.
We all have some sort of self-imposedlimitations. Some of them are “natural”, likedon’t put your hand in the fire, some of themare just social constructs. The problem withthem is that they stretch way over their initialgoal.
So, every now and then you should assessthem. Is it really forbidden to talk loud inpublic? Is it really forbidden to quit a job I don’tlike? Is it really forbidden to break away from arelationship which is not good for me?
And the most important question you
must ask to your guardians: is it really forbidden to be happy?
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31. Clean Up Your House
It’s fun. And it’s good for you. Make ahabit out of cleaning up your house with joy andhappiness. What’s outside is a mirror of what’sinside. If your house is a mess, probably yourinternal life is a disaster. Neat that stuff, it’seasy.
Some people chose to delegate this task: Ihave a housekeeper, why should I bother? Well, Ithink there are some boundaries you should nottrespass. Cleaning up my house is a very privatething for me.
I prefer to spend an entire day cleaningmy house and keep a certain privacy rather thandelegating and lose it. Your house is in fact anextensions of yourself, it represents you if onlybecause you’re sharing your energy with it dayin and day out.
Cleaning up your house should be anintimate act of self purification.
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32. Write A Personal MissionStatement
You’re here for a reason. No matter how
small you feel now, or how insignificant othersmay made you feel in the past, you have apurpose. Take the time to write your personalmission statement. It will bring light anddirection into your life.
You may have some hard time finding it,
that’s true, but rest assured everybody has. Aslong as you don’t give up and really try to findit, at some point, it will reveal. How would youknow it’s your personal mission statement andnot some borrowed mumbo jumbo?
Just do it. Live by it. See how you feel. If
there’s enthusiasm and passion in your life, yourpersonal mission statement is the right one.Those are the only two ingredients to assess:enthusiasm and passion.
Your personal mission statement is the
phrase which puts back passion into your life. And make you live it enthusiastically.
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33. Dissolve NegativeOpinions About Yourself
Whatever you think you may do, it’s halfof what you can really do. And that’s because
you have so many negative opinions aboutyourself. You can disperse them. Just accept thefact that you have negative opinions and thenstart working on them.
Most of the time, those negative opinionswill come from the outside: people will judge
you for what you did. Sometimes they will judgeyou for what you didn’t do. And, of course,there will also be your own negative opinionsabout yourself.
Accept them. Assess them. If you reallydid something wrong, fix it. No excuses, no false
image polishing, Be authentic and do whateveryou have to do to move things forward. Onceyou are convinced you did the right thing, moveon.
It’s ok to have negative opinions about
yourself as long as you are 100% committed toassess, accept and dissolve them,
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34. Build Different Skills
Don’t stop learning. Don’t remain stuck ina single career, it’s boring and limiting. Learndifferent skills, possibly from completelyunrelated fields. You never know when life willask you to use them. Besides, it’s a lot of fun.
Our modern society thought us that ourchances for a higher payout are bigger on thenarrow niches. While this might be true, nobodycan guarantee that a narrow niche will survivefor ever.
Life changes, society changes, jobs arechanging so do yourself a favor and embracechange. Your today’s hobby may become yourtomorrow job. By building different skills, youare building your own opportunities.
Acquiring different skills is like learning
new languages, only you can make a living outof them.
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35. Manage Your Time As YouManage Your Money
Have you ever thought what would be if
you would manage your time the same way youmanage your money? Just give it a try. Seewhere you spend most of your time, what thereturn of investment is and how rich are you intime.
For instance, you would never spend
money on things you don’t really like, right? Sowhy spending your time in a job you don’t like?Or with people you don’t like. It’s a badinvestment, you wouldn’t do it with money sowhy doing it with your time?
Subsequently, you wouldn’t spend money
you don’t have, right? Sinking in debt isequivalent with working extra hours: you don’treally have that time, you’re borrowing it fromyour family or friends.
Time is money, they say, but nobody seem
to actually treat their time the same way theytreat their money.
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36. Exercise
You don’t have to break the world record,
or something. Just make sure you exerciseconstantly. It will make your body healthier andyour mind clearer. It’s also one of the simplestand most affordable ways to improve your life.
Your body needs the same level ofattention as your soul. Furthermore, your bodyis the host of your soul, so the best gift you cangive to your souls is a healthy host. Believe it ornot, exercising is one of the simplest way to stayhealthy.
Exercising is also one of the cheapest
improvements you can buy for your body: it’sactually free. You can exercise virtuallyeverywhere. You can establish your own routineand keep your own pace. As long as you do itconstantly.
Exercising is for your body what reading
is for your mind: keeps it fit and alert.
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37. Be A Parent
Having kids doesn’t necessarily meansyou’re a parent, and I know that very well.Being a real parent will surely change your lifeforever: filling it with unconditional, life lastinglove, care and warm feelings. You’ll live in love.And learn.
Being a parent is not a chore, it’s a gift. Avery precious one. Being too wrapped up in ourdaily survival fight we often forget howgenerous life was when it made us responsiblefor other lives.
It’s an incredible present to observe lifeunfolding behind us each year, month by month,day by day. It’s not about living another life butwitnessing and preserving this eternal wonder.
Nurturing our own flesh and bloodthrough the lives of our children is a spark of
divinity.
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38. Throw Away One Object ADay From Your House
Maybe your life is breathing so hard justbecause it’s suffocated with objects. Learn tolet them go. You may donate them, give tocharity or simply throw them away, but don’t letthe clutter stay in your way. You’re not theobjects you have.
Creating this habit is a fantastic reward. Idon’t know if you suffer from this “souvenirs”illness, but I know I did. I used to pile aroundtons of physical witnesses of my life. Now I’mscared just by seeing them.
Life is here and now, it can’t be
contained in an object. Memories are good as anentertaining system not for dragging you in thepast. A clogged house is more than often a signof a clogged life.
Just make sure you lighten your
environment each day with one single object.You’ll soon feel like flying.
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39. Read A Book Per Week
Or, alternatively, a fine selection of blogs.That will keep your mind alert and your focussteady. Reading is like good food for your brain,without it, it will go lazy, obese andunresponsive. But with the proper food it canbecome your best friend.
I can’t imagine a life in which I wouldn’tread. Even in my wildest and hippiest liferepresentations there’s still a lot of room forbooks. Not only for the brain challenges itimplies but also for their great ability to ignitedreams.
Reading will force your current problemsto go away while your focus is on the book. Itwill also add to your pool of possible solutions ifyou are seeking one. And it will just make youfeel good.
Books are distilled, available anddigestible knowledge. Don’t avoid it.
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40. Start A Monthly Challenge
Being it physical, mental or social. Intend
to acquire something new in your life in 30 days.Improve your health using new methods, or yourrelationships by starting new things together.Make it count. And count on it.
30 days challenges are some of theeasiest ways to improve your life. They are farmore manageable than your yearly resolutions,for instance, but they last long enough toproduce visible results.
I used 30 days challenges to create newhabits, to ditch old, bad habits, to experiment
new attitudes, like gratitude, to test newproductivity approaches or to change myexercising routine.
It’s easier than you think and you don’thave to spend months in it: it’s only 30 days.Start today.
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41. Call An Old Friend
It’s enlightening to connect with
somebody you haven’t talk to in the last years.Go right now and call an old friend, or arelative. It will bring up memories and it willcreate new opportunities. Don’t let the dustsettle on your relationships.
We live life at different speeds. Some ofour friends are left behind in this race, some ofthem are ahead us. Calling an old friend willinstantly resuscitate portions of your life whichare not within your reach anymore.
Doesn’t matter if their journey placed
them ahead or behind you in whatever systemyou may use, calling them out of the blue willput them at the same table again. Telling storieslike in the old times, feeling good, having fun.
It’s easier than reading this page actually, pick up the phone and call an old friend. Right
now.
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42. Follow A Coincidence
Well, there aren’t any coincidences, Ilied. Everything has a purpose. If you witnesssomething which may seem like a coincidence,
then you’re very lucky, you just got a sign.Follow it with trust, it will lead you well.
Following coincidences proved to beprovidential to me at times. Every “glitch” inthe matrix is an opportunity, every discontinuityin our flat Universe is in fact a gate to anotherworld. Most of the time, that world is muchbetter than this one.
I’m sure that there is a certain ability inhuman consciousness capable to decipher whatwe call now coincidences. I’m sure that on
another level coincidences are just normal signs.You need a lot of trust and a clear mind toidentify those signs, but once you did it, don’tstop.
Following a coincidence could be thedifference between a good decision and a
brilliant decision.
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44. Forgive Somebody Out Of
The Blue
Don’t hold that grudge for that past
insult. Grudges are heavy and tend to make thetake off for a new life a little bit difficult. Thelonger you hold that grudge, the more difficultthe take off will be. Forgiveness will lift you off.
It’s often misunderstood that forgivenessit’s about another person. It isn’t, it’s about
you. When you forgive you don’t impact theother person in any way. You can only impactyourself.
Letting go it’s about your burden, nottheirs. Forgiving will make you feel better in theend, not them. Nobody owes you anything. The
moment you realize that, forgiveness will beyour natural behavior.
Resentment is like drinking poison andwaiting for the other person to die, said CarrieFisher and she was damn right!
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45. Stop Solving The WrongProblem
You are not here to witness the bad thingsin your life. Nor the performance in itself. Youare here to enjoy a journey. To become aware.To grow. So, stop solving the wrong problem andfocus on what really matters.
We’re often taught that numbers or
metrics are things of value. We should aim for acertain number of money in the bank account.Or doing a certain number of things to feelhappy.
Numbers and metrics are just handles forthe real stuff. Don’t settle for the handles, take
the whole pot. Fulfillment and happiness can’tbe measured, they can only be felt. You can’t be95.43% happy.
You can be only happy, so stop solving thewrong problems and focus on the desired
solutions.
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46. Make Peace With An OldEnemy
That’s more than forgiveness, that’s theactual process of reversing a situation. Makepeace with somebody. Turn it into your friend.I’m not saying this is easy, I know it first hand.But I also know it works. Enemies count down,friends count up.
The whole idea of having enemies isoverrated. Who needs them in the first place?Why accepting to position yourself as an enemyto somebody else? Power games leads sooner orlater to defeat.
Not to mention the amount of energy you
spend to keep this whole enemy conceptrunning. Imagine what you can do with all thatextra resources you will free. Just byeliminating the “enemy” construct altogether.
Making peace with an old enemy, much
like forgiveness, will break in fact your ownchains.
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47. Make A Promise To A ClosePerson And Keep It
It doesn’t have to be something big. Itdoesn’t have to be for someone special. Itdoesn’t have to be difficult also. But it has to bea commitment to somebody. Just reach out,make a promise, keep it and then enjoy thefeeling after.
Making and keeping promises is the bestsocial glue I ever encountered. There is noeasier and effective way to make friends, toreach out and to build invisible bridges betweenyou and other people.
It also improves your self-esteemdrastically. Committing to somebody else hasthis magic effect of growing more innerresources. It’s like what you build outside iscoming back to you in an invisible way.
The more promises you make and keep,the more inner fulfillment you’ll create.
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48. Break Up With A PersonYou Don’t Really Like
Maybe you’re friend with somebody justby habit, chemistry being dead for a long timenow. Just break it up. Tell him. Ok, let’sunfriend us, this will not work. It will bring upsomething you thought you lost it long ago:courage.
All the lose ends in your social life aredragging you down, even if you don’t notice thisdirectly. If you’re just “showing up” for afriendship, you’ll spend time and energy thatyou don’t really want to.
Not to mention that if you only simulates
friendship, you will get back another simulation.If you mime your exchange, expect to receiveback a fake too. It’s far more easier to justbreak up.
Don’t hold grudges and if you can, make a
celebration out of it. Smile because ithappened.
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49. Get A Thing You WantedFor A Long Time
But you didn’t had time or money to getit. Just go out and get it. Not only it will boostyour self-respect, but it will also free yourdesire channel, which may be a little bit cloggedby having one and only one desire for such along time.
In my experience, if you keep yourinternal focus on only one desire something willstart to fade inside you. You’ll start to idealizethe object of your desire, pushing it outside thecurrent reality.
Just go out and reach to what you want.
It will be expensive, maybe, but at least you willfree your internal focus from this obsession. Youwill actually unblock your normal flow ofaspirations.
Dreaming too much about having
something equals making that somethinginaccessible.
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50. Stop Being Judgmental
With others AND with you. Excessivecriticism will kill your enthusiasm. And if youthink this book is something you shouldn’t readin the first place, then, my friend, you really arejudgmental. Lighten up. Accept life as it is.
And you know what? Life will startaccepting you as you are too. Critique is goodonly if it ends with a positive call for action,otherwise is just another burden on your back.Who needs another one, anyway?
Being judgmental is more than often theconsequence of a serious lack of self-confidencethan of a genuine improvement desire. Whyjudging others instead of helping them? That willonly perpetuate the problem.
Stop being judgmental with you in the
first place. You are ok as you are.
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51. Change Your Wardrobe
You don’t know how much are you tied towhat you wear. If you’re on the gray loving side,put some color in your clothes. If you’re on theblack and white, try some gradients. Of course,your clothes are not you. Hence, they’re so easyto change, right?
We’re constantly broadcasting meaningfulsignals even when we’re not, so to speak. Ourclothes are some of those signals we tend toignore after a while. Just a small change in theway you dress will lift you up.
Don’t believe me? Leave this book alonefor a while and go change your outfit. I’m nottelling your wardrobe will make you happy justby itself, but a change every once in a whilewill.
Your clothes, although they doesn’t
represent you as a person, can surely changeyour mood.
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52. Smile At Least 10 Times ADay
And I mean it, start to count that. Smilingis a sign of honesty and power. Everybody cancry over a disaster but only the most powerfulcan take bitterness with a smile. Exercise thatpower. And then try to go for 20 times a day.
Smiling is a sign of the powerful. A smilecan hold in itself both the enthusiasm of purelaughing and the expression of genuine sadness.Developing the habit of constantly smiling is anexercise of endurance and courage.
Genuinely receiving everything life throws
at you with a smile will have the unexpectedeffect of soothing the harsh moments andembellishing the nice ones.
A smi le i s the cheapest real i tyimprovement tool.
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53. Burn Some Old Memories
Maybe the notebook from your 7th grade?Maybe the teenage dumb poetry you wrote?Whatever it might be, break up with it. Might bedifficult, but it might also be a sign that you’reso attached to the past that you can’t advancein your life anymore.
I know for sure I found it difficult. Isomehow identified myself with those memoriesand felt like I was committing some kind offelony against myself if I would throw themaway.
Took me a lot to understand that I’m notmy memories. And even more to realize that ourlife is taking place in the present moment only.Not in the past, not in the future. Just thepresent moment.
Burning some old memories will be likethrowing some ballast from your balloon: willlift you up, higher and higher.
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54. Plant A Tree
Or take care of a flower. Do it for at leastseveral months. It will give you a sense ofpotential. Seeing that tree or that flowergrowing will make your self-confidence go up. Ifa flower can make it, why can’t I? Of course youcan, now do it!
Taking care of a tree, of a flower, or evenof a small garden will instantly extract yourfrom your day to day roller coaster. It’s likecreating your own refuge in the middle of theunleashed, noisy and pressuring world.
You will create a parallel world, in whichyou will have a privileged relationship: will nottalk, but will communicate. Will give andreceive seamlessly. Will enjoy each otherpresence without any conditions.
Improving another kind of life, a tree life
or a f lower l i fe , wi l l s i lent ly andunconditionally pay you back.
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55. Move To Another Town OrCountry
Maybe it ’s t ime to change theenvironment? Take the plunge, move over. Pickanother town or even another country. Like allthe good stuff, it might be pretty difficult in thebeginning, but you can bet it would shakeeverything really good!
And shaking everything around is most oftime all you need to start over. And start better.Will get to know new places. Will meet newpeople. Will make new friends. Will enjoy lifemore.
Moving out is often misunderstood and
taken as a form of surrender. I’ll take it as aform of exploration. After a while, yourenvironment, as rich as it may be, could dry out.
Don’t be afraid to find another one. Themere act of deciding this will make your life
better.
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56. Join A New Group
Go to a bikers meeting. Or, if you’re not abiker, to a toastmasters meeting. Join a newgroup and see how you fit in. It will help if thegroup will be focused on some of your passions,of course. It will reveal a lot about your socialskills.
We’re designed to act and live in a socialenvironment. If we withdraw for too long fromthis social layer, things will start to break upinside. We function better when we can freelyexchange our energy with other people.
It’s not only about seeking new friends,although this is most likely to be one of theconsequences of joining a new group, but mostlyabout what your contribution to this groupwould be. What you can offer.
Sometimes, a new group will reveal more
about your own hidden identity that you wantto believe.
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57. Stop Watching TV
Television evolved a lot from the balancednews provider it was in the beginning up to thecurrent manipulating tool. Just stop watching itfor a week. And then for a month. Meanwhile,assess your psychological progress. You may beamazed.
Although we need a steady informationflow to cope with our day to day reality,clogging it with an oversized pack of randomdata, such as the one most TV shows provides,will rend the whole purpose of it ridiculous.
Too much of it will slowly erode your ownvalues system and make you subject to shallowinterpretations or just plain lies. Make yourself aservice and exercise your own judgment as oftenas you can.
Don’t live your life from a broadcasted
TV show, keep it real.
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58. Start A Totally UnexpectedHobby
Start making trains out of safety matches.Raise cobras. Put tiny vessels into tiny bottles.Do whatever it takes to move your mind fromyour problems for a while. And if you can createsomething nice in the process, why not doing it?
A hobby it’s like a game you play
seriously. You set up a time and space for it butyou do it especially for fun. It’s like your ownprivate territory where nobody can trespasswithout your authorization.
Hobbies are in fact just infant passions,markers for something which can become even
bigger. Treat them nicely and they caneventually evolve into grown up passions thatwill fuel your life with enthusiasm andfulfillment.
Be serious about playing with your
hobbies.
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60. Set Up A Surprise Party
For you or for a friend. It’s always goodfor your mood, even if – or especially if – you’redown. Do a thematic one, invite friends and tellthem to bring their friends. And then expect tomeet new, wonderful persons. And of course,have fun.
Simple, plain and spontaneous fun is sounderrated. All you need is a little bit ofcourage to step out of your comfort zone andbring in some friends. Then let things to unfoldin their own terms.
I used to be afraid of parties, especiallyof surprise parties. Deep down, there was asimple, yet powerful sentence which preventedme to enjoy it. That sentence was :”you don’tdeserve it”.
Not anymore. Me, you, and everyone else
deserves a surprise party every now and then.
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61. Go Hiking
Do it for at least one week-end. Nature is
more powerful than our human createdenvironment. We don’t know how to channel theenergy into our artificial habitats. If you want torecharge, go outside and stay in connection withthe wilderness.
Our modern artificial world is still veryyoung, only a few thousands years. Comparedwith millions of years spent by nature to makethe mountains, oceans or forests is practicallynothing.
Don’t take for granted that our artificial
environment is suitable for you, because,most ofthe time, it isn’t. Go find your real roots,connect with your true nature and accept thefact that you’re functioning in a much largerareal.
Hiking is a very clean way to
appropriately wash your brain in the goodsense. A clean brain is a happy brain.
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62. Get A Pet
Whatever works for you, a bird, a guinea
pig, a dog or a cat. It will keep you alert and itwill cheer you up when you’re down. Taking careof a pet is also easier if you’re overwhelmedwith human interaction. Even from a pet, love isstill love.
Did that a few times in my life and Iremember those times as being more balancedand clear than the rest. Especially the firstphases, when I actually adopted the pet andmade room for it in my life were very powerful.
A pet will add a new routine in your life,
will make you stretch your habits and scheduleto fit in. Will move your focus from your day today chores to a new realm, filled with love andcaring.
A pet is a good way to practice your senseof responsibility while enjoying a honest
emotional reward.
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63. Write A Thank You Letter
You can send it or not, the real catch is towrite it. Pick someone who helped you in the
past. Start writing the letter and say everythingyou wanted to say to that person. It will makeyou understand what are you really grateful forin your life.
Writing a thank you letter will bring upone of the most beautiful parts in your self, thegrateful one. Whenever you express gratitudetowards somebody else, by an unknownmechanism, that gratitude comes back to yousomehow.
Most of the time, writing a thank you
letter is also just a trigger for more thoughtsand emotions which which are waiting to beexpressed. Once you started to write, you willwrite much more than you intended. And that’sa good sign.
If you think it will expose too much of
you, try writing a thank you letter to yourself first and see how you feel about it.
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64. Meditate Daily
It’s the easiest thing you can do. Truemeditation acts like a mind emptier, leaving you
open to the whole flow of the sensations andexperiences you would otherwise ignore. Youdon’t even need a complicated technique,meditate as you see fit.
In my experience, the biggest obstacle inexperiencing the benefits of meditation is anoverweighted agenda. We simply don’t find timeto do it. So, scheduling some meditation time inadvance will clearly help. I know it helped me.
Meditating first thing in the morning, forinstance, before even starting the day, that
would be quite an appropriate, and most of thetime, free, time spot. Morning meditationalways leave my mind clear and relaxed for theday.
Silencing you mind through meditationwill open an incredibly powerful flow of energy
reaching out.
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65. Say Something Nice ToSomebody
Just like that. Out of the blue. Pick an
unknown person and say something nice. Afterthe initial surprise you’ll be amazed by theunmasked joy and gratitude they’re expressing.Admit it: you would like that too, isn’t it?
Saying something nice to people out ofthe blue is one of my favorite social exercises.
People don’t expect this to happen. When itcomes to social interaction, our mind is wiredinto “appropriated” rather than into “nice”.
At the supermarket, on the streets, atsocial events, I love walking towards somebody Iknow - and sometimes to somebody I don’t, too
- and saying something nice just like that. Thatgenuine, surprised smile on their faces makesmy day.
Imagine how would you feel if you weretold nice things all of a sudden. Then read the
next chapter.
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66. Say Something Nice ToYourself
Ok, but if nobody is telling you nice
things, why not start this yourself? Do it inwhatever form you think it’s appropriate: sendyourself emails, write in your calendar or leaveyourself nice post-its on the desk. Withsomething nice just for you.
I know it seems awkward, but only in the
beginning. And you know why? Because you arealready telling yourself stuff, only you don’t dothis publicly. You’re telling things to yourself inyour mind. All the time.
Doing this outside your brain will only“legalize” it. And the most important part is
that you will start to exert some form of controlover it. Most of the time you’re telling stuff toyourself unconsciously. Usually, bad stuff.
Do yourself a service and send futuremessage to the future you. Again, you’ll be
surprised how such a simple thing could changeyour mood so deeply.
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67. When In Doubt, Improvise
Being so scared for not knowing theanswer, so nervous that you may screw thinsup… I know the feeling, I’ve been there too.Just go with the flow. Improvise. It will be sogood for your unconscious mind. The real answerwill be surprising.
There is no “right” answer or “wrong”answer. Trying too hard to fit into a fixed set ofpatterns will lead you sooner or later to aroadblock. A place where you simply don’t knowwhich is right and which is wrong.
When you got there, well, improvise. Gowith your heart. Trust your inner voice. Not onlyyou’ll eliminate one of the deepest fears we’reall carrying, the fear of being wrong, but youmay have some real fun in the process.
Improvisation it’s like practicing your
spontaneity muscles, The more you do it, theeasier you’ll find to walk in your own shoes.
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68. Don’t Argue, Win Or Lose
This goes hand in hand with avoiding the
fight, but it’s a little bit different. If you getcaught in an argument, just accept that you canhave only two outcomes from it: win or lose.Settle with one and just move on.
Many of our pains are coming fromattaching to a desired outcome. We feel sostrongly that we are right, hence we arecommitted to spend whatever we have to inorder to prove ourselves right.
But we don’t take into account that wedon’t really control anybody around us. We
can’t control other people. The only person whocan be controlled in our reality is our ownperson. So, why bother?
Accept the fact that you either won orlost that competition, learn what is to belearned and move on.
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69. Stop Faking Your Life
It’s so easy to get caught in a flow offakes. Society wants us to politely lie and you
need to lie sometimes too. Just stop it. Beingauthentic is the best thing you can do. No needto hide your sorrow, nor your joy. They’re bothpart of life.
It’s also quite easy to blame it on thesociety for our own fakes: smiling when wedon’t feel like, doing what we don’t want to, orsaying what we don’t really believe. Well, ittakes more than that to fake our life: it takesour own decision.
Authenticity takes courage, that’s true.
Standing out for what you believe in, withouthurting others in the process, that’s not an easytask. But it’s much more rewarding in the longrun than a numb submission to the easiest path.
Faking your attitude is contagious. Atsome point, it will infect your entire life. Just
stop it. Now.
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70. Define Goals
Again, that goes hand in hand with writinga personal mission but it’s more than that. It’sthe habit of clearly deciding – and,subsequently, describing – where you want to go.Do you have a goal? A passion, maybe? Go for it!And be verbose.
Create your desired reality in your headfirst. Make it clear. And the easiest way to makeit clear is to translate it into goals. I want thatthing. And that thing consists from... fill in theblanks.
Defining goals is very powerful thing to donot only from the productivity perspective,although it will greatly improve yourproductivity, but more from the perspective oftaking real decisions and make them clear.
A goal is in fact the shape of a decisionyou’ve already taken. Make it clear.
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71. Help Others
Reach out and try to see if you can help
others. You don’t have to be a Samaritan, justgo out there and support somebody. The biggesttrick of helping is really surprising: although itseems you’re giving, you’re in fact receiving alot more.
It all comes down to the understandingthat you’re not alone, you’re functioning in agreater context than yourself. So, every timeyou help somebody you change something in theenergy field, you provide more.
Although we all know that and all major
religions have preached it, we still find itdifficult. Because of our fear of loss. We fearthat we may lose something if we helpsomebody else: our time, our money, our energy.
Get over it. Helping others is the bestinvestment ever. It always pay back. And rather
sooner than later.
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72. Go Social
Mingle, interact, go out. Get used tomeet new people. Make this a habit and you’llsoon get used to do new things too. The goal isnot to be the best networker in the world, butto be connected to as many energy sources asyou can get.
The moment you stop wanting to meetnew people, your world will start to shrink.Don’t let that happen. Don’t let your worldbecome smaller and smaller just because of yourlittle shyness. Sometimes all you need to start anew relationship is a smile.
Start attending to evens, s tartconversations at the supermarket, talk aboutthe weather with the parking boy. Don’t feelrejected, unless you really want other people togenuinely reject you for good.
Every people you meet carries a hidden gift. Work together to find it.
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73. Spend Some Time Alone
Subsequently, make sure you set asideenough time for yourself. You don’t necessarilyneed to recharge, but you need this time inorder to get a new perspective. Stop for a whileand look around. Where are you? Where do youwant to be?
You are in a continuous journey and, likein any other journey, you need some time toanalyze your current position, to see if youderailed and to set course back towards yourdesired destination.
The best way to do this is to be alone.Because you’re the only one who knows what’sgood for you. Nobody else. The others can giveyou some advice and support when you’re down,but all the important decisions must be taken insolitude.
Being alone with yourself it’s the best place to start a new trip.
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74. Fix Something By Yourself
Go fix a broken window, or a scratch onyour car. Don’t call for a specialist, get involved,
see how you can have an impact on thingsaround you. Work with your hands, prepare tosweat. It will instantly make you feel better.
I know it always makes me feel better.Although I can hurt my fingers with a hammer orspend double the time a specialist will spendreplacing a broken pipe, I love doing it myself. Ilove to look at what I’ve done and say to myself:I did this.
Crafting something will make you feel likea little creator, giving shape and volumes to the
universe around you. It may sound exaggerated,but believe me, it isn’t. Even the smallestimprovement in the physical universe aroundyou will have an impact.
It often takes a little bit of positiveoutcome of a small action to give your more
courage for the bigger things.
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75. Create Value
Make things that others need too. Make
something useful. Don’t follow blind or outdatedcommitments, go for what really makes achange around you. Creating value is the core ofyour activity here and the only thing you reallyhave to strive for.
Creating value is sometimes a simplematter of looking around and see what othersneed. And sometimes it’s just the thing you dobest. Whatever the case, providing genuinevalue will give you more power and well beingthan you think.
The consumerist mindset of the modernsociety is often misunderstood: in order toconsume something, somebody else must createthat thing first. It’s a two fold situation. It’sgreat to enjoy stuff, but don’t forget to createyour share in the first place.
Do something useful with your life. Don’tlet it vanish away.
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76. Do A Random Act OfKindness
Doesn’t have to be in the form of a nice
compliment this time. You don’t even need tocommunicate it to the target person. Just do anincognito service to someone. See how thismakes you feel. Think how many times youreceived that..
We are subjects to random acts of
kindness all the time. There’s always somebodydoing something nice for us without ourknowledge. And sometimes they’re doing it evenwithout knowing who we really are.
Kindness is never about the receiver’sidentity. Doesn’t really matter who’s going to
receive it. It matters more who’s going to give itaway. Kindness is about yourself. Aboutcompassion.
Pick a random act of kindness and do it for an unknown person. And after that move on.
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77. One More Second
Create the habit of looking at things forone more second. Spend one more secondbefore taking an important decision. Delaysomething. Time will follow your intention andopen some unexpected windows for you. Slow itdown a little.
This goes also hand in hand with yourperformance goals. Stay in that project onemore second. Tweak that presentation one moresecond. Listen to your clients one more second.
This one more second will stretch the
time in your favor. Acting too hasty is often thesource of a lot of trouble in our lives. Slowingdown a little bit will significantly lower thispossibility.
Look at everything around you one moresecond. And be amazed by what you will
discover.
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78. Understand What PeopleWant From You
What you can do is not always whatpeople want from you. Clearing that confusionalone could bring an immense relief to your life.You don’t have to immediately provide whatthey’re wanting, but if you do, you may havesome big surprises.
Making yourself useful is just a matter ofasking around: what do you need from me? Ifyou can provide, just do it. If you don’t, thenyou’re at least clear about something. As simpleas it sounds, this approach is more than oftenignored.
We do live a large part of our lives byassumptions. The problem arise when theseassumptions are not clicking anymore. And,before we know it, we’re on a different context,with different rules.
Ask around. Understand what others want from you before starting to give.
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79. Break An Old Habit
Breaking a bad habit is difficult. Butbreaking an old bad habit will free an incredible
amount of time into your life. Quit smoking orstop talking on the phone for hours. Whateveryou break, it will change your life for the best.
Like assumptions, earlier, habits are lifeshortcuts. We use them when we want certaintasks on auto-pilot, like riding a bike or driving acar. We learn them once and then we’re good togo. Learning how to drive a bike each time weuse it would be really strange, I admit.
But once a habit is no longer needed, weshould do whatever it takes to get rid of it. Bad
habits are like driving with our eyes closed:we’re still on auto-pilot but we’re doingsomething really bad for ourselves.
Start small, if you never did it before.But acknowledge even the sma l le s taccomplishment when you break free from your
bad habit.
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80. Stop Complaining
Complaining is like an open invitation fortroubles. The more you complain aboutsomething, the more of that something youinvite into your life. Cut it out. You don’t getany comfort out of complaining, only troubles.
Under the false excuse of “letting it allout” we’re all doing this. We’re all talking aboutthe bad, stupid or unfair stuff in our lives. Butthe talking in itself won’t make that stuff goaway.
On the contrary, the more you complain,the strongest the link between you and thatthing. Complaining is in fact a shout for the badstuff: “Ok, I know you’re happening already, butcan you please stay more? So I can talk aboutyou?”
If you complain about something, how doyou expect to find the time to fix it?
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81. Reject What You Don’tWant
It’s so simple, yet so underrated. Societywants us to complain even when we don’t reallylike stuff. Like forcing us to smile when wedon’t find it funny. Allow yourself to walk awayfrom something you don’t like. Just do it!
Saying “No” is obsolete nowadays whencompliance become a world trend. Well, I findan honest “No” extremely valuable for one’semotional health. Just reject stuff you don’twant. Be polite in the process, but firm.
If you don’t clearly state your position
about something, people will just assume thatyou’ll take it, it’s more convenient like this.Don’t just be the “I’m okay, although I’m notquite” guy in your group.
A simple and honest “no, thank you” will
count sometimes as 100 “Yes, but...”
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82. Being Is Better ThanHaving
Too much and too often we measure ourlife’s fulfillment to the amount we possess. Thefundamental mistake. If you’re doing it, stop itright now. You’re not what you’re having. Beingis so much better than having.
Being in abundance doesn’t always equal
a lot of money in the bank. Being happy doesn’tmean you own a beautiful house. Being joyful isnot a matter of expensive clothes. As much asyou would like to think the opposite.
Everything you own on this Earth isvolatile. Even your body. But everything you do
and everything you experience is unique.Sometimes you get so caught into securing yourfuture existence that you’re no longer able toenjoy your current moment.
Everything you have is in fact in this
second. You are more than you own.
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83. Listen To Your Critics
This one might be difficult in thebeginning but once you get used to it it’sfantastic. You may find out a lot of stuff aboutyourself that you didn’t know before. You thinkyou are one kind of person, but others maydisagree.
And it’s their right to do so. Everybody isunique, hence we’re all different. And this isvery good news. Every once in a while you willface some criticism, even some some rejection.Deal with it upfront.
Acknowledge that they have the right toexpress their opinion. And accept the fact thatyour actions may not always be in sync withtheir expectations. If they talk about you,regardless of how they do it, you’re important.
Every critique is a disguised opportunity,
as long as you can carefully listen to it.
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84. Don’t Take It Personally
Never. Your world is shaped by yourreaction to things, not by the things themselves.Don’t get upset, don’t think that somebodyknows enough about you to have it right.Acknowledge the situation and move on.
Many times we are raising our hands tothe sky, with bitterness and anger. Why this ishappening to us? What did I do to deserve this?Why us, in the first place? Well, because this ishow it’s meant to be, that’s why.
Don’t take it personally. Anger andbitterness are just reactions to external factors.And external factors can always be modifiedoutside your circle of influence. But youremotions, you have total control over them.
Sometimes things are just happening.
Accept and move on.
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85. Laugh
This time is not about smiling. It’s aboutlaughing. Don’t you ever miss anotheropportunity to laugh. Especially at yourself. Thelonger your laughing sessions, the shorter yourmisery ones. Looks like a nice deal, isn’t it?
Every good laugh will kill a potentialstupid move you were ready to do. I know thisfrom personal experience. Every time I wasrelaxed enough to laugh at myself, all mydecisions were spot on.
And if we’re talking about how we spend
our time, I can always chose to laugh aboutsomething I did than to be sad about something Ididn’t. That’s quality time, if you ask me.
Laughing is the most genuine expressionof pure happiness. Especially when you‘relaughing at yourself.
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86. Go With Passion
Don’t let your rational mind stand in theway of your passion. If you found – or at least
felt, even occasionally – something that thrillsyou, you’re there. You don’t need aconfirmation on this from anybody. Go with yourpassion.
Following your true passion isn’t alwayseasy. In fact, if you look carefully throughhistory, following your passion was never easy.Being it love for another human being or justenthusiasm in doing something. It’s difficult.Really difficult.
And it’s difficult for a reason: the reward
is huge. Living a life in passion will tune yourbeing into the most authentic vibrations around.Every passion is in fact a way of the Universe totell you you’re in sync with your true self.
Doing things without passion is likedancing without music. You may have the
moves, but you’re missing the whole point.
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87. Trust Your Emotions
Don’t underestimate your emotions. Oroverestimate them. Your emotions are yourfeed-back system and for that they are veryimportant. Trying to ignore your emotions it’slike depriving yourself from lights in a carrunning in the middle of the night.
We’re equipped with this fantastic set oftools called emotions, yet we chose not to usethem. By fear of “breaking” it or just by lack oftrust. Emotions are the most sensitive tool forassessing our path.
Positive emotions: we’re on the goodtrack, negative emotions: there’s something weshould work on. You may chose how to expressyour emotions if you want, but not trusting themwould be simply stupid.
Look into your heart first. And then, if
everything is fine there, bring in your mind forsome adjustments.
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88. Live It Like A Holiday
Ever noticed how good you feel during
your holiday? How light, joyful and authentic?Everything is just wonderful. Well, you are on acontinuous holiday here, on Earth. It starts withyour birth and ends with your death. Live it likea holiday, then.
This strange separation between work andholiday is something very artificial. Just becauseyou committed to do something - your work -that shouldn’t mean you have to take out of thejoy from it.
A holiday is a land of possibilities, a
journey in an unknown territory, an inhibitionkiller. Why don’t you live your life like you’re ona perpetual holiday? You’re entering this worldthrough your birth and at some point you’llleave.
Make the best out of this trip. Have fun
and enjoy. This is what you are supposed to do,anyway.
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89. Make A Story Out Of It
Do you like a good story? I love it. Make
everything in your life story-worthwhile. Make itas it would be a fantastic journey and you willbe at all time the observer, the hero and thenarrator. Create the story of your life.
That’s a very empowering exercise. Try towrite a story about something you did, but tell itfrom a narrator perspective. Tell it like you’rejust a character in a play. Do it even for 5minutes, describing a short situation in your life.
See how it feels. Feels like you? Or thatcharacter is just a stranger? How would you like
to be seen? What is the story of your life? Do thisexercise every once in a while to see if youdidn’t accidentally broke into somebody else’sstory.
Live your life in such a way that it willmake a beautiful story after you’re no longer
around.
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90. Stop Being A Follower
Admiring is nice. But being admired iseven better. Stop trying to fit in other people’s
shoes. Find your own path. If that meansbreaking up completely your lifestyle, so be it.If you are “like” somebody else you can’t be“like” yourself anymore.
A role model is as good as a kick in yourass. If it doesn’t act like this, if it doesn’t forceyou to advance, even in a violent way, this is nota role model. It’s an object of adulation and, ifyou ask me, adulation is a waste of time.
Too much admiring will take you offcourse eventually. Exercise caution when you
appreciate somebody and see if it really givesyou the urge to do the same or better. That’swhat a role model should do.
Walking in somebody else’s footsteps willbe incredibly boring and predictable at some point. Stop it before you reach that point.
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91. Watch Your Beliefs
Your beliefs are not you. But they areshaping your life constantly. You have the power
to change them at any point in your existence.But in order to do that, you must first start toobserve them, to isolate them, to accept them.
Almost anything around you is a directresult of your beliefs. If one of your beliefs isyou’re not good enough, you’re probably havinga dull and limiting job. If you truly believeyou’re not lucky in love, you’re probably alone.
We build our behavior based on ourbeliefs. Some of them are so deep down rootedin our unconscious mind that we don’t even
acknowledge them. We’re just following ourimpulses, because “we feel like”.
You can change your beliefs. Remember,your world is obeying your beliefs so be carefulwhat you believe in. It will happen.
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92. Stop Lying
To others and to yourself. Although itmight ease a complicate