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Breakout Session #104 Tom Reid

Chief Problem SolverCertified Contracting Solutions, LLC

Louisville, CO www.certifiedKsolutions.com

April 15, 2008 10:45 to 11:45 AM

Advanced Negotiation TechniquesDealing with

Negotiation Fears

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What Are You Afraid of?

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Innate Fears

• Loud noises• Falling• Abandonment

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Fear of Negotiating

• Key skill for contract managers

• One of the major impediments to effective negotiation is fear

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Primary Fears in Business

• Fear of looking foolish• Fear of the unknown• Fear from past bad experience

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Fear of Looking Foolish

• We all want to be a “good person”– Leaders– Parents– Competent business people

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What is the “Perfect Deal”?

• Depends on the circumstance• Depends on your perspective• Depends on your goals• Can a good deal go bad?

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Reject my Deal – Reject Me

• We personalize our effort• You are “tainted” by bad results

– Even if you did not cause them– Even if you could not have avoided them– You feel you can’t save face– Your reputation as a negotiator is bad

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YOU ARE A FAILURE!!!!

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REALLY????

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What is Success?• We all want to bat 1.000• In business, often anything over 50% is

pretty good• Success is amorphous• You can’t know what “might have been”• Position yourself to:

– Capitalize on positive risk– Minimize negative risk

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Mistakes

• Part of being human• If not making any – probably not doing

anything• Accept your mistakes; you can’t change

history• Learn from them• You don’t fail until you stop trying

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Fear of the Unknown

• You can’t know everything• There is more you don’t know than you

do know• Seek training in negotiation skills• Have substantive knowledge of the

situation

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Understand the Process

• Does the first person who speaks always lose?

• Is good cop/bad cop a legitimate technique?

• When is it appropriate to slam your fist on the desk and walk out?

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Understand the Subject Matter• Do you know what you are buying?• Have you gone out and “kicked the

tires”?• Do you know your company’s strategic

plan?• Do you know whether cost, schedule, or

technical excellence is the key driver for your company?

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Understand the Relationship

• What do you know about the other party?

• Would you want to have a beer with them?

• What motivates them?• Why are they doing business with you?

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Fear of Change

• One of the greatest learned fears• Every day is a new adventure• The only constant in life is change

• Deal with it!

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What Did You Know And When Did You Know It?

• Known knowns• Known unknowns• Unknown unknowns

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Fear from Experience

• Experience is an excellent teacher• “Tried it once and failed, so I’ll never

do THAT again!”• Experience allows us to rationalize• Can you explain WHY it was a bad

experience and learn from it?

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So – What to do?

• Prepare• Study and practice• Understand power• Understand fear

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Prepare

• Understand the subject matter• Know your company’s objectives• Prepare your BATNA, then improve it• Be rested and nourished• Have a negotiation plan/agenda

• THINK!!

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Study and Practice• Ever fly with a pilot who had NOT been

through the simulator?• All skill development takes study and

practice• What was the last book on negotiation that

you read?• Do you do mock negotiations, murder

boards, or lessons learned for your negotiations?

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Understand Power

• Power is like money – neither good or bad

• Power exists whether you recognize it or use it

• Often it is more perception than reality• Preparation exhibits power

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Understand Fear

• Negotiations are not usually fight or flight situations

• Most fear is self generated– Called WORRY– Treat fear signals as opportunities for

positive change• Developing relationships reduces fear

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What Does Zig Say?

• F.E.A.R = False Evidence Appearing Real

• Fear motivates• Harmful fears versus helpful fears –

know the difference• Fear can be your friend

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Conclusion

• Success requires responsibility• Don’t fear negotiations

– Prepare– Understand– Study– Build relationships

• Position yourself to pass it on

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“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you.”

Max De PreeAuthor & Business

Executive