11

Overview of the Workshop

•How to Develop the Topic Based on the Connections Between the Writer’s Position on the Issue and the Major Supporting Ideas

•How to Think About and Think Through Writing Topics

•Sample Student Essays from the State Assessment

Copyright 2007, Belita Gordon. All Rights Reserved. May be used for classroom redelivery by workshop participants.

GHSWT Scoring Rubrics, © Georgia Department of Education

Persuasive Writing for the Georgia High School Writing Assessment

Heart of Georgia RESANovember 2007

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Sample Practice Topic—Fast Food

Writing Situation Fast food is everywhere. Many of us don’t stop to think what we are eating

when we grab a convenient bite to eat on the way to school or an out-of-town ball game. Lately, however, the media have reported the harmful effects of this type of food. Your principal is considering whether or not to add fast food selections to the cafeteria menu. The principal has asked for recommendations from various groups of people, including students. Think about what would be best for the students at your school.

Directions for Writing Write a letter to your principal in which you present your position on the

issue of adding fast food to the school menu. Provide reasons and evidence that would convince the principal to accept or reject adding fast food to the menu.

(reprinted from Gordon and Murphy, From Formula to Form)

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Expectations for Persuasive Writing Based on the Georgia Performance

Standards• Contains a clear position, arguable point of view, and

knowledgeable judgment based on personal experience and real world or academic knowledge

• Provides support for a proposition--a statement suggested for acceptance, a statement to be affirmed or denied, or a subject for discussion or analysis

• Demonstrates awareness of writing for the topic-specific audience by selecting or framing the supporting ideas, that is by including and sequencing arguments/ideas appropriate to the needs, values, and interests of a specified audience

• Cites sources of information as appropriate (such sources will be made up in the testing context)

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Domain of Ideas

• 40% of total score• Emphasis on development of the writer’s position on the issue,

which in persuasive writing, is the controlling idea of an essay• Improvement in the Ideas domain results in simultaneous

improvement in Conventions and Style

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How Expository and Persuasive Development Differ

Expository Writing Persuasive Writing

Genre-specific questions that the reader/rater asks to determine the score

•What does the writer know about the subject?•What’s new?•How deep is the writer’s knowledge about the subject?•How connected is one idea to another?•What, reasonably, could a writer this age, include in an on-demand essay?•How effective and/or appropriate is the explanation and description for both the audience assigned in the topic and the reader/rater?

Note: factual information may be inaccurate, due to the testing context, without lowering the score assigned

•What does the writer want?•Why?•Who has the “power” to give the writer what he or she wants?

–Does the writer present an appeal or establish a line of reasoning that would compel the audience to grant the writer’s wishes?–Does the writer include logical and/or emotional appeals?

OR–Are the writer’s reasons and ideas suited to the topic but not the audience?

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What Makes Exposition Persuasive: Moving From “What the Writer Wants” to “Why the Audience Should Agree with the Writer or Give the

Writer What’s Requested”• A clear point of view on the issue• Writing with authority established through knowledge of the issue, setting

the issue in a broader context, or personal experience• Following the “what” with an explanation of the “so what” or the “why” the

information matters• Making a deliberate connection with the assigned audience• Acknowledgement of the audience’s point of view• Word choice that shows the writer’s point of view in a positive light and

the alternatives in a negative light• Persuasive words and phrases• “Speaking” directly to the audience• Appealing to the reader’s emotions• Appealing to reasoning• Hyperbole• Humor

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Approaches to Persuasion—from the Writer’s Perspective

• “What I want and why”• “What I want, why you (my audience) probably

won’t want to give it to me, and what we can do about your objections that will satisfy both of us”

• “Here’s what’s wrong—or at least unattractive—

about the other options or points of view and that’s why you will agree with my choice because it looks better by comparison”

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Approaches to Persuasion from the Writer’s Perspective

• “Let me tell you a story that will make my point, make you cry, or make you so mad you want to fix the problem”

• “You’ve got a problem and not only do I know what’s wrong with the solutions you’re thinking about, I have a solution that will work for both of us”

• “We’re both on the same team, the winning team”

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Ways to Organize Persuasion Based on the Connections Between the Writer’s Position on

the Issue and the Major Supporting Ideas

• The Loose List: a number of reasons connected to the writer’s position

• The Unifying Concept: the glue that links the reasons to each other and the writer’s position

• Least to Most Important Point• The Extended Narrative• Counter Argument: My Ideas are Better Than Theirs• Problem Solution• Cause Effect• Comparison Contrast

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Persuasive AppealsAppealing to Emotions

• Forming an alliance with the audience

• Playing to audience’s ego• Sharing a bonding story• Making a confession• Loaded, compelling description• Letting the story speak for the

writer• Going for guilt• Making the reader laugh• Creating an analogy or parallel

experience

Appealing to Logic and Reason

• Pointing out the practical benefits for the audience of giving the writer what he or she wants

• Providing choices or alternatives• Identifying the flaws in the

alternatives• Showing how a potential problem

or obstacle can be handled more easily than the audience thinks

• Providing plausible data• Citing (probably made-up) sources

of information• Making the new information

familiar

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What is Formulaic Writing?

• Repetition of predictable ,often small ideas

• The supporting ideas often overlap, leading to repeated points and examples in the body paragraphs

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What is Formulaic Writing?

• The Body paragraph “reasons” are connected to the writer’s position on the issue but they are not connected to each other

• The “thesis/three supporting points” plan limits the writer to an to a simple list

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What is Formulaic Writing?

• “Fill-in-the-slot” writing that begins the essay with a thesis statement, followed by three, numbered supporting points or reasons.

• The body paragraphs begin with topic sentences that repeat the wording in the Introduction. Sentence structure repetition limits Style

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What is Formulaic Writing?

• The thesis and supporting points are repeated (often verbatim) in the conclusion, with the simplistic addition of “In summary” or “In conclusion”

• The Introduction and the Conclusion are essentially or literally the same text

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Why Reliance upon Formulaic Writing Produces Low Test Scores

Ideas

•Major supporting points are repeated and often redundant

•Elaboration tends to be listy and overlapping

Organization

•Transitional words and phrases are simplistic and repeated

•Supporting ideas are connected to the topic but not each other

•The order of ideas within the body of the essay is based on simple listing

Style

•Word choice is repeated

•Sentence structure is repetitive

•The essay sound like “fill in the blanks” rather than establishing a writer’s voice

Conventions

•Repetition prevents the writer from demonstrating knowledge of a variety of rules

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Writing Sample on the Fast Food Topic

What NOT To Do: The Ineffective Five Paragraph Formula Dear Principal O’Connor:

Fast food should be served in our school for three reasons. The first reason is because fast food tastes good. The second reason is because fast food is cheap. The third reason is because teenagers like fast food.

The first reason fast food should be served in our school is because it tastes good. French fries are the best. I am sure you agree they are tasty. I don’t know if you are thinking about pizza, but my friends and I love pizza with pepperoni and lots of extra cheese. Burgers are good too, especially the ones with cheese and bacon.

The second reason you should give us fast food is because fast food is cheap. Everywhere you go you can find 99 cent specials. I could get fries and a burger for less than two dollars. Pizza is cheap too because my friends and I could share a whole pizza. Why would we want to pay for salad when we can get our favorite foods?

The third reason is because teenagers like fast food. We don’t like healthy stuff. The food in our cafeteria is not very good. That’s why we throw it away or spend our money in the vending machine. We are teenagers after all. We like French fries and pizza.

In conclusion of my writing, you should give us fast food. The first reason is because it tastes good. The second reason it because it is cheap. The third reason is because teenagers like fast food.

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A Quiz on the Fast Food Essay to IllustrateHow Much Information is Missing

1. What is the current menu?2. What is wrong with the food that is currently served in the school

cafeteria?3. How much money are students currently spending on school lunches?4. How much money would fast food save?5. What reasons does the writer provide for not adding fast food options?

Why are these reasons relatively unimportant?6. Who will object to adding fast food?7. What does the writer recommend the principal do to respond to the

objections?8. How is the cafeteria menu connected to the purpose of school and what

the principal wants to accomplish? 9. Why should the principal give teens what they want? In other words,

what’s in it for the principal?

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Repetition of Simple Language in the Formula-Driven Essay

What’s Repeated• Fast Food

• Teens

• Like

• First, second, third reason

• good

• cheap

More Effective Word ChoiceInstead of fast food

• “Answer to a busy mother’s prayers,”

• “food you don’t have to wait for,”

• specific foods or brand names

Word Choice and DescriptionInstead of cheap

• “a bargain”

• “99 cent special”

• “a filling meal with enough money left to eat tomorrow”

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Rhetorical Unit Content of the Five Paragraph Formula

Introduction • Explicit thesis statement in the first sentence• Thesis statement gives the writer's position on the issue, typically ending with "for three reasons“• Three sentences, each one containing an enumerated supporting reason. Typically these sentences begin "My first reason is . . . " • No transition to the body of the essay

Body • Develops each one of the major supporting reasons in the order given on the Introduction • Body paragraphs repeat the words and ideas from the Introduction• The supporting points may not be distinct, a weakness that results in repetition of details or specifics• Ideas are generally connected to the topic but not each other, creating a weak organization• Since the supporting points aren't logically connected to each other, the transitions tend to be limited to counting words (first, second) rather than "meaning" transitions

Conclusion • Repeats or restates the thesis and supporting points to ensure the reader knows what the writer said• Tends to be tedious verbatim repetition• Often begins with "In conclusion . . . "

The Five Paragraph Formula- What NOT To Do

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Moving from Formula-Driven Writing to Writing for Meaning

Topic Development Ineffective Formulaic “Three Reasons”

The Loose List

Effective Approach With Major Supporting Ideas Connected to Each Other and to the Position on the Issue

What the Major Supporting Ideas Are

• Fast food tastes good• Fast food is cheap• Teenagers like fast food

• School is the perfect setting for all kinds of learning• A varied menu, including fast foods, would make the cafeteria into a science lab• Once we learn through experimentation what foods make us feel good and which ones make us feel bad, we’ll make smart choices.

Why the Approach Does or Does Not Work

• The three reasons are simplistic • Small ideas, such as “cheap,” lead to lists of details such as the names of foods and prices • The three reasons show a lack of understanding of the major supporting points that would work for the principal as the

audience

• The major supporting ideas are connected through an internal logic, provided by a unifying concept- education- and an organizational plan showing cause-effect and problem-solution connections

between the ideas• The ideas demonstrate an understanding of the audience, appealing to the principal’s need to promote education

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Avoiding Formulaic Persuasive Writing

• Examine the prewriting list of “what I know and feel about the issue” for connections between the ideas such as cause-effect, comparison-contrast, or order of importance.

• Change places with the audience assigned in the writing topic. look at the reasons and evidence to support your (the writer’s) position from the audience’s point of view. What’s “wrong” with what you want? What can you say to both acknowledge the audience’s objections and get them to change?

• Instead of the five-paragraph persuasive essay, provide support for the position on the topic through an extended narrative. Tell a compelling story that is clearly linked to both the issue and your position on it.

• Instead of the five-paragraph persuasive essay, produce a counter argument that shows awareness of how the audience thinks about the issue. Present a well-thought out alternative.

• Instead of a five-paragraph persuasive essay, reframe the issue as a problem and offer convincing solution(s).

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Avoiding Formulaic Persuasive Writing While Maintaining a Formal Structure

Restate rather than repeat the thesis and major supporting points in the body and conclusion.

Save the supporting points for the body paragraphs. Write an interesting introduction that uses a stated controlling idea as transition to the body paragraphs.

Avoid repetition of key ideas by adding details that answer the reader’s who, what, why, when, where and how questions. More importantly, develop the "so what.“

Avoid repetition by stating key ideas with synonyms, pronouns, words that are more specific or general, descriptive or figurative language, nicknames or proper nouns (if suited to the text) and words or phrases that reveal your point of view. Do this activity before writing the first draft and again, if needed, at the editing stage.

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Persuasive Writing with the Audience in Mind

Topic: Fast Food

Brainstorming Why I (the Writer) Want Fast Food Served in the

school cafeteria

Thinking about Why This Idea Works or Does Not Work for My

Assigned Audience, the Principal

Changing My Idea to Make It Fit (If I Need To) or Expanding It If It

Works

Fast food taste great. The principal has to stick to a budget and make parents happy, so taste isn’t a good enough reason.

Change the idea•We are currently wasting money

because we don’t eat the food that’s served and it’s thrown away.

•Serving fast food, even once a week, would prevent waste and end

up costing less than the current menu

Fast food will make the lunch hour seem like a social event with my

friends.

The principal wants us to eat and learn, not eat and play.

Change and then expandIf we have a true break in the middle of the day we will be better students.•Fast food will make lunch feel like a social event without adding any time

to the lunch hour.•We’ll get “visiting” out of our system and pay attention when we get back

to class.•One meal won’t ruin our health.

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Persuasive Signals for a Unifying Concept

To Show The Reader The Writer Is Building on Points Already Covered or That More Points Follow, Instead of My First Reason, My Second,

My Third

a final reasonand finally

furthermorelikewise

next too

againanother

in additionmoreother with

alsofor example

last of all moreoversimilarly

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Persuasive Signalsfor Support of a Generalization

To Let The Reader Know A Specific Example of the More General Point is Coming Next, to Move the Reader from “What” to “So What”

or “Why”

for examplejust as happened to X

such as to illustrate

for instancemuch like

that is

in the same way thatspecifically

to demonstrate

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Persuasive Signals for Comparison Contrast and Counter Argument

To Move The Reader Through Changes in Point of View

While I respect

While there is merit in yourpoint of view

While there is value in whatyou are proposing

While you may believe that

Some believe that … While others

On the other hand

Nevertheless

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Persuasive Signals for Comparison Contrast

To Announce To The Reader/Audience That The Writer Is Aware of Different Points of View

althougheven thoughon the contrarystill

buthoweveron the other handwhile

converselyin spite of otherwise

despiteneverthelessrather

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Persuasive Signals for Comparison Contrast

To Indicate to The Reader That The Writer Sees Similarities and/or Differences Between Points of View on the Issue

alsoand

different fromhowever

likemuch as

same

althoughbest

eitherless

more thanopposite

too

compared tobettereven

less thanmost

or

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Persuasive Signals for Cause Effect

To Show The Reader the Consequences or Results of the Ideas The Writer Has Discussed

as a result of due to if…then

sincethereforewhether

becausefrom

in order thatso

thuswhile

consequentlyhence

resulting fromso thatunless

yet

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Persuasive Signals for Problem Solution

To Identify the Problem or Problems

A concern I haveA concern we shareA serious matterA little-known problemA well-known problem

One way of correcting. . .An easy and inexpensive method/plan/solutionA remedyAn alternative toA better choice to deal with XA way to fix

To Signal the Solutions and Value of the Writer’s Ideas

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Improving the ORGANIZATION DomainFROM A LOOSE LIST TO AN ESSAY WITH A PLAN

An Ineffective Strategy An Effective Strategy –Sample I

Support – A List of Unrelated Ideas

A List that Lacks An Underlying Plan

Supporting Ideas Linked to a Unifying Concept

Underlying Plan Based on Unifying Concept

Fast food tastes good.

Fast food is cheap.

Teens like fast food.

Note: These ideas are “too small” to develop

Each idea is related to the topic but the ideas are not logically linked to each other.

The third idea (teen likes) repeats the first two rather than further elaborating the writer’s position. That is, teen like fast food because it tastes good and they can afford it.

Students attend school to learn about academics and about life.

School is the perfect place to learn how diet affects us. We can study, do research and even experiment.

School may be the only place some students will learn good nutrition.

All the supporting ideas focus on and thus support a single concept: High school is the time and place to learn about health.

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Improving the ORGANIZATION DomainFROM A LOOSE LIST TO AN ESSAY WITH A PLAN

An Effective Strategy--Sample II

Supporting Ideas Connected on the Basis of Problem-Solution

Underlying Plan

Problems• food (and therefore money) is being wasted • students are complaining about the cafeteria menu• your time is being spent on this issue but you have more important things to do• you have to balance giving students what they want with doing what’s right

Solutions

The essay would begin by identifying the problem and the principal’s role in solving that problem. The writer would then follow with easy, appealing solutions. The final bullet in the Problem list provides an effective conclusion.

•Adding fast food to the menu could save money because students would “clean their plates” and you would not need as many cafeteria workers.•Fast food offerings could be limited to one day a week (Fast Food Friday) which would improve attendance and prevent health conscious students and parents from complaining.•Local fast food chains could be required to provide scholarships which would help the school’s money situation.•The money you save could be used to provide better tasting healthy food (purchase ingredients, send the cooks to school)•Putting a group of students in charge of surveying students to select the new menu would teach us responsibility and free up your time to deal with other problems.

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Narrative Support as a Development Strategy--The Extended Narrative--

• Narrative may be used in the introduction only, as one of the supporting ideas, or as the complete support for the writer’s position. The plot diagram represents a paper consisting entirely of narrative support.

• The narrative development strategy requires understanding of the difference between a story that merely relates a series of events in the writer’s life or imagination and the persuasive story a writer tells to convey a compelling message that supports the writer’s position on an issue.

• The story may be taken from the writer’s direct experience but is more likely to be an indirect, media-based, or imagined experience.

• If the event(s) happened to the writer, or the story is one the audience may have experienced, it will resonate. If not, the writer should address what the audience needs to know about the events and their impact on the writer, being careful not to assume the audience will “get it.”

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Rhetorical Unit Content of the Extended Narrative Essay

Introduction Presents the issue or problem Sets the stage for the story Acknowledges the reader's viewpoint while suggesting that the writer’s

story could change the reader’s thinking Ends with transition to the story OR If the story is compelling, the essay begins with the story and concludes with the connection between the story and the issue

Body The fully-elaborated story, based on The writer’s direct experience Indirect experience Pure fantasy Fiction A combination of reality and fiction Manipulation of time—either expansion or compression

Conclusion Explanation or reminder of why the story was told Explicit linking of the story to the writer's position on the issue Acknowledges the reader's viewpoint (may also be covered in the Introduction)

Letting the Story Convince the Audience

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The Narrative Says It All: Narrative Plot Diagram for Persuasive Writing

Rising

Act

ion

Falling Action

Resolution

chro

nicl

ed e

vent

s

Body

: Ser

ies o

f

Conclusion: Explicit linking of the story to the writer’s position on the issue

Introduction: Presents the issue and sets stage for the story

Issues or Conflict Identified

( X vs Y )

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The Issue: Whether or not to Writer's Position on the Issue: No serve fast food in the school cafeteria Audience: Principal

Focusing Statement: Spending the day in a kids' museum taught me the dangers of fast food.

I’m changing what I think about fast food!

Ris

ing

Act

ion

Falling A

ction

Resolution

Conflict Introduced

High Point

Description: I do everything I can to get my parents to let me stay in the hotel while they take my annoying little brother to a museum called The Health Adventure.

To get away from the pest I crawl into an artery tunnel

Along the way I read signs about food and exercise, especially junk food

The tunnel keeps getting narrower

When I get to the end I'm stuck in disgusting, sticky plaque the color of vomit

I'm looking at my future if I keep eating the greasy food I love I back out of the tunnel

before I get stuck for life.

I catch up with my family. My brother is "shopping" for fruits and vegetables.

This wasn't so dumb after all

Closure and connection to the issue: I promise to eat less junk food and to educate my friends. Unless we want a heart attack served with those fries we should keep our current menu.

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The Counter Argument In Counter Argument the writer sets himself up as the

expert, the authority on a different point of view. To write effective counter argument, the writer must learn to think like the reader-audience, to stand, momentarily in their shoes. The thought process requires the writer to

• be clear about what he/she wants and why• identify each of the reader-audience’s objections to

his/her position and the reasons he/she have taken that stance

• offer a well-thought out reply i.e., to counter to each objection

• elaborate each counter argument so that it is fully understood by the reader-audience

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WHATDOES THE

WRITER WANT?

WHAT THE WRITER KNOWS ABOUT

THE TOPIC-SPECIFIC

AUDIENCE

OBJECTIONS THE AUDIENCE IS

LIKELY TO HAVE TO WHAT THE

WRITER WANTS

IDEAS THE WRITER CAN USE TO COUNTER THE

OBJECTIONS

THE COUNTER ARGUMENT THOUGHT PROCESS

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Development and Organizational Strategies for Persuasive Writing

Method: The Counter Argument (Addresses the Reader’s Concerns)

Portion of the Essay Content of the Essay

Introduction •Acknowledges and then reviews the widely held viewpoint on the issue, generally the audience’s point of view•Makes the issue or problem clear•Does not reveal the writer's supporting ideas•Ends with a transition to the body of the essay, introducing the writer’s differing viewpoint on the issue.

Body •Multiple paragraphs (no magic number) that present the writer’s logic for holding his or her different point of view•Each of the audience’s (objections opposing arguments or reasons) are presented and countered with logic or an appeal to emotions•The writer’s counterarguments are thoroughly developed, distinctive, not repetitious or overlapping•Counterarguments are logically sequenced based on their actual content (for example, time sequence, order of importance, then and now…)

Conclusion •Avoids repetition of ideas already covered •Avoids cliché•Evolves out of the writer’s specific arguments•Reminds the audience of the larger controversial issue and value of varying perspectives on the issue

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TOPIC OR ISSUE: Should fast food be served in the school cafeteria?

WRITER’S POSITION ON THE ISSUE: No

AUDIENCE: Principal

What the Audience Thinks about the Issue: The Reader's Concern"While many people think that. . ."

The Writer's Counter Argument"I believe there is another side to the issue. . ."

A. There is a demand for fast food Reminder of leadership role

B. Too much food is thrown away Waste is a problem but eating poorly is a bigger one.

C. The school needs money Money is mentioned as a way of demonstrating the writer understands the principal’s responsibilities

D. Saying no will be unpopular Some students, like me, will help you convince other students. Leaders have to do what's unpopular.

E. Parents, not educators, are responsible for what teens eat.

•While it’s true that. . . what we learn at school also influences us.•My parents may complain if you. . .•Some parents don’t know themselves. . •My parents stick to the healthy items.

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The Problem Solution Essay

Rhetorical Unit Content of the Problem Solution Essay

Introduction • Makes the nature of the problem clear through definition or description• May identify a series of related problems• May argue for the seriousness of the problem, giving a series of consequences• May acknowledge the audience's role in solving the problem• Ends with a transition to the body of the essay,

suggesting a solution is forthcoming

Body • The writer’s analysis of the problem and the possible solutions are thoroughly developed• Multiple paragraphs (no magic number) that present the writer’s logic for holding his or her point of view• If different solutions are proposed, they begin with the ones the writer rejects

Conclusion • Appeals to the audience to help solve the problem or accept the writer's solution• Brings the argument to a close• Avoids cliché• Evolves out of the writer’s specific arguments

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WHAT DOES THE WRITER WANT?

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO THE AUDIENCE? (THE INDIVIDUAL WHO CAN GIVE THE WRITER WHAT HE/SHE WANTS)

HOW THE WRITER’S PLAN

WILL WORK

RESULTS OF THE WRITER’S PLANS

ADVANTAGES OF THE PLAN FOR THE AUDIENCE

ADVANTAGES FOR THE AUDIENCE

THE PROBLEM SOLUTION THOUGHT PROCESS

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Introductions that Engage the Reader and Set the Stage for the Writer’s Position on the Issue

• Setting the stage with description • Placing the issue in a broader, more meaningful context• Identifying multiple points of view,followed by the

position the writer will defend• A brief, compelling anecdote

The Introduction Often Ends with a Sentence or Two that Announces the Writer’s Position

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It’s almost lunchtime here at Georgia High. I close my eyes and imagine the mushy green beans and dry, stringy chicken that await me. Oh, and don’t forget the styrofoam granola bar for desert. Does this sound like a teen’s food fantasy? I think not! Principal O’Connor, while fast food is not healthy, it does have potential benefits for our beloved school.

Sample Introduction: Setting the Stage with

Description

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Being a teenager is both challenging and rewarding. One of the best ways for us to grow without getting seriously hurt is to make choices that have consequences. High school is a time and place for us learn. Even something as trivial as whether or not to eat fast food for lunch provides the opportunity for important life lessons.

Sample Introduction: Placing the Issue in a Broader, More Meaningful Context

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Our parents send us to school to learn enough to get into college or get a good job. They assume that the school is safe and probably never give a thought to the food that’s served. Ask the teachers about lunch and they think “yeah, a few minutes of peace and quiet with my teacher friends.” For me and my fellow students, though, the topic of school lunches is a big concern. If we add fast food choices to the menu, you will make parents, teachers, students, and yourself very happy. Happy students are well-behaved individuals who want to learn!

Sample Introduction: Identifying Multiple Points of View Followed by the Position the Writer Will

Defend

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I’ll never hear their insults again. I’ll never watch them watching me as I add a desert to my tray. After all, I paid for it and what harm can one desert do to my 300 pounds. Nope, I won’t vomit in the bathroom before returning to class. I won’t cry. I won’t diet. I’ll just swallow this whole calorie-free bottle of pills. Principal O’Connor, while I don’t know what obese teens think when contemplating suicide, just the possibility this could happen here makes me oppose serving fast food for lunch at Georgia High.

Sample Introduction: A Brief, Compelling Anecdote

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Conclusions that Bring the Writer’s Argument to a Close

• Remind the reader/rater/audience of the essence of the argument (without repetition)

• Extend the argument from the immediate issue to a more meaningful context

• Remind the audience of personal connections to the issue

• Provide resolution to a problem or make a recommendation that is reasonable or appealing to the audience

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The Style Domain

EVIDENCE OF AUDIENCE AWARENESS IN PERSUASIVE ESSAYS

Presence of Evidence – What the Writer Does

Absence of Evidence Identifies the Audience Address to the Audience Appeal –Logic Appeal- Emotion

•Writer writes to self

•Word choice conflicts with or contradicts the assigned audience

•Major Supporting Ideas/Information/Examples and /or Details are Inappropriate to Audience

•Reference to audience switches often enough to be confusing

•Writer attacks, threatens, or insults the audience

•First Person-”I want you to…”

•Second person-”You should…”

•Direct Address-

“Dear Principal…”

“Dear Mrs. Walker…”

•Knowledge of the subject establishes writer as an authority

•Explains “what” or “who” rather than assuming audience knows.

•Thoughtful Explicitness

•Includes supporting points that are compelling to the particular audience

•Relates to goals of audience- “As and American…”

•Introduction sets the stage or hooks the audience

•Conclusion gets the reader thinking

•Avoids clichés

•Relates by including self-”I think we should…”

If we take a stand…”

•Asks audience to consider writer’s situation or circumstances

•Language suits the audience and purpose

•Writer “gets close” and “steps back”

•Draws comparison between self and audience

•Acknowledges audience's perspective, beliefs, values, and/or ideas

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How Writers Make Decisions to Frame Their Ideas to Influence the Audience

Examples of Subject-Specific Word Choice that Reveals the Writer’s Point of View and Presents the Writer’s Point of View in a Favorable

Light and the Alternatives in an Unfavorable Light

To oppose serving fast food in the school cafeteria• The obesity epidemic• Gross, greasy, globules of fat left on the plate where tasty fries used to be• HeartburnTo support serving fast food served in the school cafeteria• Americans are free to choose whether it’s where to live, what to worship, or

even what to eat for lunch• The tantalizing aroma of everyone’s favorite vegetable, the french fry• What teen wants to be known as “granola boy”?

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How Writers Frame Their Ideas to Make Them Persuasive

Sample Topic: Course to Add to Prepare HS Students for Real Life

To establish the seriousness of the problem

1. My brother is dodging bullets in Iraq and I’m dodging insults in the hallway.

2. Needing to know the difference between mitosis and meiosis ends with the graduation test. Needing to know the difference between right and wrong is a lifetime lesson.

To establish the positive nature of the solution (the new course)

1. Knowing how to defend myself is essential whether I’m in a war zone or a mall.

2. Facts are important whether we are taking tests or choosing presidential candidates. What is even more important, though, is knowing that cheating is wrong, whether you did it to pass a test you didn’t study for or because you think you’re “above the law” like some of our Presidents.

5252

What Writers Say to Show They Are Persuading

Acknowledging Varied Points of View—Speaking to the Audience

• You might find reason to disagree, but. . .• You might be asking yourself how we can. . .• If you are saying that we do not. . .• It’s important to keep in mind that. . .• We all know that. . .• Most people do not know that. . .• It is my belief. . .• I would like to argue that. . .• Research shows. . .• 9 out of 10. . .

5353

What Writers Say to Show They Are Being Persuasive

Direct Address to the Audience

• . . . And yes, that’s a compliment. . . .• . . . And I hope you. . .• . . . For you to consider my suggestion. . .• . . .I might have the answer to your question if you keep

reading my letter. . . .• . . .One main thing you are probably looking for. . .• . . .Trust me. . .• . . .I understand that you need. . .• How would we. . . . Might be what you’re thinking right now.

Here are my thoughts on that.

5454

What Writers Say to Show They Are Persuading

Words That Show the Writer’s Point of View

• . . . should. . .• . . . would want to. . .• . . . the best person. . .• . . . an outstanding choice. . .• . . . extreme inspiration. . .• . . . especially eager. . .• . . . incredible. . .• . . . fantastic. . .• . . . inspire• . . . less fortunate. . .

5555

Value-laden Word Choice

Words Expressing the Writer’s Position on the Issue

approvebelieveconcludeencourage

endorse

reassurerecommendrecognizespent time consideringsupport

5656

Value-laden Word Choice

Words to Establish the Value of the Writer’s Point of View

believablecompellingconvincing

documentedexpert opinionpersuasiveplausible

5757

Showing Audience Awareness

Words and Phrases to Address Reader Concerns and Acknowledge Disagreement that the Audience Might Have Before Hearing the Writer’s Point of View

agree within limitsconsidergive consideration to seen from our/my point of view

reasonablereason withif you give it a chance

5858

Showing Audience Awareness

Words to Address the Audience and Make Them Receptive to the Writer’s Point of View by Acknowledging the Value of Their Point of View

acceptadmireassistanceappreciatecommendcomplimentcooperate

honorablereinforcerespectsupportivethought-provokingtried and truetrustworthy

5959

Voices That Persuade

• Formal

• Conversational

• Balanced; fair

• Humorous

• Concerned

• Authoritative and well-informed based on personal experience

• Authoritative and well-balanced based on “data” and/or “research”

6060

Voices that Do Not Persuade

• Insulting

• Threatening

• Rude

• Indifferent

• Flat

• Noncommittal

6161

A Fact Sheet on the Fast Food Topic

In favor of fast food1. Working parents don’t have time

to cook—more than half of all mothers work outside the home

2. FF restaurants provide info on calories and salt content so customers can choose healthier options

Opposed to fast food1. Health risks—childhood

diabetes, high blood pressure, weight

2. Obesity rates increasing—may be as high as half the population

3. Have to search (internet) to get actual nutrition info

6262

A Fact Sheet on the Fast Food Topic

• Well-known facts (so limit in the essay if possible)

1. Popularity of fast food

2. Advertising

• Little-known or otherwise interesting facts

1. Movie “Supersize Me” shows how quickly damage is done

2. Evidence that the sugar and other ingredients is addictive—like tobacco

3. Oversized servings make us think we’re getting more for our money—but don’t cost the fast food chains much more to produce

6363GHSWT Scoring Rubrics © Georgia Department of Education

6464GHSWT Scoring Rubrics © Georgia Department of Education

6565GHSWT Scoring Rubrics © Georgia Department of Education

6666GHSWT Scoring Rubrics © Georgia Department of Education

6767

Writing Situation

Many students do not think the subjects they study in high school prepare them for the real world they will face after graduation. The principal at your school is asking students for their opinions about new courses that could be offered to prepare students for life after high school. What new course do you think should be offered?

Directions for Writing

Write a letter to convince the principal that your new course should be offered. Be sure to explain why your new course is needed, using specific examples and details.

© 2005 Georgia Department of Education

Note: during the workshop this topic is identified as “Course to Prepare High School Students for the Real World”

2007 Main Administration Writing Topic 121