12. interpersonal skills
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INTERPERSONAL SKILLSChapter 5, Adler5th Edition
Layout
• Building Positive Relationships– Communication climate– Giving praise
• Dealing with Criticism– Offering constructive criticism– Responding non-defensively to criticism
• Managing Conflict– Approaches to conflict– Handling conflict
• Negotiating Skills– Negotiation styles and outcomes– Which negotiation style to use
Building Positive Relationships
Communication Climate
• Quality of personal relationships in an org.– Respected, trust one another, appreciated
• Individual relationships have microclimate– Feelings about tasks and each other
• People believe they are valued– Positive climate– Messages that express feelings of value:
confirming– vs. disconfirming
Ways to promote “confirming” climate Use descriptive “I” language Focus on solving problem, not controlling
others Be honest: don’t manipulate Show concern for others Demonstrate an attitude of equality Listen with an open mind
Giving Praise (tips)
Make praise specific Praise progress, not just perfection Praise intermittently Relay praise Praise sincerely
Dealing with Criticism
Offering Constructive Criticism• Consider the content
– Limit c. to one topic– Make sure c. is accurate– Define the problem
clearly– Show how your c. can
benefit recipient
• Consider the sender– Choose most credible
critic– Make sure criticism is
appropriate to critic’s role
• Consider the context– Deliver remarks as part
of a positive relationship
– Accept partial responsibility of problem
– Accompany your c. with an offer to help
• Consider the delivery– Deliver c. in a face-
saving manner– Avoid sounding
judgmental
Responding non-defensively to C.• Seek more information
– Ask for examples or clarification– Guess about details of the c.– Paraphrase the critic– Ask what the critic wants
• Agree with the criticism– Agree with the facts– Agree with the critic’s perception
Managing Conflict
Benefits
Ventilate frustrations Solve troublesome problems Promote group loyalty and cohesiveness Make progress towards mutual goal Draw people closer
Approaches to conflict
• Avoiding– Physical or psychological
• Accommodating– Giving up your original position
• Competing– Bargaining approach, power-based approach
• Collaborating– Working together to resolve conflict, assuming
possible• Compromising
– Each party sacrifices something.. Middle-range
Handling Conflict Assertively• Prepare:
– Identify the goal you are seeking– Choose the best time to speak– Rehearse the statement
• Deliver:– Pinpoint the specific behavior– Explain your reaction – interpretation, feelings– Make a request– Describe the consequences – tangible,
intangible
Negotiating Skills
Approaches
Bargaining assumption that only one side can reach its
goals Done out of self-defense or conflict Info about other party is most powerful asset
Lose-Lose Compromise
When disputed resources are limited or scarce Win-Win
Steps: identify needs, brainstorm, evaluate alternatives, implement, follow-up
Which Style to Use
Win-Win or Bargaining? Cooperation vs. competition Power vs. trust Distorted vs. open communication Self-centered vs. mutual concern