15 affirming articles to motivate and encourage you

7/28/2019 15 Affirming Articles to Motivate and Encourage You

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15 Affirming Articles to

Motivate and Encourage you.

Written by:

Marty BoneIdol

Life Chapters. A Self Development site http://lifechapters.net
http://lifechapters.net/http://lifechapters.net/


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About the author:

Marty BoneIdol

A father to 3 children and husband to Christine.

My full time work involves supporting the vulnerable through coaching in

group work and one to one session.

I am also a musician and play trombone, currently with Beggars' Belief, a

7 piece band that plays original material in various gendre including Ska,

Reggae, R&B, Rock, Blues, Soul.

I have been writing since 2006 and was formally featured with Yahoo 360.



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Table of contents

1. How to keep a Positive Frame of Mind.

2. Take Action.

3. Accept positive praise and feedback when it is given.

4. What is the Truth.

5. Learning and Attraction.

6. Faulty All or Nothing Thinking.

7. More on Language Use.

8. You are Alive!

9. The Incredible reason why you exist.

10. Use Memories Positively.

11. Who are You?

12. Choose to accept your natural ability to heal.

13. Proof that the body can naturally heal.

14. A sure fire way to prepare your goals.

15. Finally, a Powerful Exercise to Seal your Future.



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1. How to keep a positive frame of mind.

Keeping positive in self development is essential. The first and

most important lesson here is to learn to file emotions in

appropriate places. If you are feeling sad, down or depressed,

there is no use in trying to deny it.

You can choose to take action.

All feelings and emotions are normal. They are granted to us at

birth for a reason, so we can choose to make positive use of

them. Identify what the emotion is and what is going on in your

body. Remember that whatever is happening is normal.

Recognise and accept that your heart is pounding.

Recognise and accept that you may feel physically sick.

Recognise and accept that you want to cry.

Recognise and accept that you feel uncomfortable.

Recognise and accept panic.

Recognise and accept that thoughts are rushing through

your mind.

Recognise and accept that your energy, both physically and

mentally is drained right now.

You might want to write down or record the above feeling or any

others that you identify. The powerful point of this process is



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that identifying and naming the elements of the stress uncovers

the mystery. When you can see your enemy you can target it

and go on the offensive to deal with it. You can put it

somewhere in your minds filing cabinet to deal with logically

when the time is right. One way of looking at this is to imagine

the what you are feeling is, a room with filing cabinets turned

upside down with papers in a mess everywhere. You can choose

to open the door to the room, pick up a couple of sheets,

identify where they belong, file them in an appropriate place

then leave the room and lock it until the next time you open that

door. Over time, there will be less and less mess to deal with

and you'll feel like you have achieved something. This will fuel a

positive mind by creating evidence that you can make progress.

Try it and and see what happens.

If you still feel bad, I encourage you to seek the assistance of a

counsellor or some one to one coaching. Someone that will listen

to you and help you to find those solutions that are within you.



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2. Take action.

Take action right now! That piece of action can be as small as

you can manage. It may simply be reading the next few

paragraphs of this book. If you stop where you are, that is

where you will remain. Now sometimes we need to stop and

catch breath. Sometimes we need to be self indulgent and feel

sorry for ourselves. Believe me, there is nothing wrong in that

provided we move on. Children have a massive advantage over us

on this subject. Very young children naturally know how to

express emotion and sulk. They also quickly process the emotion

and can link into fun and laughter again. If you have a domestic

pet, you'll see the very same. Let's not get too over intellectual

about this. It is a process and it works.

Here are a couple of analogies for you to consider: -

Life is like the game snakes and ladders. Sometimes we

climb ladders and sometimes we land on snakes.

Occasionally we land on that long snake from square 97

down to square 2. It feels like we are back at the beginning

but believe me, it never is. Keep rolling the dice. Those that

get stuck where they are, forget that simply process of

rolling the dice.



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I've demonstrated this successfully in a group. Hold a

tennis ball in your hand and bend your knees. After a while

you'll feel uncomfortable. If you drop the ball it will

bounce. If you throw the ball down it will bounce higher. If

you bounce the ball and aim it for a bucket on a shelf you'll

have a focused goal. The point is that taking action by

bouncing the ball and hitting rock bottom is action. The

harder you hit rock bottom, the higher you will bounce

back. However, when you bounce back with direction, you'll

be aiming for successfully landing in that bucket. You might

miss it first time. You might miss it several times, but with

each attempt, you'll get closer and eventually you'll land in

the bucket. Your life has an unlimited supply of tennis balls.

Use them!



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3. Accept positive praise and feedback when it is given.

This is a true gift. We are experts at giving praise and

affirmation to others. These people are usually the famous. Film

stars, authors, successful business people, pop and rock icons,

leaders, teachers, people that perform super human feats.

What is their motivation for doing what they do?

If they did not receive some sort of recognition, they would not

do it. Sadly, some find it hard to accept the affirmations and

are filled with self doubt despite the recognition they receive.

I challenge you to accept the affirmations you receive when you

get them however small that may appear to you. If you have got

this far in reading my book, then I praise you for achieving your

desire to seek self improvement. You have tenacity to get this

far! You are choosing to learn. Take some credit for your

positivity. Now you have done that, recognise that you can

accept affirmations from others.

If someone has written you a letter or email of praise and

thanks for something you have done, keep is as a most precious

gift. It is equivalent to an Olympic gold medal, a diamond

encrusted ring or a 24 carat golden trophy. The individual words

are the precious and rare treasure gems that are yours to own.

Fully accept your gift with grace and thankfulness. Keep it safe



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and protected. Go look at it regularly and enjoy it!



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4. What is the truth?

This is the most ancient of questions that continues to be

asked. It is a question asked in many ancient and modern texts.

It is written that Pontius Pilate asked Jesus What is the

truth? I'll go on to mention the somewhat frivolous example of

the Douglas Adams book The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy

where the question is asked about life, the universe and

everything.

The truth is our own perception of life as we see it. That is

what makes us all unique. We can choose to listen to perceived

wisdom and accept or reject it. We have been granted that

choice with our intellect. From that notion, we can set our

personal boundaries. We may choose to influence others, but to

enforce that influence, if we are not careful can be folly indeed!

The world is full of enforcers. Look where that has got us.

Here's a process: - Listen, evaluate and decide for yourself

what is best for you as an individual. If it is not working, then

maybe you are out of alignment with your truth.



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5. Learning and Attraction.

If we learn to love ourselves, it will enable us to love others and

attract others to love us.

If we learn to forgive ourselves, we learn to forgive others and

others will be attracted to forgiving us our shortcomings.

If we learn to care about ourselves, we learn how to care

effectively for others and others will be attracted to caring for

us.

If we learn to laugh at ourselves, we learn to laugh at others

appropriately and we are attracted to laughter and comedy.

If we learn to be truthful to ourselves, we learn to speak the

truth and others will be attracted to the truth we speak.

If we learn to be in touch with and understand our emotions, we

learn to understand the emotions of others and develop

appropriate empathy. Others will be attracted to trust us.

If we learn to have purpose in our life, we learn to understand

the purpose in the lives of others and they become attracted to

supporting our purpose.



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6. Faulty all or nothing thinking.

Be aware of what influences how you think and how you use

language. Words we use can have a blocking and negative effect

upon our lives. They can be self defeating.

We make a choice to accept or reject what we hear. It affects

whether we become motivated, the nature of that motivation

and what drives it.

I ask you to consider a statement I'm certain you will have

experienced in the past.

" You always ..........." "You never ........." (enter whatever negative

piece of feedback you received).

Consider your reaction to the statement.

An example of a statement made to a child or young person.

"What are you doing? Why haven't you done as I asked? You are

just lazy and selfish."

The young person chooses how to react to this statement.

He/she may choose to accept that accusation in its entirety.

This may cause de-motivation and depression. Self talk comes in

"I am lazy and selfish. I am a bad person. I am not worthy of

love and acceptance."

There may also be anger. This anger may motivate in a negative

fashion.



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" You think I'm lazy and selfish? I'll show you how lazy and

selfish I can be. I'm going to shock you by proving how much you

have underestimated how lazy and selfish I am!"

This is a kind of rejection of the accusation made because the

person didn't believe the "lazy, selfish" label put on them, but

felt unable to counter this, so chose to become the label, and

some!

This is likely what causes rebellion in teenagers. The person

loses a sense of "self" and becomes something they are not.

Self esteem plummets.

In the book The Lord of the Rings, we can see this in action.

Smeagal finds the ring and chooses to believe the lies it tells

him. He becomes Gollum. This is the personality that has been

fragmented. Gollum is consumed with selfishness and carries

the burden of the ring. It affects him so badly that even when

he loses it, he is unable to find his true self. The ring has

enormous power. The greater the power of it's opposite, the

more powerful it will become if it is accepted. Gandalf

suspected this when he went to pick up the ring that Bilbo

dropped.

From another scene in the film (or book). Smeagal/Gollum is

haunted by his negative self talk.



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"Smeagal. I told you he was tricksy."

Smeagal had begun to re-discover himself, but fell foul of his

negative self talk, Gollum.

A way of approaching this problem is by investigating what is

really going on when we receive what we perceive to be negative

feedback.

Is it true in its entirety? (Unlikely)

Is there some element of truth?

What do I accept and what can I learn?

This is another filing exercise. There is the process of disposing

that which is not useful to us and does not belong to us. Those

documents need shredding. We can choose to filter what is

useful to us and file it appropriately for use in a positive fashion

for our life ahead.



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7. More on Language use.

The use of language is complex to say the least. Stating the

obvious, children learn by what they hear and as they get older

they learn to understand. Children also learn by copying what

they see and hear.

There comes a time in our lives when we feel stuck. We seek

answers to aspects of our lives and can at times get lost in the

mire of so much influence, or in some cases so much choice.

To continue to develop on an emotional level, there is sometimes

a need to break old habits and dispose of what is not useful. We

can compare this to nature when growing a tree. In order for it

to flourish, grow broad as well as tall and to bear fruit, some

careful pruning is needed.

Here is how we can change our interpretation of language.

Consider these two statements:

You did that on purpose!

You did that with a purpose

The meanings are the same, but the emotions in the two are

different.

That first statement tends to get used in a negative sense. For

me, in generates a vision of 2 siblings having an argument about

who has control of a game. One of them becomes frustrated and



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lashes out or breaks something belonging to the other out of

anger and frustration, resulting in the reply You did that on

purpose!

Consider what you are doing right now.

Are you doing it with a purpose?

Do you have a focus for your life?

When using the word purpose it is possible to re-frame its use

from the negative to the positive. It is a powerful word fuelled

with emotion and energy.

You have permission to choose which direction you follow when

using words fuelled with emotion and energy.

I encourage you to choose to consider the words and language

you use throughout your day. You might want to catch yourself

in what you say or think.

Work out what the emotion is.

Make a note of that emotion.

Is it positive or is it negative?

Do the statements, words, phrases, sentences, language you use

drain your emotional (and subsequent physical) energy or do you

feel positive, motivated and energised?

Sometimes, anger needs to be expressed. There is a time and

place for that. The overall evaluation to consider is Does my



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expressed anger help and assist me? If that anger is

expressed and let go, can you then move on and fill the void

created with some new, positive and energised thought?

Having an understanding and awareness of the use of language

assists us in managing our emotions appropriately. We are

entitled to have emotions, so feeling sad, tearful, angry, happy,

joyful, ecstatic (you may think of other emotions not listed

here) are acceptable. What is useful here is how you use your

understanding of the emotion for a clear and useful purpose.

Or, you may choose to consider some simplicity in the matter

and observe how children manage their emotions. Well adjusted

children express their emotions openly. If they are upset, they

are very quickly (within minutes, seconds even) able to move on

with a new focus bearing no grudges about what has happened. I

have even witnessed evidence of this in vulnerable teenagers

that I have worked with when they would fall out and express

intention to seriously hurt a peer. I would in some cases

encourage the victim to take legal action against the

perpetrator, only to discover they would be best friends again

in a matter of days!



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8. You are alive!

There is a reason for this. It is a mission. Are you going to

choose to accept it?

The fact that we all exist as human beings must have some

reason. We have choice to a large degree in what we do with our

lives, even if that is simply how we choose to think.

So...... we can choose to decide that our life has some meaning.

Lets face it, why not? If we choose not to, then the future will

seem pretty bleak and we will simply be submissive to whatever

the world throws at us.

If you are reading this, be aware that you chose to read it. You

made a conscious decision to do so. The page did not choose you,

you chose it! You exercised your power of choice. If someone is

reading this to you, you have chosen to listen to it. We have the

power to determine so many parts of our lives.

Make a decision about today.

Make a decision about tomorrow.

Do this in the clear knowledge that you CAN determine your

future, whatever that may be.



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9. The incredible reason why you exist.

How do you see the purpose of your life?

Do you see yourself as someone of significance or do you think

that you are alive just by some sort of accident?

These are questions that cause all sorts of debate and

argument, particularly with regard to Religious debates. Im

not going into that here.

I strongly feel this is important for you to consider and

evaluate!

The fact that we exist is the result of desire and passion. It

doesnt matter which way you look at it or where the energy of

MOTIVATION comes from, it IS the result of those to key

words. DESIRE and PASSION.

If you want to get an idea of how passionate I feel, check the

video I have produced for my Life Chapters Coaching Page.

click here.

Desire and passion have ENERGY, both physical and emotional.

Now dont get me wrong. Im no scientific expert. My words

simply come from inspirational thought. It just happened!

The whole point is, are we going to waste the energy that is in

us generated from the passion and desire that created us or are

we going to make positive use of it?



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It seems to be pretty obvious that millions of people choose to

waste that energy on worry, stress and giving up on dreams and

aspirations. We all have the opportunity to use that fantastic

and miraculous energy created for us. It is indeed the ultimate

gift in our lives.

Step up to the plate today. Hold your head high with the

knowledge of the truth in the energy created for you out of

desire. If you hold a spiritual belief, you likely attribute that

energy and desire granted by God, or however you have the

right to perceive ....

Humanity is there to help.

To help friends, family, strangers, take care of animals and

creatures, look after the environment, explore, gain wisdom,

inspire, multiply, love........ (Im sure youll think of many more.)

Do you get my passion?

Are you able to feed off that passion?



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10. Use your memories positively.

There are many memories that we have, some pleasant and some

we would rather forget. Trying to ignore painful memories does

not serve us well. They are still there under the surface and can

contaminate the rest of our lives if we don't deal with them

appropriately. By visiting those memories, we have the chance to

set ourselves free from the pain and achieve life goals.

Are you prepared to use your memories as a tool to help you

grow?

Do you want to live the rest your life in "Millionaire" style with

emotional freedom and success? This does not only refer to

finances alone. Wealth (as in money) is not the most important

aspect. If you choose spiritual wealth and wealth of attitude

and gratitude, then finances may well come to you as a gift.



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11. Who are you?

"Who is the child with no voice?

lost and unseen,

A watermark of tear,

full of fear,

neglected and broken,

missing and unknown,

who will atone?

Where is the space,

full of grace,

to heal....

Who is the child?............................."

I wrote this some while ago during a particular challenging time.

There is great benefit in crying out for help. The benefit of

evaluating this now is that I realize that I had completely lost

my sense of identity for a while. This loss of identity is the root

cause of low self esteem and low confidence. It had been there

for a long time, but I could not see that root cause. I was

fortunate enough to have a small amount of strength to work

through the pain and get on the journey of re-discovering

myself. This continues to be an ongoing process and the journey

is now rolling along at speed on a clear run.



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If you feel lost, you have a divine right to cry out and ask for

help. When you get to that point, you simply have nothing to

lose. The good news is that humanity does provide that help.

There is always someone with a conscience who will make that

step. Keep seeking. Embrace that desire.



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12. Choose to accept your natural ability heal.

If you cut your finger, you will notice that the blood will clot,

dry and seal the wound. Eventually, a scab will form and as the

body naturally replaces itself, the wound will fully heal. This

happens to a greater or lesser extent according to how healthy

we are in general.

It is worth noting that our bodies are designed to heal as part

of a natural process. We have the ability to actively allow this

natural process to happen. It is the brain and mind that controls

the body in the first instance. Our brain is the computer that

ensures our heart continues to beat and that our blood

continues to flow. Our body needs the sustenance of healthy

food and water as maintenance.

In the same way, we can choose to feed our minds with healthy

information. Our healthy mind can assist our body in the natural

healing process. A healthy and well fed body will assist our mind

to attract positive thoughts.

One way we can choose to balance our mind with an appropriate

amount of positive thought is to use meditation.

You can choose to try meditation. This can compliment

traditional treatments such as medication for illnesses. This is

not an attempt to give you false hope; it is to inform you that



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you can allow yourself to try something different and be open

minded enough to see if it works for you.

Why not try tapping into your bodys natural ability to heal?

There are many, many articles written on this subject going

back thousands of years. So why have I chosen to write about

this subject as well? By doing so, I believe I am renewing the

core message with fresh energy as others have done before me.



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13. Proof that the body can naturally heal.

Have you ever experienced that moment of feeling particularly

unwell with all the symptoms enhanced?

Have you then suddenly felt miraculously better the moment

you have called your doctor and made an appointment, followed

by the symptoms almost disappearing the moment you actually

visit the doctor? Theres a temptation to put it on a bit to

justify the reason for calling the doctor in the first place.

That wishful thinking I suspect can actually make the illness

worse, simply by calling it into being.

It generates a bit of guilt doesnt it.

In truth, that the mere action of doing something about it

(calling the doctor) triggers our bodies natural response to heal.

Somehow, we have some sort of faith that we will be healed

because we have apportioned some of the responsibility onto

someone else the doctor. Without realising it, we have set

ourselves a goal I must call the doctor followed by actions

making that call. Its a simple and natural process.



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14. A sure fire way to prepare your goals.

Businesses and organisations that seek to be successful and

professional generally have a mission statement. If they have a

policy and procedure manual, I've no doubt that when they

developed it, they started with a mission statement. I've

worked where there has been attention to this. During those

times, I was pretty cynical and failed to see the relevance.

There was rebellion in me for being forced to comply to an

extent.

A couple of years ago, I had a revelation about the purpose of a

mission statement. It certainly is a GOAL.

I've done some research on some corporate missions

statements.

WAL-MART

"Our mission is to enhance and integrate our supplier diversity

programs into all of our procurement practices and to be an

advocate for minority and women owned businesses"

OK. So cool! Wal-Mart has a mission statement. Consider

whether you fully understand the meaning of the statement.

Now try another.

The online store AMAZON

"Our vision is to be earth's' most customer centric company, to



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build a place where people can come to find and discover

anything they might want to buy online"

Is this one easier or harder to understand? I'll leave you to

decide.

A lack of understanding of a mission statement can cause the

workforce to have a lack of direction, purpose and motivation.

Individuals (particularly managers) can be in danger of focussing

too much upon day to day running, reports, procedures and box

ticking exercises. These are of course important, but may not

necessarily have a conscious and subconscious link to the

foundations of a clear mission statement.

So referring back to goals, we can choose to apply a personal

mission statement to our lives. This will give us purpose,

motivation, direction and energy. It will also build self

confidence and self esteem.

Do you have a personal mission statement?

If so, can you write it down in language that you and others

understand?

If you do this, I'm suggesting that you will discover a life goal. I

challenge you to work out what your life mission is and to

develop a statement for it. Once you have done this, check to

see if your current goals are compatible with your mission



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statement. Don't worry if they are not. Goals can be a "work in

progress". In other words, they can be amended and don't have

to be the final product. You can choose to fine tweak them.

Now in order to practice this for myself, I'm going to write a

draft personal mission statement.

"To live a life of joy and purpose. To continue to learn to accept,

respect and be kind to myself so that I can successfully accept,

respect and be kind to others. To Motivate, Encourage,

Empower and Trust others. To enjoy the gift of humour and to

laugh often by not taking myself too seriously. To recognise

that all aspect of life have natural balance; so allow nature to

perform that balance".

Now it is your turn.



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15. Finally, a powerful exercise to seal your future

So... You have got this far in the book. I'm guessing that you

haven't skipped too much.

This is an exercise that I have tried in different ways. I

experienced the positives for myself and seen positive results

for others. This is a wisdom builder!

This will take no more than half an hour of your time.

Here is what you need: -

1. An A4 sheet of paper and a pen.

2. An envelope.

3. Use of a calendar or diary.

4. A lit candle and a coin, or something that will make an

impression. (not strictly necessary)

Now the instructions: -

Write your full name and todays date at the top of the sheet

of paper.

VERY IMPORTANT!

Do NOT share the following content you write with anybody.

You might want to imagine interviewing a little version of

yourself sitting opposite you as you carry out the exercise,

recording the answers.



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NOTE: I Give credit to Steven Aitchison for inspiration in designing this

exercise.

Write down 3 things you love to do.

Write down 3 career goals or jobs you would love to do.

Write down 3 of your best talents (Dont be shy!)

Write down 3 things people say you are good at.

Write down 3 things you want to learn.

Write down 3 things you want to leave behind in your life.

With regard to your talents (that Im guessing some of you may

find difficult) be aware that talents may be the very simple

things in life such as being able to cook a meal or make a drink

or being a good friend to somebody.

If you can think of more than 3 things in each case, write down

the 3 FIRST things that come into your head. Dont change

them!

When you have done this, put it in an envelope, write your name

on it and write a date six months onward from the date you

have completed the exercise.

Seal the envelope and sign across the fold.

If you have a lit candle, drip the candle wax across the fold of

the envelope and make an impression with something like a coin

or ideally something that is precious to you. A ring perhaps. Be

http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/http://lifechapters.net/http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk/blog/http://lifechapters.net/


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careful with the lit candle!

Place the envelope in a safe place hidden away somewhere.

Write in your diary or calendar an entry for 6 months onward

reminding you to open your envelope. Ensure you record the safe

place you have stored it!

You may be wondering why I have asked you not to share the

content with anyone. This is deliberate because I want you to

ensure that you are not influenced by how you may perceive

others may judge what you have written. It must not be

influenced by any other outside influence. This will help you to

get in touch with your true self.

-----ooooo0000oooo----

If you have found the contents of this book use and are interested in some

one to one coaching, you can contact me via the following email address:

[email protected]

You can also search and contact me on Skype as: marty_boneIdol

Wishing you every success and blessing

Marty
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]

15 affirming articles to motivate and encourage you

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