18 DERBY EVENING TELEGRAPH, Monday, March 14, 2005 DERBY EVENING TELEGRAPH, Monday, March 14, 2005 19

THE TEENAGED SON

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Monday: The doctor says my sore throat isinfectious so I can’t go to school today ortomorrow. Hooray! I am sure my teachers willmiss me. Not! God is smiling down on me.Gave me oodles of time to dwell on my greatweekend, which was a blast! My team won atfootball, and then I went to watch DerbyCounty play at home. Had to make notes, as Iwas writing the fan’s view of the match for theEvening Telegraph. But devotion to duty hasits drawbacks. I insisted on staying to the veryend, then dad got stuck in the usualafter-match city centre gridlock – for one anda half hours! He wasn’t pleased. Anyway, backto me being off school and perilously ill(tee-hee). Today I finally received myLivestrong and Stand Up, Speak Upwristbands, as did my brother and sister – andmum, and dad. For anyone who doesn’t know,these are fashionable wristbands sold forcharity. Mum says they look like they are fromthe swimming baths. They do but they’re cool.Tuesday: Did nothing all day – again. Still fartoo poorly to venture to school with myterrible infection. Just following doctor’sorders! Spent the day watching Monty Pythonand the Holy Grail over and over again, whichmy brother thought quite sad. Having reflectedon it a little, I can see his point. But I can’thelp watching hilarious films. It keeps me outof trouble with mum, dad and stepdad. Afterthat, had a game of Football Manager 2005and won the Champions League with Derby –and signed David Beckham for a bargainprice. Rams chiefs, you know where I am if

you need me.Wednesday: Can you believe my luck? Firstthe doc signs me off sick and today, when Ishould have gone back to school, it’s a teachertraining day. It feels like Christmas. Me andbrother are off, yet again but my sister’sschool is open as normal (ha! ha!). She’s not ahappy bunny. She is in one of her very sullenmoods anyway because she’s jealous of mineand dad’s new mobile phones. She often sitsstaring at them in awe. Tough! Anyway, withanother day of leisure to enjoy, I went down tothe local driving range, where I ended uphitting five golf balls about five yards, andthen did a “Happy Gilmore” and ran up to theball whilst swinging. The ball ended up overthe trees and I never saw it again. Oh well, Igot one ball into a target at least.Thursday: All good things come to an end. Ihad to go back to school for another dose ofSats fright. This is a particular teacher torturewhich involves scaring you witless about thetests before forcing you to sit mocks. Had todo a mental maths test in which I got 22 out of30. The person who sits next to me gloated ashe got 28. Mind you, I was feeling extremelypoorly. All say “aaaah”.Friday: Football training was cancelled due tobad weather, so I stayed in the warm, feelingquite sorry for my friends who HAD to train,because they had an important match in themorning. Mmm... it was nice and toasty upagainst the radiator watching their faces turnice white as they battled the elements.Saturday: Won again in football (we’re fourthin our league). Afterwards I managed toovercome my sore throat problems bedevouring a huge McDonald’s. Suppose thatawful antibiotic medicine mum has beenramming down my throat all week, hasworked. Trouble is, it’s not only when it goesinto your body that it stinks!

“Still far too poorly toventure to school withmy terrible infection.”

“This has really brought it home to me howtough life must be for a lot of people.”

THANK goodness you’rehere on time – we’restarving,” is not thekind of pre-interviewwelcome I’m used to

but, after four days of living onnext to nothing, I feared the Uni-versity of Derby students I wasmeeting might actually be con-templating eating me.

My arrival at their digs in Uttoxeter New Road,coincided with their main meal of the day, which,by combining resources, the four students man-aged to put together for £2.

One supplied pasta, another a tin of tomatoes,another a loaf and another – luxury of luxury –some cheese. They also allowed themselves aclove of garlic to brighten up a bland sauce.

“This is what we’ve been living on for the lastfour days,” said David Twomey (32), president ofthe university’s People and Planet Society, whichled a $2 (£1.06) a day challenge to demonstrate justhow tough life is for people in poorer countries.

Some two billion people in the developing worldsurvive on the paltry sum of $2 a day.

For five days at least, from March 5, around 30University of Derby students did the same.

As well as underlining the world’s inequalities,the event, part of Derby’s Fair Trade fortnight, willhelp the university in its bid to become the 10thuniversity in the country to gain Fair Trade status –something David hopes will be confirmed by theend of term.

But the students were not simply making astatement. They also gained sponsorship and,when all the cash has been counted, hope to have£3,000, which David and fellow Third WorldDevelopment students Kevin Mundy (23) andKevin Rayson (21), will personally deliver to aWidows’ Co-operative in Gambia, which they aredue to visit as part of their course next month.

“It’s great because we can follow this throughfrom beginning to end,” said David. “And, asstudents on our course go to Gambia every year, wewill be able to find out how the money hasbenefited people. The Widows’ Association wantsto use the money to buy a herd of goats to enablepeople to have milk and cheese.

“At least we have plenty of shops and marketsnearby to buy food and drink. You forget that otherpeople haven’t.”

In fact, Derby’s Guildhall market has seen a lotof the students in recent days. They swear by it forbargains and, with money so tight, have had tocount every penny. “We could only have survivedon £1 a day as a team,” explained David. “Youcouldn’t afford to do it otherwise. We have metevery night to share a meal together.”

Nevertheless, by day four of their five-day $2 aday challenge, they were hungry – very hungry –particularly David and Kevin Mundy.

“You do start to obsess about the things youcan’t have,” said Kevin. “I’ve almost run out of

‘

“I don’t think manypeople sing songs about

dirty nappies andburning the tea.”

IN reply to the comments from Fathers 4 JusticeEast Midlands co-ordinator Fraser Chatburn inlast Monday’s Family Matters.The point that I was trying to make that does

not appear to have been highlighted by JillGallone, is that, at four years of age, my daughterJane (not real name), is already displaying signsthat she does not wish to go to her father foraccess visits. However I am bound by a courtorder that has been imposed by my ex-husband tomore or less force her to go against her wishes asshe is deemed too young to have reasonability.

As I mentioned, her father provides no morethan that which is ordered by the CSA, eitherfinancially or in time or effort between visits.

Simply showing interest in her life may go along way towards improving my opinion of himand his family. And yes, for a four-year-old childto be dragged out of bed and driven throughrush-hour traffic for an hour before school at8:45am is most definitely detrimental to herwell-being. Any person with the child’s welfare inmind could see that.

Frustration, irritability, aggression, retaliationand militancy, all words used by Mr Chatburn, arein their inception filled with negativity, and arenever going to lead to a satisfactory outcome forany of the parties in this situation, particularly thechildren.

Let’s not forget that they, after all, are the mostimportant people in these scenarios. ThroughoutMr Chatburn’s reply his focus has been on theadult (himself?)and not the needs of the childinvolved, and this appears quite obviously to bethe focus of Fathers 4 Justice.

This is the reason I find them so infuriating.My point quite simply is this. That in continuingin the same manner, the group continues toremove the focus from the child to highlight theirown plight. I suggest that a swallowing ofover-inflated pride by those “adults” involved,whether the absentee be father, mother orgrandparent, will have a more beneficial outcomein the long run.

What does it matter that any parent has a legalright to see a child, if that is diametricallyopposed to the needs and wants of that particularchild? This should be the case ONLY if it is in thebest interest of THE CHILD.

I am appalled that Mr Chatburn continues toextol what I believe to be the myth that theresident carer is almost always vindictive.

I truly believe that the basic mothering instinctis one of protection towards their offspring.Would not a fox bite back if her young werethreatened? The sheer fact that Mr Chatburnadmits that F4J high jinks threaten these people’sown cases, suggests that their loyalties do not restwith their own children but with their ownpompous egos.

Again I state, these children grow, and developin response to their experiences. They becomethinking individuals with opinions of their veryown. I support the notion of equal responsibleparenting, but fail to see how this can be achievedwhen one of the parents is wearing his underpantsover his tights! So, Mr Chatburn, I gracefully turndown your most gracious offer of joining Fathers4 Justice. I have a child to concentrate on!

Josie (name and address supplied).

✉More letters on this subject coming up nextweek. To join the debate, e-mail

family@derbytelegraph.co.uk or write to: FamilyMatters, Derby Telegraph, Meadow Road, DerbyDE1 2DW.

Fathers 4 Justice’put own needsbefore children’s’

● TALKINGPOINT: Lastweek’sFathers 4Justicedeba tefea tu re,published inFamil yMa tte r s . Forced to stay

off school –doctors orders!

tobacco and soon won’t be able to smoke.“It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. If the

money was just to cover food you could managebut that £1 has to cover transport and universitycosts too. I had to pay to get an assignment printedand we have to buy folders to present out work inso the money’s been really stretched.”

The students, who normally live on between £30and £50 a week, also discovered that legs weremade for walking.

‘We’ve walked miles and miles,” said BethSherlock (21). “I turned up at one lecturevery red-faced. It was only a 35-minute walk

but it was all uphill.“One trip on the student bus is £1 so we’ve been

walking everywhere,” said David.“And that’s made us even hungrier,” laughed

Beth. “One thing I have noticed is that you can’tafford to live healthily on such a small amountbecause veg is so expensive.

“It’s back to basics – staple foods like bread, rice

and pasta,” said David. “We haven’t been able toafford meat at all.

“One of my meals was a 7p can of beans on toastwithout butter. Not nice. And when I rang my mumon Mother’s Day all she did was munch chocolatebiscuits down the other end of the phone.”

“This has really brought it home to me howtough life must be for a lot of people,” said KevinMundy. “And we only had to do it for five days.You also take for granted that you have the optionof medicine and doctors. It highlights how resilientpeople in poorer countries are.”

“We’ve succeeded in showing global inequal-ities in a simple way,” said David.

“And everyone can make a difference simply bybuying Fair Trade products,” said Kevin.

If you see the Fair Trade mark on goods it meanssuppliers have been paid a fair price for theirproducts, enabling them to develop a better stand-ard of living. Most supermarkets now sell FairTrade tea, coffee, chocolate and bananas, amongother items.

Ann Hart of Derby Fair Trade group has beendelighted by the students’ efforts and pointed out:“Buying just one item a week, such as a bunch ofbananas, will make a difference and encouragesupermarkets to stock more Fair Trade produce.”

SURVIVING ONA FIVER FORFIVE DAYS

As part of Derby’s Fair Trade fortnight, which hasjust drawn to a close, 30 University of Derbystudents survived on the equivalent of $2 a day(£1.06), the amount two billion people live on inthe developing world. Jill Gallone found out howa group of them got on.

● TEAMING UP: University of Derby students, from left, Kevin Rayson, Beth Sherlock, DavidTwomey and Kevin Mundy tuck into a pasta dish they cobbled together for £2 by poolingresources during the $2 a day challenge.

Picture: Ian Hogdkinson IH080305D-1

DERBY mums who rockedtheir way into the nationallimelight after starting theirown punk band – becausethey wanted a break from

childcare chores and dirty nappies– are nursing a golden moment.

Aptly named punk rockers The Mothers, whoformed last year, have been invited to perform inAmerica.

The five-strong band will go to New York in Mayto join the fourth annual Mamapalooza – a festivalfor mothers who rock. They plan to sing a selectionof their self-penned songs, which cover aspects ofbeing a mum, including pregnancy, having twins,being a step-mum, nits and cooking the tea.

The women hope to stay in America for a week,and some of them will take their children withthem.

“We are really excited,” said singer Claire Arm-strong (37), of Moss Street, Derby. “We recentlyfound out that ‘mum rock’ was big in America, andthen we got this invite.

“It’s great for The Mothers and it is great forDerby. We’re putting this city on the map and we’rereally pleased about that.

“Obviously we’ve got to find the cash to go andthat’s going to be tough for us, but it’s importantthat we go. We really want to meet the other bandsand share our music with them.”

The Mothers, who describe themselves as araucous but tuneful bunch, performed their debutgig in Derby last May. Since then they’ve playedseveral more gigs, the last one being on Mother’sDay a couple of weeks ago.

The mums aim to meet up every week to rehearsebut that rarely happens. Between them they haveeight children and that inevitably means othercommitments get in the way.

Beth de Lange (36) of Chestnut Avenue, Derby,is the group’s guitarist and backing singer. She hasa 10-year-old son, Oliver, who will accompanyingher to New York.

“I don’t think many people sing songs about dirtynappies and burning the tea,” she smiled. “As far aswe know, we’re the only all-mothers punk band in

the UK. We got together because we felt we neededa complete break from all our maternal duties.

“We’ve been meeting in my cellar every week sowe can sing and play our instruments. We ab-solutely love it.”

As yet, The Mothers haven’t secured spon-sorship for their trip, but they’re hoping readersmight help. They estimate that they will needaround £2,500 to fund their flights to New York.

Band member Henry Hinds, who has atwo-year-old daughter, Jasmine Cope-Hinds, hasmade it her mission to find funding.

“I contacted pet shop Pet Mart in Beeston, andthe manager said the store would give us adonation. I don’t know how much it might be, butwe’re grateful for that,” she said.

“All we’ve got to do is find money for our flights.Some of the American band members have offeredto put us up when we get there, so we’re not goingto need hotels. It’s really exciting.”

A fter the Evening Telegraph broke the story aboutThe Mothers’ first gig last May, the band havebeen inundated with press attention. An article

appeared in The Guardian and the women wereinvited to appear on GMTV.

Local radio and TV covered their first gig at TheVic Inn, Derby, and, following that, the bandrecorded a CD and set up their own website.

Drummer Izzy Drury (32), of Fleet Street, Derby,is a full-time mum to two-year-old twins Francesand Louis, and Floyd (four). Despite having three

kids and a busy life, she aims to never miss arehearsal. And now they’re set to perform inAmerica, she’s even more committed.

“When we got the invite, I didn’t know what Iwas going to do,” she said. “With three kids, I knewI couldn’t easily jet off to New York. But I havegreat family back-up – thank goodness for grand-parents. I’ve just about got my childcare sorted out.Now all I have to do is pay for my flight.”

On top of their money worries, The Mothers haveanother cause for concern – what they’re goingto wear. They’ve decided they need a style

consultation, or donations in the form of funkypunk gear.

“We were considering wearing stereotypicalclothes that a mum might wear,” said Beth. “Likerollers, and hair nets and pinafores and featherdusters, but we didn’t think that was particularlyattractive. So any suggestions would be greatlyappreciated. I think I’m worrying the most becauseI don’t really have many clothes.”

Over the years the women have become firmfriends and shared their personal experiences ofbeing parents.

They’ve helped each other cope with the stressesand strains of motherhood and have always stuckby one another.

For them, this trip to America marks a specialtime in their lives because it’s such a greatachievemen t .

Vocalist Nicci Wilson (35) of Beeston, isstep-mother to 11-year-old Tallissa, and has anine-month-old son, Elvin. At their debut gig, shewas eight months pregnant and celebrated im-minent motherhood by cutting a huge hole in herdress so her belly was revealed to the audience.

“I’ll be taking Elvin with me,” she said. “Icouldn’t possibly leave him behind. It’s a greatoppo r t u ni t y.”

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To find out more about The Mothers. log ontow w w. t hemo t he r s .co. u k

● TOUGH TASK:Around 30

University ofDerby students

had to eat, drink,work and play(though there

wasn’t much play)on just a fiver forthe best part of a

week. THE MOTHERSSET TO ROCKNEW YORK

THE MOTHERSSET TO ROCKNEW YORK

A punk rock band made up of Derby mums havereceived a dream invitation to take their music toAmerica. Wendy Roberts repor ts.

● BIG APPLE:The glitz and

glamour of theNew Yorkskyline by

night.

● LIVES OFCONTRAST: Right,

The Mothers attheir debut giglast May. From

left, Henry Hindson bass, Nicci

Wilson and ClaireArmstrong on

vocals, Izzy Druryon drums and

Beth de Lange onguitar. Left: A

different side oflife for Beth deLange, seen in

No rman ton’sArboretum Park

with her sonOliver de Lange

(10 ).

Famil y Matter s Famil y Matter s