The Granny AwardsScene I

All of the characters enter the stage and sit in their seats. Prof enters and goes to the microphone. The awards are brought in and placed on the table. Sneezy enters

and places his chair in front of the awards.

Prof: Ladies, Gentleman and Characters, may I have your attention. (everyone gets quiet) I’m Prof, one of Snow White’s Helpers, and it is my pleasure to be the Master of Ceremonies for the First Annual Granny Awards. This is a live performance which we are taping for the FTC, the Fairy Tale Channel. Before we go on the air in just a few minutes, we need to go over a few things. First of all, please remain seated. We also ask that you applaud generously when Wheezy and Wimpy enter with the applause signs. (Wheezy and Wimpy walk by holding applause signs for audience to clap) That’s great! Now, before we get things rolling, we are going to take five. (Prof exits stage with Wheezy and Wimpy)

Sparky: (talking to Snoozy) Hey Snoozy, you had better stay here and guard the awards. You never know who could sneak up and take one! (exits stage)

Snoozy: Okay Sparky. (sits down in chair and starts to fall asleep. Quickly stands back up) I’d better not sit down or I’ll fall asleep. That’s the trouble with me. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat. If that happens during the show, these awards could get lost or even stolen! (sighs) I wish I could stay awake.

(bells jingle and Fairy Godmother enters the stage by Snoozy)

Fairy Godmother: Hello Snoozy!

Snoozy: Who are you?

FG: Alice in Wonderland. NOT! Seriously, I’m your fairy godmother Snoozy.

Snoozy: I have a fairy Godmother?

FG: Of course you do silly. You’re a fairy tale character. All fairy tale characters have fairy godmothers.

Snoozy: Oh yea? What about Aladdin?

FG: Okay, so he had a lamp. What’s the difference? Now, Snoozy, you just wished that you could stay awake and I’m here to grant you that wish.

Snoozy: How are you going to do that?

FG: Just like this. Do you see those people out there? (points to audience) When I wave my magic wand at those wonderful people, they will shout, “Wake up Snoozy!”

Snoozy: They will?

FG: Listen. (Waves wand at the audience)

Everybody: Wake up Snoozy!

FG: Oh goodness, you guys are going to have to say it louder than that! Let’s try once more. (waves wand again)

Everybody: Wake up Snoozy!

FG: That was better, but this time give it all you’ve got. (Waves wand again)

Everybody: WAKE UP SNOOZY!

Snoozy: Oh wow! That should keep me awake.

FG: Of course it will. Now just relax and take your seat.

Snoozy: Don’t say relax.

FG: You’ll be just fine. Don’t worry. (leaves stage)

Prof comes back on stage with Wheezy, Wimpy, and Sparky

Prof: Ladies and Gentleman, we are ready to begin.

Sparky: In Five, Four, Three, Two and ACTION!

“The Granny Awards”

Scene 2Announcer: And now, introducing our Master of Ceremonies, one of Snow White’s helpers-

PROF! (Wheezy and Wimpy walk by with applause signs. Prof walks up to the Mic)

Prof: Thank you, Thank you. I’m pleased to be your host for this evenings events. Before I announce tonight’s first winner, it is my privilege to introduce the person whose retirement we are all celebrating. Ladies, Gentleman, and Characters, please help me welcome Granny! (applause signs. Granny walks onto stage and stands beside Prof. Good evening Granny!

Granny: Good evening Pro!

Prof: It’s Prof, Granny.

Granny: Well, in my storybook, you’re a pro, Prof.

Prof: Thanks Granny.

Granny: Your welcome.

Prof: Well Granny, the reason we are all here tonight is to celebrate your retirement after 80 years in the show biz.

Granny: Has it been that long already? Why it seems like only yesterday that I began playing the part of grandmother in Little Red Riding Hood.

Prof: Why did you decide to retire at this point in your life?

Granny: Well, I guess I’m just tired of being tied up by that silly old wolf. You know, he’s been talking to me all week about his desire to get an award- but then, so have all the other fairy tale characters.

Prof: It certainly is generous of you to go behind the scenes and produce and awards show honoring these dedicated fairy tale characters who still entertain us.

Granny: It’s my pleasure. They deserve it!

Prof: Well Granny, it’s time to take your seat of honor and we will get started. Can I get the first envelope? (Sparky brings envelope) The first award for this evening is for Best Female Vocalist. The Winner is………..Ladies and Gentleman, I’m going to ask the Chorus to introduce our winner.

“Snow White”

Scene IIIApplause signs walk across stage. Prof tries to get Snoozy’s Attention but then gets the awards

himself and presents in to Snow White. Snow White returns to seat with Award. Fairy Godmother enters stage and points at audience.

Everybody: Wake up Snoozy! (wolf sneaks towards table)

FG: Louder, please.

Everybody: Wake up Snoozy! (wolf continues to sneak towards table)

FG: One more time!

Everybody: Wake up Snoozy! (Snoozy wakes up and wolf runs back to his seat)

Prof: Wow. That song brought tears to my eyes….apparently it brought sleep to Snoozy’s. And now, a word from our sponsors.

Clockmasters enter stage with Clocks.

“Hickory Dickory Dock Clocks”

Clockmasters exit stage. Shoe store commercial people enter with chair and shoebox.

Announcer: The Little Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe Store has such a great selection that even the Queen of Hearts thinks they are adorbs.

Storeworker: Well, what about these shoes?

Queen of Hearts: No, these shoes are awful!

Storeworker: Well, what about these shoes?

QOH: (jumps up and puts on shoes) Oh! I heart these shoes! (Shoe store commercial exits stage)

Prof: And we’re back. The next award is for Best Male Vocalist. May I have the envelope please? (Sparky brings over envelope) And the winner for Best Male Vocalist is…..Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk. Here he is to sing that great tune for you.

Snow White’s helpers bring in beanstalk and watering can for Jack.

“Gonna Climb That Vine”

(Applause sign go across stage. Snoozy jumps up and gives the award to Prof and Jack. Jack bows and returns to his seat. Snow White’s helpers remove the pros off stage.)

Prof: Uh….What a great use of greenery. This next award goes to the fairy tale with the Best Dramatic Scene. May I have the envelope please. (Sparky brings over envelope) And the winning fairy tale is….Cinderella. Here is that award-wining scene.

Applause signs walk across stage. Helpers bring out a chair. Two stepsisters enter stage with the prince. Stepsister 1 tries on slipper but it does not fit.

Stepsister1: Drat! If it weren’t for these stupid corns on my toe, that slipper would fit. I would have had them removed if you had told me you were coming.

Stepsister 2: Stop making excuses and let me try it. (stepsister 2 grabs slipper and baby powder to shake on her feet. They try the slipper but it also doesn’t fit)

Prince: Maybe I should leave.

Stepsister1: Oh no, you don’t. Let me try it again. (grabs slipper from her sister, pushes her off the chair and tries the shoe again)

“It’s Gotta Be the Corn Upon My Toe”

(at the end of the song, applause signs walk by. These characters take bows. Sneezy hands the award to Prof who gives it to the prince. The stepsisters take the awards away from each other back and forth as they walk back to their seats. Prince ends up

with award)

Prof: Whew! Those stepsisters certainly take their roles seriously. Now folks, it’s time for another word from our sponsors.

Stage helpers bring out table, plastic jug of water and two paper cups. Sleepy falls asleep.

“Jack and Jill Spring Water”

Jack and Jill exit stage, water is removed. The Beast walks in with “bad hair”.

Storeworker: Hello, you need a haircut for sure.

Beast: I know, I know, I’m hideous!

Snow White: Yep, that will be, (touches beast’s hair) $45.

Beast: Okay, that’s not too bad!

Snow White: (brushes hair a few times and then pulls wig off of the beast.) TADA! Come to Beauty and the Beast Hair Salon. We can turn any Beast, into a Beauty!

All exit stage. Wolf starts sneaking towards the awards table. Fairy godmother waves wand at audience.

SCENE IVEverybody: Wake up Snoozy!

FG: Louder please!

Everybody: Wake up, Snoozy!

Snoozy wakes up and the wolf runs back to his seat again.

Prof: Before I announce the next winner, I’d like to take a moment to recognize the accounting firm of Prince-Castlehouse who has taken the time to count up all of our results for tonight’s awards. (applause sign walks by) May I have the next envelope please? (envelope is presented to Prof) I knew it! The winner is the fairytale that started the new dance craze. By now, all of you know I’m talking about doing the “Walkie Talkie.” Here are our Three Bears and Goldilocks to perform this dance for you.

“The Walkie Talkie”

Scene VApplause signs cross stage. Snoozy gives award to Prof who presents it to the 3 bears. They bow

and return to their seats. Granny gets up from her seat and walks towards to podium. Wolf starts sneaking around stage looking at remaining awards.

Prof: I bet you can’t wait to get home and try that one! And now folks, I am going to call on Granny, our honored guest, to announce the winner of our next award. (applause sign walks across stage)

Granny: Mr. Wolf? (pause) Mr. Wolf? (Mr. Wolf tries to sneak offstage but the stage helpers grab him by either arm and bring him to the podium.) Why, it is you. I’d know those eyes anywhere.

Wolf: Hi there, Granny.

Granny: Mr. Wolf, your timing couldn’t have been better. I’d love to have you, my fellow actor and dear friend help me announce these next winners.

Wolf: With pleasure, Granny.

Granny: This award is the category of Best Rap. May I have the envelope please? (envelope is delivered to Granny) The winners are…you tell them, Mr. Wolf.

Wolf: Red Riding Hood and the Rappers!

Applause sign walks across stage. A chair is brought in for Mr. Wolf. He is pushed onto the chair by the three pigs.

Granny: Alright, let him have it!

Red Riding Hood: Okay, Granny!

“Big Bad Wolf”

SCENE VIApplause sign crosses stage. Granny presents award to Red Riding Hood. She and the three pigs

stay on stage. Snoozy returns to chair and falls back asleep.

Wolf: Gee guys, do you really think I’m okay?

Granny: Of course we do, Mr. Wolf.

RRH: We feel you’ve been always given a bad rap for being the bad guy.

Wolf: But you say I get too carried away.

Pig1: Oh hogwash!

Pig2: You just like to HAM it up.

Granny: Actually, Mr. Wolf, I am proud of you.

Wolf: You are?

Granny: I sure am. Why, it is quite a grind to perform in two different shows the way you do.

Pig3: Yep, not many actors can keep up that kind of pace.

Granny: Not only that, but we have all thoroughly enjoyed working with you.

Everybody: We sure have. It’s been great!

Wolf: Aww….thanks guys.

Granny: And now, Mr. Wolf, I would like to present you with a special award- the coveted “Best Villian”. (looks at Snoozy who is already asleep. FG comes in with her wand and waves it at the audience.)

Everybody: Wake up Snoozy!

FG: Louder, please.

Everybody: Wake up Snoozy!

FG: One last time!

Everybody: Wake up Snoozy! (Snoozy jumps up, gives the last award to Granny who presents it to Mr. Wolf with a hug. Mr. Wolf bows and clears his throat for a speech.)

Wolf: Thank you, Thank you. I really….don’t deserve this. Especially after trying to steal this award all night.

Granny: That’s okay, Mr. Wolf. You’re only human.

Everybody: WHAT?

Wolf: All I can say, Granny, is that I am thankful that you see me for what I really am. I’m not that bad a guy you know.

Granny: You’re a great guy and you certainly have earned this award. (Wolf bows one last time, hugs each of the three pigs and walks back to their seat with them.)

Prof: Well, folks, this has been quite a night. Granny, on behalf of all of us, I would like to thank you for a wonderful evening of fun and entertainment- and I wish you the best in your retirement years. (Applause signs walk across stage) We, from the land of fairytales would like to thank you all for coming.

Granny: Goodnight and may you all live happily ever after!

All characters stand and come to front of the stage for the final song.

“The Granny Awards Finale”