2014 cio santa letters(2)
TRANSCRIPT
By Vince CiottiH.I.S. (not very) Professionals, LLC
At the risk of antagonizing the many HIS vendors who have cooperated in over a hundred “strenuous” system selection processes we put them through over the years, this year features another special series of Xmas letters.
To make your holiday a little merrier (and with some help from Joseph Snowden), we managed to get copies of the private letters sent to Santa from their client CIOs.
So make sure your iPhone is charged (there are 12 leading vendors), put your feet up on your keyboard, and enjoy these “punny” missives that reveal what it’s like to be a client of theirs, listed by order of revenue. Hope Yule like it!
(PS - our attorney can be reached at: 800/555-HELP)
Dear Santa,
Please give Cerner a copy of their
own billing system to generate their
invoice to us – it will give us many months
delay before receiving them (if ever), and
even more months before they can post our
payment.
Yours truly,
Cerner CIO
Dear Santa,
We’ve grown a bit tired of
Practicing with McKesson’s
Partner for our “integrated”
hospital & ambulatory IDN. Can
you maybe get us the real thing
this year?
McKesson CIO
Dear Santa,
I’d like two things this year:
(1) thermal underwear for Epic’s user group
meetings, and
(2) (2) binoculars to see the stage.
I could pick them both up at their next
meeting near the north pole…
Yours truly,
Epic CIO
Santa,
For Xmas this year, could
you please give me Paul Black’s
phone #? I’m not a Wall Street analyst,
so it’s been hard to get a hold of him
lately…
Sincerely,
Allscripts CIO
Dear Santa,
We replaced our old
Invision system you gave us
many years ago for a brand new
gift you gave us just last year
called Soarian, Could we maybe
swap it for another system this
year?
Sincerely,
Siemens CIO
Dear Santa,
It’s been getting rather
lonely at GE’s hospital users
group meetings – could you send
some of your elves or reindeer to
liven things up?
Sincerely,
GE Centricity CIO
Dear Santa,
We’ve been having trouble with
the gift you gave us last year
called LSS: can’t seem to open the
package and get it to work with
other toys from the same
manufacturer. Can you please
send a new set that all works
together?
Loyal Meditech CIO
Dear Santa,
We just love the three wise men you
sent to our IDN:
- Opus for the hospital clinicals,
- Sphere for their financials, and
- NextGen for our physicians.
However, they don’t seem to talk very
well to each other. This year, could you
send us a translator?
NextGen CIO
Dear Santer,
We all just love the many CPSI gift
apps you gave us over the years – none
of my friends have so many, let alone
all wrapped in the exact same way.
However, they’re difficult to open and
once they’re opened, not really very
nice. Don’t mean to be fussy, but could
you send us just one or two really nice
apps this year?
Y’all have a merry one!
CPSI IT Director
Dear Santa,
That system you gave us last
year for our ED was superb -
many thanks! However, the one
for the hospital was only so-so…
Any chance we can get an
equally nice one for both places?
Medhost CIO
Santa San,
あなたは、米国の前に、今年東京で停止を確認してください ありがとうございました 親愛なるサンタ.
NTT Data CIO
Dear Santa,
Wow, that QuadraMed EHR that
you sent us last year was great – a
somewhat dated style, but real classy –
our RNs and MDs like it a lot. This
year, we’d like to spruce it up a bit to
look more modern – any chance?
Many thanks,
QuadraMed CIO
Dear Santa,
Sorry I couldn’t afford a first-class
stamp this year and I hope this3rd
class
stamp gets my letter there in time. As for
a gift, we’d be glad for anything this
year. Doesn’t have to be a Classic, nor
shipped via APS, just please leave it in
the Centriq under our tree…
Healthland IT Director
Dear Santa,
Please send Vince some
consulting business next year to
keep him out of my hair. I hoped
I was finally done with him when
he ended the HIS-tory series, but
he just never quits…
Fondest regards to you and the
Mrs,
Mr. HIS-talk