2014 jack and the beanstalk pantomime

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK by Susannah White (1)

CAST

NARRATORJACKWIDOWCOW OLD MAN with the beansWIFE (of the giant – just a big lady)GIANT (just a big man)

OPTIONAL CAST

Snowflake dancersWoodland trees and animalsCloud dancersGiant cups, bowls and plates which danceFlower dancers

SCENE ONE

Music – something with cold feeling. There could be a dance here with children dressed as snowflakes.

The NARRATOR is standing on the stage. Enter Jack wrapped in a blanket.He carries one piece of bread which he starts to eat. He is shivering.

NARRATOR: It was a cold time of year.Jack and his mother were very poor.Their house had no heating.They had no food left except for one slice of bread.

Enter WIDOW and COW (on a string) WIDOW is shivering. She has no blanket and no bread. The COW rolls her eyes and flutters her lashes.

JACK: You look freezing. Take my blanket. (pauses)You must be hungry. Have this bread.

He gives her the blanket and bread and pats the COW

WIDOW: Is there any more food in the house?

JACK: None at all.

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WIDOW: Not even a crust of bread?

JACK: Nothing.

WIDOW: Then what are we going to do? What will become of us?

She starts to cry – very loudly. JACK passes her a handkerchief. The COW tries to nuzzle into her to cheer her up but she pushes it away.

JACK: Please don’t cry. I’ll think of something.

WIDOW: What can we do? We have nothing left except one old cow who gives no milk.

The COW looks a bit upset.

JACK: I have got an idea.

WIDOW: What is it?

JACK: I will take the cow to that cattle market on the other side of the forest. When I am there I can sell her at a good price.

WIDOW isn’t sure. COW looks upset too.

WIDOW: But we have had her for years.

JACK: It is the only option. Selling her will save us.

WIDOW: Very well, if it is the only way.

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WIDOW is sad because she loves the cow and starts to cry again. COW hangs her head.

WIDOW: Please get a good price for her.

JACK: You know me.

WIDOW: I do know you, and that is why I’m worried.

Just sell her and don’t get any mad ideas.

JACK: No mad ideas, I promise. I will be back soon with a purse full of cash.

SCENE 2 – LOST IN THE WOODS

There could be a dance here – the wood might be made of dancers dressed as trees or woodland animals.

Enter NARRATOR. JACK then enters and wanders about with COW. There is music as they walk up and down and then back again the way they came.

NARRATOR: Jack set off towards the cattle market with the cow. He had not been there for years and soon got lost.

JACK: I think it is this way...or is it over there?

NARRATOR: Soon Jack was totally lost. He had no idea which way to go.

JACK and COW sit down under a tree. They are exhausted. JACK puts his head in his hands.

Enter OLD MAN. He wears a colourful coat with many pockets in it. MAN looks at the COW and then at JACK

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MAN: What is the matter, son?

JACK: I was looking for the cattle market?

MAN: You won’t find it in these woods?

JACK: I know. I think I must have taken a wrong turning.

COW nuzzles up to the man and peeps in his pockets.

MAN: Why did you want the market?

JACK: Isn’t it obvious?

MAN: Not really?

JACK: Well, I do have a cow with me!

MAN: Yes, I can see that.

JACK: I want to sell my cow. My family are very poor.

MAN: Well, why didn’t you say so?Perhaps we can do a deal.It may seem strange but I have always wanted a cow.

He pats COW and then hands. COW some snacks from one of his pockets and she nuzzles up to him again to get more.

JACK: Really?

MAN: Yes, really.

JACK: Would you like to buy this one?

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MAN: I might do. What can you tell me about her?

JACK: She is old, I’m afraid, but she is very good natured.You don’t want to eat her do you?

COW backs off and hides behind JACK

MAN: Of course not. I have a fine pasture where she can eat lush green grass all day.

COW goes back to the MAN and nuzzles him again.

JACK: How much can you offer me?

MAN: I can offer you riches beyond your wildest dreams.

Even the COW looks surprised.

JACK: Really, for this old cow?

MAN: Have a look at these.

He shows Jack a bag full of magic beans. COW sniffs them.

JACK: They look like beans.

MAN: Not just any beans. These are magic.

JACK: Magic? How can they be?

MAN: Take them home, plant them and you will see riches beyond compare.

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JACK: Do I make a wish or something?

MAN: No, all you have to do is plant them. Wait and see.

JACK: I promised I’d bring back cash.

MAN: You will get plenty of cash once you plant those beans.

In the end they make the deal and the MAN goes off with the COW leaving JACK and the beans. He wonders what he will tell Widow)

JACK: I really hope that these beans are magic. If they are not then we are truly doomed. I hope I haven’t just been conned.

SCENE 3

Enter NARRATOR and WIDOW with a phone in her hand.

NARRATOR: Jack’s mother was waiting for him to return. Shewas excited about the money. She decided to ordera takeaway to celebrate.

WIDOW makes a huge order for takeaway food including many strange items

WIDOW: (on telephone) Hello, can I order a takeaway please.I would like..... (actress to pick the items)

Enter JACK He overhears the end of the order and looks worried. He needs to tell his mother about the beans.

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WIDOW: Well, how much did you get?

JACK: Well…..

WIDOW: I hope it was a lot... that was a good cow.

JACK: Don’t worry; I got something very special for her.

JACK gets out the beans to show WIDOW

JACK: I exchanged the cow for these beans.

WIDOW: (loudly) Beans!

WIDOW is now very angry with him and he knows it.

JACK: Yes, beans. You see….

She interrupts him shouting out in anger. She remembers some of the bad things he has done before. Her anger builds up and up….She gets a rolling pin out of her apron

and runs after JACK with it – music plays.

WIDOW: (shouting) You stupid, stupid boy. Can’t you see you have been conned? These beans are not magic. They probably won’t even grow. They look pretty old. To think that you sold our beloved cow for these!

At the end of this speech she throws the beans out of the window. They both look in that direction. WIDOW storms out. JACK is left alone.

JACK: (looking out of window) I don’t think that went very well! (exit)

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SCENE 4

NARRATOR: All through the night the beans grew and grewUntil they became an enormous bean stalkstretching high into the sky.

Enter JACK and WIDOW

JACK: Look, Mother. Do you believe me now?I woke up, looked out of the window and it was there.

WIDOW: It is a big plant but I can’t see a single bean on it.They must be near the top. I want you to climb upthere and pick the beans. At least we will have food!

JACK: Very well, but I think I will find more than beans.

WIDOW: Go on then. I don’t want to see you back hereuntil you find me something we can eat.

JACK: Goodbye, Mother. Goodbye.

JACK starts to climb the beanstalk. Music plays. There could be dancers dressed as clouds drifting around him.

NARRATOR: So Jack climbed the beanstalk. He climbed higherand higher. He climbed so high that he went rightthrough the clouds. At last he reached the top of theplant. As he stepped off the stalk he saw an enormouscastle. The castle shone like gold and Jack decided tocreep into it and see if he could find any food.

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SCENE 5

GIANT (a big man) lies asleep as JACK creeps in. He snores loudly. JACK sees the GIANT. His house is full of larger than life objects – cups, bowls, plates – these could be dancers. JACK explores the room, creeping about to music.

JACK: Goodness me. That looks like a giant. I will haveto be careful not to wake him. Let me look around.What is this? ( finds egg) A golden egg! If I takethis home my mother will never moan at me again.

Enter WIFE. She is not really a giant at all. She is just a rather large lady. She sees Jack and looks at him sternly. She is, however, kind.

WIFE: What are you doing, young man?

JACK: Err… taking this egg. I want it for my mother.

WIFE: I like a boy who cares about his mother. Take it.We’ve got hundreds more. Our goose lays themall the time.

JACK: Thank you very much. Who are you?

WIFE: I am the giant’s wife and he is the giant.

JACK: Is he a kind giant?

WIFE: Not at all kind. He eats boys like you for breakfast. I would never eat a boy. He mocks me for that.I’m a vegetarian and I wish I had never married him. He will keep eating pickled people and filling our bins with their revolting bones and entrails.

JACK: I don’t like the sound of that.

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GIANT starts to wake up and they both panic and run about searching for a hiding place. If there are dancers on stage they can run too.

WIFE: Quick, hide! He will eat you if he sees you.

JACK: Where?

WIFE: Over there. (JACK hides)

GIANT: Fee, fi, fo, fumI smell the blood of a human man.Be he alive,Or be he deadI’ll grind his bonesto make my bread.

WIFE: Don’t be silly dear. The only smell in here is your socks.

GIANT: (looking around) I know he is here somewhere. There he is!

JACK decides to make a run for it. GIANT sees him and chases him about – to music -but JACK escapes with egg. Exit all.

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SCENE 6

NARRATOR: Jack took the egg home to his mother whowas very pleased with him, for once.They became quite wealthy but, unfortunatelyJack’s mother got a TV, grew addicted to the shopping channel and spent all the money. So, after a while shepersuaded him to return to the giant’s castlefor a second time to get more eggs.

The giant’s WIFE is sitting in a chair as Jack enters again. She is crying and has a black eye and holds a broken tea pot

WIFE: You came back.

JACK: Yes, how are you?

WIFE: He was furious when you went. He went mad and hit me and he broke a lot of my best china.

JACK: How horrid.

WIFE: I wish he was dead.

JACK: I have a plan that might help you get away from him.

WIFE: Please tell me the plan. I hate living right at the top of a beanstalk. I’d much rather live somewhere a bit more down to earth with a nice, kind, vegetarian husband.

JACK: If I could make the giant chase me down the beanstalk,then I could chop it down and he would fall right off it.

WIFE: Please, please try, but be careful, has eaten ten boys this week.

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JACK: Ten! Where did they all come from?

WIFE: They all climbed up beanstalks like you.

JACK: Oh dear, oh dear!

WIFE: Don’t worry, dear. How can I help you?

JACK: Could I have a few more eggs?

WIFE: Help yourself, dear. Help yourself.I am fed up of dusting them all the time.In fact, take the goose that lays them.

WIFE gives JACK a goose (an obvious toy)

WIFE: Now I won’t have to dust them ever again.

JACK: Thank you very much.

GIANT enters

GIANT: Fi fi fo fum.Ha, Ha. I’ve spotted you this time.

JACK: Please don’t eat me. I won’t taste very nice.I had garlic last night.

GIANT: But I love garlic....

JACK and the GIANT run about again but then JACK loses track of where the GIANT is – music.

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GIANT creeps up behind JACK

JACK: (to audience) Where is he?

AUDIENCE: He is behind you.

JACK: (turning) Where?

AUDIENCE: He is behind you.

JACK: Where? (JACK turns right around and so does the GIANT)

AUDIENCE: Over there?

JACK: Where?

GIANT jumps out and chases JACK around again – music as they run off – curtain fall/darkness)

NARRATOR: (aside) Jack managed to escape down the beanstalk but thegiant was after him. As soon as he reachedthe ground Jack fetched an axe and started to chopthe stalk down. Luckily, he did this just in time andthe giant fell and landed with a thud in the middle of the Widow’s flower patch.

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FINAL SCENE

JACK and WIDOW are looking at the dead GIANT. He has landed right in the middle of her best flower patch. The flowers could be the dancers again. JACK holds the toy goose.

WIDOW: Is that Giant dead?

JACK: I hope so. He doesn’t seem to be moving much.

WIDOW: He has flattened some of my best petunias. He must be removed!

JACK: We’ll have to get the council to take him away.

WIDOW: Which type of bin do you put a dead giant in, I wonder?

JACK: Never mind about him, look at this goose.

JACK shows her the goose toy – a dead ‘parrot’ type of joke.

WIDOW: That goose doesn’t seem very active!

JACK: It is asleep at the moment.

WIDOW: When does it wake up?

JACK: Every night and then it lays a golden egg. Soon we will be rich.

WIDOW: So, can I really order a takeaway this time?

JACK: Better than that. I will take you out to dinner.

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WIDOW: Fabulous. We can dine at ‘The Grand’.

JACK: There is somebody I’d like you to meet first.

JACK leaves the stage and enters hand in hand with WIFE.

JACK: This lady was married to the giant. I rescued her.

WIDOW looks at WIFE

WIDOW: How on earth did you do that?

JACK: I carried her down the beanstalk on my back.

WIDOW looks shocked as the WIFE is very large

WIFE: If I had known, I would have gone on a diet. I know I’m a bit overweight.

WIDOW: Don’t worry about diets today; we are all going out for a meal.

WIFE: Thank you very much. Do they serve large vegetarian portions?

WIDOW: I certainly hope so.

JACK: Come along then ladies.

JACK links his arms with WIFE and they leave to a jolly tune. Once they are gone, GIANT sits up, looks a bit bewildered, holds his head and then wanders off stage.

If the flowers are dancers, they can dance again now before the final curtain call.

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2014 jack and the beanstalk pantomime

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