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23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert

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Think you can spot an introvert in a crowd? Think again. Although the stereotypical

introvert may be the one at the party who's hanging out alone by the food table fiddling with

an iPhone, the "social butterfly" can just as easily have an introverted personality.

"Spotting the introvert can be harder than finding Waldo," Sophia Dembling, author of"The

Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World,"tells The Huffington Post. "A lot of

introverts can pass as extroverts."

People are frequently unaware that theyre introverts -especially if theyre not shy--because they may not realize that being an introvert is about more than just cultivating time

alone. Instead, it can be more instructive to pay attention to whether they're losing or

gaining energy from being around others, even if the company of friends gives them

pleasure.

Introversion is a basic temperament, so the social aspect -- which is what people focus on --

is really a small part of being an introvert," Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, psychotherapist and

author of "The Introvert Advantage,"said in a Mensa discussion. "It affects everything in

your life.

Despite thegrowing conversation around introversion, it remains a frequentlymisunderstood personality trait. As recently as 2010, the American Psychiatric Association

even considered classifying"introverted personality"as a disorder by listing it in the

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), a manual used to diagnose mental illness.

But more and more introverts arespeaking outabout what it really means to be a "quiet"

type. Not sure if you're an innie or an outie? See if any of these 23 telltale signs

of introversion apply to you.

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1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.

Introverts are notoriously small talk-phobic, as they find idle chatter to be a source of

anxiety, or at least annoyance. For many quiet types, chitchat can feel disingenuous.

Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people,"

Laurie Helgoe writes in"Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden

Strength.""We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.

2. You go to parties - but not to meet people.

If you're an introvert, you may sometimes enjoy going to parties, but chances are, you're not

going because you're excited to meet new people. At a party, most introverts would rather

spend time with people they already know and feel comfortable around. If you happen to

meet a new person that you connect with, great -- but meeting people is rarely the goal.

3. You often feel alone in a crowd.

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Ever feel like an outsider in the middle of social gatherings and group activities, even with

people you know?

"If you tend to find yourself feeling alone in a crowd, you might be an introvert," says

Dembling. "We might let friends or activities pick us, rather than extending our own

invitations."

4. Networking makes you feel like a phony.

Networking (read: small-talk with the end goal of advancing your career) can feel

particularly disingenuous for introverts, who crave authenticity in their interactions.

"Networking is stressful if we do it in the ways that are stressful to us," Dembling says,

advising introverts to network in small, intimate groups rather than at large mixers.

5. You've been called "too intense."

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Do you have a penchant for philosophical conversations and a love of thought-provoking

books and movies? If so, you're a textbook introvert.

"Introverts like to jump into the deep end," says Dembling.

6. You're easily distracted.

While extroverts tend to get bored easily when they don't have enough to do, introverts have

the opposite problem -- they get easily distracted and overwhelmed in environments with an

excess of stimulation.

"Extroverts are commonly found to be more easily bored than introverts on monotonous

tasks, probably because they require and thrive on high levels of stimulation,"Clark

University researchers wrote in a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social

Psychology. "In contrast, introverts are more easily distracted than extroverts and, hence,

prefer relatively unstimulating environments."

7. Downtime doesnt feel unproductive to you.

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One of the most fundamental characteristics of introverts is that they need time alone to

recharge their batteries. Whereas an extrovert might get bored or antsy spending a day at

home alone with tea and a stack of magazines, this sort of down time feels necessary and

satisfying to an introvert.

8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle

with those people afterwards.

Introverts can be excellent leaders and public speakers -- and although they're stereotyped

as being the shrinking violet, they don't necessarily shy away from the spotlight. Performers

likeLady Gaga, Christina Aguilera and Emma Watson allidentify as introverts, and an

estimated40 percent of CEOshave introverted personalities. Instead, an introvert might

struggle more with meeting and greeting large groups of people on an individual basis.

9. When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench - not in the

middle.

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Whenever possible, introverts tend to avoid being surrounded by people on all sides.

"We're likely to sit in places where we can get away when we're ready to -- easily," says

Dembling. "When I go to the theater, I want the aisle seat or the back seat."

10. You start to shut down after youve been active for too long.

Do you start to get tired and unresponsive after you've been out and about for too long? It's

likely because youre trying to conserve energy. Everything introverts do in the outside

world causes them to expend energy, after which they'll need to go back and replenish their

stores in a quiet environment, says Dembling. Short of a quiet place to go, many introverts

will resort to zoning out.

11. You're in a relationship with an extrovert.

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It's true that opposites attract, and introverts frequently gravitate towards outgoing

extroverts who encourage them to have fun and not take themselves too seriously.

"Introverts are sometimes drawn to extroverts because they like being able to ride their 'fun

bubble,'" Dembling says.

12. You'd rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.

The dominant brain pathways introverts use is one that allows you to focus and think about

things for a while, so theyre geared toward intense study and developing

expertise,according to Olsen Laney.

13. You actively avoid any shows that might involve audience participation.

Because really, is anything more terrifying?

14. You screen all your calls -- even from friends.

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You may not pick up your phone even from people you like, but youll call them back as soon

as youre mentally prepared and have gathered the energy for the conversation.

"To me, a ringing phone is like having somebody jump out of a closet and go 'BOO!,'" says

Dembling. "I do like having a long, nice phone call with a friend -- as long as it's not jumping

out of the sky at me."

15. You notice details that others don't.

The upside of being overwhelmed by too much stimuli is that introverts often have a keen

eye for detail, noticing things that may escape others around them. Researchhas foundthat

introverts exhibit increased brain activity when processing visual information, as compared

to extroverts.

16. You have a constantly running inner monologue.

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Extroverts dont have the same internal talking as we do, says Olsen Laney. Most

introverts need to think first and talk later."

17. You have low blood pressure.

A2006 Japanese studyfound that introverts tend to have lower blood pressure than their

extroverted counterparts.

18.Youve been called an old soul - since your 20s.

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Introverts observe and take in a lot of information, and they think before they speak, leading

them to appear wise to others.

"Introverts tend to think hard and be analytical," says Dembling. "That can make them seem

wise."

19. You don't feel "high" from your surroundings

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Neurochemically speaking, things like huge parties just arent your thing. Extroverts and

introverts differ significantly in how their brains process experiences through "reward"

centers.

Researchers demonstrated this phenomenonby giving Ritalin -- the ADHD drug that

stimulates dopamine production in the brain -- to introverted and extroverted collegestudents. They found that extroverts were more likely to associate the feeling of euphoria

achieved by the rush of dopamine with the environment they were in. Introverts, by

contrast, did not connect the feeling of reward to their surroundings. The study "suggests

that introverts have a fundamental difference in how strongly they process rewards from

their environment, with the brains of introverts weighing internal cues more strongly than

external motivational and reward cues," explained LiveScience's Tia Ghose.

20. You look at the big picture.

When describing the way that introverts think, Jung explained that they're more interested

in ideas and the big picture rather than facts and details. Of course, many introverts excel in

detail-oriented tasks -- but they often have a mind for more abstract concepts as well.

"Introverts do really enjoy abstract discussion," says Dembling.

21.Youve been told to come out of your shell.

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Many introverted children come to believe that there's something "wrong" with them if

they're naturally less outspoken and assertive than their peers. Introverted adults often say

that as children, they were told to come out of their shells orparticipate more in class.

22. Youre a writer.

Introverts are oftenbetter at communicating in writingthan in person, and many are drawn

to the solitary, creative profession of writing. Most introverts --like "Harry Potter" authorJ.K. Rowling-- say that they feel most creatively charged when they have time to be alone

with their thoughts.

23. You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social

activity.

Introverts can move around their introverted set point which determines how they need to

balance solitude with social activity. But when they move too much -- possibly by over-

exerting themselves with too much socializing and busyness -- they get stressed and need to

come back to themselves, according Olsen Laney. This may manifest as going through

periods of heightened social activity, and then balancing it out with a period of inwardness

and solitude.

"There's a recovery point that seems to be correlated with how much interaction you've

done," says Dembling. "We all have our own private cycles."

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