28_christmas.pdf

8/11/2019 28_christmas.pdf

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Episode 28

Narrative

Christmas music

ANNIEMmm. I love this time of year! Sleigh bells, mince pies, presents under the tree!

HECTORWhat? Easter?

ANNIENo, silly! Christmas!

HECTOROh!!

ANNIEIm going to show you what a traditional English Christmas is like, starting with mistletoe.

HECTORMistle-toe?

ANNIEIts an English tradition.When you stand under it, you can kiss someone.

HECTORBut I am not under any mistletoe.

ANNIEYou are now.

HECTOROh-ho-ho!!

BRIDGETOh, you poor things! Youre stuck together again. Dont worry, I can help! There, panic over!Right, Im off.

ANNIEWhat? Another television party?

BRIDGETNot a party, three more parties. And thats just tonight.

ANNIEBut youve been to a Christmas party every night for two weeks!

BRIDGETI know, its so difficult being so popular. First, theres a champagne party at the Savoy, then atnine o'clock Ill get a taxi to the Ritz and get changed on the way.

Episode 28 Christmas 1


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HECTORWhat? In the taxi?

BRIDGETNaturally.

HECTORHo-ho-ho.

BRIDGETAnd then at eleven thirty Ill get a taxi to Annabels.

HECTORAnnabel, who is she?

BRIDGETAnnabels, the night club.

HECTORWill you change your clothes in the taxi again?!

BRIDGETAnd there I hope I will meet a young, handsome man, an early Christmas present!

Sound of door slamming

NICKI hate Christmas!

BRIDGETDid you have a bad day at the grotto dear?

NICK

Ha-hmm!

ANNIENick, is that snow?

NICKNo.

ANNIEWell, whats that on your beard then?

NICKI was holding this baby coo-goo-goo-goo, when suddenly ergh! Ha, Christmas!

ANNIEBut children love Christmas.

NICKHmm.

BRIDGETIs the money good?



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Assorted background noises

BRIDGETRight, right. Whoa-whoa, not too fast! Oh, I feel terrible!

ANNIEOh, poor Bridget, are you in pain?

BRIDGETNo, but what about the parties? I cant go like this!

NICKI could take you dancing!

BRIDGETOw!!Christmas is cancelled!

Sound of cracker being pulled

NICKHey, hee-hee-hee!

HECTORIs that it?

NICKYeah, crackers are great!

HECTORSo, what else do you have at Christmas?

NICK

Oh, turkey, Christmas pudding, mince pies.

HECTORMince pies.How do you make them?

NICKOh, its just pastry and mincemeat.

HECTORMince meat?

NICK

Yeah, its traditional, its sultanas, raisins and spices. Its mince

HECTOR Meat.

NICKYeah, ah-hah Hey, listen to this, what do you get if you cross a chicken with a clock?

HECTORI dont know.



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NICKAn alarm cluck!An alarm cluck! Ha-ha!

HECTORI dont get it.

NICKAn alarm cluck! Cluck-cluck-cluck, one a cluck, two a cluck, cluck-cluck-cluck!

HECTORA clock?!

Christmas music

ANNIE [Composing email ]Oh, I love Christmas. Mince pies, mistletoe.

HECTORMistle-toe?

ANNIEIts an English tradition, when you stand under it, you can kiss someone.

ANNIE [Composing email ]Poor Nick is having a difficult time playing Father Christmas.

NICKI was holding this baby coo-goo-goo-goo, when suddenly !

ANNIE [Composing email ]Those naughty children! He-he-he!

BRIDGET [Composing email]I hate Christmas! I had so many exciting parties to go to.

BRIDGETIts so difficult being so popular.

BRIDGET [Composing email]But stupid Nick left his stupid sleigh in the hall.

NICKOh, my sleigh! I forgot!

BRIDGET [Composing email]

I fell over it and broke my leg!

Crashing noise/scream

Christmas music

HECTORBoom-dikka-ding-boom-ding-ding-ding right, mince pies!First, the pastry! And now the minced meat from the best butcher!



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Christmas music

HECTORMmm, they smell good, dont they Charley.

Sound of door opening/closing

ANNIEPhew! Well Ive finished all my Christmas shopping.

HECTOROh madam! Refreshment? Mince pie?

ANNIEMince pies? Oh Hector, you are clever.

HECTORI followed the rec-eep.

ANNIE

p.

HECTORMince p?

ANNIENo, no, no. Rec-ipe.

HECTOROh, rec-ipe.

ANNIEMmm.

HECTORHmm.

ANNIEUmm.

HECTORGood choice, madam. Merry Christmas!

ANNIEYuk!!

HECTORSomething wrong?

ANNIEIts dal-icious, delicious ahm. Erm, you know, Hector, Christmas is all about sharing. Erm, wouldyou like some, Charley?

ANNIE & HECTORHmm/Mmm/Umm.



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ANNIEHey, its Saint Nicholas!

NICKOh!

HECTORNick, what happened to your beard?

NICKAh, one Christmas candle, one small child woomph!

Laughter

NICKHey, mince pies, yummy, yeah!

HECTORWith best mince from the best butcher. Mmm.

ANNIEErm, Hector.

HECTORHmm?

ANNIEWhat did you put in the pies?

HECTORMince meat from the best butcher.

ANNIEThis is mincemeat. This is minced meat.

HECTORIsnt it the same thing?

ANNIENot quite.

NICKHa-ha! Delicious!

ANNIE

Hey, Ive got an idea! Lets make this a special Christmas, just for Bridget.

Sound of knocking on door/Christmas music

MALE NURSENight-night.

ANNIEHey Bridget, do you want to come carol singing?


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HECTORWho is Carol?

ANNIECarols are Christmas songs. You knock on peoples doors and sing to them for money.

NICKLets do it! Hmm!

ANNIEFor charity!For poor little children.

NICKHuh!

ANNIESome children have no Christmas.

BRIDGET

Just like me.

ANNIEAnd your job as Santa Claus is so important.You help children to believe in Christmas!

NICKYes, youre right, Annie, I do.My job is important! I help children to believe!!

Christmas music

ANNIE

Right, lets go!

BRIDGETIll go, only if we can sing Abba songs.

HECTORAnd that will make you happy? Here, have a mince pie.

BRIDGETOh, all right.

Christmas music

BRIDGETUgh!

BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICKAway in a manger

OFF SCREEN VOICEDog in a manger, more like, good night!


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BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICKSilent night

OFF SCREEN VOICEI wish you were, all night!

BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICKWe Three Kings of Orient are one on a scooter, one in a car .

OFF SCREEN VOICEGet lost!

BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICKMerrily on high

OFF SCREEN VOICEGet em Gnasher.

Sound of dog barking

BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICKO Come All Ye Faithful, joyful and triumph

Sound of dogs barking

BRIDGET[Voice fades into background singing O Come All Ye Faithful]

Christmas music

HECTORHi Annie, I like the tree.

ANNIEOh thank you, its nearly finished.

HECTORPlease, use these. My decorations.

ANNIEOh, sweet, Hector. Are they from Argentina?

HECTORNo, Oxford Street. Arent they great!

ANNIE

Oh, great.

Sound of door opening/closing

ANNIEOh, hi Nick. How was your last day as Santa Claus?

NICKGreat! Such nice children. One of them let me play with his binoculars!


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ANNIEReally.

NICKOh, and Ive just finished my Christmas shopping.

ANNIEBut the shops are shut now.

NICKNo, the petrol station was open. Look Ive bought my mum this.

HECTORA map of Watford.

ANNIEBut your mum doesnt live in Watford.

NICKOh I know. She might go there one day, though! I bought shampoo for my sister.

HECTORCar shampoo.

NICKYeah, and after shave for my dad. Ha-ha-ha! Mmm.I like the tree. Ooh, but I love these! Hey, Ive got some too, it was the last day of the grotto today,so they were throwing these away. Ha-ha, can you believe it! Ha-ha!

Christmas music

ANNIENo!

Christmas music

HECTOR & NICKPerfect.

ANNIEWell, it might make Bridget laugh.

HECTORWhy?

ANNIE

I know, if Bridget cant go to her parties, lets have a party here!

NICKWhen?

ANNIEOh, I dont know. In about fifteen minutes!


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BRIDGETOh! Oh! Look at the Christmas tree!

ANNIEI know. It makes me want to cry too.

BRIDGETWhats the point of having Christmas if I cant go to my Christmas party?! Now Christmas justmakes me cry!

HECTOROh, Bridget, cheer up. Tomorrow is Christmas Day.

BRIDGET[Sound of crying]

HECTORHave you got your stocking?

BRIDGET

Yes.

NICKHah, yes, and Ive got mine!

ANNIEWhat are you hoping for? A motor bike?

NICKYe-es! Why not?

BRIDGETThe only thing that will make this Christmas worse is if you invited all my friends round for a

surprise party to cheer me up.

Sound of knocking on door

ANNIEAh.

ASSORTED VOICESSurprise!!

BRIDGETOh!!

ANNIE [Composing email ]Hector made us mince pies.

HECTORAnd now the mince meat, from the best butcher!

ANNIE [Composing email ]The problem is, he used minced meat, instead of mincemeat.


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ANNIEYuk!

ANNIE [Composing email ]Oh well! He did try!

HECTORThey smell good, dont they Charley.

HECTOR, NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIESilent Night

NICK [Composing email]To cheer Bridget up, we went carol singing.

ANNIE, NICK, BRIDGET & HECTORWe Three Kings of Orient are one on a scooter, one in a car

OFF SCREEN VOICEGood night!

NICK [Composing email]People loved us!

BRIDGETJoyful and triumph

ANNIE [Composing email ]I also organized a surprise party for Bridget, she was surprised!

Sound of knocking on door

ANNIE

Ah.

ASSORTED VOICESSurprise!!

BRIDGETNo-oo!

ANNIE [Composing email ]Tomorrow is Christmas Day and Bernard is coming for lunch. What fun!

Christmas music/sound of knocking on door

ANNIEHang on, Im coming!

BERNARDHo-ho-ho, merry Christmas!

ANNIEOh, hello Bernard, merry Christmas.Im sorry, we had a little party last night.


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BERNARDErm, Im here for dinner.

ANNIEIsnt it a bit early?

BERNARDTen o'clock, time for a sherry.

ANNIEBernard, wheres your mother?

BERNARDAt church.

Sound of TV being switched on

ANNIEWell Ill just go and get dressed.

Christmas music

NICKTo Bernard, Love from Annie. Ha-ha.

BERNARDSherry. Thanks, Annie. Nearly finished this one.

NICKTo Bridget, Love from Annie.

BRIDGETA a flea collar. I havent got fleas!

ANNIEIm sorry, Bridget, wrong label. It was meant for Charley!

NICKHah! Is she sure it was meant for Charley?! Ha-ha! To Bridget, from Hector. Ooh!

BRIDGETOh thank you Hector, you shouldnt have. What to Wear at Christmas Parties. Oh!!

HECTORI bought it before you

BRIDGETIve got a little something for you, Nick.

NICKWhoo-hoo, goody! Gorilla because you are the original man. Whoo, ha-ha, it smells like agorilla.

BRIDGETWell, you should know.


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NICKOoh, I wonder what this could be. Ah.

HECTORMerry Christmas, sugar plum.

ANNIEMerry Christmas, snugly-puppykins.One heart, forever.

BRIDGETThis will stop it!

ANNIEBridget, nothing will stop my love for Hector.

Sound of coughing

ANNIEWell

Christmas music/sound of knocking on door

EUNICE MOUNTAINI just called to say Merry Christmas!

Ah! Mmm!

Christmas music

EUNICE MOUNTAINAh! Hector, Mmm.Bridget, what has happened to you?

BRIDGETI had an accident.

EUNICE MOUNTAINOh, what a pity! Youve missed some fabulous parties, especially at the Beckhams. Elton John,hes a very naughty boy! Ha! Still, never mind, there is always next year. OK, must dash. Off to atop restaurant for lunch.

BRIDGETErm, Eunice.

EUNICE MOUNTAINYes.

BRIDGETBefore you go, have a mince pie. Nick.

EUNICE MOUNTAINOh.


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Spraying noise

EUNICE MOUNTAINOh, I shouldnt.But, its Christmas.

BERNARDIts true, there is a Santa!

And shes a woman! Wait for me!I want to tell you what I really want for Christmas!

NICKHa-ha-ha!

HECTORHey, can you smell something?

NICKYeah. Is something burning?!

HECTORAh, I forgot - the turkey!

Christmas music/assorted noises/shouting

HECTORWater, water, we need water!Not on me! On the turkey!

NICKOooh!

Assorted noises/shouting

HECTORMove! Move!

Assorted noises/shouting

HECTORThere, the fire is out.

NICKAnyone for turkey?!

ANNIE

Shall we just have pudding?

BRIDGETErm, no mince pies, thanks.

HECTOROh, I have another surprise for you. Another English Christmas tradition. Chocolate log. One sliceor two?


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Christmas music/sound of sawing

COMMENTARY [v.o.]Next time in EXTRA, Nick wants to join the SAS, Bridget and Annie train the boys for action andwhy is Hector home so late?

ANNIEHello, Hector!

COMMENTARY [v.o.]

EXTRA, dont miss it!

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