3 ways to transform self-criticism into self-acceptance

3 Ways To Transform Self-Criticism IntoSelf-Acceptance

BY NIKKI NAAB-LEVY

FEBRUARY 6, 2015 5:16 AM EST

I'm what you might call a reformed Type A personality

<http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6303/Confessions-of-a-Perfectionist-6-Ways-

Yoga-Is-Great-for-TypeA-Personalities.html> . I spent my late teens and early 20s trying to

be more and do more than everyone else in the room. I thought putting myself on this kind

of infinite treadmill of achievement would bring me fulfillment (eventually).

During that time, no accomplishment ever felt like enough. I was totally maxed out on my

course load in college, but getting B's on my transcript struck me as unacceptable. If I spent

six days a week killing it at the gym, I'd feel like I had slacked on the seventh, no matter what.

There were certain "pros" to operating this way. I graduated in less than four years with two

degrees, and with honors on top of it all. However, I was physically exhausted, emotionally

and spiritually depleted, stressed out, unhappy and paralyzed by a constant fear of failing.

It was until I turned 25 and was halfway through a masters in accounting that I had a

3 Ways To Transform Self-Criticism Into Self-Acceptance http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16612/3-ways-to-transform-self-criti...

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Nikki Naab-Levy

Nikki Naab-Levy, LMP, holds a B.S. in Exercise Physiology and a B.S. in Journalism. She has

been studying and teaching movement for over a decade and is a based out of Seattle, Wa.

Nikki is a certified Pilates teacher, MELT Method instructor, bodyworker and fitness writer.

She is also a self-care advocate and a shameless bodynerd.

You can find Nikki and inspiration for smarter, pain free movement on her blog

<http://indigokinetics.com/category/blog/> , Twitter <https://twitter.com

/IndigoKinetics> , Facebook <https://www.facebook.com/indigokinetics> or Instagram

<http://instagram.com/indigokinetics> .

game-changing epiphany. My drive was fueled by insecurity-masked-as-ego, not passion.

Even though I appeared successful, my path was unsuccessful because I was completely

disengaged from my life.

It was a difficult decision, but I quit the masters program and returned to teaching fitness,

which was a less stable, but much more rewarding career. Changing course ultimately led

me to start a private practice using movement and manual therapy

<http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16806/5-ways-to-beat-your-desk-sentence.html>

to help people heal from pain.

The good thing about self-criticism is that it can be alchemical: you can use it as an

opportunity to recognize your negative energy as a learning experience, an invitation to

cultivate self-love. Here's how I turned self-criticism into self-love. Try these three tips, and

hopefully you'll be watching your own transformation before you know it.

1. Recognize the difference between self-loathing and discipline.

When we slip up, it's almost automatic that we allow our inner critic take over our mind,

leading us to dwell in negative self-talk. But realize that this negativity is energy, and is not

being spent toward productive goals. So instead of berating yourself, consider what you can

learn from the experience. While a mistake can feel like a crisis, most of them are fixable and

can teach you how to better handle similar situations in the future.

Of course, personal responsibility and discipline are important. If you owe someone an

apology, do what you feel is necessary to set things right. If you need to get something done


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at work, making a schedule for yourself may be a great idea to keep you on track. But

discipline doesn't discount your ability to cut yourself a break. Try to go into your

experiences with good intentions, do the best you can extend the same patience to yourself

that you would to a friend or family member.

2. Get comfortable writing yourself permission slips.

No one likes to be wrong. But it happens! A lot. Whether you're trying a physical activity for

the first time and screw up, or are taking on a new role at work and make errors in your first

few weeks, it's important to remember that no one is an expert at everything. And even for

experts, there is always more to learn. If you feel the impulse to hate on yourself, try writing

yourself a "permission slip" instead. Rather than beat yourself up for self-judgment, simply

try to recognize when you feel it coming on, and use them as to practice writing those

permission slips.

Rather than direct all of your energy toward trying to be right all the time, enjoy the process

that comes with gaining new insight or mastering a new skill. Should you encounter

information that contradicts what you previously had been taught, keep an open mind and

take it as an opportunity to clarify what you are hearing.

3. Shelve those comparisons.

If you're anything like me, you surround yourself with people who you respect and admire.

After all, there is a reason why you've made them part of your tribe.

When impressive people surround us, it can be difficult not to compare our own skills, looks

or achievements to theirs. However natural this may be, it's not necessarily constructive.

The truth is that everyone has a unique set of strengths, weaknesses and personal

experiences. Yes, the person who you are comparing yourself to may be exceptionally

talented in one area, but you also possess a unique sensibility

<http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7317/are-you-playing-the-victim-heres-how-to-

regain-your-power.html> that they don't have.

If we make things too much about competition and comparison then we lose out on the

innovation that occurs when we collaborate using our unique gifts. The next time you find

yourself feeling green next to another individual, ask yourself about the strengths you have

that compliment theirs? Everyone benefits if you can share your strengths.


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3 ways to transform self-criticism into self-acceptance

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