365 ways to boost self esteem

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Make a list of your successes We all have many successes in our lives . Perhaps you are asking, "Who, me? Never." Well I’ll put a few of your successes and you may add the rest yourself. You won the sperm race. There were about 600 million sperms in a race to fertilize the egg-cell which ultimately became you. Wow!! That makes you some great winner. You learned to walk (if you have no organic problems which stop you from walking). Do you realize that it takes more computing power than is available in any super-computer existing in the year 2009 to use all your muscles to move and walk. The list could go on about seeing, hearing, smelling and all your other senses and cognitive abilities. In fact I doubt if all the computers in the world combined have the power to recognize a face at a distance the way you can simply and easily. You learned your native tongue. Again this is an extremely difficult task that no computer or network of computers can come anywhere near doing. You can read this post or have enough initiative to get this article read to you. The list just goes on and on…. Make the list as long as possible. Add every success you have had . Did you go to school? Remember each time you got an A or did well in sports. Remember each time you graduated a class and went to next class. All your educational achievements can go in this list. Do you cook? Do you have any hobbies? How about all the relationships you have had with others. Mention all you friends. Human beings are the most complex beings on Earth and God knows just having a single friend is such a success. Now that you have your list of successes, read it often. Read it when you are up. You’ll feel even better. Read it when you are down. You’ll get a much needed boost. Read it just before a major challenge – say you are going for a job inyerview or trying to persuade your teenage child to do something. Of course once you succeed at that challenge enter it in your success book. As you have more successes, and you do have more successes every day, add to your list and enjoy. Take a walk in nature This post was written by DoctorJay on August 6, 2009 Posted Under: health tips I have previously written about walking and how it is good for your eyes . Of course the great advantage of walking is that is a wonderful low impact exercise which can be done anywhere by just about everyone no matter where their health level may be. There is something about the natural environment which makes one feel free and good. Just looking at a photo of nature calms one and lowers the blood pressure. Walking in nature multiplies the effects of either just walking or just observing nature. No matter where we live, we can find nature near within an hour or so of driving time. Often in the suburbs we may even find back streets within walking distance of our house which are countrified. Also there are parks in cities which allow us to get away from the hustle and bustle of the

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Page 1: 365 Ways to Boost Self Esteem

Make a list of your successesWe all have many successes in our lives . Perhaps you are asking, "Who, me? Never." Well I’ll put a few of your successes and you may add the rest yourself.

• You won the sperm race. There were about 600 million sperms in a race to fertilize the egg-cell which ultimately became you. Wow!! That makes you some great winner.

• You learned to walk (if you have no organic problems which stop you from walking). Do you realize that it takes more computing power than is available in any super-computer existing in the year 2009 to use all your muscles to move and walk.The list could go on about seeing, hearing, smelling and all your other senses and cognitive abilities. In fact I doubt if all the computers in the world combined have the power to recognize a face at a distance the way you can simply and easily.

• You learned your native tongue. Again this is an extremely difficult task that no computer or network of computers can come anywhere near doing.

• You can read this post or have enough initiative to get this article read to you.The list just goes on and on….Make the list as long as possible. Add every success you have had . Did you go to school? Remember each time you got an A or did well in sports. Remember each time you graduated a class and went to next class. All your educational achievements can go in this list. Do you cook? Do you have any hobbies? How about all the relationships you have had with others. Mention all you friends. Human beings are the most complex beings on Earth and God knows just having a single friend is such a success.Now that you have your list of successes, read it often. Read it when you are up. You’ll feel even better. Read it when you are down. You’ll get a much needed boost. Read it just before a major challenge – say you are going for a job inyerview or trying to persuade your teenage child to do something. Of course once you succeed at that challenge enter it in your success book.As you have more successes, and you do have more successes every day, add to your list and enjoy.

Take a walk in natureThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 6, 2009 Posted Under: health tips I have previously written about walking and how it is good for your eyes . Of course the great advantage of walking is that is a wonderful low impact exercise which can be done anywhere by just about everyone no matter where their health level may be.There is something about the natural environment which makes one feel free and good. Just looking at a photo of nature calms one and lowers the blood pressure. Walking in nature multiplies the effects of either just walking or just observing nature.No matter where we live, we can find nature near within an hour or so of driving time. Often in the suburbs we may even find back streets within walking distance of our house which are countrified.Also there are parks in cities which allow us to get away from the hustle and bustle of the

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concrete jungle. Some parks like Griffith Park in Los Angeles are quite large and hilly.There’s a hike in Griffith Park which takes one to the top of the Hollywood Hills and one can get a 360 degree view of both Los Angeles and the Valley (San Fernando Valley for those not living in LA). It takes two hours to climb up there but it’s well worth the effort.If this walk in nature is impossible to do one can always do it in one’s imagination. I will write about visualization and guided meditation later on. For now close your eyes and take a deep breath to relax your body and mind. Now imagine you are going on a walk on the beach, in a wood or on grass in a meadow.Since it is your imagination you can pretend you are walking barefoot. Walking barefoot improves posture, circulation and allows you to accumulate Prana or Chi (natural energy).Not everyone lives next to a lake, a sea or ocean but again most people live near a river or stream (most cities are situated near or on bodies of water). Walking by water is again a great way to increase your natural energy (Prana or Chi)

Pamper yourself – have a bathThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 5, 2009 Posted Under: ease of life, health tips Do you realize that only a hundred years ago a hot bath was a great luxury? Most people would not have hot water on demand and had to heat water to have their weekly bath and most probably many would share the bath. The situation in the "primitive East" was a little better as these countries have had great public baths for hundreds of years.Even so most people would have a bath once a week and less than two hundred years ago the civilized Europeans believed bathing was bad for you and most would bath once or twice a year.Today we have running hot water and we take it for granted. Pamper yourself. Have a bubble bath. Just lie down and enjoy. Rather than buying commercial bubble bath, I use some bulk shampoo and add a few drops of essential oils (aromatherapy) for perfume and end up with a most wonderful bubble bath.When you soak in hot water, you relax and your body repairs itself better. You show yourself that you care for yourself and you do matter .Yesterday had been an extremely tiring day. The kitchen ceiling leaked and I called a contractor who had to pull half the drywall down. I got dirty, messy, tired and highly stressed.I needed to relax (as well ash wash to get rid of all the drywall in my hair). I prepared my bubble bath. I added some Epsom salts and a few drops of lavender oil which according to aromatherapy soothes and relaxes you as well being a bactericide and hence great for your skin. I soaked away the stress and got out refreshed even though half of the kitchen ceiling is missing.Lavender 100% Pure Essential Oil – 10 ml The Complete Book of Essential Oils and Aromatherapy: Over 600 Natural, Non-Toxic and Fragrant Recipes to Create Health – Beauty – a Safe Home Environment Essential Oils Desk Reference

Contemplate these wordsThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 5, 2009

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Posted Under: Quotes Most of the following quotes come from famous people, a few have anonymous sources and one or two are my own words. Read them slowly and think about them:Remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt when she said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."When someone cursed a wise person, she said, "I thank you for your generous gift but I refuse to accept your gift…." Think about it. If someone tries to give you a gift and you refuse to accept it, to whom does it belong?Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.""Successful people work more on themselves than on their jobs.""Love is for giving….""The kingdom of God is within….""Do what you love, The money will follow….""You are not your body, your belongings, your reputation, or your anything else….""Follow your bliss….""Every day above the ground is a most wonderful day.""Love your neighbor as much as yourself implies you must love yourself….""Smile and smile some more….""Life cannot make sense on the level of life….""No one can fall under the evil influence of another unless he is already under the evil influence of himself….""I have been rich and I have been poor and it’s true what they say: Money cannot buy you happiness, but it sure can make life more comfortable…." Day 5:

Boost your self-esteem by watching cartoons on Saturday morningJesus said that one way to enter the kingdom of heaven is to become like little children. Modern science has demonstrated the health giving effects of humor and laughter. Combine these two by watching Saturday morning cartoons. If you have cartoon network you can watch older cartoons such as "Tom and Jerry" or "Bugs Bunny." There is something magical about these classic cartoons. Watching them raises one's mood and boosts one's immune system.Another way of appreciating life while watching these cartoons is to stay in bed while doing it.Have a wonderful weekend....

Be a positive paranoiacThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 10, 2009 Posted Under: positive emotions, self esteem A paranoiac is a person who thinks the world is out to get him. A positive paranoiac does the opposite. She believes that everything that happens will ultimately end up to her advantage . She searches for such advantage.She has deep faith that she will succeed no matter what the odds.An important fact of life is that we get what we expects . When we know the purpose of the universe is to produce wonderful experiences for us, we always expect good things to happen to us and we pay attention to such things.When apparently negative events happen, we know there are good things waiting to be

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discovered. This knowledge leads us to detect the minor advantages which exist even in the worst of events.The minimum good thing in every event is that we can learn something new. Remember there is no such thing as failure – only results. Thus we avoid actions which do not take us nearer to our goals and do more of those that do, while always having fun on the journey.Ultimately we become like the little kid who was told to clean the manure in a stables. She went ahead happily shoveling the manure out. Someone asked her how come you are so glad? She replied, "With so much manure, there’s bound to be a pony somewhere in there."When you face the world with such positive attitudes wonderful serendipitous events will take place for you. You go around expecting to find a parking spot in a most impossible spot and low and behold you get to your destination and a spot empties just in time for you.I don’t know if such events are really caused by your expectation and positive attitude or they just happen since your positive expectation makes you look in places you might not look. It really does not matter how it works. What matters is that positive people manage to achieve more while enjoying life more .

NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you…."

Understand that when you are confused you are learningThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 10, 2009 Posted Under: Success, learning, self esteem When we understand something fully, we are contented and have stopped growing. However, during the learning phase of anything we are often confused. It is during this time that we are learning new skills or new facts.Remember when you first learned to ride a bike or learned to skate. At first you kept falling off and perhaps for an instance you imagined that you would never learn that skill. Soon your confusion disappeared and then you had the new skill for life.At first when we learn a new task, we don’t know what to do. This is called conscious incompetence. Next we learn and slowly we have to consciously struggle to do the task. This is the conscious competence phase of learning. Finally, as we internalize the new skills, we get unconscious competence and we no longer have to consciously think about the task.Thus when you have unconscious competence the task becomes automatic, the confusion disappears and you hardly remember the time when you did not have this skill. It is like you drive on the freeway and you go into a "freeway trance" and the next instant you are forty miles away and you don’t remember how you got there but you know you drove well.A problem is that sometimes we give up during the beginning phase of learning a new task. The I Ching calls this phase: "Difficulty at the beginning ." It suggests that at such times one may need to pause and think. One should persevere and constantly keep the

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goal in sight. One may need helpers and mentors at such times. A spirit of honest humility will attract those helpers and mentors.

Challenge yourself enough but not too muchThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 11, 2009 Posted Under: Success, goal achievement A team of psychology experimenters wished to find out the behavior of successful people. They told the experimental subjects to play a game where they had to throw a ring onto a peg (like horseshoe game).The subjects were never told how far to stand from the peg when throwing the rings. One group went too near and would throw every ring onto the peg. They set their goal way to easy and soon they were bored and gave up.Another group threw from a great distance and never made a good throw. These set their goal way too hard and again after a little while of "failure" they gave up.The third group started somewhere and if they were too far back they would come nearer until they could had some good throws. Others of this group might start too near but would move away until there were some failures. Now as a certain distance became easy the successful people increased the distance until once again the task became challenging.This group were the winners in life. They did not take life so easily that they were not challenged. Neither did they attempt the impossible so they would give up. They were realistic. They used feedback to set their target difficulty so they were always challenged. As their skill increased they increased the difficulty so they would always remain challenged.We have heard so much about goal setting but the real trick is not mere setting of goals and writing them down, but goal achievement. The successful people changed their aims based on external facts. You need to keep yourself challenged. If the task is too easy do something harder and if it is too hard take on an easier task.Flexibility and dynamism in our goals is a great part of happy successful goal achievement. Be like the winners: challenge yourself enough but not too much .

Turn your TV off for a nightThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 12, 2009 Posted Under: ease of life, peace of mind, peaceful life Before TV existed people read and talked and provided their own entertainment. Now we are hooked…. Totally addicted.It’s as though human beings did not exist before TV.Like all technology TV may be used for good or bad but unfortunately we are much more likely to watch crap (technical scientific word for ninety percent of the stuff on TV) than something uplifting and educational.Therefor, we do need to get a rest every now and then. Think of a night without TV as a fast for the brain. In the same way that a fast cleans the alimentary canal and detoxifies the body , a night without TV relaxes the eyes and detoxifies the mind.When you turn off your TV, you can converse with and spend quality time with loved ones . You can read a book and most importantly spend some quality time with the one person you hardly ever spend any quality time with:

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Spend quality time with your self – meditate .Once you do this, you can graduate to a day without Internet, cell phone and other devices which stop us from being with ourselves and other human beings in our vicinity.I’m so surprised when I see people eating together in a restaurant and one, both or all are on their cell phones talking to someone else. Now, I can understand if there was a real emergency. But be honest how many times a year have you talked on the cell phone because of an emergency?I remember having a car accident in the year 2000 and contacting my wife…. Day 10:

Boost your self-esteem by send yourself a Valentine card.We all deserve to be loved. Most importantly we deserve to love ourselves unconditionally and compassionately. How better to appreciate yourself than by sending yourself a Valentine card. When you appreciate anything (or anyone) its value increases. So appreciate yourself for all your good points and your value to yourself and others will increase.Buy yourself a beautiful card. Write how you appreciate yourself. You may use your list from day one if needs be to get reasons why you appreciate yourself.If you are reading this at another season just send yourself an appropriate card.

NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."Day 11:

Go to a church, synagogue, temple, mosque and boost your self-esteemJesus said, "Man does not live with bread alone." There is a deep need for spirituality and communion in all of us. By going to our respective houses of worship we can satisfy that need. If you are adventurous we recommend you try going to a service of a religion or denomination other than your own. Even if you do not believe, going to a service can show you the unity of humanity. There is something about the architecture of houses of worship which relaxes us and puts us in a spiritual mood. When you go on vacation to the old world definitely go visit the great cathedrals and other houses of worship. Also consider the spiritual aspects of great libraries, museums and other similar buildings. I know the feeling I get from visiting mount Palomar observatory is an extremely spiritual feeling. Also please remember that your body is a temple dedicated to the glory of God and treat it as the sacred gift that it is. So only allow pure foods enter your body and pure thoughts enter your mind and boost your self-esteem.

NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Boost your self esteem by eating outThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 12, 2009 Posted Under: self esteem

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It is fun to eat out and be cared for without having to cook or worry about washing the dishes. Chose a restaurant you like and enjoy a night out. Take in the atmosphere and appreciate the food by eating slowly and deliberately. Smell the wonderful aroma of the dishes as they go by. Listen to sounds of laughter as people enjoy their evening out. Altogether have a feast for all your senses .When you go to the restaurant with a happy and positive attitude you are bound to get good service. While you are there be kind to the staff. If they are tired and grumpy bring a smile to their face. That alone will boost your self-esteem to no end. And when you are done show appreciation to the staff by leaving a good tip.One wonderful way to boost your self esteem is to take a risk and go to a type of restaurant you have never visited. A great part of globalization (lots of negatives so enjoy the positives) is the availability of all sorts of ethnic restaurants and foods all over the world. So take advantage of this.Another adventurace thing you can do is to order something you have never tried before. I remeber the first time I tried stake tartar (raw stake) or sashimi (raw fish on rice) and I love them. However, I did not appreciate frogs legs and will not order them more than once in every ten years or so (you never know – your tastes vhange over time).Whenever you take a risk you will boost your self esteem no matter what the result. I remember going to a Chinese restaurant and pointing to one of the dishes on the menue which had no English translation. The waiter told me that it was a hot fish soup. I asked for it.It was quite hot and had some fish that I could not recognize, but that was alright. I ate it all and the waiter appreciated me eating it all and broght me more without charging me. I’m not sure I would neccessarily order the same soup often again but I’m glad to have tasted it nce and I think next time I go to a Chinese restaurant I’ll do the same selction through pointing.

Phone a loved one and boost your self esteemThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 13, 2009 Posted Under: self esteem When you appreciate others, their value and your value both increase. When you show someone that you appreciate them, your worth multiplies. It is truly a win-win situation.The more love you show, the more love you receive. The more you help raise others self esteem, the more you boost your own self esteem. You cam think of it this way the more you esteem someone else, the more you esteem your self.First think of a person you love. Tell the universe silently how grateful you are that this person is in your life. Then pick up that phone – put on a great big smile (we sound different when we talk with a smile and te other person understands that unconsciously) – dial.Tell that special person you love her/him. Tell her/him how much she/he means to you.Talk about specific things you appreciate. Remind her/him of the happy times you have had together.How about that estranged loved one you haven’t talked to for such a long time? When you can let them know how much you love them you’ll get a most fantastic boost in your

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self-esteem.You can do the same thing with email too but the point is that the communication be genuine. Start with saying or writing "I love you because…." and then answer it. Keep repeating the theme of "I love you because…." over and over. Write great important serious reasons and small trivial reasons. There are so many reasons we love our loved ones and it pleases them and us when we verbalize them all.I recently wrote a love letter to my wonderful wife on a note card and mailed it to her. She had a great time receiving the letter. We also leave love notes for each other when we need to tell the other of something which has to be one (say shopping list with a little loving note at the end)….Remember the universe is a mirror to your soul. The more forgiving you are, the more you are forgiven. The more resentful you are, the more things you will discover to resent.

Look at yourself adoringly in the mirror and boost your self esteemThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 14, 2009 Posted Under: self esteem You can only love others when you love yourself . No matter who you are and what you look like, you deserve to be loved. Remember that you are created in the image of the Spirit (Infinite Intelligence, Ultimate Reality, God) and there is a spark of the Divinity deep within your soul waiting for your enlight enment.When you love someone you look at them adoringly. Look at your image. See your inner self. See the soul within and appreciate yourself.We are suggesting an unconditional self-love here. It is a generous giving self-love which is the opposite of selfishness. There is a paradox that when you love yourself unconditionally you can love others more and when your self esteem is low and you do not love yourself you become selfish and cannot love others.You can think of it as an emotional bank account. The higher your self esteem, the more you truly care for yourself, the larger your emotional bank account – so the more you can give to others.So, go ahead and be brave, look at yourself adoringly in the mirror and boost your self esteem. You may wish to look at your naked body with all its imagined faults (we are experts at being lookists – judging people including ourselves superficially based on looks). See that spark of Divinity. See that you (like all others) are a beloved child of God and are unique, lovable and deep down loving….It is important to smile at yourself when you are looking at the mirror. I always do this first things in the morning as I wash my face and last thing at night before I go to bed. As I’m washing my teeth and doing the rest of my toiletry, I give myself a big smile. If I’m tired, down or whatever, I force a smile.Smiling is magical. Just by holding your facial muscles in a smile pours endorphines and seratononin into your blood and makes you feel better. The more often you smile the happier you will be.

Best clue for achieving your goalsThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 4, 2010

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Posted Under: goal achievement When an airliner goes from say Los Angeles to Hawaii, it is off course about 99 percent of the time. How come it gets to its destination?The pilots have a goal in mind and do a series of midcourse corrections. Thus they take off and aim for Hawaii (their destination or goal). Soon air currents and random movements of the plane send them slightly away from their chosen destination.The pilots notice this and change their direction so they aim toward their goal once more. Thus every time no matter what the conditions they reach their target. The autopilot works on exactly the same principle of goal seeking except it will alter the direction many times a second based on the GPS.You can have goals in mind and this is like the old fashioned way of the pilot checking every fifteen twenty minutes of where the plane is relative to the desired destination. It is still better to have goals in mind than no goal at all.No goals in mind means anywhere will do. It is like “anywhere airlines.” It is very cheap. You buy your ticket and go to the plane and as soon as all the seats are filled the plane takes off and in time lands somewhere. Not your chosen destination but you may get there accidentally.But having goals in mind is like flying in 1920 with visual navigation. And using that metaphor it is easy for the pilot to forget about the goal or misidentify a step toward the goal.I mentioned that modern flights use GPS and autopilots to guide us to the destination. Written goals are like using an autopilot to reach our destination. They are directives to the unconscious mind which obeys them blindly if they are written according to certain rules and used as affirmations. Well written goals are based on our understanding of the unconscious mind.There is something semi-magical about writing one’s goals down which makes achieving well written goals an almost certainty. The real trick is to write ones goals down in a special way which helps guaranty their achievement. We will describe various rules for writing our goals on different days.

when writing your goals keep it simpleThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 4, 2010 Posted Under: goal achievement Continuing our goal setting series:Keep the goals you write simple and concrete. The unconscious mind (the part of you which achieves goals) does not like or for that matter understand nor comprehend complicated redundant ideas which are abstract nominalizations and complex sentences like this sentence which goes on and on.So be specific but keep it short. Use a short simple sentence to symbolize your specific goal.Like: “I now own a red Jaguar.”Not: “I now own a red Jaguar with leather seats and chrome wheels and for which I paid $xxx which I earned by doing yyy etc. etc. etc……..”I used this method on my last new car 6 months before I bought it. It is the right color and model exactly the way I visualized it. Actually I saw a review of the car and I knew I would end up with one exactly like the one in the magazine.

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Seeing a physical image of your goal (you can photoshop your picture to look the way you want to look after your weight reduction) helps your unconscious mind achieve your goal.Writing abstract goals will not help you very much: Nominalizations (mentioned earlier) are best described as things you cannot put in a wheel barrow like satisfaction, happiness, or good. So if you have a written goal of being satisfied or happy the unconscious mind does not know what you desire.The unconscious mind is very literal and thinks in concrete term so you have to explain what you mean by satisfieed (owning a red Jag or whatever).Remember the KISS principle as applied to goal setting:

• Keep • It • Simple • Sugar

I know many make the last S as stupid – now why would you give such a suggestion to yourself or anyone else.

four question reason why goal writingThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 4, 2010 Posted Under: goal achievement, good questions Next point about writing your goals is to have them for yourself.Thus if you want to become a non-smoker because it bothers your spouse, your doctor told you to stop or you’ll die, or you promised your child you would stop, your chances of success are much lower than if you want to become a non-smoker for your own reasons such as improving your health so you can golf better(assuming you love golf), smelling better, getting your taste buds back and a thousand other internal reasons.There are times when your reason starts as an external reason motivation, but in order to have it as your goal you must internalize it. How would you do this. Using smoking cessation as the example and having your main reason being that your spouse and children want you to stop, how would you change this to produce a well written goal?Start with your internal motivation such as the fact that you love your spouse and children. Next add all the other reasons you would like to become a non-smoker.This is different from “I don’t want my wife to nag when I smoke.” Remember also you want to write your reasons in the positive like, “I love to see the approving look on my wife’s face when she sees me a non-smoker.” Now the external reason has become internalized and a positive gain.***When you know why you want goal and why unconsciously you may sabotage yourself you will be able to achieve your goals. The stronger your reasons why you must achieve your goals the easier you’ll achieve them.Four excellent questions to ask to improve your chances of achieving any goals are:

• “What will I gain when I achieve my goal?” • “What will I lose if I do not achieve my goal?” • “What will I lose when I achieve my goal?” • “What will I gain if I do not achieve my goal?”

Write as many answers to the above questions as you can. The more answers you give the

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more the goal will be your own.Also note that the wording of the two questions are such that they help you achieve your goal since they presuppose that you will achieve your goal.Thus for smoking cessation the questions become:“What will I gain when I become a non-smoker?”“What will I lose when I become a non-smoker?”“What will I gain if I do not become a non-smoker?”“What will I lose if I do not become a non-smoker?”I recently did a smoking cessation with a client. I normally give them the four questions as a homework to do. My client did not answer enough of the questions. Typically I send the client home to work more on the above questions.This client was an out of town client who had been referred to me by a friend. So I asked the questions myself and guided my client by keep asking the question over and over again. My client ended up filling four pages with answers to my four questions and by the time we got to the hypnosis his desire for smoking had diminished so much that the hypnosis was a breeze.All your goals and wishes should be passed through these four questions. When you know the reason why you will discover the way how.

Keep your goal realistic while you dream your wildest dreamThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 4, 2010 Posted Under: goal achievement Continuing the goal setting and achievement series:Keep your goal realistic while you dream your wildest dream.This is appears like a paradox but is doable and an extremely important part of good goal setting.Earlier we mentioned an important characteristic of successful people thus: “Challenge yourself enough but not too much.”The issue is to keep the right balance between impossible goals and not having goals at all because they are too difficult to bother with.Thus suppose I am over thirty, I don’t know how to play the piano, and yet I desire to become a top world class pianist, the chances of me doing this is extremely low. However, if I change my desire to wanting to learn to play the piano well enough to give a concert at the local village hall, this is still challenging but is doable.As mentioned in the post above once one achieves one goal one can select a more difficult task the next goal so one is still challenged. So we may go from the village hall to the county seat and so on.Another way of putting this is to keep your feet firmly on the ground as you allow your head soar way above the clouds.Thus for another example – if someone at the age of forty while being thirty pounds over weight and with a height of five foot five has a goal to become an NBA star the goal is ridiculous. However, the same person may have a reasonable goal of becoming an excellent basketball player for his age and height. In achieving this goal he would lower his weight to his ideal and become very fit for his age.

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Now, it is important that when we set our goal, we take action and persist. You all know the story of the young boy with a violin case who asked a Manhattan policeman the way to Carnegie Hall and the NYPD stalwart replied, “Practice, practice, practice.”So setting our goal to stretch ourselves the next step is to keep going and stretching each goal as we achieve it.

It’s better to do something than to be paralyzed by perfectionismThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 4, 2010 Posted Under: Success, goal achievement One of the main reasons we procrastinate and end up not achieving our goals is because we are cursed with perfectionism.We have stupid sayings like, “Do it well or not at all.”A much better saying is, “Do it badly at first, then improve it until it’s good enough and leave well alone.”Let’s deconstruct this:

• Do it badly at first – the whole universe is created through a process of evolution (cosmological and biological). And all products are produced the same way. The original Write brothers’ plane flew less than the wingspan of a Boeing 747. Imagine if they believed in perfectionism and said, “We won’t bother until we have a heavier than air flying machine which can go from one continent to another…”

• improve it – self evident. Write that first draft as fast as possible and then edit. • until good enough – some perfectionists don’t bother as nothing ventured,

nothing lost – no risk, no loss but no gain at all (these are the procrastinators). Others bother but never hand that paper in. They keep editing and editing that paper (or other writing). In fact this is one reason so many perfectionist student do not graduate on time.

• leave well alone – final curse of perfectionism. Even though the movie has been released many directors go back again and again and reedit. I understand if the studio did not allow them to release their version or minor changes as technology improves allowing better special effects. I’m talking about people who miss out on new projects by not stopping with a project once it is good enough.

Give yourself a deadline and then do it even if it is not as good as you desireThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 4, 2010 Posted Under: self esteem, will power continuing our goal achievement series:Give yourself a deadline for any goal and then just beat that deadline no matter what it takes. This again is a way to beat that most odious habit of procrastination which damages our chances of archiving goals more than just about any other hindrance.A friend gets into trouble by being typically late for most appointments. I recommended that she leaves the house on time however unready she feels. She can be half dressed with

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no make up and if she leaves the way she is she will soon learn to be always on time.The trick is not to care about the quality of the work and take a risk of being embarrassed. When you have self respect you will not end up shaming yourself more than once, but you will teach yourself that you are the type of person who meets deadlines.Once you get into the habit of delivering to your deadlines no matter what, the quality of your work improves as you still produce the work in a timely fashion.Another advantage of being on time (for your own deadlines – not artificial ones given at work) is that you’ll boost your self esteem by proving to yourself that your words do matter and you will also test and strengthen your will power.

write your goals with an achievement timeThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 4, 2010 Posted Under: goal achievement continuing the goal writing series:Your goals need have an achievement time.This is the T of SMART goals.If we use the metaphor of flying to Hawaii, and we have no arrival time, we may take ten years going from here to there and yet since ultimately we are hoping to get to Hawaii, we (our unconscious mind which is our internal goal achievement mechanism) imagine we are on target. But if you know your arrival time is 6:00 p.m. you will know as soon as you are temporally off target.In fact given that the unconscious mind is minimalistic (lazy does least possible to literally obey your instruction), suppose you have a goal of doubling your income and you do not give yourself an achievement time, the unconscious mind will move toward that goal but exceedingly slowly. In fact so long as your income goes up by a penny a year you will get to you goal even if it takes thousand of years (if you could only live that long) to get there.It is important to be flexible and be ready to change your ETA (estimated time of arrival) every now and then. Sometimes after a while you realize that you were either too optimistic or hopefully pessimistic. When you notice this change your schedule for achieving that goal. You need do this on rare occasions when you review your goals. As a rule of thumb, review each goal when ten percent of the allotted time has passed.In your review you may change deadline or the goal itself. I once entered a competition at my gym. You had to do so many tasks (like 350 miles on stationary bike, 25 miles walk/run and so on).It seemed very difficult to me but you had three months to go through it. So I entered for fun and to motivate myself to get fitter. My original goal was to just complete all the tasks in the three months.By the third day I noticed that if I exerted I could do quite well. I saw my rate and the rate of everyone else. So I changed my goal to finishing in the first ten. Two days later I changed my goal to coming in the top five and by the end of the first week I decided that mu goal would be to be in the top three.I ended up second and first for the next two years when I was still a member of that gym.The point is to be flexible and always be ready to change your goal intensity and deadline up or down to keep the goal motivating.

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Remember that if it is too easy there’s bo achievement and if it’s too difficult you’ll give up.

Write specific goalsThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 4, 2010 Posted Under: goal achievement Continuing our goal writing series:Make your goals specific.Again going back to our original example of flying to Hawaii, if our pilots decide to go somewhere in the Pacific, where are they going to end up? So long as they fly to any non-specific destination in the Pacific they are on target but it is highly unlikely that they will reach Hawaii. However if they choose a fixed airport in Hawaii as their specific destination they will always know whether they are on target or not.Now suppose you write that you want to earn more, your goal is not specific and even if you earn a dollar more in the next ten years your goal becomes true. You need to remember that your unconscious is your own internal autopilot but is both very literal and lazy.It will do the least possible to achieve your goal exctlt like you write it.It’s like teenage boys who when you ask, “Can you close the door,” reply, “Yes,” and leave the room with the door open. They did answer you literally but not what you meant.Thus unless your goal is specific, your unconscious mind will make your dream come true in the most literal and easiest way possible. It is like all those stories of genies who give us exactly what we asked for. I think such teaching stories are metaphors for goal setting.The car dealership — a story about literalness of the unconscious mind.

write your goals from an ecological point of viewThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 5, 2010 Posted Under: goal achievement Think of all consequences of your goal from an ecological point of view. This basically means being aware of cause and effect relationships. Often we have a goal and take action toward the goal f and do not notice all the secondary effects. Some of these may be beneficial and others we may not like.Just having a goal is a cause and taking action toward your goals are further causes with various effects.Remember all your actions have many consequences. Some of these are intentional and some may be non-intentional.When we use the term ecological we mean the effects on all concerned.This is where those intentional and non-intentional effects have to be understood when we set the goal.Thus a woman who loves her family might put the goal of doubling her income in order to make sure her children have the finances to go to the best universities. However, the extra time she needs to work may mean that she cannot spend quality time with her family and a non-intended consequence of this may end up that her children’s grades drop and in fact they do not get into the university of their choice, even though she has made

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enough to be able to send them there.Another example came from a person who was a workaholic and did not look after his health. He described visualizing a beautiful future where his wife and children were enjoying themselves in the brand new seaside villa. I asked him where was he in the picture. He was not in that future. This was a warning from his unconscious mind to change his goals and take things easier and look after himself.This point of considering all the effects of your actions, when taken globally, becomes an important spiritual part of goal setting. Thus goals which damage the environment, harm others or impinge on the freewill of others may backfire and ultimately damage the person who set the goal.Imagine if you help kill the planet thanks to global warming or other environmental disasters what will happen to your children and their children and so on…In a later segment we will describe some affirmations to help make our goals ecological from a spiritual point of view.

write measurable goalsThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 5, 2010 Posted Under: goal achievement This is the M of SMART goals:Have a way of measuring the achievement of your goals. Here again we are talking about making your goals more precise. The goal seeking mechanism in human beings is mainly the unconscious mind which needs precise directions. This is where measurable goals come into their own.As we mentioned before if your goal is to make more money you will be successful at achieving your goal even if you make a single dollar more. However, if you set a goal of making $10,000.00 more a year, you know your target and know where to aim for.Once you have used these nine guidelines to producing your well written goal, and you know where you are going you need to understand the stages of achieving your goal.As Lao Tsu said a journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step. So once you have written your goals down start and take action.Do something immediately to move you toward your goal. Now that you have begun, continue and remember to be flexible. You know your final outcome. If you do something and it does not bring you nearer to your goal, do something else. Be like the pilots who know their goal and keep making midcourse corrections until they arrive at their destination.Understand that there is no such thing as failure but there are only results.Like Thomas Edison, persist in succeeding producing results and you will reach all your reasonable goals. It is important to know that most of us have goals which are too small rather than too large.Think about this: “It is better to aim for the moon and hit an eagle than to aim for an eagle and hit a crow.”However at the same time if you aim for the stars – an impossible goal – chances are you’ll not even take that decisive first step.So you really need to hit the sweet spot to make the goal challenging but not so difficult. However, you need to get feedback and have flexibility to change the difficulty of your goal appropriately to keep in that sweet spot. An thus so long as you keep getting

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feedback and alter the challenge so you remain in the sweet spot your original goal can be way too easy or difficult and you would hit your sweet spot quite quickly.

Dont worry, smile, you’ll be happyThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 5, 2010 Posted Under: Success, ease of life, health tips Modern psychological and physiological research has shown that the mind and the body are not two separate entities but are two ways of looking at the same object.It is like a lightning may be thought of as a bright flash with the associated thunder or an electrical discharge with a huge momentary change of air pressure. The two descriptions are one and the same. Thus it is better to talk about the mind/body.In fact I normally talk about the mind/body/soul/spirit monad (unity).***We have long known that the emotions affect our physiology and when we are happy we smile. When we are not we frown.What we have discovered in the last thirty years is that our physiology affects our mood. If we smile, we end up feeling happy. So no matter how you feel just now stand tall and act as you would when you are on top of the world. Breath deeply and take in that wonderful life giving oxygen. Now put on a great big smile. Soon you will be on top of the world.There is a type of meditation which consists of smiling on every out breath. Do this for ten out breaths and notice how your mood improves.Also note that in the above we used the as if principle, where you act as if and that acting will alter your physiology and mood (mind/body).

Better late than never?This post was written by DoctorJay on January 5, 2010 Posted Under: Success, goal achievement, self esteem In the years 2000 and 2001 I wrote a series called 365 ways to boost you self esteem. I would add a short article every day. I suppose it was really a blog but I was not using a blogging software. I’m slowly transferring as many of the seven hundred posts to the blog from the main Life Focus Center site. The bit about the computer glitch refers to the year 2000 when each post had to be written on the local computer and then uploaded to the web site. Also the idea for the series was to have one post per day:Remember the earlier you do something when you realize you are late, the better off you are.We had a slight computer glitch on the day this segment was supposed to go out, and it would have been very easy to just delay the next segments until the problem was solved.We could have said, “What’s the difference between one day and three? We will do it when we can.” Then the next day it would have been even easier to delay and procrastinate after all the difference between four days and three is much smaller than that between one and three. And eventually you say never mind.I know that used to happen to me when I was supposed to phone someone. I would get late, then later and eventually I would be too ashamed to phone my friend. This not following through ends up lowering your self esteem as you teach yourself that you re the type of person who procrastinates tasks to oblivion.

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So the best time to recover from a delay is as early as possible.Along the same lines remember that when aiming for a goal, one fumble is only a warning that you are off target and need to change your approach.Remember an important aspect of goal achievement is the understanding that there is no such thing as failure (unless you give up) there are only results which you can use as feedback to let you know what action to take next.Thus there are many people who stop smoking and then six months later in a moment of extreme stress smoke a single cigarette and they immediately see themselves as smokers once more. The correct attitude would be to accept the given events and learn better ways of coping with stress and continue remaining a nonsmoker.So if you end up being late take action as soon as possible and boost your self-esteem.

A few good questionsThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 6, 2010 Posted Under: good questions Continuing the transfere of old posts to the blog:Your mind will answer any questions you pose. It does not ask if the question is true or false. It just comes up with some answers.Thus if you ask, “Why do things always go wrong for me?” You will get a thousand and one reasons why things always go wrong for you. Now your mind is concentrating on all the negative things in your life – a few real but mostly imagined.Now you are on a vicious cycle going downhill. When you see the world through dark glasses you see a gloomy world.Now if you ask, “How come I’m so lucky?” You will come up with many reasons why you are lucky. You will now notice your successes and these will increase.So here are a few good questions:

• What can I do today to move toward my goals? • Where is the opportunity in this apparent problem? • How can I manage my weight while feeling satiated and happy? • What is the learning here? • How can I increase my happiness simply while having fun? • How can I improve my relationship with my partner?

Note most good questions are how questions and not why questions. Even a question like “Why am I so lucky?” is not a good question, since your brain will just answer it without giving you an action plan. You will feel much better than asking, “Why am I so lucky?” A much better question may be, “How can I improve my luck?”If you ask tht question it is good to remember this definition:Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.Make up your own unique questions to help you with your unique situation.I want to acknowledge one of my mentors, Tony Robbins, for teaching me about the power of questions. Tony suggests coming up with five motivating questions for yourself. Write these questions on an index card and read them each morning as soon as you wake up and the last thing at night. This will get your mind thinking along the right lines to create the right answers for you.So go ahead ask the right questions and the answers will come

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Get some mentorsThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 6, 2010 Posted Under: Success We all need to learn from others who have gone before us. A mentor already has been where we want to go and can point the way. Now you might wonder where you may get your mentor(s). Often you might find someone at work, school, university. Often a family member may make an excellent mentor. In today’s world you may find a mentor on Internet through email.Most of my mentors, I have never met but they mentor me through their books, videos, audios and other works.I hereby thank the following mentors and many others that I have no doubt forgotten. Here is a list of the mentors would stand out in my mind:My father Dr. G.R. Hashtroudian and my mother Motahareh HashtroudianRumi – (Mulana Jalal-E-Din-E Rumi)PlatoDalai LamaMilton H. EricksonC.G. JungVirginia SatirTad JamesRichard BandlerTony RobbinsGerald KeinDave ElmanSir Dereck BartonSir Ernst B. ChainI want to give special mention to the last two who were great Nobel prize scientists who were among my professors when I was doing my undergraduate and postgraduate studies at Imperial College in England. Unfortunately at the time I did not appreciate them as much as I do now. It was the late sixties and I was young and full of myself. However, even in spite of myself I learned a huge amount from these two brilliant scientists.Then there are my wonderful teachers our cats who teach me so much about unconditional love and ethics. For example when one of our cats was suffering and in great agony we allowed him to die with dignity. If we are so kind to our animals out of love, surely we can be kind to ourselves too. I know I don’t want extreme medical intervention to lengthen my life if the quality of life no longer exists.It is also never too late to have mentors and your mentors may be much younger than you. Just now I’m looking for an expert Internet marketing expert to mentor me. In return I’m ready to do life coaching and other hypnosis work.

Take a shower and renew your energyThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 6, 2010 Posted Under: Success Seventy percent of the earths surface as well as seventy percent of our bodies is water. We need hydration on the inside and outside. Both drinking enough water and washing

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our skins reduce the effects of stress on the body.To hydrate your skin you can have a bath or shower. There is, however, a difference between taking a bath and showering.Each have their wonderful relaxing effects. They are both great to reduce your stress.When you soak in a bath, you relax your muscles and can rest allowing the water to soak away your concerns and troubles.On the other hand, the shower may massage your muscles and refresh the pores of your skin. In the East they believe that running water is a source of vital biological energy (prana or chi).As you take your shower, visualize receiving this vital energy and allowing all negativity to be washed away. If you want, sing, hum, whistle while you forget about all your daily concerns.One good thing you can do is to change the shower temperature from hot to cold and back to hot. There are some showers which can do this automatically. Also other showers have different settings which massage you. But any running water is fantastic.I suppose among other things showers remind us of our ancestors when they would shower under natural water falls.

http://www.lifefocuscenter.com/seday11.htm

Take a deep breath – relax – reduce stressThis post was written by DoctorJay on January 6, 2010 Posted Under: spirituality, stress mangement In many languages the word breath and spirit are the same or have the same root. In Genesis the Creator gave breath spirit to the clay and gave life to humanity (Adam). We use the term inspiration (to breath in) because over the years people have learned the connection between the breath and the mind.On a previous post we suggested you smile for no reason and explained the unity of the mind/body — body/mind.One of the best ways of affecting one’s mood and one’s self esteem is through changing one’s physiology. For the next few posts we will write about other methods of boosting one’s self confidence and self-esteem through simple changes of one’s physiology:Many meditations, hypnosis, relaxation and other forms of stress reduction begin with breathing deeply.So next time you feel harried, stressed take ten deep breaths. This one method of stress management and mood elevation is cheap, quick and extremely effective. Moreover (so long as you do it slowly – you don’t want to hyperventilate) there are no nasty side effects (like drugs).By taking deep breaths we increase blood oxygen and relax the mind/body. Breath in through the nose and hold your breath in as long as you can remain comfortable. Now exhale slowly through the mouth. If you are alone you can make a “Haaaaaa” sound as you breath out.These ten deep breaths can prepare you for: mental activity; tackling a difficult inter-personal relationship; self-hypnosis; meditation; guided meditation/visualization; sports; sleep. The list is endless.

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One of the times that this exercise is extremely useful is when you get angry. Just delay any action until you have taken your ten deep breath and you will discover that your anger has diminished or totally disappeared. Day 31:

Stand up tall with head erect and boost your self-esteemIt is impossible to feel depressed when one has the physiology of being happy. As we have stressed, want a happy soul put on a happy face. In this case remember a time when you felt very confident, feel the feelings you had and take the posture you had when you felt very confident. Very soon your mood follows your body and you will be very confident.When you practice this say a key phrase of your choice to yourself. Soon the phrase alone will trigger the change of posture and the feelings of confidence. The phrase may be something like "I am number one," or "Self-esteem now," or "Relax confidently."So stand up tall with head erect, say your key phrase affirmation and boost your self-esteemDay 32:

Take a brisk walk and boost your self-esteemContinuing on this series of using your physiology to change your mood, when you walk in a past pace, more blood flows in your through your body and brings more oxygen to your brain. This alone will improve your mood. Also fast walking shows everyone (including yourself) that you mean business and you have places to go. Another advantage of ambling at speed is that you use more energy and boost your resting metabolic rate.As you walk at speed stand tall and erect like someone with self-confidence and high self-esteem. When you act as if you have high self-esteem you will boost your self-esteem and soon you'll no longer be acting.Day 33:

Celebrate a victory by buying yourself a gift and boost your self-esteemWhen you have a success it is important to acknowledge your victory. Getting yourself a gift, symbolically ritualizes your accomplishment. The gift need not cost a lot. When you buy yourself a gift, it is truly the thought that counts. Add a card and write the occasion of your achievement. Keep this card handy to remind you of your success. And while you are about it remember to add each achievement to the list of your successes and do review and read that list often.So whenever you have a victory large or small get yourself a gift and boost your self-esteem by celebrating the success. As you acknowledge your achievements, you'll notice that you become more competent in whatever you do and you'll get into a positive cycle of increasing self-esteem giving you more victories which will give you more occasions to celebrate.... And so it goes....And that's the best way for it to go....Up, up, and away.....

Day 34:When you got lemons make lemonade and boost your self-esteem

It is Sunday today and it is raining very hard. This is uncommon here in Southern

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California and we are not used to it. So we have lit the fireplace, took our books out and are spending the day enjoying a cozy comfort type of a day. The point is that there is always something that you can do to enjoy and appreciate life. To paraphrase Shakespeare: "It is not the facts themselves which matter but it's you attitude to those facts which matter."It is July 31 2000 and I'm revisiting this page. I have a bad earache. I was trying to think of how to get some advantage from this. The best I can come up with is to be happy that only one ear is aching. I'm taking lots of vitamins and using self-hypnosis to aid the body in producing the cure. So sometimes you just have to accept your lemons. This loving acceptance of whatever is will boost your self-esteem and help produce needed change faster.

Day 35:Send yourself some flowers and boost your self-esteem

We continue with things you can do for yourself easily and cheaply. Again you do not need to spend a huge amount. You can even pick the flowers from your garden, countryside, roadside or where ever. The real issue is to acknowledge yourself and the fact that you deserve to be appreciated. Remember whatever is appreciated appreciates in value.Once you get the flowers have fun with them as though your favorite person in the universe had sent you these flowers. Take your time to cut the stems and place the flowers in your favorite vase. Cutting all the leaves bellow the water line and placing an aspirin pill in the water will preserve the flowers for a longer time. Also periodically replace the water and cut the stems higher. As you look after your flowers give yourself the suggestion that you are looking after yourself.Day 36:

Listen to some calming classical music and boost your self-esteem.Classical music can calm the mind, heal the body and make the spirit soar. Chose whatever type you enjoy. Slow "Largo" movements of Baroque music is supposed to help with learning and memory. Other music like that of Mozart are supposed to increase intelligence and creativity. The verdict is still not in on the validity of these researches. The fact is that good classical music does relax one and lowers one's stress level.So spend an evening just listening to good classical music and improve your health and boost your self-esteem.Day 37:

Be kind to a stranger and boost your self-esteem.There is nothing better than being kind to a complete stranger to boost your self-esteem. It is a fact that it is impossible to value others without valuing yourself and also it its impossible to value yourself without valuing others. When you are kind to a stranger there is an inner glow you feel. You show that you value humanity and life.Do whatever you can. A single smile might make somebody's day. A hello can go a long way. Donating money to charity can make you feel so good. It does not need to be a lot. A little can do lots of good and can go a long long way. Put a quarter in someone's parking meter if it is about to run out. You will feel so good.Day 38:

Boost your self-esteem by using affirmations

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Affirmations are short powerful sentences which are repeated over and over. This repetition has a wonderful effect on the psyche and will definitely boost one's self esteem. The rules about affirmations are similar to those for well formed goals we have mentioned previously. They are typically in the first person singular, short, precise and in the present tense. We'll start today with a most famous one from Emile Coue and will give you a few each day for the coming few days since we are going away on a short vacation. We will post these now read them a day at a time or all as soon as you desire. The choice is yours.

Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better.Added June 19, 2006: There are four other ways of saying most affirmations. One way uses your name instead of the "I". The other uses "you" instead of the "I." In the other two you use your name and I or you. Thus if the base affirmation is: "I approve of myself," we would get these other three affirmations:"You approve of yourself" (This is to be repeated when looking at yourself in a mirror)."Javad, approves of himself." "I, Javad, approve of myself." "You, Javad, approve of yourself."Day 39:

Use affirmations continuedWe continue with some more affirmations:The Christ in me forgives the Christ in you.The above affirmation comes from The above affirmation comes from Catherine Ponder. I used this affirmation at a time when a partner had embezzled much from me and I was full of resentment my life was going downward fast. Using this affirmation of forgiveness I was able to forgive, stop the resentments, and turn my life around. Later on we'll have a segment on the exceptional power of forgiveness. For now just use the above affirmation whenever you resent someone and you just cannot get yourself to forgive them. Remember "Love is for-giving."Other affirmations from Catherine Ponder:"I release this to the father. I let go and trust.""I am a divine idea in the mind of God."Buy some books by Catherine Ponder:

Prosperity Secrets of the Ages Open Your Mind to Prosperity Open Your Mind to Receive Prospering Power of Love Day 40:

Use affirmations continuedWe continue with some more affirmations:

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The universe is abundant. Therefore I naturally feel abundant. All my needs are met.

The above is from a book called Affirmations by Stuart Wilde. Another from the same book:

I grant myself forgiveness and complete absolution.Buy books by Stuart Wilde:Affirmations The ForceMiracles 'Life Was Never Meant to Be a Struggle' Day 41:

Use affirmations continuedWe continue with some more affirmations:

Three from the Michelangelo Weight Management SeminarTM

I eat foods which are good for me and I easily and lovingly approach my perfect weight.

I approve of myself.

I take full responsibility for all my actions and all that happens to me.

Day 42:Use affirmations continued

We continue with some more affirmations:

I relax and let go and wonderful things come to me.

Today I take full control of my life.

No matter what goes on my inner light protects me.

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Day 43:Use affirmations continued

We continue with some more affirmations:

I expect the best from people and I receive the best from all people.

I love life and it shows.

With every breath I'm thankful.Day 44:

Listen to your favorite dance music and dance.There are very few things other than our biological need for food, shelter, love which are common to all cultures. One common aspect of being a human is the fact that we make music and we dance. Music soothes the soul and dance may make our spirits sour. In many cultures dancing is part of sacred rituals. In our culture dancing is often an integral part of growing up. Babies will move themselves to the rhythm of music and smile.

So put on your favorite music and dance, dance, dance.

Day 45:Appreciate your health and boost your self-esteem

It is interesting how we take things we have for granted and only complain when things go wrong. Typically we have good health and we do not even notice. The human body is such a wonderful miracle of interrelated systems and has such excellent self-healing capacity that we take it for granted. Well, today tell your body how you appreciate it. The body listens to your conscious thoughts through your unconscious mind. As you appreciate your health and thank your body, it will keep its health longer and will pay you back many fold for your gratitude.And if you have any health problems appreciate the parts of your body which are well, since that is a great miracle in itself. This will start healing the parts which are not so well. As you wake up scan your body in mind's eye and send healing thoughts all over your body. Take a few deep breaths and relax your mind and body and say an affirmation like:

• I claim good health as my birthright. • I love being healthy. • Peace.... • Love.... • Wholeness....

The last three will improve your health even though you do not directly mention your health.Day 46:

Say no and boost your self-esteem

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Learning to say no when we want to say no may be difficult for some people. We have learned to be compliant or to make excuses. Someone invites us to a party we have no intention to go and we say, "I'll try." At other times we do something we do not want to just because we are too scared to say no. No matter how much we fool ourselves deep down we know the truth and this lowers our self-esteem. However, when we say no our inner self knows this and our self-esteem increases.Be authentic, diplomatic and truthful. People can take your negative answers. In the long run your friends will prefer your honesty and the fact that you are not letting them down at the last moment. So be tactful but say no and boost your self-esteem.Day 47:

Watch some young children at play and boost your self-esteemAll babies are born with an extremely high self-esteem. As we grow up we hear many more nos than yeses. Slowly our natural self-esteem is diminished by a harsh environment. When we watch young children at play, we can remember that earlier time of innocence and natural exuberance. We have an instinct of desiring to protect children and this alone causes us to become happy whenever we see babies of any species. Thus watching kittens or puppies at play can also help boost our self-esteem.Day 48:

Spring clean and boost your self-esteemOpen up the windows. Let in some fresh air. These words are reflective of one of the biggest house cleanings of recent years, that taken on by the great Pope John XXIII when he called for Vatican II. That cleaning was well overdue and brought out many surprises... Spring cleaning can be exciting, not just hard work. We open closets, drawers, and pull out old "stuff" that is just taking up space. We wash windows and can see better. We move the furniture to clean the dust from behind and underneath... We can do this within ourselves as well. When we clean, when we open ourselves, emotionally or spiritually cleanse ourselves, we position ourselves to allow in new things, new opportunities, and to experience new growth.Day 49:

Celebrate the Vernal equinox and boost your self-esteemToday is the Vernal equinox. It is one of the two days with the day and night being equal. This important day is marked by various ancient calendar systems such as the Stone Henge and the pyramids of Egypt. The reason these calendar systems indicated this day was so that the seasons would be known for planting and farming. At this time life renews itself in the Northern hemisphere.It is the first day of Spring. It is a time of newborn animals and rejuvenated plants full of blossoms. It is a time of new dreams. Time to renew ourselves and to celebrate. From ancient times, many cultures and religions have welcomed this season of the year with a variety of rituals. In fact traditionally this was the time of new year. It was the beginning of March with December being the tenth month as suggested by the name.Musicians capture the mood spring in playful tunes, poetry proliferates from experts' and novices' pens. This first day of Spring heralds in the New Year, Norouz, for Iranians the world over. We wish all of us a happy New Year!Day 50:

Preview your day and boost your self-esteem.

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When you wake up, go through the coming day in your mind's eye. What things would you like to do today? What do you need to achieve on this day to make the rest of your life wonderful and bring out your inner potential. Think about your short term and long term goals. Ask yourself the question, "What can I do today to achieve my short term and long term goals?" Now just relax and allow your unconscious mind supply you with answers. Next use some positive affirmations to motivate you. Now use your imagination to visualize yourself successfully doing all the things you need to do this day to achieve your short term and long term goals. See yourself acting in a successful manner. Hear the things you would feel when you are doing your best and feel the feelings associated with the achievement. Mentally rehearse a wonderful successful day.Now you are ready to get up and have a most excellent day.When you preview your day you'll be sawing the seeds of success and your self-esteem will increase. This increase of your self-esteem will further help make true the things you previewedDay 51:

Review your day and boost your self-esteem.When you are in bed and you are about to go to sleep go over the past day in your mind's eye. Remember all your successes large and small. Ask yourself the questions, "What did I do today to take me nearer to my short term and long term goals? What could I have improved? What lessons were there to be learned from the events of this day?" Now just relax and allow your unconscious mind supply you with answers. Next use some positive affirmations to motivate you. Finally give yourself the suggestion to have wonderful dreams. Now you are ready to go to sleep and have a most relaxing night of sleep.Day 52:

Say thank you to compliments and boost your self-esteemMany people find it difficult to accept compliments gracefully. They think that they have to be humble and bring themselves down. In a retreat many years ago a Jesuit priest defined humility in one word. He said, "Humility is...... truth." If someone gives you a sincere compliment, you can simply say, "thank you,"knowing that it is not arrogant nor conceited to accept what that person says, but is a humble acknowledgment of his/her appreciation of a quality you have. In the same way, when you notice something in someone that you appreciate, let that person know. Remember, when you appreciate something or somebody, the value of that thing or that person goes up.Day 53:

Give yourself compliments and boost your self-esteemThe next step after managing to accept complements gracefully, and after learning to give others complements is to give yourself complements. That is a harder step to take for many people. However, understanding that "humility is truth" can help you to take a truthful look at yourself. In that look, you will see positive qualities, not only the easier negatives to spot. As a way to understand and accept your positive qualities, write down at least ten positive qualities you have. These qualities can be physical, emotional, intellectual, or spiritually based. If you find this exercise difficult to do, first make a list of the qualities of someone you admire. After you have completed this list, notice how many of these attributes pertain to you as well. Day 54:

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Stay in bed late and boost your self-esteem.There are so many little things you can do for yourself which can do your self-esteem so much good. One of these is to sleep in. We live in an extremely fast paced world and most of us suffer from sleep deprivation. This is stressful to the mind/body and like all stress makes our lives difficult and lowers our resistance to further physiological and mental stressors. Fortunately we can catch up with our lack of sleep and recover from some of the effects of sleep deprivation by getting extra sleep on weekends. So turn the phone off, tell your spouse to look after the kids today (you can return the favor next weekend) and enjoy a wonderful long nights sleep. Before you nod off suggest that you have dreams to boost your creativity, solve your problems and increase your self-esteem....Day 55:

Spend some time alone an boost your self-esteem.Solitude is wonderful, cleansing to the soul and refreshing to the spirit, while loneliness is abysmal, hurtful to the soul and damaging to the spirit. Objectively what is the difference between these two? Think about it: we are spending some time alone and the important thing is our attitude toward what is going on. If we appreciate this state of being at one with ourselves, we experience solitude and our self-esteem soars. On the other hand if we feel this as an enforced aloneness then we feel lonely, dejected and our self-esteem diminishes. So learn to live lovingly with yourself.Added June 20, 2006: Blaise Pascal wrote about this that all of the worlds problems arise from the fact that people don't know how to sit alone silently for half an hour.

Day 56:Hug a pet and boost your self-esteem

Pet's have a wonderful effect of lowering our blood pressure, boosting our immune system and in general making us feel better. Various research studies have proved that when we look after pets or plants our health improves and we live longer. In one study old people who had to look after pets got sick less often, recovered from any illness much quicker and lived longer than the control group who did not look after pets.When we look after others and love others we understand that we have to look after ourselves and love ourselves in order to have enough to give to our object of care and love. So if you have a pet appreciate your pet. If you don't have a pet think about getting one (you can always get some goldfish if you live in a place which does not allow cats or dogs). If you cannot get a pet think about visiting a friend who has a pet and appreciate his/her pet.As it happens one of our cats is sitting next to me at this moment and allowing me the great pleasure of letting me pet her. She just left. Remember your pets are independent beings. Respect their wishes and boundaries and the rewards will be huge.Added June 20, 2006: Remember that even looking after a plant has wonderful relaxing effects. Research has demonstrated that old people who look after pets or plants live longer than those who do not have any other being dependent on them. Day 57:

Work in your garden and boost your self-esteemThe principle here is similar to that of yesterday's. When we look after another living being we feel needed and our self-esteem increases. Some people might find it odd that

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we refer to plants as beings, but if you have ever worked in a garden and cultivated your plants, cared for them nourished them, you would know exactly what we mean. There is some research that shows talking and singing to our plants makes the grow healthier and more fruitful. It may be that when we talk or sing to our plants we breath carbon dioxide onto them and hence nourish them. No matter why the positive effect on the plant we get a wonderful positive effect on ourselves when we talk and sing to our plants. The point here is to look after some plants. If we live in a small apartment in the city we can still care for a potted plant or a little indoor herb garden.Day 58:

Contact an old friend an boost your self-esteem.There is an old camp song you may remember. It goes something like this, "Make new friends but keep the old, some are silver and the others gold...." There is nothing quite as awesome as contacting an old friend. Years may have passed, but shared memories remain. Sitting around discussing the "good old days" is therapeutic. If you have thought about contacting an old friend, why not do it now?Day 59:

Go to a park and smell the flowers and boost your self-esteem.Continuing our theme of enjoying and appreciating nature at this spring time, you could do your self so much good and have great fun by going to a park and enjoying the flowers and other plants. We live in a society that allows us to be near artificial nature even in the largest of our cities. Better still, we can get to the country side very easily. For those of us who live in the country and commune with nature all the time it is good to spend this spring period in appreciating the natural changes that take place during the seasons of the year and seasons of our lives.Day 60:

Sing in the shower and boost your self-esteem.Singing in the shower is great fun. It is great therapy as well. It is one place you do not have to have a good voice to belt it out. Coincidentally, the steam from the shower actually helps your voice sound better. Being able to sing without worrying about being on or off key helps to clear the emotions. Great arias, hip hop, reggae, oldies but goodies all have the same affect. Let yourself sing your heart out and have fun.Day 61:

Boost your self-esteem by donating some bloodWhen one donates blood one give the gift of life. It feels so good to know that one is contributing toward saving a fellow human's life. Some people are scared of donating blood, falsely imagining that it is possible to catch diseases through donation of blood. In fact the blood banks always use fresh sterilized needles and not only is donating blood totally safe but in fact it lowers ones chances of heart disease.

As a personal note: I used to have an injection phobia and used an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) technique to remove my phobia and donate blood to the children's hospital in Los Angeles. I cannot recommend this too highly. Today I donated my 17th pint of blood to the children's hospital and I feel so good knowing that my blood is helping save some child's life.The method is described here : Boost your self-esteem by countering negative experiences using NLP

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Postscript: It is 03/31/01 and I have now donated my 21st pint. Next week I'll donate another pint. I find it a great self-esteem booster. And they give you orange juice and cookies to boost. Seriously though, think about this: "If someone was involved in a car accident in front of you and she* was bleeding to death, would you be ready to save her life by donating a pint of your blood?" If you would, then be ready to save someone's life even though you do not see the person who needs your blood.Day 62:

Write a letter of criticism to yourself.Start the letter with dear your name and then write underneath, "No matter what you do or have done you are lovable and I love you." Then write every negative thing you may think about yourself and finally end the letter with I still love you very much and sign your name to the letter. Once you can accept the two facts that you have some faults and you deserve unconditional love your self-esteem improves. Remember some of your criticisms may be deserved and most are not. We tend to be very critical of ourselves. The positive point is that no matter what we deserve to be appreciated and loved. Treat yourself as an ideal parent would treat her* child with total unconditional love.Added 04/01/01: After completing the letter you may want to repeat this affirmation over and over again:

• "I approve of myself." We recommend the repetition of this of the above powerful affirmation many times a day in your spare time. Thus you are stuck behind a red light, in stead of getting frustrated use the time constructively: "I approve of myself." Waiting for the computer to connect to Internet: "I approve of myself." First thing in the morning you wake up: "I approve of myself." Last thing at night: "I approve of myself."Day 63:

Learn ten new words and boost your self-esteem.One of the most important indicators of a person's success in business is the size of his/her vocabulary. It is very easy to increase one's knowledge by learning new words. There are many books dedicated to this task. Looking through a dictionary or thesaurus can be great fun and enlightening. When you read a book or newspaper note the words you do not understand and look these up. Soon you'll understand them in context.

As always be thankful and appreciate that we are the only species with a sophisticated language. It is true that some higher primates may be taught to use symbolic language but with a vocabulary of about 500. Most people get by with a vocabulary of about 5000 out of a possible 250000 in English Language. Well educated erudite people need have a vocabulary of more than 15000. It really does not matter where you are today. The point is you can have so much fun while improving your vocabulary and thus chances of success.

Day 64:Give thanks and boost your self-esteem

An attitude of gratitude does us a whole world of wonder. When we appreciate our family, our friends, our pets, our goods, our country or anything else the object of our appreciation appreciates in value. There are so many wonders in this world to be thankful for. Do you realize that the average American today is much better off materially than the

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richest people in the world a hundred years ago? Just think of all the miracles around us. We have cars, computers, radios, televisions, phones and cell phones.... The list is endless. Some of these wonders were the stuff of science fiction less than thirty years ago. Others were unthinkable a hundred years ago. Appreciate these and also your mental, spiritual and health gifts. Concentrate on what is good and wonderful in your life and their value will increase and you will attract more of these gifts to you.

Day 65:Visit a cemetery and boost your self-esteem

This suggestion sounds quite gruesome. Yet walking through a cemetery can be thought provoking and help us to put our own lives in perspective. Many years ago, I (ek) remember walking through an old cemetery in a small town in Nevada. As I walked among the wooden markers, I was taken with reading the tombstones. One of them impacted me for years to come. It said, "Dear Georgie - May 1892-June 1892". Those words conjured up pictures of a family and with it pathos for their experience. Life, I was reminded that day, when I was still in my 20's, passed quickly, and we need to experience it as best we can....Since that time, members of my own family have joined Georgie. Both he and they each influenced me in some way. Enjoy life. Dare to experience new things. Take risks. Move ahead, trusting yourself to accomplish those dreams.Day 66:

Spend some time in a library and boost your self-esteem.Libraries are full of wonderful surprises and they are totally free! When was the last time you used your library? If it was a long time ago just go and visit your local library. Here you find books, magazines, audio and video tapes. Just walk around. Brows through the shelves. Maybe you find an intriguing title. Go ahead open the book. Read a few paragraphs. Perhaps you'll find a new friend (a new topic you never knew you were interested in) for the rest of your life. Read a magazine you might never read. Examine a magazine with an opposite point of view to yours. Smile at the librarians. They do an excellent job under trying circumstances. Let them know that you appreciate them. Remember as you appreciate people and things their value increases.Day 67:

Be a vegetarian for a day and boost your self-esteem.Anything different and harmless will increase your choices and boost your self-esteem. Physiologists and dieticians have argued about the ideal diet for human beings. Some claim that a full vegetarian diet is the ideal and other admit that even though basically we are omnivorous by nature our modern diet has too much meat for our own good. So go ahead and experiment for one day. Cut all meat and animal fat from your food. Your body will thank you for not intaking the poisons such as growth hormones and antibiotic fed to our farm animals. Your spirit will thank you for not participating in the cruelty which is modern factory farming. Finally mother earth will thank you since a vegetarian diet produces much less pollution than a diet full of meat.

If you find it impossible to go without meat for a single day, at least replace some red meet with fish or poultry. Day 68:

Accept that we are all fallible and boost your self-esteem

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Fight perfectionism. It is so easy to be paralyzed by a desire to do everything just right. We came up with the idea of this series (365 ways to boost your self-esteem) over two years ago. However, we wanted to write it just right. We waited and waited hoping to make it the best we could. The longer we waited the less we did. We had had a great idea but we could never start the project. Eventually we decided to go for it and put it on the web. This has forced us to do one of these ways each day. So we have just continued to add new entries each day. There has been times that we have missed our deadline by 24 hours but having committed ourselves we have continued. The point is that these snippets may be far from perfect but they are far better than nothing at all. As they nothing ventured nothing gained.

NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."Day 69:

Learn a new skill and boost your self-esteem.This is great self-esteem booster. As a child we knew no learning boundaries. By the age of two we could walk and talk. Each of these skills are extremely difficult and yet we take them totally for granted. Now go learn a foreign language. Remember the two year old French child speaks rudimentary French and by age of five has a large vocabulary. There are so many new skills you could gain. It has been shown that when very old people use their brains and learn new skills they remain young and retain their memory. However, when people do not learn new things their brains loose their plasticity become rigid and their memory weakens. As they say use it or loose it.A few skills you may learn:

• Another language. In Iran we believe that each language you know gives you a new aspect to your soul. Anyone who is bilingual knows that there are concepts which do not exist in both languages. There are thoughts which cannot be thought in one language or the other.

• New words in your own language. • New subject or study a subject you loved at school. Thus every now and then I

study some mathematics and physics. I have great fun. Those were my favorite subjects at school. Yours may be different. Study something you used to love and you'll have fun while boosting your self-esteem.

• Gardening skills. • Culinary skills. Learn to cook foods which are very tasty as well as being very

healthy. • Skills to help you improve your job situation. The half life of a software engineer

is eighteen months. Thus a graduate of software engineering will be seventy-five percent obsolete if she* stops learning as soon as she leaves university.

• Musical instrument.

NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."Day 70:

Tell someone you respect him* and boost your self-esteem.Too often we find it so easy to complain and be critical. When something is wrong we

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scream from the top of our heads. However, we are too slow to let people know when they have done a wonderful job. We are also too slow to admit (even to ourselves) that we have done a wonderful job. The two go together. We can only respect others when we respect ourselves and we can only respect ourselves when we respect others. Thus when someone does something well, or when someone is kind or anything which you respect let them know it. The best time to give a complement and positively reinforce behaviors you appreciate is immediately after the behavior or for an ongoing behavior, like wearing a pretty dress, is as soon as you notice the behavior. Only tell someone you respect him* when you can do so honestly and sincerely. At the same time when someone tells you that she* respects you, accept that graciously and lovingly. Most importantly understand there are so many reasons why you need respect yourself. Thus let yourself know that you respect yourself and boost your self esteem.

NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 71:Ask for something and boost your self-esteem

Too often we are too shy to ask. What is the worst thing that can happen? The other person can say no. It is interesting how often we can get a discount if only we ask. Each time we ask for something we are being proactive and self-assertive and our self-esteem rises. It is not so important whether we get what we ask for or not the real point is that we ask. When we ask we show ourselves and others that we take ourselves seriously and we value ourselves. The fact that more often than not we gain something material when we ask is an icing on the cake.Added June 20, 2006: Stuart Wilde writes about an exercise he gives that people have to go next to a certain place (say the local post office) and ask the direction to that place. This soon teaches one to not be shy and ask when we want to ask.

NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."Day 72:

Understand when it is time to change your approach and boost your self-esteemIt is so easy to become engulfed and obsessed in a project so that we keep repeating the same actions again and again to no avail. A wise person once said madness was the expectation that the same cause in the same condition would produce a different effect and yet so often we do exactly this. When we notice that this is what is happening we need to pause, break the pattern and then we can use a different approach. Sometimes when we stuck in a task or solving a problem it is best to change what we are doing completely. At times you may want to drink a glass of water or perhaps take a short walk.For difficult tasks when you are totally stuck, "Sleeping on it" will often change our perspective and give us totally new ways of doing things. When you are about to go to sleep give your unconscious mind the command that it will come up with the answers to

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your problem....When you sleep on it have a notebook handy so you may record your ideas as soon as you wake up. Many a time you will solve your problems in your dreams but will very quickly forget the solutions upon waking up.When you train yourself to sleep on your problems and you keep that dream notebook next to your bed, you'll be amazed in the morning.... Day 73:

Slow down and appreciate life more and boost your self-esteemWe live in an extremely fast paced era and our country leads the world in this field. We have sound bytes, MTV editing, downsizing, fast food, micro-management, and worst still nano-management. We move so fast that we don't have time to appreciate life. We gobble our food down, inhaling it without tasting it and since it has no real nutrition or spiritual value we hunger dissatisfied. We channel surf from one low quality program to the next and yet the craving for something uplifting remains. I could go on and on....Yet I have to slow down....When we slow down we can appreciate our good fortune and value our life....So whatever you are doing listen to the great poet Paul Simon:"Slow down, you're moving too fast..."And then you'll be "feeling groovy."Added 03/12/01: Have you ever noticed that you could drive along the same route on a daily basis and yet you are not in the here and now. You pass the most beautiful sites and you just do not see. Jesus was talking about such people who have eyes and yet cannot see; who have ears and yet cannot hear. Then one day something happens and suddenly you notice something for the first time. The other night I had a great experience in my wisdom studies class. We were studying an extra sublime poem by Rumi and we all were in an ecstatic mood when the class ended and for the first time I noticed these wonderful flowers in the atrium outside the class....Day 74:

Listen to your own advice and boost your self-esteemYesterday I wrote about slowing down basically since it was the best advice for me. Recently I have been working very hard in order to improve this site and bring up other websites. We have had some kind feedback from some of you who mentioned you enjoy these tidbits and look forward to them each day. Thanks.... That's what keeps us going....We wanted to increase the number of people who enjoy these columns. So I (JH) started learning how to promote our site. It ended up that we needed to have synergistically cooperating sites. To this end we'll be putting up a few sites in the next months. Some will be related to this site and others are not. The point is that I have been working nonstop the last week getting less than five hours of sleep each night. That's why I wrote the slow down column yesterday...Tonight I'm taking my own advice and going to bed early....The point is remain true to yourself. If you preach one thing and act in another your self-esteem and self-worth decrease. However, if you are congruent and listen to your own inner guides (and after all who knows your needs better than your own unconscious mind) you show that you value your beliefs and your self-esteem and dignity (worth) increases.

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Thank you....I am off to a well deserved rest!Zzzzzzzzzzz......

There is a story which I have heard in slightly different variations about both Mohammed and Gandhi. It is most probably the way wise people would behave. I'll tell the two variations of it so I can honor both of the masters.A mother was concerned about her son who had diabetes was yet eating sugar which was bad for his health. So she took him to Gandhi and asked that he should tell him not to eat any sugar Gandhi told the woman to return in three weeks. Three weeks later the woman returned and Gandhi told her son, "Do not eat any sugar." The lady asked Gandhi, "Gandhi-ji, it took me three days to get here from my village, and then three days to return and now another three days. Why couldn't you tell my son to stop eating sugar three weeks ago?" Gandhi replied, "Three weeks ago I loved sugar and would eat a lot. I had to stop eating it myself before I could advise you son."The story with Mohammed starts in same way with the mother asking the Prophet to tell her son to eat less sugar. Again he tells her to return in a weeks time. When she returns, he tells the son, "Eat less than one ounce of sugar a week." The woman thanks him and leaves. One of the companions asks him, "Prophet of God, how come you didn't say this a week ago?" Mohammed replied, "I too loved sugar and ate too much. I had to see how much I could cut down before I could advise anyone else."Day 75:

Buy yourself a gift and boost your self-esteem.In this case it is definitely the thought that matters. When you consciously and deliberately buy yourself a gift you are showing yourself that you care. This is different from going out impulse shopping when you are down and depressed. Here you think about some success you have had or reason to celebrate (like your birthday) you select a gift with the same attention and care that you would when choosing a gift for anyone else that you love. Ideally you would wrap the gift and keep it for a time and open the gift at the allotted time (you birthday or whenever you have chosen for your celebration).Day 76:

Make a pot of homemade soup and boost your self-esteemMother new best. When you felt sick she gave you a bowl of hot chicken soup and you felt comforted and well cared for. She was proud of herself and knew that she had looked after her children. The act of making that homemade soup can start giving you that certain inner glow. Be deliberate. Chose an old recipe and buy choice ingredients. Add the ingredients with loving care. Cook slowly over a low flame. At last the soup is ready. Enjoy....You deserve the best.Day 77:

Boost your self-esteem by repeating "I like myself" or "I approve of myself."This is one of the best affirmations you may use. Another version of the same affirmation is, "I approve of myself." No matter which one you choose to use, repeat it over and over first thing in the morning, last thing at night just before you go to sleep, and also at different times during the day. Once you are used to this powerful affirmation you can use it whenevr you are about to tackle a difficult task.

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So just read the following....."I approve of myself.""I approve of myself.""I approve of myself.""I approve of myself.""I approve of myself.""I approve of myself.""I approve of myself.""I approve of myself.""I approve of myself.""I approve of myself."Day 78:

Give up a minor addiction for a day and boost your self-esteem.We all have some form of addiction whether it is to needing that first cup of coffee in the morning to wake us up or smoking or needing a glass of wine each night to relax. Find something that you imagine you cannot do without for twenty four hours and decide you will do without. Use your personal power and inner strength. Remember this is an exercise in strengthening your will power. Start with something easy. Perhaps you need that morning cup of coffee real bad. Delay having it by half an hour. Once you can do that, you may wish to increase this to an hour and so on. Soon your will power muscles will strengthen and you will be able to give up that minor addiction for a day. Remember that self hypnosis and relaxation will help beat any addiction. At the end of the twenty four hours you'll feel so good about this piece of self-control you may want to continue giving up your addiction for a few hours more and then God knows.Day 79:

Persist in the face of adversity and boost your self-esteem.Make a list of three people with less education (or whatever) than you and they succeeded at something you would like to try. There are so many high school and university drop outs who contributed huge amounts to the advancement of humanity that the lack of formal education should never be allowed to hold you back.Think of Thomas Edison and Henry Ford both moved mountains without high school diplomas. However, they were both highly educated. Thus I'm not denigrating education but noting that there are many ways of becoming educated in other ways....When you are fearful of doing something because you think you do not have all it takes to do the task, think of the characteristic you believe is a handicap. Now think of three people (either personally known to you or from lives of famous people past or present) who succeeded in spite of this apparent handicap. The point is that if they could do it, so can you....Story for today:Timour the lame (Timberlane) the great Emperor and world conqueror had lost a battle early on in his career. He hid in cave and was about to give up and kill himself in abject misery and despair. Suddenly in front of him he noticed an ant carrying a giant seed up the wall of the cave. Timour became fascinated. He forgot about his own worries. The ant

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climbed half way up the wall and then he fell down. Once more the ant started his arduous climb. Again and again the ant fell half way up the wall and yet he continued on his Sysiphian quest. Finally after thirty-three attempts the ant was successful in climbing the cave wall. The great emperor to be thought to himself, "Am I less than this ant?" With this he left the cave.... Soon the lost battle was forgotten and Timour won many battles to come, becoming a great general and Emperor.Day 80:

Greet each one you meet with love in your heart.Some people are concerned that having high self-esteem is the equivalent of being narcissistic. However, this is far from the truth. It is impossible to love others without loving yourself. And the corollary is just as true. It is absolutely impossible to truly love yourself without loving others. When we use the term love we mean true unconditional love that Jesus and other religious leaders meant. In today's exercise we spread this type of love around. As you pass each person you meet today smile at them inside and silently say "I love you." Remember all you actions are internal. If you feel comfortable silently ask God, the spirit or whatever term you wish to use to bless this person and then move on. It is interesting how much easier one's commute becomes when one practices this exercise sincerely. It is very difficult to become totally and uncontrollably angry with some one you have just blessed and sent love to. The Hindu greeting of Namaste is a wonderful thing to keep in mind when doing this exercise. Namaste means the Divinity in me greets the Divinity in you. Another way to say this is, "The Christ in me greets the Christ in you." However, you do it is wonderful. Just walk around today with love in your heart. You'll have a wondrous, extraordinary day.From the bottom of our hearts to you: Day 81:

Remember when one door closes another opens.Many a time some event shakes us and we think it is the end of the world. The doors which were wide open in front of us suddenly slam closed in front of us. This is the moment of darkness. We don't know what has happened. We don't know why it has happened to us. We lose something dear to us. For a while we may become paralyzed. We don't know which way to go.... This reminds me of the story of a novice Zen Buddhist monk and a master. The master's teacher died and at the funeral the master was crying his heart out. The novice who had learned all about the illusoriness of existence and need to control the self asked the master, "Master, why are you crying?" The master replied, "Because I am sad." So when the time is to grieve, admit the sadness. Accept the sadness and the loss....It is important to acknowledge the door which closes. The acknowledgment allows us to move on to the next stage.... To be continued....Day 82:

Meditate and boost your self-esteemThere are many different styles of meditation. Today we do not want to describe in detail any particular form of meditation. In the bible it is written, "Be still and know that I am God." The goal of whatever meditation technique you use is to

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achieve this stillness which brings about a union with the Spirit. One way of achieving this tranquility is through single minded concentration on a single object or thought. A candle is an excellent object for this type of meditation. Burn some incense, light the candle in a dark room and calm the mind as you stare into the flame. As with other forms of meditation, when a thought enters your mind, just observe the thought neutrally without being perturbed that you had a thought. Another type of meditation is Mantram meditation. Here one repeats a single word or phrase over and over. Transcendental Meditation is an example of Mantram meditation and so is the saying of the rosary. Previously I have mentioned that a Zen master once said that a heart full belied laugh does one the equivalent of a thirty minute Zazen (sitting) meditation. In simplest Zazen the participant sit (on a cushion - although for us Westerners a chair will do) and count their breath up to ten and then they start all over again and keep counting to ten.

Day 83:Rejoice.... Another door opens....

Happy Easter.... An event shatters our world.... We grieve.... Then comes time for meditation.... Ultimately there is renewal and rebirth. This is true of everything if one has the right attitude of mind. In the East there is a saying: "Whatever hurts me but does not kill me makes me stronger." I have seen people losing their jobs to layoffs or even people being fired (some fairly and others not). These people became depressed for a while but in every single case they were at better jobs more suited to their personalities within a year. They were happier and within the second year ended up earning more than they would if they had stayed in their old jobs.... So on this Easter Sunday remember that after each disaster a time must pass and then there is a resurrection....

NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 84:Surround someone or some situation your dislike (hate)

with loveWhen you dislike or hate a person, event, situation, country or anything else all you are doing is to increase hatred in the world. As Jesus said it is easy to love your brother what is difficult is to love someone you hate. How should you do this?Firstly admit that it is difficult. Admit that every part of your ego desires to continue the hatred and discord. This is the start of the healing process.

Next you could do a healing/unconditional light meditation. This is a guided visualization in which you imagine you are covering the other person with a pink light. Pink light represents unconditional love. As we mentioned a few days ago you can say to the person (in your imagination) Namaste (the divinity in me salutes the divinity in you). If you find it very difficult to surround the person or situation with love say to yourself, "The Christ in me sends unconditional love to the Christ in

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XXX." Where XXX stands for the person or situation. This particular meditation is very strong when countries are at war. Send the people of the enemy country love. Remember that politicians may start wars but the people are always the victims of all wars.When you send unconditional love out, through a miracle of love, your love returns to you multiplied many fold and you get a great boost in your self-esteem. As a personal note: Please no matter how you feel about the Elian Gonzalez case send unconditional love to all concerned especially the six year old child himself.Love to all of youJavad and Elaine It is now a year later and it seams that Elian is doing fine back home with his father and the Cuban government has not used him as a political tool. We still wish to send love to all concerned. Often in family squabbles everyone is right and after all, all humanity is a single family. Today we look at the situation in Israel/Palestine and see two tribes which are basically brother tribes or at least cousins fighting each other. We ask all to send love to both sides. Shalom - Salam.

Day 85:Ask for wisdom for your enemies and yourself and

boost your self-esteem.Sometimes yesterday's exercise of surrounding someone you dislike or hate with love is just too difficult to do given one's present state of consciousness. At this time one may pray that the Ultimate Spirit increases the wisdom of all concerned (including ourselves). When wisdom increases animosity diminishes and ultimately vanishes. As one does this one can send blessing toward the person concerned or at least the towards the situation. A good prayer is: "Let the Infinite Spirit give all of us involved in this situation more wisdom so we can understand the inner divinity within all and let this understanding dissolve all dissension between us."

Day 86:Send blessing to each person you meet.

Today's exercise is to be done silently. Just bless whoever you meet. Do not differentiate between people you like and people you dislike. This exercise when performed sincerely can do wonders for you when driving in traffic jams. It is rather difficult to become truly angry at people as you are sending them love and blessing. It is important to understand in the current series about love and forgiveness that whatever you give out returns to you multiplied. When you send out love and blessings your total health improves. By total health we mean the health of your body/mind/soul/spirit.We cannot emphasize this issue that forgiveness is for you. As a great man once said, "There is no need for you to like, or ever again contact a person you forgive. You just need to cut the invisible chains which bind you together."

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Please contemplate these words: Love is forgiving.NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 87:Forgive someone who has harmed youIn the past few days we have discussed some of the methods involved in forgiving others. Today we discuss why forgiving is necessary for our own well being.

The Lord's Prayer end's with forgive our debts as we forgive our debtors. This points to the great psycho-spiritual truth that hatred and resentment bind us to the object of our hatred with an invisible chain of mutual destruction. In order for us to be free of the person who we perceive as having hurt us we must clear the resentment and hatred. When we forgive we clear the air and open new doors so we can move along to new places with new people. Some people object and say, "Am I supposed to roll over and play dead in front of my persecutors?" That has nothing to do with forgiveness. When we forgive someone we need not have anything to do with that person. We don't even need to like that person. We need not ever see nor contact that person again. Having forgiven the person for past events and actions, we can take all necessary actions to stop us from being harmed in the future. Forgiveness clears the past which is unchangeable and in fact allows us better to take the optimal action in the future. Forgiveness is an act of courage which allows us to move on out of harms way. It is a way of going from the past to the present and then moving on toward the future. The real point of any event is to learn whatever lesson exists in that event and then to move on. When we hold onto negative emotions and memories we end up harming ourselves much more than we could ever hurt or harm the other person. Thus we give the other person huge amount of power over us and we further victimize ourselves. When we forgive, we free ourselves from the other person and our self-esteem immediately gets a boost. Please again think about these words:Love is forgiving.Day 88:Love is For Giving....This concludes the current series on forgiveness. First some techniques.

Before you start the forgiveness choose the person you wish to forgive. To a certain extent the best person to choose is the one who is most difficult to forgive. Remember that so long as you do not forgive somebody that person is bound to you with invisible chains of discord. One thing which may help one to forgive is the fact

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that in past-life therapy we see a karmic dance between two people who keep in turn victimize and be victims to each other. In one life the first person would abuse the other and then in the next the roles would be reversed. This would continue over many lifetimes until one person would refuse to play and dropped out of this vicious game through forgiveness. Now we are not necessarily suggesting that reincarnation is a fact. What we do know is that past life therapy does work and produces wonderful metaphors for our current problems in the here and now. So using this metaphor, the choice is ours. We can refuse to forgive and have the shade of the hated person follow us for the rest of our lives closer than our own shadows or we can forgive and be free. When you find it so difficult to forgive someone ask yourself this question: "Suppose there is something to this reincarnation theory, do I really desire to spend another life with this person? Or am I ready to free myself from his/her influence right now. Once you have chosen the person you can begin the actual forgiveness...

The starting point of forgiveness is quieting of the mind. Take some deep breaths first. Then you may use your favorite relaxation technique. Once your mind is still you may surround the inner image of the person you wish to forgive with pink light of unconditional love. Depending on your religious beliefs use words such as these: "Before God and all loving Spirits, I freely and truly forgive XXX. I forgive and set him/her free. I let go of him/her, and we are free of each other...." Once you have affirmed the forgiveness with words as those preceding you can now ask person or person's you may have harmed in the past for their forgiveness. Finally you cover all people involved and all the situations with pink light of unconditional love.As we said:Love is For Giving....Love is forgiving.... NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 89:Get your priorities right....I was leaving the house and rushing since I was late, when a mangy ugly alley cat who has adopted us came over asking for food. This cat has no one else in the world to feed it and has great difficulty in looking after itself. It found us a few weeks ago since we already feed a few of the neighbors cat. The other cats shun this one and altogether the poor thing is a pretty sorry feline. The reason I'm writing all this is that it was so easy to ignore its pleadings for food. I was late and would be getting back soon and would feed this cat and the others dependent on us.... Then a thought came to me. On their deathbeds, no one ever says, "I wish I had spent twenty more hours at work each week". No one wishes they had better cars or other possessions. What people regret is that they did not spend enough time with their loved ones. That they were not kind and compassionate when they could have been....

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So I went back and brought food out for the cat. I took time to pet him and then I left for my appointment. Sure I got there slightly late, but it was not the end of the world. Inside I felt a warm glow of satisfaction. I boosted my self-esteem my self-worth by caring about a fellow being....I am not suggesting today you do the same. All I am asking is for you to consider how you will feel about things you have done on your death bed. What missed opportunities will you regret? Go for them. What actions you took, you will consider as wasteful? Do less of these. Set your own priorities.... P.S. More than 200 days later: The cat has a name Freddie and has appeared in so many other articles in this series. He has given us so much pleasure.... Even later: Freddie is a most loving and appreciative cat. He is such a blessing.... Added June 19, 2006: Freddie started as an outdoor cat and we were only feeding it. Later on he ended up moving in and living with us. He has such a wonderful loving personality and now he is a most beautiful cat in our eyes. This shows another thing that true beauty is a matter of the internal rather than superficial externalities. Unfortunately too often we only look at the trivial.

NamasteNamaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 89:Get your priorities right....I was leaving the house and rushing since I was late, when a mangy ugly alley cat who has adopted us came over asking for food. This cat has no one else in the world to feed it and has great difficulty in looking after itself. It found us a few weeks ago since we already feed a few of the neighbors cat. The other cats shun this one and altogether the poor thing is a pretty sorry feline. The reason I'm writing all this is that it was so easy to ignore its pleadings for food. I was late and would be getting back soon and would feed this cat and the others dependent on us.... Then a thought came to me. On their deathbeds, no one ever says, "I wish I had spent twenty more hours at work each week". No one wishes they had better cars or other possessions. What people regret is that they did not spend enough time with their loved ones. That they were not kind and compassionate when they could have been.... So I went back and brought food out for the cat. I took time to pet him and then I left for my appointment. Sure I got there slightly late, but it was not the end of the world. Inside I felt a warm glow of satisfaction. I boosted my self-esteem my self-worth by caring about a fellow being....I am not suggesting today you do the same. All I am asking is for you to consider how you will feel about things you have done on your death bed. What missed opportunities will you regret? Go for them. What actions you took, you will consider as wasteful? Do less of these. Set your own priorities.... P.S. More than 200 days later: The cat has a name Freddie and has appeared in so many other articles in this series. He has given us so much pleasure.... Even later: Freddie is a most loving and appreciative cat. He is such a blessing.... Added June 19, 2006: Freddie started as an outdoor cat and we were only feeding it.

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Later on he ended up moving in and living with us. He has such a wonderful loving personality and now he is a most beautiful cat in our eyes. This shows another thing that true beauty is a matter of the internal rather than superficial externalities. Unfortunately too often we only look at the trivial.

Day 90-93 missingDay 94 Boost your self-esteem by being flexible

In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and general system theory and cybernetics there is a principle which states that in any group of systems (or persons) the system (or person) with maximum flexibility of actions (most possibilities of different behaviors) will control the outcome of the totality of the systems. Thus if you are ready to do what it takes and keep changing your behavior when it is not achieving your wants, you will get whatever you want. Children are excellent at being flexible. They'll laugh, cry, obey, scream, throw tantrums, sulk.... the list is almost endless. It is because of this flexibility that they always manage to eventually wear us down and they get what they desire. Now in this case I'm not suggesting that we throw tantrums or scream our heads of. The point is to know your goal. Take an action. See if the action is taking you nearer to your goal. If it is continue the action. If it is not be flexible to try something else. Continue in this mode.... If what you are doing works, do it. If it does not, change to something different. Note that just because something works today, does not mean it will work tomorrow. Be flexible.... You will reach your goals.... You will boost your self-esteem.

Day 95:Boost your self-esteem by following your bliss.

Joseph Campbell used to say follow your bliss. In a study of the Harvard 1953 graduating class 97 percent of the students chose their careers based on earning as much money as possible. The other 3 percent chose their occupations because they loved the jobs in question. In a follow up twenty years later it was discovered that the 3 percent who chose their profession for the love of it, who followed their bliss, were worth more than the other 97 percent combined. An old wizened alley cat saw this kitten chasing his own tail. The old cat, let's call him Fred, asked the kitten,"Why are you chasing your tail?" The kitten replied, "I went to the kitten philosophy school andthey told me that ultimate happiness lies in one's tail. So I am going to bite my own tail and then I'll have ultimate happiness for ever." Fred replied, "I have never been to a philosophy school. But I too have discovered that happiness lies in a cat's tail. I have discovered that if I do what I like, if I do my own thing, if I follow my bliss, my tail just follows me no matter where I go."

Day 96:Boost your self-esteem by doing the right thing.

This is a true story. A friend of ours who is a published author recently wrote a book proposal and sent it to her agent. The agent who liked the work presented it to her

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publisher. The publisher loved the idea. They were very interested in the work, they wanted to publish it. They just had a minor suggestion. If the author was ready to accept this tiny change, they would send her the advance check with promise of future royalties.Our friend did the right thing. She told the publishers to get lost.What was this minor adjustment? What was this thing she refused to do even though she is a very flexible person?The publishing company told her agent that the author was too old and passed it, even though she has a Ph.D. and has published six books. They wanted her to publish the book under the authorship of an attractive female 23 year old.Our friend did the right thing and in the short term she is suffering. However, deep down she knows what she did. She understands that she can respect her decision and action.Please join us and send your love, blessing and great respect to this genuine lady.In my opinion this is a real American hero.Thank you for your great example.

Day 97:Boost your self-esteem by using waiting time for saying

your affirmations.I had to go the bank today and there was a long line. I was about to become frustrated and feel sorry for myself. At times like this there is a moment of decision. You can chose not to feel angry or frustrated. Once this moment has passed you are under the control of your emotions and it is difficult to change negative emotions to positive ones. Anyway I started repeating one of my favorite affirmations and immediately I calmed down and the wait actually became fun. Soon instead of being impatient I was actually looking forward to the line lasting as long as was necessary....I was using this affirmation today:

"I thank God the giver for God The gift."When I use the above affirmation the whole world becomes beautiful and loving....

If you don't know what affirmations are, go to our series on affirmations.Use affirmations: Every day in every way, I'm getting better and betterUse affirmations continued: The Christ in me forgives the Christ in you.Use affirmations continued: The universe is abundant. Therefore I naturally feel abundant. All my needs are met.Use affirmations continued: I approve of myself.

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Use affirmations continued: Today I take full control of my life.Use affirmations continued: I expect the best from people and I receive the best from all peopleDay 98:

Boost your self-esteem by continuing on in spite of adversity.

I was going to write about this issue today. Recently a project I was involved in was delayed by no fault of mine. Moreover I was assigned most of the blame even though I was not even involved in the part of the project which was problematic. I had to calm myself (by use of affirmations and removing myself from the room for a couple minutes)and then I could chose to complete the project as best as possible. The issue was to forget about spreading blame but getting the job done.

The Chinese have a saying, "Whatever does not kill me, makes me stronger...."Another saying which relates is, "The hotter the water the stronger and better the tea...."Anyway I did not know whether to write this for today or another piece....

I arrived home and discovered that the hard disk of the computer I use to write is dead. I have some little hope I may be able to recover the data. We will see... My first reaction was to say, "Who cares. I gave it a good shot. I managed to get ninety odd days out and it was a wonderful experiment, but it's time to quit...."

To be honest with you I was already pretty dejected by the fact that very few people visit us - please please if you are reading this recommend us to your friends - and that's why I had chosen today's topic. Now with the computer down I had my perfect excuse....

Anyway the point is to feel bad, sad, and fed up if needs be....Accept these feelings and then continue.I am borrowing a friend's computer and for the next few days while I am setting my system up these pieces might end up being early or late. I'll do my best to write a few and put them up ahead of time if possible....

So bear with us.

We'll continue no matter how we feel and what happens.

http://www.lifefocuscenter.com/boostyourselfesteem98.htm

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Day 99:Boost your self-esteem by teaching whatever you need

to learn...The best way of learning something is to teach it. Since I started writing these series not only my self-esteem has gone up my life has become easier. My health has improved and I have managed to improve my life in many different ways. What I have discovered is that these methods do work if you work at them. They are easy, simple and mostly cost nothing or very little.

Anyway if there is anything you learn and you wish to learn really well, teach it to someone else. Another thing you can do is to volunteer to give a lecture at a club or organization about a subject you would like to know a lot. Once you commit yourself use the library, Internet, friends, mentors, and such to learn as much as possible about the subject. Now comes the time to organize your thought. I use 3"X5" index cards and put a keyword or phrase on each card signifying a major thought or idea. Then I spread the index cards and draw relationships between the different ideas until I can get the structure and the order of the lecture. No doubt you may develop your own method. The real point is to do it. To teach someone else. It may be a single person, a few or a whole group. Go ahead teach others in order to learn and boost your self-esteem.

Day 100:Boost your self-esteem by knowing when to cut your

losses Those of you who visit us frequently know that a couple of days ago the hard disk, on the computer which I use to write these pieces, crashed. I spent a few hours yesterday attempting to recover as much data as possible. The point came today that it was time to calculate how much more effort I could expend on this project of saving the data..... I don't know about you. The way I used to act is that I would become obsessed with the project and then I would forget about writing this piece. I would have a good excuse since I would be recovering the data and programs needed to write these articles. This is the equivalent of throwing good money after bad. I know in my time I have been conned many a time by people who get you involved just a tiny bit in something and then you become ashamed to admit to yourself that you had made a mistake so you continue getting in deeper and deeper. This gets you into a vicious cycle of lowering your self-esteem, which in turn makes you less capable of taking proactive actions and stopping the hemorrhage. The best way to stop this vicious cycle is to - STOP - PAUSE - take a deep breath and RECONSIDER. Once you can examine the situation from a different perspective, understanding that the past is unchangeable, you may change

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directions and move forward in a proactive way. This starts to boost your self-esteem and now you get into a positive cycle....

Day 101:Boost your self-esteem by understanding who is the

"boss"Paris, two a.m. I was drinking some vin rouge and talking to "monsieur le Patron*," the owner of the bistro. His establishment was thriving. So I asked him the typical American question. "When will you open your second restaurant." He looked at me dumb founded. I repeated my question, explaining that since he was doing so well he should open a second and grow and I was trying to explain the ins and outs of franchising when he stopped me."Monsieur, je suis le Patron. Qu'est qu'on dit.... Alors, as you would say, I am the boss. Over there is Yvonne, my daughter. She helps here in the evenings but she really wants to be a dancer. She takes ballet lessons. And my wife she cooks but she does pottery...." He motioned the wheel with his hands. His eyes brightened as he pointed to a handsome young man. "That is Jean, my son. He goes to university. Will be great physics professor. N'est pas?" "Mais, oui," I agreed. "D'accord.," he continued, "That one, Gaston, he works for me. I am le Patron, the boss. He does what I tell him. As if to prove a point he gestured to Gaston who refilled my glass. Now the government orders me to give Gaston five weeks a year holiday. But I am the boss. My family, we take six weeks. Rest have fun..... Now you say open second restaurant. Then I have to work more. My wife, no more pottery.... And, Yvonne, she no dance. Alors, Jean, not great physics professor. We work too much. And holidays.... Poof, three weeks... Less. But Gaston, he still gets five. The government says. He get five. So now he is le Patron and I work for him....." *I am dyslexic and my spelling is lacking in all languages I know. I'm writing things as I remember the pronunciation. Those of you who understand French please excuse any "Faux Pas."

Day 102Boost your self-esteem by thinking about the present

moment from the perspective of your last day on earth....

Continuing last night's article on getting your priorities right, when people are on their death bed, they never regret that they didn't spend an extra three hours at work. They don't think about that one less toy that they didn't buy. They don't care about their worldly possessions.

What they do care about is the precious moments they spent with their loved ones. They wish they had more of those moments.... They remember the smiles on a child's face.... As you live your day to day life, at times meditate from that perspective....

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Get your priorities right. Spend more time loving, and appreciating and telling loved ones how you love and appreciate them....

Ali, the prophet Mohammad's cousin and the greatest of Muslims said, "Live each day as though tomorrow would be your last day.... And plan each moment as though you would live forever...."

Thus to boost your self-esteem think about what is truly important and as the Chinese sages wrote, "Take the middle way...."

We received this email as a response to yesterday's piece:"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We have higher incomes, but lower morals; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality. These are the times of tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; Of fancier houses, but broken homes. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to forward this message and make a difference.... or just hit delete."

Added June 20, 2006: Here in America many imagine that he with most toys wins. Unfortunately many of these people imagine that they are spiritual. Don't get me wrong there is nothing intrinsically wrong with toys. It is the priorities of your life which are important. What will you regret not doing at the moment of your death? Think about it and then go for doing those things.

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Writing about toys reminds me of a Polynesian island where it is very important to keep up with the Jones's (like here, there and everywhere else humanity exists). However, and this is interesting about this culture, keeping up with the Jones's depends on how much you give to others. The more you give to others, the higher you are esteemed in this Island. So people are kind and giving....Where, numbers in a computer (your bank account -- net worth) is a symbol of your value in the society, greed becomes good. The interesting thing is that when a societies values are so distorted that we value a rich lawyer more than a poor teacher, the question to ask is not why are there so many lawyers but how come anyone becomes a teacher or librarian.

NamasteDay 103:

Boost your self-esteem by STOPPING, pausing and taking a deep breath when things go wrong....

So often when something goes wrong we panic (consciously or unconsciously) and take action before we think. At the moment while I am settling down to a new way of writing these pieces (the hard disk on the computer I used to use to write these crashed), I use whatever computer is available. The other night I saved a file under a wrong name and downloaded it to the site. I had now destroyed a previous day's entry. Without thinking I looked at the page in question and destroyed any chance of recovery until I got to the computer I am using just now. So the page ended up missing for the next thirty six hours. Once I did this I had to accept what was. I could drive more than 50 miles each way at midnight to get to this computer or accept the fact that the page would be missing for a while.... The real issue was to understand the lesson from this experience and share it with you. So the lesson is (specially when dealing with computers) when things go wrong, at first do absolutely nothing.... Just pause, take a deep breath (this relaxes you and bring extra oxygen to your brain so you can think better), and once you are calm wait a little longer and only then take action. Of course I am not talking about the type of emergency where you have to act without thinking. Last night we were going to a concert and the people in front stopped and I did not notice, so I had to jam my foot on the breaks. So under those circumstances do whatever is needed and then think about the learnings from the experience.

Day 104:Boost your self-esteem by expecting the best from

everyoneA new teacher started in a school and saw a list of her students with a number next to each student's name. She assumed the numbers were the students' IQs. The number showed that she had exceptionally gifted students. She treated the students the way very intelligent students need be treated. She was not surprised to discover

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that her students learned so easily and excelled academically. Thus at the end of the year her students had the highest achievement at the school. The headmistress congratulated her on her extraordinary teaching ability. She replied that given the quality of the students it was a breeze and she had done nothing special with the gifted students. The headmistress didn't understand since these were average students and had been failures in previous years. Eventually they discovered that the teacher had seen the students locker numbers and assumed high IQs instead.This principle is true in all cases. Expect the best from your coworkers and they'll do well. Have low expectation and that's what you get.In terms of self-esteem it is important to expect the very best about yourself. When you expect the best you'll achieve more which in turn will teach you to further expect the best and boost your self-esteem.

Day 105:Boost your self-esteem by appreciating your adult toys

from the perspective of a childWhen I was a child I so wanted to be able to drive a car. I would sit behind the wheel of my father's car and pretended that I was driving. I would go, "Vroom.... Vroooooom....." It gave me such a thrill. I would feel on top of the world. I imagined that if one day I would actually own my own car and I could learnto drive.... Oh wow.... It would be so totally out of this world exquisitely wonderful....So here I am sitting in one of the never ending Los Angeles freeways and it's all jammed.... And I'm getting more and more fed up and frustrated.....And then I remember that four year old boy....Wow.... Out of this world.... I am actually sitting behind the wheel of a car. It's mine. I love this car and I know how to drive....So here I am in the traffic jam and I would be losing my cool by now and I suddenly go, "Vroom.... Vroooooom....." Life's fantastic. Who cares about the traffic situation when you can go, "Vroom.... Vroooooom....."So do reexamine all you own and all you have achieved from the point of view of a four year old child and boost your self-esteem.Also in case you see this guy smiling and being totally delighted while going, "Vroom.... Vroooooom....." in the middle of a traffic jam, don't think he's crazy, cause chances are that's me.... Or better still....Let's hope, it's you....

Day 106:Boost your self-esteem by being thankful and

acknowledging people who help you....I just got a brand new car. For me it's beyond out of this world. Following yesterday's piece, I couldsit in it all day just going "Vroom.... Vroooooom....." and I wouldn't even have to start the engine. As you can tell I truly appreciate this car. I think it is important to thank people since so often we get bad service and either we remain quiet and lowe rour self-esteem or we become aggressive and ultimately

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get angry at ourselves (on some level) and again we lowerour self-esteem. But when we appreciate people and thank them we show the world that we live in a win-win universe and by boosting other's self-esteem we raise our own. Remember that any time we can appreciate someone or something the value of that person or things goes up.

Remember love is the one thing that increases by leaps and bounds the more you give it away....

Added June 20, 2006: It's nearly six years later and I still love that car. It still gives me a great pleasure. I appreciate it and so its value for me appreciates.

Day 107:Boost your self-esteem by appreciating things in the

same way as you appreciated them when they were new.So here I am spending all sitting in my brand new car going "Vroom.... Vrooom...." without even turning the engines on and it's thrilling (I am joking, had to work but I wish to make a point). When we buy a new object we are so proud. We enjoy and appreciate it. We treat the object as though it was a person or a living animal. We look after it. Then time passes as it must pass... What happens is that as an object gets old, we get used to it and no longer appreciate it. As I have mentioned a few times before when you appreciate someone or something the value increases. Also when you stop to appreciate the value decreases.In order to keep something as though you had just got it you must keep your attitude of gratitude towards having it. Thus I was always so happy with my old car. I felt so lucky to own it. I could just as easily go "Vroom.... Vrooom...." in the six year old car as with the new car. It's the internal attitude which matters. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder but this is not the external eye with iris, retina and optic nerves. The eye that truly sees, is the inner eye of imagination and visualization. Here it's up to you. You have internal rose colored glasses as well as any other color you'd like.... A few days ago I wrote about expectations and self fulfilling prophesies. The same is true about our attitude towards things and people. Our internal attitudes determine our external perceptions.... So see people and things "anew...." And people and things once more become like new....

Day 108:Boost your self-esteem by trusting the Spirit, God,

Nature.... As I was driving my brand new bright red sports car slower than most in fact the only person driving slower than me was this guy with a Porsche, I was thinking that

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if I had this car even five years ago by now I would have had six tickets and three accidents. I remembered this Mullah Nasrudin story: The Mullah was one day resting under a great walnut tree. Beside him was a watermelon shrub. His mind began to wonder and he asked, "Lord, how come this huge tree produces such small fruits and this tiny shrub grows such giant fruits?" Just then a walnut fell on the Mullah's head and his head ached and was badly bruised. He said, "Lord, I apologize, you always know exactly what's best." So boost your self-esteem by accepting what is and accepting a grand design to the universe that perhaps we do not understand. Have faith that ultimately all things are for the best.... Now I am not saying that you should not change situations which are not desirable. What I am saying is the past is unchangeable. Accept the past and ACT in the HERE and NOW to change the future.... This active acceptance of the past and proactive goal driven quest for the future will boost your self-esteem.Day 109:

Boost your self-esteem by living with your limitationsUnderstand that you are a human being and have limitations. We are each unique, wonderful beings with much inner magnificence. Problem is that often we demand that we become super human. We can push ourselves until we break. The best way is admit one's own shortcomings and then understand that we can always improve.Perfectionism, is the enemy of self-esteem. It gives us an excuse not to do a task since it must be done absolutely well, or else we might as well forget it. Thus it stops us from achieving our potential. This gets us into one of those negative vicious cycles where our lack of achievement lowers our self-esteem and at the same time we become more perfectionistic. And the negative cycle continues....However, if we stop, ponder the truth that it doesn't have to be 100% to count, we become free to act and move on. As we achieve things taking baby steps in the beginning, our self-esteem increases. Now we are in the positive cycle where our increasing self-esteem allows us to achieve more and thus our self-esteem increases.As a final reason to fight perfectionism consider a research study which compared a group of perfectionistic salespeople with other sales people from the same company. The perfectionistic group spent thirty percent more time than the others preparing everything meticulously, getting ready for their clients and in general doing everything just right and perfect.... So what type of results do you think they got with their extra effort?They earned twenty percent less than the other salespersons....

Oh well....

Day 110:Boost your self-esteem by taking it easy on yourself.This continues yesterday's piece. Often we are our own harshest critics. According to Freudian theories this is caused by one's superego which is the internalized parent figures. In fact in Transactional Analysis this aspect of the personality is renamed the "Parent."

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Do you ever criticize yourself or others using the words, tonality, gestures of your parents? Many people suddenly are shocked to find themselves treating their own children exactly the way they had been treated as children. This is shocking since when the original event had happened to them as children, they had promised themselves that they would never treat their children in that way....

This type of self-criticism is a total self-esteem destroyer. When you hear your own negative self-talk, say to yourself, "Cancel.... Cancel...."

So be kind to yourself, and take it easy on yourself....And boost your self-esteem.Day 111:

Boost your self-esteem by deflecting inner critics I: Challenge generalizations….

Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right!" The question becomes how can we change our inner "you can’ts" to "you cans?" Various methods exist to challenge our negative self-talk. Yesterday we discussed a direct method of noticing the negative self-talk and saying "Cancel.... Cancel...."Today we learn to challenge generalizations by becoming more specific thus:If you say to yourself, "I can never do anything right," ask yourself if you have ever done anything right or just ask, "Never, ever, ever?" All you have to do is to find a single counter example to all inclusive generalizations to show the inner-critic that it’s wrong.Note that this method works just as well with outer critics. Thus if someone says, "You’re always so stupid," ask, "Have you ever noticed a time when I was not stupid?"So boost your self-esteem by challenging your inner and outer critics’ generalizations….

Day 112:Boost your self-esteem by deflecting inner critics II: Use

an NLP deflection technique....Next time you have a negative self-talk and criticize yourself do use this technique:Close your eyes and take a deep breath so you can relax. Now change the position of the inner-critic’s voice. Move it so it comes from your big toe or thumb. Again change the position and notice when the inner-critic becomes less powerful.Next concentrate on the tonality of the inner-critic’s voice. The chances are that the voice reminds you of the voice of one or both of your parents. Repeat the message but change the tonality. Make it sound as though said by Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck. Make the voice sound more and more ridiculous. My bet is that as you do this, the negative self-talk becomes less stinging.

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The above technique is very powerful and can be used also with positive messages (affirmations) to make them better and more powerful:Think of an affirmation; (say -- "I approve of myself.")Close your eyes and take a deep breath so you can relax. Now repeat the affirmation however you naturally would. Notice how powerful the effect of the affirmation is. Now move the position of the inner voice saying the affirmation. Notice the power of affirmation changes as you move the voice around. You will find that there is a certain position which makes the voice most powerful. Keep the voice in this position.Next work on the tonality of the voice. Say the affirmation using different voice tonalities. You’ll discover that the strength of your belief in the affirmation changes. Select the position which maximizes this strength.So use this powerful technique and deflect your inner-critic while strengthening the power of your positive self-talk and affirmations and boost your self-esteem.

Day 113:Boost your self-esteem by not being too clever for your

own good....I have just spent two and a half hours adding more RAM and hard disk to my computer. This is still part of my recovery from the disk crash a couple of weeks ago. The last hour was spent hearing these weird beep sounds from my computer even though as far as I was concerned all the hardware was connected correctly and the jumper settings were exactly as defined in the manual. I did not mind the beep sounds except that the computer would not boot. So I changed the jumper setting (making it wrong) and things went from bad to worse. Anyway not to bore you eventually after a whole hour of a wild goose chase I returned the jumper settings back to the original and I hit F3 or Escape (I really cannot remember) and went accidentally (I must have known unconsciously what I was doing since I did hit the right button) to the next screen. The BIOS was complaining that I had a virus on the boot block and warned me of unknown dire outcomes if I continued. Knowing that this was not a virus but result of all the new hardware I had installed I took a deep breath, crossed my fingers and asked the computer to continue. So here I am -- the mad machine is working again and I got to think about the lesson in all of this. Yes, the computer was right that the symptoms were there. Under other circumstances these symptoms might have signified the presence of a virus. But in the current situation they were a natural outcome of the installation of the new hardware.... It's like taking the temperature of a runner at the end of a mile run and saying that she must have the flue just because she has an elevated temperature. The question I'd like to ask you as well as myself is, "How often do we misread the symptoms and jump to false conclusions?" Earlier we discussed the fact that you are not the target.

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Tonight I would like to suggest that you don't make others the target either. Expect the best out of people, trust them and yet remain vigilant and boost your self-esteem by looking for alternative explanations of the apparent facts.

Day 114:Boost your self-esteem by going toward a precise goal

but being flexibleYesterday, I had a goal of installing my new hardware and then installing and running my first CGI script on another of the websites we run. It really does not matter what CGI scripts are. The point is that I was going to do something I have never done before. The first part of my plan took longer than expected. At first I wanted to continue. However, soon I realized that the choice was between going ahead and doing what I and planned and most probably not quite getting it done but also ending up not writing the piece for this and the relationship series. So I was flexible to change the goals for last night and deferred the other business for tonight. Thus by being flexible I could succeed, even though I changed my original plan. This reminds me of a different time that I changed my plan. I used to belong to a an athletic club which each year had a rather grueling competition. One had six weeks in order to do a lot of different exercises such as walk/run 30 mile, 375 miles on the stationary bike, 15 miles on the stair master, 15000 meters on the rowing machine and more. When I heard about this competition I decided to do it just for fun. I set a goal for myself of finishing. It seemed so difficult for me. By the second day I noticed I was doing quite well relative to the others. I changed my goal to ending in the top 10. Three days later I was in the top ten and I changed my goal to being in the top five. Later I decided to go for ending in the top three position and I did in fact come second. Next year they changed the rules since the person who had come in first was a retired person who would just go to the gym all day and they said we could not count more than one and a half hours each day. I was ready and prepared this year and my goal was to finish first which I did and repeated the next year too. I left that club knowing that I could have won the next few competition too since my job changed and the gym was no longer convenient. So flexibility works both ways. Change your goals if they are either too difficult or too easy. Err on the side of having goal which you will not always achieve and you will n\be challenged and your self-esteem will rise. In the long run by having precise goals and being flexible you'll achieve much and be very successful.

Day 115:Boost your self-esteem by understanding that there is no

such thing as failure - only results....In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) we believe that there are only results or

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feedback. The way to success is to have a precise goal. Take action. Did the action take you nearer to the goal? If yes, then refine and repeat the action. If not then change your approach and take a different action. If you do the above and persist, success is guaranteed to you.Napoleon Hill the author of arguably the best motivational book ("Think and grow rich") tells the story of talking to Thomas Edison about the invention of the light bulb. Hill asked the great inventor, "Mr. Edison weren't you discouraged when you had tried 10,000 different ways of producing the incandescent light and you had failed...." Edison interrupted him and said, "On the contrary, Mr. Hill, I had not failed. I had succeeded in discovering 10,000 ways of not producing the light bulb and I knew that if I continued I would soon run out of all the different ways of not producing a light bulb and that's exactly what happened." So remember that there is no such thing as failure, only results and persist. You will succeed. You will boost your self-esteem.

Day 116:Boost your self-esteem by understanding that if you

persevere, you will succeed.Thomas Edison once said that genius is one percent inspiration and ninety nine percent perspiration. Edison should have known that, since, in spite of having had very little formal schooling he had more patents to his name than anyone else. As I wrote last night Edison understood that there is no such thing as failure, but there are only results. So long as we learn from our results and we do keep our goal in mind and continue to be flexible, all we have to do is to persist and we will achieve our wildest dreams.One problem with the modern world is that we want everything "fast." Fast food, fast relationships, people with cell phones talking and driving.... The food tastes awful and we are brain washed to enjoy it and talk about nutritional value - somewhere on the wrong side of less than nothing (heart attack moment).... What relationships, we have so called relationship experts on top of the best seller's list while going through their fourth divorce. And those folks driving and talking on the phone - what driving.... what conversation?

Day 117:Boost your self-esteem by reviewing your goals

The last few days we have written about the importance of having precise goals, taking action, noticing if the action takes you nearer to your goals and being flexible to change your action when they are not taking you closer to your goal and persisting. The above methods will produce success.One of the ways of being flexible is to review your goals every now and again. We have already done a series on goal setting. When reviewing your goals you go

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through the same set of actions as you did when you wrote your goals (if you have not done so yet go there and do the original goal setting exercises):Rule one of well written goals: Goals must be written in the positive (or write it the way you want it).Rule two of well written goals: Write your goals down in the present tense.Rule three of well written goals: Keep it simple.Rule four of well written goals: Have your goals for yourself.Rule five of well written goals: Keep your goal realistic while you dream your wildest dream.Rule six of well written goals: Your goals need have an achievement time.Rule seven of well written goals: Make your goals specific.Rule eight of well written goals: Think of all consequences of your goal from an ecological point of view.Rule nine of well written goals: Have a way of measuring the achievement of your goals When you review your goals see which goals you might wish to alter (the outcome or the timing). Some goals you may wish to drop since the situation has changed and you may wish to add new goals. Also just periodically reviewing your goals will remind you where you have been where you are now and where you are going. This will boost your self-esteem and help achieve your goals.

Day 118:Boost your self-esteem by writing your top goals first

thing in the morningBy now hopefully you have some well formed goals and you review your goals periodically. I suggest you review your top five goals once every month and all of your goal each quarter.There is something nearly magical about writing your goals down on a piece of paper that moves us rapidly toward these goals. When we write the goals we are using our visual (we see what we write), auditory (we say to ourselves the words we write) and kinesthetic (we use our sense of touch and feelings to move our hands and write) senses. This reminds your unconscious mind of your goals and brings your successes and achievements to you faster.Today's exercise is about choosing your top five goals as affirmations (short succinct sentences) and writing them on a piece of paper first thing in the morning and last thing at night. It would help even more if you could write these goals at lunch time too. If this end up being too much write your goals at least once a day for thirty days (if you miss a day start your thirty days again or add two days for the missed day). When you this for thirty days you will see such results that you will continue writing your goals each day.

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Day 119:Boost your self-esteem by sending love to friends and

foes alikeWhen you send out love, it is amplified and returns to you, surrounding you with a shield of love and protection. This love, furthermore, reduces any negative feelings that others may have toward you and boosts your self-esteem.Today is memorial day where we traditionally remember our war veterans. That is very admirable but there is something more we can do today. Let us remember and pay our respect to the veterans from all nations, friends and foes alike. All soldiers have mothers, fathers, loved ones. Most soldiers had no choice on which war to fight. Finally all sides of any war imagine that God is on their side.So please take a few moments today in silent meditation. Pink is the color which symbolizes unconditional love. Imagine the whole world covered with a glowing pink light and pray for world peace, since that is the best way of protecting the lives of our future veterans.

Day 120:Boost your self-esteem by being kind to animals

Many so called "primitive societies" have a much better attitude toward the relationship of humans and our "brothers" the animals. We tend to believe that the animals are our chattel to be used and abused as we feel fit.Many years ago I was a brain scientist. I performed research on the biochemistry of the rat brain. I tried to be as compassionate as possible to the animals but how compassionate can you really be when you are killing the animal. In science we have a wonderful word for it. "Six male litter mates were sacrificed." Note that we use the passive voice to make it all objective. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying that no animal research is needed or is valid. I just think we could understand the sacredness of life and if we have to use an animal for research or food we should thank its spirit for the gift it gives to its brother the humans.Anyway I saw something so horrific, so obscene that I had to give up neurochemistry. I am not going to mention what the abject cruelty was. All I can say that it was extremely illegal and today if I saw such immorality I would immediately report it to the appropriate authorities and close the lab down. At the time I was too young and I took my shame and nausea out on myself.Many years went by and I changed becoming more mellow and compassionate. By now I try to minimize cruelty to all life forms but I don't over do it. When I see a spider I do my best to catch it and throw it out of the house alive and undamaged. Same with flies. I open the window and attempt to persuade the fly to leave. However, if I cannot persuade the fly or the spider to leave then I have no great compunction to kill the insect. A recent group of research studies showing that slugs, snails and cockroaches suffer pain have justified my attitude toward insects but I still need to learn to be kinder to insects. Again the important thing as far as I am concerned is to respect other life forms and understand that they are all God's creatures and part of God's plans.

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In Islam (my religion) we are supposed to revere our relationship with animals. In the Koran it is written, "There is no beast on Earth, nor bird which flies with its wings, but the same is a people like unto you (mankind) - and to the Lord shall they return." The prophet Mohammed (peace be on him) told this story: "An adulteress passed by a dog at a well, and the dog was holding his tongue from thirst, which was killing him, and the woman drew off her boot, and tied it to the end of her garment, and drew water for the dog, and gave him to drink and she was forgiven for that act."Now to put the above story in the correct context it is important to understand that adultery is considered as a most heinous sin in Islam and dogs are considered as unclean. When someone touches a dog she has to go through ablution (ritual cleansing) before saying her prayers. Thus we can understand how important being kind to animals is.So increase your humanity by being more humane to animals and boost your self esteem.

Day 121:Boost your self-esteem by reviewing the first ten days of

this seriesDay 1: Boost your self-esteem by making a list of your successes: This is one of the most important things you can do to boost your self-esteem. If you have not done this please do it. If you have please refine it and also have the list near you and read it every day. As you have new successes and victories add to your list. Whenever you need to take a risk or challenge your self examine the list carefully and get a self-esteem boost. I read my list just before successfully negotiating a raise. Remember "a life worth living is worth recording." So make sure you have a success journal. Day 2: Boost your self esteem by going for a walk in nature.Day 3: Boost your self-esteem by soaking yourself in a wonderful hot bath.

Day 4: Boost your self-esteem by thinking on these words: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." There are more on the page.Day 5: Boost your self-esteem by watching cartoons on Saturday morningDay 6: Boost your self-esteem by being a positive paranoiac: We get what we expect -- so expect the bestDay 7: Boost your self-esteem by remembering when you are confused you are learning something new:Day 8: Challenge yourself enough but not too much: Winners make sure they are challenged but not so much that they are overwhelmedDay 9: Turn the TV off for a night:Day 10: Send yourself a Valentine card: use an appropriately seasonal card.

Change a habit for a weekThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 3, 2009 Posted Under: will power This is a method of improving your self control and will power. Both of these (self

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control and will power) are like muscles and the more you practice, the stronger they will become.Choose any small habit such as which side of the bed you get out of or which shoe you put on first or how you shave (you get the idea) and do the opposite for one week. This will be difficult at first and you may well keep forgetting to change your habitual way of doing the behavior. When you notice that just remind yourself and act in the new way.The benefits of this simple exercise are manifold:

You will increase your will power. By changing a few small habit and strengthening this capacity you can next tackle major changes in your behavior.

You will lay new neural net patterns which will restore your youth and mental vigor.By exercising your brain you can actually raise your intelligence.You can have some fun doing the exercise.You notice how many things you do automatically without thinking.

Therefore do change a habit for a week and increase your will power, self control and boost your self-esteem. One great way of doing this exercise is by doing it for a contiguous week for any habit.Thus suppose you always put your left shoe on first and you decide to change this habit. So on the first, second and third day you are successful and on the forth day you inadvetantly go back to your old habit, start back on day zero until you reach seven full days of doing the new habit without going back to the old.This post was originally part of the main Life Focus Center website as part of our 365 ways to boost your self esteem. I’m slowly moving them over to the blog and changing them a little.

Celebrate each victory no matter how smallThis post was written by DoctorJay on August 3, 2009 Posted Under: Success, self esteem When you celebrate an event it is more likely that the event will be repeated. Thus when you celebrate your victories you’ll boost your self-esteem and will have even more victories. One of the best ways of celebrating each success and achievement is to first add it to your list of successes. Then you can give yourself a small or huge treat depending on the size of the victory. Thus you can have a small healthy snack when you complete a small task. When you achieve a major victory at work you might buy yourself that dress you have been eying for such a long time.I’m not suggesting that you become extravagant and overspend. What I do suggest is that you save your money and time your spending to coincide with your successes. I had been wanting (and needing) a new car for quite a long time. I had already chosen the model of car I wanted to get but I waited and waited until I negotiated a raise. The victory was not the amount of the raise but the way I negotiated. I believe that we should appreciate the journey and let the results happen however they will. So immediately after I negotiated my raise, I started looking for the car of my dreams

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even though I had been wanting for it for a long time and I could have afforded to buy it earlier and I could have waited even longer and it would not have been the end of the world. But what I did was to associate doing something good with a major celebration.Timing your purchases to victories (major to major – minor to minor) associates successes with rewards and makes new achievements more likely. Rewarding yourself for a job well done boosts your self-esteem.

Day 124:Boost your self-esteem by balancing your life

Many ancient cultures and wisdom traditions recommend the middle path or a balanced life. There is a Zen story that a master is teaching a novice and they are walking on the beach. The master bends down and fills his hand with sand so it's overflowing. He says, "Too much.." Next her empties his hand totally and says, "Too little." Finally he grabs a comfortable amount of sand and says, "Just enough."That's how we should be with all our life in all its aspects. Thus we need to work and play, look after ourselves and look after others, eat healthy foods and every now and then feast on what we really enjoy, at times fast and at others be even gluttonous, exercise our body, mind, soul and spirit but not too much so that we hurt ourselves rather than becoming more healthy. So choose the middle way and balance your life by spending time on your career, community, education, family, financial, health, relationships, and spirituality. Have fun and enjoy the journey not caring about the results and you will boost your self-esteem and the results will come of their own accord.Finally when balancing your life think on the words of Aristotle when he said, "Moderation in all including moderation.."

Day 125:Boost your self-esteem by being kind and compassionate

to othersThere is a paradox about life that you cannot look after others or love others fully until you love yourself and look after yourself. At the same time you cannot truly love yourself or look after yourself until you look after others and love others. The two are in reality the two sides of the same coin:

LOVELove, appreciation, compassion, empathy for self and others are ultimately the most important aspects of our lives. As I have written before no one has been known to cry on his deathbed, "I wish I had spent more time at the office. " Or, "I regret not having accumulated more possessions." What they do regret is not having spent enough quality time with loved ones. They regret missed opportunities for being kind and compassionate. So boost your self-esteem by being kind and compassionate to all including yourself. Back

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Home

Day 126:Boost your self-esteem by eating good foods

Scientists have calculated that the human body may be worth millions of dollars. Since this is the only body we have in fact it is worth more than anything else on earth to you and your loved ones. The question I have is that if you owned a multimillion dollar classic car (say 1954 Mercedes Gull-wing) would you put sludge in it instead of oil? Would you mix diesel and dirty gasoline and use that as fuel? Or would you use the best oil in town with the best gas?And yet many people insist on feeding themselves with the equivalent of sludge and much worse. When you knowingly eat junk food you show yourself that you do not care for yourself. You are telling yourself that you do not respect yourself and you do not deserve to be respected. Remember you are what you eat.

JUNK FOOD..You Are What You Eat..Good Healthy Food..You Are What You Eat..When you eat foods that are good for you, you respect yourself and treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated and you boost your self-esteem.

Day 127:Boost your self-esteem by doing most important things

firstRecently a friend was given his notice. He spent the weekend cleaning the apartment and moving his computer around instead of first rewriting his resume and sending it out and then doing everything else. I know that I often do the same. The eighty twenty rule applies to the things we do and twenty percent of our actions produce eighty percent of the results. When we concentrate on the twenty percent important actions we achieve much more and we boost our self-esteem.However it is very easy to concentrate on the easy tasks. This reminds me of the Mullah and the key. I also note that it is much easier to give advice than to actually take the advice that one gives. Thus even as I write this I am doing other things which are easier to do but will have less productivity in the long run.The key:

The Mullah Nasrudin was searching the ground under a street lamp. A friend gets there and asks him what he is doing. The Mullah replies, "I'm looking for my key." The friend helps him search every where. They search here and there to no avail. Half an hour later they still have not found the key. The friend asks, "Are you sure

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you lost it here?" "No," replies the Mullah, "I lost it inside my house." "Then why are you looking here?" The Mullah replies, "Because the light is here."

Day 128:Boost your self-esteem: Stop putting yourself down

So often we have negative self talk. We do something slightly wrong and we call ourselves "dumb." We drop something and we accuse ourselves of being "clumsy." We have already discussed the issue of negative self talk. Research has shown that when talking to their children, parents say more than ten "nos" for every time they say a "yes." Thus we learn to call ourselves the names that we heard as a child and incorporate negative self talk at a rate of much more than ten to one relative to positive self talk.However, we can change that. When you catch yourself calling yourself by a negative name immediately say "Cancel, cancel." Next say something positive to yourself. Affirm that you are not your actions and give yourself a positive suggestion such as "I can do better next time."So forgive your mistakes and boost your self-esteem. Give yourself positive suggestions and increase your self-esteem even more. Always answer the question, "How are you doing?" with a positive statement such as, "Excellent!" or "Great!" better still, "Couldn't be better." My favorite thing is, "If life was much better it might be illegal." I don't verbalize that often since I don't want to turn others off, but I do think it at times and this helps me have high self-esteem and achieve more..

Day 129:Boost your self-esteem by watching the sunset with a

friendTomorrow is the last day at work for one of my colleagues. I took him out for a dinner. We went to the beach after work and ate at a restaurant on the pier. We talked about the last six months we had spent at this job and we talked about all sorts of different things including spirituality. While we were talking the sun set and darkness set in over the ocean.There is something exceedingly powerful about watching the sunset but when you do it with a friend there is a sense of camaraderie which truly boosts both people's self-esteem. This watching of sunset with a friend (not a lover) has a different spiritual quality since there is no demands on each other. There is a communing with each other and nature.The other lesson of tonight was the point that I have mentioned many times before and that is putting first things first. I knew I had to write this article and work on the web. I was tired. I had a bad day at work. There were many excuses. However, I resisted all that. I was there for my friend and we had a great time. And now I feel good about myself. I feel satisfied and I had great time.So spend some quality time with a friend and boost your self-esteem.

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Day 130:Boost your self-esteem by watching the sunset aloneAs the philosopher said there is a time and place for everything and to everything there is a season. Being with friends is wonderful and has its own rewards. Being alone, solitude, so long as it is not forced but is voluntary is a world of its own. As it happened I went to Dana Point harbor tonight to watch the sunset. At this time of the year the sun sets toward Catalina Island and is altogether a most beautiful sight. The hills are on one side with the last rays of sunlight reflected on the windows of the mansions overlooking the ocean, and on the other side are the waves.My parent are both dead. They passed away more than ten years ago. When they were alive they loved the seaside. My father who had been a surgeon had retired and now those hands which used to save peoples lives were employed in gardening. He grew the most beautiful roses I have ever seen.Both my parents loved beauty and would have really enjoyed this evening's sunset. Whenever I appreciate beautiful sights and I am alone I remember my parents and send this appreciation of earthly beauty to them. I don't know if there is life after death, no one can know in a scientific way, but if my parents exist on some level, I know that when I appreciate this world in their name (I meditate by concentrating on the wonders of nature around me while asking God to bless my parents) they are there with me and appreciating the beauty through my eyes.As I continue my walking meditation I have an attitude of gratitude and love toward all beings. I continue walking and by the time I end my walk I feel on top of the world. So practice walking meditation and boost your self-esteem.

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Walking Meditation:You can do this by walking alone and letting your mind wonder where ever it goes. Use affirmations while walking and appreciate the world around you while sending blessings to who ever you want to. As you walk you might consciously pay attention to your thoughts allowing inspiration and intuition to guide you. Take deep breaths and remain centered. It may help to imagine roots which go deep into the earth and branches toward the sky. Allow energy to pass between heaven and earth by going through you.

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Day 131:Boost your self-esteem by countering negative

experiences using NLPRecently a client, let's call him Joe (name changed - story retold with permission) came to me extremely angered at the situation at work. He had been putting in more hours than most and was doing a very critical job for the company. He was singled out over a misunderstanding and was told off. Now I don't know what actually went on at his work. What was important is that Joe felt slighted and hurt.We first did a short hypnosis session called the safe space meditation. In this guided meditation, I induced a trance state and then took Joe his safe space which is a wondrous paradise of a garden in the mind's eye. There are various areas within your safe space. Some of these are: self-esteem area; healing area; library; memory hall. In Joe's case we concentrated on the self-esteem area. Under trance I reminded Joe about all the different successes he has had at work and at other areas of his life.After giving Joe the needed ego strength and boosting his self-esteem by reminding him of his previous achievements we started the NLP intervention. In Joe's case we went through the negative incident which was still bothering him. The first time he remembered the event exactly the way it was as vividly as possible. He remembered the event through his own eyes seeing what he saw, hearing what he heard and feeling what he had felt. Then we ran though the memory in reverse adding a little circus music in the background. Now we ran the memory in the forward direction making the participants a little ridiculous like adding Mickey Mouse ears to the boss who was telling Joe off. We kept running the memory back and forth making it more ridiculous each time until the memory no longer had any negative effect.This method can be used with any negative memory including minor phobias. The method consists of remembering the event as well as you can and then running the memory backward and forward in time each time adding a visual or auditory element making the negative participants of the event more laughable until the negative feelings are gone. Next you check the memory by trying to remember it through your own eyes seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard. When you have done this exercise enough you cannot help but remember the event in the new laughable way and the negative emotions will have disappeared.Please try this method of negating negative memories out with something small which is still bothering you. As you develop expertise in using this method you can use it to negate stronger negative memories.

Day 132:Boost your self-esteem by countering negative

experiences using NLP -- Part IIYesterday we mentioned one type of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) intervention for countering negative experiences. Another method uses what are called submodalities in NLP parlance. Submodalities are the way we use our senses in remembering and imagining images and visualizations. Thus think of a small

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recent negative incident. Remember the event as well as you can. Imagine you were exactly back in the event, seeing it through your own eyes, hearing what you heard. Get in touch with the negative feelings associated with the event. Next move the image further away from you (distance is one of the submodalities of the visual sensory system). Notice that the negative feelings diminish (this is true of most people but check the distance for yourself -- move the image back and forth until the negative feelings are at the minimum). Next do the same with the visual submodality of position. Move the image of the event up and down, and side to side until again you get the minimum negative feelings. Now change the brightness (typically dimming the brightness will decrease the feelings). Other visual submodalities are: whether the image is color or black and white? Are you in the picture or do you see the image through your own eyes.Next change the sounds associated with the event. Change the location of the sounds, tempo, pitch, tonality of the sounds until the negative feelings diminish. Now use your imagination to lock in the visual and auditory submodalities to give the minimum negative feelings.Please try this method of negating negative memories out with something small which is still bothering you. As you develop expertise in using this method you can use it to negate stronger negative memories. Also the method may be used to increase positive memories and to improve your motivation. In this case you change the submodalities until you maximize the positive feelings associated with a memory or a visualized goal event.

Day 133:Boost your self-esteem by being thankful when someone

helps youSo often someone does something good for us and we forget to thank them enough, or we take people for granted. For example, this is specially true of food servers. Many people have spent some time working in a restaurant and are good at thanking the waiters and waitresses and leaving tips, but for people who have not served tables please understand it's a difficult task having to serve people day in day out and to smile no matter how you feel.All wisdom traditions and mystical systems agree that on some level all humans are united in a single spirit. When we do not appreciate others we are in fact being untrue to our inner selves and we lower our own self-esteem. However, when we show appreciation and thank others we are sharing ourselves and paradoxically when we share ourselves we increase our self-esteem.So go out of your way to discover people doing their job well and show your appreciation. The best parents, teachers and managers know that it is best to praise as much as possible and criticize as little as possible. Remember that if you must criticize use the sandwich method of criticism.Finally being thankful is a spiritual need and we need thank the ultimate Creator for all gifts we have in our lives. Too often those who believe in some kind of deity

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forget about the Creator until things go wrong and we become like the person who claimed there are no atheists in the trenches. When things go wrong we pray and pray and pray. Be thankful all the time no matter what and you'll have even more things for which to be thankful.

Day 134:Boost your self-esteem by doing your best and never

expecting thanksYesterday I suggested that you always thank others. However the majority of people don't do that. If you expect other people's thanks you are bound to be disappointed and have you self-esteem at the mercy of other's courtesy. When people do not thank you for something you have done for them you would become disappointed and perhaps you will end up no longer doing the good actions, or worse still you go out of your way and do a wonderful job but because you frown when you are not thanked the recipients of your kindness will feel even more justified over not thanking such a grouch.On the other hand, if you take good actions and are kind and generous to others with absolutely no expectation of being thanked you will be so happy on those occasions when someone thanks you. You will however be happy anyway because you are being kind and generous and that is its own reward before you start.

What I have suggested above need not be easy at first and I know I find it rather difficult. However, it is an ideal that we may strive toward. This is like any other habit something that we can work at and practice and with practice it becomes easier. I am very courteous on the road and give way very easily and stop to let cars in. When someone lets me in or a slower moves out of my way I always thank them. I find it difficult when I am kind to others on the freeway and they do not acknowledge or thank my kindness. I decided to use this experience as a practice for toady's exorcise. At first it was quite difficult to not expect any thanks. I still would give way to others but I would be disappointed. I worked and worked at it. I still have a long way to go, but now I am in a place where I do not mind (a lot) not being thanked but when someone waves a thank you to me I am really happy.Therefor do the right thing and expect no thanks. Your self-esteem will go up and every now and then someone will thank you anyway and that will truly be thanks.

Day 135:Boost your self-esteem by using affirmations when

things appear to go wrongLife has always its ups and downs. It is best that we accept life as it is and then strive to change it for the better. One of the ways to change our life for the better is to use affirmations. As we learned earlier affirmations are short sentences in the present tense like: "I now have a wonderful well paying job." You keep repeating the affirmation no matter what. It is best to keep a note book by the bed and to write your affirmation a few times the last thing before going to sleep and the first

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thing upon waking up.Some people suggest that it is best to write your affirmations with your non-writing hand. Thus if you are right handed write with your left hand and vice versa. This will impress your affirmations on your non-dominant brain hemisphere and affects your future more. It is important to continue writing/saying your affirmations no matter what. This even more true when things are going wrong and you are having problems.At these times having a thankful attitude toward all the gifts you have is of great help. Thus if you have a job but it is not your ideal job keep affirming that you have a wonderful job and at the same time be thankful for your current job. When you both of these things simultaneously two things happen:

The difference between the reality and what you are affirming produces a tension in your brain and in the world which will be released by you finding that wonderful job.

Because you are thankful the universe gives you more (a better job). Think about it if you have some people for dinner and the soup is cold but there is wonderful food to be served, who do you feed the best of the entrée? The grumpy person who keeps complaining or the happy person who thanks you profusely for the soup even though it is cold?

If you don't know what affirmations are, go to our series on affirmations.Use affirmations: Every day in every way, I'm getting better and betterUse affirmations continued: The Christ in me forgives the Christ in you.Use affirmations continued: The universe is abundant. Therefore I naturally feel abundant. All my needs are met.Use affirmations continued: I approve of myself.Use affirmations continued: Today I take full control of my life.Use affirmations continued: I expect the best from people and I receive the best from all people. Back

Day 136:Boost your self-esteem by trusting fate when things

appear to go wrongAlbert Einstein once said, "The most important question is whether the universe is a friendly place." Einstein answered his own question in the affirmative. I don't know your belief system but so long as you do believe that the universe is a friendly place then be assured that bad events are evanescent and as we wrote yesterday this too shall pass. Today we want to go one step further to faith in God, Nature, The Spirit

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or whtever else you call it that great wondrous unknown, the X factor that keeps the universe a friendly place.If you believe in a Deity you can repeat this affirmation when things appear bad: "God is always a good God." As Saint paul said, "If God be with me, who can be against me?" If you do not believe in any Deity you can affirm: "There only one universe and it is good." Or perhaps the Hindu mantram, "Tat Tvam Asi" ("It is so" or "Thus it is") makes more sense to you.In Islam we say: "La Ilaha' El'Alah." Which means there is no God but God. In some Sufi (Islamic mystics) circles they believe that the true meaning of this statement is that there is nothing but God. If all is God then all must be good. Many other mystical systems have this pantheism and unity of the whole universe in common.According to some interpretations of quantum mechanics too the whole universe is interconnected in single entangled quantum unity or holon. Thus anything less than the whole universe is on some level illusary.I am in no way implying that hurts and evil do not exist and that we should not fight and resist them. However, understanding that on some level we are all one, that the hurter and the hurt are one, allows us to accept whatever is and then fight injustices and wrongs better. It allows us to be a positive paranoiac and achieve more and boost our self-esteem.

Day 137:Boost your self-esteem by writing a wish list

"Ask and it shall be given." Maybe the above statement is true and perhaps it is not always true. However, what I do know is that the reverse is always true: "If you don't ask you'll rarely if ever get."Today's exercise is another part of goal setting but here we go totally wild. Go ahead and just ask. Imagine that whatever you ask for you'll definitely get and start writing as fast as you can. Write and write and write and when you are tired write some more. Pretend that your heavenly father (or some earthly benefactor if you do not believe) is going to give you whatever you desire so long as you write down. For today's exercise do not think about if what you are asking for is possible or not. If you are four foot two and desire to be an NBA MVP go for it write it down. Maybe it won't happen in this life time but perhaps we do reincarnate so you never know. Perhaps even your most ridiculous desire will some day some how in some way come out to be true.The faster and the longer you can continue to write the better off you are. After you have finished writing, relax for five minutes or so thinking about a few of the things that you once wanted and eventually you got. Now write some more. Do this a few times and then put the wish list away somewhere safe and don't look at it for a year or so. Then you might find you list again and read it noticing the number of wishes that came true. This will demonstrate all your successes and achievements and will boost your self-esteem.

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Day 138:Boost your self-esteem by following your bliss

"Follow your bliss," said Joseph Campbell, a great mythologist, who noted the commonality ideas and themes in myths and stories of all cultures. Others have said, "Do what you love and the money will follow."Today's topic comes from the fact that I had a conversation with a friend. We were talking about this and that and then he asked about a certain field his nephew was interested in and asked, "Is it good?" I replied, "Good in what way?" He explained that he meant in terms of remuneration. I said that it all depended on what his nephew liked to do.We continued talking about this and that and then my friend asked about vitamins. He wanted to know if it was good. Again by this he meant could he make money. I knew that my friend is not a vitamin type of a person.One of the things I mentioned was that you can make a huge amount of money doing anything, and you could lose a huge amount doing anything. It is not what you do which matters, but how do it. It is your enthusiasm which matters. It is your attitude toward your work which matters.I reminded my friend of a famous research study. In this 1953 study, they asked the graduating class of Harvard, why they chose the jobs they had chosen. Ninty-seven percent replied that they had selected their jobs based on the fact that they would make lots of money. The other three percent chose their careers out of love for their field. Twenty years later they did a follow-up study on the same students and discovered that the three percent who went for love were worth more than the other 97% who went for riches.So follow your bliss and boost your self-esteem.

Day 139:Boost your self-esteem by through positive touch

I was going to write the above as boost your self-esteem by touching yourself and I thought it might be misunderstood. The truth is that our skin is our largest organ and we have a deep need to touch and be touched.During the last century a German King wanted to know what is the natural language of human beings. He brought orphans from numerous different nations to a special orphanage. Here all the babies were fed the best food and given all medical comfort but the nurses had to minimize contact with them so as not to inadvertently pass on their language to their charge. The experiment had to be stopped in a few months as one by one the babies died owing to lack of human love and touch.Similar results were obtained in various European nations in this century when touching the babies were frowned upon. Children who were deprived of touch did not thrive as well as those with more touch and stroking.It is thought that in fact the skin which is full of nerves is an endocrine organ as well as having numerous other functions. Being touched improves the immune system and increases the level of endorphins (naturally occurring mood enhancing hormones) in the blood.

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Getting a massage is wonderful mood and health enhancer but many a time there is no one else around to touch you. So learn to give yourself mini-massages. Massaging any part of the body also directs blood to that part of the body and helps heal the tissue being massaged. If you work with computers a lot, you may suffer from computer fatigue of various kinds. It is important to take enough breaks and during these times to massage your hands. Stretching yourself regularly helps to drive more blood to your brain and make your work more efficient.So when there is no one else around who can touch you, give yourself a massage, touch your skin, stroke yourself. This way you'll heal yourself, feel good and boost your self-esteem.So massage yourself and boost your self-esteem.Added June 20, 2006: I have most probably written about this somewhere else. This true story is apt here.They were experimenting on the effects of high fat foods on the heart. They were feeding very high fat diet to some rabbits noticing how many had heart attacks versus those eating a decent low calorie diet. They noticed that even though most of the high fat animals got sick and died from coronaries of different types, one particular group had very few heart attacks. When they investigated why they discovered that the animal house technician who worked with these animals loved them and stroked them lovingly when she would feed them. She would talk to them and even sing to them. I believe this serendipitous discovery is one of the reasons for the French paradox. The French eat very fatty food full of wonderful cream and much cheese and butter. Yet they are more healthy than we are. This is called the French paradox and many think this is because they drink red wine and have lots of olive oil and garlic in their food. I am sure they contribute but the most important thing is that the French eat slowly with relish. They honestly enjoy themselves and appreciate their companions.

Day 140:Boost your self-esteem by not having pretenses

Today is Father's Day and I remembered a story that my father told me when I was young. The story is set in medieval Iran but I am retelling it in Arthurian times:A knight of the round table was down on his luck and was crossing the mores with a melon. The knight was hungry and cut his melon in two and ate some of the flesh making sure he left quite a lot. He said to himself, "In this way they'll know a knight of the round table passed by here and left most of his melon for the next passer by. However, he was exceedingly hungry and after a little while he ate the rest of the flesh leaving the skin and seeds.He said to himself, "If anyone passes by he will know that a great knight went by here. The knight had a melon and he ate a little of the flesh, and his squire ate the rest of the flesh." A little while went by and once more hunger got the better of him and this time he ate the skin of the melon. This time he said, "If anyone passes by he will know that a great knight went by here. The knight had a melon and he ate a little of the flesh, and his squire ate the rest of the flesh. The knight had a horse and the steed ate skin." A little while went by and once more hunger got the better of him and this time he ate the melon seeds

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and said to himself, "If anyone passes by he will know that a great knight went by here. The knight had a melon and he ate a little of the flesh, and his squire ate the rest of the flesh. The knight had a horse and some ducks and the steed ate skin and the fowls ate the seeds."The knight next looked around and noticed that there was no trace of him having been there. So he said to himself, "Neither a knight came here, nor did a knight go by...."Back

Day 141:Boost your self-esteem by not accepting other people's

problemsMany times we find ourselves at a supposed disadvantage due to no fault of our own. We have done our best and someone else has let us down. Sometimes the person who has let us down is the very person who needs our help and yet the person tries to make us feel guilt even though it is his problem and ours. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated under these circumstances.If you have done your best and have done a good job given the circumstance, accept that fact and celebrate your success. Do not let anyone blame you or fault you especially when they are the ones who need your work. For example a friend had promised to deliver a certain piece of software by a given date. He needed some support from his company and his boss. They did not provide the needed support and the software was released late. At first he felt guilty even though he would have delivered the product on time. I talked to him and asked him to consider whose problem this was? Ultimately it was the company which had promised to deliver by a certain date and thus the problem was the company's not his.Understand that I am not suggesting that you shirk your duty but that you do your best and then forget about the result. When people try to make you feel guilty just smile and refuse to feel that way. Remember no one can make you feel bad without your permission and cooperation and boost your self-esteem.

Day 142:Boost your self-esteem by declaring victory and going

home when real victory is impossibleThere are times when we have done our best and yet due to no fault of our own, things do not work out the way we planned. At these times, it is best to change our tactics totally and completely. A time comes to understand that our current methods of doing things will not take us to the next stage of the task in hand. When this happens, declare victory, go home, rest, and then in time perhaps you'll come up with a better solution or realize that your original goal was not the ideal. Then you may aim for a different end point.Today at work a colleague was wrestling with a system which had been messed up by others. He attempted many different ways of solving the problem at hand and

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each time the system would not work as designed and would give an esoteric error message. My friend was doing a most valiant job but he was dissatisfied with the results he was getting. I suggested that we declare victory and go home.My friend did not like that idea and we continued in vain for another hour or so but kept getting the same result. I have heard it said that madness is taking the same action over and over again expecting different results. In this case my colleague in fact did do different things, and tried this and that, and yet each time, we got the same error message. When we ran out of the different ways of communicating with the system, it was time to give up for the night. Tomorrow we can talk to the help desk and perhaps solve the problem.So be flexible and be ready to stop when you are getting nowhere and boost your self-esteem.Added June 20, 2006: Already we have lost more than 2500 of our brave troops and have brought about the death of more than 100,000 Iraqi civilians. Our leaders knew in 1967 that we could never win the Vietnam war but they continued until 1975, killing thousands more of our soldiers and millions more of Vietnamese and today we are best of friends. Perhaps it is time to declare victory in Iraq and bring our people home where they belong.

Day 143:Boost your self-esteem by splitting your goals in

manageable bitesWe have discussed various aspects of goal setting before. In toady's article we discuss how to break your goals to manageable segments so that the task does not appear impossibly too large. If we examine the eating metaphor, imagine that you have to eat 100 pounds of ice cream. Even though it is ice cream and should be tasty just imagining having to eat so much of it becomes an impossible task. However, if you take this same 100 pounds and eat a couple of ounces each day you know exactly what you have to do and how long it will take to complete the task.Now most real goals are complex and will not be broken down into easy chunks as in the above example. In these cases have your long term goals and at the same time have smaller goals and guide posts which will let you know where you are in respect to your total goal. Next you can further subdivide your partial goals to monthly, weekly and even daily goals.Once you have your daily goals, write down your goals for the day in a list. It is best to make a list which is larger than the number of tasks you can do on a given day, but not so large that it is overwhelming. In this way you challenge yourself and will end up achieving much more than you would without this list. At the end of the day reread the list and notice how many of the daily goals you fulfilled. If you discover that you are typically achieving all your goals you need to challenge yourself more by lengthening your list. On the other hand, if you consistently fail to achieve at least 50% of your list your are challenging yourself too much and you need shorten the list. Somewhere between these extremes is just right. In this way you get good feedback on how well you are doing. Also in the evening when you review how well you did consider what things you may

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have improved and discover what new learnings you have had this day.So move toward major goals one step at a time and boost your self-esteem.

Day 144:Boost your self-esteem by sharing the glory

When you are successful at a task thank as many people as possible. I am talking about true sincere thanks. The more you realize that the whole world is a highly interlocked system and no one achieves anything solely by himself, the more you will boost your self-esteem.Share the glory. Like love, glory is something which increases as you give it away. Deep down people understand who was the main contributors to getting the task done. When everyone in the team is thanked, next time they work even harder and the whole group as a whole becomes more successful and everyone's self-esteem increases.This reminds me of a story:One day the Sun and the North wind are talking and an old man wrapped in an overcoat is passing by. The North wind boasts I bet I can remove that man's coat faster than you can. A wager is made and first it is the turn of the North wind who blows a cold freezing breeze onto the man. The mans coat flutters in the wind but he holds his coat. So the wind blows harder. The man holds onto his coat even harder. The North wind becomes angry and blows with all his might. It is a gale force wind. The man falls and stumbles under the freezing typhoon but he holds onto his coat even firmer not letting go for the fear of life.Next it is the turn of the Sun who gently tells the clouds to move away and shines lovingly on the man. Soon the man is warm and comfortable and he relaxes and lets go of his coat. The Sun continues warming the fellow until he is warm and happy to the bones. The satisfied, contented man smiles and takes his coat off. The Sun smiles and tells the North wind, "You can achieve a hundred times more with love and encouragement than you can with threats and negativity."So share the glory in a task well done and boost your self-esteem as well as that of every one else in the team.For more Mullah Nasrudin and other teaching stories visit these pages:Teaching StoriesMore teaching storiesFurther teaching stories

Day 145:Boost your self-esteem by taking a risk

When we lead a safe life, things do not go very wrong, but we do not achieve much

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either. When we are ready to take risks we can grow and boost our self-esteem. What many people do not realize is that the most successful people in any field are those who take the most risks. Thus Babe Ruth not only had the best home run record but also had the most strike outs. We have previously mentioned Edison and the light bulb and how he was ready to risk ridicule in order to develop the incandescent light. Statistics about self-made millionaires show that on average they go bankrupt many times before they start the business which makes their fortunes. All together, this country is the richest country in the history of the world, thanks to risk takers with great dreams. These entrepreneurs include people like Henry Ford, who said, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."Political change is made by people with strong convictions. These heroes are folks like Martin Luther King who gave his life up for his dream that someday all human beings will be treated equal. King modeled himself after Gandhi, who had used nonviolence to bring down the might of the British Empire. Gandhi was so full of love that when he was murdered by a fanatic, not only forgave his assailant but said, "Love..." with his last breath.So go ahead, take a risk, do something new and different and boost your self-esteem .

Day 146:Boost your self-esteem by surrounding your world with

loveYesterday I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series.Today we start a series based on the inner teachings of the religions of the world. Many adherents of the religions will not agree with my interpretation of their respective faiths. Many of these people see nothing in common between their one true faith and all the other wrong religions. I am not interested in those things which divide people. I am not going to write about those exclusive interpretation of religion which has caused sectarian warfare over the world. I note with sadness that in the Middle East there has been fighting between the three Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) even though all three believe in the same God of love and peace.What this series is about is the inner mystical truths of all religions, the meeting point where the saints and mystics agree. I am starting with Christianity and Love:Jesus was a man of love, tolerance and forgiveness. Learn from him and love all (including yourself) unconditionally. Jesus was castigated by hanging around sinners and tax collectors. However, Jesus understood the need to love and support all. In many parables he talked about God's infinite unconditional love for all human beings. He emphasized that we are all God's children, deserving love and respect.Jesus differentiated the person from the person's actions. He talked about the need of true compassion (not the nonsensical version preached by people linking

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compassion with conservatism -- might as well have "jumbo shrimps" or "military intelligence") for all. Jesus mentioned the difficulty of the rich from entering the kingdom of heaven. He spent time with the poor and disenfranchised.Read the new testament and ponder the words of Jesus. Read the sermon on the mount. Ask yourself how Jesus would feel about the richest country in the world allowing its citizens to go without home, shelter, food, clothing, and adequate medical treatment. If you think Jesus would approve of the way we treat our poor and meek, fair enough. If you are not sure that Jesus would approve, write to your Senators and congress person.Continuing the consideration of the words of Jesus, note that he said, "Do not be like the hypocrites who pray in the temples and synagogues, but when you wish to pray go inside your closet..." (Matthew 7 -- my transliteration). Think about how Jesus would feel about the demand by a vociferous minority to force public prayers in our schools.So read the words of Jesus, meditate on these words, increase your love for all and boost your self-esteem.

Day 147:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the Buddha

Earlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started with considering the words and actions of Jesus.Today we continue by examining the Buddha. When Prince Sidharta Guatama (the future Buddha) was born it was predicted that one day he would see the sorrows and leave his kingdom and become an ascetic. The King and Queen became very depressed upon hearing this and decided to fight the fates. They ordered the Prince to be kept in the palace surrounded only by beautiful things and people. No sick, ugly or old people were allowed to be in the presence of the spoiled GuatamaOne day early in his adulthood the Prince wondered out of the Palace. In the space of a few minutes he saw for the first time in his life a sick person, an old person and finally a dead person. He was shocked and renounced his kingdom and richness. He became an ascetic and meditated for many years under the Bohdi tree. After many years of meditation Prince Guatama was enlightened and became the Buddha.The Buddha believed that life was suffering and one transcended this suffering by accepting whatever is. We learn compassion for all living beings. An important aspect of Buddhism is that fact that deep down we are all awakened and there exists within each of us the inner Buddha or inner Christ for that matter. Understand that both Buddha (the awakened one) and Christ (the anointed one) are titles and not people. It is just that Guatama was the first Buddha and Jesus is the Christ par excellence. The mystics believe that there is deep within each individual a spark of divinity. That the difference between normal people and Guatama is that most of us do not understand that we are each Buddhas. Sooner or later (it may take many incarnations) we each will wake up and realize that we are the Buddha.Other articles on these issues

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Day 148:Boost your self-esteem by learning that you are a chosen

person of GodEarlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started with considering the words and actions of Jesus.On day two we continued by learning from the Buddha.Today we turn to Judaism and the lessons to be learned from the oldest of the Abrahamic religions. Judaism has given so much to humanity that its influence goes way, way beyond the number of its adherents. When I first read the old testament and the story of the Israelites and the term "the chosen people of God," I was pretty incredulous. I could not understand the concept of a chosen people.I come from an Islamic milieu and Islam is absolutely militant on the equality of human beings in the sight of God. Thus when people go on their obligatory Hadge (pilgrimage to Mecca) they have to wear the same simple white linen clothes showing the absolute spiritual equality of king and pauper. I'll write about Islam tomorrow. I just digressed to show how the idea of "a chosen people" was confusing to me.One day I was taking a class in Kabbalah (Jewish mysticism) and my teacher said as far as these ancient mystics were concerned, the Children of Israel were any good, God loving people who had chosen God and thus were chosen of God, given the mutuality of the relationship.I further translated this to mean that all human beings are the Children of Israel and we are all beloved children of God, the chosen people of God. When you understand this simple truth your self-esteem goes up and you can achieve much more.Other lessons from Judaism include the love of education and learning. I believe this love of education and nurturing the mind contributes greatly to the whole quest of being human. All of us have gained greatly from the talents and contribution of many great and brave Jewish people. So continue learning new things each day and boost your self-esteem.

Day 149:Boost your self-esteem by learning the teachings of

IslamEarlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started with considering the words and actions of Jesus.On day two we continued by learning from the Buddha.Day three: Understand you are a chosen person of God

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Islam means surrender to the will of God. This surrender is not blind acceptance of fate or predestination as some Moslems believe, but is the acceptance of what is, in order to use one's free will to decide the future. As the great Iranian poet/mathematician/astronomer/philosopher, Omar Khayam, wrote, the past is passed and nothing in the universe can change the past. The future, however, is wide open. As in other mystical systems, the truth is that no matter what we may do, we always do accept what is. We have no choice but to accept the will of God. The difference between wise people and others is whether we accept the will of God lovingly or kicking and screaming.Note that most truths are like this. You cannot change the inner truths:

• You are a loved child of God. • You are a Buddha. • You do surrender to the will of God. • All human beings are each other's integral parts. Saadi (another Iranian

poet) wrote: "The children of Adam are each other's limbs.... From a single jewel they're the light beams."

• Ultimately all human's are saved (some people may need many more incarnations).

An important point about Islam is the misunderstanding of the word Allah. Allah means the God as opposed to god. It is not the name of God as Elohim or Yod Heh Vav Heh (the unmentionable name of God in the Old Testament mispronounced by Christians as Javeh, Jehovah and such) are names of God.The other thing about Islam is that it is a radical monotheism. Whereas there are traces of polytheism in Judaism e.g., the word Elohim means Gods (it is an interesting word since it is a masculine plural word of a feminine singular God), and trinity in Christianity appears highly non-monothestic to non-Christians such as me. In Islam there is only one God. A favorite short chapter of the Koran says:"Say, there is only one god. God is compassionate. Neither has he begotten nor is he beget. Nor is there any alike him."The mystics (not only Moslem mystics but from all backgrounds) take this unity of God to its logical conclusion by believing that there is only one entity in the universe and we are not separate from each other and the Creator. We are the shadows of an unreality projected onto the curtain of an "objective" world by the supreme light of the Lord. In this metaphor we have light upon light reflected multiple times through a multifaceted gem.So learn from the mystics of Islam that we need accept what is and understand that there is only a single reality and all are one in that single reality.

Day 150:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the teachings of

ZardushtEarlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started

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with considering the words and actions of Jesus.On day two we continued by learning from the Buddha.Day three: Understand you are a chosen person of GodDay four: learn the teachings of IslamToday we change direction going from absolute monism of mystical Islam to the dualistic religion of Zardusht. According to some scholars Zardusht was the first person to introduce monotheism to the world about 2800 years ago. The religion of Zardusht was changed over the years and by 2500 years ago was highly dualistic.Zardusht wrote about the fight between good and evil. Good was represented by Ahura Mazda the God of Light and Ahriman the Demon of evil and darkness. This dualism was later adopted by the Jews who were freed from captivity in Babylon by the Persians and adopted many of the Persians Iranian ways including aspects of their religion Zardushti (Zorastoriansm -- from the Greek of Zardusht). Thus after the exile the Jews adopted dualistic ideas of Satan opposed to God and this was passed on to Christianity and later on Islam.So a lesson from Zardusht is that even though on some level of reality there is only one entity and the lover and beloved of the mystics (the Creator and the creation) are the same, there is another (more normal) level of reality in which evil exists and individuals are separate from each other and the Creator is separate from the creation. The point is that both points of view are correct simultaneously -- reminds me of a Mullah Nasrudin story:

That's Right!One day the Mullah was a Qhazi (judge) first the plaintiff said his piece. He was so eloquent that Nasrudin agreed and said, "That's right." Then it was the turn of the defendant. He too had excellent arguments. The Mullah listened attentively and when the defendant was finished exclaimed, "That's right." The court clerk said, "But Mullah they can't both be right." The Mullah stroked his beard and said, "That's right!"In this case they are both right. It is like quantum mechanics. Is it (an elementary particle) a wave or a particle? "That's right!" It is a wave and simultaneously it is a particle. Truth is like that it is both unitary and dualistic simultaneously.The second teaching of Zardusht is his creed:

• Good thoughts. • Good words. • Good deeds.

We have emphasized the above three over and over in this series. Therefor have positive thoughts and use positive words and always do the correct thing and you will boost your self-esteem.

Day 151:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the teachings of

Paramahansa Yogananda Earlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started

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with considering the words and actions of Jesus.On day two we continued by learning from the Buddha.Day three: Understand you are a chosen person of GodDay four: learn the teachings of IslamDay five: learn from the teachings of ZardushtYogananda founded the Self-Realization Fellowship with many centers in California. He is famous for having wrote "Autobiography of a Yogi." I recommend every one to read this book and if you are near a center do go and visit. I was working in Carlsbad for a while and visited the Ashram in Encinitas a few times during lunch breaks. The center has such a wonderful (literally makes you wonder with a spiritual sense of awe and belonging -- coming home at last) peaceful garden that it is impossible to visit there with a good heart and not be immediately transformed into a meditative state.I am going to give a few quotes from the words of the Master without further commentary:

• "When you yearn for God with intensity, He will come to you." • "If you do not heal the sore places in your mind, you will wince every time

that others rub them." • "Realize now that you are the soul and not the body. Why wait for Death

rudely to instruct you?" • "Seek God for his own sake." • "Do not think of yourself as a sinner. To do so is a desecration of the divine

image within you." • "Life is a great dream of God's."

Books by Paramahansa Yogananda (I have all the following books and more titles by Yogananda -- I highly recommend these books):Autobiography of a Yogi Autobiography of a Yogi This is the audio book read by Ben Kingsley -- This is a wonderful audio book. I bought it from the Ashram at Encinitas and listened to it a few times. It makes my commutes wonderfully peaceful and uplifting.Metaphysical Meditations If you could own only one metaphysical book this is the one I would recommend. I had this book with me when my mother passed away and it was such a support. I have given more than ten copies of this book to friends.How You Can Talk With God I don't have this book but will get it soon.The Law of Success : Using the Power of Spirit to Create Health, Prosperity, and Happiness

Day 152:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the teachings of

Kahlil Gibran Earlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started with considering the words and actions of Jesus.On day two we continued by learning from the Buddha.

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Day three: Understand you are a chosen person of GodDay four: learn the teachings of IslamDay five: learn from the teachings of ZardushtDay six: learn from the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda Kahlil Gibran was born January 6, 1883 in Lebanon from a Maronite Catholic family. He is well known as the beloved Prophet after the title of his most famous book.I am going to give a few quotes from the words of the Master without further commentary:

• "You would drink love from a cup, but not from a surging river. You would hear love's faint murmur, but when love shouts you would muffle your ears."

• "You are not enclosed within your bodies, nor confined to houses or fields. That which is you dwells above the mountain and roves with the wind. It is not a thing that crawls into the sun for warmth or digs holes into darkness for safety, but a thing free, a spirit that envelops the earth and moves in the ether."

• "Love is our lord and master." • "The bad omen of one is the good omen of another."

Day 153:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the teachings of

Jalal-E-Din Rumi Earlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started with considering the words and actions of Jesus.On day two we continued by learning from the Buddha.Day three: Understand you are a chosen person of GodDay four: learn the teachings of IslamDay five: learn from the teachings of ZardushtDay six: learn from the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda Day seven: learn from the teachings of Kahlil GibranJalal-E-Din Rumi was born in 1207 in Eastern Iran and died in 1273 in the Turkish domains of Asia Minor or Rum (Rome after Byzantium the Eastern Roman Empire). Rumi is currently the most popular poet in the world with translations of his work selling more copies than any other poet's books. One problem is that many so called translators do not understand Farsi (the Iranian language of Rumi's works) and I do not understand how they claim to translate Rumi. I left Iran when I was ten and unfortunately my Farsi is not good enough to translate Rumi well. So I am relying on a loose translation based on a class I took in Los Angeles from an Iranian Rumi scholar. I have made no attempt to give flavor of the Iranian poetry of Rumi but will remain true to the spirit of his words.I am going to give a few quotes from the words of the Mulana (another name of Rumi -- it means the master) without further commentary:

• A lover once reached his beloved and instead of making love to her, he pulled

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out a paper of most wonderful sonnets and read them to her. His beloved said to him, "You are with me and these lover's incantations are not needed. It shows that you are in love with you own words and not in love with me.

• When God appears to his ardent lover the lover is so absorbed in him that not a single hair of the lover remains. The lover of God is like a shadow and the Sun (symbolizing God) shines in full glory the shadow disappears.

• Eons past I was a stone and I died as a stone and was born a plant. I died as a plant and was born an animal. Later I died as an animal and I was born as a man. Now that I'm a man why should I be afraid to die?

• The sect of lovers is distinct from all others.... Lovers have a religion and faith all of their own.

• God's light is the source of sense's light. It is "light upon light." The sense's light moves us earthward while God's light lifts us to the heavens.

Translations of Rumi:The Essential Rumi Delicious Laughter : Rambunctious...

Day 154:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the teachings of

Hildegard of BingenEarlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started with considering the words and actions of Jesus.On day two we continued by learning from the Buddha.Day three: Understand you are a chosen person of GodDay four: learn the teachings of IslamDay five: learn from the teachings of ZardushtDay six: learn from the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda Day seven: learn from the teachings of Kahlil GibranDay eight: learn from the teachings of Jalal-E-Din RumiHildegard of Bingen lived in the Bavaria about 900 years ago. She is one of the relatively few mystics in the Christian world. Hildegard was also a poet, abbess, musician, artist, healer, scientist, theologian. In fact she was true renaissance person a few centuries before the renaissance.I am going to give a few quotes from the words of Hildegard without further commentary:

• All that God created was already in God's presence before the world began, before the beginning of time.

• All that exists, exists for the glory of God. • God desires that all the world be pure in his sight. So do not injure the earth.

Do not destroy the earth. • God I'm your opus. Before time began, I was an idea in your mind. • All that God wills, I will. • The soul is kissed by God in its innermost regions.

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Books by or about Hildegard of Bingen:Hildegard of Bingen: On Natural... Hildegard of Bingen, 1098-1179 : A...Hildegard of Bingen Voice of the Living Light : Hildegard of... Sister of Wisdom : St. Hildegard's... Hildegard of Bingen's Book of Divine...

Day 155:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the teachings of

HussainEarlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started with considering the words and actions of Jesus.On day two we continued by learning from the Buddha.Day three: Understand you are a chosen person of GodDay four: learn the teachings of IslamDay five: learn from the teachings of ZardushtDay six: learn from the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda Day seven: learn from the teachings of Kahlil GibranDay eight: learn from the teachings of Jalal-E-Din RumiDay eight: learn from the teachings of Hildegard of BingenImam Hussain was the son of Ali the prophet Mohammed's cousin and son in law. Thus Hussain was the prophet's grand son. Islam was a great social as well as religious revolution. What most people do not realize is that Islam overnight changed the lot of women from less than animals to people with full property and other rights. Before Islam young girls were buried alive by the Beduin Arabs. Mohammed forbad such practices and raised women on a pedestal. In fact the property rights that women have in Islam were only granted to females this century in the West.Another important aspect about these Moslem revolutionaries is that they belied in equality and brotherhood of humanity. Mohammed and his son in law, Ali, and other Moslem leaders lived simple lives giving their wealth as charity to the community. However, all revolutions are betrayed and by the time Hussain was an adult the Islamic Empire had been usurped by evil rulers. Hussain fought against these people who surrounded themselves with wealth and luxury and Moslems only in name but were officially supposed to be the defenders of the faith.Hussain was martyred in the fields of Karbala when he and a band of seventy followers stood up against an army of 10,000 of the tyrant. Each year this martyrdom is commemorated by the modern followers of Hussain, the Shieh sect of Islam. The point and meaning of this martyrdom is that a time comes that one must fight against injustice at whatever cost.In 4 July, 1776 56 men could not stand the injustice of the British colonial regime anymore and risked all in signing the Declaration of Independence? Five of the signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.

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Twelve of them had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two Sons captured. Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War. They could not live under the injustice, they signed the Declaration of Independence and they risked their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. These revolutionaries fought against concentrated power of all kinds. During the colonial period the British crown had extraordinary power which had to be resisted. The other entities which were resisted by the American Revolutionaries were the corporations which owned most of the land in what became the United States.There were many anti-corporation laws on the books of the original thirteen colonies. But alas all revolutions are betrayed and about a hundred years ago the corporations (disliked and kept under control by our founding fathers) persuaded the supreme court that these artificial entities are persons with all the rights (including free speech) which are given to human beings. Now big business brain washes us with their media conglomerates and exports American jobs overseas while not giving a damn about us the people.So celebrate the birth of this wonderful experiment on democracy and freedom by understanding the truth of the American Revolution and the fact that injustice and cruelty must be fought under all circumstances. You can resist the little injustices you see in your life. The most important injustices you can fight are those within yourself. When you have negative self talk you are being unjust to yourself. When you resent someone you bring yourself down. When you feel guilty you are betraying yourself. Fight these negative habits and you'll boost your self-esteem and become a better person. When you improve yourself by boosting your self-esteem you end up being a better friend to those around you and can fight outer injustices with greater strength and success.Related articles (on how to remove your injustices to yourself):Boost your self-esteem: Stop putting yourself downBoost your self-esteem by taking it easy on yourself. Boost your self-esteem by deflecting inner critics I: Challenge generalizations.. Boost your self-esteem by deflecting inner critics II: Use an NLP deflection technique.... Boost your self-esteem by countering negative experiences using NLPBoost your self-esteem by countering negative experiences using NLP -- Part II

Day 156:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the teachings of

Catherine Ponder Earlier I suggested we take risks and boost our self-esteem. This series is risky but I am following my own advice. Please note that I am not trying to insult anyone's belief system. I am hoping to make people think as they read this series. We started with considering the words and actions of Jesus.On day two we continued by learning from the Buddha.Day three: Understand you are a chosen person of GodDay four: learn the teachings of Islam

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Day five: learn from the teachings of ZardushtDay six: learn from the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda Day seven: learn from the teachings of Kahlil GibranDay eight: learn from the teachings of Jalal-E-Din RumiDay eight: learn from the teachings of Hildegard of BingenDay nine: learn from the teachings of HussainCatherine Ponder is an author of many metaphysical books. One of her books called "Pray and Grow Rich," helped me a huge amount when an ex-partner had embezzled my money and my business was dead and I was paralyzed thanks to resentment and hatred for my ex-partner. At this time I was an atheist and yet the following affirmation sounded good to my ears and I had no problem using it:The Christ in me forgives the Christ in you.Unfortunately this book is out of print so I'll give you some pointers from it:In chapter 9 Catherine writes about "The Might of the Prayer of Silence." She writes, "The silence is the key to greater power, dominion, harmony, health, to perfection of every phase of your world. Whatever your life needs, may be contacted in the silence." After relaxing the body one can use the following affirmations to achieve silence:"I relax and let go. I let go and let God.""Peace... I'm relaxed in mind, body, soul and spirit."Other affirmations and ideas from Catherine Ponder:For getting over issues to do with conflict:"This person and this situation are really full of love for me, and I am full of love for them. I praise divine love in this matter now. I behold this situation with love."For improving organizations with difficulties:"Divine love is doing its perfect work here and now. Divine love harmonizes, divine love adjusts, divine love prospers. Divine love foresees everything and richly provides every good thing for this organization now. Divine love is now victorious." Buy some books by Catherine Ponder:

Prosperity Secrets of the Ages Open Your Mind to Prosperity Open Your Mind to Receive Prospering Power of Love

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Day 157:Boost your self-esteem by understanding that those who push your hot buttons are your best teachers

There are some people who for whatever reason manage to push your hot buttons It really does not matter whether they do it on purpose or they are totally unaware of what they are doing to you. One way of dealing with these people is to become mad and let them control our lives. This is the loser's way and will ultimately lower our self-esteem.A better way is to understand that when our hot buttons are pushed it gives us an opportunity to change and to improve ourselves. When we feel bad because of things that someone does or says we need thank the Spirit that we have found a profound teacher.First of all I want to warn you that writing this is much easier than actually doing it. For the last three four weeks there has been a person at work who has pushed all my hot buttons At first I tried being kind and I used most of my NLP techniques to achieve rapport and become friends. Unfortunately these techniques did not work. I don't know if this person is prejudices against Iranians or what, the fact is that no matter how much I have been going out of my way to be friendly he managed to get my goat. I have been telling myself good this is my perfect teacher and what happens I become angry, I feel guilty for being angry and altogether everything I do goes against the spirit and the teachings of this series and my self-esteem kept going down on a daily basis.In the meanwhile I started a series on different religions and religious and spiritual teachers. I wanted to write about this issue but I wanted to write the series just ended. So anyway I got to Catherine Ponder last night and as I was doing the research I got to the segment on using unconditional love to get over conflicts:"This person and this situation are really full of love for me, and I am full of love for them. I praise divine love in this matter now. I behold this situation with love."As I read this affirmation a few times I felt much better. I knew that here was the solution I was seeking. I have been using it since last night. Today went well, but tomorrow may be different. I know that there will be moments of difficulties in the future. I also know that so long as I sincerely send unconditional love to my nemesis, the situation will change and ultimately we may never become friends but a time will come that my hot buttons will disappear and I will no longer dread seeing my teacher.

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Day 158:Boost your self-esteem by surrounding points of conflict

with peace Continuing where I left off yesterday with the issue of how to deal with hot buttons, we can add peace to the unconditional love which can dissolve the conflicts between us.According to most mystical systems there is only one spirit and on some level we are all parts of the same whole. Thus you and your apparent nemesis are in actuality one. Thus after surrounding your nemesis with love and using the affirmations from yesterdays piece, bring peace in your heart to dissolve all conflicts between the two of you.When you see this unity and achieve inner peace the conflict disappears and as the "Course in Miracles" writes: "Child of peace, the light has come to you...."When you have looked upon your brother with complete forgiveness, from which no error is excluded and nothing kept hidden, what mistake can there be anywhere you cannot overlook? What form of suffering could block your sight, preventing you from seeing past it?"You will see your value through your brother's eyes, and each one is released as he beholds his savior in place of the attacker who he thought was there. Through this releasing is the world released. This is your part in brining peace...."If you were one with God and recognized this oneness, you would know his power is yours...."Conflict must be between two forces. It cannot exist between one power and nothingness. There is nothing you could attack that is not part of you...."The Christ in you is very still. He looks on what he loves, and knows it as Himself...."Out of his lack of conflict comes your peace. And from his purpose comes the means for effortless accomplishments and rest."

Day 159:Boost your self-esteem by surrounding things you

cannot change with light of peace Those of you who visit us every morning or most mornings and anyone else who tried to visit us this morning would have discovered that lifefocuscenter.com did not exist this morning. Our apologies, our web hosting company was having problems. We have two different web hosting company. This site (our flagship site) is hosted on one of the largest and supposing best web hosting company with full service. Our other sites are hosted by a much smaller company and cost us much less per site.Anyway unfortunately when I tried to write today's article, I discovered that the hosting company was off-line. I phoned the help desk and was told it would be at least one hour. Eight hours later it was still not back on line. I was feeling frustrated and my self-esteem was going down. At this point I opened one of my Catherine

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Ponder books and did a meditation of white light of peace:I entered the trance state using the progressive relaxation method of self-hypnosis mentioned on this site. Then I thought of the situation (the host company having problems and this web site being down) and I surrounded the situation with white light of peace and unconditional love. Once I had done this I let go and let God, knowing that whatever outcome we get is for the good of all concerned.Having achieved peace of mind I went for a swim and then came in and sat behind the computer and low and behold the website is back up.So surround things you cannot change with the white light of peace and boost your self-esteem.

Day 160:Boost your self-esteem by educating yourself

Education is the best investment you can make. It pays back better than the stock market, real estate, gold, bonds or any other possible investment. Typically a degreed person will earn more than $1,000,000.00 extra income over a twenty five year period. Certificates, seminars and other educational achievement bring smaller but significant monetary advantage. Thus any and all education is an excellent investment.By education I do not necessarily mean formal education although a bachelors degree is more or less mandatory for high paying white collar jobs. Other ways to educate yourself include: community colleges and adult schools; online systems; books and magazines; mentors; seminars; conferences; and any other method which fits your profession, hobbies, or other educational needs.I mentioned hobbies in the above list because having fun is an important aspect of your success. Also the brain is like your muscles, the more you use it the stronger it becomes. Recent research on aging and the brain has shown that when we learn new things as we age our brain functioning and memory do not deteriorate with age the way they do when we rest on our laurels and retire without having new educational goals. In fact learning new things keeps our bodies as well as our brains young.Some people work in fields where there is so much new information that without lifelong education the knowledge acquired becomes obsolete very rapidly. In computer science 50% of all knowledge becomes obsolete every two years. Thus if someone gets a degree in computer science and stops further learning in 6 years they will know 12.5% of a new degreed person and will wonder why he is not advancing in his profession.So educate yourself and boost your self-esteem.

Day 161:Boost your self-esteem by concerning the worst possible

outcome of a negative situationWhen facing a negative or challenging situation we often freeze, become fearful and become highly anxious. At these times it is best to ask ourselves, "What is the absolutely worst thing that could happen in this situation?" Come up with some answers. Next ask the following question, "Is it truly that bad?" And then ask the

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most important question. "Can I survive the worst case?" Typically the answer is, although you may not like the worst case, you could survive. Now knowing that even if the worst happens, you can handle it. Go for it and you'll do better than you thought. Also, keep in mind, that more often than not, the worst case scenario does not happen. In fact the worst case scenario is likely to happen as you winning millions in the lottery.Next time you become afraid think about this acronym of FEAR:

• F -- False • E -- Evidence • A -- Appearing • R -- Real

So challenge your negative fearful thoughts, understand that you could survive the absolute worst outcome and then you may come up with many ways of producing better outcomes and thus boost your self-esteem.

Day 162:Boost your self-esteem by looking for the best in any

situationMy father was one of the most successful physicians of his time in Tehran. His hospital was one of the top three private clinics during a period of twenty years. I could see for myself that he had a wonderful optimistic attitude and great love and compassion for his patients. I had thought that alone was the source of his success.I asked him the secret of his success and he told me that whereas he was a good student in the medical school, there were many of his fellow students who were better than him. Modestly he added that he was just lucky. I asked him to explain and he told me this story:When he had first thought about opening a practice my parents (they did everything together -- my mother was a midwife and hospital administrator) saw this excellent office space in a wonderful part of town. They had nearly signed the lease when the landlord got a better offer and turned them down. They were dejected at first but decided that something better would come along. In time they rented an office on top of their apartment in a cheaper area. As it happened, Tehran grew and soon this outer lying area became a much better area of the city. By this time my parents had expanded the practice to a tiny clinic and soon they decided to buy land and build their own hospital.Again since they could not afford to buy land in the good part of the town, they bought some land on the outskirts of the city and built their new hospital in the boondocks. By the time the building had been completed, the city had again grown and now was in a most advantageous part of town.My father told me this story to teach me that often when things look bad there are other forces at work and so long as you persist and look for the opportunities you will discover the silver lining in any cloud.My father delivered more than 20,000 babies before he retired. His hospital, "Hospital Hashtroudian," was the first private building in Tehran with an elevator. He personally imported the first incubator for care of premature babies into Iran.

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He introduced painless labor to Iran and wrote a book on the subject. There were many other innovations which kept his hospital among the top three for such a long time, but he always insisted that luck (bad luck changed to good by seeing the best in any situation) was a major factor in his success.And if it seems I hero worship my parents, you bet your life. I am proud to be an ACLP (Adult Child of Loving Parents). One day I'll write about how my mother heroically saved more than ten officer's lives in a civil war.

Day 163:Boost your self-esteem by challenging your fears by

imagining the desired outcomeEarlier I wrote about fear and how a good way of looking at it is that it stands for false evidence appearing as real. Another way of putting it is fantasized experiences appearing real. In fact it has been demonstrated that the majority of our fears and worries (more than 98%) never happen. The very few of our fears that do come true in fact we cope with quite well.In spite of all the above statistics often we continue to remain very afraid. This same fear stops us from acting and thus becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.Thus the question to ask when afraid is "How can I conquer this fear and change it into a challenge?" Earlier we suggested asking yourself about the worse thing that could happen and understanding that you could cope with that, finding a better solution. Today we suggest you imagine the desired outcome. By imagining the desired outcome we will boost our self-esteem and be more prepared to tackle the situation at hand.Part of this imagining is rehearsing your possible responses to different situations which may arise. It is through such rehearsals (in simulators) that pilots learn to cope with emergencies. One of the best cases of the victory of rehearsal over fear is the successful return of Apollo 13 after the accident. Our Astronauts were so well rehearsed that they could remain calm in the face of lethal danger and cope with new dangerous situations. So face your fears by imagining the best outcome and use inner rehearsal to boost your self-esteem and achieve success.

Day 164:Boost your self-esteem by making a list of things you

can do to improve yourselfWe started this series with making a list of your successes. Today we ask you to make a list of your future successes. Schedule a half an hour for this exercise. Get some paper and a pen. Isolate yourself in a quite space and relax. Ask yourself, "How can I improve myself?" Write down the first thing that come to your mind. Next repeat this until you run out of ideas. You can use this type of questions:

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• What can I do today to improve myself? • What can I read to be able to earn more? • What can I do to boost my self-esteem? • Have I missed anything else which would improve my life?

Now relax more and let your mind wonder and daydream for a while. Now ask specific questions about the different areas of your life. These include:

• Your health. • Your relationships. • Your spirituality. • Fun and entertainment • Job. • Wealth/investments/savings. • Hobbies.

Continue until you run out of ideas. Now rewrite the list neatly and read it each morning as soon as you get up and each night just before going to sleep for the next thirty days. Do this and I guarantee that at the end of the thirty days you will discover great changes and improvements in your life. Do this and you will boost your self-esteem and achieve more while being happier.

Day 165:Boost your self-esteem by celebrating your successes

with friends Before we first started this series on boosting your self-esteem our web site was getting an average of 500 page visits a month. That is a respectable number of visits for a small site that we were not marketing. Once we started to write this series we realized that there was such a thing as marketing our web site and most nights I work until midnight writing these articles and marketing the websites. Slowly our traffic increased as more of you discovered us and some keep coming back. Please book mark our site, do come back and recommend us to your friends. Anyway thanks to you our friends we have at last reached more than 500 visits a day. Anyway I wish to thank all of your for helping us reach this milestone. The point is to share your victories. Acknowledge your successes. Enjoy the journey not the destination. Always challenge yourself, moving your goals forward -- next milestone is 2000 visits in a single day. Do this and you will boost your self-esteem, and you'll find more and more successes in your life and you will achieve more than you used to imagine.

Day 166:Boost your self-esteem by taking the plunge

Some times we spend far too long getting prepared for something and end up never taking action because we are too afraid of failure. It reminds of of the classic story of missed opportunity (I'll write from the point of view of a male but the story happens to as many ladies as gentlemen):

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It is the twentieth reunion of your old high school and you are talking to the girl you had a crush on and you wanted to take to the senior prom but you never asked. You have had a couple of drinks and "in vino veritas" so you tell her about your secret and she says, "All you had to do is to ask, I would have gone with you and not that jerk...." It's a matter of missed opportunities and risks not taken.I am not suggesting you tackle everything with absolutely no preparation but act at the soonest possible moment and you'll learn on the job. In fact on the job training is the best type of training available. When you dive in the deep end you'll discover that more often than not you'll swim. On the few occasions when you might sink you'll learn so much that the risk is well worth the reward.

Day 167:Boost your self-esteem by feeling the fear and doing it

anywayWe have written a couple entries before on fear:Boost your self-esteem by concerning the worst possible outcome of a negative situationBoost your self-esteem by challenging your fears by imagining the desired outcomeToday we continue about how to deal with fear by concentrating on the feelings of fear. Feelings are caused by the actions of hormones on the nervous system. It is our mind, our consciousness, which gives meaning to the same physical feelings. Thus adrenaline will make your heart beat faster. This can be scary when caused by a near car accident or thrilling when caused by going on a roller coaster ride and exhilarating when caused by falling in love and being near one's loved one for the first time. The physiological reactions are identical, the interpretation of these are different in each case.So when you are about to take a risk you will feel fear. First thing to do is to acknowledge the fear and next reframe the feelings as the thrill of a challenge. The next thing to do is to act no matter what the feeling. As you take action you become used to the action in question and the fear soon disappears.So feel the fear and tack action and boost your self-esteem.

Day 168:Boost your self-esteem by continuing in spite of

disappointmentsThis is a theme I have written about before. As Edison said, "Genius is one percent inspiration ninety nine percent perspiration." In Hollywood there are many overnight sensations. What most people do not see through the hype of publicity agents is the years of hard work and struggle before that one night when at last their persistence paid off.Successful people are those who do not give up and quit and who continue no matter what. They are those people who do not have the word failure in their daily vocabulary. They understand that if you consider the results as feedback and change your tactics when an approach does not produce the desired results and persist

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sooner or later you will succeed.This reminds me of the story of Colonel Sanders who retired from the Army to get his first social security check. He decided then and there that this was not good enough and he would earn more to enjoy in his retirement days. The only asset he had was a wonderful fried chicken recipe. He went to a restaurant and told the owner, "You know I have this wonderful fried chicken recipe which I'll give you for free. All I ask is that you give me five percent of the extra profit you make.' The restaurant owner told him where he could go with his recipe. So Colonel Sanders went to the next restaurant and the next owner. The first ten owners refused him but he did not give up. He persisted. The next one hundred said no. Some would refuse politely and others were not so polite and yet others were definitely very rude. But since you know the ending of the story you know that Colonel Sanders did not give up. He got more than one thousand negative answers and yet he persisted. Eventually the one thousand and seventy ninth restaurant owner decided to take a risk and answered in the affirmative and the rest is history.So persist until you succeed. You will boost your self-esteem as you persist and you will achieve more.

Day 169:Boost your self-esteem by giving up a mild "addiction"

for a weekEarlier I suggested you change a habit for week. In today's piece I suggest you give up a mild addiction for a week. What do I mean by mild addiction? Whatever you want it to mean. For me I'm not drinking any tea for a week. Typically I drink at least five, six cups of tea a day. So I decided that it might be good my body and my soul to stop drinking any tea (or coffee for that matter) for a week.So I ended up having a bad headache. That's how come I know I have a mild addiction to caffeine. My suggestion for things you could give up is caffeine, sugar, meat, alcohol, tobacco, chocolate, and such things. When you give up your mild addiction you prove to yourself who is the master. Is it going to be your mind, your will power or is it going to be your bodily habits. Some people might find this quite easy and others might find it difficult. If one week is too long, do it for a day. If one day is too long do it for six hours. The point id not to make you feel guilty but to make you victorious over your habit. Thus whatever you can do is good enough and so long as you have done your best declare victory. This is all right so long as you next repeat the exercise and lengthen it. Thus say you want to give up smoking for a week and the best you can do (while awake) is two hours, go for that. Now knowing that you have that victory rest for a while, do other things to boost your self-esteem and in a few days increase your goal to three hours.So boost your self-esteem by using your will power to overcome a minor addiction .

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Day 170:Boost your self-esteem by observing with wonder

nature's miraclesMy academic background includes chemistry, biochemistry, and brain sciences. It is impossible to have a strong knowledge of physical sciences without having a great sense of awe and wonder at the miracles of nature. Many scientists I know are highly spiritual. By spirituality, here, I mean true spirituality of awe and reverence and understanding the underlying unity of all existence. By spirituality I mean caring for other human beings and all living things. I mean caring for the world and our ecology.By my definition of spirituality many atheists are highly spiritual and many people with strong religious beliefs (those people with blind faith -- the Scribes and the Pharisees) may not be spiritual at all. Today I was walking, when I noticed a large stone with a plant growing out of it. The plant had somehow rooted in the stone and was by now growing and thriving in this inhospitable environment. I was moved by this miracle of life. It was a the most beautiful sight. The interesting thing is that most days in the last six months I have walked by this wonder and today was the first time I saw it. At the moment I observed this miracle of nature I felt happy and contented to be alive. I felt at one with all nature. It was a wonderful uplifting feeling.So go out of your way to observe the miracles of nature. The list is endless: a new born babe of any species is the greatest miracle in the universe; a flower; a loved one when looked at from the right point of view; a tall tree; any living being; most importantly you.Understand that you are a true miracle of nature. Look after this wonderful miracle and boost your self-esteem.

Day 171:Boost your self-esteem by sleeping on it

Yesterday a friend's contract at work was terminated and he was only given two day's notice. The company had previously asked him to go to a different site in Texas next week for the company. He had already bought his ticket using his own funds and the company did not even offer to pay his refund costs. Most nights I write these articles at night working until around midnight. Given the events at work I just could not come up with a topic to write on. So I decided to use an excellent method for problem solving and creativity. I suggested to my unconscious mind to come up with a topic for the article and went to bed by eleven knowing that I would wake up earlier than usual with the correct answer.This method has been used by many creative people over the years. A famous case is the discovery of the molecular structure of Benzene by Friedrich August von Kekule after he had a dream of whirling snakes. A few years later in a dinner to commemorate this great discovery he said:

"I turned my chair to the fire [after having worked on the problem for some time] and dozed. Again the atoms were gamboling before my eyes. This time

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the smaller groups kept modestly to the background. My mental eye, rendered more acute by repeated vision of this kind, could not distinguish larger structures, of manifold conformation; long rows, sometimes more closely fitted together; all twining and twisting in snakelike motion. But look! What was that? One of the snakes had seized hold of its own tail, and the form whirled mockingly before my eyes. As if by a flash of lighting I awoke... Let us learn to dream, gentlemen."

The method used for actively sleeping on it is to relax using self-hypnosis, meditation, progressive relaxation or any other method you know (a simple way to breath deeply a few times while just affirming relax). Now talk to you unconscious mind and ask your unconscious mind to come up with a solution overnight to you problem. Now let go of all concern and go to sleep. It may be not so easy in the beginning to do this but with practice you can become an expert at it. Last night when I went to sleep I knew by the morning this article would write itself and (forgetting about the fact that my Windows 98 crashed -- what do you expect from a Microsoft product) it did.Have a paper and pencil handy so that you can write your thoughts and solutions to your problem as soon as you wake up. Just continue practicing this and each time you have success in solving your problems creatively by sleeping on it you will boost your self-esteem and increase the likelihood of success the next time

Day 172:Boost your self-esteem by understanding Murphy's LawFrom yesterday morning:

"I wrote this really interesting article this morning on sleeping on it after doing exactly that. Unfortunately the computer crashed and I did not save the piece even though I had worked for more than half an hour on it. I had got up extra early to write it. Anyway it's now water under the bridge and I have to rewrite it. In order to boost your self-esteem it is important to accept whatever is and make the best out of it. So I know that I will write a better article. The problem is that I have to leave for work just now. So this teaser is all you will get until later on today. Please accept my apologies. I'll have the correct article up by 4:00 p.m. pacific time."

I should have known that this would have happened. I have been a software engineer for such a long time I know Murphy's law too well. I always save my documents. This time, however, I was having so much fun, the article was really interesting (to write anyway) that in the heat of the excitement I forgot to save the article even a single time. Hence the above apology. Anyway here is Murphy's Law:What ever can go wrong will go wrong.The above is the number one rule of engineering and in fact it can be applied to all aspects of life.Clarification of Murphy's Law:Whatever can go wrong will go wrong at the absolutely worse possible time.Further clarification:Murphy was an optimist.

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Yet further clarification:Murphy was an extreme optimist.Final and most important clarification:In spite of all the above: systems are built; most bridges do not fall; most rockets do not explode; many people remain happily married till death do them part; we survive all sorts of calamities and grow through the survival.Therefor understand that in your life you will face many difficulties and you'll survive them all (bar the final one -- but that's another story) and you will become stronger. You will boost your self-esteem.

Day 173:Boost your self-esteem by understanding that something

is better than nothingAs I have written before donating blood is something which is good for your health and at the same time boosts your self-esteem for when you give to others and are generous you feel better about yourself. Anyway it's time for me to go and donate blood. I can only do it on a Saturday because of my work and on Saturdays they are open till twelve. So I have to leave soon. I have been working on something else until now. Thus the choice is to do this article quickly (the choice I decided on), do it later (I'll improve it later), or not to donate blood (not a choice for me).The point is as I have emphasized many times before to know your priorities. Do something (you can always improve whatever you do later). Most importantly be easy on yourself. You cannot do all that you want to or need to. Fight perfectionism and boost your self-esteem.Next Day:I just want to add some observations to yesterday's piece. When I was donating blood automatically the following affirmation was running through my mind:"I thank God the Giver for God the Gift." As the words were repeated I started to think about their significance with respect to my blood donation. It became obvious that life itself is a precious gift from God and I was only a channel giving God's gift to someone else. So: "I thank God the Giver for God the Gift."

Day 174:Boost your self-esteem by buying some used books

We already know that a high self-esteem contributes to your success and achievement. To this end we have written this series. And in toady's piece you boost your self-esteem by learning new things.There are so many second hand books available in small independent book stores, second hand book stores and thrift stores. Typically you can find some very interesting books for less than $2. When you go to thrift stores you can at times get good paperbacks for a quarter or so each. Look for books you may normally never buy. Find books with weird or opposing points of view.Read some of these books as fast as you can. Perhaps all you need is to read a single chapter of a book to get the flavor of what is written. When you read new materials

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or opposing opinions and philosophies you are exercising your mind and strengthening your intellectual capabilities.I often go rummaging around thrift stores and find books on all sorts of subjects I would not study if I had to pay $20 to $40 on but to spend $2 to $4 to learn about some historical subject is a good deal. I may look for books with lots of pictures. Typically I have little time to study these books so I try to find books which are easy reads.I suggest if you have never read one of these you find and read books on these topics:

• Philosophy -- especially if you find a simple history of philosophy book. • Some plays: (A Greek Tragedy, Something from Shakespeare, a modern

play). • A science book -- especially if you find one on modern physics. • A book on a religion different from your own. • A children's book -- reread a classic as an adult (may I suggest "The little

prince," or one of the Alice books). • A political text with an opposing point of view. • History books (any is fun and useful -- I often get school books which I can

read very fast). • Dictionaries -- both normal and specialized dictionaries like "Dictionary of

Music." The list is endless. Find new topics and make your mind grow. The wonderful thing about the human brain is that the more you put in it, the larger it becomes. The more new stuff you learn the easier it becomes to learn new things.It is interesting to know that the number one external indicator of someone's success in the business world is the person's vocabulary. The more words you know the meanings of and can use actively the higher your chances of increasing you salary. Get that dictionary and use it often to learn the meaning of new words in context. All you need is to learn three new words a day and very soon you'll be one of the most erudite people in your circle of friends.Added June 20, 2006: Most Orange County public libraries have friends of the library book stores and you can get wonderful books for dollar or two. Also now days you hardly need any books thanks to Internet. Go to some sites that you disagree with and read a few articles without any prejudgement. So if you are a liberal go to a conservative site, etc...Expand your range -- expand your mind. For a moment pretend you are totally absolutely wrong.

Day 175:Boost your self-esteem by asking excellent questions

This is a topic we are revisiting. According to Tony Robbins the quality of your questions determines the quality of your life.I would like to suggest some interesting questions you can ask yourself:Morning questions -- ask these as soon as you wake up:

• What can I do today to take me nearer to my goals?

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• How can I be a better wife/husband/son/daughter (fill in whatever is appropriate to you) for my ....(fill in whatever is appropriate to you)?

• What new things can I learn today? • How can I achieve more today while having more fun? • What can I do today to improve my health (change health to other aspects of

your life: wealth, spirituality, vocation, relationships, education, fun)? Night questions -- ask these just before going to sleep:

• What lessons did I learn from today's events? • How can I improve the outcome next time I do XXX? • How could I have done better today? • What can I do tomorrow to improve my life?

General questions -- some extremely deep (take your time and revisit these questions over and over again):

• What would you like to become an expert on? This comes from Earl Nightingale who said, "If you will spend an extra hour every day and study, in five years or less you will be a national expert." Just think about it a single hour a day to study just one topic. Concentrate your studies and become a national expert.

• How would the person I'd like to be do the things I will do? • Why am I alive? This is as deep as you can get: What is the purpose of your

life? • What am I pretending not to know and what difference could I make if I

stopped this pretense? Books by Tony Robbins:Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical & Financial Destiny! Unlimited Power : The New Science of Personal Achievement The Five Rituals of Wealth : Proven Strategies for Turning the Little You Have into More Than Enough (by Tod Barnhart, Tony Robbins )Notes from a Friend Giant Steps : Small Changes to Make a Big Difference : Daily Lessons in Self-Mastery

Day 176:Boost your self-esteem by coping with change

We live in a world where more change happens in a single year than happened a whole century a century ago. People who do not change with the times are likely to be left behind. We have advised continuing education as one way of keeping up with the accelerating change.One of the best ways of achieving success in today's world is to be flexible in the face of rapid change. Yesterday we mentioned some questions which would help you boost your self-esteem and achieve your goals. Today we wish to add some questions which will help you cope with the changes in society, business and technology:

• What new technologies are coming on line which may change my job opportunity?

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• Am I keeping up with these technological changes? • What opportunities are there in these changes for my business? • What educational opportunities exist in the coming changes? • What is the meaning of changes in societal attitudes in your life? • What jobs are going to be in high demand in five years time and what

educational needs do I have in order to be ready for high paying jobs of the future?

In our parent's generation the majority of people kept one job working for a single company. Where as today, most people have four or five distinct jobs in different fields working for about ten different corporations in their work life. Thus it is extremely important to keep up with the future opportunities and continue your education as an ongoing effort. So be prepared for change. Face it as a fun challenge, be flexible and boost your self-esteem.

Day 177:Boost your self-esteem by practicing walking meditationTonight I did not know what write so I went for a walk. As I was walking and observing the beautiful views I started automatically repeating one of my favorite affirmations: "I now thank God the giver for God the gift." I just kept repeating the same words over and over again and I was feeling better and better, more at peace with the universe and more loving toward my fellow human beings. At this time the idea for this article came.So how do you do walking meditation? First of all walk deliberately and be grounded. That is be aware of your feet as they touch the ground. Imagine as if your feet have invisible roots connecting you to the center of the earth. On the other side imagine antennae growing from top of your head going up to the heavens. As you walk in your imagination allow cosmic energies pass through you as though you are part of a circuit linking the heavens and the earth. While you are walking say an affirmation or a mantram. Be aware of your surroundings in all sensory modalities. Thus see the sights, hear the sounds and feel the air (and your clothes) on your body as you walk. Just use all your senses as acutely as you can. In my heart I smile at the people I pass and send them a silent blessing.By the time you conclude this walking meditation you will improve the health of your body/mind/soul/spirit and you will boost your self-esteem and will feel better about yourself.

Day 178:Boost your self-esteem by appreciating your health no

matter what Last night I had so much fun during my walking meditation that I did not notice that I was overdoing the walking. So tonight I have a couple of blisters at the sole of my feet. These blisters are no problem at all but the slight hurt made me think about illness and the inner attitude.

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The question is what attitude should one have when one is not feeling well? All medical research has shown that a happy hopeful attitude is most conducive to healing and restoration of health. Norman Cousins was diagnosed with a heart ailment. When he went to the hospital he decided to give himself a new type of cure. He watched Marx Brothers movies and other comedies and read funny books. Basically he showed the effectiveness of humor therapy. He describes his victory over disease in the seminal book "Anatomy of an Illness." Later research has demonstrated the biochemical effects of laughter and happiness. When you are happy and have a hopeful attitude your immune system becomes more powerful. However, when you are sad and depressed your immune system becomes sad and depressed. Once more modern biochemical research has confirmed holistic attitudes which link the mind/body/soul/spirit as a single indivisible unit. Thus when feeling sick get out the funniest videos you have and take your medicine. The same treatment (laughter) is very good as a preventative medicine too. So laugh your way to better health and boost your self-esteemRelated books:Anatomy of an Illness As Perceived by the PatientHead First : The Biology of Hope and the Healing Power of the Human Spirit Back

Day 179:Boost your self-esteem by blessing everyone and

everythingThis starts with the spiritual understanding that all people and things are reflections of God and have a spark of the Divine light deep within. When you bless someone you are acknowledging this inner Divinity. Catherine Ponder in the Prosperity Secrets of the Ages suggests this blessing: "I bless you and bless you for the goodness of God that is within you." Another blessing she suggests is: "I begin now to bless everything that comes into my life as good, good, good." Such blessings have a near miraculous effect of lifting your spirit and making you happy and bringing wondrous synchronicities into your life.An important aspect of this blessing is to bless your enemies and people who annoy you. So next time someone cuts in in front of you in the freeway instead of getting angry and desiring to kill, relax, have an inner smile and silently think, "God bless you brother. I love you. Go in peace." I know doing this is very difficult for me since I drive very courteously and I expect the same from others. However, when I can do it the drive is so much easier. Also each time I do it I am starting a good habit and this makes the next time easier.By the way since I have started to send love and blessing to my coworker who pushed my hot buttons I feel good about him and I am no longer bothered by the situation. The truth is that these methods do need working at, but they do work. Some are more apt for each individual and some may just go against your individual quirks. Do try them each a little anyway and then chose the ones which are perfect for you.

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Ultimately most importantly remember that when you bless everyone and everything, you must bless yourself and have unconditional forgiving love for yourself and this will boost your self-esteem.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteBuy some books by Catherine Ponder:

Prosperity Secrets of the Ages Open Your Mind to Prosperity Open Your Mind to Receive Prospering Power of Love

Day 180:Boost your self-esteem by making a wish list -II

Earlier I wrote about making a wish list in today's piece I wish to extend what you did then by using a technique mentioned by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen in The Aladdin Factor. They suggest you make a list of at least 101 wishes. As usual they suggest you be as specific as possible with all your wishes. Thus if you wish for a raise give the exact amount, date to be achieved and any other relevant factors. Perhaps you need a new job in order to get that raise. Mention anything at all that comes to mind. The longer the list the better off you will be. They tell the story where in a goal setting workshop where the seminar leader asked the participants to write down a goal. Then she said, "Okay, write down another one." She continued in the same mode for three hours. By this time the participants were quite tired and their minds were relaxed. Now she said, "Okay, now I want you to do a special thing. I want you to write down a goal, but this one is special. On this one you can wave a magic wand, and write down anything you want. It doesn't have to live up to any requirement of anything. Just imagine you have a magic wand." Next the instructor ended the class by mentioning that this last wish would get fluffed by the next weeks class. A week went by and when the seminar met again they discovered that the last wish, the magic wish of a quarter of the class had come true within that single week.My suggestion is first to revisit your success list. If you have written it, add to it. Think of all the successes you have had since you wrote your success list. If you have not written it yet, write it. Now start your wish list. Make it as long as you can. Each day, read your success list, add to it if possible and then add some more goals to your wish list. Do this until you have at least 101 goals in your wish list.Suggested Books:The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor HansenDare to Win by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen (contributor)

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Day 181:Boost your self-esteem by reviewing the second ten days

of this seriesOn day 121 we suggested you boost your self-esteem by reviewing the first ten days of this series. Today we review the second ten days of the series.Day 11: Go to a church, synagogue, temple, mosque and boost your self-esteemDay 12: Dine out and boost your self-esteemDay 13: Dine out and boost your self-esteemDay 14: Look at yourself adoringly in the mirror and boost your self-esteemDay 15: Write down your goals and boost your self-esteem -- we started a series on goal writing. Knowing your goals and writing them down is one of the most important things you can do to boost your self-esteem. Rules one and two -- write it the way you want it and in the present tense.Day 16: Writing your goals continued: Rule three -- Keep it simple..Day 17: Writing your goals continued: Rule four -- have them for yourself.Day 18: Write your goals continued: Rule five -- Keep your goal realistic while you dream your wildest dream.Day 19: It's better to do something than to be paralyzed by perfectionismDay 20: Give yourself a deadline and then do it even if it is not as good as you desire

Day 182:Boost your self-esteem by reviewing the third ten days

of this serieson Day 121 we suggested you boost your self-esteem by reviewing the first ten days of this series. Yesterday we reviewed the second ten days of the series. Today we review the third ten days of the series.Day 21: Rule six of well written goals: Your goals need have an achievement time.Day 22: Rule seven of well written goals: Make your goals specific.Day 23: Rule eight of well written goals: Think of all consequences of your goal from an ecological point of view.Day 24: Rule nine of well written goals: Have a way of measuring the achievement of your goalsDay 25: Smile for no reason and boost your self-esteemDay 26: Better late than never?Day 27: Ask good questions and boost your self-esteemDay 28: Boost your self esteem by getting a mentorDay 29: Take a long shower and boost your self-esteemDay 30: Take ten deep breaths and boost your self-esteemBasically in the above we end the series on goal setting. At various times we add to the goal setting articles by making affirmations from our goals and making wish lists. Then we continue with other ways of boosting your self-esteem.

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Day 183:Boost your self-esteem by reviewing the fourth ten days

of this seriesOn Day 121 we suggested you boost your self-esteem by reviewing the first ten days of this series. Then we reviewed the second ten days of the series. Yesterday we reviewed the third ten days of the series. Today we review the fourth ten days of the series.Day 31: Stand up tall with head erect and boost your self-esteemDay 32: Take a brisk walk and boost your self-esteemDay 33: Celebrate a victory by buying yourself a gift and boost your self-esteem Day 34: When you got lemons make lemonade and boost your self-esteemDay 35: Send yourself some flowers and boost your self-esteemDay 36: Listen to some calming classical music and boost your self-esteemDay 37: Be kind to a stranger and boost your self-esteem.Day 38: Boost your self-esteem by using affirmationsDay 39: Use affirmations continuedDay 40: Use affirmations continuedThese ten are a smorgasbord of different self-esteem boosting techniques. We ended with a series on affirmations. These are very easy to do and yet extremely powerful.

Day 184:Boost your self-esteem by being spontaneous

At the time I'm writing this I am getting over a summer cold. I woke up last night in a sweat and my nose would not stop running. I took some cold medicine, used self-hypnosis to give myself healing suggestions. By the morning I was better but quite tired and not firing on all cylinder.I left work early and already rested this afternoon and have to go to bed early so that I'll be well . I read a chapter of a book to help me write this article. I realized that I needed more work on that idea before it could be made into one of these articles. So I sat in front of the computer knowing that an idea for the article would come to me as soon as the program I use to write these articles opened.I noticed that I was being spontaneous, and so this article. As I'm thinking about it, I see a paradox: "Can you be spontaneous on demand?" It is like a Zen Koan*: "Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow."However in practice there are ways of stimulating your spontaneity and boosting your self-esteem simultaneously. Do these exercises in spontaneity:

• Take a pen and a pad and doodle. Just draw whatever comes to your mind do not edit anything and let your mind wander wherever it will. This frees your right brain and increases your creativity. Later on you may analyze the drawings if you desire.

• Take a pen and a pad and write as fast as you can with no editing. Sometimes you may do this after looking at an object, hearing a piece of music, smelling a perfume, tasting a new food, or touching some fabric. The trick is to just write. In the beginning you can repeat some sentence such as: "I am

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writing...." over and over again. When you write fast eventually the thoughts spontaneously enter your consciousness and will be written down. Later on you may analyze the writings if you desire.

• Sing in the shower.... • Go to a restaurant (preferably an ethnic one) and close your eyes and point

to an entree in the menu. • Note your habits (which sock do you put on first -- which side of your face do

you shave first) and for a week do the opposite. EXTRA:Mullah Nasrudin story:The Mullah had a stall at the Bazaar and today the Bazaar was empty of customers. A fellow merchant notices that the Mullah keeps laughing to himself. He goes over to the Mullah and says, "Mullah has the heat gone to your head? Why are you laughing so much." The Mullah replies, "My friend, I'm passing the time telling myself jokes." "Very good Mullah, but pray tell me how come just now you doubled up in hysterical laughter." The Mullah smiled a mischievous smile and said,"The other jokes were old. This one I had never heard before."

Day 185:Boost your self-esteem by not being an agent of karma

Karma is a Sanskrit word which basically means the law of cause and effect. Another way of putting it is, "What goes around comes around." In Farsi we have a poem which loosely translated states: I was wondering along the highway when I came upon a murdered corpse. I asked, "O Corpse, who did you murder that you should be murdered thus?" So what does it mean to be an agent of Karma? I can give an example from my own life when I was younger and less wise (to be charitable -- more stupid other wise) I used to become extremely angry whenever someone would cut me off on a road. I would change lanes out accelerate them and pull out in front of them and at times when I was extra foolish I would even jam my foot on the breaks to show them what idiots they were not even realizing what an idiot I was to risk life and limb in order to teach someone else a lesson.It is interesting since I stopped acting as an agent of Karma, I have noticed that inevitably people who drive aggressively will end up with someone pulling out in front of them. There is absolutely no need for you to do it.Jesus may have been referring to this not being an agent of karma when he said, "Let he who is without sin throw the first stone." Again the Master talked about turning the other cheek. Gandhi and Martin Luther King followed the same path when they preached nonviolence. By practicing nonviolence (not being an agent of karma) we stop the cycle of an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth and move to a cycle of peace bringing more peace.Mullah Nasrudin and being an agent of karma:This story like many other Mullah Nasrudin stories come from the great Iranian

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mystic poet: Rumi.The Mullah and three friends were in the mosque saying their prayers when they heard some loud children singing outside the mosque. The first friend screamed, "Kids, keep quite, can't you see we are saying our prayers." The second burst out, "You fool, you spoke. Now you have to say your prayers all over." The third could not help himself and out came, "You too. You spoke too." The Mullah was pleased with himself spoke loudly to himself, "Thanks be to God, I'm not like my friends to talk aloud."

Day 186:Boost your self-esteem by dancing naked alone

Here we want you to celebrate your body and understand what a great miracle you are. It is so important to understand that there is a spark of the Divine in every person including you. You are a beloved child of God. You are priceless, worth more than all the material objects in the world. Once you understand this simple truth, you will appreciate yourself and your self-esteem will go up. We have emphasized that as you boost your self-esteem you will achieve more success and enter a positive cycle where your achievements will increase and this will boost your self-esteem which will increase your achievements.So choose a time when you are alone. Lock the door. Put on your favorite dance music. Now take your clothes off and become as God made you. At this level of existence we are all the same. We are beloved of God. As you dance to your favorite music you may desire to repeat one of these affirmations:

• I am a beloved child of God. • The Spirit surrounds me with love. • I can create peace here and now • All is love. • Peace and love now.

The reason I wrote this today is that day 77 has been visited the least of any day in this series. The title of this article is: Boost your self-esteem by repeating "I like myself" or "I approve of myself."When I have recommended this affirmation to some of my clients I have noticed some resistance from exactly those people who would gain the most from repeating the above two affirmations. So please go to the page read it and then do it. At first it might be difficult but it will keep becoming easier as you boost your self-esteem. Unfortunately we have been taught that approving ourselves is selfish and arrogant. In fact it is the apposite. You can only love others in as much as you appreciate yourself. I am suggesting that as you approve yourself and like yourself you will become more likable and approvable.Mullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was invited to say the sermon for six weeks. The first Friday (the Moslem Sabbath) the Mullah preached all about the glories of heaven and how if you did this, that and the other you would have an eternal home in heaven. He also preached a fiery sermon about the horrors of hell and how unless the populace changed their way they would belong to the depths of hell. The people liked the sermon and eagerly waited for the next Friday. When the appointed day cam, the

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Mullah gave the identical sermon word for word. The people thought that perhaps the Mullah had taken the wrong notes but it was a good sermon and worth hearing a second time.The next Friday, the Mullah repeated the same sermon using identical tonality and voice inflections. By this time a few people became bored. Next week when the Mullah repeated the same sermon verbatim everyone shook their heads and they thought that the Mullah must be getting senile or something.So the next week a few of the village elders stopped the Mullah before he started and said, "Mullah do you know that you are repeating the same sermon each week?" The Mullah smiled and replied, "Of course I know, and I'll keep repeating it until a few of you listen to my word!"

Day 187:Boost your self-esteem by not judging people things

superficiallyJesus said, "Judge not that you are not judged". If only we could listen to that advice. Too often we judge people by the clothes they wear, the cars they drive, their jobs, the size of their wallets. The list goes on.We judge things based on their outsides. We eat foods which are bad for us -- manufactured tastes designed to addict us against the health of our bodies. Each time we judge superficially something inside us understands and our self-esteem diminishes. When we can see through the superficialities of life again the truth is seen by our soul and we increase our self-worth and boost our self-esteem.The most important thing about today's idea is to apply it to yourself. Do not judge yourself superficially. You are not your clothes, car, house, job, bank account. You are a beloved child of God. You are a human being, full of worth and dignity. Understand and appreciate the best in yourself and unconditionally love yourself and you self-esteem will go up..Know that when you unconditionally love anyone, it does not mean you accept all their actions. You can correct the wrong actions while loving the person. Do the same to yourself. Unconditionally love yourself and change your behavior to improve yourself, to bring out that inner goodness that we all have.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was invited to a rich person's mansion for a feast. He wore his old decrepit clothes and rode his donkey. He was shown to corner of the room well away from the dignitaries and given stale food on earthenware. Next week he went back to the same home. This time he wore his best clothes with Silk from Cathay and embroidered with real gold. As soon as the serenest saw this obvious dignitary riding an all white Arabian stallion, they knew this was a man of honor and worth. They guided him to the place of honor next to the wealthy host. They brought the Mullah the choicest foods. There was venison from Samarkand, gaz from Isphahan, and sohan from Ghom. The food was served on golden plates from Julfa. The Mullah ate

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a single morsel of food and then started stuffing all the food into his sleeves. The host asked him, "Dear Mullah, what are you doing?" The Mullah answered, "I am the same person who got the stale food last week, obviously this food belongs to my clothes."

Day 188:Boost your self-esteem by being assertive and at the

same time covering your adversaries with unconditional love

Last night we went to a concert and the person next to me was one of those who puts his arms well into your space. Most of the time my arms were in the air since I was using my binoculars. However, when I would try to put my arms down I noticed that his arm was well onto my chair. So I put my arm where it should be, gently pushing his arm back to where it should belong. My neighbor pushed back. I thought "What is the lesson in this situation"?The following answers came:

• No matter what happens enjoy life. I was not going to let this situation to stop me enjoying a wonderful concert.

• If someone attempts to trample on your rights resist peacefully and assertively. The whole point about being assertive is that one goes after one's rights but one is not aggressive.

• Always relax your mind when getting annoyed. • Look in the lessons in any situation which annoys you. • Cover annoying situation with love.

So I took a deep breath, relaxed my mind and imagined a white light of protection covering me. Visualizing a white light of protection whenever being aggressed upon will always help you fend off the aggression. I don't know if the effects are only internal or not. What I do know is that this method works.Next I changed the color of the light to pink. Pink light represents unconditional love. So I imagined covering both of us with this pink light of unconditional love. I next decided to hold my own, putting my arm within my space and not minding if our arms touched each other. I next let the situation go and continued to enjoy the concert.The outcome when the first group was done the couple next to us left to get a drink. When they came back they switched places and the lady was sitting next to me. She did not intrude into my space and I did not intrude into hers. I enjoyed the headline group without any concern about some one putting his arms into my space. Now I do not claim that what I did caused the couple to change places, but even if that had not happened the fact that I was assertive and relaxed my mind and visualized white light of protection and pink light of unconditional love would have made the situation much easier to accept.

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Day 189:Boost your self-esteem by being compassionate and not

arrogantAbout three months before we were married my wife (the co-author of this series) mentioned that she would never marry a smoker. So I stopped smoking. I used a hypnosis tape to help me but basically it was very easy for me. However, when my sister stopped smoking it was very difficult for her. Later on I stopped drinking alcohol over a bet I had with myself although I was not a problem drinker, I did enjoy drinking a lot. Again it was very easy for me to stop drinking. In this series I have suggested that you stop habits and minor abdications for a day and also for a week. This is quite easy for me but difficult for many.Now why was it easy for me to stop smoking, while it was difficult for my sister? Is it because I have a strong will power and my sister has a weak one? The answer is no, absolutely not. It is just that the biochemistry of my brain is different from that of my sister. Our brain biochemistry determines much of our personality. So if you can do something easily, do not think it is simply because you are so great and others are weak since they do not have your God-given capabilities.The reason I'm writing this is that yesterday I heard on the radio that George W. Bush looks down on people who have to go to a twelve step program. To me, this is a combination of arrogance and misunderstanding of human differences. I was talking about this to a friend and he asked, "What's the difference between arrogance and stupidity?" In this case, not much.Since I am writing about the arrogance of George W. Bush, I must write about his cavalier attitude to the people he executes. When asked about the possibility of an innocent person being executed among the 120 plus people executed during his tenure as the Governor of Texas he smirked and said he was positive everyone was guilty. This is under circumstances when many of the executed had clearly lacked reasonable legal representation. Now just because no European country has capital punishment does not mean that we should not have the death penalty. After all such paragons of human rights as Afghanistan, China, Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia have the death penalty. However, I hope many of you would agree that if we must execute someone we need make sure the person is not innocent. To this end the Governor of Illinois has put a moratorium on executions even though he is for the death penalty. He has the understanding and humility to see that the current system does not work and may have sent innocent people to the death chamber.Enough of analyzing our potential future President and his arrogance This is not a political tract. I just wanted to use a public example to write about compassion and arrogance. When we are compassionate and understanding of others that but for the grace of God there go I, we are also more compassionate toward ourselves and we are more forgiving of our own supposed failures. When we are truly compassionate we care for all and send out unconditional love and this boosts our self-esteem.On the other hand when we are arrogant we destroy something deep within and lower our self-esteem. The ancient Greeks had a name for it: Hubris. Typically Hubris was one of the greatest of crimes which led to the downfall of the great.

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So do your best, achieve, but do not look down on others and your self-esteem will go up. Be compassionate to yourself. Do not compare yourself with others. We are each individuals with differences. We have talents and there are things that are difficult for each one of us. Accept both your talents and difficulties with unconditional love, compassion and humility and boost your self-esteem.

Day 190:Boost your self-esteem by accepting contradictory ideas

The real world is full of paradoxes. In quantum mechanics we never know if an elemntary "particle" is a wave or a particle. It all depends on the experiment we perform. When we look for particles, we observe particles and when we look for waves, waves are what we see. The same type of dichotomies are true in all aspects of life. A few nights ago I suggested that we are lovingly assertive. Apparently contradictory, but the only way we can be truely assertive is by being loving. Over and over again you'll find apparent contradictions in what I write.

• Stand up for your rights. • Love everyone unconditionally. • Do not judge anyone. • Learn lessons (needs judgement). • Turn the other cheek. • Assert yourself. • Have a feast. • Have a fast.

The list is endless. Once you learn to accept apparent contraditory ideas you'll walk the middle way that philosophers of old (both from East and West) suggested is the ideal. Also flexibility in thought and accepting apparaent contradictions leads to creativity and increase in intelligence and achievements.So learn to accept apparently contradictory ideas and paradoxes and boost your self-esteem.Mullah Nasrudin story: One day the Mullah was a Qhazi (judge) first the plaintiff said his piece. He was so eloquent that Nasrudin agreed and said, "That's right." Then it was the turn of the defendant. He too had excellent arguments. The Mullah listened attentively and when the defendant was finished exclaimed, "That's right." The court clerk said, "But Mullah they can't both be right." The Mullah stroked his beard and said, "That's right!"

Day 191:Boost your self-esteem by treating your body like the

temple of the spiritYour body is the temple to your spirit. Look at what you do to your temple. Is it (metaphorically) full of money changers and filth? An ancient Greek philosopher said, "A healthy mind in a healthy body." Is your body healthy? Do you eat good

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food? Do you eat mostly fruits, vegetables and cereals, keeping your red meat consumption to the minimum? Or do you eat mostly junk food? Do you exercise regularly or is your main exercise using the TV remote and the computer mouse?When you look after your body, you are respecting yourself. You are telling yourself that you are someone valuable. Think about it: if you owned a pedigree cat or dog would you feed it foods which were good for its health, or would you feed it junk food and send it to an early grave?Now for the good news: it does not have to be one hundred percent to count. You can make minor changes in your eating and exercise habits and improve your health and show yourself that you care and boost your self-esteem. Order a salad instead of a cheeseburger now and then. Eat a little less red meat and fat. Eat a little more fruits and vegetables Park the car the other side of the parking lot. Walk for five minutes. Go up those stairs. Tiny changes over time can lead to habit formation and great improvement to your health and boost your self-esteem.Mullah Nasrudin story: One day the Mullah came down the hill to the country of Hindustan (India). He was hungry and as he was about to enter the village he saw a man selling strange red fruits. He gave the man a couple of copper coins. These fruits were plentiful and cheap in these part and the man gave him his whole basket and went away. So the Mullah sat on the side of the street and started eating the fruits. His mouth burnt with the first bite but he continued eating the hot fruits. A few minutes later a friend came by and the Mullah who could hardly breath for his mouth was by now a volcano continued eating the fruits. The friend said, "Mullah these are a type of pepper. They are used sparingly in dishes. Don't eat them." The Mullah replied, "I stopped eating these a long long time ago. I'm now eating my money."

Day 192:Boost your self-esteem by interpreting events in the best

way possible Whenever possible I go for a walk in the evenings after work to meditate, thank God, and find inspiration for this series. Tonight I had no idea what to write about so I went for my walk. As I walking and saying some affirmations, I came upon a pretty young lady. As I glanced at her, I noticed that she looked me over and smiled. I have quite a high self-esteem, so I immediately interpreted the event as obviously she liked me. Now I am very happily married (to the co-author of this series) but it is always good to feel good looking and attractive. So my interpretation of the event boosted my self-esteem.I remembered a friend who has an extremely low self-esteem. If the same event had happened to my friend he would have assumed the young lady was laughing at him and this would have further lowered his self-esteem. An issue arises here: there is a tendency for the person with a high self-esteem to keep doing things which will boost her* self-esteem and the person with a low self-esteem will do things which will lower his*. I suppose that's why I write this series: to change the tendency for people to keep their current self-esteem and to boost everyone's self-esteem. I believe no matter where you are today, by reading these

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simple articles and doing some of the suggested assignments (whichever makes most sense to you -- we are each individuals with individual needs) you can boost your self-esteem.So whenever an event happens, think of the different meanings it might have and choose the most positive meaning. Choose the interpretation which would do the most to boost your self-esteem.Mullah Nasrudin story: In the days of the Mullah, there were no supermarkets and people had to take their own wheat to the miller to make flour and bake their own bread. One day the Mullah's wife sends him to the miller with a sack of wheat. There was a long line for the miller and the people had to wait. As they were waiting every now and then, Nasrudin would go over to somebody else's sack and take a fistful of grain and place it within his own bag. Each time the owner would ask, "What are you doing Mullah? Are you crazy?" The Mullah would reply, "I'm crazy. Been this way all my life." The complainer would have to keep his peace since in those days crazy people were considered fools of God and were protected by the law. By noon time everyone was fed up with the Mullah's antics. Someone shouted, "Mullah, if you are crazy why do you always take our grain? Why don't you sometimes take a fistful of your own and put it in our sacks?" Nasrudin smiled and answered, "I'm crazy. I'm not stupid."

Day 193:Boost your self-esteem by going with the wind until you

are strong enough....I parked the car in my favorite parking spot. I got out of the car and started walking in the direction I usually start my walks. The wind was too strong blowing in my face in that direction. It was a cold wind. I walked against the wind for a few yards and decided I would walk in the other direction. This gave me the idea for tonight's article. As I watching the sailing boats speeding by use of the wind but never going against the wind I thought about going with the wind. I was thinking about the importance of being like a supple sapling and bending with the wind. Whereas the might oak which never bends may eventually break in a storm. So far it seemed a reasonable advice. I continued walking fast and soon I was warmed up. Then I reached the end of my walk and turned back. The first part of the trip back was not too windy. When I got back to the car I reached the windy section of my walk. However, by now I was warmed up and could face the wind. As I was enjoying having the power to face the wind, I thought about the importance of at times bucking the trend and going against the wind. I thought of Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Mother Theresa and others who went against the wind with love and courage, and how they changed the world. At the same time most of us cannot be like these heroes. What we can do is to gather our energies for those occasions when we do need to go against the prevailing wind. Then once things are normal again go with the wind and gather your energies again for the next time.

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In this way you can achieve a huge amount and will certainly boost your self-esteem.

Day 194:Boost your self-esteem by remaining calm no matter

whatTo cut a long story short Murphy's law hit us at an inopportune moment. The question is what to do when things go wrong to boost your self-esteem and remain in control?The answer as usual is simple: keep calm no matter what. The problem is how to do these things? They are very easy to theorize and write about but may be more difficult to do in practice.As we approach our 200th session together, I would like to take this opportunity to write about the best uses of the series and how to boost your self-esteem no matter where you start.I'll use my own experience. I was lucky enough to be born with the most wonderful parents possible and I was unconditionally loved. I have been lucky most of my life and have a quite a high self-esteem. Even so, I have to work on my self-esteem every day. It is because I work on my self-esteem every day (especially when things are wonderful) that I can remain calm when things go wrong.So I would like to suggest to you give yourself a few minutes each day. Twenty minutes would be great. Forty minutes would be much better (twenty in the morning -- twenty at night). A single minute every day is a start (much better than none at all). Some people object that giving yourself some time is selfish. In fact the most altruistic thing you can do is to improve yourself as a human being. When you work on yourself, you make yourself a better person for all who depend on you. As you boost your self-esteem you become a better parent, sibling, spouse, child, employee, boss, friend, citizen and all the other roles that you play. So please for the sake of all others in your life take care of yourself. When you boost your self-esteem, you become a pillar of stability and unconditional love for all your environment. And remember the whole world is your physical environment and total universe is your spiritual universe.Over and over again I have emphasized individual difference. Some of these articles will work really well for you and others may not be ideal for you. Use the ones which make most sense to you. However, when you reject one of these 365 ways absolutely, you should perhaps take a second look as those things that you reject totally may be exactly what you need to boost your self-esteem.I suggest you go back to day one and if you have not made that list of your successes, do so. If you have, add to it and remember to keep reviewing the list of your success. The other thing which will help more than anything else is to use the affirmations of the type:

• "I approve myself" • "I like myself" • "I respect myself"

Believe me if you do not approve yourself you cannot in truth approve anyone. If

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you do not like yourself, you cannot really like anyone else. And what is your respect worth if you do not respect yourself. Many people with low self-esteem find the above three affirmations difficult to say. Please just do it. Say them a few times. I say "I approve myself" at least one hundred times a day. Like a muscle your self-esteem needs to be exercised. You need to work at it and as you boost your self-esteem it will be easier to do the exercises and you can do more.So as you spend some time on yourself each day, you'll boost your self-esteem, and will be able to face difficulties calmly which will in turn boost your self-esteem.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was using a rusted ace to cut a huge oak tree. A friend was passing by and saw that the Mullah was make no progress at all. At this rate it would take him years to chop the mighty tree down. He said, "Mullah, why don't you sharpen your ace?" The Mullah replied, "I can't afford the time. Must cut this tree by tomorrow." For more Mullah Nasrudin stories and other similar stories see:

Day 195:Boost your self-esteem by doing what you know is good

for youEarlier I suggested that you can boost your self-esteem when you listen to your own advice. Today I want to continue that theme. Deep down often we know the right things to do. The problem is not the lack of knowledge but the actual practice of the examined, good life.Thus when you do something which affects your life ask yourself if what you are doing is wise? I am not suggesting that you always do the most healthy thing. At times you do need to indulge yourself. Yesterday we had a barbecue party and we did eat more than is ideal. However, no doubt the fun we had of being with friends countered the overeating. But if you overeat each and every day soon your health and your self-esteem will go down. I had to go to the mall and I nearly tried to find the nearest parking spot and then I remembered one of the things I have been writing about in this series. That is the fact that you can do tiny things to improve your health. One of the things you can do is to park your car away from where you are going and at least walk those extra few yards. So I did that and walked a few extra yards. A few years ago scientists thought that only aerobic exercise was good for the heart. However, recent research has shown that even one or two minutes of extra exercise here and there add up to improve your health.Thus when you walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator, walk those few extra yards, put a dab less butter on your bread, have one fewer cheeseburger, you will improve your health and boost your self-esteem.So go ahead and do the right thing, improve your health, and boost your self-esteem.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

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NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was asked by a mother to tell her son off for eating too much sugar. The Mullah stroked his beard as he thought and asked the mother to come back in three weeks time. So the mother returned in three weeks time. The Mullah peered into the young boys eyes and said, "Son do not eat more than half an ounce of sugar. each day." The Mullah's voice was so stern that the boy said "Yes sir," in a way that was obvious to all that he would obey the advice. When the boy had left the room the mother asked, "How come we had to wait for three weeks?" The Mullah replied, "I myself used to suffer from this problem. I used to eat too much sugar. and I had to find out how little I could eat before I could tell your son what to do."At another time another mother brought her naughty son to be frightened by the Mullah into being good. The Mullah took the boy into his room and made a most frightening face as he said, "Boy listen to your mother." The frightened boy ran out of the room followed by the Mullah who looked terrified. When calm had returned someone asked Nasrudin why he ran out of the room? "Fright is a catching disease and when it comes affects all."

Day 196:Boost your self-esteem by understanding that real

beauty is inner beautyResearch has demonstrated over and over again that we treat beautiful people in special favorable ways. We think they are more intelligent. Teachers pay more attention to pretty children and give them better grades. The beautiful get better jobs and are promoted more often. Even in the case of our politicians we often vote with our eyes rather than with our brains.The above research is very interesting given that beauty is a social construct. What is considered beautiful changes from culture to culture and era to era. This is especially so today when the media, fashion industry and Madison Avenue decide what is beautiful on a nanosecond to nanosecond basis. These purveyors of unnatural artificially sculpted bodies promoted as paragons of beauty make most of us dissatisfied with our bodies.Body image dissatisfaction is today considered the norm in our society. It affects all groups of people without respecting gender, age or ethnicity. Very few Americans accept our-God given bodies as they are. We see women's magazines which sell us physical freaks as super models to be emulated by millions of anorexic ladies, and men's magazines which give our men a wrong impression of what is sexy by showing "enhanced" women with more silicon than in all the super computers in the world. Simultaneously, the fast food industry destroys the environment by clear-cutting the subtropical jungles to grow more beef to clog our arteries and make us even more obese. So we live in a superficial society ruled by media conglomerates, where we look at sick ultra-thin anorexic people as the beautiful and at the same time we put on more pounds on a daily basis. It is interesting to note the percentage of ladies having

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cosmetic surgery performed on their breasts is the same in the US and France. There is a great difference between the two societies and their social construct of what makes a sexy woman. In the US four out of five women have breast augmentation as their cosmetic enhancement. However, in France four out of five have breast reduction.To end this section on the arbitrariness of beauty is to consider that Marilyn Monroe, and Venus De Millo would be considered overweight by today's anorexic fashions. Also note that one hundred years ago today's super models might be displayed as freaks of nature in circuses.Enough of talking about the problem. Now the solution. This is extremely difficult but possible:Do not buy into it.Understand the only real beauty is inner beauty.My parents had a friend who was exceptionally plain. However, she was a most happy person and always had a smile and a loving caring disposition. From the distance her inner beauty was not obvious. When you got to know this wonderful compassionate human being you ended up actually seeing her as a most beautiful person. You would end up appreciating being with her much more than being with a supposedly beautiful person.Another story in the same vain is from when I was a young man. I felt jealous of two of my friends who would be with different very beautiful women all the time. One night I actually started talking to one of their girl friends. The girl's mind was quite empty. Soon I noticed that I was not interested in the type of women my friends went out with and I was no longer jealous.A last story about inner versus outer beauty comes from last years American Board of Hypnotherapy conference. We had a seminar on smoking cessation by an extremely rotund hypnotherapist. Someone asked him if he did weight reduction. When he said he was very successful in doing weight reduction in his practice, someone asked, "Don't people ask you how come you are so fat?" The lecturer smiled and replied congruently, "I don't have a weight problem. When a client comes to me for weight reduction, she has a weight problem." From the tone of his voice and body language it was obvious he had told the truth and he has no weight problem.So boost your self-esteem by accepting your body however it is. Once you accept yourself, you may improve your health by eating better foods and exercising more.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

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NamasteDay 197:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the 99 names of

GodThe Prophet Mohammad (peace and blessing of God* be upon him) is reported to have said, 'There are 99 names that are God's alone. Whoever learns, understands and enumerates them enters Paradise and achieves eternal salvation."The first name is Allah which has these five properties:

• He** is before the before. Always was. • He is after the after. Eternal. • He is unique and there is none like him. • He is the creator. • He is self existent, without any needs.

The next name of God is Ar-Rahman which means the Merciful. This mercy comes from a fineness of feeling, a pain and concern felt when one knows someone is in distress. Out of his mercy God has created all the creation without defect and blessed the creation with infinite bounty and blessings.The third name of God is Ar-Rahim which means the Compassionate. All compassion, caring, and giving comes from the Creator and belongs to all. It is best to be compassionate without showing off your compassion. Being kind, compassionate and giving is the cornerstone of Islam. It is very important to keep your compassion and generosity hidden especially from their recipients. Compare this with Matthew 6 where Jesus recommends that we be not like the hypocrites who pray in the temples (churches, God forbid Schools) but go into a closet and pray to our father alone in private. When you give, are kind and compassionate (and pray) without making a show of it, your inner self understands that you are doing it for yourself and you boost your self-esteem.The other 96 names include:

• Al-Ghaffar (the Forgiver). • Al-Wahhab (the Giver of all gifts). • Al-`Adl (the Just). • Al-Halim (Forbearing in the punishment of the guilty. He has the absolute

power and is just, but since he is compassionate, he prefers to pardon the guilty rather than punish).

• Al-Karim (the Generous, and his greatest generosity is his mercy). Every Surah (chapter) of the Koran starts with these words: "Bismillah Alrahman Alrahim." In the name of God the Merciful, the Compassionate. Showing that the mercy and compassion of God are his most important aspects and by far overwhelm his justice and punishment.The following story is told of the Prophet Mohammad:When people would visit the Prophet, they would bring him little gifts which he would share with his companions. One day a peasant brought eight cucumbers as gifts. Mohammad ate one and commented on how tasty it was and immediately ate a

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second without offering it to his companions. Again he thanked the peasant and commented on how good it tasted. One by one he ate the cucumbers without sharing a single one with anyone. Each time he would complement the peasant over his gift. After he had ate all eight cucumbers he blessed the peasant for his gift. When the peasant had left, one of the companions asked the Prophet what had it been all about. Mohammad explained that the cucumbers were the most bitter he had ever tasted and he had eaten them all since he was afraid that someone might comment on the bitterness and hurt the peasant's feelings.To me the above story exemplifies compassion. Recently in Texas they executed someone with a mental age of 12. Where I come from executing a 12 year old (or someone with a mental age of 12) is not compassion it is plain and simple murder....Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah spent all his days in prayer. His wife could hardly make ends meet and one day asked him to go and get a real job and make some money. The Mullah said, "Allah'O Akbar. (God is Great)" His wife chased him out of the house with her broom stick and screamed, "Then ask Allah to send you some money. I'll not let you back into the house until you get some money to buy us a good meal. The Mullah went the garden and pleaded with God loudly, "Please God help me. Every day I spend all day in prayer and now my wife wants me to go and earn money and buy her a meal." The miserly rich neighbor who was looking down into Nasrudin's garden from his rooftop decided to play a joke on the Mullah. He threw a bag with one hundred gold pieces into the Mullah's lap. The Mullah looked up into the heavens and thanked God for his generosity.When the neighbor saw all sorts of trades people bringing goods to the Mullah he rushed down to recover his gold. He told the Mullah about the joke but the Mullah would have none of it and kept saying that God had sent him the money for his piety. So the neighbor said he was going to sue the Mullah. The Mullah said this was unfair since the neighbor would be wearing good clothes, whereas the Mullah only had old shabby clothes and the judge would be influenced and give him the judgment. The neighbor wanting to shut him up agreed to change clothes so the Mullah would wear his best clothes. When they were about to leave for the court again the Mullah complained, "You'll be riding your fine horse but I only have this old donkey and this will bias the judge to your side." So reluctantly the neighbor agreed to change their steeds.So it was that the Mullah wearing his neighbors fine clothes and riding his best Arabian stallion arrived at the courthouse. First the neighbor told his story and how he had thrown his bag with one hundred gold pieces to the Mullah as a joke. The Qhazi (judge) listened carefully stroking his beard. Now it was Nasrudin's turn. He said, "Your honor, my neighbor is crazy. He thinks everything I own belongs to him. If you ask him, he'll say that even the clothes I wear and the horse I ride belong to him." The neighbor interrupted, "But your honor they do belong to me. Those are my clothes and that is my horse.""Case dismissed!"

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Day 198:Boost your self-esteem by being open minded

Early today I received an email criticizing yesterday's piece. There is nothing wrong with that. I don't think all of you are going to like every piece I write. The one problem was that the person was so turned off by the article that she refused to read the whole article which she thought was proselytizing. I was actually only trying to emphasize the need of being truly compassionate and caring for your fellow human beings in order to boost your self-esteem. That is neither here or there. I am ready to take a risk of not succeeding in my goals for each and every single one of these articles. That's the only way I can give you what I consider are reasonable articles. As I have mentioned before if you do not take risks you will not deliver your best but will lower your self-esteem. Remember that Babe Ruth not only had more home runs than anyone before but also had more strike outs.Back to the issue of being open minded, when you simply reject something because it turns you off, something within you understands that you are being inauthentic and to quote Nathaniel Brandon "you disown yourself". In order to boost your self-esteem go out of your way to consider things you reject and then reject them. That is if you are a republican go to a democratic rally and listen attentively. There might be something new that you agree with. If your are a democrat do the opposite or even better still go to a Green party or the other party (whatever it might have become by the time the courts have their say). Read articles you disagree with. Go to movies in genres you would not try. Listen to music of a type you do not appreciate. If you do not like classical music listen to Beethoven, Mozart, Bach and the other immortals. If you only listen to classical music try rap, heavy metal, or the immortals such as Dylan, Lennon, Hendrix.I remember the sixties, and as they say, if you remember the sixties you weren't there. I belonged to many different subcultures and refused to label myself. Some of my long haired friends were as bad as my professor friends. I used to argue with my so called hippy friends. Here were people who complained at the squares were judging them by their appearance and yet as soon as they saw someone who was wearing a suit and was not into their thing they would judge that person by his* appearance. I thought the idea was to judge people by what was inside and not by their exteriors. My well suited friends were no better. Whenever my uncle would visit England he would threaten and bribe me into cutting my hair shorter.Since then I hope I am a bit wiser and I now think that whereas you may discriminate and judge ideas it is best not to judge people but understand there is a spark of divine within all and unconditional love that spark of divine. This does not mean that you roll over and play dead and you let others walk over you. On the contrary when you approach each person out of unconditional love and compassion you may be assertive and demand your rights. The point is to demand your rights out of a space of unconditional love, compassion and being open minded.So go out of your way to consider things you would not normally consider and you will boost your self-esteem. Be open minded. The chances are that after considering the points of view of the other side you'll be even more sure of your original ideas. On the other hand at times you may learn something new and change your mind

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and grow. Either way you will be more authentic and will boost your self-esteem.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah woke up one night. There was raucous outside. He got out of his bed, wrapped himself in his blanket and rushed outside. He saw two drunks fighting each other. He approached them asking them to keep quite and stop fighting since it was the middle of the night. Suddenly one of the drunks grabbed the Mullah's blanket and ran away. So the Mullah returned to bed. His wife asked him what was going on. Nasrudin replied that they were fighting. His wife asked him what they were fighting about. He said, "Oh, they were fighting over my blanket since once they got that they stopped fighting and left."In Farsi we have a saying: "fighting over the Mullah's blanket" which comes from this story.For more Mullah Nasrudin stories and other similar stories see:Teaching Stories

Day 199:Boost your self-esteem by sharing your worries and

concernsWhen you keep your worries inside you have a double burden of both the problem and the fact that you are keeping a secret. However when you share your concerns (choose only positive optimistic people to share with) the weight lifts off and they might be able to suggest some solutions to your problem or be able to help.The reason I'm writing this is that yesterday I got my notice that the end of the month is going to be the end of my contract. They were very kind to me by giving me a reasonable notice. Consultants often get a day or two notice at most. My boss told me that he'll give me excellent reference. There are two other consultants at work who's contract is continuing. This kind of disturbed me since the work I'm doing is more important and I know I'm a better software engineer (my day job).The piece of information that my boss did not share with me is that the budget for all consultants ends at the end of the month and the budget for the other two comes from a different department since they are working on an old legacy product. I discovered this fact tonight when talking to the manager of a different department. The new facts changed the situation and I'll be working extra hard until the very last hour and if needs be I'll give them a few free hours to finish the immediate tasks at hand.When I got to think about the whole situation I came up with tonight's piece. Tell people the truth. Ask for their help without expecting them to say yes. You will be surprised how often they'll agree to help when they know the true situation. When they do agree to help that's another success for you to add to your list of successes. If they refuse to help you have lost nothing since you asked without expectation. In truth each time you merely ask you should count that in itself as a success no matter what the result.

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Reminds me of a salesperson who had to hear a huge numbers of no's before hearing a single yes. He was getting quite discouraged until he went to an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) breakthrough session. The NLP practitioner asked him on average how much commission he would make per sale. It worked out that he would make $500 per sale. The next question was on average how many people did he have to call upon to make a sale. The answer was 10. Next he was told that every time he heard someone rejecting his product he should smile and silently say to himself, "Thank you for the fifty dollars" The first month the sales person practiced this he doubled his commission.So share your worries and problems. Give others the full facts. Ask for help. You will succeed so much more and boost your self-esteem.

Day 200:Boost your self-esteem by being optimistic

I wanted to write about a specially useful method of boosting your self-esteem and achieving more for the 200th article in this series. I chose the topic of optimism since by seeing the glass half full and viewing the world through rosy glasses you end up boosting your self-esteem, tackling more challenging tasks, achieving more and improving your health and relationships.Recent medical studies have demonstrated that optimists among heart disease patients live longer than pessimists. Optimists are less likely to get cancer and are in general going to be healthier. In fact the more optimistic someone is at the age 20, the healthier she* will be at the age of 60.At this moment your optimism/pessimism is determined by your brain biochemistry and neuronal pathways. To put it another way it is determined by your genes and past physical, environmental, behavioral, and psychological conditioning. However, it is true that you cannot alter the past, the hopeful reality is that you have the free will to take action in the present and affect the future for the better.Here are a few techniques you may use to become more optimistic, boost your self-esteem and achieve more:

• Compare yourself with people who are worse off than you are. If you are an American citizen (or just live in the States) the chances are that you are financially better off than 80% of the world population. If you compare yourself with people who are better off than you, you are in a losing game, since the chances are that you are not Bill Gates. And in case you happen to be Bill Gates, chances are that you are not God. Reminds me of the person who was down and out without a job and thought she was badly off because she had no shoes until she saw a man with no feet. This boosted this lady's self-esteem and rather than feeling sorry for herself she ended up being altruistic and volunteered at the church and turned her life around becoming a civic leader.

• Reframe events to make the best out of them. There was a lady who was obsessive about cleaning her home and hated that her family would walk over her clean carpets. • Μιλτον Η. Εριχκσον , the father of American clinical hypnotherapy, cured her by suggesting that she sees her carpets beautiful and clean and this meant that she had lost all her family. Next he had her

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imagine her carpet with footmarks and let this symbolize the fact that she had her loving family around her.

• Use positive explanations for events. Thus when things go right explain the events as the norm and when things do not interpret these events as flukes. When you have successes accept the fact that you caused the successes and record these in your • λιστ οφ συχχεσσεσ . However, when things go wrong look for outside factors which caused the problem and ask yourself what can you learn from the event. Remember that • τηερε ισ νο συχη τηινγ ασ φαιλυρε βυτ ονλψ ρεσυλτσ.

• Use positive affirmations such as: "Life is wonderful;" "I am a beloved child of God;" "God is always a good God;" "I approve of myself;" "I like myself."

Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was ninety nine years old and in a few days was to celebrate his one hundredth birthday. A friend saw him planting some walnut trees. He said, "Mullah don't you know these trees won't bear any fruit for forty years?" "That soon?" replied Nasrudin!

Day 201:Boost your self-esteem by taking one step after another

toward your goalsI have mentioned this before. We had the idea of writing this series as a print book for more than two years before we started. The problem was that the task of writing 365 articles was just too much. A time came when we decided to write the book on the wen first. We decided to write a single article a day. This task was much more manageable and today we are on day 201.We have emphasized the importance on goal setting on boosting your self-esteem and achieving your desires. Written goals we wrote have the "magic" property of becoming true. We have suggested you rewrite your top five goals first thing in the morning. In order to make sure you succeed in reaching you goals it is best to divide each goal into sub-goals and then divide each sub-goals into small easily achieved steps. Now comes the most important thing you can do to reach your goal. Remember Lao Tsu's statement: "A journey of a thousand leagues starts with a single step." Therefore take that all important first step. And now continue taking one step after another.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was asked, "How do you eat an elephant?" "One byte at a time but make sure you have a big freezer."

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Day 202:Boost your self-esteem by understanding when you are

stressed and immediately reduce your stressWhen you are stressed and frustrated you are off balance as though with one leg up in the air. At these times it is so easy to lose one cool and metaphorically fall down. I know about this since this morning I did exactly that. I was already frustrated and then instead of stopping and resting then tackling the next problem I went ahead at time when I should have stopped calmed down did a brief meditation and then reviewed the situation.So do as I write and not as I did. The point here is that no matter how much theory you know, it is the practice of these techniques which actually make the difference. The other point is that one may forgive one's mistakes and learn from them. The learning from this morning's mistake is this article.Points to remember:

• When there is more stress, take on less and do more stress reduction. • Spend sometime each day for yourself and on yourself. The work is use of •

δεεπ βρεατηινγ , • σελφ−ηψπνοσισ and • µεδιτατιον to reduce effects of stress.

• Once a mistake has been made analyze and discover the best ways of avoiding the mistake in the future.

• Be easier on yourself and others. Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was was a cobbler and he was mending a pair of boots when he accidentally pricked his thumb with the huge leather piercing needle. He was in huge agony and angrily pricked his other thumb screaming from the double agony. The boots' owner who was watching asked, "Mullah, what are doing?" Nasrudin replied, "When I go to the dentist, hr tells me pinch my thumb to forget about the toothache."

Day 203:Boost your self-esteem by slowing down and observing

your surroundingsI was in a state of funk and went for a walking meditation. As I was walking I continued meditating and using my favorite mantram: "I thank God the giver for God the gift." Whenever I use this mantram everything becomes beautiful and I see a new perspective on the world. If all is a gift of God, all is a heavenly sight to behold.I suddenly noticed that as I was walking slower I was noticing things I had never noticed before even though I had walked this path more than a hundred times before. There was a cactus here with hundreds of fruits. There was an avocado tree

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there that I had never noticed and on top of that hill I saw a wild jasmine bush.As I was noticing all these new sights that I had seen hundreds of times before I came to the conclusion that we do things even leisure activities too fast concentrating on quantity rather than quality. So the suggestion for today is to slow down (at times -- we still live in this super fast paced world) and notice your surroundings.As you notice new things you had never noticed before you open up new pathways and vistas in your neural pathways. This improves your creativity and hence you have more success so you boost your self-esteem. Thus through the law of reversed effects, slowing down at times means you'll achieve more.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah's wife was washing their clothes in the stream. She was happy that today she had a piece of soap as well as the stick she used to pound the clothes clean. In those days soap was rare and very precious. The previous day Nasrudin had managed to make an excellent deal in the bazaar and he had bought the piece of soap for his wife as a gift. Just as the Mullah's wife started using the soap a crow swept down from the tree branch and stole the soap and flew away. Mullah's wife screamed, "Come back you thief." The Mullah who was nearby heard his wife's pleas and ran to the stream. "What happened," he asked. His wife pointed to the crow, "He stole my soap." The Mullah was angry at first and then noting the colour of the crow said, "I don't think we have any clothes that black. He needs the soap much more than we do. Halalesh basheh**."** Halalesh basheh is a Farsi saying meaning I give it to him freely. We often use it about people who might have taken something from us and we think they might deserve it more than we do or knowing that we can never get a loan back we free forgive the person of the obligation.

Day 204:Boost your self-esteem by accepting that there is a time

and season for everythingYesterday I was in a state of funk and went for a walking meditation. I wrote about the walk in yesterday's piece. As I was walking I thought of two ideas. One was about slowing down. The second is the topic of today's piece. I have mentioned many times that one of the most important things you can do to boost your self-esteem and start positive change is to accept whatever is. This is another side of the same coin (in the realm of self-esteem and spirituality coins have often more than two sides).The idea is that to everything there is a time and a season. This is the philosophy espoused by the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible and the philosophy of I Ching. I'll write at another time more about the I Ching which has been my constant companion for more than thirty years. For now the point is that there is nothing wrong with any feeling. All things are good when in time and not so good when out of time.

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Thus there is a time for joy and laughter and a time for sadness. There is a time to exercise and a time to rest. A time to drive fast and a time to be stuck in the traffic jam. This last example can explain what I mean by things being in time or out of time. If you tried to drive fast when in a traffic jam you may get a ticket or have an accident. However if you drive at 50 miles in a German Autobahn the chances are that you'll be stopped by the police for driving too slowly and if you are really unlucky someone may take a potshot at you (it has actually happened in Germany where angry motorists have shot others for driving slowly in the fast lane -- say 100 M.P.H.). So if you feel sad for no reason at all don't fight it. Perhaps this is the time to be sad. It is interesting how by accepting whatever is the stings and arrows of outrageous fortune diminish and there is at times no need to take up arms (with apologies to William Shakespeare). Thus Gandhi managed to overcome the might of the British empire. Thus Martin Luther King managed to start us on our way toward equality. When we do not resist internal or external forces we disarm them and increase our self-worth and boost our self-esteem.So accept whatever is. Get in tune for the needs of the time. Understand that there are times for advancing and times for strategic withdrawals (retreat). After a great advance it may be time to rest and hold onto the gains and restore your energies before the next advance. Be in time and boost your self-esteem.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:Actually I am cheating. Many Mullah Nasrudin stories are from Rumi with the main character changed to the Mullah. Today I'm going to give you a story directly from Rumi (I've modernized the dialogue).

It's my essence.....A scorpion asked a frog to carry him to the other side of the pond. The frog said, "What do you take me for. I'm a frog and you are a scorpion. Scorpions sting frogs." The scorpion answered him, "I'm no fool. I'll be on you back. If I sting you. We'll both sink and I'll die. Be assured I'll not sting you." The frog thought for a little and noticed the logic of the scorpion's statement. So he said, "Hop on. I'll take you to the other side, but you owe me." "Sure thing, Jack," replied the happy scorpion.So it was that the frog carried the scorpion toward the other side of the pond. When they were dead center of the pond the frog felt a deep pain in his back. He had been stung. As he was losing consciousness he said with his last breath, "You fool. What madness is this. Don't you see we are both doomed?" The sad scorpion replied, "You are right. We are both doomed. Alas I'm a scorpion. I cannot help myself. It's my essence to sting...."

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Day 205:Boost your self-esteem by taking responsibility for your

actionsThis is such an integral part of boosting your self-esteem that I had taken it for granted and forgotten about it. So let's define the term responsibility. When I write responsibility the first meaning I have is the ability to respond to whatever happens to us as a result of our actions. I have a red sports car and enjoy driving fast at times. I am careful and look in my mirror but the chances are that sooner or later I might get a speeding ticket. If that happens, I'll accept it lovingly. This is a minor example of taking responsibility. Another choice is to swear at one's bad luck or think that the CHP signaled you out or come up with some other lame excuse. An interesting point is that the fact that I take full responsibility for my choices (buying a red sports car -- driving fast) in fact ends up making me think about my driving habits more and I drive slower than otherwise and look in my mirrors more often so the chances are that this very fact reduces my chances of getting a ticket.Abraham Lincoln said, "You can fool some of the people some of the time, and you can fool some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time." I don't think you can fool your Spirit* any of the time. Whenever you are inauthentic your Self* understands this and your self-esteem will suffer. Thus when you take responsibility and find solutions to the problem at hand (if I get a speeding ticket I'll go to traffic school and slow down for the next eighteen months) rather than spreading blame.On the other hand when you refuse to accept responsibility you get into a blame game and cause reaction against you and the situation can easily escalate. Actually accepting responsibility is another side of the "accept whatever is" coin. So be responsible for all that happens to you and look for solutions to problems and boost your self-esteem.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was digging a grave in the cemetery outside the village when he saw a number of riders approaching at a fast pace. The Mullah's imagination got the better of him and he thought these were a gang of cutthroat bandits who roamed the countryside. So he jumped into the open grave he was digging. In the distance the riders who were in fact honest merchants saw a Mullah with his cloak and turban jump into an open grave. They were curious and changed their direction to discover what lay behind such odd behavior. When they got tot the grave, they asked the Mullah, "Why are you in there?" Nasrudin ever ready answered, "It depends how you look at it. I am here because of you and you are here because of me.".

Day 206:Boost your self-esteem by treating eating as sacrament

I went for my evening walking meditation hoping to come up with an idea for

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today's article. It was an extremely scattered meditation with my mind moving from one topic to the next. When you meditate it is important to let it be. That is if an extraneous thought intrudes, observe and note, "An extraneous thought.... Interesting...." And then let go of it. In this way the effect of the thoughts diminish through acceptance and nonresistance. However, if try to resist and stop the thoughts, they will persist and feed on your resistance and soon you'll stop meditating. So while I was walking my mind was flitting from one idea to the next and never coming up with the topic for today. I took the path of acceptance and in fact may have got many ideas for future articles but none for today's. So I gave up searching for this topic and gave my unconscious mind a command to have the idea ready for me by the time I sat behind the computer to type this piece. When I got home I made myself a sprout and nut salad and thanked the Spirit and started to eat slowly. The food, which was very simple and plain, tasted heavenly. As I was in a state of semi-ecstasy I started thanking God. This attitude of gratitude made the food taste even better. I have already mentioned that when you appreciate something its value appreciates and this is a lynch pin in boosting your self-esteem. As I was enjoying the food I thought of Native Americans and other so called primitive people and how their relationship with food is so much better than our sophisticated ways. When the Native American would hunt, kill, and finally eat their brother the buffalo, they would have love and respect for the beast and they would thank the spirit of the animal for providing them with nourishment. If they knew the way we treat our animals in our factory farms -- jam packed together so they cannot move, being forced to eat each other's feces, and being pumped with antibiotics to keep them from being sick thanks to the unhygienic conditions and drugged by growth hormones to become meat and milk producing machines -- they would think us absolute uncompassionate savages.I am mostly vegetarian and attempt when eating meat whenever possible to find meat grown in open range but that's not always possible. However, tonight I was eating only plant life. I got into tune with the plant life, especially since most of what I was eating was sprouted legumes. Here the newborn plant life was transferring its life force to me. I developed a sense of awe and reverence. I thanked the plants I was eating. This communion between the eater and the ate made the food taste even better and I suppose this became a case of eating meditation which calmed my mind, and nourished my soul and spirit as well as my body and boosted my self-esteem.It would be wonderful if we could always eat in a deliberate conscious way and like the traditional French cousin we would have "slow food" instead of fast food. However, we do live in a fast paced world. So all I suggest is that at times slow down and really get into the spirit of your food. Thank both God and the living being which gave its life and soul for you. Enjoy the food as a respect to the Spirit* and as a sacrament and in doing so boost your self-esteem.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

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NamasteDay 207:

Boost your self-esteem by not taking yourself too seriously

Having a good sense of humor is a great indication of high self-esteem. When you can laugh at yourself in a simple loving way you really have a great self-esteem. I am not writing about laughing at yourself in a destructive derisive way but in a sympathetic compassionate way. Basically the best way of putting it is as above: "Don't take yourself (or life) too seriously". At another time I recommended taking yourself seriously in order to boost your self-esteem. In reality there is no conflict here.Life is a game (the most serious game you play -- yet it is a game). When you play a game it is no fun if all the time you say to yourself, "It's only a game." So you play the game in a serious manner. However, every now and then you remember (hopefully) that it is a game.Unfortunately here in the States we even take our games miles too seriously. I was raised in England at a time when it truly did not matter whether you won or lost but the way you played the game was important. Unfortunately here we have a culture of winner take all and winning being the only thing. Well gee whiz that's a bloody awful way to live and it sure is not cricket or rugby or even football (soccer). The point is that when winning becomes everything everyone suffers and no one has fun. Believe it not, no matter how good a person or a team is, sooner or later, we all have times when we lose and if winning is everything, then we are all losers.

ButIf we do not take ourselves so seriously....If the journey becomes the important thing....If it is how you play the game....

We can have fun....We can be sure of ourselves with a good sense of humor. We can take life easy while being more successful. We can happily achieve more. The interesting paradox is that when we are less competitive and we are more cooperative, we win more often. I have previously mentioned a research study that showed that perfectionist salespersons worked harder for less commission than those who took life easier. Here we have the same principle and those who take themselves less seriously in fact achieve more and have a much higher self-esteem.Reminds me of one of my professors, Sir Ernst B. Chain, who won the Nobel prize (with Alexander Fleming and Howard Florey) for the discovery and isolation of penicillin. My professor once told me, "Winning the Nobel prize is in reality nothing that important," then he smiled and winked at me and said, "But you better have one before you can say that." I call that not taking yourself too seriously.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

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NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was earning his living by running a ferry across a lake. He was taking a pompous scholar to the other side. The scholar asked the Mullah, "When will we reach the other side?" The Mullah replied, "I aint got no watch." The pedant said is a disgusted voice, "It's I have not a watch. Don't you know any grammar?" Nasrudin replied, "I'm a simple man. What would I do with grammar?" The grammarian snickered (a la George W. Bush), "Then my good fellow half of your life's been wasted." The poor Mullah felt ashamed and angry but held his peace. A few minutes went by and the Mullah asked the scholar, "Do you know how to swim?" "I am a great scholar. Why would I know how to swim," huffed the pedant. "In that case the whole of you life's been wasted," smiled the Mullah as he pointed to the nearing storm. "We're sinking."

Day 208:Boost your self-esteem by accepting a state of confusion

When we are learning something new often there is a time when get that "aha" feeling. At last we got it. Just before understanding comes there is a state of confusion. Allow this to be a sign that when you are confused you are in fact learning something new. Relax and accept your confusion and you will learn faster and boost your self-esteem.Memory and learning works by association, similarities, differences and contrasts. The more time you spend learning new things, the more often you will be confused and then get that victorious "Aha' feeling. I have mentioned that the brain is like a muscle and needs be exercised. I suppose the biggest difference is that the brain needs only minor rest to recuperate and basically the more you use it the stronger it becomes. A study on aging and senility and Alzheimer's (performed on a group of nuns -- thank you ladies for your help) has shown that old people can learn new things and when they do their brains remain younger.So no matter how young or old you are learn something new everyday. Perhaps you would care to learn a new word or two each day, or you could learn another language or read a few pages of a good book. The choices are endless. The result is definite. You'll improve your brain's capacity to learn and boost your self-esteem. You'll achieve more and have more fun at the same time.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today:The Mullah was teaching a group of rowdy eleven year old. In order to quite them down he posed this puzzle to them. He said, "Two bulls were following each other across a narrow bridge. A dog ran onto the bridge from the other side. The barking dog frightened the front bull which stopped suddenly. The second bull ran into the first and his horns went into the rear of the first. Now tell me which one can say I have horns and a tail at the same side of my body?" One kid said, "The front one."

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"That's not right," said the Mullah. "I know," said another, "it's the second one." Nasrudin shook his head. A third boy said, "Both of them can say that. It's so obvious." The Mullah said, "Wrong answer." The children eventually gave up.Do you know the right answer?Come back tomorrow for the answer.....For more Mullah Nasrudin stories (including another version of the above story) and other similar stories see:

Day 209:Boost your self-esteem by surprising yourself

I didn't know what to write so I surprised myself with this title and now I have to come up with something to write about it. Yesterday I mentioned that when you are confused you are in fact learning new things. This is a corollary of the above since when you surprise yourself you are growing. You can surprise yourself by doing something you have never attempted before. Perhaps you go bungee jumping even though you are scared of heights. Or maybe you decide to learn a new language.Perhaps you surprise yourself by doing something extra kind or brave. Stretch your horizons. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Your self-esteem will go up and you'll manage to achieve more and will be able to surprise yourself even more. Thus you get into a positive cycle of more success leading to higher self-esteem leading to yet more success.So what can you do to surprise yourself? Here are some ideas:

• Take risks. • Accept challenges. • Be enthusiastic. • Be optimistic. • Be spontaneous. • When in doubt toss a coin to decide which way to go -- a great way to decide

is to toss a coin but do not look at the answer. Now ask yourself what would you like the coin to say? Now without looking at the coin do whichever way you wanted to happen.

Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteMullah Nasrudin story for today (yesterday's story with answer to the puzzle):The Mullah was teaching a group of rowdy eleven year old. In order to quite them down he posed this puzzle to them. He said, "Two bulls were following each other across a narrow bridge. A dog ran onto the bridge from the other side. The barking dog frightened the front bull which stopped suddenly. The second bull ran into the first and his horns went into the rear of the first. Now tell me which one can say I have horns and a tail at the same side of my body?" One kid said, "The front one." "That's not right," said the Mullah. "I know," said another, "it's the second one." Nasrudin shook his head. A third boy said, "Both of them can say that. It's so obvious." The Mullah said, "Wrong answer." The children eventually gave up.The Mullah finally smiled and said "Neither, bulls cannot speak."

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Day 210:Boost your self-esteem by understanding that there are

plateau periods on the way upWhen you are learning something new, at the beginning progress appears impossible. Then comes a stage when we learn things quickly. The next phase is a plateau stage when we consolidate the gains and get ready for the next growth phase.The same pattern is true of all progress. Thus when you start a weight reduction regime, at first your weight will hardly go down. Then weight reduction becomes easy. The next phase is very important. If you try to continue at the same rate without consolidation of the weight reduction eventually your body will rebel and you will enter the yo-yo syndrome and your weight will shoot up. However, if you reduce your weight slowly and consolidate that weight reduction before going to the next phase, you can sustain the weight reduction and reach your ideal weight.So understanding this law of progress, build consolidation phases and plateau periods in your plans for the future. We have written about goal setting. Here we suggest you plan for ups and downs in the rout to your goals. When you understand that there are plateau periods on the way up, you can accept them and cherish them and thus you'll achieve more and boost your self-esteem.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

NamasteDay 211:

Boost your self-esteem by fasting for a dayFirst a caveat: please contact your physician before doing any fast. Whereas most people can easily cope with a single day water of juice fast each person is an individual and fasts of any kind may be counter-indicated for some people.Second caveat: fasts are not for weight reduction. In fact fasts maybe the worse possible thing you may do for weight reduction.OK so why should you fast? Fasting has many advantages. Here are some:

• Cleanses the digestive tract. • Detoxifies the body. • Exercises will power. • Brings about empathy and compassion for the hungry in the world. • Sharpens the mind. • Is great for the soul. • May be used as a communion with the Spirit. • Long term fasts (longer then five days for me) give you a natural high -- it is

even more important to check with your physician about long term (longer than 12 hours) fasts.

How should you do the fast?

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Start the day with prayer, meditation, self-hypnosis or something similar. Drink plenty of liquids. Some people like drink juices (fruit and vegetable juices). I drink water and tea (green or herb). There is a herb tea called fasting tea which I sometimes use. Relax during your fast. You can go to work. Just do not get into conflicts. Project love and peace while you are having your fast.How should you break the fast?Very slowly and with tiny portions. On end of long fasts (three days or more) I do an eating meditation which entails eating very slowly and consciously. I have previously mentioned how you may boost your self-esteem by treating eating as sacrament. Basically I start with rolling a single raisin in my hand. I examine it carefully. I see how it feels as I roll it between my fingers. I smell it. I thank the Spirit for the nourishment provided and after a couple of minutes of concentrating on the single raisin I chew it thoroughly concentrating on the taste. After chewing for about a minute, I swallow slowly feeling the bits of chewed raisin going down my throat. Then I may start with another raisin or a single nut or a piece of a vegetable Altogether I take a long time eating the first few pieces of the food, keeping in contact with the spiritual purpose of the fast. I also donate the money I would have spent on food to a food charity. To me this is an integral part of the fast.Another good way to break the fast is by eating a thin soup as the starter. Again it is important to eat slowly at first so you give your digestive tract time to get used to eating again.When you fast not only you improve your health but also by controlling your body and increasing your will power (by exercising it) you boost your self-esteem and lay down foundations to future success and achievement. After all when you can decide to fast and do it, what else can you decide to do and succeed in doing so.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 212:Boost your self-esteem by reading these quotes

I have chosen some quotes designed to boost your self-esteem. Read these quotes slowly. Savor them and allow them to act on your unconscious mind as well as your conscious mind. Think about the topics here. Finally take advice from these giants of persons and boost your self-esteem and increase your success.

• All things are possible to one who believes -- Saint Bernard of Clairvaux. • You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you

really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." -- Eleanor Roosevelt.

• It is by believing in roses that one brings them to bloom-- French proverb. • The wise man in the storm prays God, not for safety from danger, but for

deliverance from fear. It is the storm within which endangers him, not the storm without -- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

• Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies -- Aristotle. • The are able because they think they are able -- Virgil. • Fire is the test of gold; adversity, of strong men -- Seneca.

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• Anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one -- Benjamin Franklin.

• No man is happy unless he believes he is -- Publius Syrus. • If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is a part of yourself.

What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us -- Hermann Hesse. • Great hopes make great men -- Thomas Fuller. • Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration --

Thomas Edison. • Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right -- Henry

Ford. • In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two. --

Erick Fromm. • You are spirits though you move in bodies; and like oil that burns in the

dark, you are flames though held in lamps -- Kahlil Gibran. • Without work, all life goes rotten -- but when work is soulless, life stifles and

dies -- Albert Camus. • The quality of mercy is not strained: It droppeth as the gentle rain from

heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed -- it blesseth him that gives, and him that takes -- William Shakespeare.

• To be a human is, precisely, to be responsible -- Antoine de Sain-Exupery. • There is a God within each breast -- Ovid.

Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 213:Boost your self-esteem by celebrating and

acknowledging the end as well as beginning of thingsWe typically celebrate the beginning of something new. When we get a new job or a new car we acknowledge and celebrate. However when things end we tend not to spend enough time acknowledging the ending. With any ending we are of two hearts. Let's say we bought a new car and traded the old one in. We may be glad that we no longer have that car which by now has become old and decrepit. At the same time if the car has served us well (and perhaps even if it was a lemon) we have good memories associated with car. One of the principles of this series is that when we are inauthentic and lie to ourselves, our self-esteem goes down. However, when we tell ourselves the total multifaceted truth our self-esteem goes up.Yesterday was the last day of my current contract. I had to acknowledge that I am glad to be out of that contract since the management had recently taken some major wrong turns. At the same time I'll miss all my friends at that job. I also am slightly anxious since I am not earning any money just now. I wonder how long it will take me to get a new contract. I am exited by the challenge of new job. I look forward to meeting new people and making new friends. I am happy to be able to rest for a day or so before spending my time on this and other web sites. I look forward to working at home for a while. I am concerned that it might be too long a while....The list goes on and on. The point I was making by the above example is that our

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feelings to events are multifaceted and the more conscious we are of all our feelings, the better we can react to events (be responsible -- able to respond) and boost or self-esteem. I recommend increasing your consciousness in order to boost your self-esteem. Unless you are a Zen master or someone similar, you are going to go through most of your life on autopilot being pretty unconscious of the multifaceted underlying truth about yourself. However, it is important to sit down and spend sometime discovering the truth and becoming conscious at beginnings and ends.A method of becoming more conscious:

Ask yourself, "What makes me happy about this situation?" Repeat step 1 until you run out of answers. Ask yourself, "What makes me sad about this situation?" Repeat step 3 until you run out of answers. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this situation?" Repeat step 5 until you run out of answers. Now go back to step 1 and loop until no new answers come.

So acknowledge and celebrate the endings as well as the beginnings and boost your self-esteem.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 214:Boost your self-esteem by making yourself look good

when you have an important telephone callTwo days ago my current contract was over and I need to find a new contract (my day job I'm a software engineering consultant). Yesterday I rested after a nine month contract and staying up most nights until midnight writing these article. So earlier today my beard was unshaven and I was in my shorts.I just concluded a very successful interview. In order to get ready for the interview I had a bath and then shaved and and brushed my hair and put on some decent clothes. By now you are thinking to yourself, "Javad, stop telling us the obvious".However, this was a phone interview.Now you may be thinking that I am quite crazy for suggesting that you dress up when making that special phone call, but the fact is that when you look good, you feel good and when you feel good your are more confident and so you sound better. It is all logical. That's why I recommend you always look after yourself no matter what. Now I'm not saying you always need be dressed in your Sunday best. After all I did not shave yesterday and that was a way of celebrating and acknowledging the end of the last contract.Too often when we feel down and depressed we let our looks go. We wear our worst clothes and do not groom ourselves (actually this is also true of laboratory rats -- but hopefully we are more than lab rats we can chose to change) and our self-esteem plummets. At these times when we need friends, we avoid them. Eventually we have enough of this phase and we snap out of it (hopefully). What I have been suggesting for the last 214 days is that we can consciously take action and by controlling our physiology, thoughts, and environment we can boost our self-esteem and when we

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have problems heal our psyche faster and recover.So next time you have that important phone call to make, dress up for it. Give a huge smile (after all no one can see you) and you'll be surprised how much better you'll sound and how your phone call will be more successful thus boosting your self-esteem.By the way I won the actual interview. It's next Friday.Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 215:Boost your self-esteem by preparing for the unexpected

Many years ago I used to be a TV director in Iran. I had been trained in England by the BBC. In England everything was just right and preplanning was emphasized. In Iran there was a chaos and the equipment kept breaking down. Cameramen would go for an hour lunch not to be found three hours later. What I learned to do was to pre-plan even more. I had to plan for any and all eventualities. By planning for all possibilities and being ready to do whatever it took I managed to get my programs in the can by the end of the day.I was thinking about this the last few days as I am getting prepared in finding a new job. I am reading all the necessary books and doing everything to get ready for each interview. In general I'm an exceedingly lucky person and I thank God everyday for my luck. However, I agree with the person who said, "Luck comes to whoever is prepared."When you are prepared for all eventualities you are ready to exploit opportunities as they arise and at the same time you can cope with any problems.When preparing look at all sides of the situation. Even go outside the apparent criteria of what you are looking at in order to be really ready. What I mean can be exemplified by my preparation yesterday for my phone interview. I knew the company was involved in Internet security. I read all about computer security. I did not only read about the technology but also read about the history of the field. As it happens the only question about this field that came up I managed to answer thanks to the history part that I had studied earlier on. One could say that this was outside the actual criteria which was the mathematics involved.So go ahead and make your own luck by preparing and boost your self-esteem. It reminds me of the little boy who asks a New York policeman, "Please sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall." The old wizened cop replies, "Practice, practice, practice." He could have just as easily said, "Prepare, prepare, prepare."

Day 216:Boost your self-esteem by holding your hands up high in

life's roller coaster Today we went to Magic Mountain (a local amusement park). We went for a ride on Goliath the new "superduper" coaster. As we went eighteen stories up I decided to just keep my hands high up in the air no matter what. At first it was difficult but I did manage to hold my hands high up in the air. It was great fun and as I had to

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fight against the G-forces I had no time to get scared. Thrilled, yes I was but not scared. Immediately I knew the topic for today's article.Life is full of ups and downs. That's one of the things which keeps it interesting. The question was what is the equivalent of holding your hands up high on the roller coaster of life? As we drove home the two of us were thinking of the different meanings of this metaphor.Elaine reminded me that many cultures hold their hands up when they pray. So one of the meanings of this metaphor. is to always have an attitude of faith in the ultimate goodness of the universe. As Albert Einstein said, "The biggest question for humanity is: is the universe a friendly place?" I believe the answer to the question must be always answered in the affirmative at every instant one's life. That's one way of holding your hands up high in the roller coaster of life.Another idea we had was to have fun on the journey of life no matter what is going on. Remain in the moment and accept what is going on. You can thus cope with the ups and downs better. Stay in the here and now and have fun no matter what is going on around you and your life will improve and you'll be able to cope so much better.A final idea was from Iranian dancing where Elaine was mentioning that one expresses oneself by elevating the arms. Once more the idea came to us that be ready to tackle the new and have fun while remaining in the present moment.You think for yourself about what the metaphor. means to you. Think about these words: "When on the roller coaster of life, keep your hands up high and you'll enjoy life so much more while being less afraid." Do this and boost your self-esteem.

Day 217:Boost your self-esteem by celebrating labor day

Today is labor day and we celebrate the work that our fellow citizens do. Since I mainly work with my head I want to celebrate those who work with their hands:There is something magical about working with your hands that may totally transform your life if you have the right attitude. I am reminded of three masons who were cutting stones in the middle ages. Someone asked them what they were doing. The first one replied, "I am doing a job, so I can earn a few pennies, so I can feed my wife, my children and myself." The second one said, "I am cutting these stones so we may build a most wonderful building." The last one said, "We are building this marvelous cathedral for the glory of God, so men can commune and pray together." It is the attitude of the last worker which you should emulate in order to boost your self-esteem.Both of my parents worked with their hands. My father was a OBGYN and my mother was a midwife between them they delivered more than twenty thousand children over a thirty year period. When my father retired he continued working with his hands by creating some exquisite gardens in Tehran and on the Caspian sea. Gardening is one avenue of working with your hands which is available to all people. Even if you live in a small apartment in a large city, you can have a little herb garden that you may tend.In my day job I am a software engineer and I work mainly with my mind and try my best to keep away from the hardware. There is an old joke, "How man software

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engineers does it take to change a light bulb?" The answer is, "None, it's a hardware problem." At work, I am mostly that type of software engineer. I work hand in hand with hardware engineers leaving the actual physical work to them. However, at home every now and then I build a computer from the parts and I do most of the hardware work myself. I always get a wonderful feeling when a computer that I have built myself comes up for the first time.If you work with your hands every day, I want to suggest that you spend some time working with your head. It does not matter what you do. You can play scrabble, read some philosophy books, or solve a crossword puzzle. The real issue for today is to boost your self-esteem by balancing your life.

Day 218:Boost your self-esteem by climbing a hill

Note even though I actually did climb a hill, I'm more interested in hill climbing as a metaphor for reaching a difficult goal. I am writing about hills as challenges which help you boost your self-esteem. At the same time climbing physical hills (if you can do it -- after checking with your physician) can be great fun and do your self-esteem huge amount of good.I just returned from climbing the highest hill in the vicinity. From this peak I had an excellent 360 degree view. I could see Catalina Island about 60 miles away. The ocean itself was hidden under a haze but the Catalina hills in the distance were visible through the mist. It really felt so good to be so high above the surrounding valleys. At this moment I came up with the theme for today's piece.When choosing to go up a hill and reach the top, you have selected a goal and decide to go for it. Perhaps you will not reach that peak the very first time you try but if you persist you'll eventually make it to that peak. Again thinking about it both as physically climbing hills (good for the body/mind/soul/spirit) and the metaphor of tackling a major challenge, you may need to practice before managing to reach that peak. Slowly build up your strength. Each day do a little more. Each day with practice you'll find that you can reach the same point on the hill with less effort and you can go up further.Eventually you get to the top. Enjoy it. Look around. Feel on top of the world. Now comes a very difficult task of going down. After reaching the peak there is the let down of having to go down back into the valley. In Zen mysticism there is a saying, "Before enlightenment, carry water, wash dishes.... After enlightenment, carry water, wash dishes...." Thus after reaching the heights you return back to your normal life keeping the memory of having been there. In order to boost your self-esteem, appreciate the journey as much as the destination. Appreciate and enjoy the going up and returning back as much as the view at the peak.

Day 219:Boost your self-esteem by forgiving yourself

Today has not been a good day for me. All day I have been anxious for no apparent reason. Later I felt down. I used most of my repertoire of tools to make myself feel

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good. No matter what I did nothing would really work. So I changed my tactics. I decided to accept that this was a down day and forgive myself for not being able to get out of the state of funk. As soon as I did this I felt a bit better.I started with something I have recommended many times before: "Accept whatever is." The next step continues the acceptance by not feeling guilty about feeling bad. It is very easy to enter a vicious cycle where you feel bad for some reason (it could easily be you brain physiology caused by something you ate or biological cycles) now you have the unreasonable rule that you must always feel good. So you feel worse because there's nothing you can do to feel better.However, when you accept what is and forgive yourself you stop the situation getting any worse. In fact you may even appreciate the feeling down since that is the best state for you to be at this very moment. In this manner you can raise your self-esteem even though you are not feeling happy.You may also boost your self-esteem by forgiving yourself whenever else you feel guilty. Now I'm not suggesting that you have no conscience. I am suggesting you allow your conscience act before doing anything. Later learn from the results of your actions. Feeling guilty is not going to restore things back to the previous state. In fact for some people feeling guilty is self-indulgence and allows them to repeat the same mistakes over and over again since they have paid for their sins through feeling guilty. I used the word sin on purpose. Think of sin in its original meaning. Sin is derived from a Greek archery term. When the archers would miss their target they would be sinning. The sin was an indication of being off the mark. They would change their aim and hopefully be nearer to the mark.In this vain it is good to remember the words of Jesus when he said, "Let he among you who is sinless throw the first stone...." And later he continued, "Go and sin no more...." So learn from Jesus and forgive yourself, learn the lessons from your sin (mistake) and go and sin no more (do not repeat the same mistake over and over again).So forgive yourself and learn from the past and boost your self-esteem.

Day 220:Boost your self-esteem by examining these fragments

from the writings of EpictetusEpictetus was a Greek slave living in the first century CE*. The interesting thing is that even though Epictetus was a slave he was one of the most free individuals in history of human beings. Here are some of his writings (my paraphrase):

• Great is God for giving us a mind. Use your reason and thus praise God. • Try to enjoy the great festival of life with others. • • Αχχεπτ ωηατεϖερ ισ -- once more we repeat one of the most important

aspects of boosting your self-esteem. • When you eat be moderate, happy, and deliberate (eat slowly and appreciate

the food). • Think of God more often than you breath. • The quality of life is more important the quantity -- he actually said, "Give

me a life that's shorter and nobler, rather than one longer but of less

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account." • Freedom is the name of virtue: Slavery, of vice.... None is a slave whose acts

are free. • No man is free who is not master of himself. • A ship should not ride on a single anchor, nor life on a single hope. • Nature has given men one tongue but two ears, that we may hear from others

twice as much as we speak -- I did not know that Epictetus was the originator of this famous saying.

• If a person has internal peace, no evil can befall her**. • Feed both your body and soul. What you feed your mind you soon lose. What

you give your soul remains with you for ever. • Remember at all times that you are mortal and thus let go of all mean

thoughts and do not covet things.

Day 221:Boost your self-esteem by examining these fragments

from the writings of Marcus AureliusYesterday I wrote about the writings of Epictetus who was a Greek slave living in the first century CE*. The interesting thing is that even though Epictetus was a slave he was one of the most free individuals in history of human beings. Today we move to his counter part the Roman Emperor, the mighty Caesar, Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius was born in Rome, 121 CE*. He ruled the Roman Empire from 161 till his death in 180. Someone once wrote, "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Here we had a person who was not corrupted by his absolute power. At a time when most Roman rulers were slaves to their passions (Nero and Caligula come to mind but most of the rest were not that much better) here was a free human being. So we have two free beings. One Epictetus was nominally a slave and the other Marcus Aurelius was the most powerful person in the known world (looking at it from a highly Eurocentric point of view -- but you get my drift). Yet both these two were free human beings, which is something exceptionally rare.I suppose one my quests for myself and you is to increase our true freedom. That is true self-esteem when you do something because you want to and not because of your passions, conditioning, culture, society, the advertisers, big business, government, your parents, the neighbors..... The emotions, people, things and elements which make us slaves are legion. Every step we take to become free will boost our self-esteem. Each time we take an authentic action we boost our self-esteem. Each time we remember our true Self (our Spirit, the spark of divinity within) we boost our self-esteem.Here are some the writings of Marcus Aurelius (my paraphrase) -- enjoy:

• Look to nothing else, not even a single moment, except for reason. • Look carefully after the interests of friends. • Tolerate ignorant people. • Be free of passions especially anger and yet be most affectionate. • Refrain from fault finding. • Teach bad mannered people by your example of good manners.

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• Love truth and love justice. • Speak well of teachers (If we want good education lets pay teachers well.

Who is more important to the society a good teacher or an average lawyer? Think about it. We get what we pay for).

• Be cheerful in all circumstances including illness (and this was 18 centuries before • Νορµαν Χουσινσ )

• Do whatever you have to do without complaining (• αχχεπτ ωηατ ισ ). • Exchange your passions with joys. • Be above flattery. • Be moderate in all things. • In every moment do what you have to do with simple dignity, love, freedom

and justice. • Live in the present moment. • Death and birth are mysteries of nature.

Day 222:Boost your self-esteem by taking any and all omens of

good luck Last night I went for my walking meditation and preparation for this morning's interview. As I was about to park the car a couple of bird droppings hit my windshield. In England there is a superstition which states that if a bird dropping lands on your head, it's a sign of good luck. So remembering this I thought that this must be a sign of a good omen. After all I was driving a convertible and the bird droppings missed me but got the windshield.Later on it was sunny while it was raining in the distance. So there was a beautiful rainbow. This too I took as a sign of a good omen. Another thing I did while walking was to send myself good vibs into the future. This too might be thought of as a superstition Accept positive superstition as though it is a fact. This will help you succeed. It is similar to my previous recommendation of being a positive paranoiac.The point is that is you can see things as a sign of good luck and take anything as a good omen you will feel optimistic and hence you will achieve more and boost your self-esteem. However, reject negative superstition as merely superstitionSo look around you. In everything see signs and symbols of good luck. Enjoy life and boost your self-esteem.

Day 223:Boost your self-esteem by trying new paths

I use walking as a metaphor for all the paths in your life. Today when I went for my walk I tried some new paths I had never used before. I saw new sights and had great fun going on my voyage of discovery. At one stage I took a risk of getting totally lost and found a short cut. I knew that even if I got lost it would only mean a few extra miles back home so it was a calculated risk.When going to restaurants, again at times try something totally new. Also go to restaurants from other cultures and find non-chain restaurants. You'll find better

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food and be supporting mom and pop operations. The main thrust of the issue here too is to to uncharted territory and expand your horizons boosting your self-esteem.Again we would like to remind you that the most successful people are those who risk the most and accept apparent failure for the rewards of success. So go ahead try the other path. Take a risk. Boost your self-esteem and have fun....

Day 224:Boost your self-esteem by being in touch with the Spirit

I recently wrote about the Spirit. I wrote, "I have capitalized Spirit to mean the spark of divinity within . I use Self here as the technical Jungian term signifying the center of the Collective Unconscious and as a synonym for Spirit". The same evening I happened to open a book by Yogi Ramacharaka, called, "Fourteen Lessons in Yoga Philosophy". As it happened through a piece of synchronicity I opened my book on page 52 and looked down and saw the word "Spirit". The interesting thing is that this author had capitalized Spirit the same way that I do. So I read on. I am going to slightly paraphrase the author's words:The Spirit is the divine spark, our most precious inheritance from the Divine Power, a ray from the Central Sun, the Real Self. Our minds cannot grasp it. It is the soul of the Soul. To understand it we must understand God, for Spirit is a drop from the Spirit Ocean, a grain of sand from the shores of the Infinite, a particle of the Sacred Flame....When humanity arrives at a full consciousness of Spirit, she* will be so much higher than humanity that we cannot conceive of such a being at the present time....The Spirit is that within man which closest approaches the Center, is nearest to God. It is only in an occasional precious moment that we are aware of the existence of Spirit within us, and in such moments we are conscious of coming into the awful (full of awe and wonder....) presence of the Unknown. These moments may come when one is engaged in deep religious thought, while reading a poem bearing message from soul to soul, in some hour f affliction when all human aid has failed us and when human words seem but mockery, in a moment when all seem lost and we feel the necessity of a direct word from a being higher than ourselves. When these moments come they leave us a peace which never afterward entirely escapes us, and we are ever after changed beings. In the moment of Illumination or the dawn of Spiritual Consciousness we also feel the real presence of the Spirit. In these moments we become conscious of our relationship with and connection with the Center of Life. Through the medium of the Spirit God reveals Herself to humanity....Many years ago when I first had such a moment, I was an extreme Atheist. However, the experience that I had I could only verbalize by saying, "It was coming face to face with God." As Ramacharaka writes above my life changed totally. That moment of being aware of the existence of the Spirit (over thirty years ago) is the genesis of this whole series.How can you have such moments? You can practice yoga or Zen meditation or become a Sufi or other mystic for many years and you will get there. But that's not the path for most of us who have to hope fore some element of grace to give us such experiences. However, just meditating on the Spirit and the God within will take you

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nearer to the Spirit and will boost your self-esteem.Appreciating beauty (especially in nature) allows you to get in touch with the Spirit. Deep love (platonic, erotic, for you children whatever kind) may allow you to get in touch with the Spirit. Meditation and deep concentration on the Divine may do the same. Basically at peak experiences we touch our Spirit. I want to end today's piece by reminding you that whereas you have an individual soul, there is only one Spirit that we all (including everything in the universe) share. The word universe means a single song. It is the song of the Spirit. Another word for this song is:

Love....Namaste means "the Divinity within me salutes the Divinity within you...."

Day 225:Boost your self-esteem by looking beyond the superficialWhen I go to the supermarket, I see the most beautiful fruits and vegetables. They look oh so inviting. You buy these wonders to behold. Eagerly you take them home and then you take a byte.

Uggggg.....These are the most tasteless things pretending to be fruits and vegetables. We create these facsimiles of real nourishment in out genetic engineering labs. We make them so they ripen in the supermarket looking just perfect. The agribusiness creates Frankenstein monsters which need special pesticides and chemicals to grow. The outside looks so good and yet there is no true nourishment or taste. Go to a real farm or grow some vegetables yourself and taste the real thing....The above is absolutely true but is a metaphor for the way we treat people. Research shows that we all make exceptions for beautiful people treating them better than others. We imagine they are more intelligent, kinder, and would rather have them as our friends. This all very natural, exactly like the awful manufactured junk food in the supermarkets.The truth is that physical beauty is a cultural construct. For most of the existence of human beings fat (real fat) was considered beautiful. Why? Because most people were starving and fat showed you were rich and powerful. Today in the States (and other advanced industrial countries) ultra thin (literally sickly ultra thin) is in. Why? We live in an era of too much junk food. So the less well off are overweight and you've got to be rich and powerful to afford the time to exercise and good organic food.Also today we have the fashion and entertainment industries deciding what's beautiful and what's ugly. When you are a ship and just buy into the junk that the advertisers feed you (whether it's junk food or junk idea of what's beautiful) your inner self understands your lack of integrity and your self-esteem goes down.On the other hand when you are authentic and see through superficial criteria for beauty, you boost your self-esteem. Never allow the advertisers tell you how to be, what to eat, who to be with. Think for yourself. Meditate.....Love yourself and your fellow human beings....

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Understand that you are a beloved child of God....Boost your self-esteem.Boost the self-esteem of others in your environment.See the inner beauty of all, and always have fun.

Day 226:Boost your self-esteem by accepting things you cannot

change with joyI have mentioned the imperative of accepting what is as a first step toward changing the status quo. Today we go beyond that to things which we cannot change. These we need accept with love and joy.I want to give you an example from my own life. I would love to have been taller. However, I am the height that I am. Without extensive (and damaging) surgery, there is nothing I can do about my height. I have two choices. I can accept this fact lovingly with joy and hence boost my self-esteem or I can resent the fact and curse my genes, nature, God, or whatever and lower my self-esteem.Once you accept the unchangeable with joy, you will make the best out of the situation and you will end up achieving much more with whatever you have. When he was a young man, my father lost one of his legs in a struggle against the dictatorship of the Shah. He wore a prosthetic leg. However he still exercised until the day of his death. He learned horse riding at the age of 60. He would walk up short hills and loved to swim. He could swim better with a single leg than most people with two. He had a joi du vivre which kept him young at heart even when he was eighty.So in order to boost your self-esteem, first accept whatever is. You have no choice over that. You are accepting willingly or kicking and screaming every step of the way through the journey of your life. After acceptance of what is, change what is changeable and you do not like. What is not changeable accept lovingly and joyously as a gift from the Spirit.

Day 227:Boost your self-esteem by taking one small step at a

timeThere is an old joke, "How do you eat an elephant?" The answer is, "One byte at a time." So long as you have a huge freezer actually it is a great advice. I remember when I first learned to swim my father would swim a foot ahead of me. As I would swim toward him, he would swim away at the same speed as I was approaching him. In this way at anytime I only had to swim a single foot to reach my father's loving arms and so I was not scared to swim a single foot. Thus I learned to swim a single foot at a time.Many tasks like eating an elephant or real world examples like reading "War and Peace", learning a new language, or reducing your weight by twenty pounds are daunting. However if you divide each task to manageable bytes and do a single byte at a time, you can reach your goal within reasonable time.

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In the above examples say "War and Peace" is 1500 pages long and you decide to read an average of ten pages a day, all you need is 150 days (less than five months) to complete the book. Note I gave an average since some days you may be able to read thirty pages and there might be days you have absolutely no free time for reading.In case of a new language suppose you want to learn 5000 words in the new language which would make you as fluent as a high school graduate in most countries (more like a university graduate in the States but this article is not about the atrocious state of education in this country), if you learn 5 new words a day (a perfectly reasonable task) you will be there in less than three years.For the final example if you eat 100 calories less a day, exercise more to burn up an extra 100 calories a day and use hypnotic techniques as taught in the Michelangelo Weight Reduction SeminarTM to boost your basal metabolic rate you will reduce your weight by twenty pounds within a

year.

Thus when you have a daunting task to perform, break it up into appropriate small steps. Next decide upon the first step. Remembering the words of Lao Tsu, "The journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step," and take that first step at the first possible time. Now take the rest of the steps at the designated time and boost your self-esteem by reaching your sub-goals and eventually at your original goal.In fact this series is written in this same manner. We came up with the idea of writing a book called, "365 ways to boost your self-esteem," about two years before starting the series. Writing such a book with 365 separate articles was just too hard and we hardly did anything about starting the book. Eventually we decided to write the book in this manner one article each day. This was a much more doable task and now we have reached the two hundred and twenty-seventh way.

Day 228:Boost your self-esteem by knowing the universe is a

friendly place Earlier I quoted Albert Einstein who said, "The biggest question for humanity is: is the universe a friendly place?" I mentioned that the answer must always be given in the affirmative. This attitude toward life becomes important at times of anxiety and when you are navigating through the storms of life.Last week I went for an interview for a new contract. This is the perfect contract for me. It is just the right combination of challenge and fun at the same time it gives me the right experience for future contracts. I should have heard something by today but I haven't. At this time I have two choices. I can become anxious and worried and thus lower my self-esteem (and perhaps even lower my chances of getting the job by doing something rash) or I can have deep faith that the universe is a friendly place and knowing that ultimately whatever happened is for my good, keep my peace and calm.I find when I would become anxious this affirmation is always of great help: "God is always a good God."I also find Psalm 23 very useful at times of uncertainty: "The Lord is my shepherd;

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I lack for nothing...."Thus being reassured of the goodness of the universe you will keep your composure and be able to go through whatever life sends you and you will boost your self-esteem.As far as that job is concerned having used my affirmations and knowing that the universe is a friendly place I know that if it is to the good of all concerned I'll get that job. However, if I do not get that job it is because there is ultimately something better (for the good of all) is just around the corner. This is an example of positive thinking which always helps one's self-esteem....Think positively, keep your inner peace, and you will be more successful. You will achieve more and you will boost your self-esteem.

Day 229:Boost your self-esteem by doing good just for the sake of

itselfMost of the time when we do something good we need to be acknowledged. This is absolutely natural. However at times it may be better to do good anonymously. When you do something kind and charitable just for its own sake, inside you feel good. This self acknowledgment is needed since we do need to get kudos for our good deeds.However, by changing the locus of control from external to internal, you do your self-esteem an untold amount of good. Now a saint would do all her* good anonymously, but I don't suggest we become like saints every day of our lives. However, doing anonymous acts of kindness and charity when you are the only one who knows you have done good will boost your self-esteem.Altogether the best strategy is do good deeds and don't care if others know about them. Do the good deeds for their own sake and at times someone else might thank you for the deed and at other times boost your self-esteem by thanking yourself.

Day 230:Boost your self-esteem by changing your belief systems

Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't you're right." Jesus over and over again emphasized that your belief system determines your reality. This is further repeated by other philosophers and masters. Modern psychological research has demonstrated the great effect of belief system on health, the mind, and success. Cancer patients who believe they can beat the disease are much more likely to go into remission. Students who believe they can do well at school will do well. The list is endless.Our belief systems are brought on by repetitions of thoughts and also by our past experiences. Thus if you use affirmations to repeat the idea that you are intelligent, you will end up believing that you are intelligent. This in turn will make you more intelligent which becomes part of your experiences of the past.The second factor is our past experiences. To use the example of intelligence again, when we do something we deem to be intelligent, we add to our core belief that we

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are intelligent. Our belief systems are like bank accounts. Thus each time we do something we believe is intelligent we add to our belief that we are intelligent and also each time we do something we believe is not so intelligent we diminish our belief that we are intelligent.As children our belief system and our self-esteem is derived by the way we are treated by our parents, siblings and other significant people. Thus by the time we are adults we have pretty fixed opinions of ourselves. We think we are this and not that. Our past experiences confirm our belief system. However, do not despair. There are ways of changing your belief system. They are not necessarily easy. It takes consistent work to change belief systems which have developed over the years.The question is how can you change your belief system?

• When you have a negative thoughts, remind yourself and say, "Cancel cancel."

• Make a list of times in the past you have demonstrated the trait. Thus if you want to change your belief about your intelligence, make a list of times you have been intelligent. Start with examining your • λιστ οφ συχχεσσεσ . Add to this list everytime you do something well.

• Use visualization to visualize yourself having the characteristic you desire. • • Υσε αφφιρµατιονσ . • Pretend you have the new belief system and act as if you had that belief.

So change your beliefs and boost your self-esteem.

Day 231:Boost your self-esteem by using visualization techniquesIn a study on the effects of visualization on sports achievement a group of high school students were divided into three groups. They were first tested for their free throw ability in basketball. The three groups were designated to be as good as each other. The three groups were to spend one hour a day working on their free throws. The first group (the control group) did nothing but spend an hour a day in the gym doing other activities. The second group spend an hour a day practicing their free throws. The last group spent an hour a day visualizing doing free throws. The rule in this visualization was that the students in this group had to imagine that they succeeded in every throw. After several weeks the three groups were tested again. As predicted the control group did not improve. The scores of the group who practiced everyday improved significantly. However the scores of third group, who had only visualized the free throws, improved nearly as much. In fact there was no statistically significant difference between the last two groups. To complete the research, they had a group of students both practice and visualize success. This group did much better than the other groups.Other research studies have shown the effectiveness of visualization in help healing disease, improve test scores, and lower the effects of allergens.By now you may be asking so what exactly is visualization anyway?Visualization is the use of your power of imagination (imaging facility of the mind) to "see" yourself successfully doing the desired action. I quoted the word see since in fact we each have preferred senses in which we visualize. Thus some people visualize mostly by their sense of hearing (auditory visualization). While others use their

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feelings (senses of touch, taste and smell -- kinesthetic visualization) in their imagination. Some people use words mostly in their imaginings.The next thing to note is that many people claim they do not see things with their mind's eye. I have a question for you: "What color is car?" You had to see your car in your imagination in order to answer that question. Others complain that the images they see are dim and not as vivid as images they see on the outside. Well, actually that's the way it's supposed to be. After all if the images inside were as vivid as the images on the outside, how would you know the difference....Today I'll just write about the method of visualization and in the next few days I'll give some specific visualizations. Note another term for visualization is guided meditation.In order to visualize you first need to relax your body and then you relax your mind. Next use your imagination to tell yourself a story in which you "see" yourself successfully doing the thing which is the subject of your visualization. By "see" in the previous sentence I mean use your imagination in whichever sense you feel most comfortable. Ideally you'll use all your senses to a little. Thus if you have a goal of passing a test, you imagine yourself taking the test successfully. In this case imagine as vividly as you can that you are in the room you will actually take the test in. See what you'll see. Hear what you will hear and feel what you'll feel. Imagine taking the test successfully. Finally end the visualization by imagining receiving the test results and imagine getting the results you want.Another group of visualizations have the goal of things like forgiveness, increasing universal love and compassion, producing better health and such. In the following few days I'll be giving the scripts to some of these guided meditations which I have found very effective. You can tape yourself by reading the scripts and then listen to them.

Day 232:Boost your self-esteem by using visualization techniques

-- IISafe Space Meditation

Yesterday I wrote about why you should use visualization to boost your self-esteem . Today I start with the most basic visualization (also known as guided meditation). This is the safe space meditation. I always use this as the first hypnotic session in private one-on-one hypnotherapy. This teaches my clients to enter the trance state and gives us a safe space to return to if ever needed. You may want to read these articles on hypnosis:Frequently asked questions on HypnosisHow to hypnotize yourselfPlease alter the script to make it apt for you (I have used the second person but you can use I if you prefer -- I think, in general, you is better even when using your own voice). Read the script until you know it well and then say it to yourself. It may be better to read these scripts into a tape recorder and then listen to the tape. Note ellipsis (....) designate pauses.

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Remember to use your imagination and power of pretense.

Safe Space Script:In a moment we are going to work together to relax your body totally and completely. Please remember that you are fully in control and I am only the operator or your tour guide. Use your creativity and imagination to guide you to a wonderful safe space. Anytime you need to come out of this experience just count up from zero to five and at the count of five find yourself fully awake and alert.Take a deep breath through your nose.... Hold it in for a moment.... And now release your breath slowly through your mouth and relax... Allow yourself to feel very safe, calm, and relaxed.... As you are sitting in that chair.... You may desire to move your body slightly to make you more comfortable.... Concentrate on your hands... Feel the temperature of the air on your hands.... Maybe your hands feel warm and maybe they feel cool or just right... As you concentrate on your hands.... Notice that one of your hands may feel slightly different from the other.... This means you are already starting to relax...And now As you relax your body you may wish to relax your mind.... If you want you can let go of any worries you may have.... Imagine a beautiful golden chest... This is a wonderful transformative chest.... On this chest is written my worries... Imagine yourself going over to the golden chest and opening the top.... Inside the chest is lined with a beautiful violet colored velvet material. Imagine all your worries as a lump of coal. Use your creativity and gather all your worries, concerns, and problems into this lump of coal.... And place the worries in the chest.... As you put your problems in the chest take another deep breath..... Hold it..... And as you let it out through your mouth imagine you're closing the door of the chest and you may leave all your worries behind as you relax even more.... Your worries will remain safe here until the end of the session when you may have them back if you wish... Or you may prefer to simply leave you worries in this chest.... But since this is a transformative chest you may discover that your worries and concerns will change to challenges and opportunities....Now relax even more.... Continue to relax all your body.... mind.... soul.... spirit.... Good, just listen to the sound of my voice which will let you relax yourself more and more..... I want you to concentrate on my voice and allow any other sounds to disappear in the background as they relax you. You may find it best if you imagine yourself into a very relaxed posture....In a moment, I will ask you to concentrate on various parts of your body and to relax these parts....Now please close your eyes and relax. Concentrate on your toes. As you concentrate on your toes.... and relax your toes... you may have a little tingling feeling.... or feeling of warmth in them. This is quite natural... and will allow you to relax your toes even more....Now, concentrate on the soles of you feet.... And allow the feelings of relaxation to move up to the soles of your feet.... Again any sensations you may have in you feet are perfectly good and natural and will help to relax you. Feel the relaxation all over your feet including the toes, the arches and the heal....

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Let the feeling of relaxation move up to your ankles.... Very good..... Now you may wish to relax you shins and your calves.... And now concentrate on you knees.... Let your knees relax totally and completely.... Let all your body beneath your knees feel very relaxed.... Now allow the feeling of relaxation creep up your thighs.... Relax your thighs..... And move the relaxing feeling to your pelvis.... As you concentrate on your back bone allow your back bone to relax.... You may notice that your breathing has slowed down and become deeper..... This is very good and relaxes you further.... Your heartbeat feels slower and more relaxed..... As you are concentrating on your internal organs let them relax.... Relax your liver, kidneys, digestive system.... Relax all your internal organs..... Allow them to work together to bring you health, calm, and relaxation.....Good.... Now relax your shoulders.... Concentrate on your shoulders and let them relax.....Let the feeling of relaxation move down your arms.... Through your elbows... To your hands..... Let your arms.... Elbows..... And hands relax fully and completely..... Now concentrate on your fingers.... Let your fingers relax.....As you concentrate on your neck allow all the muscles of your neck relax..... Let your neck and back bones totally relax.Next concentrate on the muscles of your face and relax all the muscles of your face..... You are feeling very good and relaxed....Now concentrate on your jaws..... Often you may have tension in your jaws.... Concentrate and relax your jaws.... Allow all the muscles of your jaws relax totally and completely..... As you relax your jaws you may notice that your mouth opens slightly separating your teeth allowing your jaws to relax even more.... Now concentrate on your scalp.... Allow your scalp to relax.... Relax your scalp and let this wonderful feeling of relaxation permeate all of your body.... Very good..... Let yourself relax....Finally concentrate on the muscles of your eyes.... These are some of the smallest and most subtle muscles in your body.... Concentrate on these muscles and relax them... Let go of any tension in the muscles of your eyes.... Relax your eyes fully and totally....

I am going to count down from ten to zero and I want you to imagine yourself descending down some beautiful set of marble stairs to a beautiful paradise of a tropical garden.... With each count imagine yourself going down one step and double your feeling of relaxation all over your body.....Ten.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Nine.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Eight.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Seven.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Six.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Five.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Four.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Three.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Two.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....

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And one.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Now zero..... Let the final vestige of tension leave your body.... You feel very relaxed and wonderful....Each time you repeat this hypnotic induction you will be able to go into a deep trance quicker and you'll go deeper each time....

Now I want you to imagine this beautiful shimmering iridescent white light coming down from the heavens entering the crown of your head .... now, allow the white light to enter, heal and energize every cell of your body..... Concentrate on this healing white light.... increase the intensity of the healing white light and allow it to permeate through every cell of your body covering every molecule and atom of your body.... and all the spaces between all the atoms of your body.... Now let this wonderful healing light increase in intensity and concentrate in your heart.... Allow your heart to convert the light into a golden light of protection.... and now let this golden light extend through all your body and extend twelve inches around your body giving you a wonderful armor of loving compassionate protection.... Only your higher guides, angels and other loving entities may enter this protective shield at your express invitation for your express good....

Next imagine that you are walking in a beautiful paradise of a garden. This is your safe space. In this garden you are safe and secure from all daily concerns and worries. Here you have various areas. Some of these are your self-esteem area; your healing area; your information center; your perfect memory; your perfect body area. You may return this safe space whenever in a hypnotic trance... All you have to do is to repeat the words safe space and you'll return to your safe space from wherever you may be....Let's take a walk together to your self-esteem area.... I am going to count down from three to one and at the count of one you'll be in your self-esteem area...Three.... getting nearer and nearer to your self-esteem area.... Two... nearly there...One.... we are in your self-esteem areaFeel the surge of self-confidence as we enter this area.... Perhaps you would like to bend down and pick up one of the self-esteem flowers on the ground... You may smell the wonderful odor of the flowers around you.... In the distance you may hear some sounds.... allow these sounds be a signal to you that you are increasing your self-esteem....Now repeat the following as loudly as possible.... silently:I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself.... I approve of myself....

And now let's move to your healing center. I am going to count down from three to one and at the count of one you'll be in your healing area...Three.... getting nearer and nearer to your healing area.... Two... nearly there...

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One.... we are in your healing areaHere you have access to all the best healers and physicians in the history of humanity. I am going to remain silent for a while.... Your unconscious mind has a blueprint of perfect health for you and knows exactly which part of your mind/body needs healing.... Allow these excellent healers heal you....

In a moment we will end this experience.... Before we do let us go back to the transformative treasure chest which contains your worries and concerns.... If you want you may open this treasure chest and you may be amazed to discover that the lump of coal you put in has changed into a gem.... You may discover that your worries and concerns have changed into challenges and opportunities.... Anyway it is up to you.... If you want take out whatever you want from this chest.... However, perhaps you prefer to place even more concerns and worries into the chest and allow them to be changed to opportunities and challenges.....

In a moment I am going to count up from one to five and at the count of five you'll be fully alert, well rested as though you've had a full nights sleep....One coming back to this room...Two feeling returning to your finger tips and toes....Three eyelids beginning to open....Four feeling safe and secure, well rested, and very happy for no reason at all which after all is the best reason to be happy....Five eyes open -- fully alert....The above script is most basic hypnotic script. You need to use it often so you can hypnotize yourself easily. As you practice visiting your safe space, you may wonder around discovering the different areas within. Typically I start most of my hypnotic sessions from the safe space area and will return to the normal consciousness through it. When I'm seeing a client I am much more flexible and alter the basic scripts knowing the needs of the client. Also note that the words used are about twenty percent of the hypnotic experience. The voice tonality, the pauses and other voice attributes make up the other eighty percent of the experience. We will soon be releasing CDs and tapes of these scripts. We were in the studio earlier on but the best laid plans of mice and men.... However I do believe that if you tape the above script for yourself, and listen to it at least twenty one times in the next two months, you will discover that it will boost your self-esteem to a huge amount and improve your health. The next scripts will use rapid induction techniques. In the beginning use the full induction as above. Hypnosis is about learning to enter the trance state and as you learn you will be able to use the rapid induction methods to enter a deep trance in less than a minute.

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Day 233:Boost your self-esteem by using visualization techniques

-- IIIAligning Yourself With Your Ancestors

Previously I wrote about why you should use visualization to boost your self-esteem . Yesterday I started with the most basic visualization (also known as guided meditation): "safe space meditation". In today's script I am using a rapid induction method. You can use yesterday's induction if you prefer. You may want to read these articles on hypnosis:Frequently asked questions on HypnosisHow to hypnotize yourselfPlease alter the script to make it apt for you (I have used the second person but you can use I if you prefer -- I think, in general, you is better even when using your own voice). Read the script until you know it well and then say it to yourself. It may be better to read these scripts into a tape recorder and then listen to the tape. Note ellipsis (....) designate pauses.Remember to use your imagination and power of pretense.

Aligning Yourself With Your Ancestors Script:

In a moment we are going to work together to relax your body totally and completely. Please remember that you are fully in control and I am only the operator or your tour guide. Use your creativity and imagination to guide you to a wonderful safe space. Anytime you need to come out of this experience just count up from zero to five and at the count of five find yourself fully awake and alert.Take a deep breath through your nose.... Hold it in for a moment.... And now release your breath slowly through your mouth and relax... Allow yourself to feel very safe, calm, and relaxed.... As you are sitting in that chair.... You may desire to move your body slightly to make you more comfortable.... Concentrate on your hands... Feel the temperature of the air on your hands.... Maybe your hands feel warm and maybe they feel cool or just right... As you concentrate on your hands.... Notice that one of your hands may feel slightly different from the other.... This means you are already starting to relax...And now As you relax your body you may wish to relax your mind.... If you want you can let go of any worries you may have.... Imagine a beautiful golden chest... This is a wonderful transformative chest.... On this chest is written my worries... Imagine yourself going over to the golden chest and opening the top.... Inside the chest is lined with a beautiful violet colored velvet material. Imagine all your worries as a lump of coal. Use your creativity and gather all your worries, concerns, and problems into this lump of coal.... And place the worries in the chest.... As you put your problems in the chest take another deep breath..... Hold it..... And as you let it out through your mouth imagine you're closing the door of the chest and you may

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leave all your worries behind as you relax even more.... Your worries will remain safe here until the end of the session when you may have them back if you wish... Or you may prefer to simply leave you worries in this chest.... But since this is a transformative chest you may discover that your worries and concerns will change to challenges and opportunities....Now relax even more.... Continue to relax all your body.... mind.... soul.... spirit.... Now close your eyes and concentrate on the muscles of your eyes and eyelids.... These are some of the most subtle muscles in your body. Allow yourself to relax your eyelids as much as possible.... continue relaxing your eyelids until they are so relaxed that if you tried you could not open them.... Now only when you are absolutely sure that if you tried you could not open them try in vain to open your eyelids and discover with great wonder and amazement that you cannot open them... try for a moment and then stop trying.... and allow that to take you down so much deeper.... and keeping that relaxation allow yourself to go deeper and deeper and deeper....

I am going to count down from ten to zero and I want you to imagine yourself descending down some beautiful set of marble stairs to a beautiful paradise of a tropical garden.... With each count imagine yourself going down one step and double your feeling of relaxation all over your body.....Ten.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Nine.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Eight.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Seven.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Six.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Five.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Four.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Three.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Two.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....And one.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Now zero..... Let the final vestige of tension leave your body.... You feel very relaxed and wonderful....Each time you repeat this hypnotic induction you will be able to go into a deep trance quicker and you'll go deeper each time....

Now I want you to imagine this beautiful shimmering iridescent white light coming down from the heavens entering the crown of your head .... now, allow the white light to enter, heal and energize every cell of your body..... Concentrate on this healing white light.... increase the intensity of the healing white light and allow it to permeate through every cell of your body covering every molecule and atom of your body.... and all the spaces between all the atoms of your body.... Now let this wonderful healing light increase in intensity and concentrate in your heart.... Allow your heart to convert the light into a golden light of protection.... and now let this golden light extend through all your body and extend twelve inches around your body giving you a wonderful armor of loving compassionate protection.... Only your higher guides, angels and other loving entities may enter this protective shield at your express invitation for your express good....

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Next imagine that you are walking in a beautiful paradise of a garden. This is your safe space. In this garden you are safe and secure from all daily concerns and worries. Here you have various areas. Some of these are your self-esteem area; your healing area; your information center; your perfect memory; your perfect body area. You may return this safe space whenever in a hypnotic trance... All you have to do is to repeat the words safe space and you'll return to your safe space from wherever you may be....Let's take a walk together to your time machine area.... I am going to count down from three to one and at the count of one you'll be in your time machine area...Three.... getting nearer and nearer to your time machine area.... Two... nearly there...One.... we are in your time machine areaIn this area you can imagine yourself to anytime in the past or the future.... I am going to mention various times when you or your ancestors were between two and six years old. Your unconscious mind in each case will know exactly how old the children mentioned have to be for maximum effectiveness....Pink is the color of unconditional love.... Imagine the shimmering white light from the heavens being transformed by your solar plexus into a pink light of unconditional love.... Allow the pink light to fill the whole of you body.... Now using your time machine imagine you are back in time to a time when you were a child between two and six years old.... Cover that child with the pink light of unconditional love.... Allow that child who is the you of the past to feel all that unconditional love....Now using your time machine imagine you are back in time to a time when your mother was a child between two and six years old.... Cover that child with the pink light of unconditional love.... Allow that child who is your mother as a child to feel all that unconditional love....

Now using your time machine imagine you are back in time to a time when your father was a child between two and six years old.... Cover that child with the pink light of unconditional love.... Allow that child who is your father as a child to feel all that unconditional love....Now using your time machine imagine you are back in time to a time when your mother's mother was a child between two and six years old.... Cover that child with the pink light of unconditional love.... Allow that child who is your mother's mother as a child to feel all that unconditional love....Now using your time machine imagine you are back in time to a time when your mother's father was a child between two and six years old.... Cover that child with the pink light of unconditional love.... Allow that child who is your mother's father as a child to feel all that unconditional love....

Now using your time machine imagine you are back in time to a time when your father's mother was a child between two and six years old.... Cover that child with the pink light of unconditional love.... Allow that child who is your father's mother as a child to feel all that unconditional love....

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Now using your time machine imagine you are back in time to a time when your father's father was a child between two and six years old.... Cover that child with the pink light of unconditional love.... Allow that child who is your father's father as a child to feel all that unconditional love....Now allow your unconscious mind to choose whichever of your ancestors who needs that unconditional love..... and using your time machine imagine you are back in time to a time when this ancestor was a child between two and six years old.... Cover that child with the pink light of unconditional love.... Allow that child who is your chosen ancestor as a child to feel all that unconditional love....Now using your time machine allow all these children who are you parents, grandparents, an ancestor and yourself as a child to return all that unconditional love back to you amplified many times..... Allow yourself to receive all that unconditional love.... I'm going to remain silent for a minute.... Allow all the unconditional love to permeate between all of you.... Give as much love to each person as is needed.... Your unconscious mind knows exactly how much love each person needs.....

(SILENCE....) In a moment we will end this experience.... Before we do let us go back to the transformative treasure chest which contains your worries and concerns.... If you want you may open this treasure chest and you may be amazed to discover that the lump of coal you put in has changed into a gem.... You may discover that your worries and concerns have changed into challenges and opportunities.... Anyway it is up to you.... If you want take out whatever you want from this chest.... However, perhaps you prefer to place even more concerns and worries into the chest and allow them to be changed to opportunities and challenges.....

In a moment I am going to count up from one to five and at the count of five you'll be fully alert, well rested as though you've had a full nights sleep....One coming back to this room...Two feeling returning to your finger tips and toes....Three eyelids beginning to open....Four feeling safe and secure, well rested, and very happy for no reason at all which after all is the best reason to be happy....Five eyes open -- fully alert....The above script is an extremely powerful script. It allows you to get in touch with your ancestors and potentially finish unfinished business after they might have passed away. Here is an unsolicited letter of thanks we received after doing this meditation at the Rekindle Your Self-Esteem workshop. NOTE: When I'm seeing a client I am much more flexible and alter the basic scripts knowing the needs of the client.

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Day 234:Boost your self-esteem by using visualization techniques

-- IVAligning Yourself With The Universe

Previously I wrote about why you should use visualization to boost your self-esteem . So far I have given two visualizations (also known as guided meditation): "safe space meditation" and "Aligning Yourself With Your Ancestors". In today's script I am using a different rapid induction method. Use this method only after you have tried the other methods of induction. You can use the first day's induction if you prefer. You may want to read these articles on hypnosis:Frequently asked questions on HypnosisHow to hypnotize yourselfPlease alter the script to make it apt for you (I have used the second person but you can use I if you prefer -- I think, in general, you is better even when using your own voice). Read the script until you know it well and then say it to yourself. It may be better to read these scripts into a tape recorder and then listen to the tape. Note ellipsis (....) designate pauses.Remember to use your imagination and power of pretense.

Aligning Yourself With The Universe Script:

In a moment we are going to work together to relax your body totally and completely. Please remember that you are fully in control and I am only the operator or your tour guide. Use your creativity and imagination to guide you to a wonderful safe space. Anytime you need to come out of this experience just count up from zero to five and at the count of five find yourself fully awake and alert.Take a deep breath through your nose.... Hold it in for a moment.... And now release your breath slowly through your mouth and relax... Allow yourself to feel very safe, calm, and relaxed.... As you are sitting in that chair.... You may desire to move your body slightly to make you more comfortable.... Concentrate on your hands... Feel the temperature of the air on your hands.... Maybe your hands feel warm and maybe they feel cool or just right... As you concentrate on your hands.... Notice that one of your hands may feel slightly different from the other.... This means you are already starting to relax...And now As you relax your body you may wish to relax your mind.... If you want you can let go of any worries you may have.... Imagine a beautiful golden chest... This is a wonderful transformative chest.... On this chest is written my worries... Imagine yourself going over to the golden chest and opening the top.... Inside the chest is lined with a beautiful violet colored velvet material. Imagine all your worries as a lump of coal. Use your creativity and gather all your worries, concerns, and problems into this lump of coal.... And place the worries in the chest.... As you put your problems in the chest take another deep breath..... Hold it..... And as you let

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it out through your mouth imagine you're closing the door of the chest and you may leave all your worries behind as you relax even more.... Your worries will remain safe here until the end of the session when you may have them back if you wish... Or you may prefer to simply leave you worries in this chest.... But since this is a transformative chest you may discover that your worries and concerns will change to challenges and opportunities....Now relax even more.... Continue to relax all your body.... mind.... soul.... spirit.... Now close your eyes and pretend that you are in deep trance.... And once your pretense is so strong that you really believe you are in a deep trance, pretend that you are not pretending.....I am going to count down from ten to zero and I want you to imagine yourself descending down some beautiful set of marble stairs to a beautiful paradise of a tropical garden.... With each count imagine yourself going down one step and double your feeling of relaxation all over your body.....Ten.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Nine.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Eight.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Seven.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Six.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Five.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Four.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Three.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Two.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....And one.... Relax.... Let go.... Deeper.... Deeper..... Deeper.....Now zero..... Let the final vestige of tension leave your body.... You feel very relaxed and wonderful....Each time you repeat this hypnotic induction you will be able to go into a deep trance quicker and you'll go deeper each time....

Now I want you to imagine this beautiful shimmering iridescent white light coming down from the heavens entering the crown of your head .... now, allow the white light to enter, heal and energize every cell of your body..... Concentrate on this healing white light.... increase the intensity of the healing white light and allow it to permeate through every cell of your body covering every molecule and atom of your body.... and all the spaces between all the atoms of your body.... Now let this wonderful healing light increase in intensity and concentrate in your heart.... Allow your heart to convert the light into a golden light of protection.... and now let this golden light extend through all your body and extend twelve inches around your body giving you a wonderful armor of loving compassionate protection.... Only your higher guides, angels and other loving entities may enter this protective shield at your express invitation for your express good....

Next imagine that you are walking in a beautiful paradise of a garden. This is your safe space. In this garden you are safe and secure from all daily concerns and worries. Here you have various areas. Some of these are your self-esteem area; your healing area; your information center; your perfect memory; your perfect body

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area. You may return this safe space whenever in a hypnotic trance... All you have to do is to repeat the words safe space and you'll return to your safe space from wherever you may be....Pink is the color of unconditional love.... Imagine the shimmering white light from the heavens being transformed by your solar plexus into a pink light of unconditional love.... Imagine the light as a dot and allow it to grow.... Allow it to grow to the size of a marble.... And now allow the pink light of unconditional love to grow to the size of a golf ball.... continue allowing it to grow.... now imagine it is the size of a basket ball and continue making bigger and bigger..... Allow the pink light to fill the whole of you body.... Now allow the pink light of unconditional love to grow filling the whole of the room that you are in.... and continue growing the pink light.... Now let it be the size of the building you are in.... Fill the whole building you are in with unconditional love.... Continue allowing the pink light to grow larger and larger.... Now it is the size of your neighborhood... And it continues to grow larger..... Now the pink light is filling your city and it grows larger until it fills your county.... your state.... your country.... your hemisphere.... Now imagine the pink light of unconditional love covering the whole Earth.... Send unconditional love to all the inhabitants of Earth....And allow the pink light to get larger and larger and larger.... Allow it to cover the Solar System and then continue growing.... Allow it to continue getting larger and larger and now it covers the local part of the Milky Way.... And let to get larger until it covers the whole of our Galaxy.... And let it grow larger until it covers the local groups of galaxies.... And allow it to get larger and larger until it covers the whole of the Universe.... Now send that unconditional love to all beings and things in the universe.... Using the power of your imagination allow the pink light of unconditional love to move in the fourth dimension until it covers all time from the ultimate past to the ultimate future.....(SILENCE....) Now allow the light to start getting smaller.... It retracts the same way as it expanded..... Allow it to return the the present time and getting smaller and smaller.... It is now the size of the Galaxy.... Getting smaller and smaller... It is now the size of our Solar System.... Getting smaller and smaller.... It is now covering the whole Earth and diminishing in size returning all the unconditional love back to you.... Getting smaller until it is the size of your country.... and getting smaller.... now it covers your city.... now your building.... Getting smaller and smaller..... Now just the room you are in..... And getting smaller until it covers only your body.... bringing all that unconditional love back to you.... And let it grow smaller and smaller and smaller until it is a dot at your solar plexus and finally it disappears....(SILENCE....) In a moment we will end this experience.... Before we do let us go back to the transformative treasure chest which contains your worries and concerns.... If you want you may open this treasure chest and you may be amazed to discover that the lump of coal you put in has changed into a gem.... You may discover that your worries and concerns have changed into challenges and opportunities.... Anyway it is up to you.... If you want take out whatever you want from this chest.... However, perhaps you prefer to place even more concerns and worries into the chest and allow

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them to be changed to opportunities and challenges.....

In a moment I am going to count up from one to five and at the count of five you'll be fully alert, well rested as though you've had a full nights sleep....One coming back to this room...Two feeling returning to your finger tips and toes....Three eyelids beginning to open....Four feeling safe and secure, well rested, and very happy for no reason at all which after all is the best reason to be happy....Five eyes open -- fully alert....NOTE: When I'm seeing a client I am much more flexible and alter the basic scripts knowing the needs of the client.

Day 235:Boost your self-esteem by practicing optimism

Optimistic people have much higher self-esteem than pessimists. Thus one great way to boost your self-esteem is to become more optimistic.Optimism is like anything else. It must be practiced. When you practice anything, it will eventually become second nature to you and will be at your command exactly when you need it.The following are some of the ways you can practice optimism:

• Look for the silver lining in every cloud. • Look for the opportunity in every crises -- in Chinese the ideogram for crises

is composed of two ideograms meaning danger and opportunity. Thus in the middle of anything negative there is an opportunity. We just need to seek that opportunity.

• Look for challenges within situations. • See the glass half full. • Wear that rosy pair of glasses. Be realistic. Understand the truth. And yet

have faith that ultimately all will be well. • As we have written before understand that • τηε υνιϖερσε ισ α φριενδλψ

πλαχε. • Smile.... Physiologically it is impossible to smile and not feel better. • Hang around optimistic people. • Avoid pessimists. • Avoid watching the news on TV (or listening to radio news or reading the

papers for that matter). The news organizations emphasize the negative. They sensationalize all the murder, rape, war and mayhem. They hardly ever report on all the good which happened in the world. The local news (at least in Southern California) is atrocious from this angle. Whatever you do, do something else just before going to sleep. Read a book. If you must watch TV, watch a sitcom or something funny.

• Use optimistic affirmations such as "God is always a good God...." • Read biographies of people who succeeded in spite of all odds (e.g. that of

Abraham Lincoln).

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• • Μακε α λιστ οφ ψουρ συχχεσσεσ and read the list when feeling down

Day 236:Boost your self-esteem by reading a classic

We (in the USA) live in the most anti-intellectual society in the world. We live on garbage. We eat junk food. Watch junk TV and movies. Most importantly the average American reads less than one book a year. Each book you read (even the worst possible book) adds to your character and knowledge. So please boost your self-esteem by reading a book any book.However, today I really want to ask you to read a classic book. I mean something written at least a thousand years ago. I am writing about authors like Homer, Plato, Aristotle, Lucretus, Virgil, Cicero, Saint Augustin, Saint Thomas Aquinas, and such.One problem people have when approaching classical works (whether books, music, or the arts) is to take them miles too seriously. Understand that all works of arts were at the time popular works. Time decides which of the popular works survive and which were ephemeral. If God forbid in two hundred years time "Bay Watch" survives it will be a classic work of art and will be studied the way Shakespeare is in schools today. However, what most people do not realize is that Shakespeare was popular drama. It is great fun.The same is true about Homer and Virgil. As far as the philosophers are concerned, their works may be slightly heavy but if you approach them lightheartedly you can have great fun while reading the classics and boosting your self-esteem.

Day 237:Boost your self-esteem by acting as if you had high self-

esteemThis is such an old technique that I don't remember if the following quote is from Plato, the Bible or Shakespeare (my paraphrase): "If you don't have a virtue, act as if you had that virtue and soon you will have the virtue." That is pretend you have a character that you desire to have and soon you'll discover that you have that characteristic. In psychotherapy this is called the "as if principle." Act as if something is true and it is....This is a very strong psychological method based on a wonderful property of the brain. The brain cannot tell the difference between a vivid fantasy and objective reality. We have previously used this fact in the series on visualization. Today we use the same property of the brain in the "as if principle."To use the as if principle to boost your self-esteem ask yourself the following types of questions:

• What would I feel if I had a high self-esteem? Feel those feelings.... • How would I act if I had a high self-esteem? Act that way.... • What would I say to myself-if I had a high self-esteem? Change your self-talk

appropriately.... • How would a person of high self-esteem carry herself*? Change your

posture.... • What tonality would she have? Change you voice....

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• What clothes would she wear? Wear that type of clothes.... Make up your own questions and then act the way you would if you had high self-esteem. Use your imagination and power of pretense to act as if you had high self-esteem. As Mary Kay of Mary Kay said the same thing in a slightly different way: "Fake it till you make it".

Day 238:Boost your self-esteem by thinking for yourself

Too often we allow others think for us. We read predigested news and watch junk TV. We go to school and are spondee with information. We have best books and authors that we must read. Our whole schooling is designed to get rid of our creativity and make us good conformists and excellent workers.Anytime we allow others think for us we are inauthentic and decrease our self-esteem. On the other hand when we think for ourselves, we are being authentic and we boost our self-esteem.How do you think for yourself?The following are some methods to help think for yourself and boost your self-esteem:

• When listening to (or reading) some news think about the bias of the person or organization spreading the news. Remember the media conglomerates are owned by billionaires who look after the interest of the billionaires and the so called liberal media personalities are millionaires with millionaire's interests. Next time you see someone on ABC praise a Disney movie, think about the fact that Disney and ABC belong to same organization. Next time you hear a news about China on NBC, think about the fact that NBC's parent company (GE) is attempting to sell nuclear reactors to the Chinese dictators. Beware that the parent company of Fox TV is trying to get its satellite broadcast system into China. I am not suggesting that any of these people are biased just because their financial interests go in a certain direction for we all know that they are such honorable people....

• Be wisely skeptical. Do not accept or reject ideas out of hand before thinking about them.

• Learn critical thinking. • Expand your knowledge. • Be curious. • Challenge yourself by looking at both sides of the issue. Trial lawyers always

role play the other side so they will have the best possible argument. Do this with your deeply held beliefs. If you are a fundamentalist, look at the world from a non-literal point of view. If you are an atheist, imagine for while what the world may be like if there were a God. If you are a liberal, examine conservative philosophies and vice versa. At the end of the exercise you will end up thinking more for yourself. You may even change your mind a little.

• Take responsibility for your thoughts. Thus if some one asks you about your beliefs, say, "I believe....," and not "My church (political party, whatever) believes..."

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• Question authority -- ask why or why not? It's interesting societies honor their live conformists and dead nonconformists....

• When things must be done in a certain way ask why not another way. Reminds me of this lady who always used to cut the ends of the pot roast before putting it in the huge pot. Her husband asked her why she did that. She replied that she didn't know but that's the way her mother would always do it. So they asked her mother who replied that she had learned it from her mother. When they asked the grandmother she replied, "Our pot was too small. That was the only way I could get it to fit." How often do you do things in an old fashioned way just because that's the way it has always been done? What opportunities are you missing out on by not looking at novel ways of doing things.

• Imagine.... Imagine all the people living in peace... (John Lennon).

Day 239:Boost your self-esteem by understanding that this too

shall pass The magic ring: (from teaching stories)A king was fed up with the ups and downs of life. He had great highs and extreme lows. One day he was so happy he could die and the next he was so sad he could die. He asked his viziers and advisors to make him a magic ring which would pacify his extreme emotions. All the wise men of the nation were consulted, but none could make such a ring. As it happened the Mullah was passing through this country at the time and he heard about the kings need. He got an audience with the great potentate and presented him with a simple ring he wore on his own hand. This ring had the magic property desired. On it was written, "This too shall pass."The above story is a metaphor for all of our lives. We view past and the future from the point of view of the present moment. Too often our mood changes and we think it has always been this way and it will remain the same way until we die. The reality is that all things in life change. In fact the only thing unchangeable about life is change itself. Once we understand that life is about change we may appreciate the change. So when you are up remember the times you were down. This may sound weird to you but it works for me. When I am really happy I send good vibs (don't ask me what that means) to the past times when I felt bad and future times when I may feel bad. I close my eyes, get in touch with the good feeling in the present moment and just imagine I'm sending this good feeling to the future and the past. And then at times when I'm feeling low I receive all the good vibs from the good times. It works for me. Try it. It may work for you.Anyway understand that life is all about change and appreciate the ups and downs and you will boost your self-esteem..

Day 240:Boost your self-esteem by practicing mantra meditationThis is an ancient method of meditation which was prevalent in the West as well as

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the East. Unfortunately with the introduction of science and the scientific method not only did we in the West (Europe) get rid of our literalist superstitions but we also lost much of our spirituality. Unfortunately in the States we managed to keep much of the superstition (fundamentalism) while losing the spirituality.Anyway in the last three centuries (19, 20, 21) we reintroduced many spiritual practices from the East. Mantra meditation is one of these techniques. It is well described in the 14th century Christian mystical text "The Cloud of Unknowing". The method comprises of repeating a word or a short phrase over and over again.This method was popularized under the name Transcendental Meditation some thirty five years ago. Traditionally in Hindu mantra meditation, your Guru after knowing you for many years gives you your specific mantra which is supposed to have the right vibration (sound waves) for you. It is a name of God which resonates with your soul and spiritual quest in the current incarnation. In Transcendental Meditation someone who hardly knows you somehow gives you "your" secret mantra and charges quite a lot of money for that. There are people who swear blind by TM so I am not knocking it. It may be the right thing for some people. It has been shown to be very effective in reducing the effects of stress. Although all the research shows that any kind of mantra meditation is as good as TM in getting rid of the effects of stress. Dr. Herbert Benson has dome much research on the effectiveness of mantram meditation and explains the results of the research as well as a simplified technique in the books The Relaxation Response, and Beyond the Relaxation Response : How to Harness the Healing Power of Your Personal Beliefs .The method:Chose a mantra (word or short phrase). There are two theories about this choice. One theory claims that words which are neutral or meaningless (like Hindu words) are ideal. I prefer the other theory which states choose a mantra from your culture and religious background which is meaningful to you. Of course you could go to the Himalayas and search for many years until you find a real Guru and then after many years be given your ideal mantra, but that's too much for me....The type of mantra used are: "Hail Mary...."; "Our Father...." "One"; "God"; "Adoni"; "Alah"; "Alah-o-Akbar"; "Peace"; "Love"; "Om"; "Ram." The list is endless. I suggest you try a few and discover which resonates the best for you.Once you have your mantra, sit down in a comfortable posture and make sure you will not be disturbed (turn off the phone). You can sit on a chair if you want or sit on a mat, or pillow in a lotus or semi-lotus position. Make sure you are comfortable. As you become an expert in the mantra meditation you can concentrate on the posture. Now repeat your mantra for a predetermine period of time. You can use a tape for timing purpose. If you want to meditate for ten minutes, record ten minutes of silence and then a bell or soothing music to give the end of your meditation period.As you repeat your mantra, thoughts will enter your mind. When you notice these thoughts just note that you have thoughts and return to the mantra. Ideally in the beginning you want to do at least twenty minutes a day. Later on you may cut down.There are many health benefits of this type of meditation and if you use a spiritual mantra which is meaningful to you there is much spiritual benefit. Even if you use a neutral mantra like "One" the health benefits alone will boost your self-esteem.

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Another reason that meditation, self-hypnosis or any such technique will boost your self-esteem is that by taking ten twenty minutes a day for yourself you are showing yourself that you are worthy of love and care.

Day 241:Boost your self-esteem by pausing at times

Yesterday I heard that the father of a dear friend had passed away. I felt very sad for her and try as I may I could not come up with any topic for today's article. I just did not feel like writing. So I gave myself permission to go to sleep early and gave myself a suggestion to wake up in the middle of the night. It is now four in the morning and I am writing this. There are times that we cannot do what we had planned to do. Typically we become frustrated and anxious at these times. This makes us perform in even a worse manner and so we enter a vicious cycle. We become more frustrated and anxious and more paralyzed. Under these circumstances it is best to first accept whatever is and then relax and do nothing having full faith that once we relax and pause the situation will solve itself.Now, after pausing, we can start the positive cycle. Having relaxed we may start with the task at hand in a neutral fresh position. This will allow us to start with a little success. In this case for me the difficult task was to come up with an appropriate topic to write about. Even now I am not writing as fast as I normally would but I am getting this article written. If I had insisted on writing it last night I might have got nowhere and just ended up frustrating myself more.A great part of boosting your self-esteem arises from being kind and compassionate to everyone. We often forget that we are part of everyone and whereas we find it relatively easy to be kind and compassionate to others (specially strangers from a great theoretical distance) we are very harsh and unforgiving to ourselves and our loved ones. This is a prescription for lowering our self-esteem. On the other hand if we can forgive ourselves and give ourselves unconditional love and support the way a wise parent would we will boost our self-esteem.The issue about the wise parent is very important. A wise parent gives unconditional love but also has discipline and loving encouragement and demands. It is very easy to become self-indulgent and selfish in the name of self-esteem. In fact self-indulgence, selfishness and narcissism are inauthentic ways and they lower our self-esteem. You can only raise your self-esteem by a realistic assessment of yourself. You do need to go very easy on yourself but at the same time you need to discipline yourself so that you do get the job at hand done. So that you do change yourself for the better. So that you continue improving your life in the long run. However, in the short run you need to be able to forgive yourself for setbacks. Remember that life has ups and down and "this too shall pass."Please take a moment and send your blessings to all who have passed away and their relatives and loved ones. This includes yourself. From the time we are children we face death and have friends and loved ones leave us until we ourselves die. Take a moment and send your departed loved ones blessings and love. And in your mind's eye give yourself a hug and protective love from them.....

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Day 242:Boost your self-esteem by respecting your elders

I was reading a book about the life of Maulana (Our Master) Jalal-E-Din Rumi by the dervish historian Eflaki who lived a hundred years after the great mystic. For those people who may have never heard of Rumi he is one of the top Iranian mystical poets who lived 1207-1273 C.E. (common era). Rumi is currently the number one selling poet in the United States. I'm not changing Rumi's story to modernize it. Please remember that he said it for a Moslem milieu and the point about the Jew was to emphasize the respect owed to our elders. In fact Rumi had many Christian and Jewish diciples He said, "There are many roads to Mecca," meaning that the different faiths were in fact manifestations of the same single truth....Jalal was one day lecturing, when a young man of distinction came in, pushed his way, and took a seat higher up than an old man, one of the audience.Jalal immediately said, "A long time ago God commanded that if any man should take precedence over an elder, the earth should swallow him up at once. But now young men have no respect for age...."It happened one morning that the Victorious Lion of God, Ali (the cousin and son in law of the Prophet), was hastening from his house to perform his devotions at dawn in the mosque of the Prophet. On his way, he overtook an old man, a Jew, who was going in the same direction. The future Caliph, out of innate nobility and politeness of nature, had respect for the Jew's age, and would not pass him, though the Jew's pace was slow. When Ali reached the mosque, the Prophet was already bowed down in his devotions, and was about to chant the 'Gloria' but by God's command, Gabriel came down, laid his hand on the prophet's shoulder and stopped him so Ali could be present at the opening of the morning service."Rumi continued, "When a saint like Ali showed so much respect for a poor old misbelieving Jew, and when God viewed his respectful consideration in so highly favorable manner, you understand the importance of respecting your elders."When I read the above story by Rumi and cotrasting it with our youth oriented society I decided to write it with no comment....Another story about Mulana this time:One day Rumi asked a diciple for some sweat meats. The diciple became pleased because Jalal was quite an ascetic. He thought to himself that the Master is a bit of a hypocrite and is eatinf the sweats behind everyone's back. He hid to catch Maulana eating the sweats. He noticed Rumi leaving his house. he followed. The mystic walked for ten miles. There he found a bitch with six puupies and fed the sweats to the sickly mother. It was obvious that without this food the bitch and her pupies would have died. Rumi turned to the hiding diciple and said, "When you are love, you hear the cries of the needy from however far...."

Day 243:Boost your self-esteem by telling yourself good stories

Brain research has shown that human consciousness has a story telling function. I'll

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give two examples to explain what I mean. In split brain research, the left and right hemispheres of the brain cannot communicate with each other. When the patient's right hemisphere makes an association (between two images) which the left hemisphere (the hemisphere with the speech center) is not aware of and the researcher asks the subject why the association was made the left hemisphere makes up a story (any story) to justify the association. The other example is from my own field of hypnosis. When we give a posthypnotic suggestion to say open the window at a certain time, and after the window is opened we ask the subject why she* opened the window, she replies with some made up story such as, "The room was stuffy," or, "It was too hot." However, we know the real reason was the posthypnotic suggestion.In fact we take most of our actions because of unconscious motivation but the conscious mind thinks it's in charge and makes up stories to justify why it did what it did. We call such explanation as justification. Now let's see how these explanations affect our self-esteem.Suppose someone does a task well (gets an A for a paper at school), what story does she tell ourselves about this. A person with a high self-esteem would tell herself that she deserved the A because she worked hard and is good. A person with a low self-esteem, on the other hand, would make up an explanatory story like, "The teacher was being easy on me," or "It was just a fluke." The converse is true for negative events. The person with a high self-esteem explains the negative event as a fluke or temporary setback or learning experience while the person with the low self-esteem does the opposite thinking such thoughts as, "There I go again," or, "I am always a.....," or, "I can never get it right," and such negative thoughts.That's the theory. Now in order to boost our self-esteem we have to decide to have good explanations for the events in our lives. We need to consciously change our inner stories:

• When things go right acknowledge it as something well deserved. • Look for the silver lining in every cloud. • When things do not go your way remember that • τηισ τοο σηαλλ πασσ . • • Βε α ποσιτιϖε παρανοιαχ in your explanations. That is make up stories

that one way or another the whole universe is in a conspiracy to make your life ultimately wonderful.

• • Χελεβρατε ϖιχτοριεσ λαργε ανδ σµαλλ . As part of the celebration tell yourself that you deserved the victory.

• Use explanations from an optimistic point of view. Tell yourself why the glass is half full and the opportunities therein.

• When things go wrong take a deep breath, relax before telling yourself the explanation.

• If two explanations come to your mind accept the more positive one. • Practice at coming up with a number of positive explanations for any event. • When something goes wrong, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?"

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Day 244:Boost your self-esteem by being humble

At first this might appear counter intuitive. Some people may be asking, "How can being humble boost my self-esteem?" First let me explain what is meant by humility. As a wise priest once said, "Humility is truth." Thus when you are humble you admit to yourself (and to others) when you are good. At the same time when you are humble you have a good sense of humor about yourself and you admit that your talents are God given (given to you by nature, the Spirit, or whatever you wish to call it). That is the roots of humility. Admitting that you have talents and potentials and at the same time realizing that the talents were given to you. These talents are entrusted to you. Remember the parable of the talents. If you look after your talents and make them grow you will be given more talents.The important thing is to care for your talents. Nourish your talents. Make your talents grow, but don't take yourself too seriously. It is a fine balancing act. It is so easy to become arrogant as you achieve things. At the same time you need to celebrate your achievements. When you can achieve this fine balance and are in tune with the truth you boost your self-esteem.

Day 245:Boost your self-esteem by being congruent

Congruent means being consistent, being true to yourself. When you are congruent you do what you believe is right. You tell yourself the truth about yourself. As we mentioned yesterday, you are humble. This boosts your self-esteem.. However, when you are untrue to yourself and you try to lie to yourself, something deep within understands this lack of congruity and your self-esteem goes down. When you say, "Do as I say not as I do," you lack congruity.I was meditating earlier and I had this daydream telling me to write this article. What I am about to write about may be controversial but I would not be true to myself if I did not write about my vivid dream/vision while mediating using the mantra meditation method.In my vision I heard about the fact that more than 75% of all Americans are pro death-penalty. At the same time 66% of us believe that innocent people are executed. This means that at least forty one percent of the American population believe that it is right to execute innocent people. In my mind this is not only lack of congruity but is

Sheer bloody murder....As I said this came to me in a vision and I just wanted to write about what I believe. I am humble enough to understand this is just one person's opinion and I could well be right. The gist of today's piece is on consistency. All I am asking is for people to check their own views on all sorts of things and see where there are inconsistencies within their belief systems. Check for incongruities between what the believe and how they act.In order to boost your self-esteem you can become more congruent by changing

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your belief system to make it more compatible to how you act or change your actions to make them more appropriate to your beliefs. At the same time you can examine your different beliefs and check these for consistency.Since this is a controversial article please Send us an email and let us know what you think about the above issue.By the way talking about lack of congruity I want to give the medal to George W. Bush who executes more people than all civilized countries combined and has the gall to call himself pro-life.

Day 246:Boost your self-esteem by making a list of your goals for

the day There is something near magical about writing your goals or affirmations. When you write you are activating your visual, auditory and kinesthetic senses. Thus you see what you are writing (visual), you are using your muscles (kinesthetic), and typically you subvocalize (auditory). At the same time you are using your thinking faculty (what is called auditory digital in neuro-linguistic programming -- i.e. the meaning of the words you use). Thus the words you write impress themselves on your unconscious mind much stronger than if you merely say the words to yourself. This why we always recommend you write down your goals.In today's exercise each morning as soon as you wake up (or previous evening before you go to sleep) make a list of goals for the day. Break down the tasks in relatively speaking small tasks. Thus if you want to read four chapters in a book, divide this into four or eight tasks (depending on the length of the chapter). These are tasks you want to do. Always make the list longer than possible to do, but do not make it so long that it becomes absolutely impossible to achieve. Thus you stretch yourself but not so much as to break. A good test is that if you do more than 80% of the designated tasks you are being too easy on yourself and give yourself more tasks to be done. On the other hand, if you end up doing less than 50% of the tasks, give yourself fewer tasks.As you go through the day and you complete any of the tasks, put a huge tick mark next to that task and take a moment to celebrate the completion of the task. This is one of the reasons earlier I suggested to break the tasks into small chunks. This way you'll end up with plenty of little victories and celebrations. Each time you put a tick mark in your goal book, you will boost your self-esteem a little bit. This will motivate you to do next task and you end up in my favorite mode of boosting your self-esteem. This is what I call the positive cycle. In this you have successes which will boost your self-esteem and hence you'll have more successes and so on....By the way writing this article was one my tasks for today. It is a longer task (takes about an hour). I prefer splitting the tasks in half to three quarter of hour chunks. I also remembered two further issues. If you do other tasks during the day add those to your success book. Also make sure you use you daily successes to add to the list of your successes.So far (8:00 p.m.) I have done 14 tasks out of 29 designated for today. So I believe I have written the right size chunks for the day.

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Day 247:Boost your self-esteem by making a list of advantages

and disadvantages of a goalWriting ideas down we have previously mentioned is an ideal way of communicating with your unconscious mind. Previously we have recommended you make the following lists:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ συχχεσσεσ . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ τηινγσ ψου χαν δο το

ιµπροϖε ψουρσελφ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ γοαλσ φορ τηε

δαψ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ −ΙΙ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ χηανγινγ ψουρ βελιεφ σψστεµσ -- in this

we use a list of times in the past you have demonstrated the positive trait. Today we suggest a way of changing habits or reaching goals by making a list of the pluses and minuses of achieving the list. The list has four parts:

Make a list of negative aspects of current habit or what negative things would happen if you did not reach this goal.

Make a list of what you gain by having the current habit or not achieving the goal.

Make a list of what you gain when you have achieved the goal or changed the habit.

Make a list of what you would lose by reaching the goal or changing the habit. Lists 1 and 3 above should be made as long as possible. Write the lists based on strong feelings and not just logical thinking. Use vivid action verbs in this lists. Lists 2 and 4 are the secondary gain of the current habit or procrastinating with the goal. These two are good indicators of the obstacles in your way.I want to give an example of how I use this process in my practice for smoking cessation. I tell my clients to make four emotionally strong lists answering these questions:

What do I lose if I remain a smoker? What do I gain if I remain a smoker? What will I gain when I become a nonsmoker? What will I lose when I become a nonsmoker?

Note the way the questions are worded with the implication of success. I ask my client to make the lists as long as possible. I let the client know that when the unconscious mind knows the reason for change, it will provide the method. The more vivid and emotionally strong reasons, the easier the change will be. Try to come up with a list which is at list ten long for questions 1 and 3. Now work on these answers and make them feeling based. For example change "I will die early," to "I won't be able to see my daughter graduate." The second answer will impress itself much more on your unconscious mind. For question 3 instead of, "I'll save money," write, "I'll be able to buy that red dress I've been wanting for the last three

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months," or "I'll be able to take my family to Hawaii."As far as the questions 2 and 4 are concerned just be honest. Relax and write as many answers that come to your mind. Then question these answers. For example using the above case of becoming a nonsmoker again many people are worried about gaining weight. Now the reality is that smokers get dehydrated and the rehydration will increase their water weight slightly. So be ready to gain a few pounds and change your eating habits by having good snacks like carrots and fruits handy.When you use the above technique of list making you'll discover that it will be much easier to change your habits and reach your goals. This in turn will boost your self-esteem and allow you to change your unwanted habits even easier and reach larger more difficult goals.

Day 248:Boost your self-esteem by making a list of ways you can

reward yourself Writing ideas down we have previously mentioned is an ideal way of communicating with your unconscious mind. Previously we have recommended you make the following lists:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ συχχεσσεσ . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ τηινγσ ψου χαν δο το

ιµπροϖε ψουρσελφ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ γοαλσ φορ τηε

δαψ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ −ΙΙ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ χηανγινγ ψουρ βελιεφ σψστεµσ -- in this

we use a list of times in the past you have demonstrated the positive trait. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ αδϖανταγεσ ανδ

δισαδϖανταγεσ οφ α γοαλ Today we suggest a way of changing habits or reaching goals by making a list of the various ways you can reward yourself for a job well done. One of the ways of changing behavior is through use of Pavlovian conditioning techniques. Here we reward correct behavior by reinforcing the correct behavior with immediate rewards. You can also use negative reinforcement but recent research has shown in most cases positive reinforcement works much better.Note the following rules of reinforcement:

• Timing is of utmost importance. The reinforcement must be during or immediately after the behavior. Let's see what this means about becoming overweight. The positive reinforcement (pleasure of eating the food) is immediate. The negative reinforcement (not fitting in that sexy dress) comes much later. In order to reduce your weight you need to change your positive reinforcement by getting to enjoy good foods (fruits and vegetables) and use negative associations (we use hypnosis and NLP in • τηε Μιχηελανγελο Ωειγητ Ρεδυχτιον ΣεµιναρΤ to change our associations to food).

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• Random reinforcement is much better than continuous reinforcement. • Jackpot reinforcements help. Thus at random times give an extra large

reward for the behavior. • In the beginning you may need to reinforce the behavior all the time. Later

you need to randomize the rewards. • At the same time as you use variable reinforcements you need to also have

scheduled reinforcements. Thus getting paid on a fixed schedule is an example of a fixed reinforcement.

• You need different rewards -- again you need a variety of reinforcers. • Except for the jackpot rewards the size of the reinforcers should be

proportional to the task in hand. So make a list of different ways you can reward yourself. You need to make the list as long as possible and have small and large rewards. Now in order to use the reward whenever you do the new behavior you want to reinforce, immediately use an appropriate size reward. When using the system on yourself, get a loved one to give you the variable rewards.You can use the same system of rewards to change other people's behavior. Make a list of things you can reward them with. Now catch them doing the right behavior and immediately reward the person. Use the above system of timing. At first reward every time the person does the desired behavior and then vary the reinforcement remembering at times to give a jackpot reinforcer.This is an urban myth about psychology students -- it may have actually happened once:In a psychology department the professor was teaching operant conditioning. The students decided to use conditioning techniques on the professor. They conspired together to force the professor on the window shelf to the left of the lecture theater. So next week the students would be attentive whenever the professor would move to the left and would be bored and yawning when he would move to the right. This started the professor unconsciously moving to the left of the center of the lecture theater. Now the students changed their center of attention moving it all the time to the left. And slowly but surely the professor moved to the left. Eventually again the students changed their center of attention to the window. Now they paid attention only when the professor was near the window. The professor moved nearer and nearer to the window and eventually before the lecture was done the professor was sitting on the window shelf and completing the lecture from that position.So make that list of rewards and use the power of conditioning to change your (and other people's) behaviors and boost your self-esteem.

Day 249:Boost your self-esteem by making a list of times you

have been luckyWriting ideas down we have previously mentioned is an ideal way of communicating with your unconscious mind. Previously we have recommended you make the following lists:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ συχχεσσεσ .

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• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ τηινγσ ψου χαν δο το ιµπροϖε ψουρσελφ.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ γοαλσ φορ τηε δαψ.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ −ΙΙ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ χηανγινγ ψουρ βελιεφ σψστεµσ -- in this

we use a list of times in the past you have demonstrated the positive trait. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ αδϖανταγεσ ανδ

δισαδϖανταγεσ οφ α γοαλ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ωαψσ ψου χαν ρεωαρδ

ψουρσελφ Today we suggest you make a list of times in the past when you have been lucky. This is part of teaching you that the universe is a friendly place and remaining optimistic. The best of the list is when you write about times when you were disappointed over something and later on you discovered that this was in fact a positive event.A few years ago I interviewed for a job which seemed very interesting at the time. I was extremely disappointed not to get that job. A few months later I was in a much better position while the company who had not wanted me was involved in a new business in which I could not in good conscience work in. I was now so glad that they had not chosen me.A month ago I went for an interview for a job that seemed ideal. The company liked me but decided at the last moment to change their business model so they did not need me. I am highly disappointed, but knowing about the previous time that disappointments turned to positive outcomes I am not as disappointed as would be. Deep down I know that what is going on just now (I'm still looking for a new day job -- anyone need an excellent embedded systems software engineer contractor?) will end to the best for me.The reason I wrote the above is twofold:

• Firstly -- using the methods in this series does not mean that you will never be disappointed nor will be up all the time. Your moods do go up and down depending on what is going on in your life. Your momentary self-esteem again does go up and down. By using these techniques your overall (long term) self-esteem will continue to go up and you'll be able to face up to disappointments much easier. Also by using these techniques you will minimize the down times and maximize your up times.

• Secondly to show how making this list will help you be • µορε οπτιµιστιχ and help you be • α ποσιτιϖε παρανοιαχ as recommended in earlier articles.

The method:Make a list of all the good things that have happened to you. Include in the list the big things in life: my partner, co-author, lover, wife made a wrong turn when looking for an apartment and ended up in the same apartment block as I was living in. We met fell in love and were married. Thus this wrong turn was one of the luckiest moments in our lives. Also include the small things. Include the time you

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were late for a meeting and every light was green or the time you found that perfect parking spot. Make the list as long as you can and at the same time keep the list so that you can keep adding to it as you have more luck.I wish to end this article with a few comments about luck. I believe in the long run luck is making the best of opportunities. Thus when you feel lucky and optimistic about finding a parking spot you'll drive a little slower being more vigilant in looking for a parking spot and thus improve your chances or finding a parking spot.Also you make your luck by being prepared. Thus if you study hard for an exam you'll increase your chances of being lucky. Now having studied hard, if you feel lucky and optimistic it will be much easier to search your memory and allow your unconscious mind to give you the correct answers.Finally there are synchronicities, these are coincidences which make sense to the mind like dreaming about your aunt Suzy and the next morning she phones you. I'll write an article about my mentor, hero C.G.Jung and synchronicity later on. By making a list of times you have been lucky you will train your mind to notice the synchronicities of your life.So boost your self-esteem by making a list of times you have been lucky.

Day 250:Boost your self-esteem by starting a success journal

Writing ideas down we have previously mentioned is an ideal way of communicating with your unconscious mind. Previously we have recommended you make the following lists:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ συχχεσσεσ . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ τηινγσ ψου χαν δο το

ιµπροϖε ψουρσελφ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ γοαλσ φορ τηε

δαψ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ −ΙΙ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ χηανγινγ ψουρ βελιεφ σψστεµσ -- in this

we use a list of times in the past you have demonstrated the positive trait. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ αδϖανταγεσ ανδ

δισαδϖανταγεσ οφ α γοαλ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ωαψσ ψου χαν ρεωαρδ

ψουρσελφ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ τιµεσ ψου ηαϖε βεεν

λυχκψ Today we suggest you put all your lists and other things you learn from this series and other sources in a single book. This way as you have more successes you can immediately add them to your success book. Each day you can write your goals in the book. When something does not work out the way you hoped you can note it and ask the question, "What did I learn from this experience and how can I do better next time?" In fact this is an excellent question to ask and answer at the end of each day

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when it is time to review the day.First thing in the morning when it's time to preview the day you can ask this type of question: "What can I do today to XXXX?" Where XXXX is one of your top goals. Let's say your top financial goal is to earn $80,000.00 a year, you can ask, "What can I do today to earn $80,000.00 a year?" Then write down as many answers as comes to your mind.

The method:Get a notebook and different colored pens. Write on the cover in huge letters, "My Success Book." Start the book with a few pages for you list of successes. The rest is free form. As a wise man once said, "A life worth living is worth recording." So write, write, write in the success book. Keep the book handy and refer to it often. Keep your goals in this book and keep asking good questions and write your answers down. When you have an important task to do read the book, specially you list of successes. As I have written above, preview and review your days and write down what you have learned and how you can improve your life. A very important thing about your success book is to keep working with it. There will be days that you may be too busy to write anything. Write something the next day. Keep writing and boost your self-esteem.

Day 251:Boost your self-esteem by living in the moment

Too often we live in the past or in the future. Actually it is impossible to live in any other time other than the present. It is our focus which can be in the past or the future. Now if we look back to the past remembering our successes or look forward to the future successes from the point of view of the present moment, that 's all right. When we do that, we boost our self-esteem.However, too often people remember past failures and are anxious for the future. This lowers the self-esteem and makes one even more anxious for the future.When you live in the moment, you end up being more efficient at whatever you are doing and thus succeed more and boost your self-esteem. The best way to live in the present is to learn to relax and concentrate on the task in hand. Consciously put "blinkers" on and concentrate on whatever you are doing. When thoughts of the past or future intrude simply note that by saying to yourself, "An extraneous thought..." and go back to the present moment.When no matter what you do your mind demands to go to the past open your success book and read your list of successes and when thinking about the future move your mind toward your top goals. As I wrote above, you cannot help but be in the present moment no matter what you do. As the Zen masters say, "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.... After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water...." The same is true about living in the moment. The wise and the fools live in the present moment. The fools do not appreciate that they are living in the present moment and waste their energies in a negative past or uncertain and gloomy future. They spend so much psychic energy that they lose sight of what is going on and what needs be done. The wise understand that when you appreciate deep down that you live in the moment you can concentrate on what needs be done and achieve more

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and boost your self-esteem.

Day 252:Boost your self-esteem by using your imagination

Too often we get stuck in a rut doing the same thing over and over again. When we use our imaginations we become creative and may come up with different and potentially better ways of solving our problems. Typically imagination is a right brain function and needs be supplemented with left brain functions such as logic.The following exercises will improve your power of imagination:

• Daydreaming. • Self-hypnosis and meditation. • Doodling and drawing -- especially with your less used hand (left hand if you

are right handed). • Stream of consciousness writing -- just write as fast as you can with no

editing or thinking about what you are writing. • Improvising in a skill you have -- you can improvise in many things (music,

poetry, cooking, dancing....). • Read an exiting book. • Read a play -- when you read a play you are forced to use your imagination

to see the play in your mind's eye. • Write stories -- these can be anything from short short stories to novels. Just

writing fiction is a great exercise for your imagination. How to use your imagination for problem solving?First write down your problem in a precise manner. Now ask your unconscious mind to come up with an answer. Then choose one of the first four methods above (Daydreaming, self-hypnosis or meditation, doodling, stream of consciousness writing) and give your unconscious mind the suggestion that you want to work on this problem and use the method.An excellent way of solving problems is to start with some self-hypnosis, meditation or daydreaming. Then write or draw the results as fast as possible. You may need to repeat this a few times. Thus daydream and write your solutions and daydream some more and write a different set of solutions. It is important to write or draw many solutions each time as one's link to one's unconscious mind is established through the fast writing (drawing) and once you are in the rapid writing phase your imagination may roam free. Continue using these techniques (depending in the size of the problem over a few days if needs be) until you have many solutions to your problem.Now use your logical mind to sift through the solutions and reject some for being impractical and develop others. You may need to iterate between use of your right and left brains.Doing the above exercises for increasing your powers of imagination will make you more creative and intelligent, a better problem solver, while allowing you to have more fun, and thus boost your self-esteem.

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Day 253:Boost your self-esteem by using your will power

Your will power is like anything else in your body and mind. Use it, and it becomes stronger. Don't use it and it atrophies. Earlier we have given different exercises earlier which do strengthen your will power:

• • Γιϖε υπ α µινορ αδδιχτιον φορ α δαψ ανδ βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ γιϖινγ υπ α µιλδ ∀αδδιχτιον∀ φορ α

ωεεκ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ χηανγινγ α ηαβιτ φορ α ωεεκ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ φαστινγ φορ α δαψ .

No I want to suggest you actually practice using your will power as an exercise in order to strengthen it. You can use the above methods. Here are some other ways of practicing your will power:

• Give up something for "lent." If you have to have something often (say chocolate -- give it up for a while). I don't mean actually waiting until lent comes around. Do it now. However, you may find it easier to strengthen your will power with God's help. Thus Moslems, go through the month of Ramadan without eating, drinking, or smoking between sunrise and sunset. Not drinking in the hot desert climate of many Moslem countries is a very difficult task for the will power and is almost impossible outside the month of Ramadan However, once faith helps one's will power one can do the impossible.

• Change a small habit but do it consciously and very precisely. Thus if you habitually shave starting in one place, shave in a different way.

• Change your toilet paper for a week. People like to have their toilet paper "over" or "under" and hate it if it is in the wrong direction. Use your will power to enjoy it in the wrong direction for a week.

• Give up your favorite TV program for a week. It will not be the end of the world. At least I don't think it will be. I tried it and the world continued.....

• Eat something you do not like. • Decide to do something that frightens you and do it. As they say," Feel the

fear and do it!" • Chose something that you know is good for you and you are avoiding and do

it. Say you hate to exercise, then exercise. As you exercise your will power, it will strengthen and you can use it to tackle larger tasks. Anyway, as soon as you use your will power you will boost your self-esteem.

Day 254:Boost your self-esteem by accepting setbacks

We have earlier mentioned that perfectionism is one of the worst enemies of self-esteem. Not accepting setbacks is a sign of perfectionism and is a major cause of giving up. So often we set such a high standard for ourselves that we are bound to fail our expectations and have a setback. Under these circumstances, it is so easy to note a

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setback and say to oneself, "Why bother. I am not going to be able to do it." However, when we understand that minor (and even major) setbacks are a natural part of arriving at our goals we can use the setbacks to help us move toward those goals.When you have a setback, ask yourself good positive questions such as:

• "What can I learn by this?" • "Do I need to change my goal or sub-goal?" • "How can I use this setback to egg me on toward my goal?" • "Where is the silver lining in this cloud?" • "What is humorous about this situation?" It is important not to take life over

seriously and always see the humor all around us. • "Was my original expectation too tough?"

And then having asked the questions go back to doing whatever you were doing. Remember the saying, "If it is worth doing, it's worth doing well," has some truth, but so has the statement, "Something is better than nothing."Another thing to remember when you have a setback is that we learn through our setbacks and if life was all plain sailing, it would be pretty boring. So next time you have a setback accept it as part of reaching your goal and learn the lessons within and boost your self-esteem.

Day 255:Boost your self-esteem by making a list of what you are

thankful for Writing ideas down we have previously mentioned is an ideal way of communicating with your unconscious mind. Previously we have recommended you make the following lists:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ συχχεσσεσ . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ τηινγσ ψου χαν δο το

ιµπροϖε ψουρσελφ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ψουρ γοαλσ φορ τηε

δαψ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α ωιση λιστ −ΙΙ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ χηανγινγ ψουρ βελιεφ σψστεµσ -- in this

we use a list of times in the past you have demonstrated the positive trait. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ αδϖανταγεσ ανδ

δισαδϖανταγεσ οφ α γοαλ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ ωαψσ ψου χαν ρεωαρδ

ψουρσελφ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ µακινγ α λιστ οφ τιµεσ ψου ηαϖε βεεν

λυχκψ We have mentioned that an attitude of gratitude boosts your self-esteem by making you realize how lucky you have been in the past and by making you appreciate your past successes and achievements. Today we suggest you make a list of things you are

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thankful for. Write the list inside your success journal and make it as long as possible.Write down all the things you are happy for from small to large. It is good if you write out sentences in the form: "I, <your name>, am thankful for...". So earlier today it rained in Southern California and then it was a most beautiful day with the sun shining through some fantastic clouds. So I wrote:

• "I, Javad, am grateful for the wonderful day." • "I, Javad, am thankful that I am breathing this clean air." • "I, Javad, am thankful that we are getting more than 1000 page visits to our

web site a day." My list goes on and on. A great number of them have to do with how lucky I feel that I am with my co-author, partner, lover, friend and wife. When I write about this it makes me appreciate her even more and makes our relationship even better.At this moment I am in between contracts for my day job (I am a software engineer consultant as well as a being a clinical hypnotherapist). No matter how high one's self-esteem is, it is difficult not become slightly discouraged when in between jobs. However, by writing all the list of things that I'm grateful for I renewed my energy and could use my day in a better way.In order to use this method to the best, it is useful each morning to write a few topics in your success journal that you can be thankful for. Thus today make a long list of everything you can be grateful for. Tomorrow ask the question again: "What am I thankful for today?" And then when you have written a few answers ask, "What else can I be thankful for?" And then ask, "What else?" As I have mentioned earlier, the human brain is a most wondrous answering machine and will come up with reasonable answers to all and any questions. When you ask positive enabling questions, you'll get positive enabling answers and you'll boost your self-esteem.

Day 256:Boost your self-esteem by writing a letter of

appreciation to a dead person.Before we started writing this series we came up with 436 different ideas for articles. Earlier the hard disk on the computer we were using to write these articles crashed and since then we have been coming up with new ideas each day. Today I discovered a floppy disk which had the original ideas backed up. I searched through the ideas and the first idea that we had not written about was the above. As soon as I saw the idea I knew I had to write about it. It is an extremely powerful spiritual method of releasing the past and moving on with life. It boosts your self-esteem and improves your life in all sorts of different ways.So often when our loved ones die we have so much things left unsaid. There are all the times we wanted to share our love and we were too busy. There are the resentments. Even in the best relationship there moments of hurt and conflict. There are those times we would like to forgive the person. Perhaps the relationship was abusive and we are not yet ready to forgive. It would be best for you if you could forgive as early as possible. However, you cannot force things to go much faster than their natural course. There are methods that we have discussed and will discuss

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which help produce short cuts in getting over hurt. But each person has to go through life at her* own pace. The point is that in most intimate relationships there are loving moments and hurtful moments. Even the best relationship has hurtful moments and even the most abusive relationship has loving moments. In your letter start by using the person's name and end it with your signature. Then write a few loving times. Write how you feel in your own words. Write about missing the dead person. Continue adding loving thoughts as long as you can.Now start a new paragraph, and write about hurtful times. End each hurtful occasion you mention with some words equivalent of: "Knowing that at any given time we do the best we can given the psychological resources available to us, I forgive you with all the love I'm capable of at this moment." If this is too hard to write and is not how you feel, you can write instead something like: "Knowing that at any given time we do the best we can given the psychological resources available to us, the Christ within me forgives the Christ within you." If even this one does not feel right to you, you can change the word forgive to will forgive or hope to forgive in the future.Finally end the letter with more memories of the good times you had together and sign it. Keep the letter in a book which is meaningful to you (the Bible, Torah, Koran, I Ching, Tao Te Ching, or whatever book gives you spiritual support) for a few days. After the few days are up burn the letter or tear it up and say, "I release you and send you love....."One way of making this even more powerful is to write the letter near the anniversary of your loved one's death. On the anniversaries destroy the letter at the departed one's grave site or somewhere that you know your loved one would appreciate. My parents are buried in Paris, but they loved the sea. So I went to the beach to burn my letter.As the smoke rises imagine that it is taking your thoughts to your loved one.I want to end this article by adding a couple of thoughts about the theory involved. This method works on a psychological basis because it clears the blockages in your neural nets even if there is no soul and Spirit. It works for the total materialist as a purely psychological technique. However, if you do believe in spirituality, understand that according to mystics there is no time and space in the spiritual world, and this method improves your relationship with your loved one in the past as well as in the present and the future.No matter whether you are a total materialist, a highly spiritual person, or somewhere in between use this technique and notice how much it improves the quality of your life and boosts your self-esteem.

Day 257:Boost your self-esteem by not accepting no as the final

answer.First of all please understand that I'm not writing about when people tell you no in a relationship situation. I am writing about business situations. Did you know that on average a company says no to a salesperson five times before buying from that

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salesperson. However the majority of salespersons never go back after the first no. A few try a second time. Even fewer try the third, fourth and fifth times. Those excellent salespersons are the ones who make the huge commissions.Those of you who follow this series may know that I am currently looking for a new software engineering contracting job. A few weeks ago a contracting agency forwarded my resume to a large company. The company sent me a software test. I answered everything meticulously. I took my time answering the questions. In fact I spent more than fourteen hours writing programs and answering the questions. I was sure that I would get an interview. However, as they say, "The best plans of mice and men...." Anyway I was quite disappointed that I did not even get a phone interview.Earlier this week as I was searching the Internet for potential contracts, I saw an ad from the same company. The job specification looked very similar to the one I had applied for before. I still thought that there was an excellent match between my capabilities and their needs. Even so at first I thought, "Why bother, they have already rejected me."Please understand that no matter how much self-esteem you have you will at times feel dejected and ask questions such as. "Why bother?" The difference between people with high self-esteem and those with low self-esteem is how quickly they recover from natural setbacks and what they do in face of difficulties.After a few minutes I thought to myself, "What do I have to lose?" Either they will not remember that they did not want me a few weeks ago and perhaps I'll get an interview or they will remember and I'll be back exactly where I am. So I sent in my resume.As soon as I took that action I felt my self-esteem rising. The results are irrelevant. It does not matter if I get an interview or not the point is that I took action under circumstances where I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.Another thing that I have done during my job search is to send emails thanking a person whose company changed its plan and decided to outsource their need instead of using me. First of all it is good manners but also it is good marketing. Do not accept no in these cases as necessarily the final answer and boost your self-esteem.

Day 258:Boost your self-esteem by accepting that some days you

did get up out of the wrong side of the bed.Today once more the gremlins were hard at work and Murphy's law ruled supreme. I discovered that the new multifunction fax/printer/copier/scanner that I bought a month ago does not work in the scanner/copier and fax transmit mode. The store I bought it from said that they could only exchange it in the first 14 days but the manager kindly (I smiled and went in there with an attitude that he would exchange it) offered to exchange it if they had another one, but they did not. So I phoned the manufacturer and was on hold for more than half an hour. Eventually I spoke to a person who said I should fax in the warranty. I explained that I had faxed it originally but the fax function did not work. She replied that that did not matter and I should go to a store and fax it to them. I went to the office and faxed it to them

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but God knows when they'll do something about it.Then Elaine's (my co-author of these series) computer would not boot. The chances are that I'll need to reinstall Windows again on that machine.... Gee thank you for the thousandth's time Mr. Bill Gates, may you one day get what you deserve. Please understand that as a professional software engineer I suffer a huge amount from Microsoft's products crashing. Hence my frustration with Bill Gates. Please make your products work before coming up with newer products.... But that always falls on deaf ears. I have never had such problems with my Mac or UNIX machines....Anyway I sat down and I could not come up with anything to write for today's piece. I sat in front of the computer and no ideas came to me. Elaine suggested that I take it easy and write about today's frustrating events. So here I am using a frustrating day to a slight advantage.So what are the lessons of today for boosting your self-esteem?When you are having a bad day:

• • Αχχεπτ that you'll have some bad days. • • Τακε ιτ εασψ ον ψουρσελφ and understand that • ψου αρε νοτ τηε

ταργετ. • Focus on what is good in your life. • Rest. • • Μεδιτατε . • Do something easy which is fun -- we are watching a James Bond movie --

easy escapist fun. • Read one of these • 365 ωαψσ οφ βοοστινγ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ .

Day 259:Boost your self-esteem by starting the day well.

Yesterday I suggested you boost your self-esteem by accepting that some days you did get up out of the wrong side of the bed. Today I want to suggest you make sure you have fewer such days by starting the day with something positive. This allows you to face the day with greater optimism and hope. Once the day starts well the chances are that it will continue well. As I wrote for yesterday's piece, yesterday was a frustrating day. I faced up to that with accepting what was going on. However, the reason why I emphasize accepting what is, is to not to sit passively and accept the bad as well as the good but to take the first step toward changing the situation.Thus last night before going to sleep I did extra meditation and decided that the very first thing I would do this morning was to make a list of reasons I am thankful. So as soon I woke up before doing anything else I went to my success book and reviewed the list of reasons that I am thankful. Next I looked over the list of my successes. Now I was ready to meditate and be ready to start the day.I had to do much work to restore Elaine's computer. It was still a frustrating day. However, it was much less frustrating day than it would have been if I had not started the day well. I knew that no matter what was going on at this moment, the day would end well. By now Elaine's computer has been restored and all is well again.

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The reason I mention all of today's events is to show you that knowing the theory alone is not good enough. I know that on many days I end up being too lazy to do the things I know I ought to do. Too many days I do not use my success journal or meditate. It is important to forgive yourself for not looking after yourself the way you could. But this forgiveness need be done in the spirit of not repeating the error. It would be much better if you would use your success journal every single day. Same is true with meditation. However, it is of utmost importance to use these techniques on important days of your life or days after you have had a bad day. It is very important to use the methods in this series and your success book just before tackling extra difficult tasks.So start your day well by using your success journal and have a wonderful day and boost your self-esteem.

Day 260:Boost your self-esteem by going to bed early.

We are so busy doing all sorts of things that often we end up with sleep deprivation. This causes sleepiness during the day which means we do not do our tasks as well as we could. Lack of sleep is also bad for our health. But the most important aspect of lack of sleep as far as our self-esteem is concerned is the question, "Who are the most important people in your life?" I propose you should be one of the most important people in your life.Some of you may think that is being selfish. My point is that suppose your children are the most important people in your life, if you do not look after yourself and you become sick you cannot look after your children as well as you would. If you lack sleep and cannot pay full attention to your spouse, you are not being as a good a spouse as you would desire.But my real point about the above question is to compare how you value yourself versus the TV (or the Internet) or other relatively speaking trivial things which keep you up at night and give you sleep deprivation. By turning the TV off early and sleeping, you tell yourself that you value yourself and hence boost your self-esteem.Some people may use the TV to wind down and go to sleep. The worse possible thing to do (if you live the United States) is to watch the TV news. You see so much violence that your sleep will be disturbed. Chances are you'll need to watch something else to recover from the local news. I suggest you use other techniques to go to sleep:

• Read. I suggest you read something positive. I read a few paragraphs from a motivational book.

• Write in your • συχχεσσ ϕουρναλ . • • Μεδιτατε . • Drink some warm milk. • Use • σελφ−ηψπνοσισ . • Count sheep. Anything repetitive will do. Give yourself the suggestion that

when you count down from one hundred to one you will drop into a deep restful sleep before you reach one.

• Listen to soothing classical music.

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• Have a warm shower or bath. • Train yourself by having a fixed time for sleeping. • Get up early in the morning so that you will be tired by the evening.

Remember early to bed, early to rise, makes your healthy, wealthy, and wise. So go to bed early. Get that well deserved rest and boost your self-esteem.

Day 261:Boost your self-esteem by contemplating what it means

to be a human being.Before you continue reading, just think about the above for yourself.....I just want to make some comments from different philosophers and mystics. Some I remember the source and unfortunately others I do not. Please read each part slowly and think about it before moving on to the next:

• Remember that you are a human being and not a human doing. • We are spirits having a material experience not bodies having a spiritual

experience. • It has taken about 15 billion years of cosmic evolution to produce you. • What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties!

in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! (William Shakespeare -- Hamlet II, ii)

• The kingdom of heaven is within. (Jesus Christ) • Human beings are angels with a single wing. They need to work together to

fly. • There are three types of creatures: First one is made of reason, generosity

and faith -- this is called the angel. Next one has no knowledge, and just eats and sleeps never aware of the future -- this is called animal. And then there is the children of Adam, half-angel, half-donkey. (• ϑαλαλ−Ε−∆ιν Ρυµι )

• Man was created God's image. (Genesis) • "Our Father...." (Jesus Christ) • The king of the universe is my Father. I am the prince-successor to all His

kingdom of power, wealth, and wisdom. (• Παραµαηανσα Ψογανανδα ) • All this (spirituality, civilization, art, sciences, philosophy -- the human quest)

is merely an artifact of DNA's unthinking need to reproduce. • We share 98.5% of our genes (DNA) with Chimpanzees. • Homo Sapiens est Homo Ludens : Human beings are game playing (fun

loving) animals. (Literally: Man the Wise is Man the Gameplayer). • What a thing is man! Among all wonders, the wonder of the world is man

himself. (Sophocles -- Antigone) • There are present in all men destructive, and therefore anti-social and anti-

cultural, trends and that in a great number of people these are strong enough to determine their behavior in human society. (Sigmund Freud -- The Future

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of an Illusion) • The three Abrahamic religions professing peace and love for all humanity

cannot even get along in a single city -- Jerusalem. • Religion is the opiate of the masses. (Karl Marx) • Mother Theresa and Hitler were both human beings. • There is a spark of the Divine in every human being. • Is it the fate of modern man to be neurotic, to be afraid of life? My answer is

yes, if we define modern man as a member of a culture whose dominant values are power and progress. (Alexander Lowen, M.D. -- Fear of Life)

• In all races and in all climes, in all countries and at all times, the watchword for the groping and struggling humanity has always been freedom! ..... Only spiritual freedom is absolute and unlimited. When it is won through persistent effort, it is secured forever. (Meher Baba)

• The healthy individual has no compulsive morality because he has no impulses which call for inhibition. (Wilhelm Reich)

• The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path of genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge. (Albert Einstein -- Out of my later years)

• Without Contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate, are necessary to Human existence.... Everything that lives is Holy. (William Blake -- The marriage of heaven and hell)

• Self-Actualizing people: avoid publicity, fame, glory, honors, popularity, celebrity or at least do not seek it. It seems not awfully important one way or another. (Abraham H. Maslow -- The further reaches of human nature)

• Even as a solid rock does not move on account of the wind, so are the wise not shaken in the face of blame or praise. (The Dhammapada -- Buddhist scripture)

• The wisest man is is an ape compared to God, just as the most beautiful ape is ugly compared to man. (Heraclitus)

• A man who is in great joy or in great pain, in his unreasonable eagerness to attain the one and to avoid the other, is not able to see or hear anything rightly. (Plato -- Timaeus)

• The gods love those nearest to them i.e. those who use their minds and sense of reason. (Aristotle -- Nicomachean Ethics)

• The good man should be a lover of self (for he will both himself profit by doing noble acts, and will benefit his fellows), but the wicked man should not; for he will hurt both himself and his neighbors. Following as he does evil passions. (Aristotle -- Nicomachean Ethics)

• Remember that you are an actor in a play, and the Playwright chooses the manner of it; if he wants it short, it is short; if long, it is long. (• Επιχτετυσ )

• The personality as a total phenomenon does not coincide with the ego, that is, with the personality, but forms an entity that has to be distinguished from the ego. (C.G. Jung -- Aion)

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• Neither the good nor evil outcome is automatic or preordained. The decision rests with man. It rests upon his ability to take himself, his life and happiness seriously; on his willingness to face his and his society's moral problem. It rests upon his courage to be himself and to be for himself.

• "Imagine...." (John Lennon) So contemplate what it means to be a human being and boost your self-esteem.

Day 262:Boost your self-esteem by preparing and then letting go.Yesterday's piece was a very power full one. I spent more time on writing it than any other article in this series. So if you have not seen it yet please read it and then return here: Boost your self-esteem by contemplating what it means to be a human being.At times we have a very important exam, interview, appointment or something similar. It is natural to feel anxious/excited about this. The reason that I wrote anxious/excited is that physiologically the two are very similar caused by adrenaline. It is our internal interpretation that changes. I want to compare the effects of acute adrenaline excess. In one case you are involved in a near car accident and in the other you are on the latest roller coaster at an amusement park. Your heart beats faster in both cases, but in one you feel fear in the other you feel a thrill. The same is true about whether you feel excited or anxious about an upcoming exam. The adrenaline's task is to make you ready for an extra burst of energy needed for passing the exam. People who interpret the feelings as excitement do well at exams and the other extreme have exam anxiety and end up doing worse in the exam than they could given their knowledge about the subject.Once I do some research I'll write an article about countering exam anxiety. However, today's piece is about the preparation phase. Before the exam spend some time preparing. Do whatever you normally do. However, a time comes that you are prepared (or it's too late) and any more time spent on preparation in fact will hinder you. It is now the time to rest and let go. I suggest the night before the important task you stop working by eight or nine at the latest and then take it easy. Watch a comedy or read something light. Meditate a bit. Have a hot bath and go to bed early.By now you have done all you could or all you would. It does not matter which. You are as prepared as you will be, so let go (and let God) and boost your self-esteem.P.S. Wish me luck for my interview today.....

Day 263:Boost your self-esteem by learning from the second law

of thermodynamics.Let's start with the physics. The second law of thermodynamics states: "It is impossible that, at the end of a cycle of changes, heat has been transferred from a colder to a hotter body without at the same time converting a certain amount of work into heat." Or to put it another way: "Energy tends to flow from more concentrated to less concentrated." Yet another way: "Left on their own, things tend toward more randomness."

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Thus left on its own a room gets more messy and dusty. An egg breaks and makes an omelet but you cannot get an egg back from the omelet. So how does this relate to self-esteem?Basically if you let go and do not improve yourself you'll fall apart. If you do not exercise you get flabby. If you do not exercise your brain, you become pretty dumb (like George W. Bush -- famous last words: "Rarely is this question asked: Is our children learning"). In today's fast paced world we need to have lifelong education and learning. A computer science graduate has a half-life of eighteen months. Thus if she* stops learning new material after completing her degree in eighteen months half of what she knows is already obsolete. In three years three quarters of what she knew is no longer valid.Most fields are not as fast paced as software engineering. However, every field is changing rapidly. Most people end up in an average of four totally different fields in their lifetime. So we have to keep learning in order to be ready for whatever comes up.Anyway the lesson from the second law for boosting your self-esteem is to keep working on yourself. Keep improving yourself in all areas of your life and boost your self-esteem.

Day 264:Boost your self-esteem by asking the right question

when sleeping on it.Earlier I suggested on boosting your self-esteem by sleeping on it. Last night I was tired and I could not come up on anything to write for today and since it was Friday night I decided to sleep on it. Before going to sleep I suggested to my unconscious mind to come up with a title for the relationship series. However, I had forgotten that I had already written on this topic (sleeping on it) and I decided to make toady's article about sleeping on your problems. So this morning when I woke up I had a topic for the other series but no topic for this.I was thinking on this and remembered that I had assumed I had an answer to the self-esteem article topic last night and so I did not ask my unconscious mind seriously to come up with a topic for this article. I told myself half heartedly to come up with something. One thing about the unconscious mind is that it always takes the path of least resistance and is very literal. Thus if you use an affirmation that next month you'll get a raise, as far as your unconscious mind is concerned the affirmation is always true since it is never next month. Hence we suggest you date your goals and give precise measurements for you goals since even if you said, "By April 15, 2001 I'll get a raise," a penny raise would make your goal true.Thus this morning when I noticed that I had already written on this topic, I asked myself, "What can I learn from this?" This time I had given my unconscious mind the right question and immediately the answer came.So I recommend that whenever you need to talk to your unconscious mind:

• Be precise. • Use emotions to convince your unconscious mind that you are serious.

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• Give it a deadline. • You can think about what you want first to jump start your unconscious

mind but then hand the problem over to the unconscious mind and let go and relax.

• Have faith that your unconscious mind will come up with a solution. • Thank your unconscious mind. • Talk to your unconscious mind in simple words.

Day 265:Boost your self-esteem by sending out love where there

is resentment.I am an extremely liberal Moslem. Most of my life I have been an atheist. In the USA I love the Jews. Politically and culturally I find the Jewish people the most similar to my own beliefs and visions. However, when the issue of Palestinian freedom and Israeli occupation of Arab lands comes up I get blind with rage. I become totally biased. I only see one side of the issue. Through various consciousness raising methods (meditation and self-hypnosis) I understand that I am having a knee jerk reaction over this issue. Many people are prejudiced and bigoted without even understanding this.I know there are two sides on each issue and I know that when one is emotionally involved in such charged things as nationality, religion, politics and such, one is bound to go wrong. So what is the solution?

Love....Love melts all resentments. Love can bring peace. The love I'm talking about is what goes on in your heart. So one of my contributions to the current situation in the Middle East is to send love and peace to all concerned. I pray as much for my Israeli brothers and sisters as I pray for my Palestinian brothers and sisters. In my branch of Islam we believe deeply in the brotherhood of humanity.Now this love that I send does not stop me from acting. I still write letters to the White House asking the President to obey all US laws about nuclear proliferation and to obey all UN resolutions and human rights conventions. I ask for a war crimes tribunal to be appointed to look at the situation. Let an international body decide what is going on. I ask my tax payer dollars not to be used to murder children. I ask for total neutrality in the way my country behaves toward this issue.Unfortunately all my pleas fall on deaf ears, so I continue writing letters and sending prayers of love and peace....The point is that when we have resentments we close our own hearts and lower our self-esteem. When we are biased, something deep down (the Self -- the observer -- the I am) understands that and our self-esteem goes down. We can counter this bias with love. I am not saying that this is easy. It is very difficult for me at this time to send love to my brother Ariel Sharron. I have to use techniques like saying: "The Christ within me sends love and peace to the Christ within you." Another prayer I find easy is to ask for is wisdom for all concerned. The other thing to do under these circumstances is to increase your own compassion

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and empathy. Finally you can visualize peace (imagine a pink light surrounding the whole planet Earth).

Day 266:Boost your self-esteem by learning from these stories by

Sadi.Sadi was another Iranian poet, a contemporary of Jalal-E-Din Rumi. Sadi was a traveler and a wanderer. He was a Sufi poet who wrote his major works "Bustan," which means the fruit garden in 1256 at the age of seventy. Two years later he wrote a mainly prose piece the "Gulistan," or Rose Garden. I am going to give you a couple of stories from the Gulistan:A king ordered an innocent person to be put to death. The man said, "Seek not your own hurt by venting any anger you may entertain against me." The king asked, "How?" He replied, "The pain of this punishment will continue with me for a moment, but the sin of it will endure with you forever. The period of this life passes by like the wind of the desert. Joy and sorrow, beauty and deformity, equally pass away. The tyrant vainly thought that he did me an injury, but round his neck it clung and passed over me." The king profited by this advice, spared his life, and asked for his forgiveness.A thief got into a holy man's cell, but however much he searched, he could not find anything to steal and was going away disappointed. The good soul was aware of what was passing, and taking up the rug on which he had slept, he put it in the thief's way so he might not go home empty handed. I have heard that the heroes on the path of God will not distress the hearts of their enemies. How can you attain this dignified station who are at warfare and strife with your friends?I observed an Arab who was informing his son: "My child, on the judgment day God will ask what have you done in your life. He will not ask you who was your dad."Two orders of mankind are the enemies of church and State: the king without clemency, and the holy man without learning (Dedicated to George W. Bush and the religious right).Genius without education is the subject of regret, and education without genius is labor lost.A theorist without practice is a tree without fruit, and a devotee without and a devotee without learning is a house without an entrance.The sinner who humbles himself in prayer is more acceptable than the devotee who is puffed up with pride. The courteous and kindhearted soldier of fortune is better than the misanthropic and learned divine.Two orders of humanity died and carried with them regret: such as had and did not spend, and such as knew and did not practice.

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Day 267:Boost your self-esteem by learning from these stories

from the Talmud.The Talmud is one of the greatest Jewish scriptures after the Torah which we know as the "Old Testament." It was compiled, organized and arranged by Rabbi Judah, who died C.E. 219. It was written down about three hundred years later. According to Jewish tradition God gave to Moses a number of unwritten laws as well as the written law (Torah). The unwritten law was passed down from priest to priest until compiled by the Rabbi Judah. Talmud means "the study," that is the material to be studied.Here is a story from the Talmud:When The Lord appeared to Solomon in Gibbon, and said to him in a dream, "What shall I give thee?" Solomon reflected, "If I ask for Gold, silver, or jewels, the Lord will give them to me; I will ask, however, for wisdom; if that is granted me, all other good things are included." Therefore, he replied, "Give to thy servant an understanding heart." Then said the Lord, "Because thou hast asked for wisdom, and requested not wealth or dominion over thy enemies, wisdom shall be thine, and through them thou shalt obtain wealth and power."Some proverbs from the Talmud:

• The doctor who prescribes gratuitously gives a worthless prescription. • The rose grows among thorns. • Do not to others what you would not have others do to you. • Few are they who see their own faults. • Teach your tongue to say. "I don't know." • Hospitality is an expression of divine worship. • Silence is the fence round wisdom. • If you tell your secret to three people, ten will know of it. • Be friendly with all mankind. • Every man will surely his hour. • Say little and do much. • Study today. Delay not! • He who is loved by man is loved by God. • Do not live near a pious fool. • The soldiers fight, and the kings are heroes. • Study is more meritorious than sacrifice. • Jerusalem was destroyed because the instruction of the young was neglected. • The world is saved by the breath of school children. Even to rebuild the

temple, the schools must not be closed. • To pray loudly is not a necessity of devotion; when we pray we must direct

our hearts toward heaven. • The Bible was given to us to establish peace. • The best preacher is the heart; the best teacher is time; the best book is the

world; the best friend is God.

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• Understand a man by his own deeds and words. The impressions of others lead to false judgment.

• Love thy wife as thyself; honor her more than thyself.

Day 268:Boost your self-esteem by reading a biography of

someone you admire.I have suggested previously that you find mentors. It is important to understand that not all your mentors or role models need be alive or to know you personally. I have many mentors who have taught me through their writings or writing about them.When you read biographies of great people you are guided and moved to greatness yourself. When you read about the life of Abraham Lincoln and discover how he persisted against all adversities and how he ultimately succeeded after many apparent failures, your heart is strengthened and you know that if you persist you will succeed. You can learn leadership from Winston Churchill. A totally other form of leadership (perhaps even stronger) comes from Gandhi or Martin Luthor King.It is good to discover that Einstein was not good at arithmatic or the problem Edison had at school. In fact so many of the "greats" had problems at school. So go the library or bookstore and find a biography of your favorite "great person" and read it to boost your self-esteem.Buy your books at barnsandnoble.comexcellent selection great discountDay 269:

Boost your self-esteem by exaggerating your negative feelings to ridiculous extremes - then laughing at

yourself.This is a powerful technique of conquering your negative thoughts and thus boosting your self-esteem. However, like most other powerful techniques you have to be careful with it. You need to practice until you are good at it before you use it with major negative feelings. So start with some small negative feeling you have. Now keep "awfulizing" it. That is make up a story with the consequences of what bothers you. Be as creative as you can. Make it worse and worse and worse, Make it ridiculous. As I write this I notice that the etymology of the word ridiculous is from the Latin verb ridere (to laugh) and means laughable. Now that it is laughable, laugh about it.Having a good sense of humor about yourself is one of the roots of high self-esteem. Here dramatize the situation. There is a good chance that that is exactly what you do anyway. This time dramatize it on purpose. There is the truth that when we do something on purpose we have more control over it. Thus when you demonstrate to yourself that by conscious decision you can make a situation or feelings worse, you understand that by conscious decision you can make the situation much better.

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I want to give you an example of use of this technique. Recently I was going to a dentist appointment and I ended up getting stuck in a traffic jam. Now I typically always arrive to appointments on time or early. I had given myself plenty of time to get to my destination in plenty of time but at this moment I did not know how long I would be caught in the traffic jam. Sitting there stuck, I got frustrated and anxious. So I used the above technique. I first imagined that the traffic would get worse and worse. I imagined that the freeway would be closed because of a toxic spill two miles ahead of me. At the same time I imagined that the big quake would hit at this time. Now the freeway would fall down. I next imagined that toxic gases ahead would catch fire and become mind altering gases which would affect everyone ahead and start another LA riot but this time the gases would make the people something like Zombies. I imagined myself injured and trapped in the car while these Zombies were running toward me. I imagined the Zombies in might Technicolor gore, speaking with funny accents and tonalities. Next I made them talk like Donald Duck.....By this time my original frustration and anxiety had disappeared and I was quite amused by my imaginings. I could now use my left brain to come up with alternative routs to get me to my dentists on time. Anyway after my imagination the idea of arriving ten minutes late at my dentist became a bit tame....As it happened I got to the accident which had caused the jam and the freeway soon cleared and I got to my destination in plenty of time.So use this technique to make your problems appear ridiculous and then boost your self-esteem by laughing at your problems. Do remember to make the situation worse and worse and borrow from horror movies, cartoons, and other totally unrealistic things and situations. You have to go over a threshold. If you just make things a little bad and do not go over the threshold. so the situation gets funny, then you may make the situation worse.

Day 270:Boost your self-esteem by saying your affirmations to

the mirror.I have previously written about affirmations many times. I find affirmations a wonderful way of boosting my self-esteem. Most days I use the affirmation, "I approve of myself," more than one hundred times. Today I was listening to a tape from a hypnosis conference I went to earlier this year and the presenter suggested that one says affirmations to do with the body in front of the mirror by inserting your name in the affirmation thus -- put in your own name in <XXXX> and appropriate values in <YYYY>:I <XXXX>, have a wonderful healthy body.I <XXXX>, am happily wearing a size <YYYY> dress.I <XXXX>, am becoming more fit every day.Select your own affirmations. Say them aloud as you look at yourself in the mirror. Say the selected affirmation five times every morning as soon as you go to the bathroom and five times in the evening before you go to bed. Since we do our teeth in the morning and night this is a perfect time to say the affirmations. Keep with the

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same affirmation for a month and the you can go to a different affirmation.

Day 271:Boost your self-esteem by ordering what you really

want next time you eat out.Often when we eat out we do not order what we want. This might be because of the cost or the number of calories or any other reason. It is much better for your self-esteem to go out fewer times but when you do go out give yourself permission to get whatever you want. Now many times you are going out with others and may be a guest or in a hurry and you cannot order all you want. The point is that at times do go out to a favorite restaurant and celebrate your freedom. You may need to save (money and/or calories -- i.e. eat less for a few days and exercise more) for this special night outYou can make comprises. Perhaps that desert is extremely sweet, fatty and artery clogging. Then, so long as you are not under doctors orders to cut down on fat and calories, maybe you can share it with someone, or eat half and take the other half home. Perhaps you can eat a favored salad first and then have that desert. Next time you can have the deep fried food and no desert.When you give yourself permission to order what you want, you are showing yourself that you are worth it. You tell yourself that you are responsible and in control of your own destiny. Remember that you do not do this all the time but only when you have shown control by saving the resources (money, time, calories or anything else which might stop you from normally ordering what you want) first.In this way have a great night out and enjoy yourself, giving your taste buds a treat while boosting your self-esteem.

Day 272:Boost your self-esteem by dealing with obstacles in a

reasonable way.I am going to use a wall in your way as a metaphor for obstacles -- the different approaches are not exclusive and often we do all of the following when tackling obstacles:

• Some people seeing the wall give up and go home. This is just about the worse way to deal with an obstacle.

• Others keep running into the wall and end up hurting themselves more than anything else. Someone once said, "Madness is repeating the same actions in the same circumstances and expecting different results." Many people do this mistake with obstacles and at other times in their lives.

• Some first sit down examine the situation and think about ways of getting to the other side of the wall.

• Calling friends and expert for advice may be very useful. • Seeing if there are any doors, gates or other simple ways through is an

excellent strategy. • Looking for ladders or other ways of getting over the wall may get the job

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done. • Another way to get past the wall is to see how long it is. Perhaps we can go

around the obstacle. • A final way is to blast through the wall. This is the use of some type of "force

majeur" to overcome the obstacle. • If all the above methods fail, then we need to reconsider our goal. Perhaps we

need to change our goal at least for now. So next time you come to an obstacle note how you deal with it. If your methos works, fne. If it does not see if the above metaphor can help you come up with a good solution to overcoming your obstacle. By dealing better with your obstacle you will boost your self-esteem.

Day 273:Boost your self-esteem by understanding the past is no

indicator of the future.The past is gone and as my compatriot Omar Khayyam wrote:The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.Too often we imagine that because the past has been in a certain way, the future must be the same way. We are creatures of habit and there is a tendency not to change and keep doing things the way we have always done. However, there are cases of total change in a single moment. In history there are many instances of dramatic changes when Saul becomes Paul or in typical people an alcoholic becomes sober in a single moment's decision. We have cases where hardened criminals change and become stable helpful members of the society. On the other hand, we have pillars of society who become crooks and murderers.Once we understand the past is only an indicator of tendencies, we can accept our past and set out to change our present moment and hence our future. I have mentioned many different ways of changing yourself and achieving your goals and hence boosting your self-esteem. However, understanding that at any moment you can change is a wonderful self-esteem booster.In order to truly understand the above statement with your right brain as well as your left-brain, think of:

• All the things you have learned. Obviously if you learned to walk and I assume most people who were not born with congenital problems which precluded them from walking did learn to walk. Now think about it, if the past was an indication of the future, we would all be crawling about on the floor and wetting our diapers.... The mind boggles -- anyway you get the idea.

• Times in the past that you suddenly got it. Now the it can be in any subject. You study a new subject and are in a fog of misunderstanding. You are confused. And then, suddenly there is light about the subject. You do not understand how a few days, hours, minutes ago you did not get it. About this one of my mentors says, "Be glad when you are confused for this shows that

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you are learning something new." • Examples where people have changed in a major way. Do this both for

historical figures, and people you know (perhaps yourself). • People who did badly at school and yet did brilliantly. I'll start with a few:

Winston Churchill; Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison.... Now that you know that change is possible perhaps you would like to write in your success journal a few things that you would like to change. Next for each thing you would like to change make a list of advantages and disadvantages of changing. Just this will set you on your way to make the changes. Use of affirmations and other techniques we have mentioned will make the changes smoother and more probable.However, the most important thing which will improve your life and boost your self-esteem is to persist and do something positive for yourself each and every day.

Day 274:Boost your self-esteem by understanding that "S"

happens.No not that "S" but setbacks. As you are moving toward your goals, Murphy's law kicks in and kicks you while you are down. The difference between winners and loosers is not that winners do not have setbacks and loosers don't. In fact winners take greater risks and hence have more setbacks. The difference is how winners and loosers analyze their setbacks and then what they do when facing setbacks.Winners have an attitude toward setbacks that this is temporary and unusual. That outside factors caused the setback but they are responsible for the setback -- i.e. they are able to respond to the setback. That there is something to be learned from the setback.Loosers imagine that the setback is permanent and the norm. They think that they are at fault but they do not accept responsibility for the setback. They do not learn much if anything at all from the setback.The most important difference between the winners and loosers is that the winners persist and continue in the face of setbacks. However, the loosers use the setbacks as excuses to give up.It is important to understand that we have a general self-esteem (trait self-esteem) and then we have self-esteem associated with our different skills (state self-esteem). Thus I know I am an excellent software engineer and if I have a setback in my software engineering, I take it totally in stride knowing that this was a bad day and tomorrow will be an excellent day. However, my self-esteem as a fiction write is not so high so when I receive a rejection slip, I take it very hard and I can give up very easily. Thus in the same person we have winners and loosers.Using the techniques in this series we boost our general self-esteem so that our loosers will become winners. As our general self-esteem goes up so does our state self-esteem for all skills. Thus understanding that setbacks are natural parts of progress you may accept them even in fields where you are not so sure of yourself.

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Day 275:Boost your self-esteem by celebrating the dead.

Today, November 1, is "All Saint's Day." The previous evening is "All Hallows Eve." This is the source of our Halloween. Anyway today is the day that traditionally the Europeans (before Christianity) celebrated their dead. It was the day that people would remember their ancestors.It was Isaac Newton who said, "If I see further it is because I'm standing on the shoulder of giants." That's the difference between us human beings and other animals. We share 98.5 percent of our DNA with Chimpanzees. However, we learn from our dead. We live on through our progeny. Each generation stands on the shoulders of previous generations. Basically we share 100% of our DNA with the Homo Sapiens Sapiens (our subspecies) of 25,000 years ago. Yet our knowledge has doubled in the last 50 years. Are we more intelligent than our ancestors of 25,000 years ago? No, what we are, where we are is due to all those humans who have gone before us.So today take some time and celebrate the dead, not just your own family but all human beings going back to at least 2,000,000 years ago. Thank the Creator that you are a human being. Statistically we are quite rare. If there was a lottery and you could have been born as any living being on Earth, there is more than a billion to one chance against being born as a human. After all you could have been a cockroach, spider, ant even an HIV virus.So today remember the dead and remember that one day you'll be dead and here is the point about today and your self-esteem: you owe it to the future to be the best you can be. You are one of those giants of the past to the people of the future....Think about yourself as that giant and boost your self-esteem.

Day 276:Boost your self-esteem by starting to pay off an old

debt.The modern translation of the Lord's prayer ends with, "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." Human beings typically do not enjoy owing debts. When we owe debts, we feel obliged to pay them back. The fact that someone thinks that they got away with it and she* not need to pay back the debt, in truth damages the self-esteem so much and holds one back so much that the negative consequences is much larger than any ill-gotten gain.So in order to boost your self-esteem decide at this moment to pay back your debts. If the debts are financial and you cannot afford to pay them back, know that you can always afford to pay some thing back. Perhaps you can pay back $5.00 a month each to the ten people you owe debts. Write letters to each of them explaining that you will pay back all that you owe and at this moment you can only send $5.00 a month. Enclose your $5.00 and send it with love. There is something near magical that happens when you do this. You are showing the Universe that you are responsible, that you trust yourself. This action boosts your self-esteem and soon you'll discover that your earning will go up by much more than the amount that you

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are paying back and you can increase the amount that you pay back and yet each month what is left for you will be more.Note that when I write debts, I do not only mean financial debts but all kinds of debts. If there are people who have been kind to you and you have had wonderful teachers, you owe a debt. You do not pat back this debt to your teachers by teaching them but by teaching others. You can pay back kindness by being kind and hospitable to others.My mother died of Leukemia a few years ago in Paris. Some very kind French strangers donated blood and platelets for her. I owe a debt of gratitude to the French people for the rest of my life. I cannot directly pay those wonderful people who helped my mother, but I pay back my debt by donating blood at the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. Last time I went something went wrong and my arm ached for a relatively speaking a long time. But that does not diminish my debt. So soon when I can donate again, I'll go back and pay my dues....So search your past for debts of kindness. These are even more important to pay back than financial debts. Pay back kindness with double the kindness. Remember that love and kindness is a thing that the more you give away the more you'll have and boost your self-esteem.

Day 277:Boost your self-esteem by discovering the truth.

"The truth shall set you free...."When we are lazy and we do not think, when we allow the media and spin masters decide our fate, something deep within knows the truth and understands that we are being fooled and lowers our self-esteem. Think about those times when you turned a blind eye to the truth, sure consciencely you could fool yourself but did you fool your Self?I want to give examples from my own life since I do not presume to know yours and hopefully you are wiser than I have been. Many a time I have met people and at the very first moment felt that they were not the right type of people for me. There was a person who I felt was dishonest and yet later on he fooled me into going into partnership with him. He embezzled a huge percentage of wealth before I came to myself and managed to disentangle myself from him. In retrospect I knew the truth from day one and then I forgot about it.I have had a few bad relationships, when in the first week that I met the person I knew that this was not the person for me. Later we became best friends and at times lovers. Yet later on I knew that my original intuition was right. This has happened to me many times. I think I'm wiser now and I go with my intuition.I came up with today's topic because I wanted to write the truth about George Bush, Dick Cheney and Saddam Hussein. I decided against putting that in this article. I hope you'll read the separate article in itself since it is important to know the truth about these three "honorable gentlemen" (with apologies to William Shakespeare's Mark Anthony).To continue about how you can boost your self-esteem by knowing the truth use these methods:

• Think for yourself.

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• Read critically -- everyone has an angle, a bias, when you read see if you can discover the person's bail. I'll admit mine. I am proud to be progressive. The difference between progressives and conservatives is only time. What we see today, eventually they will be forced to admit as truth in far tomorrows. It is interesting how many conservatives today dare to fight social security, emancipation of slaves, vote for women etc.... And every progress in human freedom and dignity they have fought against as hard as they could.

• Be slow to judge. Ruminate on facts. • Be compassionate and loving. Follow the example of Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha

and other lovers of peace. Do not be like their followers. Know that the loving path is more likely to be the truth. It is definitely the path to higher spirituality and higher self-esteem.

Day 278:Boost your self-esteem by wishing for what you want.

This morning I was talking to a friend and she said, "It will be a miracle if Gore wins." She told me that even though Bush was caught plain faced lying when he denied two years ago that he was arrested any time after 1968, no one seemed to care. I asked her not to keep focusing on what she did not want, because when we are involved in the situation what we focus on has a great effect on the result and on a mystical level even on cases like this what we focus on may bring about appropriate results. As Job said, "What I feared befell me." She replied that she could not stand it if Bush wins and was preparing herself just in case....This is the point of today's piece. It is better to focus on success than what to do about future failure. Concentrating on success make ultimate victory more likely.Do not worry about failure and disappointment until the time comes. Until that moment do everything you can to make things go the way you want them to be. I have written over and over again: "Accept whatever is." But that means accepting the past, learning whatever lessons there are, in order to take action in the present moment, in order to change the future. Thus from now until the polls close on Tuesday she should do everything in her power to make sure Gore wins. If Bush wins, at that time she will cope with that outcome.So in order to boost your self-esteem, wish for what you want and understand that you will always be able to cope with whatever happens. Thus wishing for what you want, work for what you want since wishing is only the starting point to achieving your goals. The next step is to take action toward your goals. Take action without over concern with the result. It is a fine line between being excited about the journey and becoming anxious about not reaching your destination. Physiologically they are both caused by the same set of hormones (mainly adrenaline and nor-adrenaline). The main difference is between our internal attitude toward the feelings we get. When we keep our eyes on our goal and yet decide to enjoy the journey we can keep being exited instead of getting anxious.

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Day 279:Boost your self-esteem by destroying your enemies.

This sounds totally against everything I have been writing for the last 278 days but I do mean it. Destroy your enemy by making her* your friend. I was looking at the Yahoo message board about Israeli-Palestinian Conflict. The level of hatred and name calling was phenomenal. This got me to think about our personal relationships. There so many times that we are in conflict with our brothers* and we feel that we are right and they are absolutely wrong.These brothers we may meet on the freeways and have road rage, or they may be our political opponents in this election season. Other sisters we disrespect are people at work or even members of our family.Since this series is about your self-esteem I don't want to write so much about the spiritual damage of hatred as the physical and mental damage done by hatred and dislike. When you dislike someone and get angry you release stress hormones into your blood stream and you damage your mind leading to a lower self-esteem. However, when you like people, your immune system improves and you become healthier.Things to do to destroy your enemies and make them into friends:

• • Σιλεντλψ γρεετ αλλ ψου µεετ ωιτη λοϖε . • • Βλεσσ αλλ ψου µεετ . • • Μεδιτατε/ρελαξ . • Pause when you are angry. • Pray for peace. • • Υνδερστανδ τηατ τηοσε ωηο πυση ψουρ ηοτ βυττονσ αρε ψουρ βεστ

τεαχηερσ. • Look for peaceful solutions to conflicts. • Send love to your supposed enemies. • • Φοργιϖε πεοπλε ωηο µαψ ηαϖε ηαρµεδ ψου . • Smile when you meet someone.

By the way this is what I wrote on that message board:We all think that we are right and we have God on our side. We demonize the enemy. How about doing the worse you can to your enemy. Pray that God grants your enemy some wisdom. Calling each other names and killing each other has done us (humanity) not much good. War, hatred and killing only propagates itself. If you think you have truth on your side pray that your enemy becomes wise. If both sides become wise we may yet get some peace. Shalom, Salam, Peace....

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Day 280:Boost your self-esteem by being tolerant of people who

annoy you.I wrote the above title even though I don't believe people can annoy you. It is your internal attitude toward what people do which annoys you. But the above title was shorter.A friend phoned me complaining that since today is a Sunday there were many tourists in the beach community that he lives in. He was walking by the ocean and there were a whole group of people who were walking four abreast very slowly. He had to break his quick pace and eventually managed to get through the inconsiderate crowd. Next he came upon two cigar smoking men who were polluting the ocean air with their cigar smoke.At this time he started to get annoyed. As time wore on he became more and more annoyed and this further annoyed my friend. He wished that all the tourists would go home and he could have peace and quite like he has during the week. He wished to be able to exercise by walking briskly. This continued, my friend told me, until he came to himself and noted that his intolerance was the real source of his annoyance. He suddenly had a change of heart and he decided that he would appreciate the fact that all these people were enjoying themselves. Just then as he changed his mind he came upon this old gentleman who smiled at him and said, "Good evening." This totally changed his mood and he was happy whereas ten minutes earlier he had been annoyed.My friend told me his story and suggested I write about it. He noticed naturally that it was his own internal attitude which changed his mood. When he was annoyed he did not change the objective situation. The cigar smoke was still there. He could avoid it by holding his breath but there was nothing he could do about the men who were smoking. Again when he came upon the people who were in his way he could have just appreciated that this family was out together enjoying the Sunday evening.So once again we get back to that magical way of boosting your self-esteem: accept whatever is. In fact in cases like this where you cannot change what is, it is best to boost your self-esteem by accepting things you cannot change with joy. Understand that some people are not considerate. That's the way things are. There's nothing you can do about people being inconsiderate, what you can change is yourself. You can be self-righteous and suffer or you can take life easy and have fun and boost your self-esteem.

Day 281:Boost your self-esteem by loving your mother.

Most of you read the above title and say to yourself, "Of course I love my mother." Some of you, however, are going to say, "I could never love her after what she did to me. I'll write about your biological parents another day, but today's title like yesterday's is misleading on purpose.The mother I'm writing about is your Mother Earth. Whereas in Western religions humanity is to rule the Earth and the other animals, many native systems of

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spirituality including the native American religions believe in the sacredness of everything, especially the Earth our mother. This way of thinking, when we realize that all is interrelated, that not only all human beings are brothers and sisters but understand that all animals, plants and minerals are our cousins, is much more spiritually healthy than our conquer and destroy nature way of thinking.When we climb a mountain, we talk about conquering the peak, whereas, a Zen monk might talk about being in communion with the mountain. We drive gas guzzlers and in thirty years will consume oil which has taken 150,000,000 years to produce and we complain about gas prices when we have one of the lowest prices in the world. We are destroying the Earth and causing global warming and ozone layer destruction while some of our so called leaders are dupes of the energy companies and claim there is no global warming.We are murdering our mother and Matricide will always have dire consequences. However, this is not a political piece. I want to suggest things you can do to appreciate the Earth and enjoy life much more and thus boost your self-esteem:

• Go for a walk in nature. Climb a hill or go to the ocean. Now walk slowly and enjoy your surroundings. As you notice something you appreciate ask the Creator to bless it. It doesn't matter what it is, ask God to bless this stone, that tree, the insect over there.

• Meditate on closeness to Mother Earth. Find a quite place and close your eyes and relax. Now imagine the Spirit of the Earth. Allow this Spirit to communicate with you in your imagination. Talk to it. Tell it about your problems. Ask about her concerns. Take your time and talk to your mother and tell her that you love her. Now listen and see what she wants you to do?

• Meditate on being grounded. Sit down on a comfortable chair with your feet firmly on the ground. Close your eyes and relax. Now imagine your feet growing roots deep into the ground. Allow these roots to grow down to the center of the Earth. No imagine antlers growing from the top of your head and imagine these to grow up high into the heavens. Now with each breath in imagine a circuit taking energy from the heavens deep into the ground and with the out breaths imagine the energy transformed and going the opposite direction. Thus you become a transformer of cosmic energy going between Heaven and Earth. After doing this for about ten minutes you may think about having your feet on Terra Firma while your head is high in the clouds.

• Play in a park. Have fun with your mother. Run, dance, play softball, football or whatever turns you on. This is an easy way to show appreciation of the Earth.

• Walk barefoot on grass. • Swim. Two thirds of the Earth's surface is water and two thirds of the human

body is composed of water.... By the way if after doing some of the above exercises you decide to do something to protect our environment for the future generations so much the better but the first point is to appreciate the Earth which gives us life and sustenance....

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Day 282:Boost your self-esteem by enjoying the journey.

I am writing this while watching the election results. It is currently a very close cliffhanger. By tomorrow morning one of the two contestants will be exceedingly happy and the other will be feeling very down. The two contestants for the president and all other candidates have been struggling for such a long time and tomorrow it is the end of the journey. Even the winners will feel some anticlimax. Life may be difficult in the next few weeks for the loosers. I hope they will get over their grief as soon as possible and will become better human beings.The lesson of this and any other struggle is to enjoy the journey since getting to the goal is a momentary thing. Once we reach our goal we go to the next goal and then the next journey begins. For the loosers another journey of recovery begins. Yet this too is a new journey. Unfortunately we have become too concerned by winning. It is impossible to win all the time. If winning is the only thing our self-esteem is bound to suffer. I was raised in England and in those days we honestly believed that it's better to win than to lose but the real issue is how you play the game. Having such an attitude helps you to enjoy the journey and to boost your self-esteem.Ways of enjoying the journey:

• Appreciate the here and now. • Smile. • Relax and take it easy -- know that life's only a game. It is a most important

game but it is a game. At the same time do your best. In fact when you relax and take life easy you achieve much more.

• Mix work and fun together. • Spend some time each day appreciating life. • Have a good sense of humor -- laugh at yourself. • Spend quality time with your loved ones. • Take some time off even during times of stress. When you take time off you

become more efficient and end up doing more.

Day 283:Boost your self-esteem by asking for something.

This one is a no brainer, however, too often we don't ask for things. When I was young I was shy and missed out on so many opportunities because I was shy and unassertive. My shyness did not come from not being sure of myself but the other killer of self-esteem, being a perfectionist. I imagined that being told no was the worse possible thing in the world.As I matured I realized that nothing ventured, nothing gained. Today I received my phone bill and was shocked to see that a simple phone call to England had been charged at $1.60 a minute. I asked about it and the lady on the other side told me that I did not have any plan. I asked what we could do about it? She told me that she could get me on a plan retroactively. To cut a long story short (I had also phoned my sister in Iran), I ended up saving $78 by asking. If she could not have done

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anything I would have learned a lesson and would have changed my carrier. I would not have lost anything by asking. I did gain at this time. At other times the person I have asked has smiled and said there was nothing she could do. And I would smile, knowing that I did try.So boost your self-esteem by asking for things. When you ask, always smile (even when asking on the phone -- the voice actually sounds different when you are happy). Ask with the belief that people will help you without any expectation that they must. If people cannot help you thank them anyway. Here are some suggestions:

• If you are single ask someone out for lunch. • Ask for a discount. • Ask help in directions -- especially if you are a man. I am very bad about this.

I have an excellent sense of direction but there are times when I am lost and I am loathed to ask for help.

• Ask for a charity. Go on a charity walk or run and ask friends and colleagues to help.

• Ask to be taught something. It is interesting how people who are good at something love to mentor you and to teach you.

• Ask God -- pray. • Ask your politicians. Write letters and phone. • Ask the media. • Ask for a job. If there is a company you would like to work in, learn

everything you can about it and then ask for a job. You never know. You may get that wonderful job.

Please also read the related piece: boost your self-esteem by not accepting no as the final answer. Thanks to not accepting no as the final answer, I now have a wonderful new contract and am having a great time at my new job.

Day 284:Boost your self-esteem by being the best you.

I don't follow any American sports. I follow football (soccer to some -- football to the rest of the world) and Formula 1 motor racing. This year there was a brilliant 20 year old rookie, Jenson Button. He has been so good at such a young age for Formula 1 drivers that he has been compared by some to the great Ayrton Senna, arguably the best Formula 1 driver ever.But Button much wiser than his age said that he is not interested in any comparison to the late and great Ayrton Senna or any other driver. He commented with: "I'm continually compared to Ayrton but I can never become the second Senna. I want to remain as the first Button. I want to become a world champion and be as successful as him but that will not happen at this stage of my career. " As soon as I read the above quote I knew what today's piece had to be. Be the first you. Be the best you. That's the only reasonable comparison which will boost your self-esteem. When you compare yourself with others, you are bound to go wrong. There are in any field people who are better than you and people who are worse off than you. If you compare yourself with those better off than you, you may become

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disappointed and disgruntled. If, on the other hand, you do the reverse you may decide to take life too easy. Either of the two solutions will lower your self-esteem.When you compete with yourself, and be the best you that you can be, when you are an ever lasting quest to improve yourself, when you understand that education and learning is a lifelong quest you'll boost your self-esteem every day of your life. So learn from others but always be the first you.....

Day 285:Boost your self-esteem by laughing in the face of

adversity.One of the worse curses in China is: "May you live in interesting times." The last three days certainly have been interesting politically. The country is quite divided and each side tends to demonize the other. No matter who wins, half the country is going to think the election was stolen.So one way or another, we likely are going to go through some adverse political times in the next few months until things settle. So what are we to do in the coming months to get through this mess? Having a sense of humor helps. One of my teachers and mentors Dr. Stephen Hoeller, once told me a story of when he was a young boy in Hungry when Hitler was coming to power in Germany.He had been visiting a wise Jewish friend with his father. His father asked the friend about the Nazis and what to do in the face of the coming evil. The friend replied that one thing that evil did not have is a sense of humor and one had to laugh at the Nazis while being on guard. This gentleman kept his sense of humor and at the same time left Hungry for the States before the Nazis invaded his country.So if you find yourself "living in interesting times", stemming from any adversity in life, having a sense of humor can help you retain emotional balance, and control your reaction toward those on "the other side". When feelings lead you to negative behaviors toward others, your self-esteem drops. When you maintain your equilibrium, through use of humor your self-esteem stays in tact and can even improve.And remember all things will pass...

Day 287:Boost your self-esteem by getting in tune with the

sacredness within you.Jesus said, "The kingdom of God is within." Modern psychology has shown that most of the mind is the inner unconscious portion and it is this unconscious portion of the mind which is the major source of creativity. Modern physics in the form of quantum mechanics has linked the subjective and objective together and agrees with many of the thoughts of ancient mystics. The language of these mystics is poetry and metaphor. The language of modern physics is mathematics.In Iran we have an old poem stating that within the smallest particle there is a sun.Einstein's relativity states E = mc2 showing that within the smallest particle there is a sun.

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Hermes Trismagistes (Hermes the three times greatest) philosopher, mystic, scientist from prehistoric Egypt wrote, "As above, so below. As below, so above." Meaning there is a direct relationship between the microcosm (human being) and the macrocosm (God and the universe). In Genesis it is written, "God created man in his own image." According to some readings of quantum mechanics consciousness collapses quantum probability waves into a single perceived reality. To put it in plain terms, it is our consciousness which determines the objective reality. According to these theories there is only one consciousness. Otherwise your objective reality and mind could be totally different.Thus the mystics (ancient and modern) and the modern physicists agree that there is a sacredness, a spark of the One**, within. In fact some modern physics theories and most mystics agree that even though from some angles the universe may be divided into the many, the only thing which has absolute reality is the one.In order to boost your self-esteem by getting in tune with the sacredness within you, you can say the following prayers and affirmations:

• I trust the inner sacredness within me and all others to guide us toward the light and show us the right things to do. I have a childlike faith in my inner goodness and surrender my will to this inner spark of the divine.

• I open my mind to the inner truth. I allow myself to be guided into ways of goodness, peace and compassion.

• I realize the presence of the Spirit within. I understand that I'm a part of the Spirit having a material experience.

• I allow the genius within to grow and show itself to the world. • I let go and let God. • Wherever I look I see love and joy. • I am love. I am power. I am compassion. • Divine Intelligence is within me and guides me. • I listen to the Christ within. • The is only one Consciousness. This is the Consciousness of God. This

Consciousness is my consciousness.

Day 288:Boost your self-esteem by giving up dogma.

Two days ago, I wrote about: looking for points of commonality with others. Yesterday, I suggested: getting in tune with the sacredness within you. Today I would like to combine these to suggest another way of looking at religion. This is only a suggestion. Please read it without accepting or rejecting my points until you have finished today's piece.I propose that if a Creator exists, she* points the way to us through demonstrable facts. We are the only animal which can think symbolically and use a complex language. It is our power of thinking which sets us apart from all other animals. Thus I propose a most important aspect of the Creator's plan for us is to use our brains and think.I further propose that the Creator is a good Creator. I use the following affirmation when things appear bad: "God is always a good God."

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Fact: When we look at the religions of the world superficially, that is when we look at their dogmas. Not only every single religion disagrees with every single other religion, but if we just take one religion say Christianity, every sect disagrees with every other sect. In fact sectarian warfare by religions of peace and love run rampant throughout the history of humanity.Fact: Very few people change the religion that they are born with.I interpret the above two facts that a good God would never have one right way of communicating with us and all the rest of the human beings be damned.If we look for points of commonality in the esoteric religions we find that all religions teach being kind to one's neighbors. At times they consider people outside their faith as not neighbors, but the point is that they all preach love of human being for other human beings. Most teach respect for animals and other living beings. Many recommend that we respect and love the environment which is God's gift to all humanity.All religions warn against too much materialism and greed. In the words of Jesus, "It is more difficult for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle." Furthermore they all preach looking after others and giving charity. They all believe in the brotherhood* of humanity.When we look at the esoteric aspects of all religions, we find that mystics of all religions agree with each other. They cloak their words using the symbols of the milieu that they come from. Thus a Christian mystic uses Christian symbology and a Buddhist mystic uses Buddhist symbology. It is like the fact that when people go to Freudian psychologists they dream in Freudian symbology, but when they go to Jungians, they dream in Jungian symbology.However, all mystics agree that:

• The Creator must be experienced first hand. • The love between the Creator and the Created is infinite. • All beings are interconnected and are part of the One**. • There is a spark of the Divine within all. This is said in many ways: "The

kingdom of God is within;" "I and the father are one;" "I am the truth." Dogmatic religion executed the two who dared say the last two statements.

• The ultimate truth is beyond words. • Love of God is love for all beings. • The real world is beyond time and space. It is a transcendent spiritual reality. • This world of mater does not mater that much. • There is absolutely no need to be scared of death.

Ways of using the above facts to boost your self-esteem through repetition of the following affirmations:

• God is always a good God. • I am loving and I am loved. • All is one.... All is good.... • I am a divine child of the Creator. • I am love. • I love life and it shows.

There is a Zen Buddhist saying which I love: Before enlightenment chop wood,

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carry water.... After enlightenment chop wood, carry water....Thus after understanding the basic unity of all human beings and all religions, go back to your own religion and dogmas if you please. Or you may want to bring in a little of wisdoms existing outside your traditions. A Sufi story relates to today's piece:A Sufi before he became wise and a saint was walking when he heard this peasant praying thus, "God I'll buy you candy and wrap it and offer to to you. I'll make a doll for you and dress it in the best clothes and give it to you. I'll make you the best shish kebob in the world." The Sufi rushed forward and said, "Fool, God is not a child that needs candy and toys. God is a spirit, abstract, beyond words and even thoughts. God is beyond the beyond. Many years later when the saint died saint Peter admonished him for turning the peasant away from God. The saint replied but he was wrong. He was an idolater. "No," replied saint Peter, "He was praying to the Creator in the only way he could and you turned him away."So if you see someone who does not agree with you, have compassion, perhaps they are doing things in the only way they can.

Day 289:Boost your self-esteem by moving away from

temptation.I love chocolate and if there is any in the house I might make short order of it. In fact I may keep an unopened box of chocolate for six months but when I open the box I gobble all pieces in half an hour. If I never buy any I do not miss it that much. This behavior pattern is true of many things that may tempt us. The best way of using one's will power is to make life as easy as possible by avoiding the temptation at the source.Thus if you are concerned about your weight and nutrition, go to the supermarket when you are full. If you are hungry, just buy whatever you need for a single meal and return later for your main shopping. Look at the labels of the feedstuff you buy examining them for the calories, amount of fat, chemicals and other ingredients which you may want to avoid.At the same time look for foodstuff which is good for you. Nature abhors a vacuum, but if you fill up your life with good things there is no room left for the temptations.I wrote the above about food as temptation but this piece is a metaphor for all the temptations in your life. Move away from the temptations and replace bad habits with good habits. Many in the motivational field say that it takes 21 days to form or lose a habit. I think in reality that's just an approximation. Sometimes a week may be enough and at times it may take a whole month for the new better habit to be established.So my suggestion is that when developing a new habit or moving away from temptations do it at least for thirty days. Also note that many habits are masked by the new better habit but it is easy to go back to the old habit if you place yourself in the same tempting situation. The most radical example of this is alcoholism which is a major physiological addiction. In this case and other physiological addictions once one is free of the addiction it is best to never again indulge in the addiction since

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doing so can easily revert one back to full addiction.When you overcome your liabilities by avoiding temtation you will be able to control your life so much better that you'll achieve much more and boost your self-esteem.

Day 290:Boost your self-esteem by looking for the silver lining in

every cloud.Recent events in Florida have once more shown our friend Murphy rules supreme. To remind you Murphy's law states that what can go wrong will go wrong. The difference between winners and the others (I really hate to think anyone is a loser) is that the winners find the silver lining in every cloud. Winners are optimistic and as I have emphasized many times before look upon things going wrong as anomalies rather than the norm. They take responsibility for what happens to them in as much as they are able to respond to every situation in a proactive way. They understand that having setbacks is normal and is spice of a successful life and thus persist and continue having learned the lessons of the setback.To see the natural God given success mechanism in all human's look at children learning to walk. They try something and if it does not work they fall down. They might even cry for a little while but soon they smile get up and try something else. When something works, they repeat it. When it does not, they don't. That's why all children who have no organic problems and are not totally abused end up learning to walk.They and other winners instinctively know that there is a silver lining within each and every cloud. The first silver lining is: What can be learned from this experience? Someone once said, "Success comes from learning. Learning comes from experience. Experience comes from things going wrong." This is something you can do with every action you take. Ask what did I learn from this? How can I do better next time? Is there any other related thing that I can do given what I have learned from this experience?There are many other possible silver linings but they are different depending on the situation involved. Jesus said, "Seek and you shall find." Thus if you seek for the silver lining, you will find it and will thus learn and achieve more in the long run and boost your self-esteem.

Day 291:Boost your self-esteem by writing a letter.

Often we feel strongly about an issue and yet do nothing about it. At these times write a letter telling the world what you think. This shows you that you think your opinions do matter. You can write a letter to the editor of your local paper, the TV news, or to your congressperson.Just writing and sending the letter will make you feel better and boost your self-esteem. However, there ways of actually getting your letters published and chances are that would boost your self-esteem even more. The best way to get your letter

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published by your local paper is to study the letters to the editor page and write the type of letters which are accepted. Each paper has a political slant and your chances of getting in is higher if you do slant it in that direction. However, the writing style is often even more important than the angle you choose.My local paper is the Los Angeles Times and short well written letters are preferred. They do not like over partisan letters. You can write what you want to but do not over do it. Also it seems to me that they do not like to publish too many letters from the same person in succession. Thus if you do write in their style you may get a letter published once every six months or so.Again when writing to politicians be polite and come to the point. These are read by their assistant but they make a huge difference in the way your elected servants (and that's what they really are) will behave. They say that each letter they receive represents 1000 people who feel the same way but do not bother to write a letter. Also I have heard that hand written letters are more effective in this case.If you have a service problem or any other issue with a corporation write to the president of the company, especially if it is a large company. If anything is going to happen, this is the best way to have it happen.Another forum to air your feeling is on the Internet. There are newsgroups, chats and messages. There are also so many newsletters and newspapers on the net which need letters and articles.So when you have strong feelings about something which concerns many others shout it out by writing a letter and boost you self-esteem while helping others with your own individual wisdom.By the way if any of you want's to write to us about what you do to boost your self-esteem or improve your relationship, we will publish it on our website.

Day 292:Boost your self-esteem by reading these quotations.

When we do not learn from the past we are bound to make the same mistakes and reinvent things known by our ancestors. I am going to give you a few quotations which might inspire you and boost your self-esteem:

• Tat tvam asi -- this is a Sanskrit mantra which means, "You are that." Other ways of putting it are: "It is so!." "You are it." "You are the Self." "You are God." I like the attitude of "You are it." Think about that.

• Love is the most beautiful among the immortal gods -- Hesiod. • The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one great thing --

Archilocus. • Know yourself -- Inscription at the Oracle of Delphi. • Don't count your chickens before they are hatched -- Aesop. • Character is a man's guiding destiny -- Heraclitus. • All that is is the result of what we have thought -- Suttapitaka. • Man is the measure of all things -- Protagoras. • There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance -- Socrates. • Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink

that they may live -- Socrates.

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• I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world -- Socrates. • The beginning is the most important part of the work -- Plato. • Moderation in all things -- Terence. One of my mentors adds: "Moderation

in all things, even moderation," • I am a man: nothing human is alien to me -- Terence. • To be loved, be lovable -- Ovid. • Man is a reasoning animal -- Seneca. • The good or ill of men lies within his own will -- Epictetus. • He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one

enemy will meet him everywhere -- Ali the prophet Mohammed's son-in-law and first Imam of the Shiites.

• The Lord God is subtle, but malicious he is not -- Albert Einstein. • Either war is obsolete or men are -- Buckminister Fuller. • Money does not buy you happiness but it does make you misery more

comfortable -- Anonymous. • I'll let you be in my dream, if you let me be in yours -- Bob Dylan. • Imagine -- John Lennon.

Day 293:Boost your self-esteem by taking a day off.

In the USA, we work on average more hours a week than any other advanced industrial country. We work long hours and take work home. On the other hand, the quantity of our lives is one of the highest in the world. We have more toys and less time to appreciate those toys. In theory most of us have the weekends off. However, often we are doing our chores around the house during the weekend.Thus we end up without much free time for ourselves and to commune with God. Originally the idea of the Sabbath was to spend one day in seven allowing the body to rest, feeding the soul, and communing with the Spirit. Given the type of society that we live in, perhaps we cannot take one day in seven off, but maybe one day in a month. If that's too often for you, take off one day a year.When you do take your day off, give the day to yourself and your loved ones. Spend quality time with yourself, your loved ones and your Creator. If you are sleep deprived, like many of us are, start the day by sleeping in. When you get up start the day positively by saying some of your favorite affirmations. Next do some of the following type of things in whatever order is best for you:

• Spend quality time with your loved ones. • • Πηονε ψουρ λοϖεδ ονεσ who do not live with you. • • Εατ φοοδ ωηιχη ψου κνοω ισ γοοδ φορ ψου . Say appropriate prayers of

thanks for the food and eat slowly appreciating the nutrition and the flux in nature. Thus living beings give their life essence to you and continue to live through you.

• • Μεδιτατε and do relaxation exercises. • If you belong to an organized religion, go to your place of worship. • • Γο φορ α ωαλκ . • Go to a movie, amusement park or something similar.

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• Go for a picnic. • Visit the beach, desert, national park or something similar. • Spend some time alone with your Creator. • Examine you life and look at all the reasons you have to be thankful. • Do something fun you have never done before.

The important thing is to give the day to yourself. Understanding that you are a social animal with a body/mind/soul/spirit and each part of you needs be cherished and looked after, spend the day nourishing your body, mind, soul, spirit and relationships and hence boost your self-esteem.

Day 294:Boost your self-esteem by using your waiting time in a

positive way.As I start to write this piece I have been waiting an hour and a half on the phone for someone from Network Solutions to answer my call. This is the fourth time I have called them up about the same problem with the way they have registered this web site in the last six months. Each time I have waited at least an hour and a half and sent them many emails and faxes and each time they do nothing about it. So as you may imagine I am becoming quite frustrated and angry with the whole situation.The problem is that I am letting something outside my control to bother me and thus lower my self-esteem. A few minutes ago once I noticed what I was doing to myself, I decided to use the situation for the lessons involved. Of course, the first lesson is something that I have repeated many times in this series and that is to accept what is. From my own experience, I do know that this is not always easy. In fact many of the most useful methods in this series are not always easy and you should always be kind to yourself and forgive yourself if you do get frustrated, angry, or have other negative feelings at times. Give yourself a great kudos whenever you do manage to do one of these difficult things to control your life.The thing that one notices is that once one accepts what is, one can find solutions to the problem at hand. In this case once I accepted that I was going to be waiting a long time on the phone, I gave up my feeling of frustration and decided to use the waiting time in a positive manner. I first started to read a book and now I'm using the waiting time to write this article.

Day 295:Boost your self-esteem by jumping in the deep end.

Do this when you kind of know how to swim and you'll be surprised that you will swim and hence boost your self-esteem.The above was a metaphor for the way people can tackle tasks at hand. Too often we spend too much time in preparation and thus end up missing out on opportunities. Often this is caused by that killer of self-esteem and achievement: perfectionism. By wanting to get everything just right we end up being paralyzed and miss our deadlines or start late and even if we hit our deadlines we end up delivering a shoddy job.I am not suggesting that you should not spend any time on the preparation at all.

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What I am suggesting is to err on the side of starting the task early rather than later. There is great inertia in starting. There is also great momentum once one has started. Thus know your final goal, prepare a little and then take that very important first step.Once you start the task then use feedback to make sure you are going in the right direction and have the flexibility to change your plans to move toward your goal. At the same time you need be flexible about your goals. I have earlier mentioned that successful people choose their goals so that they are challenging and stretch their capabilities but they are not so difficult that they give up. Less successful people either choose very easy goals that they can reach without exertion or choose impossible goals so they give up.What I'm suggesting here is that after a minimum amount of preparation start the task at hand understanding that is is a work in progress and you may have to backtrack and redo some things. However, having started you have the momentum of movement and can move full speed toward your ultimate goal. An example from my own life: In my day job I am a software engineer. Many times my most successful work is when I plow ahead get something working and then I modify the code as needed. At times I end up throwing major parts away and rewrite the code in order to improve it. The original code ends up being a prototype where I can experiment and discover the best method of getting the task done.So in order to achieve more, take that first step as soon as possible, take risks and be ready to fail at times so that your overall success rate goes up.

Day 296:Boost your self-esteem by getting that check up from

your doctor you've postponed.Every time you do something positive for yourself your self-esteem goes up. Every time you neglect yourself the opposite happens. I have mentioned many times that you are body/mind/soul/spirit and if you neglect any of these four you are in fact neglecting all four.It is so easy to neglect any aspect of your life when things are going well and only complain when things go wrong. In this case a stitch in time does save nine. Depending on your age and condition you are advised to go for at least an annual check up. Your physician may ask for more often visits depending on your condition. Find a physician you like and trust and visit her* as often as needs be. She is your guide to your health and longevity.Thus looking after and protecting your body shows that you believe you are worth something. It gives you dignity (literally worth). And as you value your self you will discover that you will value all other aspects of your life and thus boost your self-esteem.

Day 297:Boost your self-esteem by celebrating thanksgiving.

Today is the official thanksgiving day in the United States so take some time off and meditate on all the different things you can be thankful for. An excellent thing to do

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is to make a list of at least one hundred things you can be thankful for. Be pretty indiscriminate in this list. Include big important things like your health and relationships and small things like the taste of you favorite chewing gum or the fact that it's sunny or raining or whatever. Keep asking yourself this question: "What else am I thankful for?" As I have mentioned before the human brain is an answer making device. Ask a question and you will receive an answer. Make that list as long as possible. And now that you have that very long list find somewhere quite and read your list aloud thus: "I am thankful for...." Continue reading your list until you reach the end.Now go and appreciate your friends and family. Smile, be loving and compassionate, and keep away from each others hot buttons. Make sure you and the people around you have a great time today.Now comes the most important part. See if you can make each day a thanksgiving day. The mystics believe each moment should be spent thanking the Creator and appreciating life in all its glory. We can emulate them by spending a little time each day being thankful. Perhaps those waiting moment. The light goes red or you are stuck in the traffic. At such times remember your list of things to be thankful for and just think of one or two each time and repeat to yourself, "I thank you God for ......"

Day 298:Boost your self-esteem by letting go of what you think

you know.Prejudgement is one way that we stop ourselves from doing new things, thinking new thoughts and venturing into new territories. Think about all the things you knew were absolutely true and then you discovered otherwise. You could now move on to the next stage of your life.All thoughts and belief systems need be challenged. You may at the end of the letting go of what you think you know return back to your original beliefs and find that they have changed slightly and become stronger. However, some of your old beliefs may be obsolete and end up being replaced by better beliefs and attitude.One group of beliefs it is important to challenge are generalizations. Whenever someone (it could be you or someone else) says, "All XXXX are YYYY." See if you find a counterexample. Thus if you find yourself saying, "All women drivers drive badly." See if you have ever seen a woman driver who drove well. Another way to challenge you prejudices (another word for prejudgement) is to use facts. The fact is that according to the insurance institute statistics women have fewer accidents than men.You can boost your self-esteem by challenging your negative beliefs about yourself. I am going to give you a few examples:

• "I'll never be able to do XXXX because I too YYYY." Challenge this by thinking about any body with more handicaps (YYYY) than you. Thus if you are fifty nine years old and you want to start a new business but you have the negative self talk of, "I'll never be able to get that business running because I'm too old," think of Colonel Sanders who started Kentucky Fried Chicken

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after receiving his first social security check and deciding that it was not enough. If you think you are too young think of all the very young millionaires throughout history but especially now. If you think you do not have enough education think of all the billionaires who do not have high school diplomas but hire hundreds of Ph.Ds.

• "It's no use. I might as well give up." Think of the times before you have felt dejected and you did not give up and eventually you succeeded.

• "I'm only one person. What can I do?" Think of all the individuals who made a huge difference to the world. Think of Rosa Parks or the current election impass in Florida.

Day 299:Boost your self-esteem by watching the sunrise.

We have previously suggested you watch the sunset. Today we do the other side of the coin. When you start the day well you can use the momentum gained to continue having an excellent day. It is much easier at winter time to watch the sunrise so this is the time to use this self-esteem booster.Set your clock for about an hour earlier than the sunrise. When you wake up start the day well by asking good questions. Next meditate for about twenty minutes and now you can go out to watch the sunrise. It is best to go to a high place in nature to watch the sunrise but anywhere is better than not doing it at all.As the sun rises have an attitude of gratitude. Thank the Creator for this whole universe including all the galaxies, stars, and solar systems. Understand that the planets of the Solar system were created from matter created in supernovae. These old stars lived their lives and exploded producing the heavier elements used to create the planets and all life on the planets. So as you look at the fading stars and the twilight of dawn think about the physical truth that we are all star people.Now expand that material reality to your soul and spirit. In this case the soul come from beyond space and time and the spirit is a drop from the eternal Spirit whose center is everywhere and circumference is nowhere.As the first rays of sunlight burst out greet the day with love in your heart. Understand that this light symbolizes the inner light which permeates everything. It is this transcendental light that Genesis 1 talks about when it says, "The Elohim said let there be light."Finally as the sun rises think about all the wonderful things you can be thankful for and allow the sun to kiss you with its warmth and caring. Thank your Creator for providing you the Earth, Sun, and the rest of the Universe and start the rest of a most wonderful day.

Day 300:Boost your self-esteem by taking action.

Let me start with a story:A fundamentalist Christian was caught in a skyscraper on fire. He was praying for God to save him. The fire was coming up from the lower floors forcing him to move up from floor to floor. When he was at the ninth floor a fireman reached him with

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the ladder and told him that he would save him. The fundamentalist said, "I believe in Jesus. God will save me." So the fireman saved a few others. As the fire engulfed the ninth floor the "true believer" was forced up above the range of the ladder. Now the firemen held a net underneath him and told him to jump. Once again he said. "I believe in Jesus. God will save me." Again the fire reached him and he had to go above the level from which he could jump. As the fire went up he was forced to keep going up until he reached the roof. Now a helicopter came to save him and again he said, "I believe in Jesus. God will save me." Soon the building burnt down and he was with Saint Peter. He tolled the Saint, "I believe in Jesus. Why didn't God save me?" To this the Saint replied, "God first sent you the fireman with the ladder. Then he sent you the firemen with the net and finally he sent you the firemen with the helicopter. Each time you rejected his aid."This story illustrates the point that God helps those who help themselves or as Sophocles said, "Heaven never helps the man who will not act." Thus you can do all your affirmations, positive thinking, goal setting and everything else we have recommended in this series but ultimately you need to take action in order to reach your goals. The purpose of the affirmations, goal setting, and the rest of the things we suggest you do is so that you can act.A research study concluded that the best managers take their time deciding. Once they have decided they take action and continue acting toward their decision. They are slow to change their mind. However, if they realize that their decision needs be changed, they act quickly and decisively to move toward a new goal. The real point of this research is that it is better to take action even if the decision is sub-optimal than to wait to get the ideal.In exercise there is an adage "No pain, no gain." The same is true of any action. In order to produce the best results you need to take risks and move beyond your comfort zone. We have suggested that you challenge yourself but not so excessively that you end up giving up. Thus have your goals, know what you want and then take a risk and act toward your goals. Push yourself beyond where you are at this moment. Celebrate all victories great and small using each to gain more momentum to reach your goals. As you reach each goal move the goal post further away so you keep yourself challenged and continue acting toward your new goals.

Day 301:Boost your self-esteem by waiting.

Yesterday we suggested you boost your self-esteem by taking action. Today we examine the other side of the coin by knowing that there are times to act and there are times to take no action. As the philosopher said, "There is a time and place for everything." The real issue is to understand when it is time to act and when is it time to wait.I want to give driving as a metaphor for life. When the road is clear, it is time to drive (take action). When the road is jammed, it is time to wait. Thus when there are things you can do to take you nearer to your goals, take action and when there is nothing positive you can do, wait. We have suggested that you use your waiting time in positive ways including saying your affirmations. Other things

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you may do while waiting include:• Taking time off to prepare for the next time you need to act. • Rest and recuperate. • Educate yourself and learn something new. • Plan ahead. • Have fun. • Meditate. • Exercise. • Play games. • Be thankful. • Take deep breaths. • Think about beautiful things. • Think of reasons to be thankful.

A very important aspect of the art of waiting is to wait gracefully when someone is late for a meeting. I know I have had great difficulty with this one. When a loved one is late to arrive home, I get very concerned and imagine all sorts of nasty things happening. However, since I have used some of the above methods, I can calm myself and get away from negative images filling my mind.

Day 302:Boost your self-esteem by practicing unconditional love

on yourself.We have previously mentioned over and over again that you can use unconditional love to boost you self-esteem:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ βεινγ ασσερτιϖε ανδ ατ τηε σαµε τιµε χοϖερινγ ψουρ αδϖερσαριεσ ωιτη υνχονδιτιοναλ λοϖε

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ βεινγ χοµπασσιονατε ανδ νοτ αρρογαντ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ βεινγ οπεν µινδεδ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ συρρουνδινγ ποιντσ οφ χονφλιχτ ωιτη

πεαχε • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ υνδερστανδινγ τηατ τηοσε ωηο πυση

ψουρ ηοτ βυττονσ αρε ψουρ βεστ τεαχηερσ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ συρρουνδινγ ψουρ ωορλδ ωιτη λοϖε • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ σενδινγ λοϖε το φριενδσ ανδ φοεσ αλικε • • Γρεετ εαχη ονε ψου µεετ ωιτη λοϖε ιν ψουρ ηεαρτ • • Συρρουνδ σοµεονε ορ σοµε σιτυατιον ψουρ δισλικε (ηατε) ωιτη λοϖε • • Λοϖε ισ Φορ Γιϖινγ....

All the above articles use unconditional love in one way or another. In today's article we suggest that you boost your self-esteem by surrounding yourself with unconditional love. You can do that by:

• Loving yourself with all you flaws. This does not mean you love your flaws but that you accept your flaws as the first step in changing them.

• Forgiving yourself for any real or imagined failures. Again this is the unconditional loving forgiveness which Jesus had. It ends with, "Go and sin

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no more." By the way this is a good place to write about the original meaning of the word sin. When an archer missed the target he was sinning. Thus when you miss your goals, you sin. It is not the end of the world. It is a result to help you move toward your target. This does not mean that you should sin on purpose, but that you should sincerely do your best and then use feedback to correct your deeds.

• Look at yourself in the mirror first thing in the morning and last thing at night and smile and say, "I love you." Note that this love is not a selfish love but is the love of a parent for a child or the love that the Creator has for the creation. It is the love of the Self* for the self**.

• Use the following affirmation at least one hundred times a day for thirty days: "I like myself."

Day 303:Boost your self-esteem by looking at the world from the

other person's point of view.There are many occasions where there are conflicts that both sides think they are absolutely right. The current election fiasco and the Israel/Palestine conflict are two such situations. Starting with the elections if you look at it from the Bush side, he won under the rules fair and square. And if you look at it from the Gore side, he too was the absolute winner. After all if you cared about the intentions of the Florida voters Al Gore would have won by about forty thousand vote. However if you have a certain reading of the law you can construe that Bush won.As far as the Israel/Palestine conflict is concerned we have two groups of people with historical and emotional claims to the same land. The Jews have ruled Palestine for about 700 years in the last 3000 years and the Palestinians have lived in Palestine for at least 1500 years in the last 3000 years. The point is that in both the above cases the partisans of the two sides lie, distort the truth and exaggerate the differences between the groups, making matters worse. However, if one refuses to demonize the other side, and admit that there are always too sides of a coin, one can start making peace and compromises are possible.As usual I have used the above two examples as metaphors for what goes on in our own personal lives. Is there any conflict in your life where you refuse to see the other person's point of view? Is there some loved one that you have not talked to for years over what may be a misunderstanding?The "Course in Miracles" writes about a holy instant which is when two former enemies make peace. This making peace between brothers* is the biggest and best possible miracle. It is something which is possible for all of us. We have previously mentioned many methods of making peace with others. Walking a mile in your brother's moccasins is another excellent method to help bring peace to your world.Remember that when you have animosity, you bring both of the parties down and both of you will suffer. On the other hand, when you make peace, both will gain and you will make life so much easier on yourself. You will gain time and energy that you can spend on your positive goals and can achieve so much more. Thus the spiritual

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gain will lead to material gain and you will boost your self-esteem.

Day 304:Boost your self-esteem by telling the difference between

learning lessons from mistakes and feeling guilty.I was at an Iranian gathering and there was some wonderful Iranian Baklava and other very sweet Iranian delicacies. I give myself to eat and enjoy whatever I desire since I exercise enough to compensate. However, on this night I just did not feel like giving myself a sugar boost late at the evening when I had not eaten. So I looked on as my friends ate the wonderful sweets. A lady offered me some and when I politely smiled and refused we started talking and she implied that even though she ate some she would later feel guilty. I explained that since she had decided to eat the delicacy, she might as well enjoy it and need not feel guilty.This got me thinking about feeling guilty. Unfortunately many organized religious and other social systems like dysfunctional families thrive on guilt in order to allow one person have power over others. I believe that guilt is one of the most negative feelings and can only lower one's self-esteem. When I say this to people, I typically hear, "But if people do not feel guilty, how are they going to not repeat the same mistake?" My answer is that we all make mistakes and wise people may learn from their mistakes so they do not repeat the mistakes. However, guilt is no guarantee of not doing the same act. In fact often when we feel guilty it is as though we are absolved from learning the lesson. The unconscious thought process is something like, "Well I paid for my mistake by feeling bad so I have cleaned my karma."Unfortunately I do not know of any statistical research to demonstrate the above but I have much anecdotal evidence that when people feel guilty they do not learn the lessons involved. In the case of food, my recommendation is to give yourself treats now and again. When you do that, enjoy it. Enjoy it a huge amount. That way you can eat other foods at other times. But when you allow guilt to come into your indulgences you will not satisfy your need for that luxury of the food you love and you'll in fact go back to it quicker than if you had admitted that on this night you are going to really appreciate the food you eat with caring about calories, fat content or anything else.

Day 305:Boost your self-esteem by eating something new.

Variety is the spice of life and taking a risk improves one's self-esteem. We combine these two facts in today's piece. When you eat something new you are training your mind to have the courage to take a risk for the sake of greater rewards. Thus there is a small chance of ending up trying something you do not like, but there is a much greater chance that you'll discover something new and wonderful you'll like.When I was sixteen I spent the Christmas and Easter holiday's in Paris so I could improve my French. I was staying with a family "en pension." The family had about eight borders from different countries. I was the youngest. The others were in their twenties. The food was out of this world. The lady of the house would start cooking for the day at about five a.m. each morning. She would buy the best ingredients in

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the markets and then do magic on them. Since at this time I was at an English boarding school the wonderful food was an extra treat for me. Please understand that whereas French cuisine is one of the best in the world, English cooking with the overdone vegetables is one of the worst and British boarding school food is just about the worst you can find in the known and most probably unknown universe.So I was in a gustatory heaven. I tired everything that was served and drank a lot of wine and Champaign with the meals. Note the European's are much more civilized about consuming alcohol in moderation at a young age but that's another story. One night they had a huge bowl of escargot. Every one else gobbled them down, but I looked and thought, "uggg, I am not eating those horrible snails." Everyone else kept telling me how good they tasted and how I was missing out. The German had some, so did the Canadian and even the American young lady had some. Eventually I got over my original prejudgment (prejudice) and tried one. It was one of the best tasting foods I had ever tired. Unfortunately by now this was the end of the bowl and I did not get to eat a second one. So I learned my lesson the hard way. I have had many dishes of escargot since then, but none has been as good as that original home cooked one.Since then I try new foods. When I go to ethnic restaurants I ask for help and look at the food that others are eating. I stretch my eating habits and nine time out of ten I am nicely surprised. If I see the new food at the supermarket, I try that too. If it is not for me I do not need to try it a second time.And again remember that this is a metaphor for the rest of your life. Take a risk in all areas of your life and boost your self-esteem.

Day 306:Boost your self-esteem by appreciating what you have.

Two events have made me think about this issue. One of our cats was not feeling too well and we had to take her to the veterinarian. She got some vitamins shots but the blood tests came out well and she has no major illness. Naturally we treat her very gingerly since then.At the same time my shoulder has a bad sprain and is in quite a lot of pain. This got me thinking about how we only notice ill-health. When things are good and we feel well we do not notice. Nor do we appreciate things being in place. We only notice when things go out of kilter. This is a natural tendency of the brain which as I have mentioned previously works by management by exception. However, we are human beings and have more than just a brain preprogrammed by biological inevitability.As conscious sentient beings we can reprogram our brains to do what we choose. We have a free will. Today I suggest that in order to boost your self-esteem you decide to appreciate what you have without needing to be reminded of how lucky you are by feeling ill or losing something or some body. I have mentioned before that when you appreciate something the value of that thing appreciates. So appreciate your good fortune when you have it. Each morning when you wake up and each night just before you go to sleep you may wish to spend a few seconds thinking about a few things you have to appreciate. I am going to give a few things you may wish to appreciate and be thankful for:

• Your health. Chances are you are fully healthy today and do not have any

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major pains and aches. Even if you do have a few problems, appreciate all the parts of your body which are working well.

• Your longevity. A hundred years ago the average life expectancy of humans was less than forty years and today we have nearly doubled that for a person born in the year 2000.

• Your are materially extremely wealthy. Any American living above the poverty line today has more material wealth than wealthiest person on Earth a hundred and fifty years ago. I want to mention some things that even the richest person on Earth did not have in 1850: hot and cold running water with baths and everything else which goes with that; electric light; refrigerators. The list is endless and I have not mentioned airplanes, microwave ovens, computers, mobile phones, cars and all other things we take for granted. Value these conveniences of modern life and thank the Creator for having them.

• Your relationships and choices you have. We complain that there so many divorces. In the good old days there were so many unhappy marriages. Women had to stay married to bad husbands for economic reasons. Such circumstances are tantamount to legalized prostitution.

• Appreciate that even though we have miles to go in treating people with equality, the lot of minorities has improved. In the Florida elections the voting rights of thousand of African Americans were trampled upon and we have heard very little about this in the standard news media. However, thirty years ago this type of thing was going on in the open. Today we pay lipservice to equality of opportunity and no matter how long it takes we will get to Martin Luther King's dream. Appreciate how far we have advanced while noting that we have a long way to go.

Day 307:Boost your self-esteem by having a holistic attitude - I.

Human beings are a total individual being even though often we disown parts of ourselves and we divide ourselves into multiple parts. We talk about integral parts of ourselves in the third person. We talk about, "my body," "my mind," "my soul," and I use the same terms. The question I have is that if the my in my body has meaning as the my in my car, who is the I which owns the body?In reality we are body/mind/soul/spirit as a unity. Thus if the body changes so does the mind/soul/spirit. The same is true about other parts of the hole person. Your mind affects the body/soul/spirit and so on. I have used the terms soul and spirit and many people wonder what is the difference between these two:

• The soul is personal and is the part of eternal person which reincarnates if you believe in reincarnation or the part which experiences a personal afterlife if that is what you believe. If you prefer depth psychological terms the soul is the equivalent to the personal unconscious of Jung. In many other psychological systems this is the unconscious mind. In some wisdom traditions the soul is called the lower self.

• The spirit is the portion of the Spirit which is within each individual. It is

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impersonal and universal. Other terms for the spirit are "the Christ within," "the kingdom of God," "the Buddha within." In Jungian terms this is the Self the most important archetype of the Collective Unconscious. Many wisdom traditions call this "the higher self." As far as the mystics are concerned there is only one entity in the universe. All divisions of this One into the infinite objects are "illusions" caused by duality. This One true entity the union of Creator/creation is the Spirit. Our spirit is a drop from the vast ocean of the Spirit. It is from the presence of the spirit within each person that we are all children of God. When we are fully aware of our spirit we are engulfed in the one and may say, "I and the father are one," or "I am the truth," as various mystics have said and lost their lives for.

Back to holism: In order to fully appreciate your life you need appreciate all aspects of it. You need nourish your body/mind/soul/spirit as a whole. When you do not look after any of the above four the other three will suffer. However, one plus one plus one plus one is much more than four and when you look after all of you in a holistic sense you will improve all aspects of your life and boost your self-esteem.

Day 308:Boost your self-esteem by having a holistic attitude - II.

Yesterday we wrote part I of this article where we mentioned that each human beings, are body/mind/soul/spirit and must be considered as a single unity. Today we move on with the need to have a holistic attitude about our external lives. Thus we have the following aspects of our lives:

• Health -- you need to look after your health in order to have the energy and vitality to work well in the other aspects of your life.

• Family -- here we all have at least one family, the one we were born into. Most will also acquire various in laws and other relatives through their own and their immediate family getting married. The interesting thing about this aspect of one's life is the fact that from a non-mystical point of view we have no choice over these people we are connected to for all our lives. How we react with our extended family is an important aspect of the totality of our lives. Later we will have an article about the mystical theories about how in fact we choose all the important people of our lives.

• Other relationships -- here there is more choice available. However, we still meet people in various places such as school, work, places of worship, clubs, neighborhood and such places. We choose our friends among the people we meet and some friendships are life long and can survive distances of space and time. Other, on the other hand, may be short lived. You get a new job and make some friends. You change the job and do not have much to do with most but some friendships continue no matter what.

• Job and career -- we used to have little choice about this. If someone's father was a coal-miner, the chances are that he would be a coal-miner. People would work at the same job for the same company for all their working lives. Today this has changed. The average American works for ten companies in four different fields. The old social contract between the worker and big corporations no longer exists. Most companies have no loyalty to their

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employees and will move factories overseas for one or two percent extra profit. It is best to look toward the future and understand that ultimately we each work for ourselves. Often it is best to take a risk and go for a large future gain rather than a small short term gain.

• Education and learning -- in today's world education need be lifelong. Part of this is because of the flux in the job market and the fact that with technological advances we need to continue learning new skills to remain competitive in the job market. Another reason to keep learning a life long quest is that the brain needs be exercised as much as the rest of the body. Research has shown that people who learn new skills at advancing age are much less likely to suffer fro senility or Alzheimer's.

• Fun and recreation -- this is an absolute necessity of life. Most animals that I know of play what appear like games and need to have fun. As far as human beings are concerned this is a most important aspect of the totality of our life. To have a well balanced life we can intermingle the different aspects of out lives so that we have fun during learning, job, and the other parts of our lives.

• Society -- human beings are social animals and as such we need to contribute and give back some of the gains we have made thanks to living in the society. Thus we can lovingly give of ourselves, both material goods and time, to society through charity. Mentoring and teaching what you know is another way of giving back to others.

• Environment -- we live on spaceship Earth as a single environmental unit. We need to be aware of the environment and give back to mother Earth which nourishes and feeds us in all aspects of our lives.

• Religion and spirituality -- no matter what religion we have or do not have we are spiritual beings and need spend some time each day in spiritual quests. These need not be things that everyone thinks as spiritual quests but are whatever you think is spiritual. Smelling a rose or looking at a sunset may be highly spiritual actions. A friend mentioned that whenever one gets a sense of awe one is being spiritual. I tend to agree with my friend.

Now as for the holistic attitude: it is important to look after all the above aspects of you life. There are workaholics who spend all their energy and time at work. Others just want to have fun and are ready to damage other parts f their lives for the sake of having fun. Most spiritual traditions emphasize the need for work as part of a spiritual life.Thus examine your life in terms of the above aspects of your life. Is your life well balanced or is it one sided? If it is one sided concentrate more on the things you life lacks and less on the excesses.

Day 309:Boost your self-esteem by using your negative energy in

a positive way.A friend phoned me today complaining about how the election had been stolen by the brothers Bush. No only was my friend angry and depressed but he was also

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despondent and wanted to give up. He said, "What's the use of voting, if they don't count your votes." I could see his point, but having grown up in Europe where there are very fixed limits on election expenditures and where our lobbying would be considered as bribery, I am rather cynical about our so called democracy so the fiasco in Florida does not surprise me. I tried to calm my friend but he kept getting more angry and despairing. I thought to myself, "Wow, here is lots of good emotional energy going to waste." I remembered the movie Network with the line, "I'm as mad as hell and I won't take it any more." It became obvious to me that the way for my friend to get out of that funk was to use the energy created by his negative energy in a positive way. I told him to fight the injustice that he felt.My friend complained that he is only one person. I reminded him of all the great changes that have happened thanks to one person who refused to accept injustice. We came up with the following things he might do even if he is only one person:

• Boycott goods from Florida. • Write letters to the editors of newspapers with his reasons why he thought

the election has been stolen • Write to his congress person and senators. • Start getting ready for the next congressional election in two years. • Use his sense of humor to ridicule the usurpers. Here I was not suggesting

that he goes around and publicly ridicule the people he thought had stolen the elections, but knowing that laughter is one of the most positive counter to negative emotions use his imagination to see the people he did not like naked with absurd faces and bodies whenever they would appear on the TV looking extra smug.

• He could work harder so he could make some extra money and donate some of the extra earnings to his political party.

By now he was feeling much better and his mood had changed from one of helplessness to one of hope. I gave him the exercise of coming up with other ideas.As usual the above is a metaphor for what you can do with your negative emotions. The truth is that no matter how the elections end, 20 percent of us are going to love it beyond anything, 20 percent are going to think this is an atrocity and the election has been stolen and the majority will be glad the current fiasco is over.However, everyone of us at times does get angry. Every one of us at times gets depressed. We all have these awful negative emotions which can be transformed through directed action to wonderful positive results....Editorial by Javad Hashtroudian:I want to end today's piece with a personal note: When I drive on the freeways and I see some of the places these brilliant taggers have managed to tag, I hate the results of their actions but admire their ingenuity. I am saddened that such great energy is wasted in negative ways. I wonder what may happen if we could have a decent education system and use the energy that these highly creative people have in a positive way. I just want to add a few simple facts:

• Each dollar spent on a child from moment of conception until the age of five will save ten in later life.

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• I don't know the current starting salary but a few years ago at a time when the starting salary of a teacher with a masters was $37,000 the starting salary of a California goalkeeper without even a high school diploma was $50000.

• It costs much more to keep a person in a California jail for one year than to put them through state college.

• We have a higher percentage of our population incarcerated than any other industrial nation.

• We are the only Western country which has capital punishment. Whereas, England, France, Germany etc. do not resort to this form of barbarism, we do share the wonderful company of China, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia and such paragons of civilization in allowing state sanctioned taking of human life.

My positive suggestions: let's increase our teacher's salaries. Let's pay them the respect they deserve. Let's build schools and destroy jails. Let's admit the drug war for an absolute failure and declare victory and spend our energy in drug education and treatment efforts. The drug problem is a public health issue and should not be a legal issue. Let's do whatever it takes to use all the energy of the people in positive ways. Let's improve the quality of our lives rather than the quantity of some abstract average on Wall Street.Please write to us about today's piece. I hope most of you approve but we would love to hear from all. This web site is as much yours as it is ours. Your feedback will help us improve it for you. Many thanks....

Day 310:Boost your self-esteem by thinking about reincarnation.Tony Robbins writes about useful lies. These are ideas that may or may not be true, but you will gain a huge amount if you act as though these ideas are true. I am writing today's piece from such a point of view. It really does not matter if reincarnation is true or not. It does not matter that the majority of the people alive today believe in reincarnation. It does not matter that a third of all Americans believe in reincarnation.What is important is the consequences to this life if you new that you would come back to this world and that the laws of karma will apply to you in this or a future life. Basically karma is the law of cause and effect. That is you'll reap what you saw.This type of karma is demonstrated best in past-life therapy which is an extremely powerful therapeutic technique using hypnosis. Past-life therapy does not rely on any specific belief in reincarnation or actual past lives. In this therapeutic technique you imagine yourself in a past life situation which has a direct relationship with your current problems in your present life in the here and now. If you happen to believe in reincarnation you may wish to look at your moving and healing experience as actual memories of a past life. However, you may find the idea of reincarnation as abhorrent and absurd and then you can look upon your experience as a healing metaphor for your current issues. The point is that past-life therapy works no matter which way you believe. It is a way for your unconscious mind to come up with healing stories, a kind of waking dream similar to the Jungian technique of active imagination.

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Often, in past-life therapy we see a karmic dance between two people who keep in turn victimize and be victims to each other. In one life the first person would abuse the other and then in the next the roles would be reversed. This would continue over many lifetimes until one person would refuse to play and dropped out of this vicious game through forgiveness. This is where the "lie"of reincarnation comes in a practical way in the present life in the here and now.According to past-life therapy research, the best way to make sure you cut all chains binding to a person who has abused you is through forgiveness. When I do forgiveness exercises with my clients and they may be resistant to forgiving someone who has really hurt them, I say this, "The choice is yours.... you can keep the resentment, this may be what you need to do at this time because enough time has not passed for you to be ready to forgive.... But do remember that if you do not eventually forgive this person you may have to spend many life times in the future with this person.... Do you really want to spend more time with this person or are you ready to free yourself from his* influence...." Such a script helps toward easing forgiving once the person is ready.Another reason I like the "lie" of reincarnation is that we know that ultimately we can never get away with it. Every one of our actions will have some affect in our future. It answers the question why do bad things happen to good people? With reincarnation life goes on through many many incarnations and from that perspective the so called evils of the world make more sense. All the mystical systems that I know of believe in some form of reincarnation. Note to me myths are psychological truths which have a higher truth value than historical objective reality. Myths come from the collective unconscious and are thus more meaningful than the soap opera of history. I like this myth about reincarnation:The purpose of life and reincarnation is to learn life lessons. In one life you may need to learn humility, in another to cope with having too much money, in yet another you face a certain type of emotional hardship. You keep repeating the same lesson until you learn the meaning of that lesson and go on to the next thing you need to learn. Given the above, before you are to reincarnate in the physical realm, you meet up with a group of other souls who will play important roles in your life. You each decide your lessons for the coming life. One person will be the abuser, the other will freely choose to be abused. In this case the lesson may be to forgive each other in spite of all the previous abuse. Your guardian angels and higher teachers will also guide you to choose the right environment to be born with. Thus according to this myth espoused by many mystical systems you have chosen everything about this life freely since this is the ideal life for you to learn what you have to learn.This does not mean that you accept whatever happens without changing things. The first step toward change is the acceptance of whatever is, but the next step to take action. In this way you fulfill the plan of your life and learn what you have to learn.Another reason I like the idea of reincarnation is that the filth that we are producing on Earth will come back in the future and pay us back in a another life. So not only are we destroying the environment for our children but also for ourselves in a future life.... Perhaps if everyone believed in the myth of reincarnation we would think about the future in hundreds of years and not just in term of how NASDAQ is going

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to do in the next week or next quarter if we think for the long term.Please write to us about today's piece. I hope most of you approve but we would love to hear from all. This web site is as much yours as it is ours. Your feedback will help us improve it for you. Many thanks....Books by Tony Robbins:Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical & Financial Destiny! Unlimited Power : The New Science of Personal Achievement The Five Rituals of Wealth : Proven Strategies for Turning the Little You Have into More Than Enough (by Tod Barnhart, Tony Robbins )Notes from a Friend Giant Steps : Small Changes to Make a Big Difference : Daily Lessons in Self-Mastery

Day 311:Boost your self-esteem by thinking about the one Spirit.Tony Robbins writes about useful lies. These are ideas that may or may not be true, but you will gain a huge amount if you act as though these ideas are true. Yesterday I wrote about one of these useful lies. I wrote, "Boost your self-esteem by thinking about reincarnation." I wrote this about myths: To me myths are psychological truths which have a higher truth value than historical objective reality. Myths come from the collective unconscious and are thus more meaningful than the soap opera of history. Today I continue with another myth that all mystics agree with: There is only one true entity in the universe. Different mystics call this by different names. Plato and the neo-Platonic philosophers called it simply the One or the Beautiful. Jesus referred to this one which is within all and everything as "The kingdom of God." Some Sufi mystics call it the Truth. The Hindus call it Brahma. Rumi called it, "the Heart." Lao Tzu called it, "the Tao." I like the term the Spirit. I also like the Jungian term, "the Self" which is the center of the Collective Unconscious.It really does not matter what we may call it since as Lao Tzu writes: "Tao, the subtle reality of the universe cannot be described. That which can be described in words is merely a conception of the mind. Although names and descriptions have been applied to it, the subtle reality is beyond the description." Also since I am quoting from "Tao Teh Ching," the sacred book of Taoism by Lao Tzu, I better add something to put this whole series in the correct perspective: "Those who know, do not speak.... Those who speak, do not know....." So please take what I write with a grain of salt. I do my best to share my knowledge with you, but I don't know that much....Back to the One -- according to the mystics and modern physics there is only one unity which has ultimate reality. All differentiation and duality can only have relative reality but not absolute reality. We can never see the absolute since the glory of the absolute would totally overwhelm our minds. However, mystics and masters can have small glimpses of the ultimate. The point for today is that the ultimate is One and is not many. Thus in some way we are all part of the same Spirit. Now comes the practical

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convenience of this lie. If there is only the One, in some way you and I are the same being. In some way my enemy and I are not only brothers but we are a single person. Since I understood this myth of the single Spirit, it has been easier for me to love my enemies. Please understand that I and most of the people I know anyway are not saints. Thus most of my life I live in the normal dualistic world and thus I do have enemies. I get angry. I suffer from road rage, etc.. What the myth of the One does for me is to get over my anger quicker. I can forgive my brother for the supposed transgressions quicker. My philosophy is that when I forgive someone, I am being selfish since I am only forgiving myself. In fact I am being selfish in a very positive way since through forgiving apparent enemies we may free our lives and move on so we may achieve more.When I see someone and silently I bless her* and greet her with love in my heart, again I know that from the angle of the Self I am blessing myself. So once again this myth of the One makes your life easier and more fun. Hence by using this point of view that we share a single spirit you may boost your self-esteem.A story for today:A novice monk learned the truth that there is only the one Spirit and all beings are the same one God. Next day he was walking toward the monastery when he heard a loud cry, "Mad elephant on a rampage. Get out of the way!" He thought to himself, "I'm God and the Elephant is God. Why should God be afraid of God?" So he continued to walk in the middle of the road as everyone else ran away. Again he heard, "Mad elephant on a rampage. Get out of the way!" Once more he thought to himself and decided that since he was God there was nothing to worry about. Just then the mad elephant came to him, grabbed him by his trunk and threw him to the side, injuring him. A few hours later he arrived at the monastery all bloodied from his encounter with the mad elephant. He complained to the master, "Master did you not say that I am God?" The master replied that it was the truth. So he told the master the story of how the elephant had injured him. The master said, "It is true, that you are God and the elephant is God, but why didn't you listen to the God that is the elephant keeper telling you to get out of the way."So do remember that it is true that we are one Spirit but we do live in this dualistic world and when an elephant keeper warns you of the mad elephant do get out of his way.Please write to us about today's piece. I hope most of you approve but we would love to hear from all. This web site is as much yours as it is ours. Your feedback will help us improve it for you. Many thanks....Recommended books:Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu.Books by Tony Robbins:Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical & Financial Destiny! Unlimited Power : The New Science of Personal Achievement The Five Rituals of Wealth : Proven Strategies for Turning the Little You Have into More Than Enough (by Tod Barnhart, Tony Robbins )Notes from a Friend Giant Steps : Small Changes to Make a Big Difference : Daily Lessons in Self-

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Mastery

Day 312:Boost your self-esteem by celebrating the lives of those

who have passed on.I am writing this on December 7, 2000 for the December 8, the twentieth anniversary of the assassination of John Lennon. No doubt I'll remember his cruel death and I'll cry a little. It is difficult for me to write this without tears in my eyes. It is good to grieve for the death of someone you love or hero-worship. Grief is a good cleansing feeling. On such a day no doubt I'll remember my own parents, my uncles who died young and my cousin who died of AIDS at the age of 31. I'll have my catharsis as I remember all who are no longer with us....However, the best way to remember those who are not here is celebrate their lives. Tomorrow I'll play many Lennon songs and be happy that I had the privilege to be alive at this time so I could hear his words and music. I'll listen and cry and laugh and have joy. I'll send him love, thanks and blessing for all the happy times he has given me.One of my uncles was extremely gregarious and joyful. He owned one of the top restaurants in Teheran. He loved the good life and whenever we would eat together he would get the best meat in town from his restaurant and we had the some of the best kabobs in Iran. The important thing about my uncle was that the way he appreciated whatever was going on (food, music, dancing, the sun, sea -- life in general) was contagious one would end up enjoying life in his presence. I bet even fast food would taste out of this world when he was present. The point is that today more than twenty years after he has died, whenever we have great fun, whenever the food or the view is out of this world, we remember him. He is with us in our hearts.They say that so long as someone is in your hearts, she* will be alive and with you. So keep your loved ones alive by keeping them in your memory. Remember the best of times you spent together. Remember with love and joy....So John, Martin Luther King, the Kennedy brothers and all the others taken away from us at the prime of their lives, you will be with us forever. You are more alive than most people who are living a mediocre life....

IMAGINE....Give peace a chance....

Please write to us about today's piece. I hope most of you approve but we would love to hear from all. This web site is as much yours as it is ours. Your feedback will help us improve it for you. Many thanks....

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NamasteDay 313:

Boost your self-esteem by appreciating your intelligence.

Many years when I was a neurochemist I went to a brain science conference. One whole day was devoted to the issue of intelligence and IQ. Two interesting things came out of this day. One was an answer to the question, "can we have culture free tests for intelligence?" An anthropologist described his experience in a "primitive" tribe in Africa. He described how he had given their adults a "culture free" IQ test and demonstrated "scientifically" that the adults in this tribe were less intelligent than five year old Europeans.He remained with the tribe for quite a while and became their friend and was accepted among them. He said that a few months later, one day he was walking in the jungle with a five year old native. As he was being led through the dark underbrush, every now and again the child would stop him and tell him that there was a lion two hundred yards ahead. Sure enough in five minutes he would see the lion. The child guided him to his destination in a short time when he would have been totally lost by his own. As he thought of himself lucky not be lion dinner, he realized that if there was the equivalent of a psychologist of that tribe and he had tested his intelligence he would have discovered that he was less intelligent than the five year old.Another conference. Participant discussed the effect of cultural differences in competition on test results. In some cultures the communal welfare is so much more important than the idea on an individual winning that at schools the best student do not do their best in order not to shame the students who would not score so well in the test. In most societies there is a reasonable mix of competitiveness and cooperation. Unfortunately in some societies winning is the only thing. That may be reasonable for a professional sports team, but is an absolutely negative attitude for people's self-esteem. Winning at any cost not only harms the looser but it also harms the winner's self-esteem since deep down she* knows that she gave of her soul and damaged her spirit in order to win at any cost.I gave the above as an introduction to the idea that we have multiple intelligences and we should appreciate our minds for what they are. We have at least the following intelligences:

• Verbal/Linguistic --the capacity to use words and language to communicate with self and others.

• Logical/Mathematical -- the capacity to understand and deal with mathematics and logical entities.

• Natural -- the capacity to observe and understand the natural world around us. The five year old boy and his culture obviously had a much higher amount of this intelligence than we have in an urban environment.

• Bodily/Kinesthetic -- the capacity to manipulate objects with one's body using large and fine motor skills.

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• Visual/Spatial -- the capacity to think in two or three dimensions. • Musical/Rhythmic -- the capacity to play music and dance as well as enjoy

and appreciate these two arts. • Interpersonal -- the capacity to understand and communicate with others. • Intrapersonal -- the capacity to understand and communicate with oneself.

In traditional schools and the IQ test measure the first two of the above intelligences. Most skills use more than one of the above intelligences. At the same time a high intelligence in some of the above areas may make someone less skillful in some other areas. Thus many people with an extremely high IQ (mainly: Verbal/Linguistic and Logical/Mathematical) may not have very strong street smarts. Thus we get the absent minded professor.The point for your self-esteem is that we have different levels of the above intelligences and should appreciate what we are good at and understand that we can learn other things. Thus you may have a very good verbal ability but due to wrong schooling have math phobia and score low in math tests. The first thing to notice is that tests are extremely artificial and some people are very good at taking tests and others are not and may suffer from exam phobia. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) is an excellent technique for countering exam phobia.Going beyond tests it is relatively easy to improve one's skills through practice. Now someone who is not proficient at mathematics may never be a math genius but you can always improve your skills at any age. Please remember that you are not in competition with anyone else. You just want to improve your skills one step at a time. One of the best way to improve your skills is to appreciate whatever you have. Remember that when you appreciate something it's value goes up. Thus encourage yourself and use positive affirmations about the intelligences you want to improve.Another point which is important to understand is that the brain can be looked upon from a holistic attitude. Thus when you improve one part of your brain by exercising your brain and improving one intelligence, all of your brain will improve and all of your intelligences will improve. So please understand that you have many intelligences and in some of these you are better and in the others you may improve yourself.Please write to us about today's piece. I hope most of you approve but we would love to hear from all. This web site is as much yours as it is ours. Your feedback will help us improve it for you. Many thanks....

Day 314:Boost your self-esteem by going for a win\win solution.

In the eighties and perhaps since then the idea became wide spread that greed is good. This led to the savings and loan disaster and the quadrupling of our national debt while the rich got much richer and the rest of us received a few crumbs. At the same time the winner take all attitude which derived from professional sports infected the rest of the society. We have made winning so important that parents fight over their children's little league games.In fact greed for the sake of greed is evil. It damages society and damages the greedy person's self-esteem. If all you want is to have more, you'll never be satisfied and

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your self-esteem will suffer. So you may become a multi-bilionair and if you do it out of greed rather than a dream you have you'll never have enough. Do not get me wrong there is nothing wrong with material well being if you it is the result of you following your dream and you share with others.Again winning is good. Winning is wonderful, but not at any cost. Here are some examples of how having a win/win attitude will improve your self-esteem:

• I want to start with a dreamer, Henry Ford. He had a dream. He wanted to put a car in the home of every American. He innovated and used the production line which was a huge technological advance for the time. This way he could fulfill his dream from a manufacturing point of view. But Ford realized that in order to sell his cars he needed middle class buyers who could afford to buy his cars. So he started to give his workers high enough salary so they could afford to buy his cars. This win/win attitude gave Henry Ford his dream and forced all industrial concerns to start increasing the wages of their workers too. Now Henry Ford was ruthless and no doubt greedy too, but the main thing that drove him and others who have made America great is that they had great dreams. Henry Ford also gave us the great statement for boosting one's self-esteem: "Whether you think you can, or you can't, you're right."

• Sales persons and corporations who push their advantage to the limit may have short term gains but those who have a win/win attitude and work with their customers end up with much higher long term gains. The best sale person's are those who care the most about their customer's welfare. A friend of mine advises his customers to buy the best product for their needs even if this is made by a competing company. He tells me that every now and then he loses a sale but he gains many more by the referrals he gets from the person who has bought the ideal product for his needs.

• In sports or games when you win all the time the fun goes out of the game and soon the other side are not interested in playing with us. It is much better to handicap yourself so that the other side may win at times. At the same time by handicapping yourself you will challenge yourself and will be forced to improve your game. Thus great chess players may play against inferior players by giving up a piece at the beginning of the game.

Please write to us about today's piece. I hope most of you approve but we would love to hear from all. This web site is as much yours as it is ours. Your feedback will help us improve it for you. Many thanks....

Day 315:Boost your self-esteem by critical thinking.

Human beings are supposed to be: the paragon of animals; made in God's image; half angel, half beast. And yet we are not the strongest, fastest, largest of animals. Our senses are pretty limited relative to other animals. Most birds have five color sensors while we only have three, thus they see much more vivid colors of a larger range than we do. Our sense of smell is pretty week compared to most mammals -- although I thank God for this since imagine what the world would be like if your sense of smell was a hundred times stronger and you entered a cigar smoke filed

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room. We do not have much of claws to speak of. Our fur is pretty nonexistent and yet we live all over the globe and hopefully from now on we will have some human beings in space on a continual basis.So what makes this physically week, animal the paragon? The Creator granted us the faculty of thinking. This is what is meant when we say, "We were created in God's image." That is we are thinking being. If there is a plan that the creator has for us, it is to use our minds critically otherwise why would we be gifted with such a capacity.To those who want us to have blind faith I have this question, "Why would a good Creator give us a faculty which differentiates us from other animals and then tell us not to use it?" In fact all mystical traditions agree that the way to the truth is to use both the left and the right brain. None of them would suggest that we need to have blind faith. At times they may suggest we wait until we understand. However, the ultimate goal of all mystical traditions is both personal experience of the divine and understanding.Throughout history of humanity various power systems have desired total obedience to dogma and the killing of one's critical faculty in the name of the Church, Fatherland or other instruments of control. The National Socialists (Nazi party) developed this to an art form under Hitler and his propaganda chief, Himler, who invented the technology of the big lie. Here the propagandist repeats a lie over and over again until the people are fooled into believing it.Today we have gone beyond Himler and use focus groups, subliminal "RATVERTIZING," and other forms of brain washing and control. The media is concentrated in four or five conglomerates who will soon control most of the news. Not only these multinationals control the news for the rich and by the rich they have the audacity to complain about liberal media bias. All this means that there is a greater need to use your brain critically and to think for yourself. In the present election fiasco both sides have stretched hypocrisy to new depths. Moreover, one side has become an expert in the use of the big lie. One side complains about the other side resorting to the courts, while it was the side who started the legal proceeding first. It talks about the votes having been counted many times, when there are many votes which have not been counted even once. It talks about machines being accurate when their own witnesses admitted that the best way to count close elections is through hand counting.As usual I am using the events of the day as examples of what you may want to do to boost your self-esteem. Otherwise, I personally don't see a huge difference between tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbest. After all so long as Chaney's heart does not give up, the Chaney-Powel administration cannot do that much harm.Here are some techniques of critical thinking:

• Learn formal logic. Logical thinking is the basis of thinking well and not allowing the various spinmaster fooling you.

• Always examine the source of any information to see the bias of the person speaking.

• Read information from all sides of any issue. Become well rounded by reading the points of view of people who you do not believe. Thus if you are a fundamentalist Christian, you may read something by a liberal Christian and

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if you are very adventurous you may read an Atheist tract. • Think for yourself. Ask questions such as: "What makes this true?" "What if

the truth was something else?" "What are the actual facts here." • Go the source of the information. Often a scientific paper is misquoted by

someone, more often due to a misunderstanding than mischief, and then the misquote is repeated over and over again by authorities and once again we have the big lie but this time no one was actually trying to lie. If you are getting information second hand as we almost always do, take it with a grain of salt. I am including the information in this series as things you should not accept willy nilly. We do try to check our sources but like other people we are busy and when we read something, by say Tony Robbins, and most of the things we have read in his books made perfect sense to us and this bit appears good, we will quote it without going the the original source. The point I am making here that even well meaning people may give the wrong information and hence it is best to be on guard and always put on your thinking hat.

• Learn to recognize various propaganda techniques: Ad Hominum attacks: these are when someone attacks another person

rather than the facts in question. Name calling is one of the most common ad hominum attacks.

Resorting to misplaced authority. Here the implication is that because someone is an expert in one field, they must be experts in other fields. Advertisers use this in product endorsements. Why should you care what soda a pop singer drinks, and yet these methods work wonders and that's why corporations pay millions to sports figures, musicians, actors and others to endorse their products. Often for all you know the celebrity in question has never used the product. I am not suggesting that you should discount all endorsements, but that you should be aware of the fact that the advertiser paid the celebrity to endorse her* product. Some people endorse products without having been paid, and then you may pay attention to these endorsements as though they were given by others.

Non-sequitors: Here a series of statements are given. The first statement is true. The second is a logical consequence of the first hence is true. The third follows the second. This goes on for a while. Thus your mind is off guard. Now comes the non-sequitor, which is the Latin for, "does not follow." The new statement sounds as though it is a logical consequence of the previous but is not in reality. Now the author may continue with statements which follow the non-sequitor and end up with a false conclusion and you may not notice since you imagined that each statement followed the previous.

Gigo: Garbage in/garbage out. Here the propagandist starts with the wrong facts and then you accept the wrong conclusion. In the election example there is the wrong fact, the big lie, that the votes have been counted many many times, when in fact the undervotes have never been counted by man nor beast, computers. However, if you accept

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the garbage (wrong fact) the conclusion is obvious: "Don't count them again."

Resort to authority of tradition: Here the propagandist basically is saying that because in the pat the majority of people believed a certain thing, say the world is flat, it is true. Remember that every new idea was resisted and often the truth was silenced. In fact the Catholic church only recently forgave Galileo for daring to say that his telescope showed that Copernicus was right and the Earth goes around the Sun -- such radical subversive thinking!

Resort to authority of a holy book: Here there are two problems. First there are many holy books and they cannot all be right. Given the fact that very few people change their religion, the idea that you were born with the only true religion may be thought of as sheer arrogance. But let's assume the holy book that the propagandist is using is the one and only true holy book. The second problem is even more insurmountable. Most holy books were not written in English and unless you can understand the original language of the holy book the propagandist can say whatever they she wants. Also in most holy books there are enough contradictions that we can find passages to support just about any proposition. In this matter of translation, it is important to understand how the old testament is written. In ancient Hebrew there are no vowels. The vowels are understood and added later as the reader pleases. Also there is no spaces between the words. Thus any passage may be read in many different ways. According to the mystics this is done on purpose since the bible may be read on many different levels and has many meanings. To give you an example of what this would look like read the following: Alsthrsnspcsbtwnthwrdsthsnypssgmybrdnmnydffrntwys. Thus next time someone tells you the Bible says such and such, ask which translation and find out how the translators went about translating the Bible.

• Discover you own biases. We are all biased and when we understand our own biases we can compensate for our predispositions and prejudices.

Day 316:Boost your self-esteem by taking nutritional

supplements.We have often written that human beings are body/mind/soul/spirit as a unity. Thus in order to boost your self-esteem you need to look after all these four. Most of the articles in this series are based on looking after these four parts. Today we suggest a method of looking after your body. Before we go into the detail of what to do, we just want to repeat once more, "When you look after your body, you are telling yourself and the world that you are worth it, and that you care for yourself." Thus by looking after yourself you will boost your self-esteem.The reason we need to supplement our diet is that typically we eat awful foods, full

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of insecticides, hormones, antibiotics, preservatives and other noxious chemicals. Our diet has much more meat than is healthy for human beings and we eat junk food. If we ate a good diet of mostly fruits and vegetables grown organically and lived in an area free of environmental pollution and the destroyed ozone layer, we could do with little or no needed supplements. An important nutritional factor is that typically bright colorful fruits have much excellent vitamins and coenzymes within.Now a caveat: since we are not physicians or nutritionists, we recommend you talk to your own physician or nutritionist in determining the best supplements for you as an individual. We will give you some clues of supplements we have found useful for us:

• Antioxidants such as: Vitamins C, E, selenium, grape seed extract, pycnogenol.

• B vitamins. • Ginkgo Biloba -- this is supposed to increase the blood reaching the brain

and improves memory and other brain functionality. Please note that exercise has the same effect of improving the brain circulation.

• Saw Palmetto -- promotes prostate health and is recommended for men over 40.

• Soy -- very useful for women over 40. • Garlic -- we take odorless garlic supplements. Garlic has many different

bioactive chemicals and improves the immune system. As we mentioned above please discuss any supplements you take with your physician. Even if your physician advises you that you do not need any supplements you will boost your self-esteem since you'll know that you have looked after your body and your diet is perfect.To end this article, we would like to mention something we heard which made much sense to us: "The reason we get fat on junk food is that it has no nutritional value and we eat more since we are lacking nourishment."Please write to us about today's piece. I hope most of you approve but we would love to hear from all. This web site is as much yours as it is ours. Your feedback will help us improve it for you. Many thanks....

Day 317:Boost your self-esteem by treating your body as a

temple of the Spirit.Yesterday we suggested that you boost your self-esteem by taking nutritional supplements. We have often mentioned that we are body/mind/soul/spirit as an indivisible unity. The body may be thought of as the building in which the other three reside. From ancient times philosophers have said a healthy mind in a healthy body. Now the opposite is not true and many people have kept excellent minds in ill bodies. Using the above metaphor of the body being the temple of the Spirit, there are magnificent churches and temples in which there is not much true worship going on and there are decrepit churches that have sincere spirituality.All the above was the starting point which is to accept whatever body you have

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today. Now treat your body as a temple of the Spirit**. What does this mean? Imagine you have a two million dollar classic Ferrari. How would you treat it? Would you put gasoline contaminated with sludge in it? Would you put bad oil in it? Would you tune it? Same with your body eat the best foods. Often you'll much more satisfied if you eat less of better foods. One of the linchpins of this series has been to go for quality rather than quantity. Thus if you buy a small piece of the best cut and the best vegetables and fruits, you'll eat much better foods for the same price. Since the quantity goes down, you'll consume fewer calories. But because it tastes so much better you'll feel more satisfied.Next imagine you have a two million dollar racing horse. How do you treat it? Do you let it grow fat and lazy or do you exercise it so it becomes lean and healthy in top race winning condition? A few years ago the standard thought in exercise medicine was that you had to get your heart beat up to the aerobic range (depends on your age) for at least twelve minutes three times a week in order to improve your heart. In effect this means at minimum three thirty minute brisk walks a week. In fact modern research has shown that all exercise is very useful in protecting your heart. Thus walking up the stairs rather than taking the lift can help. So take two minute walk at lunch time. Park at the other side of the car park and walk to that shop. In fact window shop. It is good for your health and good for your wallet.We have said that accept the body you have now and look after your body. Cleans the temple of the Spirit. The other side of the coin is that by having good thoughts you can improve your body. Thus by being joyful, meditating, relaxing, using self-hypnosis and other mental and spiritual and soulful methods we have mentioned in this series you can improve your body.Please write to us about today's piece. I hope most of you approve but we would love to hear from all. This web site is as much yours as it is ours. Your feedback will help us improve it for you. Many thanks....

Day 318:Boost your self-esteem by doing whatever you do

joyfully.The other night I went for an evening walk and discovered that it was colder than I had imagined and it was windy to boot. At first I was a bit disturbed and my immediate reaction was to stop. However, given that I write most of these articles (Elaine edits them), my second thought was, "How can I use the events of tonight to boost my self-esteem?" I zipped my jacket and started to walk more briskly. By this time I knew I was committed to walking. There was one question left, "Was I going to enjoy myself or not?"I have previously written many times about accepting whatever is. In fact it is impossible not to accept what is. The difference between fools and the wise is that fools complain while they accept and the wise accept joyfully. Thus say you need to wash the dishes. Will you moan and groan or see some kind of a game or spiritual exercise in it?When you do something joyfully, time passes faster and the most mundane and supposedly boring chores may become fun. Doing a chore joyfully is a type of

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working yoga which may bring us closer to the Creator and make our souls soar. This joy is the sugar which makes the medicine go down in a most delightful way. Please write to us about today's piece. I hope most of you approve but we would love to hear from all. This web site is as much yours as it is ours. Your feedback will help us improve it for you. Many thanks....

Day 319:Boost your self-esteem by telling someone you love her*.Many things decrease as you give them away. Fortunately love has the opposite property. The more love you give away the more love you will have. We have previously written the following article about using love to boost your self-esteem:

• • Αλιγνινγ Ψουρσελφ Ωιτη Ψουρ Ανχεστορσ -- in this visualization method you send unconditional love to your ancestors and receive love back from them. This is a very strong technique.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ βεινγ ιν τουχη ωιτη τηε Σπιριτ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ βεινγ ασσερτιϖε ανδ ατ τηε σαµε τιµε

χοϖερινγ ψουρ αδϖερσαριεσ ωιτη υνχονδιτιοναλ λοϖε • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ βλεσσινγ εϖερψονε ανδ εϖερψτηινγ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ συρρουνδινγ τηινγσ ψου χαννοτ χηανγε

ωιτη λιγητ οφ πεαχε • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ συρρουνδινγ ποιντσ οφ χονφλιχτ ωιτη

πεαχε • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ υνδερστανδινγ τηατ τηοσε ωηο πυση

ψουρ ηοτ βυττονσ αρε ψουρ βεστ τεαχηερσ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ βεινγ κινδ ανδ χοµπασσιονατε το οτηερσ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ σενδινγ λοϖε το φριενδσ ανδ φοεσ αλικε • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ ωριτινγ α λεττερ οφ αππρεχιατιον το α

δεαδ περσον In all the above method and many other techniques you boost your self-esteem through sending love to others without their knowledge. Today we suggest you tell the people that you love that you love them. The lack of this communication of love is one of the greatest regrets that people have. Children grow and move away. Elder people die. Friends, siblings, lovers -- so many people to love. So often we may love someone that we are angry at. It is easy to show anger. It is easy to withdraw love. For some people it is not easy to show love. For some reason they think that it's not "manly" to show ones feelings or they may be afraid of being too vulnerable (literally that means being able to be hurt) and whereas it is true that when you tell a person that you love her you are putting yourself on the line, the potential gain is miles more than the slight potential hurt.I used to have a friend who had been hurt by his wife and hence refused to have a loving relationship with anyone else. He would have shallow physical relationships with one woman after another. Fortunately before he passed away he did meet the right person and fell in love. Even though his life was cut short by an illness, he was so happy the last few years of his life when he got over his original hurt.My friend died as a young man, but his story is instructive to all of us that

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eventually one way or other death will separate us (in this life anyway) from our loved ones. So often the biggest regret that people have at their death beds is that they did not love enough and more importantly that they did not show the love that they had. Too often they spent their time on less important things like their ambitions....At the same time the biggest sadness that people have about the death of their loved ones, is that they did not show them the love that they felt while they had the opportunity. It is interesting that those who had shown love to their departed ones can get over their grief much faster than those who did not.So increase the love around you by loving others and showing them that they are loved and hence boost your self-esteem.

Day 320:Boost your self-esteem by changing your drinks to

healthy ones.Today we continue to suggest a way of improving your self-esteem by becoming healthier. When you look after your body, you are telling yourself that you are worth something and not only you lengthen and improve the quality of your life, you boost your self-esteem.The number one nutritional need for animals is oxygen and number two is water. That's why we drink so much. Unfortunately we often mix nutritionally negative things with the water we need. These include sugar or worse still sugar substitutes, alcohol, caffeine and other contaminants.OK let's get serious. There are all types of negative things in the foods we eat and we don't believe in being an extremist. The point is that it is possible to cut down on the harmful chemicals we take without cutting down on the joy we have from drinking. We suggest you change a little of your drinking habits to improve your health a lot. Here are a few suggestions:

• Altogether drinking alcohol in moderation may be good for the heart. Ask you physician for a reasonable amount for you. In order to improve your health drink red wine rather than other alcoholic beverages. Red wine has various antioxidants and other phytochemicals which produce longevity. In France they often add a tiny amount of red wine to the water they drink.

• Change from coffee to tea especially green tea. Tea has antioxidants and green tea appears to have more antioxidants than other types of tea. It is interesting that in the countries with the most centenarians people drink many cups of tea each day.

• Drink herb tea. There are many different types of herb teas with different health giving properties. Go to a health food shop and search their herb tea section.

• Drink less soda. I don't know any healthy type of sugared or diet drinks. Drink fruit juices in stead.

• This is the most important -- drinks at least eight glasses of water each day. When you drink enough water you allow your body to cleans itself. Unfortunately many of the above non-water drinks alter our water balance

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and increase our need for water. So the eight glasses is the minimum. If you drink soda, alcohol or caffeine you need to increase the amount of water you drink.

Day 321:Boost your self-esteem by connecting with some

animals.Earlier we suggested you hug a pet and boost your self-esteem. Today we continue feeding our souls by connecting with animals. When we connect to animals, we become joyous no matter what else is going on in our lives. When we destroy the environment and make so many species extinct we are in reality destroying our selves. From a spiritual point of view all existence is interconnected and is ultimately part of the One, the Beautiful, the Spirit. The relationship we have with other animals is such that when we look after them we look after ourselves and when we hurt them we are hurting ourselves.There are many ways to connect to animals. I suppose the easiest is to go the zoo. You may visit the country side and visit a real farm (not a factory farm). You can also take part in environmental tourism. This type of vacation can be great fun for you and at the same time helps the environment as the beauty of the natural resources of third world countries allows them to earn needed cash and thus they do not need to destroy their environments for wood, mining or factory farming.Another way of connecting to animals is by reading nature books and watching nature TV programs. Hopefully this may move you to actually do something to protect our cousins the animals. I (JH) believe in wise selfishness as the best indicator for morality. Next time you feel like eating a hamburger or other factory produced meat, think about the amount of tropical forest which had to be clear cut to produce the cartel feed. Think of all the green house gases produced in the transportation of the cattle feed to the factory farm. Please understand the planet we are destroying is the planet we are living upon.Now please remember that we believe in moderation. We are not suggesting that you do not eat any red meat. The choice is yours. What we are suggesting that you understand the cost for our planet, our children, and our own health. Once you understand the real costs you can choose wisely. To give you a rough example: one hundred hamburgers produce as much environmental damage as driving a gas guzzler for the US average of 12,000 miles. Once you understand this fact and the fact that all reputable neutral science (those not funded by oil companies and other corporations interested in unlimited growth) show that global warming is proceeding much faster than we imagined and unless we change our ways by the year 2050 most coastal cities will be under rising water and the weather changes of recent years will get much worse with many famines and floods and tornadoes in areas which never had these natural disasters.As a piece of synchronicity I decided the topic for today and then turned the TV on and the channel I was watching had the top ten animal adventures. The program suggested when going in nature looking for animals the following are of utmost importance:

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• Sunscreen -- you will be in the open air under the sun for a long time -- SPF 15 and above is recommended.

• Bug spray • Binoculars • Camera • Water -- drink plenty of water to make sure you do not become dehydrated.

Day 322:Boost your self-esteem by accepting your ignorance.

An ancient Greek philosopher said, "The more I knew, the more I knew how much I did not know." Thus the people who know very little are very sure of themselves and can be bigoted and biased. Whereas, those who are more knowledgeable are more humble and understand the limit of their own knowledge. Much, evil has been done throughout history by people who were sure of themselves. All the religions that I know of preach love. Compassion and charity. However, when we study the actual history of the religions of the world we notice enormous amount of evil done by organized religions in the name of good by people who had absolutely no doubt.Even today fundamentalists of all sorts try to ram their misguided belief systems down the throats of others. It does not matter that these fundamentalists each imagine that their system is the only correct one in the world and they have the absolute truth. I do not know what their leaders believe. Some of these people are supposed to be very educated. Kind of shows one that one can be highly educated and yet very dumb when it comes to religion, politics and other issues that people accept blindly. I want to move from religion to politics and again blind faith can lead to genocide. In the good old days when wars were caused by empire building typically the armies fought each other and left the civilians alone. They were needed to produce food and goods for the victorious armies. Now at times the armies did destroy cities and villages in order to scare the rest into surrender, but they did not do it for ideological reasons. However, in the last few centuries there have been many genocides for ideological reasons.The Nazis murdered more than twelve million Jews, Gipsies, Slavs, gays and others whom they considered as subhuman. The Stalinists murdered more than twenty million souls for political reasons. In the USA the Europeans murdered millions of natives in order to steal their lands. We actually are one of the first people to use biological warfare in a systematic way when we drove thousands of natives from their original homes to reservations and gave them syphilis contaminated blankets. Of course we also have the dishonor of slavery and racism which continues to this day.All the above evils was done by ignorant people who were not aware of their own ignorance. Today we are one of the few countries in the world which still has capital punishment, and again this caused by people who are so sure that they are right. Needing to be absolutely right is caused by a low self-esteem. When you can admit that you may be wrong, you do not do irreversible damage. You are more loving and forgiving to the other side. You do not need to demonize

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others. You can use the following techniques to increase your humility and accept your ignorance:

• Read and study all sides of issues. • • Τηινκ χριτιχαλλψ. • • Τηινκ φορ ψουρσελφ. • Make education a lifelong quest. • Read dictionaries for fun -- the more words you know the wiser you become

and thus will know how much you don't know. • Learn about other cultures. • Walk a mile in the other person's moccasins.

Coincidentally the above techniques like many other methods of boosting your self-esteem will increase your achievements and success and will increase your financial well being in the long run.

Day 323:Boost your self-esteem by thinking about your legacy.

On the radio today there was a discussion about people's legacies. There was two parts to the program. The first part talked about President Clinton's legacy and the second part was about a program for executives and upper management where they spent a week working on their long term goals and what they would like to leave behind, both when they moved on to another corporation and at the end of their lives. As soon as I heard about this program I started thinking how thinking about your legacy could boost your self-esteem.We have already suggested that you think about how you will feel about things you have done on your death bed in connection to setting your priorities. Here we want you to use your imagination and move forward in time beyond your death. Now ask yourself this type of questions:

• What did I leave behind of lasting value? • Who did I teach so my thoughts could continue affecting the world even

though my body is no longer around? • Did I achieve some the things that I set out to achieve? • Who did I make happy? • Whose self-esteem did I boost? • Did I love enough? • Did I show the people that I loved that I loved them? • Did I spend quality time with my loved ones? • Was I creative? • Did I fulfill most of my potentials? • Did I use my God given talents?

Add your own questions to these. When you look at your life from the perspective of after your death you get a different attitude toward what is important and what is not so important. Now remember today is the first day of the rest of your life and it is never too late to start leaving a better legacy....

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Day 324:Boost your self-esteem by accepting all things as gifts

from the Spirit**.Previously we have emphasized the usefulness of accepting whatever is as a prelude to change. Today we give you a method of making this easier.Let me start with my own life which gave me the idea for today's article. Recently a lot of people at work have been having low level colds. You know the type where you sneeze, cough, and your nose runs but you are well enough to go to work. So people are getting it from each other and passing it on. I, too, have it now. I have had it for four five days. It will last its own course and will eventually go away and hopefully I'll develop immunity against this particular strain of virus for a while.The above are the facts which I cannot deny. The question is, what can I do to minimize my suffering and maximize my fun while my bodies natural defenses beat the virus?The answer came to me in a flash: thank God for this event and trust that the Creator knows her* own mind and all is for the ultimate good. Once I came to this conclusion my suffering diminished. I lovingly accept this dis-ease as a gift from the Spirit and let go and let God. I know that a practical effect of this acceptance is that in fact I'll get over it faster than if I was miserable and complaining. Of course I am taking lots of vitamin C and drinking plenty of fluids and doing all the other things needed to fight the virus.As usual the above is a metaphor for tackling any problem. One caveat, as usual it takes time to see problems as opportunities and gifts from above. It is no good pushing it too fast before you are ready. It is too easy to demand that you always do the ideal thing before you've had time to accept the situation and this can make you feel guilty which only makes the situation worse.Thus when negative things happen, first become aware of the feelings. If the feelings are very negative you may wish to do some deep breathing and other relaxation exercises. At this stage some affirmations may help get you ready for the eventual state of accepting the event has happened and there is nothing you can do to undo it. Now you may move from neutral acceptance to the loving acceptance and start looking for all the opportunities in a situation that you once saw as only negative.This reminds me that the Chinese word for crisis is composed of two characters. One means danger and the other means opportunity. Thus any crisis, rapid change, is fraught with both danger and opportunity. By having a positive loving attitude to the situation you can bypass the danger and reach the opportunities.

Day 325:Boost your self-esteem by accepting your failings as gifts

from the Spirit**.Yesterday we suggested you boost your self-esteem by accepting all things as gifts from the Spirit. Today we continue in the same vain by suggesting that you accept your failings lovingly as gifts from the Spirit. Now this does not mean that you do

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not attempt to improve yourself. It is the other way round. In order to change you must first admit and accept that you have a problem. There is an NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) method to overcome negative habits that starts with the principle that all of your habits start from positive intentions. In the technique we separate the negative habit from the positive intention.Today's article is the spiritual counterpart and compliment to that technique. It may help to first relax when doing the following. Think of any failing you imagine you have. Next understand that all that is comes from and is part of the Spirit. So thank the Creator for giving you this characteristic. Ask the Spirit what is the positive intention behind this behavior. Ask and search your deepest inner self if there are any other positive intentions for this behavior. Once you have a list of possible positive intentions for the behavior ask God*** for help. Ask him* if there are more useful ways of fulfilling the positive intentions of the behavior. Now relax and let the answers come to you. Finally ask the Spirit to help you change the behavior to a new better ones with the same positive intentions.

Day 326:Boost your self-esteem by taking action today.

I once joined the procrastinators club. We were supposed to meet every Tuesday. Unfortunately no one ever turned up until the Friday and by then the room we used was occupied by another club....Yesterday is well past, and unchangeable. For all we know our memories may fail us. In fact when we do research on witness memory, we discover that our memories are biased from a point of view and are often in conflict with the objective truth even though we are absolutely sure that they are right. Tomorrow is only a fantasy. We don't even know if it will really come. We have our goals and plans and hopefully we'll get there. But in order to achieve our goals we need to take action in the here and now.In fact it is impossible to not to act at any time. Doing something constructive is taking action and doing nothing useful is another type of action. Each type of action starts a series of consequences, each in turn becoming the next action leading to the next consequence.In terms of self-esteem we have mentioned before about positive and negative cycles. When you take a positive action, you start a positive cycle. You achieve more through your action. Remember that when you act positively, you are automatically moving toward your goals. Either your action will move you toward your goal, or you will learn something from the consequence of your action -- this is a part of the definition of a positive action. Now that you have achieved more and have more success, your self-esteem will go up. Thus you'll be ready to take larger actions. The cycle goes on in this wonderful positive way....The negative cycle starts with not taking positive action or taking negative action. Negative actions are things like acting out of negative emotions (I know at times I have had road rage -- I typically avoid it by using unconditional love and other loving methods from this series -- but I know it is a problem that I have). Now this negative action will have negative consequences -- anger produces negative stress hormones which damage one's health, make one tired and lower the efficacy of the

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brain. So now we take fewer actions or act stupidly. Anyway the outcome of negative actions (including no action) is less achievement and less success. This lowers one's self-esteem and continues the negative cycle....Thus remembering that this moment is the only one in which you can actually take action and that each positive action leads to many positive consequences take action and boost your self-esteem.

Day 327:Boost your self-esteem by accepting minor health

problems.The truth is that even the most healthy of us have minor health problems every now and then. There are colds and such low level infections and minor gastrointestinal problems. The question is what do we do when we get sick? We can complain and bitch and moan and thus diminish the power of our immune system or we can use the power of acceptance in bringing about change.It is a paradox but true: acceptance brings about change and resistance brings about inertia and stasis. Once you lovingly accept your health problems you can take all the necessary precautions and at the same time enjoy life so you may improve your immune system and help overcome the dis-ease. We use this spelling of disease to emphasize that it is a lack of ease and the best way to become healthy again is to restore one's ease.We find the following useful adjuncts to whatever our physician recommends:

• Relaxation especially self-hypnosis. • Laughter. • Spending quality time with loved ones. • Breath deeply. • Rest and sleep. • Eat appropriate foods. Remember the old remedies such as mother's chicken

soup. • Read uplifting works. • Use positive affirmations about your health

Day 328:Boost your self-esteem by celebrating the season.

People have been celebrating this season, the Winter Solstice, for many years before the birth of Christianity as the birth of the Light which was another name for Love. A question arises which is, "Why should one celebrate the birth of the Light at this darkest part of the year?" The mystical answer is that we would notice the smallest amount of light at the darkest time. We have remnants of this in English when we say, "It's darkest just before the dawn." Many people have managed to turn their lives around after their dark night of the soul.Thus when things appear absolutely hopeless, search for the solution to your problems. The mystics believe that the Creator which is symbolized and represented by the Light/Love never gives anyone any problem without wrapping the solution

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deep within and all problems are in fact given to strengthen each one of us....No one knows when Jesus was born but in the forth century when Christianity became the established religion of the Roman empire, the Church Fathers decided that if you can't beat them, join them put the birthday of Jesus on the biggest festivity of the Roman calendar, "the Saturnalia," which was the birth of Sol Invictus, the Unconqured Sun. This was the Romanized version of the birth of the light. Whereas the original mystical understanding of the Light was an inner light of love by thus time the fundamentalists of the time had misunderstood the truth and turned the Light into its outer symbol the Sun. Later on many other winter solstice traditions were added to Christmas and even though many of these came from nature religions, they are by now established deep within our culture. Thus we have Christmas trees, reindeer, father Christmas and other originally pagan traditions associated with the birth of Jesus. However, all these traditions come from different forms of celebrating this season and even though we do not really know when Jesus was born, this is an excellent time to celebrate the birth of Jesus as he preached love and was a light to the world. At this time see if you can get in touch with the real spirit of Christmas in terms of love and good will to all including yourself.All of us at Life Focus Center wish you a wonderful loving Christmas

Day 329:Boost your self-esteem by extending the sentiments of

Christmas to all the year.This is the season of love, compassion and good will to all. Unfortunately the season is over too soon and we often go back to greed, and "winner-take-all" mentality. I have been fascinated by a piece of research about the territorial behavior of the human animals. The scientists studied the length of time it takes for someone to move out of a parking spot when there is no one waiting and when there is someone waiting. I know that in my own case as soon as I notice that there is someone waiting I get out of the parking spot as soon as I can and I typically buckle my seat-belt after I get out of the other person's way. Thus I was disappointedly surprised to discover that on average people stay in their parking spots sixty percent longer when there is someone waiting to get into the spot.The researchers did not interview the people to find out whether they were even consciously aware that there was someone waiting. My guess and hope is that the extra wait is caused by unconscious territoriality and people do not want to give up "their" space to a competitor. However, the good news is that we can consciously decide to be better than our sheer animal instincts would control us.As Rumi wrote, we are half-animal, half-angel. There is a struggle between these two parts of human beings. In this season of love and good will the angelic part come through more often than not. Please do not get me wrong, we need the animal part to survive. However, the question is which part is in charge? When our higher aspirations control us, we can dedicate all our energy to the good and our instincts become the engine for our salvation.However, when our baser parts are in charge, chaos rules our souls and we destroy

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ourselves and the world. Each time we cease loving, we do more damage to ourselves than we do to anyone else. When we are ruled by our negative feelings, we hurt ourselves more than we could ever hurt anyone else.I just want to make one observation about negative emotions. Emotions are not positive or negative in themselves but in what we direct them toward. After all if an emotion never had any positive uses we would have never evolved that emotion. I want to use the example of the negative emotion of anger. Often anger arises when we perceive injustice. When anger is used against unimportant injustices which, even if true, do not matter -- it is negative and hurts us. Road rage is an example of such negative anger. However, there are many real and important injustices and getting angry about such injustices so we do something about them will make the world a better place to live in and will improve our self-esteem.Thus when we feel angry about the poverty in the world or the way we are destroying our environment, our animal parts still are under the control of our angelic parts. The anger of Rosa Parks when she refused to get up for a white man is a historic event which set off forces which are still reverberating half a century later increasing freedom, love and brotherhood. Such constructive anger follows the acts of Jesus when he cleansed the temple from the money changers and others who were desecrating the temple.So please follow the Christ each day of the year by loving a little more and increasing your compassion for all...

Day 330:Boost your self-esteem by using you favorite aromas.

Smells have a wonderful way of evoking memories. You may smell a perfume and remember your mother as she kissed you when you were three years old. Or the smell of fresh cut grass may remind you of a home you lived in thirty years ago. The reason for this effect of smells appears to be the pathways of the olfactory nerves pass near memory centers and emotional centers. Often many smells are subliminal and we may like someone for no apparent reason just because the pheromones, small airborne hormones -- often of a sexual nature, they give off are compatible with us. Also the reverse may be true. Thus there is plenty of chemistry in "chemistry" between people.For today we suggest you do two things:

Choose your favorite perfume/cologne/after-shave. When doing this understand that the aromas in the perfume will react with your body's natural chemistry and odors. Thus when choosing a perfume, put a sample dab on your wrist and smell it not only immediately but wait a few hours and every now and again check to make sure it is compatible with you. When you buy yourself some perfume you are telling yourself that you are worth looking after and you'll boost your self-esteem.

Think about learning and using aroma therapy. Here you can use various natural flower and other essences to control your mood and health.

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Day 331:Boost your self-esteem by solving puzzles.

Today we suggest you exercise your mind as part of the body/mind/soul/spirit unity which is you When you exercise your brain by solving puzzles you have fun and improving your mind at the same time. Choose your favorite puzzles. You may do crosswords, mazes, math puzzles, other word games. When you solve puzzles and play mind expanding games you improve your problem solving capabilities and increase your intelligence.Here are a few games you can play:

• Pretend a word is an acronym. Choose a word, write the letters of the word individually and come up with words or sentences which relate to your original word and begins with the letters you wrote. Suppose your word is success you may have:

• Self-Esteem is the source of your success. • yUo are the source of your own success. • Can do attitude. • Change toward the better. • Energy directed toward your goals. • Simply does it. • Satisfaction with life as it is in order to move forward.

• Start with a short phrase or a long word and see how many unique words, three letters or more, you can come up with using the letters within the phrase. You may use each letter only once. Thus if your phrase is, "What a piece of work is man?" You have the following letters you may use: aaeeiiocfmnsww. A few words to start you might be: can, few, man, men, was, saw, see, name.

• Doodle. • Make puns.

Day 332:Boost your self-esteem by reviewing the past year.

As the year ends, it is time to go over the last year and see:• What lessons we learned in the year? This is one of the best ways we improve

our lives and boost our self-esteem. We have mentioned many times before that the way to success is to have a precise well written goal. Take an action toward your goal. Now notice if you are moving toward your goal. If you are, excellent, continue taking the same action. On the other hand if your action does not take you toward your destination you have learned something new and take another type of action. Thus every action you take toward your goals will lead to positive outcome either in learnings or getting you there.

• What happened last year for which you may be thankful? An attitude of gratitude has a quasi-miraculous effect of getting you more of the things/events that you are thankful for.

• Make a list of your successes in the last year.

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• Note the people you have forgiven -- also note the people you might have forgiven and you did not. Perhaps you may forgive these people next year.

• Times you were kind to others. • Times people were kind to you. • The things you did which improved your self-esteem.

Day 333:Boost your self-esteem by previewing the next year.

Yesterday we suggested you boost your self-esteem by reviewing the past year. Today we continue along the same vein by looking forward to the future. When previewing the next year do it in terms of:

• • Ψουρ γοαλσ . We have already mentioned the techniques of goal setting so rather than repeating ourselves refer you to previous articles on goal setting. However, for today we want you to dream on what would you do in the coming year if you could do anything you wanted and you knew you could not fail? Let your imagination go as wild as it will and come up with your wildest dreams. Have fun and enjoy yourself while dreaming. Once you have come up with the most outlandish ideas you may return back to earth. Choose the one single goal which stretches you and yet is doable. Now run this single goal through the • γοαλ σεττινγ µετηοδσ πρεϖιουσλψ µεντιονεδ.

• The type of relationships do you want to have in the next year. What can you do to improve your existing relationships? What can you do to develop new relationships?

• Unconditional love and charity. How can you become more loving in the coming year?

• Health. How can you improve your health in the coming year? • Education. Understanding that in today's fast changing world education is a

life long need, what can you do this year to improve your knowledge? Understand that by education we mean anything you learn and not just formal education. There are so many resources for learning new skills. Use these resources.

• Fun. Think of all the different things you can do to have more fun. • Soul. Think of how you can feed your soul by going to museums and

concerts, visiting beauties of nature, and such things. • Spirit. Finally plan what you may do to nourish your spirit. Meditation,

reading spiritual works, entering the silence, visualization and such things. • Think of anything else you may do in the coming year to improve your life

and boost your self-esteem.

Day 334:Boost your self-esteem by making your new-year's

resolutions.Earlier we suggested you boost your self-esteem by reviewing the past year.

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Yesterday we suggested you boost your self-esteem by previewing the next year. Today we continue along the same vein by developing your new-year's resolutions. Yesterday we suggested you go whole hog and dream big. In the case of new years resolution it is important to go slowly and make sure you do not set yourself up for failure.We have written before that there is no such thing as failure and you learn new things when things do not go the way you expected. The problem with new years resolution is that you do them once a year so it will be a long time before you may apply the lessons learned this year. Thus it is best to make sure you make the right resolutions first time.The problem with the way that most people do their resolutions is that they make such huge demands on themselves that by January second they break half their resolutions and by the end of January they have broken most if not all of their resolutions. The reasonable way of choosing your resolutions is to be very reasonable. That is challenge yourself slightly but go for things you know you can do.Use the rules for setting goals in writing your resolution:

Rule one of well written goals: Goals must be written in the positive (or write it the way you want it).

Rule two of well written goals: Write your goals down in the present tense. Rule three of well written goals: Keep it simple. Rule four of well written goals: Have your goals for yourself. Rule five of well written goals: Keep your goal realistic while you dream your

wildest dream. Rule six of well written goals: Your goals need have an achievement time. Rule seven of well written goals: Make your goals specific. Rule eight of well written goals: Think of all consequences of your goal from an

ecological point of view. Rule nine of well written goals: Have a way of measuring the achievement of

your goals Suppose you want to reduce your weight you this is the WRONG way of making a resolution: "I'll lose forty pounds." Problems with the above resolution:

The word lose is a negative word. I want you to think about what you do when you lose something? Chances are you look for it and make sure you get it back. That how come people lose so much weight and then find all that weight back and then some. It is called the yo-yo syndrome.

There is no way of knowing if you have reached the goal since it is not timed. Hence you may reduce your weight by one pound or even gain ten pounds and your unconscious mind still believes you are on your way toward reducing your weight by forty pounds.

The goal is too large and hence most people give up before they even start. Here is the same resolution in a reasonable achievable format,"I reduce my weight by twenty pounds by December 31 this coming year." This is a doable goal. It is written in present tense using positive words (reduce rather than lose). It is simple and you can know if you are achieving your goal. You'll need to reduce your weight by slightly less than half a pound a week. Research has shown that unless you are

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highly overweight this is a good sustained rate of weight reduction. In order to achieve this rate you'll need to reduce you calorie intake/expenditure balance by two hundred calories a day. In the Michelangelo Weight Management SystemTM we aim for reduction of thirty pounds a year through reduction of three hundred calories a day. We produce this three hundred calorie reduction by reducing your intake by one hundred calories a day. Exercising an extra hundred calories a day and boosting your basal metabolic rate by one hundred calories a day through the use of hypnosis.Make resolutions in all areas of your life: health; relationships; career; finances; education; care of the soul; spirituality. Make the resolutions easy to keep and start the new year with hope and love....

Day 335:Boost your self-esteem by spending some time with a

new person at a party.This is the season of parties. It is so easy to keep around the people you know when you go to a party. It is fun to renew acquaintances. However, when you meet new people you are taking a risk and whenever you take a risk the chances are that you'll boost your self-esteem. When meeting new people remember these points:

• When being introduced to new people repeat their names so that you remember them. If you could not hear the person's name ask her* to repeat her name.

• Listen, ask, bring the other person out. • Find common things to talk about. • Give honest compliments. • Send the person silent unconditional love -- this means accepting the person

with love in your heart. • Allow the person have easy way to get away. Mingle and meet many people.

Happy new year....

Day 336:Boost your self-esteem by welcoming the new with love.

We use the new year as a metaphor for all new ventures. When something is new it needs protection and nurturing to grow. The I Ching hexagram three is about this issue. It is called, "Difficulty in the beginning." The hexagram is about the beginning of growth. The I Ching recommends that at these times our affairs, being in their early stages, are still vulnerable like a sprouting seed forcing its way through the earth. At these times persistence and nourishment of the new will bring about ultimate success.Thus in any new undertaking, first plan, write your goals, then take that all important first step with love in your heart. Suround the new venture with unconditional love and nurture it so that it may grow....

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Day 337:Boost your self-esteem by expecting the unexpected.

I just climbed the hill near our home expecting to have a clear view of the Ocean many miles away. My reasoning was that since this is the Monday of a three day weekend at the end of a week of many people not working the smog level should be down. However, when I got to the top of the hill, I saw that the opposite was true. In fact, visibility was rather low. All the way going up the hill I was thinking of using the long visibility as a metaphor for today's piece. I'll write that article on another day.Finding the unexpected made me immediately decide on the topic for today. The way life works is that no matter what we do, no matter how much we may plan, we will face many unexpected events in our lives. This is a fact. Our choice is what we do and how we behave in the unexpected situation. When we look for the positive within the new and unexpected, we will find the positive and hence we'll achieve more and boost our self-esteem. On the other hand, if we dread the unexpected, we may end up in a negative self-fulfilling prophesy and find the negative within the event.The following methods help you cope best with the unexpected:

• Plan for the expected -- there is a paradox here that the more you plan for what is probable, the more likely you'll know exactly what to do when the unlikely happens.

• Have an optimistic attitude toward life. • Look for the silver lining in every cloud. • • Ρεµεµβερ ψουρ παστ συχχεσσεσ -- this shows you that you have coped

with numerous new situations in your life. • Look for the fun and the funny in situations. A good sense of humor always

allows us to deal with every situation from a position of balance and strength. • Exercise and increase your physical stamina. The unexpected may be

stressful and physical stamina will always help us get over stress. • Meditate or use self-hypnosis. Again these two will help you cope with stress

and hence will ready you for any situation.

Day 338:Boost your self-esteem by getting to know your own hot

buttons.At this time in the beginning of the year we have all sorts of good intentions. However, often as time passes we forget our good intentions and this year becomes the same as the last. One of the ways we lose our personal power is by allowing our hot buttons to be pushed. We have previously suggested that you understand that those who push your hot buttons are your best teachers. Today we want to prevent our hot buttons from being pushed by getting to know them and thus managing to avoid situations in which they would get pushed.In order to get to know your hot buttons, you need to become aware of how you feel and record your feelings. Normally we only think of triggers of negative feelings as

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hot buttons. We would like to add triggers to being manipulated also to potential hot buttons.The method is to keep a small notebook with you (some people use a small tape recorder for ease). Now as soon as you get a strong feeling where you are not in control, write down both the feeling and what set it off. Also write what you did about the feeling. As you keep this "hot button diary," you will soon discover those situations which set you off and where you lose control. Once you have found those situations and you know your hot buttons you may counter them in the following ways:

• • Συρρουνδινγ ποιντσ οφ χονφλιχτ ωιτη πεαχε . • Avoid those situations. • Interrupt your habitual reaction -- this is an • ΝΛΠ (Νευρο−Λινγυιστιχ

Προγραµµινγ) method. First you notice the exact sequence of events which lead to your hot button being pushed. Now as soon as you notice the first step starting, you consciously will interrupt the typical sequence and do something totally different. I will give you an example from my own life. I do not like cars which are basically going slower than me overtaking me from the right and then pulling in front of me. This has at times made me do foolish things and get out of control. Many, many years ago when I was young and foolish, I have done many foolish things under these conditions. When I get in the same situation nowadays, I quickly bless the person and this interrupts my habitual reaction of getting angry and reacting.

• Use the power of unconditional love. In fact in the previous example I use this power to interrupt my old sequence of reactions.

• Use systematic desensitization to control the hot button. Here you use relaxation and self-hypnosis to calm your mind. Now you can visualize yourself in the situation where in you would lose control. However, in your visualization you are totally in control and take the assertive action.

Day 339:Boost your self-esteem by keeping an anger diary.

Yesterday we suggested you boost your self-esteem by getting to know your own hot buttons. The way we suggested you do this was by keeping a diary in which you record times when you are out of control and you hot buttons are pushed. Today's piece is a development of yesterday's. Here you record times when you become angry. As before you record what started you on the path to anger and what was the final outcome. You may use all the methods mentioned yesterday to control your anger.Today I want to add a most important aspect of controlling anger or any other negative feeling. The first step is to accept whatever feelings you have. You need to own your feelings and take full responsibility for your feelings. The next step is to understand that the feeling once had a positive intention. Now relax your body and mind and imagine the negative feeling in the shape of a person, animal or thing. Once you have visualized your feeling, make the vision more vivid by giving it weight, form, and voice. Now talk to the form of the feeling. Ask it what is its original positive intention. When you get an intention, ask it what is a higher (more

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abstract) more positive intention. Continue getting more abstract intentions of the feeling. Here is an example for the feeling anger:

Anger, what is your positive intention? -- To protect you from danger. Why do you want to protect me from danger? -- In order to let you grow. Why do want me to grow? -- I want you to have peace. Why should I have peace? -- So you can give peace to others.

Notice that often the ultimate positive intention of a negative feeling is opposite the actual outcome of being under the control of that feeling. Once you understand the ultimate positive intention, ask your feeling on how you may fulfill this higher intention in a more positive manner. Allow yourself to come up with as many new ways as possible. Now give yourself the suggestion that you may change your actions so you may fulfill the feelings positive higher intention in a positive manner.

Day 340:Boost your self-esteem by persisting even when you do

not feel like it.So often when we are reaching the end of a project we slow down and feel like giving up. Long distance runners know this phenomenon as "hitting the wall." They also know the solution to "hitting the wall" which is just to continue until they get a second wind. There are various reasons for the above phenomenon. One of the most important reason is the grief of succeeding and having to move on. Thus many Ph.D. candidates have great difficulty in completing their theses even though they have completed everything else and they only need to cross the "T"s and dot the "I"s. Another reason is that by completing a task one puts oneself on the line and may be criticized.Recently this problem has hit us with this series. Knowing that there are only a few days left for the original 365 days to be over, we have tended to drag our feet (especially during the past holidays) and writing these articles became difficult. I was trying to understand our reluctance to write the articles and came up with the above reason. As usual I turn my own problems to topics for the series. I also want to let you know that even though the title is 365 ways to boost your self esteem, we will continue with more articles when the first 365 are done. We will also go back over the current articles and edit and improve them.About three months ago our other server with the 365 ways to improve your relationship had a major problem which took a long time to solve. By the time it was solved I did not have enough time or new ideas to write two articles a day. Hopefully soon I'll start those articles again. Please help us by emailing us your ideas for boosting one's self-esteem and/or improving relationships. We accept other articles on psychological topics. You can send your ideas anonymously if you prefer (we will know you from your email but we will not publish your name) or you may want the fame and glory of seeing your byline.Going back to today's topic, the road to success is full of blocks and the way to get over these blocks is to continue no matter what. As Edison said, "Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration." Fight those two biggest of enemies of success and self-esteem procrastination and perfectionism. Once you

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have done something, you can later improve it. However, if you want to do something just right the first time you are likely not to do it at all. We have used this principle in writing these articles. We have done the best possible given the little spare time we have, but we will improve them later.As far as writing is concerned, it is so much easier to improve something once the first draft has been written. The same is true of my other profession software engineering. Once the skeleton of the program has been written and the program kind of works, one may make it run faster, better and improve the user-interface. However, novice software engineers often spend all their time creating wonderful user interfaces to programs which do nothing or are full of bugs. Think about it some of the largest software monopolies do that. Thus we keep having new versions of that operating system and they have new features, but none of them work. Here we have the opposite and most negative side of the completion problem which is solved by calling it complete. Oh well if you have a monopoly you can do anything....

Day 341:Boost your self-esteem by living in the light.

In the ancient times the light symbolized goodness and unconditional love. Today we know that imagining a bright protecting light surrounding one may help boost the immune system. We also know that many people in Northern (or Southern) regions of the world suffer from SAD, seasonal affective disorder, during the dark winter times of the year. This is caused by lack of full spectrum light, the type in sunlight. By use of special full spectrum lights people counter SAD.Thus the need for the light is both physical and symbolic. The following methods will allow you to get enough light:

• Spend a minute facing the sun with your eyelids closed. This is very good for the retina and improves your eyesight. You can improve the positive effects on the eyes by also palming, which is keeping your eyelids closed and covering both eyes with your palms in a way that no light gets in. These two methods complement each other and allow your retinas to clear any electrochemical imbalances.

• Find out if you suffer from SAD and use full spectrum light during the dark of winter.

• If you use sun glasses make sure that they remove the suns ultraviolet rays. These are the rays that can damage your eyes. Cheap sunglasses may cut visible light and thus the diaphragm of your eyes will open, but if they do not cut the UV rays to the same extent, in fact your retinas will receive more damaging rays than if you weren't wearing any glasses at all.

• When going to sleep imagine yourself surrounded by a bright healing light. • Pink light symbolizes unconditional love. Use pink light meditation to •

συρρουνδ ποιντσ οφ χονφλιχτ . We have also given you two other pink light meditation techniques, "• Αλιγνινγ Ψουρσελφ Ωιτη Τηε Υνιϖερσε " and "• Αλιγνινγ Ψουρσελφ Ωιτη Ψουρ Ανχεστορσ ."

• Gold light signifies protection. When I leave my car in a dangerous place, I use my imagination to surround my car with gold light of protection. I do

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understand that objectively this may not actually protect my car. However, it does give me a peace of mind. Please understand that the most important part of protection is being wise. Thus I always turn my alarm on, make sure the doors are locked. I use a steering wheel lock as well as parking the car in a well lit spot whenever possible. Thus do all to be careful to protect yourself and your property and then use the golden light of protection to get extra psychological protection.

Day 342:Boost your self-esteem by accepting the good with

humility.Recently one of my (JH) clients had a major breakthrough. I was so extremely glad for her*. As a clinical hypnotherapist I always believe that the client does all the job of healing herself and I am only the tour guide. However, I was so excited for my client that when the session ended I thought, "God, I am good!" This thought resonated in my mind for a few seconds and then I came to myself. The words changed to, "God is good." I noticed that the correct attitude to inspiration is to accept it as in-Spirit-ation. That is whenever we are very creative accept it as the fact that we have managed to get in touch with the Spirit, the Creator.Someone may ask why humility could be good for self-esteem? The answer is twofold:

When one has hubris and thinks, "What a good boy am I," one immediately sets oneself up for failure.

When one accepts inspiration as getting in touch with the Divine, one admits to oneself that this is possible and hence allows more inspiration.

Finally I want to add that this is part and parcel of accepting whatever is which is a linchpin of this series. We have previously written about accepting the negative, here we have the other side of the coin. By accepting the bad we allow change of the current situation and improvement of the status quo. By accepting the good, we allow more good.

Day 343:Boost your self-esteem by accepting your inner

creativity.Yesterday I wrote about inspiration and how one should accept the good with humility. The ancient Greeks believed that each person had a Genius within. To a certain extent this Genius was an independent autonomous part of the person. Other traditions talk of similar but slightly different autonomous parts of the total Self. Thus we have:

• The kingdom of God within. • The higher self. • The higher mind. • Guardian angels. • The inner Christ.

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• The collective unconscious. This comes from C.G. Jung. • Love, heart, being. These three are terms that the Iranian mystical poet,

Rumi, uses for the Creative part of humanity. The interesting thing about all these creative parts is that even though the individual has access to them, they themselves are universal and available to all humanity. In the Genesis is written:The Elohim, the Gods, created humanity in their own image. They created him* man and woman. The lesson from this is twofold:

Each person is in fact composed of male and female components. C.G. Jung wrote extensively about the Anima, the female component of the male psyche, and the Animus, the male component of the female psyche. I will write an article about this and its effect on self-esteem another time. For today suffice it be known that in order to increase one's creativity one need be in touch with the counter-sexual part of one's psyche, the Anima and Animus.

If we are created in the image of the Creator, we are each Spirit, like the Creator, capable of being creative. Unfortunately the literalists not understanding the original meaning of the image of the Creator, create a God in our material image as an old man, sitting physically on a throne in heaven. Thus instead of freeing humanity as a part of the creative Divine Spirit, they limit the creator into a Shahanshah, "King of Kings," who needs soldiers and armies to do his bidding.

The following methods may be used to bring out your inner creativity:• • Σλεεπ ον ιτ. • • Ασκ ψουρ υνχονσχιουσ µινδ γοοδ θυεστιονσ. • Take a risk. As Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can, or you think

you can't, you are right." • Relax. When you relax your body you allow the creative elements of your

mind to communicate with your conscious mind. We have previously given you a few guided meditation scripts. The "• Σαφε Σπαχε Μεδιτατιον " is an excellent way of increasing your creativity.

• Laugh and have fun. Some people imagine that creativity has to be a serious business. In fact whereas it is possible to be creative while being serious, a light hearted fun attitude toward the task at hand will increase the creativity.

• Exercise and keep fit. The brain only burns glucose in an aerobic metabolic pathway. Thus you need plenty of oxygen reaching your brain in order for your brain to work at its optimum.

• Eat well. Many foods are "brain foods" and will increase your creativity. Basically a good diet of plenty of fruits, vegetables, fish, legume, cereals are good for the brain. Too much fat, red meat, refined foods, and any chemical contaminants such as pesticides, added hormones, and preservatives are bad for your health and your brain. Note that most pesticides are derived from nerve agents.

• Some herbs may help the brain. Please contact your own physician before taking any herbal supplements. I take Ginkgo Biloba which is supposed to increase the blood flow to the blood. Soy Isoflavones may help counteract the effects of environmentally damaging chemicals.

• The most important way of boosting your creativity is by understanding that

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you are creative.

Day 344:Boost your self-esteem by using your inner resources.

Today was one of those rare days in Southern California when it rains. When I used to live in England, we would be used to the rain and hence knew how to cope with it, but did not like it too much. Here it's the opposite. Rain is such a wonderful relief. It brings down some of the smog and altogether is a wonderful change. However, our roads are not built for the rain and get very oily and slick and our drivers are pretty clueless in how to drive well in the rain. I just added the above to show that our attitude to what goes on is much more important than the objective facts.The thing that set off today's piece is that I always carry a small umbrella in the trunk of my car. As usual, this morning, I parked my car as far away from the door as possible. It is as I have written before an extra little exercise and also this parking spot is angled such that other cars are unlikely to scratch mine when their door opens. I knew it was going to rain but forgot my umbrella in the car. So later on it started to rain quite hard and I thought about my situation and how it is a wonderful metaphor for the way we use our inner resources.Brain scientist believe that we use somewhere between one to ten percent of our brain's capacity. There is excellent reason why there is so much redundancy in the brain. Think of a stupid computer. When it is wrong, it is really wrong. Suddenly you owe the electricity company billions of dollars. Come to think of it in California our bills have more than doubled since last year. Perhaps we can blame the computers. However, the biological brain has so much redundancy and plasticity that major parts of it can be damaged and yet it can work perfectly well.Now imagine you are a typical person who is using three percent of your brain power. If through better education, belief in yourself, and some of the techniques mentioned in this series you can use four percent of your brain's capacity, you will be in fact thirty three percent better off than you were before. I believe that with a little effort, such improvement is easily possible. Spend a few minutes a day less in watching the TV (or surfing the web) and give the time to yourself and observe how quickly you'll improve.We have mentioned the following methods to improve the way you use your brain:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ αχχεπτινγ ψουρ ιννερ χρεατιϖιτψ. • • Λεαρν τεν νεω ωορδσ ανδ βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ τακινγ ονε σµαλλ στεπ ατ α τιµε. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ ασκινγ εξχελλεντ θυεστιονσ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ χοπινγ ωιτη χηανγε. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ εδυχατινγ ψουρσελφ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ βεινγ τηε βεστ ψου. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ λεττινγ γο οφ ωηατ ψου τηινκ ψου κνοω. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ αχχεπτινγ α στατε οφ χονφυσιον • . • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ βεινγ οπτιµιστιχ.

I could go on with many of the other articles. Go through them yourself if you have not. The point is that as you boost your self-esteem you'll increase the amount of

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your brain that you use and as you use a higher proportion of your brain power you'll boost your self-esteem. We always want to move away from vicious cycles into such positive cycles where what you do brings you more success and this in turn makes what you do more effective....

Day 345:Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes

observing your body feelings.Today we are starting a series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a certain object. This act of slowing down the mind and concentrating on a single object for a time is a form of meditation in itself. We will start with observing your body feelings and senses. Before you start have your success journal handy. Altogether it is a advisable to record any of these exercises you do in your success journal.No relax your body and mind by closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Now do a body scan. That is start at your toes and the bottom of your feet and concentrate on that region of the body. Now imagine you are throwing the center of your consciousness into the region you are scanning. Observe how this part of your body feels. Perhaps you may verbalize the feeling. Once when I was doing this exercise my hands started a conversation. My left hand was jealous of my right hand. Just use your imagination and allow whatever, feelings, words, or emotions arise. Now slowly move the center of your consciousness up.Thus you start with your toes and feet. Then come in order: ankles; shins; knees; thighs; pelvic region; back bone; internal organs -- here you may concentrate on the individual organs such as the heart, lungs, liver, kidneys and other internal organs; shoulders; arms going down to elbows, wrist, hands to the tip of the fingers; neck; scalp including hair; parts of the face. You can add any other part that I missed. Include any part which has pain or ailment. Definitely talk to these parts. I suffer from lower back pain and I always make sure to ask my lower back how it feels and what it would like me to do for it.When you have scanned all your body, open your eyes and immediately record your impressions in your success journal. After you have done this exercise a few times you'll discover the parts of your body you need to concentrate on and can scan your body very rapidly. This body scanning not only helps your mind by teaching you concentration, it can also be very good for your health by making you aware of potential problems with your body very early on. Listen to your body and if a part complains think about seeing your physician about it.

Day 346:Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes

observing a single work of art.Yesterday we started this series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a single object with: Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes observing your body feelings.Today we continue by concentrating on a work of art. Go to your local museum or

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get your favorite art book out. Now find something you like. If you go to a museum choose a less popular work so you can spend some time examining it without bothering the other patrons. This reminds me of visiting the Louvre. In the da Vinci room. There are a hundred people pushing and hustling each other. They jump up from the distance. They have to since the painting in question is kept behind glass and the people can only approach it up to the rope which surrounds it. You've guessed it. All these people were doing their best to get a glimpse of the Mona Lisa. I noticed that there were about ten other da Vinci master pieces with no one near. I went and looked at each carefully taking my time. Now I'm not an art expert but in my opinion these were even better than famous work.So if you do go to the Louvre to do this exercise choose another painting. No examine the work of art from near, far, this angle, that angle. Do whatever pleases you. You'll discover so much more as you keep observing the work of art. My own recommendation is to read nothing about the work of art in the beginning. First allow it to interact with your soul. After a few minutes read the information about the piece.I personally prefer small museums where one can give each piece the time it deserves. Again as in yesterday's piece communicate with the piece. Use your imagination to get the piece to speak to you. You can extend this exercise by spending quite a lot of time with the same piece next time you are in the same museum.Note that in the above I'm writing about the visual arts. These include, paintings, sculptures, photographs, buildings and so on. If you cannot find any of these where you live, spend 15 minutes looking at the same scenery in nature.

Day 347:Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes

observing yourself in a mirror.Earlier we started this series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a single object. So far we have had: Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes observing your body feelings.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing a single work of art.Today we continue with a very powerful meditation designed to boost your self-esteem. As before have your success journal handy. Altogether it is a advisable to record any of these exercises you do in your success journal.It is best to practice this meditation in a darkish room. You want to be able to see yourself but not so brightly that your mind cannot wonder. During this meditation at times your mind may project images unto your face. You may see a distant relative or ancestor in your image. You may see images of animals. Your may see nothing special. Turn the radio, TV, telephone and any other means of disturbing you off. Give yourself a fifteen minute slot of time when you will not be disturbed. Make sure the room is not too hot or cold. Wear comfortable clothes. Now relax your mind and body and sit in a comfortable position opposite a mirror and observe yourself for a full fifteen minutes. Sit still and move as little as possible.

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If you itch, gently scratch the area and go back to being still. If you feel like closing your eyes, blink and open your eyes again. You may feel uncomfortable and self conscience at times but just continue looking at your image and allow all feelings and thoughts to come without getting stuck with any. Like other meditation practices it is important that when a thought enters your mind you just observe it and then let it go. If negative feelings or thoughts arise, observe them and surround yourself with compassion and unconditional love. If arrogant feelings or thoughts arise, surround yourself with loving humility. A wise priest friend once defined humility as the truth. Thus one accepts the true good points about oneself, but understands that all we have, all our talents, are gifts from the Creator.When you are done, immediately record your impressions in your success journal. Write as fast as you can and as much as you can. Write down all your impressions and feelings.

Day 348:Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes

looking at a candle.Earlier we started this series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a single object. So far we have had: Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes observing your body feelings.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing a single work of art.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing yourself in a mirror.Today we continue with a very powerful meditation designed to boost your self-esteem. As before have your success journal handy. Altogether it is a advisable to record any of these exercises you do in your success journal.It is best to practice this meditation in a dark room using the light of the single candle you'll use for the meditation. Again find a quite space and time when you'll not be disturbed for 15 minutes. Make sure you are wearing comfortable clothes and are not too hot or cold. Now sit opposite a lit candle. Ideally the flame should be at or near your eye level. Now just stare at the candle flame for the 15 minutes.Again like other meditations allow whatever happens happen. Thus if you get a certain feeling accept it and observe it. When you have a thought again note and observe. One type of negative thought that I have at times whenever I meditate are:

• "This is boring." • "Why am doing this?" • "My back hurts." • "This is dumb." • "Nothing is happening." • "Am I meditating.?"

The trick in this or any other meditation is to note the thoughts and continue. Just giving yourself this 15 minutes will show you that you care about yourself and you are worth giving some time and will boost your self-esteem. If you keep repeating

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any of the meditation techniques mentioned in this series you'll have great spiritual insights as well. An important thing is that by trying different meditation techniques you'll find the most suitable for you.

Day 349:Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes

meditating on a single word.Earlier we started this series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a single object. So far we have had: Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes observing your body feelings.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing a single work of art.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing yourself in a mirror.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes looking at a candle.Today we continue with another very powerful meditation designed to boost your self-esteem. As before have your success journal handy. Altogether it is a advisable to record any of these exercises you do in your success journal.In this meditation you think about a single word. To begin with choose relatively neutral concrete words like cow, cat, dog, book, and computer. Later on you may go to words which have strong emotional values like mother, father, brother, and sister. Then you can work on abstract words such as family, country, knowledge, and truth. Finally you may choose words such as God, spirituality, love, and death. You can do this meditation while sitting in a comfortable chair or lying down. Make sure you are wearing comfortable clothes and are not too hot or cold. Now think of you single word that you wish to meditate on. Next think of another word or concept which relates with your word in question. Now go back to your original word and think about it again. Once more go to another association. At time your mind will wander and you will go to further associations. When you notice you are wandering too far from your original word turn you mind back to the word again.Again like other meditations allow whatever happens happen. I am going to give you an example of this technique. Imagine the chosen word is cow:

• Cow -- Milk. Drink Milk. • Cow -- Beef. • Cow -- Bull. Mate. • Cow -- Calf. • Cow -- Pasture. • Cow -- Grass. • Cow -- Leather. • Cow -- Rain. Why am I thinking of rain? What's rain got to with the cow.

Obviously it must have something.... • Cow -- Sacred.... Hindu. • Cow -- Agriculture. • Cow -- Trojan horse.... Woa! Where did that come from? • Cow -- Dung smells....

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The trick in this or any other meditation is to note the thoughts and continue. Just giving yourself this 15 minutes will show you that you care about yourself and you are worth giving some time and will boost your self-esteem. If you keep repeating any of the meditation techniques mentioned in this series you'll have great spiritual insights as well. An important thing is that by trying different meditation techniques you'll find the most suitable for you.

Day 350:Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes

praying.Earlier we started this series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a single object. So far we have had: Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes observing your body feelings.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing a single work of art.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing yourself in a mirror.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes looking at a candle.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes meditating on a single word.In the United States an extremely high proportion of the people believe in a Personal Deity. In fact more than 90% of all Americans believe in some God or other. However, in most advanced industrial nations, a large proportion of the people do not believe in any form of deity. In fact when we add all the atheists, agnostics, polytheists, pantheists and others who do not believe in a single personal God, we may discover that they are in the majority of the world population.In today's piece I want to suggest that prayer works whether you believe in some form of Personal Deity, or you believe in nothing at all. If you believe in a God, fair enough pray to him/her/it. You know what you are doing. The point in today's piece is to spend more than 15 minutes in a prayer session.If you do not believe, you may use prayer to contact the higher regions of your unconscious mind. Some people may wish to pray to a "pagan" god as a symbol of the power she* represents. Thus you may pray to Aphrodite, the goddess of love, for solutions to your love problems. In fact many supposed monotheists do the same as polytheists when they pray to saints, angels and others for intercession. Since this article is about the psychological effects of grayer and I do not know of any scientific research about prayers of intercession versus direct prayer to the deity, I can only recommend that you do whatever agrees with your belief system. Thus chances are that prayers of intercession will work well for Catholic, Christians and Shiite Moslems but may not work so well for most Protestant Christians and Sunni Moslems.So in this prayer session do whatever your particular belief system allows. My own recommendations are:

• Be thankful for the gifts that you have received. • Say your own prayers in your own words. You may mix these with formal

prayers from your religious background, but do spend some time just

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conversing with the object of your prayer. • If you pray for something, it is much better to pray for someone else. You

could exchange this with someone else. • Relax -- remember the words from the Bible, "Be still and know that I am

God." • If you believe, know that you are a child of God. If you do not believe,

understand that nature is abundant and there is much more to you than you are aware.

Day 351:Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes

talking to your guardian angel.Earlier we started this series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a single object. So far we have had: Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes observing your body feelings.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing a single work of art.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing yourself in a mirror.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes looking at a candle.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes meditating on a single word.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes praying.If you believe in guardian angels, wonderful. If you do not, even better. As usual we use most terms more metaphorically speaking than literally. Thus if you do not believe in guardian angels think of them as your higher self, the Collective Unconscious, your Genius, or any other part of you that you do not talk to on a daily basis.As before have your success journal handy. Altogether it is a advisable to record any of these exercises you do in your success journal. You may wish to write down a single topic for today's communication. Once you know what you want to talk about, relax. If you do not remember how to relax you can use this technique. Once you are in your safe space, you can ask your guardian angel to come and talk to you. Use the power of your imagination to come up with an answer. At first you may be doing both parts of the conversation, but if you continue asking questions and getting answers, soon your answers will be independent of your ego. It helps to see your angel as vividly as possible. Some people see the classical Christian angels as in medieval painting. Others see more abstract objects. I see floating balls of light. I feel total unconditional love from these entities.One way of knowing that the being** you are communicating with is your guardian angel and not some negative entity is that guardian angels are totally loving and positive. Suppose you ask a question about how to deal with someone you hate, if you get a hateful answer, you are not communicating with your angel, but are communicating with some kind of a demon***. However, if the entity is full of love for even the person that your ego hates, know that you are communicating with the real thing....

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Like anything else all of these 15 minute exercises need practice. As you practice you can do them easier and better. After a few practice sessions you should be able to communicate with you guardian angel without going into a state of deep hypnosis. Know that your angel is there with you and communicates with you often when you are in danger. The question is do you listen?I want to write about a couple of times when my guardian angel communicated with me while I was driving. The first even happened a long time ago, when I was young and foolish. I was talking to a young lady and was looking at her while driving. Suddenly I jammed my foot on the breaks. I looked forward and noticed that if I had not braked, I would have ran into the back of a slow moving vehicle at a great speed. Now from one angle the objective reality is that I must have seen the truck ahead in my peripheral vision. That is not the point. The point is that until I slowed down, I was not consciously aware of the danger ahead.Another time recently, I was driving over the speed limit and I said to myself, "Better slow down, you might get a ticket." Unfortunately I did not listen to my inner voice, and sure enough a minute later was stopped and given a ticket. The interesting thing is that I was clocked speeding by an airplane. Thus in this case my intuition did not have direct physical way of knowing what was going on. I could go on with the hundreds of times when I have listened to that inner voice and either gained something or avoided dangers. There have also been numerous occasions when I did not listen to the message of my intuition and regretted it. No doubt if you examine your own life you will discover many similar occasions. By plainly talking to you guardian angel you will become more able to differentiate between that voice and normal chatter which goes on in our heads....

Day 352:Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes

doing something you resist.Earlier we started this series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a single object. So far we have had: Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes observing your body feelings.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing a single work of art.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing yourself in a mirror.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes looking at a candle.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes meditating on a single word.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes praying.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes talking to your guardian angel.Typically, I give the theory first and then the method. Today, I'm going to do the reverse for a change. Chose something that you do not like to do and decide to do it 15 minutes a night for the next week. I hate cleaning the house. Thus I plan to spend 15 minutes a day cleaning my office for the next week. That's all it takes. Once you have decided, follow through by doing it.

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Now for the theory: When you decide to do something that you do not enjoy and you do it, you are exercising your will power. Another word for will power is intention. You intend to do something and you do it no matter what. When you show yourself that you can intend something and it will happen, your mind will be used to having all it's intentions coming true.I cannot emphasize enough how powerful this technique is. After the first week you can either continue with the same intention or go to a more difficult intention. As usual the most successful people are those who do not understand the word failure but understand that there is only results. These successful people are flexible and will change their immediate, short term goals, so that they are always challenging but not so difficult that it is impossible to do.

Day 353:Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes

remembering a past success.Earlier we started this series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a single object. So far we have had: Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes observing your body feelings.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing a single work of art.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing yourself in a mirror.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes looking at a candle.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes meditating on a single word.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes praying.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes talking to your guardian angel.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes doing something you resist.Today we continue with a very powerful meditation designed to boost your self-esteem. As before have your success journal handy. Altogether it is a advisable to record any of these exercises you do in your success journal.For today's piece you may go to the list of your successes. Choose a success that you are rather proud of. Now relax using your favorite relaxation technique. If you do not remember how to relax you can use this technique. Once you are in your safe space, start remembering the peak of your success. By the peak I mean the moment you were the happiest. Thus suppose you are remembering getting an "A," the peak may be the moment your paper was handed back to you and you noticed that wonderful "A." Visualize the peak of the event as vividly as possible. Thus use all sensory modalities. That is see the event in your mind's eye. Hear, what you heard. Remember how you felt. If there were any internal dialog associated with the event, think those thoughts.Once you have captured the peak of the event, go backward in time to notice all the events which were needed to lead to your success. Again remember the events as vividly as possible using all your senses. Now move forward in time going through the peak of the experience one more time and move to the future and notice how this

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success had wonderful positive consequences.Finally go back to the peak of the event and remember your success one more time. Continue this going back and forth in time with a single success until the fifteen minutes are up. Now write about how you felt in you success journal.

Day 354:Boost your self-esteem by choosing to live.

We just completed a series on spending 15 minutes concentrating on a single object. If you have missed any you may wish to study these powerful meditations: Boost your self-esteem by spending a silent 15 minutes observing your body feelings.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing a single work of art.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes observing yourself in a mirror.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes looking at a candle.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes meditating on a single word.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes praying.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes talking to your guardian angel.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes doing something you resist.Boost your self-esteem by spending at least 15 minutes remembering a past success.Tony Robbins tells a story about two people. One of these people was successful and the other was not. The person who was not successful earned $2,000,000.00 a year, had a wonderful wife and two children, was the president of a successful company and extremely fit. The successful person was a more normal person like you or I. So what made the first person unsuccessful and the second successful? It was the rules that the two people used to decide on what is success for them. The first person had to earn four million and since the poor guy only earned two he was not doing well in the financial area. Again he had such harsh rules for himself that in spite of having a life that most others might envy, he felt as though he was a failure. Now the other person had the rule that every day above the ground was a successful day.I mention the above story to show the importance of the rules we use to examine our lives and how we may decide to be happy or sad. It is our own attitude toward life which ultimately will decide how happy we are. Now at last I can explain what I mean by choosing to live. It means loving life. Appreciating it. Showing life that you appreciate it. Do these and life will return the complement and will love you back:

• Greet each morning with "joi du vivre." When you wake up and first see yourself in the mirror say, "To life!"

• Smile. • Greet people you meet especially strangers. • Greet the sun, the moon, the stars and other parts of nature. • Laugh at yourself. • Be patient with the universe -- you'll get there if you believe you'll get there.... • Understand that in order to love your neighbor as yourself you first need to

love yourself.

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• Understanding that no matter who you are, you have done plenty of silly things in the past and you'll do plenty of silly things in the future, take life less seriously and do a few silly things on purpose just for fun.

• Hug someone you love. If you cannot do this physically do it by phone or in your imagination.

• Just before you go to sleep say to yourself, "To life!"

Day 355:Boost your self-esteem by healing conflicts with people.

Part I -- Write to their angels.Today we start a new series on healing conflicts. Previously we have written the following articles about this topic:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ συρρουνδινγ ποιντσ οφ χονφλιχτ ωιτη πεαχε.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ υνδερστανδινγ τηατ τηοσε ωηο πυση ψουρ ηοτ βυττονσ αρε ψουρ βεστ τεαχηερσ

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ ωριτινγ α λεττερ οφ αππρεχιατιον το α δεαδ περσον.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ δεστροψινγ ψουρ ενεµιεσ . In this article we suggest you destroy your enemies by making them your friends.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ λεαρνινγ φροµ τηε τεαχηινγσ οφ Χατηερινε Πονδερ.

Today's article is about a method suggested by Catherine Ponder of writing to a person's angel in order to dissolve conflicts between you. Before telling you about this method you may wish to read this article about communicating with your own angel.Catherine Ponder suggests that everyone has an "angel" or higher self and that an excellent way of dissolving financial conflicts is by secretly writing to the other person's angel. She gives the following form:"To the angel of <person's name**>, I bless you and give thanks that you are bringing this matter to a perfect conclusion, and that all concerned are satisfied and blessed by it." She suggests that you write this statement fifteen times, since this is the number that ancient mystics believed could dissolve hard conditions.I have modified this method for those who have practiced communicating with their own guardian angels. As usual first relax. Get in touch with your own angel. Now use this type of form:"Dear guardian angel, I thank you for all the times you have protected me and have given me unconditional love. Please bless me and bless <person's name**> and send her* total unconditional love. Now please contact her guardian angel, and thank it for protecting her and giving her unconditional love. Between the two of you please dissolve all conflict between the two of us and bring this matter to a perfect conclusion for the good of all concerned. I thank the two of you and cut all binds of conflict between us." Now use your imagination to surround the four of you, the two of you and the two angels, with pink light of unconditional love. Finally get a piece of paper and write

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the above type of letter in your own words. Make the letter as long as you want. Give all the details of the causes of the conflict. Place the letter in the Bible, Torah, Koran, Gita or whatever book has spiritual significance to you. Keep the letter in your holy book for a few days after which time tear the letter to small pieces or burn it. Now let go of all thoughts about this conflict and let go and let God.

Day 356:Boost your self-esteem by healing conflicts with people.

Part II -- Send them love.Today we start a continue a new series on healing conflicts. Previously we have written the following articles about this topic:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ συρρουνδινγ ποιντσ οφ χονφλιχτ ωιτη πεαχε.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ υνδερστανδινγ τηατ τηοσε ωηο πυση ψουρ ηοτ βυττονσ αρε ψουρ βεστ τεαχηερσ

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ ωριτινγ α λεττερ οφ αππρεχιατιον το α δεαδ περσον.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ δεστροψινγ ψουρ ενεµιεσ . In this article we suggest you destroy your enemies by making them your friends.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ λεαρνινγ φροµ τηε τεαχηινγσ οφ Χατηερινε Πονδερ.

• In part I of the current series we suggested: • Ωριτε το τηειρ ανγελσ. In today's article we suggest you first hypnotize yourself, and then while you are fully relaxed, you send love to the person with whom you have conflict. This method works best when you are in conflict with a person you love but do have a conflict with at this time. If you are well practiced in sending unconditional love to everyone, you can use this method with everyone.We have previously given you both a slow sure self-hypnosis method and some rapid induction techniques. If you have already learned to hypnotized yourself, please use some of the rapid induction methods. Once you are in a deep trance, imagine you are are face to face with the person with whom you have conflict. Now, in your imagination, send him unconditional love. Next while remaining in the trance, think about the issues which divide the two of you. Next, again in your imagination, use this form of statement:"I, <your name>, understand that we each do the best we are capable of at any time. I know that there are always two sides to any conflict. I understand that you, <other person's name>, think that you are are right about this issue. Furthermore I understand that the love between us is more important in the long run than any temporary conflict. Therefore, I send you total and unconditional love. May this love dissolve all conflict between us...."Now imagine you are cutting all the binds and fetters which link the two of you in conflict with each other. You may end the hypnotic session whenever you desire, or simply allow yourself to go to sleep if this is your bed time....It is important to understand that sometimes the best way to get rid of the conflict is to have as little contact as possible, or at times no contact at all, with the other

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person. Once you clear the psychic conflict, you are free to decide if you want to see the other person or not.

Day 357:Boost your self-esteem by healing conflicts with people.

Part III -- Laugh at the situation.Today we start a continue a new series on healing conflicts. Previously we have written the following articles about this topic:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ συρρουνδινγ ποιντσ οφ χονφλιχτ ωιτη πεαχε.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ υνδερστανδινγ τηατ τηοσε ωηο πυση ψουρ ηοτ βυττονσ αρε ψουρ βεστ τεαχηερσ

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ ωριτινγ α λεττερ οφ αππρεχιατιον το α δεαδ περσον.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ δεστροψινγ ψουρ ενεµιεσ . In this article we suggest you destroy your enemies by making them your friends.

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ λεαρνινγ φροµ τηε τεαχηινγσ οφ Χατηερινε Πονδερ.

• In part I of the current series we suggested: • Ωριτε το τηειρ ανγελσ. • In part II of the current series we suggested: • Σενδ τηεµ λοϖε.

In today's article we suggest you use the power of humor to overcome conflicts. To begin with remember all the past conflicts which no longer bother you. Think of all those that you can now laugh about. Next think of your current conflict from the point of view of the future. Put the events of this conflict far far behind you. Now see the funny side of this current conflict. Seen from this future point of view, all the things, which appear so serious and important, will hopefully become ridiculous and funny.If you are too involved in the current situation to see the funny side of it, another thing you can do is to see the humor in other things. Thus when you are in conflict with someone, remember a good joke. Go to a funny movie. Read a funny story. Laugh just for the sake of laughing. Smile and laugh so much that you become very happy for absolutely no reason at all, and after all what better reason to be happy could you find.One important aspect of learning to laugh at negative situations is to have the strength of character to laugh lovingly at yourself. In fact when you are able to lovingly laugh at yourself you will find that the number of your successes will increase and you be able to achieve so much more.

Day 358:Boost your self-esteem by healing conflicts with people.

Part IV -- Forgive all concerned.Today we start a continue a new series on healing conflicts. Previously we have written the following articles about this topic:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ συρρουνδινγ ποιντσ οφ χονφλιχτ ωιτη

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πεαχε. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ υνδερστανδινγ τηατ τηοσε ωηο πυση

ψουρ ηοτ βυττονσ αρε ψουρ βεστ τεαχηερσ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ ωριτινγ α λεττερ οφ αππρεχιατιον το α

δεαδ περσον. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ δεστροψινγ ψουρ ενεµιεσ . In this article

we suggest you destroy your enemies by making them your friends. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ λεαρνινγ φροµ τηε τεαχηινγσ οφ

Χατηερινε Πονδερ. • In part I of the current series we suggested: • Ωριτε το τηειρ ανγελσ. • In part II of the current series we suggested: • Σενδ τηεµ λοϖε. • In part III of the current series we suggested: • Λαυγη ατ τηε

σιτυατιον. In today's article we suggest you use the power of forgiveness to heal the conflict between you. This exercise takes about half an hour or longer. Start with taking a deep breath so you can relax. Now make a list of all the people in your past who have offended you and you need to forgive. When you are making the list, include as many people as possible. Include people who have harmed you a little as well as those who have harmed you a lot. Next make a list of all the people you have harmed in your life and who need to forgive you.Now start forgiving each of the people on the first list. You may use a form such as this:"I acknowledge that <name of person> has harmed me in the past and I understand that each person at any time does the best that he can given the circumstances. I, further, understand that we are part of a single Spirit, brought forth by the same loving Creator. Therefore I forgive you fully and freely. I forgive you from the bottom of my heart. I let you go and set you free."Once you have gone through the list (it may take you a few sessions to complete this assignment) start going through the second list asking forgiveness from the people who need to forgive you. Use a form such as that above except change it the other way around:"I acknowledge that I have harmed <name of person> in the past....."Once you go through the second list get to your current conflict and forgive the person you are in conflict with and ask her* forgiveness....The above method of total forgiveness is an extremely powerful method which may be used to clear the errors of the past and open the way to your future successes. Unfortunately, often new hurts remind us of old hurts and old resentments cone back to haunt us. Fortunately, we can get rid of these resentments much faster on new occasions. I recommend going through this forgiveness exercise at least once a year.

Day 359:Boost your self-esteem by healing conflicts with people.

Part V -- Consider mediation.Today we start a continue a new series on healing conflicts. Previously we have

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written the following articles about this topic:• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ συρρουνδινγ ποιντσ οφ χονφλιχτ ωιτη

πεαχε. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ υνδερστανδινγ τηατ τηοσε ωηο πυση

ψουρ ηοτ βυττονσ αρε ψουρ βεστ τεαχηερσ • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ ωριτινγ α λεττερ οφ αππρεχιατιον το α

δεαδ περσον. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ δεστροψινγ ψουρ ενεµιεσ . In this article

we suggest you destroy your enemies by making them your friends. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ λεαρνινγ φροµ τηε τεαχηινγσ οφ

Χατηερινε Πονδερ. • In part I of the current series we suggested: • Ωριτε το τηειρ ανγελσ. • In part II of the current series we suggested: • Σενδ τηεµ λοϖε. • In part III of the current series we suggested: • Λαυγη ατ τηε

σιτυατιον. • In part III of the current series we suggested: • Παρτ Ις −− Φοργιϖε

αλλ χονχερνεδ. Thus far, we have considered various ways to settle conflict in a proactive personal way. Sometimes, however, we might need to involve a professional person in the role of a mediator to help us work through conflict. If we chose to do so, it is helpful if the person not only is trained in mediation skills, but also, is someone we already trust. For example, recently, someone who was seeking counseling due to relationship issues, was served divorce papers by his wife. Although he had been considering doing the same, her actions came as a surprise, and created hurt and conflict. The two were, as divorcing couples tend to be, quite angry with one another, and were fighting about every little thing. A friend of his suggested he invite his wife to counseling as a form of mediation. Trusting his friend's advice, and already having established a trusting relationship with his therapist, he put the notion to his wife. She accepted. In the ensuing weeks, they were able to draw many benefits from their mediation. First, they established the fact that they were meeting, not for marriage counseling, but to move toward a peaceful dissolution of their union. They were able to understand and acknowledge that each of them were good people who simply did not have the skills they needed to be married to one another. They were able to reflect on the behaviors each of them had that contributed to the demise of the marriage, to share hurts and to express sorrow for those hurts to one another. They understood that reflecting on their mistakes, and taking responsibility for their own actions would help them heal more quickly and to assist them in not repeating the same mistakes in their next relationships. As they moved through this process, their anger toward one another began to wane. They also were able to come to fair property settlement terms and to establish custody and visitation rights for their two dogs. Toward the end of their work together, they also were able to sincerely wish each other happiness, and to hope that their lives would unfold in such a way that in future years they might have the

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opportunity to build a real friendship. As they moved toward a resolution of their conflict, they grew in inner peace and compassion toward one another. In doing so, they were able to improve their sense of self-esteem as well..

Day 360:Boost your self-esteem by dreaming big.

Weight lifters when training for a major competition will imagine they are lifting a weight much larger than they could possibly lift. Thus when they get to the actual weight it will appear so much easier to lift. You can apply the same preparation to your life. Suppose you want to increase your income by $10,000 a year, think about all the ways you could use to earn an extra $100,000 a year. Think about this new and bigger problem for a few minutes a day for a few days.Brain storm the problem. That is come up with any and every answer to the larger problem you can. Write down all your solutions whether they are practical or not. In this phase of dreaming big, you are dreaming and clearing your brain of all obstructions so you can have as many ideas as possible.Once you have spent a few days coming up with ideas to solve the larger problem, sit down and come up with ideas to solve your actual problem. By now your mind is used to the larger dream and finding ways to achieve your actual dream will be so much easier.

Day 361:Boost your self-esteem by accentuating the positive.

This is another of those things we have examined before. The theory for today's piece is that the unconscious mind cannot understand negatives. Thus rather than thinking about the negatives of your life think about the positives. In order to change something you do not like, think about what you like.I'll use weight management as an example for all other change:

• Rather than weight loss use the the term weight control or weight management. This suggestion is subtle and has to do with the negative connotation of the word loss. Typically when we lose something we do not stop until we have found it again. Thus we are all experts at weight loss and then we gain all those lost pounds back and some. It is interesting that we use a positive word "gain" for what we do not want and a negative word "loss" for what we do not want.

• Instead of telling yourself not to eat fatty foods encourage yourself to eat more lean foods and fruits and vegetables.. In general always tell yourself to do what you want.

• Rather than eating less and feeling dissatisfied eat bulky fruits and vegetables which keep your stomach full without giving you excessive calories.

• Some people make the huge mistake of calling themselves names. A lady put the photo of an obese woman on her fridge. She replaced the face with her own face and wrote underneath, "Fat Pig!" She thought that this would stop

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her from raiding the fridge. However, each time she would get near the fridge, her unconscious mind would decide, "Oh she wants me to become a fat pig." So she put on weight. The way to do it is to find a picture of the future slim you and put your face on that. In fact since you have access to a computer, you can use a photoedit program to make a slim new you to put on the fridge.

Day 362:Boost your self-esteem by taking action.

We have previously mentioned dreaming big and visualizing big. However, ultimately the only thing which works is taking action. Visualization and dreaming are necessary first steps to taking action but without the last step will not get you to your goals.When you write your goals, it is best to come up with a plan of actions which will lead to each goal. When coming up with your action plan think of alternate outcomes and what you may do in case of different contingencies. Next decide on that very important first step and take action as soon as possible.With each action that you take notice if it is taking you nearer to or further away from your goal. Repeat the actions which move you toward your goal. Modify the other actions and learn from them. If you continue taking actions and using the feedback to guide you toward your goal, you'll reach that goal, no matter what.As you act and do things, you change yourself and the world around you. When you act under all circumstances and change your plans as needed you'll succeed and achieve. This achievement will boost your self-esteem and hence you'll get into the type of positive cycle that we have previously mentioned.To this end it is important to remember that those who take risks by acting even when they may not succeed will always succeed more than those who only act when success is absolutely inevitable. The best hitters in baseball have the most strikeouts also. Most self made millionaires have many so called business failures before they succeed. The thing that differentiates these highly successful people is that: they dream big; they make plans; they take actions and are flexible; they understand that there is in reality no failure but only results; they use the feed back from their results to increase the actions which produce the desired result and learn from other actions; they persist; they continue to take actions until they succeed.

Day 363:Boost your self-esteem by being it.

In today's piece we suggest that you become the person you desire to be by being it. Thus if you have a problem, become the solution rather than complaining about the problem. Suppose there is a behavior you desire to change, become the type of person who would do the new behavior rather than the one you want to change. This is the important thing about the change. It starts from within. You change your internal attitude and then your behavior changes automatically.Once you alter your internal belief system about yourself, you will change what you do. In future articles we will write about techniques you may use to change your

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belief system. For now the following methods will help you be the person you want to be:

• Fake it till you make it. Here you -pretend you have the characteristic you desire and in time you will have it without trying.

• Ask yourself how would you act if you had such characteristic and then act in such manner.

• Find someone who has done what you want to do and model that person. • Find a mentor to teach you how to be it. • • Τακε ρισκσ ανδ τακε αχτιον. • • Αχχεντυατε τηε ποσιτιϖε. • Discover your strengths and use them. • Alternate between taking action and resting.

Day 364:Boost your self-esteem by overcoming fear of criticism.

Today we start a series about overcoming various fears. We have previously mentioned that there is this acronym of FEAR:

• F -- False • E -- Evidence • A -- Appearing • R -- Real

We have given the following suggestions for overcoming fears in general:• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ χονχερνινγ τηε ωορστ ποσσιβλε ουτχοµε

οφ α νεγατιϖε σιτυατιον. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ χηαλλενγινγ ψουρ φεαρσ βψ ιµαγινινγ

τηε δεσιρεδ ουτχοµε. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ φεελινγ τηε φεαρ ανδ δοινγ ιτ ανψωαψ. • • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ υσινγ ψουρ ωιλλ ποωερ.

Today's specific fear of criticism is potentially the most damaging for our self-esteem. The worry about what others think about us is something that we pick up at a very early age. Our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, peers instill in us this fear of criticism and rejection. Most of the time they do this in order to protect us. However, what they do not understand is that this fear does more to hold us back than just about anything else.So how do we overcome this fear? Here are some methods you may use:

• Put yourself in a place where you will be rejected in a safe environment. An example is to get your close friends to role play with you and say no to you for an evening. It is important to realize that often no is not a criticism at all but someone may honestly not be able to say yes to your request.

• Along the same line, understand that people are into themselves. Most people do not even notice what you are doing and yet you are so worried about what they think.

• Understand that you are not the target. Suppose you are working for a company and a customer has a complaint. They may be angry and take their aggression out on you, but in fact they are angry at the situation and not at

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you. Conversely when you complain at a corporation, one of the best ways to get your complaint seen to is to tell the person that you talking to that you understand that he is doing his job and your problem is not with him but with the company.

• Hang around supporting people. One of the most important indicators of people's self-esteem is the strength of their support systems. When you receive enough physical and psychological hugs, you have the power to face criticism from the nay-sayers.

• This is something that successful salespersons use. For example, suppose they notice that they close the sale in one out of every ten sales calls. Further suppose that the sale will generate two hundred and fifty dollars in commission, which works out to twenty five dollars per call. Now every time someone tells them no, they silently say to themselves, "Thank you for the twenty five dollars." In this way they play the numbers in a positive way and continue to persist. You may use this method even if you are not a salesperson.

• Challenge people's negative generalizations about you. If someone says, "You always XXXX...." Reply, "Do I always, always XXXX. Has there ever been a time when I did not XXXX?" Depending on the amount of rapport you have with the other person, you can actually say the above reply aloud or if you do not have the necessary rapport just say your reply silently.

Day 365:Boost your self-esteem by overcoming fear of loss of

love.Today we continue the series about overcoming various fears. We have previously had:

• • Βοοστ ψουρ σελφ−εστεεµ βψ οϖερχοµινγ φεαρ οφ χριτιχισµ. Fear of loss of love may bring about jealously, possessiveness, not accepting love since we are so scared that we may lose it, worrying whenever the loved one is not with us and other forms of paralysis. The reality is that when we have unconditional love, it is impossible to loose it. To a certain extent this is the true definition of love: true love is that love which is impossible to lose. Thus in mystical systems the Creator love all the creation. Jesus was criticized for his love for the "sinners." This true love is there eternally and is unconditional no matter what anyone may say.The I Ching, an ancient Chinese book of philosophy and also an oracle, writes this about this issue, "If you lose your horse, do not go after it. If it is truly yours, it will return in a week." Sting says in a song, "If you love somebody, set them free."True love is so strong that it overcomes even death. Thus people who have strong unconditional love for their loved ones who have died, will always feel the loving presence of their loved ones.Use the following methods to counter the fear of loss of love:

• Use the following affirmation: "I deserve love." Basically when you build your self-esteem and understand that you deserve love, you will also understand that there are plenty of potential loves for you. You will not be

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desperate and you will keep the loves that you have. • Have unconditional love where you care about someone else without any

expectations. If you have no expectations you will not be afraid of any loss. As Bob Dylan says, "When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose." The paradox is that when you give unconditional love and "you got nothing," often you end up with everything.

• Understand that it is impossible to lose any love. When love ends in animosity and conflict, there may be hatred and loss of love. However, in time the hatred disappears and all that is left is the original love. By • υσινγ φοργιϖενεσσ τεχηνιθυεσ you can get to this stage of the post-relationship so much faster.

• Give yourself love and nurturing. Basically those who received a lot of unconditional love in early childhood have high self-esteems and tend not to fear the loss of love. Unfortunately most people have not received such unconditional love. There is a solution. Use your imagination to go back in time and give yourself, as a child, that love that you missed out on. In a later article we will describe a guided meditation to do that. For now you can use the following meditation: • Αλιγνινγ Ψουρσελφ Ωιτη Ψουρ Ανχεστορσ.