4 Square X 6 Traits =

24 Hours a Day of

Superb Writing

Class, I’m going to give you a writing prompt. I

want you to read it carefully so that you will respond to all parts of the prompt. You will have 55 minutes to

write. Be sure to plan your writing, develop your ideas fully with

vivid details, organize your ideas coherently, use good word choice and sentence variety,

and edit your grammar and mechanics.

Your family has just won a one-week trip. Write

about where you choose to go and what happens

there. Develop your writing with details.OK. I’ll brainstorm,

and then I’ll make a 4-Square outline. Then

I’ll write my essay.

Places I’ve been: Six Flags, San Antonio (last

summer), Orlando (two years ago)

Places I’ve read about, studied, or seen on TV that I might be able to write about:

Paris, LondonI’ll write about

San Antonio, Texas.

BrainstormingYour family has just won a one-week trip. Write about where you choose to go and

what happens there. Develop your writing with details.

San Antonio, TexasAlamo River Walk El Mercado Ripley’s

History, Santa Anna, Houston, Travis, Crockett, heroes, against all odds, church mission, giant trees, wishing well, big cannon

Cool, trees, flowers, water, shops, restaurants, below street level, unique things to buy, music, eat outdoors, buy jewelry, souvenirs

Mexican market, shops, mariachi music, Spanish dancing

Strange items from nature, manmade odd things, wax museum w/ many from history and current time, history of Ripley’s, Presidents

Wow!

Don’t forget to use The Writing Center

as a resource for teachers, students,

and parents.

I use it all of the time. Information

is organized by writing traits.

There is a whole section on 4-

Square. Any time I am having

trouble writing something, I click

on The Writing Center, and I can find something to

help me.

Your family has just won a one-week trip. Write

about where you choose to go and what happens

there. Develop your writing with details.

Nice commercials, people. Now, I’ve forgotten

the prompt.

Hey, Ma’am… Teacher… Miss… um…Teacher! I

have a question. I don’t know how to

organize this. Is this a narrative essay

(you know, a story) like…

HOW MY FAMILY WON THE LOTTERY

AND SPENT A WEEK

IN SAN ANTONIO,

TEXAS

See, Ma’am. Now, that would be a narrative essay. A narrative essay is like a little

story.

OR is it a descriptive essay

like…

SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS,

THE BEST VACATION

SPOT IN THE WORLD!

See what I mean? In a descriptive essay, I would

be just describing what San Antonio is like…you

know, telling what goes on there.

See my problem, Teacher? A narrative

essay (story)

should be written like this…

Time ConnectorEvent 1

Detail Vivid

Detail Vivid

Detail Vivid

Time Connector Event 2

Detail Vivid

Detail Vivid

Detail Vivid

Time ConnectorEvent 3

Detail Vivid

Detail Vivid

Detail Vivid

Time Connector

Big Ending

The Trip to San

AntonioWho?What?Where?When?Why?

…but a descriptive essay

should be written like this.

Connecting Word

Reason/Example/Support Detail

Vivid

Detail

Vivid

Detail

Vivid

Connecting WordReason/Example/Support Detail

Vivid

Detail

Vivid

Detail

Vivid

Connecting WordReason/Example/Support Detail

Vivid

Detail

Vivid

Detail

Vivid

Wrap-Up Sentence with Connecting WordPersonal/Reflective Sentence, Question, or Exclamation

San Antonio is the best vacation spot.

SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS,

THE BEST VACATION

SPOT IN THE

WORLD!

HOW MY FAMILY WON THE LOTTERY

AND SPENT A WEEK

IN SAN

ANTONIO, TEXAS

See? They’re really different…

This is the prompt: Your family has just won a one-week trip. Write about where you choose to go and what happens there.

Develop your writing with details.

“…where you choose to go…” means the destination of your

trip.“…what happens there” can mean either (1.) what happens once you and your family arrive (narrative)

or (2.) what kinds of things happen there (descriptive).

…so should my essay by

narrative or descriptive?

Either narrative or descriptive will be fine for this prompt. You decide based on which

one you like better and which one you think will work

better.

I choose descriptive! Now I

can start my 4-Square organizer.

Paragraph 2

(Box 2)

Paragraph 3

(Box 3)

Paragraph 4

(Box 4)

Concluding Paragraph

(Box 5)

This is the 4-Square Organizer.

(Box 1) Thesis Statement –

Develop into Introductory Paragraph

Write your thesis statement in the middle box (Box 1). Your thesis statement is just a sentence stating what you are going to claim, assert, declare, insist, suggest, proclaim, affirm, or say.

OK, I’m going to make a statement

about a place.

Later, when you begin to write, you will start with this (1.) topic

sentence. Then, you will add (2.) a “wrap up” sentence that tells your

3 examples and (3.) a personal/reflective sentence.

San Antonio, Texas, is an excellent vacation spot.

Huh?

San Antonio, Texas, is an excellent vacation spot.

Like this…

San Antonio, Texas, is an excellent vacation spot. Strolling on the River Walk, wandering through Ripley’s, and exploring the Alamo fulfill any traveler’s dreams. If one is looking for a beautiful, exciting, meaningful place for relaxation, San Antonio is the place.

River Walk Ripley’s Believe It or Not and Wax Museum

Alamo

Now you have to choose 3 examples to describe

WHY it is a good vacation spot.

San Antonio, Texas, is an excellent vacation spot.

Easy.

First,

River WalkSecond,

Ripley’s Believe It or Not and Wax Museum

Third,

Alamo In conclusion,

San Antonio, Texas, is an excellent vacation spot.

Save room for some connecting

words.

Are those the only connecting words

we can use?

Dude, those

transition words are

so “second grade.”

Let me get my writing book. It has a lesson on transition,

or “connecting”

words.

FirstOne reasonFor exampleOne exampleTo begin withTo start with

SecondAnother reasonAnother exampleAlsoIn addition___, like ___,

ThirdAdditionally____, as well as ____, ____, too, For instanceAlong with

In conclusion LastFinallyAs one can seeIn summaryIt is easy to see that

Use these color-coded

connecting words as transitions between

paragraphs.

Don’t you have any

more words

?

Instead of a connecting “word,” you can use a connecting “phrase.” It’s a more grown-up way to write.

We call it a “paragraph link.”All you do is this. Instead of using one of the connecting words, just mention the “example” from the

previous paragraph before you start writing about the “example” in your

current paragraph. Like this:

It is true that the River Walk is an exciting part of San Antonio, but

nothing can top Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum and its Wax Museum for

unbelievable entertainment.

Paragraph links!

Great! We get the idea!

Yeah!This is OK: Another

example of an interesting place in San Antonio is the

Alamo.This is much better:

Although Ripley’s Museum will leave tourists

entertained, the Alamo will certainly satisfy anyone’s

hunger for history. Wow! That’s better

!

First

River Walk•Wind through downtown 1 level below main city streets•Unique shops•Restaurants

It is true that RW…but Ripley’s …

Ripley’s Believe It or Not and Wax Museum•Odd man-made items•Unusual items from nature•Wax people who look real

Finally

Alamo•Former mission•Texans vs. Santa Anna’s army•Well in square in courtyard

It is easy to see that

San Antonio, Texas, is an excellent vacation spot.

Now we add three details to describe each of our examples.

Sure, you can add

details to your

examples, but if your details are not VIVID,

you are just using words,

not mind pictures.

Yeah. You have to follow each detail

with a “vivid.” That is a sentence that

answers this question: “LIKE

WHAT?” Your vivid should bring a

picture to the mind of the reader. It

should be a taste, a smell, a sound, a touch, or a sight.

LIKE WHAT?

Use a vivid description to “extend” the development of your detail.

SEE

SMELL

TASTE

HEAR

TOUCH

Connecting Word or Transition Link

Example Detail Vivid

2

5

3

4

…so boxes 2, 3, and 4

should be like this…

First

River Walk Wind through downtown 1 level below main city streets

Cool, watery, tree-lined banks

Unique shopsSouthwest clothing, jewelry, art

RestaurantsOutdoor patio, aroma of food, sound of music

Yeah! Vivid!

It is true that RW…but Ripley’s …

Ripley’s Believe It or Not and Wax Museum Odd man-made itemsEiffel Tower made of toothpicks, Lord’s Prayer on grain of rice

Unusual items from naturePetrified raindrop, shrunken heads

Wax people who look realBritney Spears, Abraham Lincoln, Cher

Have you ever been there

?

No, but I want to go!

It sound

s cool!

Finally

Alamo Former missionChapel most photographed building

Texans vs. Santa Anna’s armyOutnumbered greatly but courageous Well in square in courtyardCool, shady, trees, stone pathway

I love histor

y.

It is easy to see that San Antonio is a prize-winning vacation spot because with the River Walk, Ripley’s, and the Alamo, the fun never ends. Let’s jump in the car and head that way right now!

Concluding Paragraph:(1.)Connecting word(s); (2.)Wrap up

sentence (includes your 3 examples); and

(3.)Personal/reflective sentence, question, or exclamation.

Dude, you are really good with this 4-Square

thing.However, my teacher gave us some tips on

writing better introductions and

conclusions.You know, you can

“narrow down,” use quotations, use future predictions, and things like that. You can find

those tips at www.edmondschools.net

Click CurriculumClick The Writing Center

What about these “traits” I keep hearing

about?

Traits are the characteristics of

writing.Traits are how we describe writing.

Like this:(1.) How did you

develop your thesis?(2.) How did you

organize your ideas?(3.) What kind of word

choice did you use?(4.) Did you use a

variety of sentence structures?

(5.) Did you edit for grammar, usage, and

mechanics?

Score Ideas and Development - 30%

4 The content is well suited for the audience and purpose; main idea or thesis is clear; ideas are fully developed and elaborated using details, examples, reasons, or evidence; writer expresses an insightful perspective towards the topic

3 The content is adequate for audience and purpose; main idea is evident but may lack clarity; ideas are developed using some details, examples, reasons, and/or evidence; writer sustains his/her perspective toward the topic throughout most of the composition

2 The content is inconsistent with audience and purpose; main idea is not focused and leaves the reader with questions; must infer to understand; ideas are minimally developed with few details; may simply be a list of ideas; writer has difficulty expressing his/her perspective toward topic

1 The content is irrelevant to the audience and purpose; lacks a central idea; ideas lack development or may be repetitive; writer has little or no perspective on topic

4-Excellent 3-Acceptable 2-Below Average 1-Unsatisfactory

Score Organization, Unity, and Coherence - 25%

4 Introduction engages the reader; sustained or consistent focus on the topic; logical and appropriate sequencing and balanced with smooth, effective transitions; order and structure are strong and move the reader through the text; conclusion is satisfying

3 Evident introduction to the topic; adequate focus; adequate sequencing; stays on topic with little digression; uses limited but effective transitions; order and structure are present; conclusion is appropriate

2 May lack a clear organizational structure; weak evidence of unity; little or limited sequencing and/or transitions; details may be randomly placed

1 Lacks logical direction; no evidence of organizational structure

4-Excellent 3-Acceptable 2-Below Average 1-Unsatisfactory

Score

Word Choice - 15%

4-Excellent 3-Acceptable 2-Below Average 1-Unsatisfactory

4 Appropriate word choice which conveys the correct meaning and appeals to the audience in an interesting, precise, and natural way; the writing may be characterized by, but not limited to lively verbs, vivid nouns, imaginative adjectives, figurative language, dialogue; no vague, overused, repetitive language is used (a lot, great, very, really); ordinary words used in an unusual way

3 Words generally convey the intended message; the writer uses a variety of words that are appropriate but do not necessarily energize the writing; the writing may be characterized by attempts at figurative language and dialogue, some use of lively verbs, vivid nouns, and imaginative adjectives, few vague, overused, and repetitive words are used

2 Word choice lacks precision and variety or may be inappropriate to the audience and purpose; may be simplistic and/or vague; relies on overused or vague language (a lot, great, very, really); few attempts at figurative language and dialogue; word choice is unimaginative and colorless with images that are unclear or absent

1 Word choice indicates an extremely limited or inaccurate vocabulary; no attempts at figurative language; general, vague words that fail to communicate meaning; text may be too short to demonstrate variety

Score Sentences and Paragraphs - 15%

4 Writing clearly demonstrates appropriate sentence structure; writing has few or no run-on or fragment errors; writing has a rich variety of sentence structure, types, and lengths; ideas are organized into paragraphs that blend into larger text; evidence of appropriate paragraphing

3 Writing adequately demonstrates appropriate sentence structure; writing may contain a small number of run-on or fragment errors that do not interfere with fluency; writing has adequate variety of sentence structure; ideas may be organized into paragraphs

2 Writing demonstrates lack of control in sentence structure; writing contains errors such as run-ons and fragments that interfere with fluency; writing has limited variety of sentence structure; writing may show little or no attempt at paragraphing

1 Inappropriate sentence structure; many errors in structure (run-ons, fragments); no variety in structure; no attempt at paragraphing

4-Excellent 3-Acceptable 2-Below Average 1-Unsatisfactory

Score Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics - 15%

4-Excellent 3-Acceptable 2-Below Average 1-Unsatisfactory

4 The writer demonstrates appropriate use of correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, grammar, usage; errors are minor and do not affect readability

3 The writer demonstrates adequate use of correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, grammar, usage; errors may be more noticeable but do not significantly affect readability

2 The writer demonstrates minimal use of correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, grammar, usage; errors may be distracting and interfere with readability

1 The writer demonstrates very limited use of correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, grammar, usage; errors are numerous and severely impede readability 

(Yawn) Oh boy! Today we’re going to learn

how to grade our essays just like the

graders for the state writing test.

Students, test your score against the state formula: To calculate, multiply the weights by the trait scores. Sum up all of the weighted trait scores. Multiply 15 by the sum of the weighted trait scores. Then round to the nearest whole number. Composite Scale - 15-60 - Standard-Setting Committees will determine the cut scores.Unsatisfactory ___ to ___, Limited Knowledge ___ to ___, Satisfactory ___ to ___, Advanced ___ to ___

Analytic Traits Weight   Trait Score   Weighted Trait Score

Ideas and Development .30 x   =  

Organization, Unity, and Coherence .25 x   =  

Sentences and Paragraphs .15 x   =  

Word Choice .15 x   =  

Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics .15 x   =  

          Sum

          = _____

_____(Sum) x 15 = _____ (Composite [Final] Score) SDE Reading/Language Arts Consortium 3-10-06

How should I try to improve in

Ideas and Development?

Ideas and Development is 30% of the score. Graders look for

each paragraph to be fully developed with a topic

sentence that gives your reason, example, or support; a second sentence that gives a

“detail” describing the example; a third sentence

giving a “vivid” describing the detail; and a concluding

sentence reminding us of the topic.

What about Organization, Unity,

and Coherence? What should I concentrate

on?

Stick to your topic!Keep everything in

sequence.Use smooth, effective

transitions.Have an “engaging”

introduction.Have a conclusion.

Easy! Choose a few lively verbs, vivid

nouns, imaginative adjectives, and

interesting adverbs that you like, and

use them frequently as you write.

Always include a simile. Revise

overused, repetitive language.

I’m all wet on

Word Choice.

I know everything

about Sentences

and Paragraphs! I like to use introductory participial phrases!

Yeah, we always win writing contests because of our

superb sentence variety! I like to use appositive phrases,

compound sentences, and two independent clauses with a semicolon in

the middle!

Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics! If you are writing a timed, in-class

prompt, take a few minutes to edit your paper before you turn it in.

However, if it is homework and you have plenty of time to edit and

revise, ask someone to read your paper for you, get suggestions, use Spell Check, use a dictionary, and

use your hot pink Edmond Grammar Guide.

Do you realize that

all of the rubrics our

teachers use to grade our

writing are on the web? We

can see exactly how

they’re going to grade us!

I’m going to make a note

of this excellent resource!

4 Square X 6 Traits =

24 Hours a Day of

Superb Writing

They used to have six, but

Grammar and

Usage were

combined with

Mechanics.

Six traits

? These peopl

e have only five!

Go write some superb stuff now.

Assess your own writing according to

OCCT standards.

See ya, dudes.