7 Steps Towards A More

Fulfilling Life

By Carolyn Economides

2

Copyright © Carolyn Economides

Revised 13 August 2015

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,

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without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case

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commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests,

contact publisher at the address below.

Publisher: Carolyn Economides

info@carolyneconomides.com

www.carolyneconomides.com

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7 Steps Towards A More Fulfilling Life

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

ONE

Decide to live fully now

TWO

Start from where you are

THREE

You are responsible for your future

FOUR

Rewire your mindset

FIVE

You are the only one standing in your way

SIX

Get to know yourself

SEVEN

Step by step

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INTRODUCTION

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be

trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking.

Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And

most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition,

they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything

else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

How do you feel about your life today? Are you enjoying what you are

doing? Are you looking forward to what is coming up next? Are you living

life to its full - the way that you want to be living it?

If your answer to any of the above is a “maybe”, “I’m not sure” or “no”

that means you’re not living your life to its fullest. And that shouldn’t

really be the case because it suggests you are settling for second best.

And in all honesty you are the author of your own life and it is in your

hands to live your best life, on your terms and the way you want to live

it.

We all know that life isn’t always sunshine and roses and frankly if that

were the case then life would be pretty monotonous and boring.

Furthermore, I don’t believe there is one person amongst us whose life

hasn’t been dotted with shadows, trials or tribulations in one way or

another. We've all faced our own unique set of challenges - some of us

more than others and some of us it sometimes seems, more than our

fair share.

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Just as we've all played, laughed and frolicked so we've all tripped,

stumbled and fallen. Falling down is also part of life though isn’t it? And

yet we somehow find the strength to get back up and move on. The

choice to get up and keep moving is ours to make and whatever our

decision, one factor is undeniable - as human beings we are blessed with

the luxury of choice.

Oddly enough, it’s out of these hard times that blessings often arise - for

it is during our toughest times that we grow the most as human beings.

Life has knocked me down quite few times and has shown me things

that I never really wanted to see. However the challenges, sadness,

failures and hard times that I have faced have made me stronger, more

courageous. They have armed me with greater self-knowledge and a

deeper understanding and compassion for those around me and myself.

By my mid-forties I had reached a point in my life where living the way I

was living was harder than the fear of facing an uncertain and unfamiliar

future. A point where I realized that surely there has to be more to life.

And when that turning point came, I found myself more courageous than

I ever thought possible, armed with lessons that I had chalked up to

life’s experience and strong enough to make a crucial life decision that

would profoundly change my life. A decision that clearly demonstrated

that I deserved more - that I deserved better than the life I was settling

for.

I now consciously aspire to live my life to its full and in alignment with

certain values and principles that express not only who I am but also

which have enabled me to embrace my future with enthusiasm and an

open heart.

This guide encapsulates seven key steps towards achieving a more

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fulfilling life. If you picture the whole transition process as a house then

these seven steps represent your foundations. By grasping and applying

them practically and wholeheartedly to your life as I have done and

continue to do, they will increase your level of self- awareness, empower

you and put you back in the driver’s seat - allowing you to live your life

on a whole new level.

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ONE

DECIDE TO LIVE FULLY NOW

“If you’re going to be alive and on this planet, you have to like, suck the marrow out of every day and get the most out of it”

- Drew Barrymore

Life is an experience that you actively create rather than something you

just wait to happen.

So many of us put our lives “on hold”. More than often, we‘re not even

aware that we’re doing so because as with all human behaviour, we do it

unconsciously. We run on autopilot. We drift, we postpone and

procrastinate and then before you know it we’re that bit older and we

find ourselves feeling unfulfilled and not very happy with the way our

lives have turned out.

It can happen to the best of us. Perhaps we believe that once we make

more money, have more time, get a job where we are more respected

and valued, find the perfect partner, buy a bigger house, buy the dream

car - then we can have the life that we’ve always wanted. We make

promises to the people that we love that when things calm down a little

we’ll spend more quality time with them, will be better communicators,

will listen more and be more loving. We even make promises to

ourselves - that we’ll become fitter, eat healthier, cut out bad habits that

drain our energy and harm our body with a view to regaining that zest

for life that we once had or so longed for. The problem with this is that

it’s also a never-ending story because once we get what we want we

never seem to be satisfied and are always looking to find something else

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that we want!

Meanwhile, deep down inside, we all have an inner voice that whispers

“there will never be a better time to live the life we want than now”.

Why waste any more precious time dreaming about the life you hope to

have one day? Why waste any more time waiting for the so-called

perfect time when everything falls into place and things are as you want

them to be?

You can start to create a more fulfilling life by simply concentrating on

the good things in your life, by doing things that you enjoy doing rather

than focussing on the bad stuff. Look at what it is you want in all areas

of your life, evaluate how important it is to you and then create a plan of

action to get yourself from where you are now to where you want to be.

Arm yourself with three important ingredients - focus, determination and

discipline - and you can do anything you wish to do, have anything you

wish to have, be anything you wish to be. Get your finger off the pause

button ... and simply press play.

A few thoughts on living fully now:

Count your blessings. Appreciate and enjoy even the most

seemingly insignificant moments of today – everything you’ve

experienced, achieved, shared, seen and felt.

Smile! Every day is full of endless possibilities. It’s in your hands to

control your attitude, so choose to start your day with a smile and

an optimistic outlook.

Keep your sense of humour. Laughter is strong medicine for the

mind and body. And better still, it’s free!

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Express yourself. Don’t suppress your anger and negative feelings.

Forgive yourself and others. Come to terms with past hurts and

move on. Dwelling on the past prevents you from living in the

present.

Create your plan for tomorrow – without a target or destination

how can you know where you are going?

Dream about tomorrow but don’t let it replace living today

Love what you do – whether it’s work or play. If you don’t, then

either change what you’re doing or change your attitude towards it.

Stop worrying and chill out! How can you truly appreciate today if

you are too busy worrying about tomorrow? Whether you worry

about if or not, tomorrow is going to happen!

Focus on asking for what you want and satisfying your needs

today. In order for your environment to be well, you have to be

well!

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TWO

START WHERE YOU ARE

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can

start from now and make a brand new ending.” - Carl Bard

Don’t let what happened yesterday, the week before or the year before

hold you back from living the life you want.

You can’t change the past - it has happened and it is what it is. No

amount of regret or wishing “if only” will make the slightest bit of

difference or help you in any way today. Those wishes will simply cause

wear and tear - holding you back from healing and moving on with your

life.

So many times we find ourselves stuck because of regret - unable to

look ahead at the opportunities that are awaiting us because we are

constantly looking behind us at what was. Many of us also find ourselves

paralyzed by what lays ahead - by the fear of the unfamiliar,

unchartered waters, the unknown.

I myself have (finally) learnt to stop wishing things were different. I deal

with things head on and anticipate rather than fear what is to come. I

have come to believe that everything in my life has happened for a

reason because every single experience has helped mould the person I

am today. I also accept that what goes up must come down and vice

versa - that when you reach rock bottom, there’s only one way to go. I

have started fortifying the foundations of my life for a brighter and

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better future.

I’ve had many starting points in my life and will no doubt have many

more. I have trodden a path that has changed many directions over the

course of my life and it has bought me to where I am today. When I look

back I realize that I’ve come a long way. I feel blessed, grateful and

quite impressed that I’ve made it this far - alive, kicking and ready for

more! It’s something worth celebrating.

A few thoughts on starting where you are:

Live today as if it were the beginning of the rest of your life.

Put the past behind you - “The past is history, the future is a

mystery, today is a gift and that’s why they call it the present”.

Life is indeed a precious gift – so live it!

Strengthen your life’s foundations – learn to stand firmly on your

two legs and then build your priorities on those.

Break old cycles and find new ways of doing things.

Go out and fall – it’s ok! Because when you fall, you learn.

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THREE

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FUTURE

"If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to

accomplish your dreams" - Les Brown

We all make excuses and most of the time we do it without even

thinking. We blame our circumstances. We point our finger at our

parents, at our partner, at our ex, at our boss. When things don’t work

out as planned it’s easier to blame anything and anyone but ourselves.

In fact it’s not only easy when it’s someone else’s fault, it’s also a good

excuse because it lets you off the hook. Or so you think!

The truth is that you and you alone are responsible for your life. I know

this might seem like a tall order to accept because it is a concept that in

some situations is easy to grasp and yet in others seems quite difficult to

accept and apply.

Taking full responsibility, however, will ‘set you free’ because it puts you

back in the driver’s seat - back in charge of your life. Your world can

only start getting better when you change your “it’s not my fault”

mentality to one of no more excuses. If you want to succeed you simply

cannot abdicate your responsibility to your circumstances or to those

around you.

I wonder how many of you would agree with the following statement:

“there’s only one excuse for being late - and that’s because you didn’t

set off early enough”. Get my drift?

Accepting responsibility rather than assigning blame will also lessen the

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impact of other people’s actions on your life. Some of you might say, it’s

not my fault let’s say, that my partner abuses me emotionally. And I will

answer, we cannot control other people’s behaviour - they make a choice

to behave in a certain way. What we can control is our reaction to their

behaviour and this is our responsibility. In this case, we have a choice -

to stay or leave. No one can make you feel small, insignificant or

unworthy if you don’t allow them to. Other people will always adapt their

behaviour according to how we react or act, to what we are willing to

tolerate and to what we find acceptable. As the saying goes, givers need

to set boundaries because takers rarely do!

Let me give you another example here and refer to the ending of a letter

of complaint that I wrote to the headmaster of my son’s school, about a

certain member of the teaching staff - “I am furthermore inclined to

believe that if there is resistance in a class as a whole then this is more

than likely due to the lack of rapport and an inflexible communicator

than to the unwillingness of the children to learn and be guided”. In my

view, once a teacher steps foot into a classroom she is responsible for

understanding her pupils’ interests and needs, for preparing appropriate

academic material, for ensuring that everything works according to plan

and if that doesn’t work, then to have a back up plan. A successful

teacher does not renounce her responsibility to her pupils.

Taking responsibility is the hallmark of a successful approach to life. In

the same way, blame and excuses are the hallmarks of an unsuccessful

one. The first and probably most important step in taking responsibility

for your life is to accept that your life is your responsibility. It’s your life

and you are the CEO. No one can or should live your life for you. Every

event of your life is the result of the choices you have made and are still

making.

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A few thoughts on taking responsibility:

Where do you stand today in terms of responsibility? Are you

willing to accept responsibility for your actions, choices and results?

Are you passively waiting for opportunities to come knocking on

your door or are you actively searching for and creating the

opportunities in your life yourself?

Are you happy getting what is given to you or do you want to

define what could be yours?

Start becoming consciously aware of your reactions to things that

happen in your life. If you acted in another way would you get a

different result?

Avoid blaming others or circumstances. Realize that you and you

alone are responsible for your life.

Ask yourself today where you need to take full responsibility in

your life.

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FOUR

RE-WIRE YOUR MINDSET

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought ... What we think,

we become” - Buddha

This point is really important because without real internal shifts success

may evade you regardless of your best intentions.

You’ve probably heard this hundreds of times in hundreds of different

ways - you become what you think about. Your thoughts are what shape

your reality. “Seek and you shall find” (Matthew 7:7).

What you focus on has a tendency to become reality. It’s like the domino

effect. Your actions are based on your daily thoughts. And it’s the actions

that you take on a daily basis that create the results in your life.

This is a notion that affects every area of our lives - whether it is related

to family, friends, personal relationships or work. So, if for example you

are in a constant state of anxiousness then your actions will reflect that

negative state. On the other hand, if you feel that you are let’s say

worthy of only the very best then your actions will reflect that

confidence.

Better actions will in turn create better results. If you expect a positive

reaction from those around you, this is what you will project and

therefore you are most likely to receive. And of course vice versa - if you

anticipate negativity or hostility, that’s what you’ll give off and that’s

what you will attract. This is such an important concept and yet many

people are either unaware of this fact, have never given it any

consideration or simply tend to disregard it. Our thoughts shape our

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reality and what is foremost in our mind determines our outcome.

Once you start getting some insight into what makes you tick you will

then automatically start shifting from being an observer of your

emotions to being master of your mind, replacing negative thoughts with

more resourceful ones that will in turn make your whole outlook on life

much brighter.

No matter what stage you are in your life and no matter what has

happened in the past, you now have a choice to start changing your

thoughts and in so doing change the direction and quality of your life.

A few thoughts on changing your mindset:

For any changes to take place in the way you think, self-awareness

is critical. Start by monitoring your thoughts and your feelings.

Take note of them mentally. Observing your thoughts can be

quite powerful and can have a huge impact on the way you feel as

a result of having them.

How often do you hear someone else’s words coming out of your

mouth? How often do you do certain things because that’s the way

you’ve always done them? Are you ready to start replacing any

negative thoughts and beliefs with more resourceful ones? Maybe

it’s time to re-examine everything that you’ve been told.

Work out and focus on what it is that you want rather than what

you don’t want.

Write it all down in a journal. This is a good way to focus your

attention - keeping track of your thoughts and patterns of

behaviour and in the process creating a permanent record for

feedback in the future.

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FIVE

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE STANDING IN YOUR

WAY

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose

sight of the shore” - Andre Gide

More often than not we are the only ones preventing ourselves from

becoming better and achieving more in life. At face value this sounds a

little crazy but most of us are actually unaware of the huge role our

personal beliefs play in how we view our own life and how we limit

ourselves.

Our beliefs are those convictions that we hold and trust as being true.

They form the rules that we run our lives on. Initially our beliefs come

from other people and are formed in childhood and during adolescence.

Think back to your own childhood. How was your behaviour affected by

what someone else said about you? Perhaps an undermining comment

from a teacher (“What a silly thing to say!”) made you think twice about

raising your hand again in class, for fear of ridicule and humiliation.

If you received positive encouragement as a child from your parents,

teachers and peers, you will have the foundation of good, healthy and

positive self-beliefs. On the other hand, if you were criticized, blamed,

neglected or laughed at, then your belief pattern will be more negative

and disempowering. Ultimately, a lot of what you say has more to do

with your internal beliefs and issues than to do with other people.

The image you have of yourself today as an adult has originated from

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your reaction to the collection of attitudes and opinions that you have

received from others. And it's more than likely still influencing your

behaviour today.

The good news is that beliefs established in childhood and that are

projected forward on to current situations can be changed and turned

around. It’s just a question of reprogramming the unconscious mind. In

order to reach greater heights and have the best life experience, you

need to identify which of your beliefs are disempowering and then

replace them with more empowering ones. Use the lessons you have

gained from your life’s experience to shake up the control that your

belief system has on your life. This will help you give up the illusion that

you are a victim and assist you in taking responsibility for how your life

unfolds.

Just ‘be’ the very best that you can be at whatever you are doing. And

remember, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way

you are right.” (Henry Ford)

A few thoughts on standing in your own way:

Have you ever wondered how your beliefs actually create your

reality?

Are you the main barrier in moving forward with your life?

Are you ready to get out of your own way?

Start now regularly evaluating your belief structures and connect

with your personal power.

Release the stories that no longer serve you.

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SIX

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF

"Be yourself; everyone is already taken” - Oscar Wild

Now this is one of my favourites, so I will linger a little longer here. In

some ways, it may seem a little strange to have to get to know yourself.

After all, you’ve been by your side the whole of your life so knowing

yourself should go with the territory, right? Well, not necessarily!

When you are being true to yourself you are being completely honest

with what you feel, believe, desire and value. It means not only acting in

accordance with your authentic self but also means communicating your

feelings and beliefs to those around you - without worrying about

conforming to their expectations of you.

Although the accumulation of our life’s experiences have without a doubt

helped shape us into the people we are today, this does not mean that

we necessarily know who we really are - what makes us do what we do

and what we want from life.

Pinning down one’s true self is not an easy one. In fact, being yourself

and everything that it encompasses can be quite a scary proposal. It

takes both courage and self-confidence to stand up and be who you

really are - to unveil your uniqueness and show that you're one of a

kind. Being true to yourself challenges you to be assertive, honest,

reflective and impartial.

Coming to terms with who you are must begin with the examination of

what drives you - your values, desires, thoughts and how you relate to

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the world around you.

Our main drivers are our values. They are an expression of ourselves -

what we feel strongest about and what is important to us. Our values

are the principles that are central to our very being - defining who we

are and guiding us to where we want to be, to what we want to do and

to what we want to have in our lives.

Getting to know your values is crucial and yet many of us go through life

unaware of what they are and their significance. Although we consciously

know some of our values, most of our values are acted out on an

unconscious level. We automatically respond to certain situations in life -

as if we were on automatic pilot - without being aware that the choices

about how we deal with situations are being governed by our values.

A huge part of my self-discovery has been getting to know what is

important to me and what drives me - that in itself has given me

direction and purpose. I have been exploring personal growth and

development on every level for a number of years and it was once I was

well into that journey that I discovered just what a huge impact (good

and bad) my own personal values have had on my life.

Find out about which values drive you in all aspects of your life and

combine this information with what you have learned through trial and

error throughout your life - then you are well on you’re your way down

the road to self discovery.

A few thoughts on getting to know your true self:

Has the time come to introduce you to yourself? Who is the inner

person that lies beneath the name and title?

Are you ready to forget who they told you to be? Dare to be your

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original self in the best way you know.

Discover your values - what matters to you most on your deepest

levels.

Become aware of your strengths - the ones your already possess

as well as the ones you want to develop.

Identify your tendencies, patterns of behaviour and habits - both

good and bad.

Ensure your thoughts and dreams are your own and not someone

else’s.

Stand up for what you believe in.

Accept yourself – both your virtues and your limitations.

Establish your direction and start setting goals to get you to where

you want to be.

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SEVEN

STEP BY STEP

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase.

Just take the first step” - Dr Martin Luther King Jr

Everything has a beginning. Every song starts with a note, every

conversation with just a word and the longest of journeys starts with a

first step. Even realizing the dream of the life you want has to start

somewhere.

As with accomplishing any big dream, moving from where you are now

to where you want to be rarely happens in one giant leap. Usually, it

takes a number of small steps to get to your destination and it is this

step-by-step process that constitutes the giant leap forward.

So where do you begin? Well, by setting personal goals for a start.

Firstly you have to spend some time thinking about what you want from

life. When you set out on a long journey you normally have a clear idea

or at least some idea of your destination. In the same way, goal setting

helps you choose where you want to go in life. It is a powerful process

for thinking about your ideal future and turning that vision into reality.

By knowing exactly what it is you want to achieve, you know where you

have to focus your efforts and how to avoid the pitfalls (distractions,

obstacles) that can throw you off track along the way.

In Brian Tracy’s overview on goal setting in his book “Flight Plan”, he

uses an analogy of a flight to explain the process of goal setting for

personal success. Even though a number of flights can go off-course

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they all finally reach their destination. During the journey the pilot has to

deal with various obstacles (turbulence, storms, wind, lightning), which

prompt him to make adjustments throughout the whole journey. That’s

exactly how goal setting works in real life. You know your destination

and you work towards it, predicting various obstacles that you may

encounter and make adjustments along the way.

So, create your big picture of what you want to do with your life (let’s

say over the next 5 years) and then identify the large-scale goals that

you want to achieve. Break these down into smaller and smaller targets

- yearly, monthly, weekly - that you must reach in order to achieve your

‘big picture’. Finally, once you have a plan start taking action and

working on it in order to achieve what you want.

The key to great success is thinking big and then thinking small. Goal

setting is something that many people have tried to do but few have

made work. The challenge that most people face is actually committing

themselves to the desired outcome they’d like to have. They start out

with the greatest of enthusiasm and then when hurdles pop up they end

up giving up.

And that’s the difference between wishful thinking and goal setting. With

the right sorts of questions and the appropriate coaching tools, goal

setting can work for you – getting you from where you are now to where

you want to be.

A few thoughts on taking one step at a time:

Determine what you want to achieve in all areas of your life.

Write down your big 5-year goals and break them down into

smaller yearly goals. Then take your first year goal and split it

further into month by month and then week-by-week increments

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accordingly.

Write your plan of action down, define when you will accomplish

each step, be consistent and make it stick!

Constantly review your long and short-term goals - look at what

you’ve achieved (give yourself a pat on the back), see what’s

working and what’s not and make adjustments along the way. Bear

in mind that goal setting is an ever-evolving exercise.

Remember, “If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember

that this whole thing was started with a dream and a mouse” -

Walt Disney

And finally … you are the driver of your own life. Don’t allow

anyone else to steal your seat!

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MORE SUPPORT FOR YOU

Thank you for reading!

I hope that “7 Steps Towards A More Fulfilling Life” will bring you at least

one step closer to living a more gratifying and productive life.

My name is Carolyn Economides and I am a Confidence Coach. May aim

is to empower people from all walks of life to grow and achieve their

highest potential. Working with me will empower you in what matters to

you – helping you gain clarity, direction and the results that you want for

a more fulfilling life

If you have found this e-book helpful then you will no doubt benefit from

the coaching process. To find out more about what I do and how I can

help you, then visit my website www.carolyneconomides.com or contact

me at info@carolyneconomides.com

I would be delighted to hear from you.