LOVING & LIKING

THEORIES OF LOVESTYLES OF LOVE (Lee)Primary StylesLove of BeautyPlayful LoveCompanionate Love

OTHER STYLES WHICH COMBINE PRIMARY STYLESObsessive LoveRealistic LoveIS IT REALLY A LOVE STYLE OR AN IDEAL?Altruistic Love

TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE (Sternberg)

TRIANGULAR THEORY COMPONENTS:IntimacyPassionCommitment

DISTINGUISHING LIKING AND LOVINGPASSION VS. REWARDS (Berscheid & Walster)FRIENDSHIP VS. LOVE (Davis & Todd)LIKE, LOVE, IN LOVE (Lamm & Wiesmann)

CLOSENESS IN RELATIONSHIPS FEHRS RESEARCHTrustCaringHonestyFriendshipRespect

MAXWELLS RESEARCHSeparation DistressSharing of Attitudes, Values, InterestsNaturalnessSimilarityFollowing (Seeking out and spending time with)Giving and Receiving HelpCommunicating About Important Issues

ATTACHMENT STYLESSECUREAVOIDANTANXIOUS/AMBIVALENT

CONCLUSIONS FROM STUDIES OF LIKING & LOVINGLIKING AND LOVING DIFFERIn Degree - Shared Characteristics Vary In IntensityIn Kind - Have Different CharacteristicsOver TimeEMOTIONAL INTENSITY IS USUALLY GREATER FOR LOVE RELATIONSHIPS --ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE ARE PERCEIVED THREATS TO THE RELATIONSHIP

PASSION & PHYSIOLOGICAL AROUSAL IS A PRIMARY DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTIC OF EARLY ROMANTIC LOVELIKING & LOVING SOMETIMES OVERLAP (E.g. Friendship Component of Love) BUT MAY NOTLONG LASTING ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS LIKELY TO HAVE A STRONG FRIENDSHIP COMPONENT TO THEM

CHARACTERISTICS OF CLOSENESS ARE MORE LIKELY TO CUT ACROSS MANY TYPES OF LIKING AND LOVING RELATIONSHIPS

COMMUNICATING CLOSENESSDIFFICULTY NOT SURPRISING Overlap of features in various types of intimate relationshipsMultiplicity of terms usedPotentially ambiguous referentsAMBIGUITY INHERENT IN DIALOGUE ABOUT INTIMACY CAN BE USEFUL OR PROBLEMATIC

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ASSOCIATE DIFFERENT TYPES OF BEHAVIOR WITH PARTICULAR TYPES OF INTIMACY--E.g.,Husband: I work late because I love you.Wife: You work late because you dont care about our relationship.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE AGREE ON THE TYPE OF BEHAVIOR WHICH CHARACTERIZES A CLOSE RELTIONSHIP, BUT THAT BEHAVIOR IS DESTRUCTIVE--E.g.,Husband: You make and serve me a lot of rich food because you love me.Wife: I agree.