92633475 being with babies what babies want
TRANSCRIPT
www.wondrousbeginnings.com
What Babies Are Teaching UsA Collection
By
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D., R.N.
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McCarty, Wendy Anne.What Babies Are Teaching Us: A Collection/ Wendy Anne McCarty.
First ebook 2005 McCarty Collection, February 6, 2005.
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Copyright 2005 Wendy Anne McCarty. For copies, www.wondrousbeginnings.com.
What Babies Are Teaching UsA Collection
Introduction
Being With Babies Booklet Set
Volume One – An Introduction
Volume Two – Supporting Babies’ Innate Wisdom
The Call To Reawaken and Deepen Our Communications with Babies
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma
The Power of Beliefs
www.wondrousbeginnings.com
Copyright 2005 Wendy Anne McCarty. For copies, www.wondrousbeginnings.com.
Introduction
This collection contains my Being with Babies Booklets and three previously publishedarticles. You will find some overlap in that each publication is an introduction for anew group. Each article brings in new elements as well.
Being With Babies: What Babies Are Teaching UsVolume One & Two
These publications were written in response to parents’ request during theirinvolvement at the BEBA research clinic. I was working therapeutically with infantsand their parents at the BEBA Clinic. Families who had heard of our work, hadchallenging births, or had infants who were showing some stress/trauma symptomsor difficulties would come to the clinic. The agreement was that they would allowtheir sessions to be video recorded and allow the material to be used for researchand educational purposes. We would work with the baby and parents for 10-30sessions until the baby’s stress patterns appeared to be resolved and the familyresourced and ready to complete.
During this time, we were modeling and teaching parents new ways of being withtheir babies that incorporated prenatal and perinatal psychology principles and avariety of therapeutic skills. As we modeled the principles with how we interactedwith their babies, they saw and felt the difference and healing changes in theirbabies. Yet, it was a different orientation that what was in the “mainstream”And they asked if we could write something simple – something that they couldshare with their parents, friends, child caretakers, and other professionals workingwith their families. I wrote these booklets to meet that need. Now they are global.(They are still available in the original gift-quality printed format through mywebsite.) For years, I have wanted to come back to writing more in the series, butinstead, I helped to create the Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. Now, I amcurrently writing a parenting book that will greatly expand these originally publishedprinciples and others as well.
The CALL To Reawaken and Deepen Our Communication with Babies
I wrote this article as I was writing my Welcoming Consciousness book and I beganthe paper much like my book. The article was for the doula community. Often doulaswould say that they intuitively knew or felt some of the principles emerging out ofPPN research, yet because these concepts and principles are still so different than ourcurrent mainstream ideas, they would feel hesitant to “go there” publicly with theirfamilies. I wrote this article to provide information, support, and encouragement toincorporate these ways of perceiving, conceiving and relating with babies into theirpractice.
Copyright 2005 Wendy Anne McCarty. For copies, www.wondrousbeginnings.com.
Introduction
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma
This article was actually assembled by the ISSSEEM staff. They contacted me sayingone of their staff members had heard me present at the 2003 ATLC meeting. Theythought my message and the handout I had provided conference attendees was veryvaluable. They had gone to my website and read Luis’ family story and had put thesetwo pieces together as an article. I revised it slightly, and an article was born. It is agreat little article with a list of prenatal and perinatal psychology (PPN) principles anda list of questions to ask in terms of exploring aspects of early experience. Luis’sstory beautifully portrays key PPN principle and one way to utilize this material withone’s children. It was oriented towards the Subtle Energy and Energy Medicinecommunity.
The Power of Beliefs
This article was based on a presentation I made at the Association of Prenatal andPerinatal Psychology and Health Congress in 2001. The importance of theimplications that young babies already have imprinted behaviors and beliefs wasaddressed in this work and has been a primary theme of mine. It truly changes ourentire understanding of babies and our beliefs about babies as we begin to see thatmany of babies’ behaviors, challenges, and ways of being in the world are reflectionsof what they experienced, imprinted, and learned during the prenatal, birth andnewborn periods. This paper was the beginning of the articulation that has lead tothe integrated model I began to articulate in Welcoming Consciousness (2004).
Thank you for valuing this material and what babies are teaching us.Enjoy.
Wendy Anne McCarty2/6/05
www.wondrousbeginnings.com
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.5662 Calle Real, #221
Goleta, California 93117
CopyrightNovember 19, 1996Revised May 2000
I want to express my gratitude to the families and babies that I havehad the opportunity to work with in the BEBA Clinic and in myprivate practice. Their integrity, courage, love and commitmenthave truly been inspiring. They are the true teachers of what iswritten here.
I want to thank the many teachers that I have had the opportunityto work with and four that have helped me build the foundation formy work today: William Emerson, Ph.D.; Franklyn Sills, R.P.P.;Peter Levine, Ph.D.; and Raymond Castellino, D.C. R.P.P.
I want to thank my friends who believe in the importance of thismessage and who have graciously given me their feedback andsuggestions.
I also want to acknowledge and thank my many beloved friends inspirit. This book is dedicated to Bill, my partner in spirit, whowas devoted to the messages contained in this volume.
The principles and ideas in this booklet areas true for the prenate, the baby being born,
and the newborn as for an older baby.
Babies, children and adults have been telling their stories of what itwas like for them to come into this world - what it was like for thembeing inside their mother’s womb, being born and coming out intothe world with all of us. Over the last thirty years, a new field ofprenatal and birth therapy has developed that focuses on these earlyexperiences. This new therapy is profound and is helping babies,children and adults heal the stress or trauma that may have occurredduring that time. One of the most significant discoveries in this workcomes from babies, children and adults showing us ways of beingwith them that would help them as they come into our world.
If someone has given you this booklet, you probably have a baby inyour life. In this booklet, I share with you some very importantprinciples we are learning from babies about how to help them intheir transition into life. Incorporating these principles into yourrelationship with babies and children can have profound impact.
What we are learning is revolutionizing thefundamental beliefs we have about
prenates and babies and our ways of beingwith babies to support them.
Our experience from the first moments of conception, from the timein the womb and birth itself has profound and lasting impact. Theseearly experiences imprint and establish our core view of the world,our feelings about ourselves, our health, our body, and how weare going to relate to it all. Being a conscious and aware being doesn’tdepend on our brain development or physical body. We come inthat way!
We are the naturally empathic. From the beginning, we are “wired”to be very sensitive, responsive, receptive beings that merge withothers around us, especially mom and dad.
We learn by feeling and experiencing with others and are thereforeaffected by others. And, we learn about who we are by how othersaround us relate to us.
We have been repeatedly awestruck by the level of presence andawareness prenates and babies have. They are able to understandwhat is said to them, follow the meaning of it, and they respondappropriately. They are very sensitive to what we think, feel, sayand do.
Babies are communicating and responding to us and their environ-ment all the time. Their expressions are not random, rather theyare intentional and meaningful. Some expressions are quite overt,while others are very subtle. Babies express themselves through:
Facial expressions.
Eye contact and what they chose to look at.
Where they place their attention – by focusing on somethingor someone in their outer environment or by focusing insidethemselves with closed eyes.
Body language and movement (very important).
Gestures with their hands and feet.
Level of tension or relaxation.
Body rhythms (such as sucking, nursing, and general move-ment tempo).
A good place to begin is to treat the baby as you would want to betreated. One of the basics is that we all want to be included, consid-ered, and responded to. So, imagine how you would want to be re-lated to in a situation. Then check in with the baby’s responses andyou will find if you are on track!
Talk to the baby directly.
Include them in the conversation.
Pause and wait for their response. (This pause is essential.Babies process and respond generally at a much slower pace.)
Acknowledge their response.
Respond appropriately according to their response.
How you relate to the baby does have impact. They are consciousand do understand and have feelings. Treating them with respect,love, understanding, empathy, acknowledgment, and considerationbuilds a positive sense of self and a sense of safety and being loved.
Babies can easily get overwhelmed or overstimulated. These arespecific ways to help babies be able to integrate their experience, tofeel safe, and to build trust.
Slow the pace down. Slow down inside yourself. Fastactions, interactions, and transitions from one thing toanother can easily overwhelm the baby.
Adapt the environment: temperature, lights, sounds, to theircues.
Approach the baby espect for their boundaries and be sen-sitive to their cues.
Ask permission when you sincerely are giving them a choice,such as “Would you like me to hold you?” Then wait for acue from them.
Tell the baby ahead of time what you will be doing orwhat is going to happen, such as:
When you are going to break contact with them and moveyour attention.
When you are going to do something with or for them,e.g. “I’m going to pick you up to change your diapernow.”
When you are about to initiate a transition. This is anespecially important time to tell them about the changeahead of time. For example, Daddy has been playing withbaby and has to leave for work. He might say, “This hasbeen so much fun playing together...and in a fewminutes, I am going to leave for work. I’ll be back laterand we will play more then.”
Notice baby’s reaction to the changes and acknowledgethem. Often our transitions can be too quick for them tointegrate. To acknowledge that and pause helps the baby.
Acknowledge or reflect what the baby is expressing. Thisis so helpful for the baby and a great way to interact withthem, For example, “Oh, you’re reaching out with your hand.I see.”
Tell the baby what you are feeling. If you are around thebaby and are upset about something or are in conflict withsomeone, the baby will naturally pick up on it. It helps themif you identify what’s going on. They often feel it is some-thing they did and so it can be helpful to say something like,“I’m upset about something from work today. It doesn’t haveanything to do with you, but you may feel my upset.”
Babies are exquisitely sensitive. They are also very vulnerable anddependent on us. Babies have fewer means to deal with theirenvironment than we do. For example, they can’t get up and leave asituation that doesn’t feel right for them. They count on us to be assensitive as possible to adapt the environment and interactions tothem. This helps them feel safe and allows them to stay with theirexperience.
For a moment, imagine a time in the past when you felt veryvulnerable and sensitive. From that sensitive place, imagine howyou would want others to be and how you would want yourenvironment to be. In that sensitive place, you can sense and under-stand how easily you can feel overwhelmed and overstimulated.
Some of the cues babies give us that they are overwhelmed or over-stimulated are:
Speeding up and moving more into fussing, upset or crying.
Movements becoming more jerky.
Arching their back and becoming tense, shuttering, or startled.
Moving away from a person or stimulus.
Going inside in attempts to cut off the stimulation, forexample when loud music is playing and the baby appearsto go to sleep.
Looking disoriented or dazed.
Slow down inside yourself.
Check your own tension level and center or relax. Forexample, take several long, slow breaths.
Slow the pace down with the baby by your movements andvoice.
Acknowledge their response of overwhelm or agitation.
Respond to meet their need, if action is called for.
Watch for their response and acknowledge that.
For example, the baby seems to be overwhelmed and younotice the music that is playing is loud and fast. You couldsay to the baby, “Is that music too much right now?..... Letme put something slower on.” (You change the music andthe baby calms.) “Is that better?...Yeah, that was too much,thanks for telling me.”
Some of the things that babies are showing us that they reallyappreciate and that help them are things with which we can allidentify. When we feel someone is being sensitive and responsive toour needs and relating to us as an aware, conscious, and feelingperson, we feel heard, valued, and cared for. When you treat babiesin this way, they grow up feeling heard, valued, and cared for.
Allowing and acknowledging babies’ feelings helps to validate theirexperience. As adults, we know it is healthy to feel a full range offeelings and not feel guilt or shame about having them. We arefinding out how unhealthy it is for ourselves, our bodies, and ourrelationships to stuff feelings. What the babies are teaching us isthat this is also true for them.
We are developing new ideas about protecting babies—protectingtheir right to have their feelings and responses. Again, imagine atime in your past when you felt most heard, most comforted andmost accepted. That probably included having someone with youwho was willing to be with you, acknowledge your feelings andtrust your ability to deal with them; someone who was sensitive,allowing and didn’t judge you.
This is what babies want. Babies have intense feelings and experi-ences. Just like us, they may be expressing their feelings or respond-ing to something happening right in the moment, such as hunger.They may also be expressing or responding to something in theirpast. The prenatal experience and birth can be very intense and of-ten babies are expressing feelings about these early experiences aswell as about their present situation. Many times, something fromthe present will trigger an earlier experience which impacts the waythey feel about or respond to the present situation. Their feelingsalways have meaning. We may not always know the exact meaningof their expressions and responses, yet we can identify with theiremotions and feelings, such as joy, gratitude, sadness, overwhelm,anger, grief, love, fear, trust, etc.
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D. is an author, teacher, and consultant.Dr. McCarty has worked for over twenty five years with families throughvarious avenues-as obstetrical nurse, childbirth educator, marriage andfamily therapist, prenatal and birth therapist and consultant. She has a Ph.D.in Counseling Psychology, MS in Family Studies and Child Development,B.S. in Nursing and training in numerous complementary healing arts andtranspersonal practices.
In 1987, at an APPPAH conference, she was introduced to the new field ofprenatal and birth therapy with infants by William Emerson, Ph.D. andbegan her training and practice in this specialty. In 1993, she and RaymondCastellino, D.C. R.P.P., co-founded the non-profit corporation, BEBA.Dr. McCarty was the first co-executive director of BEBA and a primarytherapist and researcher in the clinic until fall of 1997.
In 1999, Dr. McCarty joined a core team to develop and open the SantaBarbara Graduate Institute. She and Dr. Marti Glenn, President of SBGI,co-founded and co-created the Prenatal and Perinatal Studies Program atthe new institute.
Dr. McCarty has also been involved with consciousness studies andresearch for over two decades. Her work embodies her core perspectivethat we are spiritual consciousness who choose to have human experiencewith purpose and design. Her work incorporates the principles of prenataland birth therapy within a framework emphasizing spiritual perspectivebringing mind-body-spirit together.
Association for Pre-and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH)P.O. Box 1398, Forestville, CA 95436
707-887-2838 www.birthpsychology.com
APPPAH is an educational, non-profit organization dedicated to the in-depthexploration of the psychological, emotional and social development of babiesand parents from preparation for pregnancy through the postpartum period. For16 years, the Association, through its publications and conferences, has broughtpublic attention to the critical influence of the developmental period fromconception to birth. The Association and its members have documented thesentience of prenates and newborn babies and the therapeutic importance of earlyparent-infant relationships.
502 E. Micheltorena, Suite 205Santa Barbara, CA 93103
805-963-6896 www.sbgi.edu
Dr. McCarty co-created and co-developed with SBGI President Dr. Marti Glennthe first graduate degree programs in prenatal and perinatal psychology. SantaBarbara Graduate Institute opens fall, 2000 with four pre-and perinatal degrees.
The Pre- and Perinatal degree programs are designed for those who are inter-ested in the healing arts, education, or work with pregnant women, babies,young children and families and for those who want to incorporate into theirpresent work a more in-depth pre- and perinatal psychology perspective. Thesedegrees provide a solid foundation in pre- and perinatal theory and applicationas well as important counseling and therapeutic skills within a humanistictranspersonal framework. SBGI offers assessable weekend classes withdistinquished leading-edge faculty in Santa Barbara, CA.
Birthing Evolution-Birthing Awareness1105 N. Ontare Road • Santa Barbara, CA 93105 • 805-687-2897
In 1993, Raymond Castellino, D.C., R.P.P. and Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.founded BEBA. BEBA is a non-profit corporation dedicated to exploring anddeveloping how to best welcome human beings into the world and supportbabies to fully actualizing their potential. BEBA provides prenatal and birththerapy for babies and families in the BEBA research clinic. A videoarchives provides practitioners, professionals and community membersan opportunity to learn directly from the babies themselves through tapedtherapy sessions.
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.5662 Calle Real, #221
Goleta, California 93117
Copyright June 1997Revised 2000
I want to thank the families and babies that I have had the opportunityto work with in the BEBA Clinic and in my private practice. Theircourage, integrity, love, and commitment have been truly inspiring.My heart felt gratitude to the babies who are teaching me so muchabout the power and beauty of their innate wisdom.
I want to thank and acknowledge Ray Castellino, D.C., R.P.P., mycolleague and co-therapist at the BEBA clinic. His expertise and ourcreative collaboration have contributed greatly to the fundamentalsof I also want to acknowledge three othercolleagues I have learned greatly from: William Emerson, Ph.D.,Franklyn Sills, R.P.P., and Peter Levine, Ph.D.
I want to thank my friends who have graciously reviewed and helpededit the booklet: Ray, Harvey, Beryl, Ginny, Marsha, Elizabeth, andPeter. Your contributions made a difference. I want to thank Carolfor her graphic design and formatting assistance.
I also want to acknowledge and express my deepest gratitude to mymany beloved friends in spirit, and especially my partner in spirit,Bill. I am so grateful you are a part of my life.
If you have received this booklet, you probably have a baby in yourlife. This booklet contains some important principles we are learn-ing from babies about how to help them in their transition into life.Incorporating these principles into your relationship with babies canhave profound impact.
Since the early 1970’s, prenatal and birth exploration has grownimmensely, revealing profound insights. Babies, children, and adultsalike have been portraying their experiences during conception, inthe womb, being born, and coming out into the world. The similaritiesof stories and information gained from all ages give us a rich newfoundation of understanding early life. The pioneer field of prenataland birth therapy is evolving from this foundation and focuses onhelping babies, children, and adults heal early stress or trauma,thereby, dramatically enhancing their well-being and future.
This booklet series explores new beliefs about who we are from thebeginning of life and ways of being with babies that would be mosthelpful to them as they come into our world. The principles andideas in this booklet are as true for the prenate, the baby being born,and the newborn, as for an older baby and child.
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In booklet, I introduced many of theimportant principles we are learning from babies. This booklet buildson the foundation of For those of you who may have beengiven this booklet first, let me briefly highlight a few key conceptsdiscussed in
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In this booklet, I suggest at certain places for you to pause andexplore something for yourself. These experiences can deepen theunderstanding and the feeling sense of what is written here.
In this booklet, I share in more depth, four key ways we can helpbabies be and grow into the most healthy, happy, and whole peoplethey can be. I include some examples to help bring the principlesand ideas come together and become more real and alive.
Let’s start by exploring some of the qualities of a healthy, happy,and whole person. In other words:
A common thread woven through most discussions of isthat the whole person is in relationship with, to, and living from, aconnected place inside themselves. There are many names given tothis place inside:
I use the name You may like a different name:
_____________________________________________
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The following are qualities of being connected to and living fromour Authentic Being that I imagine and experience. I state them inthe ideal, yet I know that we are real and human also. We come andgo from this state of being. When we are in the flow of this state ofbeing:
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In the rest of the booklet, we will explore four key ways you canhelp. As a prenatal and birth therapist, I work with prenates,newborns, babies, and their parents. Babies have been consistentlyshowing us the power of these four ways of helping. These ways arepart of the foundation we use for helping babies heal stress andtrauma and to grow from their innate wisdom. For many of thefamilies, we have worked with, it has become a way of life – notonly with their baby, but with themselves and others of all ages.
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Most people in Western cultures have not considered babies to becapable of understanding others and expressing themselves. Mostpeople have not believed that babies are that conscious. This isreally a whole new orientation! You may wish to reread the beliefshighlighted on page two of this booklet and consider their signifi-cance. When we hold these beliefs, we are also assuming that, fromthe beginning of life, prenates and babies already have an AuthenticBeing and an innate wisdom.
The beliefs we hold about prenates and babies form the basis forour attitudes, thoughts, feelings, decisions, choices and actions inour world. Consequently, these beliefs color every aspect of ourinteractions with prenates and babies, and profoundly impact theirfeelings and beliefs about themselves.
For example, one new father told me that during the first part of hiswife’s pregnancy he never thought of directly communicating withthe baby. He was very excited about having their first child and talkeda lot about the baby to others. He just never thought that his babywas capable of understanding what he said.
Then he read that babies are conscious from the beginning of life.He began talking his baby. One evening while talking to the baby,he felt the baby move in response to his words. Itwas a precious moment for him. He really understood that the babywas communicating with him! That was a turning point for him.
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Each day, he would look forward to coming home and spendingtime with his wife and baby inside – talking and playing together.Communicating daily with their baby became a new way of life.One night, they went to a movie that ended up being violent. Theirbaby was very active inside, in an agitated way. They decided toleave. As soon as they were in the car, they explained to their babytheir concern for the baby and why they left. The baby calmed andsettled inside.
These parents' new beliefs opened the door for new experiences andtheir new experiences with their baby opened the door for newerbeliefs. Their beliefs shaped their attitudes, thoughts, feelings,decisions, choices, and their actions.
Our holding these new beliefs and images of them helps prenates,babies, and children (and adults) to stay connected with theirAuthentic Being and to function from their innate wisdom. Thisvision supports their developing these beliefs and images of them-selves.
Setting our intentions to interact with babies from our new beliefsabout them, will set in motion our For example, as atherapist working with babies, I hold the belief that babies will showme what they want help with, to grow, learn, and heal. I set thatintention in order to be available to them, to be receptive to theircommunications, and to hold their communications to be meaningful.In this way, the baby’s communication guides my interaction withthem.
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Prenates and babies are developing their beliefs about themselvesand about the world from the moment of conception. These beliefsare imprinted into their being. It is a time to have an incrediblywonderful impact on them. It is an
In I discussed many specific waysof interacting with babies to help them. In the remainder of this booklet,I will suggest more. Still, it is such a reorientation for many people,you may wonder what it looks, sounds, or feels like. How do youinteract or be in relationship with babies in this new way? It mayfeel like a voyage into uncharted territory. If you have the map ofthese beliefs and set your intention to relate to prenates and babiesfrom there – they will show you the way – they can be your guide.You will see them respond and the words presented here will
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Babies need our help. When we realize how conscious, sensitive,and aware they are and how impressionable their early experienceis, the importance of helping them maintain their sacred space andthe safety they feel within it, becomes so clear. They are dependenton us to be sensitive and willing to help keep them safe. Our doingso allows them to blossom within a cocoon of love, respect, andsecurity, without having to become specialists in
Protecting babies’ sacred space involves respecting their boundaries.So many emotional problems, mental illness, violence, territorialwars, and more are rooted in our early intrusive experiences. Babiesare not able to prevent or stop frightening or painful events or inter-actions. A lack of understanding and empathy from others can leadthem to feel objectified and isolated. The implications for thisimprinting are staggering. During the therapy we do, we see theimpact of unresolved stress and trauma on the babies’ and parents’lives. We also see the enormous positive and healing impact thatthese new beliefs and interactions can have. That is why I believe sostrongly in interacting with babies in a way that affirms theirAuthentic Being and fully respects their awareness and sensitivity.In this way, we support individual health, happiness, and whole-ness. We promote world peace and cooperation.
One way to help prenates, newborns, and babies thrive is to besensitive to their communications and to take care with how weapproach and interact with them. They show us when somethingfeels right or not. Babies communicate through voice, overt andsubtle body movements and rhythms, and emotional expressions.
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A friend of mine recently told me how he understood this idea. Heimagined approaching an animal in the wild, especially a babyanimal. He would approach quietly and read their cues of disruptionor fight-flight that approaching them may create. He would let theanimal show him if it was O.K. to come closer and how they wouldlike him to interact. These images enabled him to learn babies’ cuesand to give the babies the same respect he gave the animals.
Prenates and newborns, as well as older babies, react protectively totheir space being invaded. They show us in similar ways as do adults.The following are some distress responses babies may have to adisruption in their sacred space. Babies may:
These responses are ways that babies ask us to help them reestab-lish their sacred space.
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When babies want us to come closer, they often will:
Sometimes, babies exhibit a combination of come closer and go awaysigns as they negotiate what feels right to them. We all have experi-enced that relationship scenario of:
This is the dance of relationship! The respectful dance is a vital partof the therapy I do with babies. Here is an example of theseprinciples in action. A five month old baby, Alex, and his parentscome in for a therapy session. The parents have already learned thatslowing themselves down and going slow with their baby helps himto orient and feel safe. So, they come into the office slowly. I standstill, rather than approach, and greet the baby and parents from adistance. I slow myself down. I watch the baby for cues. On this day,Alex seems agitated and wary. I acknowledge that, saying slowly,“Oh yeah, you are just gett ing here...maybe feeling a bitunsure?...Yeah.” I see him holding tightly onto Mom. I say, “That’sright, you can hold onto Mom...I’m going to stay right over here...andthere is nothing that you have to do right now.” The mother knowsthat telling Alex what she is going to do ahead of time helps him feelsafer so she says to her baby, ”Alex, I’m going to move over to thecouch to sit down. You can stay right here with me.”
We try not to have too many things happening at once, so we wait tostart talking. The parents sit on the couch. The baby seems to berelaxing more and begins to smile at me. I say, ”Alex, I’m going tocome over there (pointing to a spot between us) to sit down. If that
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feels too close, let me know and I’ll move back.” I move closer andhe starts to turn into Mom with his body. I say, “Oh, that was tooclose? Thanks for telling me. Let me move back. How’s that?” Inotice him soften and turn back to look at me. I focus on settlingwithin myself, making eye contact with him, and say slowly, “ It isimportant to me that you feel safe here. I appreciate you letting meknow when something isn’t right for you.” I pause and keep thecontact with Alex. Then I say, “I’m going to move my attention andsay hello to Mom and Dad now.“ I pause and then make contactwith Alex’s parents. Alex starts to relax more and feel safe.
Parents often ask how to help their baby during a situation that bynature may be invasive or scary, for example, medical proceduresor interventions. The following is a story of how a mother helpedher baby during a potentially traumatic invasion of the baby’ssacred space. With sensitivity and care, she helped her baby feelincluded and allowed the baby the opportunity to take an activerole. The baby responded by cooperating, thereby, increasing thesafety of the procedure.
The mother was pregnant and was going to have an amniocentesis.(In an amniocentesis, a needle is inserted into the amniotic sac of theyoung prenate to withdraw fluid. The doctor uses an ultrasoundimage to help safely guide the needle to avoid the baby). She wasplanning on having the baby whatever the test outcomes, but forpersonal reasons wanted to have the information. During the weekprior to the amniocentesis, the mother communica ted withwords and images to the baby about the test – why she was goingto have it and what was going to happen. She repeated this processseveral times. When she went to have the procedure, she asked the
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doctor to tell her before the needle was inserted. At that moment,the mother told the baby that the needle was about to come in. Sheand the doctor watched on the ultrasound monitor and saw the babymove to one side of the womb and remain still. After the needle wasremoved, the baby began moving again. Her baby had understoodand had responded by protecting himself and by cooperating.
Prenates and babies are establishing the imprinting that will deter-mine how they view themselves and their world. Feeling thatothers are sensitive to and respectful of their sacred space profoundlyimpacts their future.
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When we work with babies in our clinic, we are conscious of howwe focus our attention, which helps babies stay relaxed, present,and in their body. You, too, can help them tremendously by learningto focus in this way.
People are always moving their attention, as in surfing the television,radio, or the Internet. We flow moment to moment, shifting ourfocus from one thing to another. Sometimes, we do this uncon-sciously. By using our intention, however, we can choose what wewant to focus on.
For example, a baby appears to be sleeping in her mother’s arm.The mother is watching her baby and is focusing her gaze at herbaby – enjoying the peaceful, sweet moment. The mother suddenlyrealizes she forgot to do something she said she would do that day.She looks up at the clock to check the time, and her daughter startles.Her daughter is reacting to her sudden shift in focus and emotionalstate.
Often in therapy sessions, a parent will be interacting with their baby,having eye contact, touch, and The parentthen shifts to talk to me, moving their attention suddenly away fromthe baby. This may be a natural movement to the adult, yet, manybabies feel this as a disruption. They may stir, startle, or start to cry.
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The parent may wonder what is wrong, not realizing the impact theunannounced and sudden shift in their attention has had on theirbaby.
Babies have consistently shown us how sensitive they are to atten-tion shifts. Adults may relate to this by imagining being in the flowof a nice conversation on the telephone, only to have the connectionsuddenly gone.
When working with families, I suggest to parents that they:
Keep contact with baby.
Tell the baby ahead of time, if they are going tobreak contact.
Pause to let baby catch up.
Then shift their attention.
You will be amazed at the powerful impact this one change can have.Your baby will be reassured that you are aware of their sensitivityand can communicate clearly with them.
Prenates and babies will understand when you let them know whatis going to happen. For example, let’s say you are having contactwith your baby and the doorbell rings. They may startle. You saywhile looking at them, “That’s the doorbell sound you hear...I’mgoing to get up to see who is here.” Pause... Keep in contact with thebaby while you let them catch up. Then say, “O.K. I’m getting upnow.”
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Babies are great teachers in helping to raise our consciousness ofhow we move our attention! (Most adults love to receive that muchconscious care themselves!)
Another subtle, yet powerful way to help babies maintain theirsacred space involves where we place our attention in relationshipto ourselves. Are we coming from our center within ourselves orsomewhere outside ourselves? Most of us know a lot about func-tioning from outside ourselves! The following guided imagery isdesigned to help you understand and experience the inside or out-side concept.
First find a quiet spot, relax, and settle yourself down. When youfeel quiet inside, read and imagine the three scenarios below slowenough to notice your responses to each.
Imagine sitting at a restaurant having lunch with a friendor co-worker. They are giving you their attention, but for somereason, you feel like squirming. Something feels too close. You feel aneed for more space between you. You may feel slightly tired oranxious. You notice yourself leaning back in the chair with your handgripping the chair’s arm. You are edgy and can’t quite figure outwhy. What do you feel in your body as you are imaging this? Whenready, let the image and sensations go.
Imagine yourself at the same table with a differentperson. They are moving their attention all over the place. They keepforgetting what you are telling them. One moment they are withyou, then they are not. They interrupt you and don’t seem to notice.Feeling frustrated, you want to get the check and get out of there.
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Notice what you feel in your body while you imagine this. Whenready, let these images and sensations go.
Imagine being at the table with yet another person. Theyare giving you their attention, are present and soft at the same time.You feel relaxed and are really enjoying the contact and the momenttogether. You are comfortable with this person. It’s one of those
moments. Notice the sensations in your body.
What’s the difference between these three scenarios?
Here’s my assessment and response to the three scenarios:
This person is falling into me with their attention andenergy field. I’m feeling that they are too close. “You are in my space!”My natural defensive movement is to try to create the distance thatis more comfortable for me.
This person is not centered. Their focus, their attention,and energy field is scattered all over the place, creating a chaoticfeeling. They are not very present. I don’t feel very attended to norsafe to share much of myself with them.
This person has their attention and focus well plantedwithin their own body and space.
I feel their presence. They are not spaced out, outside theirbody, nor falling into my space. They are demonstrating the
I feel relaxed and present myself and enjoy beingwith them.
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The quality of experiences with these three people is very different.I suspect your responses and body sensations are different as well.Most of us can also relate to being like these people. Do you everfeel yourself falling into someone, scattered all over the place, orpeacefully centered?
Now imagine how the use of our attention impacts babies who arenaturally connected to us. Being centered and having our attentioncome from within us is tremendously helpful to them. Babies canresonate with our centeredness, which helps them experience theirown. Also, by being within ourselves, babies’ sacred space is main-tained, providing them with a feeling of safety which they need tostay with their own experience.
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Parents often share that learning to slow the pace or tempo down isa major key for themselves and their babies. Prenates and babiesneed a slower pace than adults in order to integrate their experienceand to not become overwhelmed or overstimulated. Most of us havelearned how to function at a pretty fast pace. In fact, I believe thatmost of us have lived in an overwhelmed and overstimulated statemuch of our lives. We have learned to cope and adapt so that it hasbecome the norm. For many, slowing down can feel uncomfortable.Yet, we are hearing and reading more and more about how slowingdown, learning to relax, meditating, doing yoga, or working in ourgarden, can help our body and our mind. It can help us becomemore connected to our Authentic Being and produce a sense ofwarmth and well-being. Though previously valued much more inEastern cultures, Westerners now seem to be yearning for the abilityto relax, and to connect with themselves and the divine.
Babies are powerful teachers. Even though I do yoga, meditate, andvalue being in a state of quiet presence, I have learned new depthsof slowing myself down by being with babies. With each new levelof slowing down, babies reveal more of their abilities to access theirself-healing potential and innate wisdom.
Parents often are not accustomed to slowing down as much as wedo in therapy with their babies. They can become quite sleepy duringthe initial therapy sessions and sometimes nod off! By the end oftherapy, however, these same parents are able to slow themselvesdown, stay awake, and be present. They understand how slowingdown within themselves makes such a difference in their ability andtheir babies’ ability to be more present.
23
If babies have experienced stress or trauma, which most of us have,the imprinted pattern tends to be one of speed up. The fight/flightresponses in their body were stimulated during the stress or traumaand the propensity for repeating those responses remains higher.These babies will tend to speed up and become upset, agitated, afraid,and tearful more easily. We observe that this speed up can contributeto what we label as colic, constipation, inability to nap or sleep,breastfeeding problems, or
In therapy, we purposely slow down the pace to help babiesrenegotiate or repattern their tendency to speed up.
The art of learning to be relaxed, present, and in your body whilethe baby is crying and upset is the Consider whatthe stewardess requests at the beginning of a plane flight. Sheexplains that, as caretaker of a small child, you should put the maskon yourself first to ensure you are able to then put one on your child!
When you feel yourself accelerating, getting anxious, having yourattention fall into the baby, or getting scattered:
Pause.
Acknowledge what is happening for you and foryour baby.
Slow down.
Notice where your attention is and bring it backwithin yourself.
Reorient and relate from this place with yourbaby.
Then acknowledge to the baby what is happening.
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The key concept here is that the more we learn how to be present,relaxed, and centered in our own bodies, the more babies can thenstay oriented, connected, and present with theirs. When babies arein that slowed down, they have fuller access totheir innate wisdom.
Babies are incredible teachers because by helping them, we learnmore about ourselves. We learn how to live within our innate wisdomand from our Authentic Being. The suggestions in this booklet arekey ways to help. They are meant as a guide to explore and to learn.
Avery’s grandfather tells a wonderful story that sums up the mainpoints of this booklet. Avery and his parents are a part of the BEBAresearch study. Avery completed the prenatal and birth therapyprocess, graduating several months prior to the time of this story.During Avery’s therapy, his grandfather, so moved by the healingimpact of these principles had, made a commitment to relearn howto be with his grandson. Here in his own words is a story of he andAvery:
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We began this booklet looking at new beliefs regarding howconscious and aware we are from the very beginning of life. Weexplored how we want to help babies experience and grow. Wediscussed the qualities of living from our Authentic Being and whatit means to live from our innate wisdom. We then explored importantways you can help babies feel safe, protected, respected, and loved,which in turn, will support their growing from within – in touchwith their innate wisdom.
Now it is time to leave. After setting this booklet down, let yourselfjust be with what has been stirred within you. Allow yourself toexperiment with your baby in this new way and let them teach you.They are the real guides of this new world.
with love,
Wendy
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Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D. is an author, teacher, and consultant.Dr. McCarty has worked for over twenty five years with families throughvarious avenues-as obstetrical nurse, childbirth educator, marriage andfamily therapist, prenatal and birth therapist and consultant. She has a Ph.D.in Counseling Psychology, MS in Family Studies and Child Development,B.S. in Nursing and training in numerous complementary healing arts andtranspersonal practices.
In 1987, at an APPPAH conference, she was introduced to the new field ofprenatal and birth therapy with infants by William Emerson, Ph.D. andbegan her training and practice in this specialty. In 1993, she and RaymondCastellino, D.C. R.P.P., co-founded the non-profit corporation, BEBA.Dr. McCarty was the first co-executive director of BEBA and a primarytherapist and researcher in the clinic until fall of 1997.
In 1999, Dr. McCarty joined a core team to develop and open the SantaBarbara Graduate Institute. She and Dr. Marti Glenn, President of SBGI,co-founded and co-created the Prenatal and Perinatal Studies Program atthe new institute.
Dr. McCarty has also been involved with consciousness studies andresearch for over two decades. Her work embodies her core perspectivethat we are spiritual consciousness who choose to have human experiencewith purpose and design. Her work incorporates the principles of prenataland birth therapy within a framework emphasizing spiritual perspectivebringing mind-body-spirit together.
To order booklets and other publicationsby Dr. McCarty,
Visit: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
Printed Booklets on Pastel Linen AvailableBeautiful Gifts for New Families
For the sake of our babies,For the sake of ourselves,For the sake or our families & communities,For the sake of the world,Read and be nourished by these wonderful booklets.
Peter A. Levine, Ph.D.Author, Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma: The InnateCapacity to Transform Overwhelming Experience
Dr. McCarty is available for private consultations forfamilies and professionals who want personal assistancein incorporating these and other ways to deepencommunication with and support babies to flourish. Someparents and babies may want help to heal unresolvedgrief, stress, and trauma. Common behavioral cues ofbabies that indicate need for help are patterns ofdifficulty associated with sleep, transitions, feeding,settling and regulating their state of being, andseparation reactions.
To inquire about a personal consultation with Dr.McCarty, email: [email protected].
www.wondrousbeginnings.com
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our Communication
With Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Compelling Findings from Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology
By
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D., R.N.
WB Publication eDocument Usage AgreementOne PDF file of document, one printed copy.
Please do not distribute additional copies to others.Support this work by referring them to:
www.wondrousbeginnings.com
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Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
2
“They don’t think I’m a person. I know I am.”
This experience and statement captures a core theme echoed
throughout decades of clinical reports from the field of prenatal and
perinatal psychology. This particular statement comes from Emily under
hypnosis as she described her experience in the newborn nursery to Dr.
David Chamberlain (1999, p. 80). Over thirty years of clinical and
research findings indicate babies are much more conscious and aware and
able to communicate more meaningfully and learn more intensely from
the beginning of life than traditionally thought.
In this DONA article, I would like to introduce the emerging field of
prenatal and perinatal psychology and seven key principles and clinical
findings that directly affect our practices supporting families and babies.
Often when I share this material with professionals such as doulas, they
relate that they have “intuitively known” or have already been working
from some of these principles. Yet many professionals have also confessed
to being hesitant to openly incorporate these principles into their
interactions with babies and parents because they challenge traditionally
held beliefs about babies and may appear “too far out.” My hope is to
support you and give more examples of practices and ways of being with
babies that incorporate these key principles.
The Field of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology
Two professionals instrumental in the founding of this field during
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
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the 1970’s and 1980’s were Thomas Verny, M.D., and David Chamberlain,
Ph.D. In the 1970’s, Dr. Verny became intensely interested in the mind of
the unborn and newborn child and traveled to meet others researching
this area. Dr. Chamberlain began utilizing hypnosis with his clients and
was surprised that many of them spontaneously went to and described
their prenatal and birth experiences while in trance. During the 1970’s
and 1980’s, Drs. Verny and Chamberlain, along with other
psychotherapists and physicians from various parts of the world, began
sharing reports of their adult clients’ birth experience recalls. They were
finding that many adult problems appeared to originate, to their own
surprise, during their clients’ early experiences in the womb and during
birth. They reported that working with the original early experience often
resulted in dramatic relief and resolution of the clients’ presenting
problems.
Dr. Verny’s book, The Secret Life of the Unborn Child (1981), broke
new ground and is considered to mark the “conception” of what would
later become the field of prenatal and perinatal psychology (Chamberlain,
2000). Dr. Chamberlain’s book, Babies Remember Birth (1988), opened
up new territory with his clinical research findings revealing the reliability
of birth memories.
By the late 1980’s, prenatal and perinatal psychology had expanded
into a multidisciplinary field “dedicated to the in-depth exploration of the
psychological dimension of human reproduction and pregnancy and the
mental and emotional development of the unborn and newborn child”
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
4
(Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health’s purpose
statement). The field focuses on both the prenatal and birth process and
experience directly, as well as the understanding and treatment of
children, adolescents, and adults exhibiting constrictive-to-traumatic
patterns rooted in their prenatal and perinatal experience.
There are two core professional organizations in the field, each
publishing their own journal. The American organization, The Association
of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH), publishes the
Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health. The European
organization, The International Society of Prenatal and Perinatal
Psychology and Medicine (ISPPPM), publishes the International Journal of
Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine.
I was first introduced to the field in 1988 when I attended a
conference sponsored by what is now APPPAH. Even though I had worked
with families having babies since the early 1970’s as an obstetrical nurse,
a childbirth educator, and as a marriage and family therapist, I was
stunned by what I learned and experienced at the conference. It changed
my perceptions and conceptions of babies and our earliest experiences. It
changed me. It changed my life.
Although I had a great deal of relevant education, a BSN in Nursing,
a master’s in Child Development, and a doctorate in Counseling
Psychology, as well as fifteen years of experience working with families, a
very different picture of early development was being presented. What
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
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made it so different? This group had been mapping out our earliest
development from the baby’s point of view!
Researchers and clinicians had been gathering reports of adults
remembering, re-experiencing, and healing issues pertaining to their
prenatal and birth experiences. Various methods were utilized such as
hypnosis, holotropic breathwork, various regression techniques, and
spontaneous entry into the earliest experiences. As the reports, research,
and clinical findings were shared and cross-referenced, significant trends
and patterns were discovered. It became evident that our experiences in
the womb and at birth had powerful influences on our behavior, health,
psyche, and how we function in the world. Not only did these influences
affect us during infancy and childhood, but also throughout adulthood!
Prenatal and perinatal psychology was giving us an inside view of how we
experience and are affected by a multitude of factors from pre-conception,
life in the womb, birth and bonding, and the newborn period. Greater
understanding of potential life-long effects, a new appreciation for the
needs of babies, ways to prevent life-constricting patterns, and new
recommendations to support babies and families emerged as a result of
this research.
At that conference, I attended a presentation by Dr. William
Emerson on his pioneering psychotherapy work with young babies to heal
birth trauma. Not only had he had been working with prenatal and
perinatal material with adults for two decades, he also had worked with
children to identify signs and symptoms of prenatal and birth trauma and
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
6
therapeutic interventions suitable for children. During this period, a friend
whose baby was in the NICU after a very difficult birth asked him if he
could help her baby. He didn’t know if he could, but he worked with their
baby and she improved. He was subsequently inspired to work with babies
and developed the subspecialty of therapeutic interventions during infancy
and early childhood to resolve prenatal and birth trauma.
I trained with Dr. Emerson and began working with young children
in 1990. In 1994, Ray Castellino, D.C., and I co-founded BEBA, a
nonprofit research clinic, to work with families and young babies in
treating early trauma and to explore the implications of this work
(www.beba.org). I often use the phrase “What Babies Are Teaching Us” in
my seminar titles and publications because they truly have taught me a
whole new level of possibility in being with babies.
In 1999, I joined Marti Glenn, Ph.D., and others to create and open
Santa Barbara Graduate Institute with the first master’s and doctoral
degrees in our specialty, Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology. Program
instructors include Marshall Klaus, M.D., Phyllis Klaus, MFT, Thomas
Verny, M.D., David Chamberlain, Ph.D., William Emerson, Ph.D., Ray
Castellino, D.C., and I, among others. Students are now beginning their
doctorate research and will be making significant contributions to research
in the field. In conjunction with the institute, I now provide continuing
education seminars that are “primers” for professionals to reap the
benefits from the decades of research in this vital field.
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
7
Seven Key Principles from Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology
Now that you have a brief orientation to our field and my
background, let us turn to what I consider to be seven key principles that
emerge from the field’s research.
1. We are sentient beings–conscious and aware from the
beginning of life.
2. Our ability to transmit and receive communication during the
prenatal and perinatal period is much greater than traditionally
thought.
3. During our gestation, birth, and early infancy stages, we learn
intensely and are exquisitely sensitive to our environment and
relationships. During this period we form a foundational
blueprint for life based on these early experiences. This
blueprint becomes the infrastructure from which we grow and
experience life—physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally,
and spiritually.
4. Our early experiences become part of our implicit memory
reflected in our subconscious and in our autonomic functioning.
These affect us below the level of our conscious awareness and
directly shape our very perceptions and conceptions of “reality.”
5. Young babies already show us their established life patterns
developed in utero and during their birth. The majority of
babies born in the US show signs of stress or traumatic
imprinting.
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
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6. Many of the needs we have considered essential for healthy
development during infancy and childhood are needs we have
from the beginning of life: To be wanted, welcomed, safe,
nourished, seen, heard, included, and communicated with as
the sentient beings we are.
7. Communicating with babies in the womb, during birth, and the
newborn period and directly including them so that they feel
“we are doing this together” is one of the most powerful tools
we have to help babies—especially when there are difficulties or
medical interventions.
Each of these principles can be understood and appreciated at many
levels. For instance, what does our sentient nature really mean? How does
that change how we support babies and teach parents? After fifteen years in
the field, I am continually deepening and expanding my understanding. In the
remaining portion of this article, I would like to give a few examples of the
principles and their implications and recommendations for working with
babies.
Principles Illustrated
Let us return to the quote at the beginning of this article, “They don’t
think I’m a person. I know I am.” This poignant statement by a woman
relating her experience in the newborn nursery under hypnosis is a very
commonly reported one in prenatal and perinatal oriented work. Her
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
9
statement and perspective illustrates that we have a sense of self as we enter
life and that we have meaningful memory of our experiences.
Chamberlain’s study, “Reliability of birth memory: Observation from
mother and child pairs in hypnosis” has become a classic in our field
(1988, 1999). Many of the narrative descriptions of these memories can
be found in his book Babies Remember Birth (1988).
In his study, Chamberlain hypnotized children (ages 9-23) and their
mothers separately and asked them to describe their birth experiences.
He then compared the coherency of the child and mother’s memory of the
birth. (Pairs chosen included only children who had not been told the
details of their birth and who had no conscious memory of their birth.)
He found that the independent narrative matched exactly at many points
and dovetailed in an interlocking pattern at other points with the baby
having its own experiences. Rarely was there a contradiction and when
there was one, it had a different quality, one of fantasy rather than
reported memory. Chamberlain concluded, “The content of birth memories
suggests a sophisticated level of physical, mental and emotional
consciousness at birth, beyond anything predicted by developmental
psychology” (1999, p. 26).
Chamberlain reported that the narratives from the children revealed
accurate reports of: time of day, locale, individuals present, verbatim
recollections of events outside the womb, paranormal knowledge of
unspoken thoughts of others, knowledge of type of delivery, instruments
used, room layouts, sequencing of events, and detailed images of outside
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Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
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the womb while baby was still in the womb. Here is an example of what a
mother and child each separately reported of a situation soon after the
birth. Notice how literal the memory is:
Child says, “Mother is talking and playing with me. There is ahassle about the name. Mother didn’t like V. or G. but daddy did.”Mother says, “I’m tickling and playing with her, stroking her. There isa disagreement about the name for the baby. I don’t like V. or G. butprefer Mary K. (1999, p. 23)
What is worth highlighting is that the types of accurate reports
Chamberlain found in this study have been also been reported by many
other researcher and clinicians.
There is evidence to suggest that not only do we have a full sense of
self and have memory of our experiences, but that we are also very
sensitive to events occurring at the time of our birth, as well as the
emotional states and intentions of those who are present. This is evident in
the following story told by the mother of six-year-old Evan:
Evan’s mother asks her six year old, “Do you remember your birth?”He replies, “Sure.” She tries to hide her surprise, and asks, “What doyou remember?” Evan puts his hands up on the sides of his head andsays, “It was really dark and smoochy. It really hurt my head. Then Icame out and they handed me to dad. Then dad came to you…didyou love me?” She felt a dread. She had felt very guilty that when hewas born and brought to her, she was still in so much pain as theepisiotomy was repaired that she could not even look at her newbornand had told her husband to take him. She had never told anyoneabout this because she judged herself harshly for that moment. Shethen told her son the truth about that moment and said that laterwhen they brought him to her, she fell in love with him. She told himhow sorry she was if he felt not loved in that first moment. He said,“Okay” and changed the subject. (McCarty, 2004)
In this example Evan demonstrates a sense of self and other as a newborn,
remembers sensations, sequences of events, and was left with a question
about his mother’s feelings towards him from his newborn memory.
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
11
Vinnie’s story also portrays several of the key principles. His mother,
Rachel, related to me that when Vinnie was three years old, he would cry and
have tantrums when she left him at preschool. She related that he was really
upset that she wasn’t going to come back, and she wasn’t really sure why he
was having such intense reactions.
Rachel was a also a midwife and said that during this period she had a
class in which the midwifery instructor, Karen Strange, discussed how
conscious babies are at birth and how difficulties at birth may affect them
later. Rachel decided to talk with Vinnie about his difficult birth and newborn
period. She told me that she talked with him about how they were separated
after his birth and that he had some breathing difficulty and was kept in the
nursery under an oxygen hood for several hours. She told me that as she was
telling him about how she was sorry they were separated and that that might
have been scary for him, he chimed in with, “Yeah, I didn’t like that. I didn’t
think you were going to come back. I didn’t know if you were going to come
back.”
Rachel went on to say,
…so, we talked about that and I thought maybe it must feel likethat when he went to school and he wasn’t sure I was going tocome back. He said, “Yeah, I wasn’t sure you were going to comeback”. So in just talking about it, it seemed like he was sort ofrelieved to be able to say ‘yeh-that is what I am feeling,’ eventhough he might not have been able to have the words for it. Heseemed relieved, glad that somebody acknowledged that that waskind of scary for him, or painful, or hard. He really seemed afterthat to be able to separate from me more easily and having talkedabout how I was going to come back and that I would always comeback for him was something he really needed to hear.
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Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
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Vinnie’s story portrays how conscious, aware, and affected he was by
the separation with his mom after his birth. It also illustrates how some event
during the birth and newborn period can become a traumatic imprint, part of
the foundational blueprint that affects how later events can trigger an intense
return to the original feelings and fears.
In both of these examples, the mothers illustrate several principles of
communication that supported their children.
• They appreciated and respected their child’s memory and reaction to
events during and after their birth.
• They were honest in talking about what happened and had a sense of
empathy and compassion for their child’s perspective.
• Vinnie’s mother saw the relationship between her son’s newborn
experience and his intense reaction at preschool and was able to help
him understand himself and the circumstances better.
Daniel Siegel, M.D., and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed., in their book
Parenting from the Inside Out (2003), discuss the importance of having a
coherent narrative, a coherent sense of our childhood events and
experiences. As human beings, we have a need to understand and resolve
intense or traumatic events in our lives. I find this is true from the
beginning of life.
I hope these examples support your intuitive knowing and your own
ways of working with families. Although this article only briefly introduces
prenatal and perinatal psychology and key principles, I have included a
selected bibliography to help you explore these issues in more depth. My
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
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publications, Being with babies: What babies are teaching us-Booklets I & II,
are brief introductions of these concepts and practical ways of implementing
them intended for parents and caretakers. (Look for a book version in 2005.)
Each of my papers and my book contain more stories that bring life to the
clinical research findings. My continuing education classes are another avenue
to learn more from this exciting field of prenatal and perinatal psychology and
how to incorporate these principles in working with families.
Recommendations
The evidence emerging out of prenatal and perinatal psychology and
clinical practice indicate that we have a sense of self as we enter form and
that we want and need to be communicated with and included. I highly
encourage practitioners and parents to communicate directly with the baby
and be responsive to the baby’s communication with them from the beginning
of life. The more you as practitioners do this, the more natural is will be for
parents to do this.
The evidence suggests we are natural telepaths as we enter human
form. Babies read and are affected by peoples’ thoughts, feelings, and
intentions. Telepathic communication is prevalent at the beginning of life. As
their bodies and brains grow, their communication grows to include
movement, gestures, vocalizations, and the communication dance between
baby and other becomes a synchrony of mind-body-spirit expressions. I find
when we do this throughout the prenatal period, there is already a closeness
and clarity of communication that positively affects the birth and bonding.
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
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In many indigenous cultures, telepathic communication is as natural a
way of communicating as verbal language. Unfortunately, in our modern
Western world, as our views of early development became so grounded in
only our biological human nature, our sentient spiritual nature and mind-to-
mind communication was denied or discounted. Recently, I had a sad
reminder in my private practice of this.
A woman came to see me two months after her baby died in utero at
37 weeks gestation. She related that she had a sense something was not
okay yet did not trust it. One day, she thought the baby was clearly
communicating to her that she (the baby) needed help. That evening, she felt
the baby communicate that “she was hanging on.” She told me she hesitated
in trusting that that was truly her baby communicating to her and said, “How
could I call the doctor and tell him my baby said she is in trouble?” She felt
they would have thought her “loony.” Sadly, during a routine ultrasound the
next morning, the horror unfolded as they saw the baby had her cord
wrapped around her neck three times. Within an hour, the baby was dead.
This young mother felt tremendous pain about “not listening to her daughter’s
call for help.” This is a very sad story, one that motivated me to write this
article to support professionals and parents in trusting their inner knowing
and intuition and in reawakening and deepening our communications with
babies once again.
As birth doulas, you are in the central position of supporting mom,
baby, and dad. Just as you would support mom with your presence, your
encouragement, physical comforts, and by interfacing with staff to be
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
15
sensitive to the needs and rhythms of the mother, supporting babies
consciously in similar ways is tremendously helpful. Babies love to know you
know how hard they are working, what they are going through, and that they
are not alone. When interventions are going to be made, orienting and talking
them through it in a manner similar to how you would interact with the
mothers is very therapeutic for babies. Many times, things don’t go
“perfectly” during the birth. I find babies are like all of us—going through
difficulties and potentially traumatic events IN RELATIONSHIP prevents
traumatic imprinting. Just as the research demonstrates how beneficial the
presence and support of the doula is to mom’s outcome. I also see the same
potential for the positive impact of acting as a doula for the baby by
supporting them in the birth process. Not only can you prevent potential
traumatic imprinting, you are helping them build a foundational blueprint for
future life challenges, e.g., a belief such as “even when things get tough, I
am never alone.” That is a precious gift.
Many ask if babies actually understand our verbal language. I believe
they do (McCarty, 2002a). Because most of us were taught in our Western
world that babies were not capable of understanding us, we often talk around
babies, about babies, even make jokes about them or talk about our troubles
with them, as if they don’t understand. We now realize they not only are
listening, but they are forming their blueprint for life based on these
messages. Therefore, my guide in being with babies in and outside the womb
is that I consider them fully present and taking in what I am saying, feeling,
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
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thinking, and my intending. I include them in the conversation and I assume
they are affected by what I am saying.
I am reminded of Emily’s words, “They don’t know I am a person. I
know I am.” My response is thank you for reminding us of who we are.
My intention in my life is to remember ways of being with babies so
babies feel welcomed, seen, heard, and they know WE KNOW what sentient
beings they are from the beginning of life.
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
17
Communicating with Babies From the Beginning of Life
Three Levels of Communication• Communicating TO baby• Receiving and perceiving communication FROM baby• Mutual communication - the dance BETWEEN
We communicate to baby through:• Mind-to-mind – inner conversation• Our STATE OF BEING
o Stress or relaxed/well-beingo Our physical state – health, chemically, nutritionallyo Mental – thoughts, focus of attentiono Emotions and mood
• Touch, voice, gestures, movement, eye contact• Verbal language and sound• Choices in environment/people around us• Our actions
Babies communicate with us through:• Mind-to-mind communication• Through our dreams, daydreams, meditations, prayers• Inspiring us with ideas, thoughts, feelings, and actions• Movement, activity level and rhythm of movements• Vocalizations, body language, eye focus• State of being and where placing attention• Facial expressions and gestures
The Mutual Dance• A mutual conversation that can be a all these levels• That sense of connection and rhythm of being in tune with each other
Babies love to be a part of the dance, bothbeing included by being communicated to andbeing received and responded to. (Similar to us adults!)
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
18
References
Chamberlain, D. B. (1988). Babies remember birth: And other extraordinaryscientific discoveries about the mind and personality of your newborn. LosAngeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, Inc.
Chamberlain, D. B. (1999). Reliability of birth memory: observations frommother and child pairs in hypnosis, Journal of Prenatal and PerinatalPsychology and Health, 14(1-2), 19-30.
Chamberlain, D. (2000). Looking back: Personal reflections on the history ofour association. Part I: Conception to birth. Journal of Prenatal and PerinatalPsychology and Health, 14(3) 237-242.
McCarty, W. A. (1996). Being with babies: What babies are teaching us, anintroduction, vol. 1. Goleta, CA: Wondrous Beginnings. (Available throughwww.wondrousbeginnings.com)
McCarty W. A. (1997). Being with babies: What babies are teaching us,supporting babies' innate wisdom, vol. 2. Goleta, CA: Wondrous Beginnings.(Available through www.wondrousbeginnings.com)
McCarty, W. A., (2002a). The power of beliefs: What babies are teaching us.Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health, 16(4). 341-360.(Available through www.wondrousbeginnings.com)
McCarty, W. A. (2002b). Keys to healing and preventing foundational trauma:What babies are teaching us. Bridges– ISSSEEM Magazine, 13(4), 8-12.(Available through www.wondrousbeginnings.com)
McCarty, W. A. (in press). Welcoming consciousness: Supporting babieswholeness from the beginning of life–An integrated model of earlydevelopment. Santa Barbara, CA: WB Publishing.
Siegel, D. J. & Hartzell, M. (2003). Parenting from the inside out: How adeeper understanding can help you raise children who thrive. New York:Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putham.
Selected Further Readings
Carmen, E. M. & Carmen, N. J. (1999). Cosmic cradle: Souls waiting in thewings for birth. Fairfield, IO: Sunstar Publishing, Inc.
Castellino, R.(2000). The stress matrix: Implications for prenatal and birththerapy. Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health, 15(1), 31-62.
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
19
Castellino, R. (1997). The caregiver’s role in birth and newborn and self-attachment needs. Santa Barbara, CA: BEBA. (Available from BEBA, (805)687-2897)
Chamberlain, D. B. (1990). Expanding the boundaries of memory. Pre- andPeri-natal Psychology, 4(3), 171-189.
Chamberlain, D. B. (1992). Babies are not what we thought: Call for a newparadigm. The International Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Studies, 4(3-4),161-178.
Chamberlain, D. B. (1994). The sentient prenate: What every parent shouldknow. Pre- and Peri-natal Psychology Journal, 9(1), 9-34.
Chamberlain, D. B. (1997). Early and very early parenting: New territories.Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health, 12(2), 51-59.
Chamberlain, D. B. (1998). The mind of your newborn baby. Berkeley, CA:North Atlantic Books.
Chamberlain, D. B. (1999a). Babies don’t feel pain: A century of denial inmedicine. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health, 14(1-2), 145-168.
Chamberlain, D. B. (1999b). Prenatal body language: A new perspective onourselves. The International Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology andMedicine, 12(4), 541-556.
Chamberlain, D. B. (1999c). The significance of birth memories. Journal ofPrenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health, 14(1-2), 65-84.
Chamberlain, D. B. (1999d). Transpersonal adventures in prenatal andperinatal hypnotherapy. Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology andHealth, 14(1-2), 85-96.
Eichhorn, D. & Verny, T. R. (1999). The biopsychosocial transactional modelof development: The beginning of the formation of an emergent sense of selfin the newborn. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health, 13(3-4),223-234.
Emerson, W. R. (1998a). Birth trauma: The psychological effects ofobstetrical interventions. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health,13(1), 11-44.
Emerson, W. R. (1998b). The vulnerable prenate. The International Journal ofPrenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Medicine, 10(1), 5-18.
The CALL to Reawaken and Deepen Our CommunicationWith Babies: What Babies Are Teaching Us
Original article published in International Doula 12(3), Summer 2004.Copyright 2004 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
20
Emerson, W. R. (2001). Treating cesarean birth trauma during infancy and childhood.Journal of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology, 15(3), 177-192.
Hallett, E. (2002). Stories of the unborn soul: The mystery and delight of pre-birthcommunication. San Jose: Writers Club Press.
Linn, S., Emerson, W., Linn D., & Linn, M. (1999). Remembering our home:Healing hurts and receiving gifts from conception to birth. Mahwah, N.J.:Paulist Press.
Verny, T. R. (Ed.) (1987). Pre- and Peri-natal Psychology: An introduction.New York: Human Sciences Press, Inc.
Verny, T. R. (2002). Tomorrow’s baby: The art and science of parenting fromconception through infancy. New York: Simon & Schuster.
Wade, J. (1998). Physically transcendent awareness: A comparison of thephenomenology of consciousness before birth and after death. Journal ofNear-Death Studies. 16(4), 249-275.
Wirth, F. (2001). Prenatal parenting: The complete psychological and spiritualguide to loving your unborn child. New York: HarperCollins.
Dr. McCarty is a Prenatal and Perinatal Consultant and Educator. She is theFounding Chair and Faculty of the Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Programat Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. Dr. McCarty is a frequent presenter atconferences and is a continuing education provider in her specialty. In herprivate practice, she works with families throughout the prenatal, birth, andearly parenting years. She also works with professionals professionally andpersonally.
She can be reached by email: [email protected]
To order more copies of this and other publications, please come to:www.wondrousbeginnings.com
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma
What Babies Are Teaching Us
By
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
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Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
2
This article was originally published in the International Society for the Studies of
Subtle Energies and Energy Medicine’s magazine, Bridges, Winter 2003, Vol 13, 4, 8-
12. For more information about ISSSEEM, visit their website at www.issseem.org.
When I recently read the aTLC Proclamation and Blueprint (atlc.org) I was
deeply moved by the passage:
Children never outgrow the need for the nurturing of being seen, heard,
touched, and valued. When we honor the wholeness of our children’s spirit and
treat them with more love and respect for their unique rhythm, character and
ability, we can compensate for many of our children’s unmet needs. When we
nurture our children in these ways, we also heal ourselves. ATLC
This captures so much. If I were asked to make a global statement about how
we can prevent our babies from having traumatic patterns in their foundational
blueprint upon which they build their bodies, sense of self, relationships and the
world, I would borrow from this passage and say:
We are never too young for the need for the nurturing of being seen,
heard, touched, and valued. When we honor the wholeness of our baby’s spirit
as their body is conceived and as they are nurtured in the womb and birthed;
when we treat them with love and respect and include them as whole, sentient
beings that are learning intensely about life and communicating with us from
the beginning; and, when we appreciate their conception, womb life and birth
as their unique sacred journey into human life, we can compensate when
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
3
everything doesn’t go well, when “life happens.” When we nurture the
wholeness, the goodness, truth and beauty of our baby’s spirit and human self,
we also heal ourselves. Wendy Anne McCarty
I began my work with families in the 1970’s as an obstetrical nurse and
childbirth educator. I was fascinated with babies and got my masters in child
development. In the 1970’s, I learned about the latest in infant cognitive, language,
emotional-social development and went on to get a doctorate in counseling
psychology, and then worked with families as a psychotherapist for many years.
In 1988, I discovered the field of prenatal and perinatal psychology and
therapeutic work with healing trauma in babies. I found it both fascinating and
disorienting. Their premises and perspective were coming from such a different
paradigm that I felt at a loss as to how to interface my academic learning and previous
experiences with this new perspective that suggested we were conscious, aware
beings from the beginning, and that often our prenatal and birth experiences has
involved stress and/or trauma that could be addresses as infants. The schism I
experienced has taken me on a path towards integrating these perspectives.
What is real? Babies and children have been my most reliable teachers. They
have shown me repeatedly the realness of their wholeness from the beginning of life.
They have shown me how deeply we want to be acknowledged, heard, seen, valued,
included, protected, and aided in creating our environment to be one in which we can
stay oriented, present and feeling safe–from the beginning of life.
I have found that when we hold the realness and wholeness from the
beginning, and learn more of their “language” of communicating earlier experience and
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
4
current issues, babies, toddlers, and children show us stories and their responses to
what happened to them. Their stories may be about conception, when their parents
discover they are here, some event or circumstance of their life in the womb, or what
happened during their birth, immediately afterwards and their first experiences in the
outer world.
These experiences build the infrastructure or foundation of implicit memory,
autonomic nervous system function, and the subconscious programming of beliefs,
shaping perception and meaning given to current situations–even as neonates–that is
below the level of conscious awareness. Our earliest experiences are embedded in our
being and act as a natural filter of our perceptions and interpretations of situations,
people, and even sense of self.
I’d like to share one way I believe all of us can create moments of potential
healing and transformation of foundational trauma. We each can do this with our own
children and can help families we work with in this way. I have frequently found that
earlier stress, trauma and breaches in trust/relationship from the prenatal and
perinatal period often stand in the way of our trusting, loving, or allowing more love in
until the earlier wound is acknowledged and resolved.
We know that when a person has experienced something traumatic or
disturbing, one of the most healing experiences can be to have another person hold
presence, listen, and acknowledge what happened and our experience of it. (We also
know how the denial, discounting, or not believing something happened or could be
remembered can exponentially complicate and strength the destructive impact of the
original trauma.)
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
5
Often our babies have foundational trauma because we haven’t known how
conscious and aware, how much they could be impacted by what happens so early in
the pregnancy and during birth. Once we become aware, often we have regrets and a
sense of remorse of the part we played in it or in not knowing how to protect them
from it.
I have found that when we address a difficult or painful truth about something
we now believe could have impacted them during pregnancy and at birth, and we
genuinely feel and express remorse about the impact this could have had on them,
this moment is a gift of a lifetime.
It is important when doing this to take care to create the right environment and
time to be with them, to talk with them (at any age) about their conception or when
you found you were pregnant, their birth, etc. Sensitively talk with them about seems
important to share with them or what you feel would be important for them to hear
about concerning what happened to them. Often we don’t have explicit, conscious
memory of our earliest experiences, but the impact has shaped us and implicitly
pervades our lives. Some part of us knows. I have seen these tender moments of
dealing with painful, difficult truths be life changing for both parent and baby or child.
Luis’ Story. For now, I’d like to share a story told to me by Luis, a father from
Latin America. He approached me at a workshop and said he needed to talk with me.
“You changed my life and the life of my family and I have wanted to thank you for a
long time.”
Luis said, “Do you remember years ago telling us a story of your therapy work
with babies? You told us of a father who was just realizing that his baby really was
conscious even while still inside his wife’s womb. The father had not wanted this baby
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
6
when he heard his wife was pregnant; he had not truly welcomed this baby at birth.
You told us that during the therapy, you suggested that the father talk directly to his
baby, now in his arms. Looking him straight in the eyes, to tell him gently, what really
happened. “I did not want you then, because I wasn’t ready for a baby then. There’s
nothing wrong with you. I love you now.” You recounted that when the father saw the
sadness in his baby’s eyes, he felt the sorrow and spoke deep words of truth, “I’m
sorry. I didn’t know you felt this. I didn’t know you were conscious of this. I am sorry.
I love you so much now. You are a beautiful boy,” the father spoke softly.
Luis said, “When I got on the plane that night, I started thinking and feeling
honestly how this story applied to what happened with my fourth child. We had had
three girls and they had grown up enough so that we could go skiing and take
vacations. My wife got pregnant and I was silently angry and distant during the whole
pregnancy. I was never close to this child and our relationship had always been
“tense.” I had absolutely no patience with her and of course, we were far from being
caring and tender with each other. At that moment on the plane, I decided I wanted to
talk to her about this.
One morning a few days later, I went into her bedroom and quietly sat on her
bed. “I want to talk to you, Paula, about when you arrived in your mother’s tummy.”
Paula, now five years old, listened. “When you arrived, I wasn’t happy about your
coming. I sometimes resented you being here. I did not always treat you well, even
until now. I’ve made a mistake. I am very sorry. Now I realized you felt my anger and
resentment in some way. I’m sorry and I now realize what a magnificent being you
are. I’m so grateful you chose this family and chose me to be your father. I love you
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
7
form the bottom of my heart. I am so sorry I did not honor you in the way you needed
form the beginning.”
Luis’s eyes filled with soft tears as he continued, “She didn’t say much at the
time. Wendy, this conversation happened seven years ago. After that conversation,
she changed; the tension between us that had been there from the beginning was
replaced with a wonderful relationship. Today she is twelve, and my love and caring
for my daughter flows with ease and joy. I realized it all had an enormous impact in
my relationship with Paula, but it also had much to do with my understanding that
each one of my daughters is a complete human being and needed to be addressed as
such from the first day they came.”
I was deeply touched by Luis’ willingness to listen, to learn, to consider the
whole new notion of his daughter being conscious from the beginning and to act from
his heart to speak to her and love her in this way. It changed each of them and their
relationship. Most of us haven’t known how conscious our babies are from conception
on. When we consider our own possible impact, when we are there in the moment
willing to allow our babies or children to express their unexpressed feelings and
responses about a given situation, tremendous healing is possible.
One of my foundational beliefs is that TRUTH helps to orient us deeply within
our self. When conveyed with love, compassion, and care, it can be the “mother of
self-regulation and attachment.” I have seen many families that have dissonant
patterns of interaction–some very obvious, some subtle–that reconstellate into a new
more coherent, harmonious pattern and relationship after healing moments life this.
Parents are instinctively protective of their children. One traditional way of
protecting was to not speak about painful things–to keep potentially hurtful things
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
8
away from our babies and children. We especially did this when we thought they were
unable to remember or be impacted by what happened so early on. Unfortunately, we
now appreciate how much some part of us already knows the truth and were impacted
by what happened.
I think of a more wholistic protectiveness is for us to protect our babies and
children’s right to know the truth, to be able to orient and be supported to deal with
and heal painful early experiences. Babies are so willing and able to benefit from this
compassion and loving intent to heal and repair. In my work with families, I have seen
many parent-child relationships turn around in moments–like these when potentially
traumatizing, painful, negative experiences from the prenatal and birth period are
recognized, acknowledged and honored–when the children’s responses were respected
and appreciated.
The list below provides a collection of key concepts which might be helpful to
you. On the following page, you will find an abbreviated set of questions that can give
you clues to origins of potential stress-trauma-disruptive patterns from the prenatal
and perinatal experiences that can easily be included in working with individuals and
families.
Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology
• How we are conceived, carried, birthed, and greeted matters greatly.
• We are conscious, aware, and communicating meaningfully from the beginning
of life.
• Our earliest experiences in the womb, at birth and during infancy establish a
foundational blueprint for life. This blueprint becomes the infrastructure from
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
9
which we grow and experience life–physically, emotionally, mentally,
relationally and spiritually. These early experiences become part of our implicit
memory and autonomic functioning–below the level of our conscious
awareness.
• Our foundational blueprints are reflected through our lives, in our perceptions,
conceptions, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, choices, actions, bodies, relationships,
work, and in our spirituality.
• Even in the womb, our cellular functions set “programs” in motion towards
growth OR protection.
• Stress-trauma-shock is on a continuum. Trauma occurs when an event propels
a person into an overwhelmed state to which they cannot effectively orient,
stay present, and cope effectively. Stressful and traumatic imprinting from the
prenatal, birth and bonding period is much more common than previously
thought.
• Young babies already portray complex beliefs and shape their behaviors and
interactions around them. The majority of babies born in the US show signs of
stress or traumatic imprinting.
• There are many potential causes for stress and trauma imprinting during the
prenatal, birth and bonding period.
• Conception, life in the womb, and birth are all foundational cycles–with a
beginning and end. Our experience (and imprinting) in moving through these
cycles is seen in how we move through cycles (sequences) in our lives–macro
and micro. When there is stress and/or trauma during these early journeys,
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
10
they profoundly impact our ability to be present, connected and moving
through our lives whole and joyously.
• Earlier stress, trauma and breaches in trust/relationships often stand in the way
of our trusting, loving, or allowing more love in until the earlier wound is
acknowledged and resolved.
Clinical History-Seven Vital Areas of Early Experience
Each of these brings clues to potentially early stress and/or trauma that shape ourfoundational blueprint.
Conception
• Describe your parents, their relationship and life circumstances at the time
you were conceived.
• Were they trying to have a baby? Where you planned or a surprise?
• The circumstances/emotional tone of the conception, e.g. passionate
conscious lovemaking to get pregnant, one-night stand, angry dominating
sex, drugs on board.
• Was there medical intervention or third party involvement to bring about
conception?
Implantation
• Was mom smoking, using drugs, drinking alcohol, or taking medications with
the first two weeks of pregnancy?
• What was the mother’s emotional, mental, and physical health like?
• Was there any evidence of a twin present, any subsequent bleeding?
• Were there previously unresolved issues involving her womb–sexual abuse,
miscarriages, abortions, disappointments?
Discovery
• What were your parent’s initial reactions to finding out they were pregnant?
• Were you planned or a surprise? Wanted or not?
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
11
• Were there repercussions, conflicts, shame, or secrets around the pregnancy?
• Did your parents consider not having or keeping you; was an attempt made
to abort the pregnancy?
Pregnancy
• Did your mom use drugs, alcohol, smoke, take medications or take over-the
counter drugs? If so, when/if during pregnancy did she take/stop taking them.
• Amniocentesis? Ultrasounds?
• Significant events/issues/distress during the pregnancy.
• Mom’s health and well-being.
• Implications of this pregnancy, e.g. financial stress; single mom; kept parents
together.
• How did your mother feel towards the growing baby inside? How much stress
did your mom experience during her pregnancy?
Birth
• Were you born early or later than the date you were due?
• Did the labor start and progress naturally or was labor induced/stimulated?
• How long was your labor?
• Born at home or in the hospital?
• Was your mom given drugs during labor or at birth?
• Did she have anesthesia? What kind?
• Were there medical interventions during labor? During birth?
• Was your birth assisted-forceps, vacuum extraction, C-section?
• Were there any complications?
• What stories have you heard about your birth?
• How much did you weigh?
• What happened right after you were born? Taken to warmer and examined?
Given to mom? Procedures done?
• What were the initial reactions and verbal greetings to you?
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
12
Bonding
• Were you with your mother or separated during the first hour?
• When did you get to be with your mother for the first time?
• Breast-fed or bottle-fed?
• Did you have bruising or molding of your head?
• Were you circumcised? Other procedures?
• How did your parents describe you as a newborn?
• If born in the hospital, did you stay with your mom or in a nursery? For how
many days?
Infant
• Were you the gender your parents wanted?
• How have your parents/caretakers described you as a baby?
• Any problems with colic, allergies, sleep, long crying periods, ear infections,
difficulty being close, etc.?
• What were your parent’s beliefs of how to parent, e.g. let baby cry
themselves to sleep, don’t spoil a baby.
• Who cared for you during your first weeks and months of life?
• Did your mom experience post partum depression?
References & Notes
1. W. A. McCarty, Being with Babies: What babies are teaching us, Vol 1 & 2
(Wondrous Beginnings, Goleta, CA, 1996, 1997).
2. W. A. McCarty, The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching Us, Journal of
Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health 16 (4), (2002), p. 341-260.
To learn more:
Santa Barbara Graduate Institute (www.sbgi.edu)
Association of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH)
(www.birthpsychology.com)
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D. (www.wondrousbeginnings.com)
Alliance for Transforming the Life of Children (www.aTLC.org)
Keys to Healing and Preventing Foundational Trauma: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty Ph.D., R.N.
Original article published in ISSSEEM Magazine Bridges, Vol13 (4) Winter 2002.Copyright 2002 by Wendy Anne McCarty . To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
13
Wendy Anne McCarty is Founding Chair and Faculty, Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology
Program at Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. She provides CE courses as well as individual
consultation services to professionals and organizations to understand and incorporate
implications of recent prenatal/perinatal research/clinical findings to a wide spectrum of
healing practices for people of all ages. She also provides services for young families and
adults to resolve and optimize this early blueprinting experience, utilizing energy psychology
and other traditions to re-establish and support wholeness and coherence. You can reach her
at: [email protected].
www.wondrousbeginnings.com
The Power of Beliefs:
What Babies are Teaching Us
By
Wendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D., R.N.
WB Publication eDocument Usage AgreementOne PDF file of document, one printed copy.
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The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
2
*This paper is based on a presentation to the 10th International Congress of APPPAHheld in San Francisco, Dec. 2001. She is the founding Chair, and member of thefounding faculty of the Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Program at Santa BarbaraGraduate Institute. In addition, she was the co-founder of BEBA, a non-profit clinicfor therapeutic work with babies and their families. Dr. McCarty would like to thankthe families whose stories are included in this paper for their participation and forpermission to share their stories. Correspondence can be sent to:[email protected].
ABSTRACT: This paper explores the development of beliefs during the prenatal andperinatal period and how babies portray their beliefs. Four vignettes from therapeuticwork with babies illustrate the powerful impact beliefs already have in shaping theirlives. Basic principles to help babies shift potentially constrictive beliefs to more lifeenhancing ones are included. This paper is intended as a theoretical and clinicalexploration leading to new thought, research and clinical direction. This paper callsfor a paradigm for infant development and communication with babies based on thepremise that consciousness is the organizing principle of human experience. Theimportance of both practitioner and parent’s beliefs is discussed.
(Clarification added 12/1/04: Consciousness as the organizing principle. I wasdeveloping this concept at the time of this paper, yet the way I expressed it in thispaper was vague. I want to clarify that I am speaking of the primary consciousnessof the person. Further evolution and articulation of this concept is found in myWelcoming Consciousness book.)
INTRODUCTION
Since I began working with children and babies within the prenatal and perinatal
psychology framework in the 1980s, I have been fascinated with how the blueprint of
core beliefs is already actively shaping babies’ lives in terms of their physical
structure, physiology, their relationship to self, others, and to the world as well.
The purpose of this paper is to explore the development of beliefs during the
prenatal and perinatal period and how babies portray their beliefs. The importance of
the practitioner and parent’s beliefs is discussed. Four vignettes from therapeutic
work with babies are included to illustrate the power of beliefs in babies’ lives and to
highlight basic principles to help babies heal and shift from potentially constrictive
beliefs to more life enhancing ones. The vignettes included give babies an
opportunity to teach us themselves. This paper is intended to serve as a theoretical
and clinical exploration and points to new arenas of thought, research and clinical
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
3
direction. This paper calls for a paradigm for infant development and communication
with babies based on the premise that consciousness is the organizing principle of
human experience. It is not intended to be a thorough examination of clinical work
with babies.
ABOUT BELIEFS
Our beliefs are the foundation of organization of our reality. Beliefs organize and
determine what we make real. They not only shape our perception of ourselves and the
world, but they continue their cascading impact by shaping and directing where we focus
our attention, our motives, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, choices, decisions and our
actions (Talbot, 1991; Benson, 1996). Beliefs directly impact our mental and physical
health (Rossi, 1993). They are the raw materials from which our reality is created shaping
our expectations of the future; they direct where we focus our most precious human
treasure—our imagination. We know that much of our experience is actually filtered out
before we even are aware of it. Beliefs determine what we will become conscious of or
perceive.
We know that our beliefs not only filter our perceptions of reality (Ornstein and
Sobel, 1987), they can even override physical reality (Rossi, 1993; Talbot, 1991).
Dr. Herbert Benson (1996) in Timeless Healing: The Power and Biology of Belief
writes of a research study in which women who had persistent nausea and vomiting
during pregnancy were given a drug, syrup of ipecac, a substance that causes
vomiting (Wolf, 1950). The women were told the drug would cure their problem.
What happened? If physiology had the most power, the women should have
continued vomiting. In fact, their vomiting stopped. Their beliefs overrode the
physiological action of the drug. Benson suggests that many successful outcomes of
new medical and pharmaceutical interventions reveal more about the impact of belief
than about the usefulness of a specific agent. He points to three contributing factors:
the belief and expectancy of the patient, the belief and expectancy of the caregiver,
and the beliefs and expectancies generated by both caregiver and patient sharing
similar beliefs and expectancies.
We also know that the brain cannot differentiate between what is experienced as
real in the outer world and the imagined inner world. We are familiar with this in
hypnosis, lucid dreaming, meditation, and other altered states in which the mind
creates a reality beyond the physical outer reality (Talbot, 1991).
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
4
New research relating to babies adds to this picture. We now know that from the
onset of brain wave activity and continuing throughout infancy, the delta and theta
EEG ranges are predominant (Bell & Fox, 1994; Laibow, 1999). These states are
associated with restorative and regenerative processes, deep creativity, hyper-
learning and hypnotic suggestibility (Laibow, 1999; Robbins, 2000). Such high-
voltage, slow-wave brain wave patterns are also associated with meditation,
expanded awareness, psi perceptions and abilities and transcendental states of
consciousness (Talbot, 1991; Wade, 1996; Wilbur, 2000).
Dr. Bruce Lipton, a cellular biologist, suggests that beliefs are the determining
factor in whether the cellular activity is growth-oriented or protection-oriented. He
proposes that prenates and babies learn at the level of perceptions. These early
learned perceptions have a profound affect upon the baby’s physiology and behavior
and become hard-wired synaptic pathways as core perceptions becoming
subconscious beliefs through which all later experience is filtered and organized
(Lipton 1998, 2001).
When we consider the impact of shared beliefs and expectations between an adult
physician and patient, the fact that the brain cannot differentiate between the
imagined world and the physical world in these altered states, and realize that babies
live in such altered states of deep suggestibility and learning, we must reconsider the
magnitude of potential impact the beliefs and expectancies of parents and caregivers
on the growing prenate and baby. We must also deepen our appreciation of the
importance of our own beliefs and expectations as practitioners and parents, for it is
the perceiver’s beliefs that not only largely determine what is perceived, conceived
and experienced when interacting with babies, but that babies are learning and
associating with those beliefs when in contact with us. The enormous power of
beliefs is becoming evident.
MY EVOLVING BELIEFS AND PARADIGM
My own perceptions in this arena have evolved over the years. During my training
in obstetrical nursing and infant development during the 1970’s, I was taught to look
at prenates and babies through the eyes of a Newtonian model that focuses on our
physically based development and experience. We examined what babies were
capable of based on their brain and growing body and built our interventions based
on these understandings. Behaviors that appeared outside a Newtonian-based
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
5
paradigm were commonly dismissed as random or lost in the characterization as
“Babies just do that. It doesn’t mean anything.” Although infant development theory
and research has advanced greatly, and the advent of brain imagery studies has
expanded our knowledge immensely in the intricacies of factors in development, the
biologically based Newtonian paradigm is still predominant in infant development
theory and research today.
I was first introduced to prenatal and perinatal psychology at the 1989 Pre- and
Perinatal Psychology Conference in Newport Beach, CA. In his presentation there,
William Emerson (1989a) included videos of his therapeutic work with babies. I was
deeply moved by the baby’s presence and awareness. I was stunned by this
pioneering work of trauma resolution (Emerson, 1989b) during infancy and began to
train with him.
When I entered the field of prenatal and perinatal psychotherapy with children
and later with babies, my previously held beliefs and education were inadequate to
explain what babies showed me each day. Was I to dismiss a four-year-old boy
accurately playing out a scene from when he was five months in the womb because
it could not be explained within current models? Was I to dismiss the
meaningfulness of a thirteen-month old adopted boy picking a plastic character doll
(out of hundreds of toys) that looked eerily like a photo of his birth mom the last day
he saw her when he was two weeks old? Was I to disregard a three-month old girl’s
portrayal of the patterns, movements, and unique progression of her own birth as
her parents talk of her birth? I could not dismiss what they were showing me; I was
too moved by their integrity and purity of expression.
Every session with children and babies stretched my beliefs about who we are
and what is possible. They were already expressing so much of their earlier
experience and learned expectations of the future—if only I could hold the meaning
of what they were showing me. These experiences led me to search for a paradigm
to hold them. I found a home for them in a synergy of quantum physics, holographic
theory, consciousness studies, transpersonal psychology, and ultimately in my own
spirituality and experience as I reawakened to my own prenatal and birth
experiences.
I now believe that for us to more fully and accurately understand the experience
and development of the growing prenate and baby, we must acknowledge and hold a
higher truth. We are consciousness prior to and beyond our physical body and brain.
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
6
Within the quantum physics paradigm, consciousness is viewed as primary and thus
directs and forms a partnership with our growing biology and human self (Bohm,
1980). Early experiences in the womb and during infancy appear to be an
inseparable, intertwining experience between both the nonphysical realm from which
we come and the physical life to which we are being initiated (Carmen & Carman,
1999; Luminaire-Rosen, 2000; Wade, 1996, 1998; Wambach, H., 1981). To separate
out consciousness from the human experience in our scientific pursuit to understand
human experience and development, appears a “fatal flaw of the Newtonian scientific
approach.”
My present cosmology has evolved to view the primary journey as consciousness
as the organizing principle of our human experience and journey. I believe our
consciousness coming into this life has a unique shape with specific purposes for our
life. Those may include grappling with certain limiting or destructive beliefs we bring
with us to heal and resolve. They certainly are to grow, learn, enjoy, create, give,
love, remember, and live more fully the Divine consciousness that we are.
I believe there is purpose and meaning in who we choose for our parents, the
timing of our birth, and in our early prenatal and birth experiences because all these
contribute immensely to the core beliefs and perceptions that begin to give focus to
our exploration. From the very beginning at conception (and even before), we are
learning about physical life through our experiences in the womb, resonating and
merging with our parent’s living of life and their conscious and unconscious beliefs.
When we look at the states of consciousness and brain wave patterns of prenates
and babies during the first eighteen months, it appears that we are “wired” as
consciousness coming in to merge with the experiences of our parents and significant
others. We enter an intense learning period about being human, about our own
image and about the world; we form our personal perceptions and beliefs.
It would seem to be a beautiful plan to orient to our life in the physical world,
merging our consciousness with mother and father’s universes of biology and
consciousness. We set the filtering devices that will determine what we consciously
attend to and perceive. Out of the infinite possible experiences in human life, we
begin to draw the core design of our life focus.
Unfortunately, all too often we forget that we are primarily consciousness. We
have lost touch with life filled with soul and spirit and that conception is first and
foremost a sacred initiation into life here. Sadly, we have narrowed our view of who
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
7
babies are, based only on biology. In doing so, we have already abandoned their
more real identity as consciousness capable of complex understanding and presence,
as described by Chamberlain (1988, 1998, 1990) and Wade (1996, 1998). Our
personal orientation and welcoming style has often become a school in separation,
loneliness, toxicity, violence and fear, dimming the aliveness we knew outside the
physical body (Emerson, 1996).
These early imprints and ensuing beliefs of human life can become our greatest
constrictors—wardens of an inner personal prison—or they can be our greatest
liberators. When we begin with belief that we are primarily consciousness, and that
our physical self cannot be separated from, nor exist without, a connection to our
consciousness, a whole world of new perceptions of what babies are showing us can
unfold. As we begin perceiving the underlying beliefs that babies are portraying, we
can begin working directly with those beliefs creating new possibilities of freedom,
growth and health.
HOW BABIES PORTRAY THEIR BELIEFS
Vignettes are useful in that babies are the best teachers to demonstrate the
power of beliefs already imprinted. We also can learn from them as we watch those
moments of new possibilities, when they move from constricted beliefs into beliefs
that allow more freedom and growth. These vignettes come from the BEBA video
archives. BEBA is a non-profit research clinic that I co-founded with Dr. Ray
Castellino in 1994 to provide prenatal and birth therapy for babies and their families
and to document the work for educational and research purposes. In the vignettes
described, Ray and I are the therapists with BEBA families.
In therapeutic work with babies, babies show us how beliefs are more than
thoughts. Beliefs permeate, influence, and are part of the very core of being at all
levels: they appear as ways of being in the world, revealed in states of being,
embedded and expressed in body structures, postures, physiological processes, and
movement on both micro and macro levels. They also appear in states of
consciousness, focuses of attention, emotional tones, and intentional actions. There
is an is-ness to the experience, already a part of the fabric of being from which they
live.
Remarkably, prenates and babies demonstrate to us that they do understand
complex communication and respond meaningfully (Chamberlain, 1998). They
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
8
taught me continually to stretch my “realm of possibilities” to include a knowing that
this level of communication with babies was possible. I now recognize that it is
possible because we are communicating at the level of consciousness.
How do babies communicate? They communicate through eye contact, facial
expression, changes in where they place their attention and states of consciousness,
body movements and gestures, physiological changes, breath and heart rates,
vocalizations, crying and talking, through more primary changes in structure and
rhythms and through energetic and telepathic means—i.e., a lot like adults do!
PRINCIPLES OF REPATTERNING
In the following vignettes, several repatterning principles are incorporated.
Although this paper is not intended to be a thorough articulation of possible
therapeutic interventions with babies, there are certain principles that are important
to articulate here and that are therapeutic when being with babies in any
intervention.
When an earlier experience has involved stress, trauma, or shock, the baby
person has experienced some varying degree of disorientation, overwhelm and
inability to cope in the situation (Castellino, 2000; Emerson, 1999; Levine, 1997).
Events and sequencing were compressed and occurred very quickly or intensely.
Each of the repatterning principles is designed to help babies repattern those earlier
experiences by supporting them to orient and to integrate present experience.
The first principle is to find the right pace for the baby. Usually this means we
slow the pace as we sense the pace the baby needs in order to stay present and
oriented, as well as connected to the slower more growth-oriented inner rhythms.
This is an integral part of establishing a therapeutic environment in which the baby’s
autonomic nervous system can respond with settling and integration after activation
has occurred (Castellino, 2000; Sills, 2001).
A second principle is to view the baby as the primary focus of and active
participant in our interactions (if they want to be). We follow the baby’s cues and
respond to them. Often prenates and babies are “in reaction” to others and their
environment or held on the sidelines of the adult conversation as they are “talked
about.” In contrast, we want to support their participation, their lead, and their
communication.
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
9
A third principle is to attend to the baby’s communication (verbal, gestural,
somatic, and energetic) and attempt to recognize, acknowledge, and reflect for them
the apparent experience, perceptions or beliefs, they appear to be expressing.
A fourth principle is to assist the baby to orient with aspects of their experience
by pointing out and differentiating, such as, between then and now, or between their
own experience and that of their parents. We may illuminate and voice what belief
they are portraying, what they may believe is true in the moment, even though it is
based on past experience, rather than the ‘actual circumstances’ in the present
moment.
The fifth principle deals with our intentions and attitudes. We are attempting to
bring awareness and support to provide the baby an opportunity of healing. This is
different from treating a baby or conducting some test or procedure on the baby.
Sixth is to hold the vision of them as primary consciousness and that they are
communicating with us on many levels and to respect their innate wisdom.
Seventh (and perhaps most fundamental) is that we bring our caring compassion
for them. I believe love is the greatest healer.
These principles are incredibly powerful and are recommended as therapeutic
guidelines in interacting with prenates and babies in everyday life (See McCarty
1996, 1997).
VIGNETTES
Antara
Antara was born at 42 weeks gestation after over 20 hours of active labor,
induction with pitocin, and 4 1/2 hours of pushing. Her birth was finally assisted by
vacuum extraction. When she was born, she was found to have aspirated old
meconium and was taken to the NICU for assessment and intervention. After two
hours, the mother was able to be with her in the NICU. Antara spent five days in
NICU. She did well, but needed oxygen support, was given antibiotics and kept
sedated. For purposes of clarity, I am distilling Antara’s story to highlight our
particular focus. Within the sessions though, we hold more of the complexity of the
baby’s prenatal and perinatal history.
We first met Antara when she was 3 1/2 months old. She initially looked very
wary and frightened as her parents carried her into the therapy room. Ray spent
several minutes slowly approaching her as we talked to parents. When he came close
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
10
enough, he gently offered her his hand, after asking permission to do so from the
parents. Antara showed several defensive reactions and signs of disorientation.
Although she maintained eye contact, her eyes widens in a seemingly shocked
expression: her body wobbled, she leaned back, pushed her legs out straight ahead
of her, made increasing vocalizations that matched her other behaviors showing
increased unease and wariness. Her system was activated in a fight-flight response.
We paused, and I said, “Oh, moving back now.” She made eye contact with me and
her system quieted. Ray moved a bit and she looked away (another coping
strategy). I said, “Oh, looking away.” She settled again. We were being sensitive to
her cues and acknowledging her responses. We were attempting to be quiet with
our movements and attention. As we did this, her system settled and she could be
more present.
At another point in the session when she was apparently reaching overwhelm,
her strategy appeared to be to dissociate. She turned her attention to gaze into a
design on her mother’s skirt. She maintained her attention there. I quietly touch the
skirt and said, “Oh, I see you looking there at mom’s skirt.” She made eye contact
with me. I said, “Looking at me now.” Her eyes went back to the fabric. The dance
was to gently meet her where she was without expectations and to allow her to feel
‘safe’ in her coping strategies.
Antara’s behaviors and responses in the first session taught us a great deal
about the beliefs and expectations that were already embedded in her perceptions
from her previous experiences of multiple interventions at birth and in the NICU. Her
behaviors were meaningfully expressing fear and wariness. In our repatterning, we
slowed the pace, acknowledged her responses, respected her boundaries, and
acknowledged and supported her coping strategies. We supported her choices and
boundaries. We continued to do this type of relating during the session. This was
undoubtedly significantly different from her earlier experiences of medical
intervention. During the following session, there was a marked change. She was
already making much more contact with us, able to settle more and have fewer
fearful reactions.
Angelika
One of Angelika’s unique qualities is that she is quite a talker. Even at the young
age of 3 1/2 months when we first began working with her, she was quite verbally
expressive.
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
11
One of the patterns her parents had noticed was that Angelika would find herself
stuck, like in a couch, or she would be in the middle of the room on the floor and act
as if she was stuck and couldn’t move. She would become increasing upset, agitated,
and mad. When we heard her birth history, the meaning of her pattern began to
emerge. She and her mom had 36 hours of active first stage labor. During that
time, Angelika would have been feeling the pressure of contractions, but no matter
what she did, there was nowhere to go because the cervix had not completely
opened.
In this first session, she appeared to have recreated this as Ray was holding her.
She was lodged in the corner of the couch with nowhere to go. The sequence
described below begins at this point in the session. Mom was kneeling beside her
holding her hand and being very present, watching her and listening to her. I was
supporting her feet and Dad was also close by. In the sequence described below,
focus on the mutuality in our communication and the meaningfulness of Angelika’s
responses to us. We utilized several repatterning principles. We were recognizing,
acknowledging, being with her, listening to her, reflecting her verbally and
somatically. She was having wonderful contact with all of us. She was finally having
her ‘side of the experience’ heard. It is likely that this was very different from her
original birth experience.
Angelika had been just “hanging out” with us for several minutes in this corner
spot. She slowly got more activated, more arm movements and vocalizations. At one
point Ray said, “We’re actually re-simulating that time when you were stuck in there
for a long time.” I follow with, “And this time she is talking about what it is like and
Mom and Dad are listening.” Ray adds, “And you can see Mom.”
Mom is looking right at her nodding her head. Angelika continued to vocalize
more emphatically and at one moment she appeared to say, “I can’t get out of here.”
Ray responded with, “It’s a long time stuck in there.” Angelika vocalized and
expressed more. She appeared to be working really hard to say the words to have us
get it. Ray said, “I get it. Ok. I am going to say it out loud, “It was an awfully
awkward tight spot. “
Angelika responded with direct eye contact with Ray and said, “Yehhh.” Ray
said, “Yeh, awkward and tight,” as he gently reflected that prior relationship with the
pelvis with his hands touching her head and side of face. Ray continued, “Yeh, that’s
how it feels.”
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
12
Angelika said. “Yehhh.” Ray responded with, “Yeh, awkward and tight,” and
again, Angelika was really efforting to get words out and we heard what sounds like
a somewhat ‘gargled’ sentence: “Yeh, I can’t get out of here.”
I almost immediately responded with “And you couldn’t figure out how to get
through there.” With that, Angelika immediately responded with a rather dramatic
movement pressing her head into the tight spot. She began really moving her legs
and pelvis up and down, but she didn’t move forward.
I said, “And you were really trying to get through there.” Ray added, “ You were
really stuck there.” She looked directly at Ray and makes pushing sounds.
The interaction continued from here. This brief vignette portrays the level of
communication and the beauty and integrity of mutual communication. She was
telling us her story and we all were listening, reflecting, empathizing and
repatterning as we journeyed together. (This sequence of communication can be
clearly heard on the audio recording of the presentation this paper is based upon.
See McCarty, 2001).
During that week, she continued to apparently express this pattern. During the
next session, Mom reported she has repeated this ‘stuck place-no-where-to-go’
behavior with agitation and frustration at home. During a second session, Angelika
continued this pattern. Now even though there wasn’t a womb, there wasn’t
pressure, there wasn’t anything to stop her, she continued to create this position,
again and again moving her legs, getting frustrated and mad, but not moving.
At one point during the session, Mom was on the floor with her legs apart.
Angelika was on the floor on her back with her feet against mom’s thighs and she
was again acting very frustrated and mad. At that moment, I said, “You know, you
could move your mad feelings into your feet.” Instantly, she pushed her feet into
mom and propelled herself forward. All three of us were surprised. Mom opened her
mouth in amazement and scooped her up to hug her. This was the moment of new
possibilities and a new belief was born.
What unfolded after this was her expressing “I can do this!” She started
mobilizing herself and moving around the room and started having fun in her body
as she discovered she could move after all! One of the things we know is that in
trauma we can become immobilized, feeling helpless. Angelika had shifted to having
joy and fun experimenting in her body with finding her energy, finding her fire. She
has a lot of fire and now she could use it in an empowered way.
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
13
Lilly
Lilly teaches us another aspect of the origins of beliefs. We had been working
with Lilly and her parents for sometime and we noticed that when she started to
stand up, she had quite a peculiar way of standing up with her legs very far apart
and her hips very unstable. It was quite distinct. We assumed it had a meaning and
purpose, yet saw no physical reason for it. Where did this pattern come from? We
asked her mom, “ What was happening to you when you were ten months old?”
Mom related that she was in a body cast and a Stryker frame. Her hips were not
fully developed when she was born and she wore a body cast for the first year of her
life. It had a bar across to keep her legs stabilized quite far apart. In the frame, she
was pulled upright at times and propped up.
We saw a relationship between mom’s experience of first standing and her
daughter’s. This is an example of a belief that came out of the parent’s experience
during the developmental period that the baby was now in. When there is
unresolved, charged material in the parent’s psyche and soma, the baby may portray
these held beliefs and patterns. The baby resonates with the belief and can carry and
incorporate it into his or her experience. Lilly was apparently incorporating part of
Mom’s patterning even though she herself was not in a body cast.
Lilly’s mom had not consciously worked with what she may have felt or needed
during those months she had spent in the cast. In a later session with us, Mom
brought in pictures of herself as an infant with the cast on. One poignant moment
was when mom was describing the bar across and the position in which the cast held
her, Lilly was on her back portraying the precise position. We suggested to Lilly that
this was the way mom had to be because of her hips and the cast, differentiating
between her mom’s experience and her own.
In a following session, Mom chose to go inside and work with her own infant and
be the receptive, supportive person there for her younger self. I was basically sitting
with her and energetically supporting her as she went into her own inward healing
journey. Dad was holding Lilly and Ray was supporting and tracking her
energetically.
There was a synchronized dance between mother and daughter. As mom went
in, Lilly went in. A short time later, the energy in the room shifted as Mom emerged.
Mom reported that she had had a new energy that opened and moved through her
body, especially her pelvis and legs. She remarked that she felt a significant shift in
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
14
the energy, a healing shift with her young one feeling heard and assisted. As Mom
came out of her inner experience, Lilly emerged from hers. As mom was describing
her experience, Lilly stood up and moved to mom. Lilly stood next to her mom and
clapped her hands smiling. We joined in and then noticed that Lilly was standing with
her feet under her hips. The old pattern released and the new one had begun.
When we recognize, acknowledge, differentiate, and support the parent to heal
their potentially unresolved material, the baby is freed to resonate with more life
enhancing beliefs.
Sky
Sky was a little boy that we began to work with when he was six weeks old. At
that point, he had never successfully breastfed. The only way that he would take his
mother’s milk is with a syringe next to the mom’s hand dropped into his mouth.
Everyone was exhausted. Sky appeared very weary and was not gaining quite
enough weight.
His history revealed that in the first 75 seconds of his life, he had a multitude of
interventions. As his head was born, the physician saw that Sky had a cord around
his neck and brought the cord around. His body came out very quickly. He had a
considerable amount of meconium on him. The doctor immediately, in a brisk, very
no-nonsense way, suctioned him with a bulb syringe. He then quickly cut his cord
and handed him to the pediatric staff. They took him to the pediatric bed and opened
his airways up by extending his head back to visualize and suction him more deeply
for the meconium. His Apgar scores were good, but he was taken to NICU for
‘routine’ procedures. His dad stayed with him. He was reunited with his mom over an
hour later. He never successfully breastfed.
Those first moments, minutes, and hours after birth are incredible precious and
vital for bonding, self-attachment, the establishment of relationship, and successful
breastfeeding (Klaus, Kennell, Klaus, 1995; Righard & Alade, 1990). In facilitating
therapy with babies, I have come to appreciate much more deeply the power of
those first moments in terms of imprinting beliefs and life patterns.
During the first BEBA session when Sky was brought to the breast, he had a
very distinct movement and activation pattern. When he started to put his mouth
around the nipple, his head jerked back four times in a brisk decisive pattern. He
then became increasing agitated, upset and escalated to where mom stopped
attempting to nurse him.
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
15
During the second BEBA session, we explored Sky’s birth story in what I have
come to call the “birth review.” An important part of therapy with babies is when the
parents begin to tell the story of the baby’s birth. We take a great deal of care to
include the baby and to do the review very slowly, carefully tracking the baby’s
response. We pause when the baby responds or activates, to acknowledge, reflect,
empathize, allow the baby to energetically discharge any shock, help their potency
build, and to allow space for their system to settle (Castellino, 2000, Emerson, 1999,
Sills, 2001). When enough care is taken to build a supportive environment, the birth
review can be a powerful therapeutic process.
Sky was very present and quiet with his eyes closed lying on his stomach on
Dad’s lap. Mom was on the couch right next to them. Ray was positioned at Sky’s
feet with his hand on Sky’s back making contact and tracking Sky energetically. I
was sitting close by tracking Sky energetically also. As we ask the parents to talk
about the birth, we encourage that slow, quiet sharing in a delicate way to match
Sky’s quiet and receptive state. The process took most of an hour as we watched for
Sky’s responses to the story being told. At times he responded with sighs, increased
respiration, perturbation of his energetic system, mouthing and swallowing
movements and sounds and also once, with a smile. When his parents spoke of his
cord being cut so quickly, his system released some shock and he aroused with a
startle, lifting his head.
As we progressed we became aware of his possible beliefs and confusions. In
this vignette, a few key moments that illustrate his beliefs and our working with him
around these are extrapolated from the birth review. This was a pivotal session in
terms of understanding self-attachment, the imprinted disruptions in the process and
the vital implications for breastfeeding and relationship problems that could ensue.
For an in-depth piece on this that includes a transcription of much more of the
session, read Castellino (1997).
Dad and Mom were describing when he was suctioned with a bulb syringe first
and then again more deeply to remove the meconium from his airway. Dad said,
“They were talking among themselves (the medical staff)… “It’s below…’ They were
talking about the meconium.” Sky began to breathe faster as his dad spoke.
A few moments later Ray said quite slowly, “O.K. This is really important, Sky.
The reason why they did that was because they believed that you swallowed or
breathed some meconium and they wanted to make sure that was not in your airway
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
16
and they did it in a no-nonsense way.” Sky made throat sounds and his breathing
sped up. Ray said, “Yeh, I know it felt like that…It was hard.” Mom quietly adds,
“And they didn’t acknowledge your feelings either or treat you like a person.” I add,
“I’m sorry.” Sky swallows strongly. Ray responds, “That’s right and you can swallow
now.”
A few moments later, I said, “And you can tell Sky, that you are with Mom and
Dad now. We are going real slow and you are included now…that’s what sensations
around your mouth and throat meant back then. They were hard sensations.” Sky
swallowed and made mouthing motions.
Ray responded, “You can suck now. Sensations around your mouth can start to
feel really different now as you start to heal. It can include good feelings, secure,
connected slow feelings. It can feel and mean different things. It can feel really good
to have mommy’s milk; your milk. Going into your mouth and down your throat.”
I said, “Momma’s milk is really nourishing and good. Mom’s milk is safe to go
down. The meconium wasn’t. That’s why they needed to get it out of your mouth. I
think there is some confusion about that. Momma’s milk is healthy, nourishing and
good to go down. It’s okay. No one has to get that out. It is different now. It is
different. A different fluid in your mouth…”
A few minutes later Sky slowly opened his eyes and then began to root on his
father’s chest. His mom picked him up and brought him to the breast. Again, we
were going very slowly and appreciating the delicacy of the moment. As he started to
put his mouth around the nipple, his head bobbed back again, but not as strongly as
in the first session. He began to get upset and activated. He was both reaching out
to his mom with his hand and pulling away from her breast at the same time. His cry
and expression voiced his angst.
I respond with, “Sky you are here with Mom and not in the hospital. This is
about feeding from mom’s breast. And it can bring up some memories. I know you
are remembering back then. There are a lot of mixed feelings about coming to the
breast. It is different now. And when you are ready, you can find that out. When you
are ready, you can find out that Mama’s breast is different than back then. I know it
is scary. It’s scary. I know you don’t know until you try.”
Mom finally brought him up to be on her chest. He was reaching out with his
hand as intensity of his angst increased and continued. After a few minutes of
reflecting and empathizing, I made a more overt intervention. I matched his
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
17
intensity and said, “I’m going to make a statement for him: I want to nurse so
much, but it brings up so many feelings. It is so hard. It is so hard. I want to and it
is so hard. It is scary.” Sky, I can see it brings up that scary place … and you don’t
know. It’s scary to try again and to see if it really is different.” Sky immediately
quieted and settled, raising his head and said “Yeh,” as he rested his head on mom’s
chest.
The following week the parents reported two days after the session Sky nursed
for fifteen minutes for the first time. The next day he had been inconsolable and the
following day had been “his best day yet,” being more content, smiling, happier.
Since then he nursed successfully.
At some later date, we watched Sky’s birth on video. It was stunning. As we
watched the sequence of interventions, it was clear where Sky’s distinct head jerking
motion had begun. The movement matched the energy, rhythm, and intensity with
which the doctor had suctioned him with the bulb syringe. This interaction had been
the first sensations and encounter in the outer world and first sensations associated
with his mouth and throat. It became clear that when he started to put the breast in
his mouth, these beliefs, these perceptions and patterned responses would be
activated. We put that together with the messages and beliefs he was receiving
about what fluids mean going into his mouth: “They are unsafe and must not be
swallowed.” All these interventions happened just as he arrived. They became part of
the fabric and meaning of the journey of coming into the world and coming to the
breast.
If we look at his birth through the eyes of a traditional Newtonian paradigm, we
would focus on the medical interventions done as protocol to prevent infection. Yet
clearly, Sky shows us a broader impact of early intervention that needs to be
addressed. Although Sky’s first weeks were very difficult, a new story began to
emerge now. Utilizing the repatterning principles and understanding the power of our
beliefs--that Sky’s behavior was based on meaningful beliefs of the world and that
we could communicate together at levels of complexity far beyond what traditional
models would suggest--Sky was able to move into a more nourishing and happy life
based on more life enhancing beliefs.
These stories stand for many others not told. Once we have the conceptions and
perceptions to understand the language of beliefs, we can hear the stories babies are
telling and respond to them in more healing ways.
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
18
IN CONCLUSION
This paper has focused on illuminating the power of beliefs and what babies are
teaching us. Our earliest experiences lay the belief blueprints of our reality. Babies
show us their beliefs all the time because they live in the world of their beliefs. Their
beliefs come from a whole constellation of influences beginning with their own
consciousness and what they bring in, intertwining then with the beliefs already
embedded in their genetic material at conception from generations before them.
Beliefs also come from their parents—the guardians of their earliest
experiences—from their parents’ conscious and unconscious realms, their present
and past, as well as from environmental factors, other people, and energies around
them. During conception, pregnancy and birth, these influences form a rich
constellation, a synergy of impact, as they become embedded in the experiences
that form our blueprint for life in the physical world.
Although these early belief blueprints can become entrenched and continue for a
lifetime, when brought to awareness and worked with directly, they are quite
changeable. This paper portrayed one way to work with babies’ beliefs. The new field
of energy psychology is opening up more ways to directly access and restructure
constricting beliefs into more life enhancing ones. In working with beliefs, we are
accessing the very foundation of organization of our reality. We are able to work
directly to recalibrate and reorganize at a primary level affecting us on multiple
levels--physical, energetic, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
We can help babies repattern beliefs of constriction, fear, violence and
separation into beliefs of connection and growth; beliefs that will help them
experience the joy of living in a friendly, healthy world.
In his book, Reinventing Medicine: Beyond Mind-Body to a New Era of Healing,
Larry Dossey, M.D. calls for an evolution of medicine (1999). He articulates three
eras of medicine. Era I Medicine focuses on physical medicine and is rooted in the
Newtonian paradigm, thus a mechanical view of the human being. Surgery,
procedures, drugs are the means of intervention. Era II Medicine includes mind-body
and looks at the impact of consciousness within the person on their health and well-
being. Dossey favors a shift in medicine into what he has described as Era III
Medicine. This era stands on the premise that we are primarily consciousness in
human form and calls for the inclusion of a broader spectrum of human experience
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
19
and therapeutic interventions. Dossey has reported extensively on the use of
interventions that incorporate transpersonal skills such as intuition, distant healing,
practitioner intention, and spiritual connection (1982, 1989, 1993, 1999, 2001).
I believe it is vital for those of us in the healing arts working with prenates and
babies to broaden our views of babies and the ways we can help them, based on the
premise that we are primarily consciousness. Many in our field have carried this
torch for years, and I acknowledge and am grateful to them. Jenny Wade (1996) led
the way in developmental theory with her groundbreaking transpersonal model of
development that incorporates prenatal and perinatal psychology research and
perspectives.
I call on the many complementary fields dealing with infants and infant
development and intervention to incorporate consciousness in their
conceptualizations and research. The next step in my mind is to translate what this
premise means in terms of learning to read babies’ language of beliefs and to relate
with them at a whole new depth that accesses not only more of who they are, but
more of who we are as well.
During the prenatal and infancy period, babies are beautifully open to learning
and connecting at a profound level. Many of us spend much of our lives seeking to
touch that potential again through love, beauty, solitude, meditation and prayer in
order to re-connect with the Divine. Often though, because of our wounded
beginnings, the pathway to our soul has been etched in sorrow, tragedy, and
loneliness. What pathways do we want babies to have?
In those months in the womb and infancy, babies have the potential to develop
pathways of growth and loving connection. Those early experiences deeply
interweave the perspectives of consciousness as they transition to physical life,
experiences that intertwine the physical and non-physical realms of experience. The
more we can hold this richer perspective for the baby, the more this synergy of Self
in human form can become the beliefs blueprint for life. When we hold this, the
sacred journey of consciousness can again take priority and we can create more
pathways of exploration of human life filled with deeper connections to the Divine, to
self, others, humanity, and to the earth herself.
As the Beatles sang, “And the world would be a better place for you, for me. You
just wait and see!”
The Power of Beliefs: What Babies Are Teaching UsWendy Anne McCarty, Ph.D.
This article was originally published in APPPAH Journal, Vol 16(4), Summer 2002.Copyright 2002 Wendy Anne McCarty. To order copies: www.wondrousbeginnings.com
20
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