a covenant of love - st. joseph parish booklet.pdf · will be making a covenant to spend the ... to...

A COVENANT OF LOVE

Your Preparation Guide for Catholic Marriage

3

INDEX

Marriage Preparation Requirements…………………………………… 5-6 FOCCUS PreCana God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage Engaged Encounter

Pre-Marital Checklist……………………………………………………. 7 Scheduling Your Wedding……………………………………………… 8 Required Documents……………………………………………………. 9 Marriage Legality……………………………………………………….. 9

If Previously Married Marriage License

Church Environment……………………………………………………. 10

The Sanctity of the Space Decorations and Flowers Modesty and Proper Dress

Photography and Videography………………………………………… 11 Music…………………………………………………………………… 11 Fees…………………………………………………………………….. 12 Program Template …………………………………………………….. 13/14 Liturgical Norms of the Diocese of Harrisburg……………………….. 15-22

Marriage as a Sacrament…………………………………… 15 Presentation of Flowers to the Blessed Mother …………… 21 Unity Candle……………………………………………….. 21

PreCana Registration Form …………………………………………….. 23 God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Registration Form…………………………. 25 Engaged Encounter Weekend Registration Form………………………. 27

9/19/14

5

MARRIAGE PREPARATION

Introduction: Congratulations on your engagement! During the next several months, you and your partner will be making a covenant to spend the rest of your lives together. You have many preparations to make before your wedding day—from setting the date and informing your families, to buying special clothes and sending out invitations. When a couple decides to get married, it is a time of grace and growth. It is also a time of many details and some anxiety. The Church desires to help couples prepare themselves to live this sacrament and to celebrate their marriage with dignity and joy. This preparation is required for all Catholics who intend to get married, even if the marriage is at a non-Catholic church. The priests of the parish are happy to answer specific questions about Church theology, policies, and practices on marriage. The following is a summary of the specific steps of marriage preparation. The Catholic Church wants to help the two of you with the most important of these preparations—your spiritual preparation for a lifelong commitment. In support of this goal, St. Joseph Church presents to you this comprehensive guide to planning a wedding at this parish. Marriage Preparation Requirements: To ensure that all engaged couples understand the sacramental meaning to the Catholic wedding ceremony, the Diocese of Harrisburg requires you and your fiancé(e) to attend marriage preparation programs prior to your wedding. You may choose one of the following options:

Complete the FOCCUS survey AND attend PreCana, AND attend God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage;

OR

Complete the FOCCUS survey AND attend an Engaged Encounter Weekend FOCCUS Survey: “FOCCUS” stands for “Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding & Study”. This survey is administered by the priest or deacon who will be witnessing your marriage, and is completed prior to PreCana, God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage, or an Engaged Encounter weekend. The priest or deacon will discuss the results of the survey with you and your fiancé(e) individually, then together as a couple. This survey helps the couple to identify the areas in which they agree, and the areas that will be challenging to them in their married life. Most couples find that FOCCUS is a helpful tool to promote honest communication of their hopes and fears. To schedule an appointment to complete the FOCCUS survey, contact the priest or deacon you have chosen to witness your marriage. PreCana: PreCana is held at St. Joseph Church over one weekend. The session begins at 6:45pm Friday evening and continues at 8:45am Saturday morning. There is a break for lunch on Saturday and dinner is provided after the 5:00 Mass Saturday evening (both meals are included with your fee). PreCana is presented by married volunteers of the parish who share experiences from their marriages. They will lead you through exercises designed to generate discussion between you and your partner about subjects you may or may not have already discussed. Through these discussions we hope you will learn something new about each other and gain a greater appreciation of each other’s different attitudes and beliefs.

6

PreCana covers seven topics: Communication, Past, Family Origins, Sexuality, Children, Finances/Friends/Work/Leisure Time, and Spirituality. Throughout the sessions, couples do workbook exercises that help them discover differences and similarities in their backgrounds. After discussing the exercises privately, you will participate in a small group discussion, facilitated by the married volunteers.

PreCana Registration costs $100 per couple, and is handled by the Parish Office. Send the enclosed PreCana Registration Form, along with a check for $100 made payable to St. Joseph Church, Attn: PreCana, St. Joseph Church, 2935 Kingston Rd., York, PA 17402. If you have any questions regarding registration, you can contact the Parish Office at 717-755-7503.

God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage: “God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage” is a one-day seminar hosted by the Diocese of Harrisburg at either the Diocesan Center (4800 Union Deposit Rd., Harrisburg, PA 17111) or at a local parish within the diocese. Though the seminar is sometimes held at St. Joseph Church, registration is always handled through the Diocese (717-657-4804, ext. 317). “God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage” introduces engaged couples to St. Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. It is a day of meditation and reflection on how living God’s plan for marriage is what ultimately brings a couple deep happiness and joy. Through a series of talks by couple presenters, a priest, and video presentations by Christopher West, engaged couples learn about the beauty of sacramental marriage and sacramental sexuality. The program was developed by the Theology of the Body Institute and is published by Ascension Press. It is an engaging program that takes a new approach to the critical issues of premarital sex, contraception and pornography, each of which adversely affect the health of today’s marriages.

With so many marriages ending in divorce today, “God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage” aims to expose how the culture has shaped our views of sexuality and marriage in a way that goes against what God intended the union of man and woman to be. In addition, in a talk entitled “What are you saying I Do to?” couples take an in-depth look at the marriage vows, what they mean and how to really live them in their future marriage. Married love, properly understood and lived, is free, total, faithful and fruitful and becomes a sacramental sign to others of God’s love.

The final talks of the day introduce the engaged couples to the concepts and benefits of Natural Family Planning as a way to live this free, total, faithful and fruitful love. In offering this program, the diocese hopes to give couples this understanding of marriage as the image of Trinitarian or “heavenly” love that it really is, and the tools to live a “joy-filled” marriage. Written by Grace Targonski, Diocesan Director of Natural Family Planning and Theology of the Body Ministries,

The Catholic Witness, 2/13/09.

Engaged Encounter Weekend: Engaged Encounter is a weekend away that encompasses PreCana and God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage, combined. It allows engaged couples to thoroughly explore the quality of their relationship. The weekends are held at a Retreat Center. Each weekend is presented by a team of two married couples and a priest who presents starter talks on various topics such as communications, sexuality and finances. Couples spend most of their time sharing with each other their thoughts and observations. Engaged Encounter is focused on private (rather than group) discussion. It is time for couples to explore their relationship without outside interference. The weekend begins Friday at 7:30pm and concludes by 5:00pm on Sunday. You stay for the entire weekend, overnight, in separate rooms, likely with a roommate of the same sex. For more information visit www.engagedencounter.org/FAQ. To register, call the Diocese of Harrisburg Family Ministries Office at 717-657-4804, ext. 317.

7

PRE-MARITAL CHECKLIST

9-12 Months before the Wedding: Pray together with your intended spouse, to seek God’s loving guidance as you begin to make decisions about your future together. Meet with your parish priest or deacon—he will do the initial paperwork with you, give you a copy of the Marriage Preparation brochure, and tell you how to register for required programs. At this point you will tentatively set a wedding date. At this session the priest or deacon will probably give you information on how wedding liturgies are planned in your parish. This includes information on musicians and what music is acceptable in the wedding liturgy.

Immediately after you meet with your priest or deacon, register for either PreCana and God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage or Engaged Encounter. Register at least four weeks before your desired program date.

Make arrangements with the priest or deacon to conduct the FOCCUS survey, and follow through with the arrangements. Participate in PreCana in your parish and attend God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage; or

attend an Engaged Encounter weekend. At Least 6 Months before the Wedding:

Return to your priest or deacon and discuss your marriage preparation so far. The priest or deacon will finalize your wedding date with you at this point and explain the next steps to you.

Contact the parish music director about planning for the marriage rite.

Discuss with your priest, deacon, or parish sacristan what flower arrangements are acceptable for a wedding in the parish church.

In regards to Natural Family Planning, begin charting so that you are comfortable with the method before your marriage. If you are an interchurch or interfaith couple, be sure to meet with the clergy of the other

faith tradition so that you both have a clear understanding of the other faith. At Least 3 Months before the Wedding:

Complete any additional sessions with your priest or deacon, where he will instruct you further on the Sacrament of Marriage.

Finalize the plans for your wedding liturgy. You will have a choice of readings from the Bible that you can choose with your priest or deacon. In most cases you will plan the music with the assistance of the parish organist or music director. If you will be using a printed wedding program, this is a good time to finalize what will be

in it. Remember, you must have reprint permissions for any songs that are reproduced in the program, and you must include copyright information. The parish will be able to assist you with this.

One Week to One Day prior to the Wedding:

Register as a new family in the parish office.

Rehearse the wedding ceremony at the parish.

Participate in the Sacrament of Penance (Reconciliation/Confession).

Continue to pray together with your intended spouse, so that your life together may be an abundant blessing to you, your family, and the Church.

8

POLICIES OF ST. JOSEPH CHURCH Introduction: The celebration of Christian Marriage is a unique moment in the life of the Church. The Community is called to rejoice in a special way when a bride and groom commit themselves to each other in faith and love for life. As the Apostle Paul tells us, this is a mystery, “a great foreshadowing,” of the love that God has for all His people. A Christian Marriage is truly a religious as well as a secular event. As husband and wife, you will officially commit yourselves to one another before Almighty God and the community of the Church with the priest or deacon as the Church’s witness. This will raise your relationship to the level of a Sacrament, a holy union binding until death. So it is clearly a solemn event. Everything you plan to surround this event should be fitting to the occasion. The Staff of St. Joseph Parish is prepared to support you and to assist you in making appropriate decisions. Scheduling Your Wedding: The Diocese of Harrisburg requires that arrangements for the celebration of marriage must be made at least four months in advance of the proposed wedding date, though it is recommended you begin your preparations at least 9-12 months in advance. Avoid renting a hall or making other commitments until you have spoken with the priest or deacon and confirmed the date and time of the wedding. A ceremony is not guaranteed until the premarital investigation and instruction are successfully completed.

St. Joseph Church will be made available for weddings of members of St. Joseph Parish on a “first come, first served” basis. Couples who are not members of St. Joseph Parish may celebrate marriage here, provided that at least one is a practicing Catholic, and permission of the proper pastor has been granted. Permission is never granted for the wedding to take place anywhere other than a church. Special permission must be obtained when the wedding takes place at another church which is not your parish church.

As a rule, Saturday weddings may be scheduled at 11:00 AM or 2:00 PM. In a sense of fairness to everyone, each couple will be allotted three hours in the church on the day of the wedding. This time limit includes one hour before the ceremony, one hour for the ceremony and one hour for pictures and/or receiving line. Celebrant: Ordinarily, a priest or a deacon currently assigned to St. Joseph parish will officiate at marriages taking place at St. Joseph Church. Exceptions to this rule will be made only for Catholic priests and deacons who have permission from the pastor of St. Joseph Church. All visiting clergy must follow the guidelines for marriage set out by the Diocese of Harrisburg and St. Joseph Parish. Mixed Marriages: A marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic is called a Mixed Religion Marriage. In such marriages, the Catholic partner is required to promise to do his/her best to rear any children in the Catholic tradition. This promise is made with the full knowledge of the non-Catholic party.

9

Working with the Priest or Deacon: In the course of your preparation for married life, you will meet about four or five times with the priest or the deacon who is to preside at your ceremony . The initial interviews with the priest are intended to document and establish an engaged couple’s understanding of the Church’s expectation of those who are to be married in the Church and their readiness to carry it out. Documents Needed by the Priest for a Catholic Wedding: Baptismal and Confirmation Certificates For Catholics—a fresh baptismal certificate with notation of Confirmation. “Fresh” means

it has to be reissued to you by the parish of your Baptism no more than six months prior to the wedding. If you were baptized at St. Joseph Church, you can simply inform the priest or deacon and the parish secretary will issue the certificate.

For Baptized non-Catholics—simply bring the original certificate of your baptism which the priest or deacon will copy, or bring a letter from the Minister of the Church where you were baptized stating when and where the Baptism occurred.

FOCCUS Completion Certificate; PreCana and God’s Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage or Engaged Encounter Certificate; Two witnesses verifying freedom to marry (not required in all cases). In order to

establish the freedom of the bride and groom to marry, the signed testimony of four witnesses is required, two for each party.

If Either Party Was Married Previously: Be certain to inform the priest or the deacon at your first meeting if you have been married previously. Any previously married person must provide a decree of nullity issued by a Catholic Church Marriage Tribunal, or a death certificate for the previous spouse(s). Marriage License: A Marriage License may be obtained from the Clerk of Orphans’ Court located at the York County Court House. There is a three-day waiting period for all licenses. The license is valid for 60 days. You must present the marriage license to the priest or the deacon before the wedding rehearsal. We recommend that you bring it a week in advance, but certainly no later than the rehearsal itself, so that it can be properly endorsed by the priest or deacon before the wedding. Other Ministers: Friends and relatives of the couple may participate in the liturgy as readers, servers, or in other functions if they so desire, provided that they are competent in the function they are to fulfill. Those chosen as ministers who do not regularly function at St. Joseph Parish must attend the rehearsal. We strongly suggest that children who participate in the ceremony be at least of school age because younger children often become distressed and overwhelmed by the crowd and the strange environment.

10

The Church Environment, Decorations and Flowers: St. Joseph Church building is the worship space of this parish community and calls for attitudes of reverence and respect. Decorations, candles, and other furnishings already present in the church may not be moved without explicit permission of the priest or the deacon. Current liturgical law and practice prohibits the use of flowers at weddings during Lent. Flowers are permitted in front of the candlesticks on either side of the sanctuary and in the

narthex of the church. No formal arrangements or other decorations are to be placed in front of the Emmaus scene woodcarving. It is requested that flowers used to decorate the church and narthex be left for the weekend Masses.

St. Joseph church has a non-slip tile floor in the aisles, which becomes slippery and

dangerous when runners or flower petals are placed on it. Therefore, for the safety of the couple and their guests, the use of aisle runners and flower petals is strictly prohibited.

NOTHING may be taped to the pews, altar or any other furnishing in the church or narthex.

Ribbons and rubber bands (which do not harm the furniture) may be substituted. Balloons are forbidden inside the church and narthex.

The wedding party is responsible for removing all ribbons, bows, boxes, bags, hangers,

clothing and other extraneous items from the dressing areas, restrooms, narthex and church before vacating the building after the ceremony.

No smoking is permitted in any area of the church building. All questions recording decorations, flowers and the church environment can be directed to our parish sacristan, Carolyn Milano at 755-7503, ext. 232 or [email protected]. The Sanctuary, Altar and Ambo: In current Catholic theology, the altar table is the most sacred furnishing of the church and is reserved for the celebration of the Eucharist, the memorial of the Last Supper. Only the needed bread, wine, and ceremonial books are placed on the altar. No flowers, unity candle, or other decoration should be placed on the altar itself, or obstruct it in any way. The ambo is the reading stand at which the Word of God is proclaimed and preached. It should be treated in the same fashion as the altar. A Note on Modesty at Mass: In God’s House, there is a different standard of decorum and dress. Out of respect for God, the priest, and other parishioners and guests of the parish, it is important to choose clothing for Mass that is modest. This means women and girls of all ages should not wear clothing that reveals any cleavage or bare shoulders. Skirts should be worn at a length just above the knee or longer. Shorts, blue jeans, T-shirts and tennis shoes are not appropriate for Mass on men, women or children. Mass is a celebration of a Sacrament, before God, and should not be considered an appropriate occasion to make a fashion statement or to reveal anything that should be reserved for spouses alone.

11

Rice, Birdseed, and Confetti: The throwing of rice, birdseed, confetti and other objects is strictly forbidden. This custom originates from pagan fertility rites and is not appropriate in the Christian celebration of marriage. Rice, birdseed and confetti also cause walkways to become slippery and dangerous, not to mention the tedious cleanup they require. Alcohol: There are to be no alcoholic beverages brought to, or consumed at the church or on church property at any time. Other foods and beverages may be consumed only in the dressing areas. Rehearsal: The wedding rehearsal is usually scheduled the night before the wedding itself, although it may be at another time agreed upon by you and whoever is doing the rehearsal for you. The rehearsal may take up to, but not exceed 60 minutes. Please make sure that the entire wedding party is present and on time since another rehearsal may be scheduled after yours. Photography and Videography: Your wedding celebration is a special day you will want to remember throughout your lives. While photographers and videographers are welcome, they are reminded that the solemnity of the Sacrament in the present moment must not be interfered with. To ensure that all of our liturgical celebrations are first and foremost events of prayer, we hold the following policy regarding photography and videography: Photographers/videographers may use the area to the left of the altar, near the flexible seating, and the area across the back and behind the pews taking care not to block the view of worshippers. Posed photographs may be taken in the church after the ceremony. Photographers/videographers should consult with the priest or the deacon in advance of the ceremony. Music: Once you and the priest or the deacon have agreed upon a date and time, contact the Parish Director of Music Ministry, Mrs. Beth Pugliese, 717-755-7503, ext. 229 or [email protected] to secure a musician for the ceremony. Beth is fully instructed in, and obliged to enforce both Diocesan and Parish policies regarding music. She is knowledgeable of the numerous possibilities for music at weddings and will be available to assist you with suggestions and choices. If you choose to ask people outside our parish musicians, please consult with Beth for guidance and recommendations.

12

Fees: Preparing for the wedding liturgy requires the time, energy, and talent of many people. As you express your gratitude to those who have helped in the wedding celebration, the following guidelines are recommended: Parishioner* Non-Parishioner

Priest or Deacon $250.00 $450.00

Use of Building $300.00 $500.00

Music Director $175.00 $175.00

-Fee must be paid even if an outside organist is used by the bride and groom.

-This fee includes one meeting with the couple, presence at the rehearsal and playing at the wedding.

Wedding Sacristan $100.00 $100.00

-The Sacristan will be at rehearsal and wedding.

Altar Servers (each) $10.00 $10.00

Final payments must be made two weeks prior to the Wedding. *Parishioner Rate is available when either the bride or groom, or both, live within the parish boundaries (York County, PA) and have been registered in St. Joseph Parish for at least one year prior to the date of the wedding.

13

PROGRAM TEMPLATE FOR MARRIAGE WITH MASS

Date of the Wedding: __________________ Priest or Deacon: ___________________________

GROOM: ___________________________ BRIDE: _________________________________

Father: ______________________________ Father: __________________________________

Mother: _____________________________ Mother: _________________________________

Best Man: ___________________________ Maid/Matron of Honor: _____________________

Ringer Bearer: _______________________ Flower Girl: ______________________________

Groomsmen: _________________________ Bridesmaids: ______________________________ ____________________________________ _________________________________________ ____________________________________ _________________________________________ ____________________________________ _________________________________________ ____________________________________ _________________________________________ Musicians: Cantor: ______________________________ Organist: _________________________________ Order of the Mass:

INTRODUCTORY RITE

Entrance Procession: _____________________ Welcome Opening Prayer

LITURGY OF THE WORD

First Reading: ___________________________ Read by: _________________________________

Responsorial Psalm: ______________________

Second Reading: _________________________ Read by: _________________________________

Gospel Reading: _________________________

Homily RITE OF MARRIAGE

Exchange of Wedding Vows Blessing of Rings Prayer of the Faithful Read by: __________________________________

LITURGY OF THE EUCHARIST

Presentation of the Gifts: Bought forward by: ______________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________

Eucharistic Prayer Our Father Nuptial Blessing Sign of Peace Communion Final Blessing

14

PROGRAM TEMPLATE FOR MARRIAGE WITHOUT MASS

Date of the Wedding: __________________ Priest or Deacon: ___________________________ GROOM: ___________________________ BRIDE: _________________________________ Father: ______________________________ Father: __________________________________

Mother: _____________________________ Mother: _________________________________

Best Man: ___________________________ Maid/Matron of Honor: _____________________

Ringer Bearer: _______________________ Flower Girl: ______________________________

Groomsmen: _________________________ Bridesmaids: ______________________________ ____________________________________ _________________________________________ ____________________________________ _________________________________________ ____________________________________ _________________________________________ ____________________________________ _________________________________________ Musicians: Cantor: ______________________________ Organist: _________________________________ Order of the Ceremony:

INTRODUCTORY RITE

Entrance Procession: _____________________ Welcome Opening Prayer

LITURGY OF THE WORD

First Reading: ___________________________ Read by: _________________________________

Responsorial Psalm: ______________________

Second Reading: _________________________ Read by: _________________________________

Gospel Reading: _________________________

Homily RITE OF MARRIAGE

Exchange of Wedding Vows Blessing of Rings Prayer of the Faithful Read by: __________________________________

Nuptial Blessing Our Father Final Blessing

15

THE CEREMONY—LITURGICAL NORMS FOR THE CELEBRATION OF THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE—DIOCESE OF HARRISBURG

These Liturgical Norms for the Sacrament of Marriage were promulgated by Bishop Kevin C.

Rhoades on January 12, 2009 and were placed into effect in the Diocese of Harrisburg on March 1, 2009. Questions regarding these norms should be addressed to:

The Office of Worship Diocese of Harrisburg

4800 Union Deposit Road PO Box 2153

Harrisburg, PA 17105-2153 Telephone 717-657-4804, ext. 353

Fax 717-657-2453 [email protected]

Introduction: This document is normative in the Diocese of Harrisburg and is offered to help couples celebrate their marriage in an authentic, Christian way. These norms especially try to channel the joy and happiness of the moment into a celebration worthy of our belief that human love is founded in the love of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit shared with us. These norms complement the 1969 Rite of Marriage, and the 1983 Revised Code of Canon Law. While these norms give some directives, they are intended to be no more restrictive than necessary and are offered in a spirit of Christian joy and celebration. Planning the Catholic Marriage Ceremony: Planning the wedding liturgy should be a very prayerful and pleasant experience. The bride and groom will quite naturally want to assure the full, active and conscious participation of those who have gathered in celebration at the wedding ceremony. These norms are designed to help plan a beautiful and appropriate ceremony in conjunction with the guidance received from the parish clergy and staff. It is necessary for the couple to speak with the priest or deacon coordinating the couple’s marriage preparation and celebration before any liturgical plans are made. In addition, the couple will need to meet with the parish’s music director (organist) regarding the selection of music for the wedding. Couples should be advised of the diocesan and parish music policies as soon as they begin to make marriage preparations. Marriage as a Sacrament: Marriage is one of the seven Sacraments of the Church. It is within the Church that marriage is first celebrated and then lived out until death. While many see the marriage ceremony as “the bride’s day” or “the groom’s day,” Catholics see the wedding day as “our day.” On the wedding day, the newly married couple is sent forth by Christ, within his Church, to be witnesses of God’s love to the world in a special manner. By the action of their love, they are to mirror the ever faithful, lifelong, and creative love God has for the world. They become partners with the Church as they witness their love and God’s love to the world in their vocation to marriage.

16

Choice of Ceremony: The Rite of Marriage provides three forms for celebrating marriage in the Roman Catholic Church: (Two baptized is a Sacrament, Non-Baptized is not a Sacrament)

The Rite for Celebrating Marriage During Mass is normally used when two Catholics marry. The Rite for Celebrating Marriage Outside Mass is normally used when a Catholic marries a

baptized person from another Christian church or ecclesial community. (RM 8) The Rite for Celebrating Marriage Between a Catholic and an Unbaptized Person must be used

when a Catholic marries someone who is not a baptized Christian. Mass is prohibited in this situation. (RM 8)

The decision regarding which form of celebration of the Rite of Marriage is made in consultation with the priest or deacon who is preparing the couple for marriage. For Mixed Marriages, please refer to the Guidelines for Mixed Marriage Celebration and Preparation Between Episcopalians, Lutherans, and Roman Catholics in Central Pennsylvania and the 1993 Directory for Ecumenism. The Rite of Marriage is a public, sacred, and official liturgical celebration of the Church. It must be celebrated with reverence following the approved ritual of the Roman Catholic Church. All ceremonies are to reflect the distinctive quality of Christian faith, with special attention given to the couple promising to live together in loving trust and fidelity, and the nuptial blessing over them. Persons with Special Needs: The needs of persons with disabilities should be taken into consideration, whether the persons are in the wedding party, participants in the liturgy or in the congregation. Entrance Procession: The Rite of Marriage (RM 19-20) envisions the entrance procession to be similar to what takes place at Sunday Mass. The procession would include the celebrant and servers carrying the cross (and candles). Even the lector(s) may be part of the procession. Those in the procession may go to the door of the church where the celebrant welcomes the couple and leads them to their place at the altar. The servers go first in the procession, followed by (the lector,) the celebrant and then the bride and bridegroom. The couple may be escorted by their parents and preceded in the procession by two canonical witnesses (the best man and maid of honor) and other attendants. What is often referred to as the “traditional procession” may be used in the Diocese of Harrisburg according to long-standing and legitimate custom. In fact, it can easily be incorporated into the liturgical procession envisioned by the Rite of Marriage. For example, the bride may be escorted by her father. A suggested procession in this case would be the ministers followed by the celebrant followed by the groomsmen followed by the groom followed by the bridesmaids followed by the bride and her father. In this situation, intervals in the procession are possible (e.g. after the celebrant reaches the altar, after the groom reaches the front of the church). It would also be possible for the groomsmen and bridesmaids to process together as pairs. During the procession, music may be played or the entrance song is sung (see below). Opening Hymn: The Rite of Marriage (RM 20) envisions the congregation singing an entrance song. This hymn opens the celebration and unifies the people who have gathered. This song may be sung during the procession or begun once everyone in the procession reaches the altar. An option is to chant one of the proper entrance antiphons from the Ritual Mass for Marriage as found in the Roman Missal. The singing at this time is done either alternately by the choir and the people or in a similar way by the cantor and the people, or entirely by the people, or by the choir alone. (GIRM 48)

17

Placing of the Wedding Party: The couple should be given a place of honor in a visible, prominent location. Chairs should be provided for the couple to be seated during appropriate times. The couple may choose to have the two canonical witnesses (the maid/matron of honor and best man) seated near them. The bride and groom (and maid of honor and best man) should assume the posture of the rest of the community during the Liturgy. If the Rite for Celebrating Marriage takes place during Mass, kneelers should be provided for the bride and groom (and the maid/matron of honor and best man). All other members of the wedding party should have places in the assembly in the front pews of the nave.

Liturgy of the Word: The Liturgy of the Word is one of the principal parts of the celebration. There may be one or two scripture texts in addition to a sung responsorial psalm, a sung Gospel acclamation and the Gospel itself. Only selections from Scripture may be used. The Conferral of the Sacrament of Marriage section of the Lectionary for Ritual Masses supplies many options. The parish should provide the couple with scripture readings from which they may select. It is expected that the readings will be read directly from the Lectionary during the Rite of Marriage. When a wedding is celebrated on a Solemnity of the Liturgical Year, the Mass of the day is to be used. One reading from the Conferral of the Sacrament of Marriage section of the Lectionary for Ritual Masses may be substituted. Consult the Rite of Marriage, paragraph #11 for details. The lector should be well prepared and comfortable with speaking (reading) before a group. If the Rite of Marriage takes place during Mass, the lector should be a practicing Catholic. On exceptional occasions and for a just cause, the bishop of the diocese may permit a member of another Christian church or ecclesial community to take on the task of reader during a wedding Mass. For more information, see the 1993 Vatican Directory for the Application of Principles and Norms on Ecumenism paragraphs 133 and 135. The Gospel is proclaimed only by a Catholic deacon or priest. Following the Gospel, the priest or deacon gives a homily.

Exchange of Consent: Because this is the central element in the Rite of Marriage, the couple should move to a prominent place before the assembly and face each other for an exchange of their vows. The form of the vows must be from among those given in the Rite of Marriage. Therefore, the couple may not compose their own vows and adaptation is not allowed. The couple exchanges consent in one of the three ways listed in the Rite of Marriage #25. The Catholic priest or deacon receiving the vows should stand near the couple. The priest/deacon obtains their consent in question form to which the bride and groom respond individually, “I do.”

General Intercessions: The General Intercessions follow the consent and the blessing/exchange of rings. The person chosen to read the General Intercessions should be capable and rehearsed. The couple may compose the petitions, which are to include the following prayers:

for the whole Church for civil concerns for those oppressed by any need for the newly married couple and/or all newly married couples (and for their families) for the assembled congregation.

Many marriage preparation booklets provide examples of these prayers. The celebrant introduces and concludes the intercessions. The priest or deacon celebrating the Rite of Marriage must approve intercessions composed by the couple.

18

Presentation of the Gifts: When the marriage is celebrated during Mass, the bread and wine to be consecrated are brought in procession to the priest by members of the congregation. Those who are to participate in the presentation of the bread and wine should be properly informed of what will be expected of them. Gifts to meet the needs of the poor may also be brought forward in the procession. No other gifts or symbols may be presented in the procession.

Nuptial Blessing: When the marriage is celebrated during Mass, the nuptial blessing takes place after the Lord’s Prayer. The Lord’s Prayer is a prayer of the community and should be said or sung by all. When marriage is celebrated outside Mass, the nuptial blessing replaces the concluding prayer of the general intercessions.

Sign of Peace: For marriages celebrated during Mass, the Sign of Peace may be exchanged by the whole assembly. The couple may go to their families and to the other members of the wedding party. This greeting, however, should not unduly delay the liturgy.

Holy Communion: Properly mandated Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion may assist with the distribution of Holy Communion when needed during Mass. They are to be vested in albs. When marriage is celebrated during Mass, the Guidelines for Receiving Communion, from the Bishop’s Committee on the Liturgy, (or a simpler but clear and accurate form) should be included in the printed program, especially if the invited guests will include members of other faith traditions. At his own discretion, the priest may wish to make an announcement either at the beginning of the Mass or immediately after his own reception of Holy Communion. This announcement should be short and succinct. The following example might be used:

Catholics believe that the Eucharist is the true Body and Blood of Jesus Christ and that our sharing in the Eucharist is the sign of our oneness and unity in the Catholic Church. We invite Catholics who are prepared and properly disposed to receive Holy Communion today to come forward at this time. Others present not receiving Holy Communion today are invited to join with us in prayer and song.

Music: Music brings a sense of unity and a quality of joy that cannot be gained in any other way. Hence, music is integral to the marriage celebration and must be chosen carefully. All the music chosen for the wedding liturgy (both sung and instrumental) must be sacred in nature and purpose. There is an abundance of beautiful and appropriate music (old and new) available to help the couple celebrate the presence of God in their lives and reflect the special Christian significance of their wedding. The couple should meet with the parish music director (organist) well in advance of the wedding date and before choosing music for the wedding. At this meeting the parish musician should demonstrate the wide range of sacred music acceptable for the celebration. Keep in mind that the parish musicians may have the right to provide music for every ceremony that takes place within the parish church. The parish may have a well-defined policy regarding this. All contracts between the parish and parish musicians are honored by the Diocese of Harrisburg. The musical selections made for the wedding liturgy should be, liturgically, pastorally, and aesthetically appropriate.

19

The lyrics should accurately articulate the Catholic faith and express the Sacrament of Marriage’s participation in the Paschal Mystery of Jesus Christ. Every song selected should be judged with these points:

Do the words express a Christian view of love? Does the music in the celebration enable the people to accurately express their faith? Does a particular selection enhance that part of the ritual where it occurs? Does the music promote and further the progress of the ceremony without causing a delay? Is the music technically good and appropriate for the Sacred Liturgy?

Any music associated with situations and activities that contradict Christian values is obviously not permitted because it would offend the Christian community gathered around the couple in faith. The following music and related types of music are not permitted at weddings in the Diocese of Harrisburg:

Songs from Broadway musicals, movies, or television shows whose associations are secular rather than sacred.

The traditional Wedding March, “Here Comes the Bride,” because it is associated with an illegal and illicit ceremony in the opera Lohengrin (Wagner); Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March”, because of its association to a farcical wedding in the opera Midsummer Night’s Dream;

Any “classical” pieces that were composed for secular and not liturgical purposes. Any music that refers only to the secular nature of love and bears no reference to the

Christian concept of love and/or marriage. Music which appeals to the couple personally, and which is of a nonreligious nature, may be incorporated into another part of the day (e.g., the wedding reception). To be very specific, non-religious music does not have a place before, after, or within the Church’s wedding liturgy since it does not express the Church’s faith—the reason for which the wedding is taking place. The Christian community gathered around the couple should be allowed the opportunity to express themselves to God in song as they do at every other liturgy of the Church. For this reason, familiar arrangements used regularly at Sunday Mass are ideal. The following are times that the entire assembly should be participating in the music:

During the opening song or chant. After the first reading, the cantor sings the psalm verses and all sing the response. The Gospel acclamation. If the Rite of Marriage is celebrated during Mass, the Sanctus, Memorial Acclamation,

Great Amen, the Agnus Dei, and the communion song or chant. Music for solo voice, for choir alone, or for instruments alone can embellish the celebration before and after the liturgy, as well as during the preparation of gifts. As a general norm, recorded music should never be used within the Liturgy and should never replace the singing of the people (Sing to the Lord: Music in Divine Worship 94).

20

A cantor should be used for the wedding liturgy. The cantor aids the worshipping community and the movement of the ceremony by leading the congregation in the entrance song or chant, the responsorial psalm, and the Gospel acclamation. If the Rite of Marriage takes place during Mass, the cantor also leads the community in singing the Eucharistic acclamations, and the communion song or chant. The importance of sacred silence in the wedding liturgy should be remembered. God is revealed both in the beauty of song and in the power of silence. The Sacred Liturgy has a rhythm of texts, actions, songs, and silence. Silence allows the community to reflect on what it has heard and experienced, and to open its heart to the mystery celebrated. (Sing to the Lord: Music in Divine Worship 118). Copyright Reprint Permissions: If a wedding program is to be printed, all reprint permissions must be secured and the proper copyright information must be included in the program. All copyright fees must be paid. It is a serious legal and moral infringement to reproduce copyrighted material without proper permission. Day, Time and Location: Marriages are not to be scheduled on Sundays [or holy days of obligation]. Marriages are not to take place after 4:00 PM on Saturdays. For a just cause, in individual cases, a dispensation from this norm can be sought from the diocesan bishop. Canon 1118 of the Code of Canon Law requires that Catholics be married in a parish church unless some other provisions have been permitted by the bishop. Catholic may not be married outdoors in the Diocese of Harrisburg whether the wedding takes place within Mass or outside of Mass. Photographs and Videography: The Diocese of Harrisburg respects the photo/video policies of individual parishes. If photographs are permitted before, during or after the marriage ceremony, the photographer is requested to keep in mind that the church is a sacred place. The sanctuary should not be made to serve as a photo studio. When photographs are taken after the ceremony, the wedding party is to be reminded that they are in a sacred place. Any type of posing that is contrary to the sacred nature of this place is prohibited. Photographers and videographers are not to obstruct or interfere with the wedding liturgy. Their work should never intrude upon the solemnity of what is taking place. Photo and video related concerns must be discussed well in advance of the ceremony with the priest or deacon who will conduct the ceremony. Stipends: There is normally a fee for the parish organist and there may be fees for other personnel that take part in the wedding liturgy. Other stipends to be considered are for the priest or deacon conducting the ceremony, cantor, servers, use of the church, as well as a gift for the poor. After the Ceremony: The Diocese of Harrisburg respects the policy of the parish regarding rice, birdseed, balloons, etc.

21

Proper Decorum: Please be mindful that this is a sacred event and there is a proper manner of acting that is expected of the couple and wedding party at the rehearsal and on the day of the wedding. All members of the wedding party, including the bride and groom, must be dressed appropriately and modestly for the wedding liturgy.

Other Practices: There are elements that have been added to the marriage ceremony, some of which are not formally part of the official Rite of Marriage as presented by the Church. While these practices have become popular during ceremonies of matrimony, the noble simplicity offered in the ritual of the Roman Catholic Church should always be respected. Please note that the Catholic Rite of Marriage does not require these additional elements. If these additions are used, the following norms should be observed.

Flowers Presented to the Blessed Virgin Mary: Praying for the intercession of the Virgin Mary and honoring our Blessed Mother are important traditions in the Church. While prayer and taking flowers to the BVM statue or shrine of a church is a time-honored practice, it is not specifically part of the elements included in the Rite of Marriage. However, this pious practice, if desired by the bride and groom, certainly may take place once the official Rite of Marriage is completed. Flowers may be presented to the Blessed Virgin Mary following the Prayer After Communion and before the Final Blessing during a Wedding Mass and following the Nuptial Blessing and before the Final Blessing during a Wedding outside of Mass. The couple should be instructed to offer a prayer (e.g., Hail Mary, Memorare, etc) at the shrine or image asking for the Blessed Mother’s intercession. A hymn in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary (e.g., Ave Maria) may be sung at this time.

Unity Candle: The unity candle is not part of the official Rite of Marriage and is not permitted to be used at the church. If the couple wishes to incorporate the unity candle into the wedding day, they might consider incorporating it as part of the “Grace Before Meals” at the reception. A suggested format is attached [Appendix B]. Arras, Lazo and Velacion: In November 2004, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops approved the ritual edition of the Ordo Celebrandi Matrimonium, under the title Ritual del Matrimonio. This ritual book, while based on the approved editions for Spain and Mexico, were adapted to utilize a vocabulary which is accessible to the faithful from Spanish speaking countries of diverse linguistic expressions in the dioceses of the United States of America. The incorporated rubrical and textual adaptations of the English language editions are intended for eventual publication in Spanish and in bi-lingual editions. They contain additional rites for the arras, the lasso and a velacion as approved and confirmed for the edition developed by the Episcopal Conference of Spain. Having received the approval of two thirds of the Latin Church Bishops of the USCCB, the ritual texts were submitted to the Holy See for the requisite confirmation. As of the August 2008, the recognitio had not yet been receive. The Arras

The exchange of arras, or coins, in the Spanish-speaking community expresses mutual sharing and the couple’s pledge to be good stewards in the new household.

22

The Lazo A lazo is generally a double looped rosary that rests on the shoulders of the couple as a sign of the unity in the vows they have professed. The Velacion The velacion is a large veil or shawl placed completely over the bride and over the shoulders of the groom to symbolize that the bride is the center of the new home the couple is about to establish.

Engagements and Anniversaries: Ritual celebrations of the engagement or of significant anniversaries can strengthen the couple in their commitment to each other. These celebrations are also occasions to proclaim the Christian values of marriage. Appropriate prayers and rites are found in the Book of Blessings and the Sacramentary.

Convalidations and Marriages that Follow a Decree of Nullity: In cases of marriage convalidations and marriages that follow a declaration of nullity of a previous marriage of one or both spouses, more simple celebrations of the Rite are encouraged.

Sacrament of Penance: The Catholic bride and groom should be invited to receive the Sacrament of Penance in preparation for the wedding so that the grace of the Sacrament of Marriage may be most fruitfully received.

Parish Policies: Pastors are encouraged to draw up policies for their own parishes as a companion piece to these diocesan norms and the Rite of Marriage.

23

REGISTRATION FORM FOR PRECANA Send this form and a $100 check made payable to St. Joseph Church to:

PreCana St. Joseph Church 2935 Kingston Rd. York, PA 17402

Groom:________________________________________ Preferred name for badge: _________________________ Address: _______________________________________ City/State/Zip: ___________________________________ Home Phone: ___________________________________ Cell Phone: _____________________________________ Age: _______ Previous Marriage: _____yes _____ no Children: _____yes _____no / Ages: _________________ Occupation: _____________________________________ Religion: _______________________________________ Parish/Church: __________________________________ Email: _________________________________________ Special Physical or Dietary Needs:

______________________________________________

Bride: _________________________________________ Preferred name for badge: _________________________ Address: _______________________________________ City/State/Zip: ___________________________________ Home Phone: ___________________________________ Cell Phone: _____________________________________ Age: _______ Previous Marriage: _____yes _____ no Children: _____yes _____no / Ages: _________________ Occupation: _____________________________________ Religion: _______________________________________ Parish/Church: __________________________________ Email: _________________________________________ Special Physical or Dietary Needs:

______________________________________________

Date of Wedding: ________________________________ Parish/Church: __________________________________ Officiating Clergy: _______________________________

Desired Dates: First Choice: ____________________________________ Second Choice: __________________________________

25

REGISTRATION FORM FOR GOD’S PLAN FOR A JOY-FILLED MARRIAGE

Registration must be received at least 4 weeks before seminar date. Registration includes lunch and materials. Send this form and a $60 check made payable to Diocese of Harrisburg to Family Ministries Office, 4800 Union Deposit Rd.; PO Box 3557, Harrisburg, PA 17111-3557

Bride: _________________________________________ Preferred name for badge: _________________________ Address: _______________________________________ City/State/Zip: ___________________________________ Home Phone: ___________________________________ Cell Phone: _____________________________________ Age: _______ Previous Marriage: _____yes _____ no Children: _____yes _____no / Ages: _________________ Occupation: _____________________________________ Religion: _______________________________________ Parish/Church: __________________________________ Special Physical or Dietary Needs:

______________________________________________ ______________________________________________

Groom: ________________________________________ Preferred name for badge: _________________________ Address: _______________________________________ City/State/Zip: ___________________________________ Home Phone: ___________________________________ Cell Phone: _____________________________________ Age: _______ Previous Marriage: _____yes _____ no Children: _____yes _____no / Ages: _________________ Occupation: _____________________________________ Religion: _______________________________________ Parish/Church: __________________________________ Special Physical or Dietary Needs:

______________________________________________ ______________________________________________



27

REGISTRATION FORM FOR ENGAGED ENCOUNTER WEEKEND

Send this form and a $50 deposit made payable to Diocese of Harrisburg to Family Ministries Office, 4800 Union Deposit Rd.; PO Box 3557, Harrisburg, PA 17105-3557

Bride: _________________________________________ Preferred name for badge: _________________________ Address: _______________________________________ City/State/Zip: ___________________________________ Home Phone: ___________________________________ Cell Phone: _____________________________________ Age: _______ Previous Marriage: _____yes _____ no Children: _____yes _____no / Ages: _________________ Occupation: _____________________________________ Religion: _______________________________________ Parish/Church: __________________________________ Special Physical or Dietary Needs:

______________________________________________ ______________________________________________

Groom: ________________________________________ Preferred name for badge: _________________________ Address: _______________________________________ City/State/Zip: ___________________________________ Home Phone: ___________________________________ Cell Phone: _____________________________________ Age: _______ Previous Marriage: _____yes _____ no Children: _____yes _____no / Ages: _________________ Occupation: _____________________________________ Religion: _______________________________________ Parish/Church: __________________________________ Special Physical or Dietary Needs:

______________________________________________ ______________________________________________

