a guide for banks: after the affair - rebuilding love and trust again
DESCRIPTION
A looks at what went wrong between us and the banks, and how to find the magic again...TRANSCRIPT
A guide for banks by Different River
After the AffairRebuilding the love and trust again
“Me and my bank?
We just don’t love each other anymore.
Where’s the sparkle gone, the trust?
He’s been seeing someone else I just know.
Someone exciting, someone dangerous.
He doesn’t care about me.
Perhaps he never did?”
Part 1
1987-2008
21 years of fun
Part 1
1987-2008
21 years of fun
quite often with someone else
Once, banks were
conservative
safe
They inspired
It was like a comfortable
It was like a comfortable, long lasting,
It was like a comfortable, long lasting marriage...
Then
Thenon October 27th 1986
Thenon October 27th 1986
Something
happened
...the banks met someone new!
Someone newexciting
Someone differentSomeone who made them
feel great
Someone who made them feel rich
...and quite
like this guy
...and quite
like this guy
It’s all about
bucks kid.
The rest is
conversation.
“The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five
trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from
inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and
what I do, stock and real estate speculation. It's bullshit. You got ninety
percent of the American public out there with little or no net worth. I create
nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine,
upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while
everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it. Now you're not
naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy? It's the free
market. And you're a part of it. You've got that killer instinct. Stick around pal,
I've still got a lot to teach you”. Gordon Gekko, ‘Wall Street’, 1987
“The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five
trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from
inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and
what I do, stock and real estate speculation. It's bullshit. You got ninety
percent of the American public out there with little or no net worth. I create
nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine,
upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while
everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it. Now you're not
naive enough to think we're living in a democracy, are you buddy? It's the free
market. And you're a part of it. You've got that killer instinct. Stick around pal,
I've still got a lot to teach you”. Gordon Gekko, ‘Wall Street’, 1987!
And did they tell us what all this
could one day mean for us?
youWhat
do
think?
And thus it began...
After the Affair: Julia Cole, Relate, 1999
Vermillion Books, pp 131-132
Stages of the Affair
The person having the affair
1. At the beginning
The partner of the
person having the affair
Justification – “I need this affair
because things are so bad with my
partner”
Desire – “I really want to be with
this person”
Concerns – “There are problems
in our relationship, but I don‟t know
how/am too afraid to tackle them”
Denial – “Perhaps things will work
out on their own?”
The banks seemed happy.
Not dull and bored anymore.
Bought us things even.
How could there be a problem?
FTSE 100
After the Affair: Julia Cole, Relate, 1999
Vermillion Books, pp 131-132
Stages of the Affair
The person having the affair
2. As the affair progresses
The partner of the
person having the affair
Denial – “This affair is making no
difference to my committed
relationship”
Questioning– “My partner seems
different, but I don‟t know why”
Maybe we were curious.
How come things just seemed to
keep getting better and better?
But they just did...
Ave
rag
e U
K h
ou
se
pri
ce
s £
and everyone said
everything was fine...
...well, almost
everyone...
and everyone said
everything was fine...
Nouriel Roubini, Economist...
George Magnus, UBS...
And this guy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IU6PamCQ6zw
(watch and weep)
After the Affair: Julia Cole, Relate, 1999
Vermillion Books, pp 131-132
Stages of the Affair
The person having the affair
3. If the affair continues
The partner of the
person having the affair
Questioning – “I am not sure
where this affair is going. Is it more
important to me than my committed
relationship?”
Anxious– “My partner is behaving
very differently and is often very
secretive. I wonder if he/she is
seeing someone else?”
Could it last?
In the second half
of 2008 we got a
message...
We got pretty upset
After the Affair: Julia Cole, Relate, 1999
Vermillion Books, pp 131-132
Stages of the Affair
The person having the affair
4. If the affair is revealed
The partner of the
person having the affair
Confusion – “I thought I could
contain the affair. Now it is out of
control. I feel guilty about the
situation.”
Unhappiness – “I thought I knew
my partner, but they are like a
stranger to me, I feel betrayed.”
Felt pretty bad
and now we feel
abandonedresentful
angry
bitter
and the banks feel
regret aimlessshame
confusion
even defiance...
or just hope it can be
business as usual...
But it can’t unless we want to end up with a
<pause>
Part 2
2009 -
Repairing
the damage
and here’s
the best news
It wasn’t all your fault
this is how it felt for us when things were good
this is how it felt for us when things were bad
but however it was, this is how it always felt...
The Ego-State (or Parent-Adult-Child, PAC) modelAt any given time, a person experiences and manifests their personality through a mixture of behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Typically, according to TA, there are three ego-states that people consistently use:Parent ("exteropsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel, and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent's actions. For example, a person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating that worked.Adult ("neopsyche"): a state of the ego which is most like a computer processing information and making predictions absent of major emotions that cloud its operation. Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA. While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality.Child ("archaeopsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel and think similarly to how they did in childhood. For example, a person who receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor, and crying or pouting, as they used to when scolded as a child. Conversely, a person who receives a good evaluation may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks. The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity and intimacy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis
The thing is...we
allowed ourselves to
get into that place
responsibility
responsibilityyours
responsibilityandyours
responsibilityandyours ours
Help us be your equals in this relationship
and here’s another thing...
there’s no point simply asking us what we want
we may just tell you that we want it like it was
orbecause back then, whether you were
what we didn’t know didn’t seem to hurt us...
this guy this guy
...until one day it did
...until one day it didBut even now...
most of us don’twant to hang
the bankers
we just want to feel
OK, secure, safe
Can’t we make it 2004 again (please)?
(Ok, maybe not 2004...)
no
no
it’s a changed world now
We need to grow up
We need to grow up
And you need to help us
so that it‟s no longer this
but this...
ok, how?
Help us ‘own’ our
own money1
What does that mean?
Yes, it remains ours.
Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so.
Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking
interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the
door of a big intimidating branch.
Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking
interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the
door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign
embassy, like being on their soil.
Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking
interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the
door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign
embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you
are subject to their laws, rules, customs.
Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking
interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the
door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign
embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you
are subject to their laws, rules, customs. Sure the money
remains ours, but it doesn‟t feel like it.
Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking
interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the
door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign
embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you
are subject to their laws, rules, customs. Sure the money
remains ours, but it doesn‟t feel like it. We handed it over for
you to look after, we gave you the power.
Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking
interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the
door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign
embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you
are subject to their laws, rules, customs. Sure the money
remains ours, but it doesn‟t feel like it. We handed it over for
you to look after, we gave you the power. There are things
we can do and things we can‟t do with our own money.
Yes, it remains ours. But you wouldn‟t think so. Banking
interfaces, websites etc often remain like walking through the
door of a big intimidating branch. It‟s like visiting a foreign
embassy, like being on their soil. And while you‟re there you
are subject to their laws, rules, customs. Sure the money
remains ours, but it doesn‟t feel like it. We handed it over for
you to look after, we gave you the power. There are things
we can do and things we can‟t do with our own money. And
deep down that means that we are still being the child.
Coming next...the age of mybanking
because now it‟s about
Coming next...the age of mybanking
Interfaces that are comprehensive
that give us controlInterfaces that are comprehensive
that give us controlflexibility
Interfaces that are comprehensive
that give us controlflexibility
Interfaces that are comprehensive
and the big one...
emotional ownership
spaces that feel like ours not yours...
It‟s starting to
happen... with
more access...
and elsewhere power is starting to move...
but we await...
?
Right now, who still feels in charge of this relationship? Take a wild guess…
“ …and they never tell you that you are about to exceed your credit limit. Bank statements are
impossible to follow when money transfers from one account to another. My sense is that there are
mechanical rules and no human intelligence” (Managing Director, male) “Cohesive thinking so if I
have some money in one account and go overdrawn in another then I am not heavily penalised until I
transfer the money across, and that ALL my accounts can be accessed from the one screen.” (Web
Designer, female), “The bank did not honour our arranged overdraft and charged us bank charges. I
rang the central number and spoke to someone who said nothing could be done” (Film Editor, male),
“Being able to get through to a living person on the phone quickly to do something basic like order a
new cheque book and not having one of those awful multiple phone things where you phone up and
you have to listen to a multi choice thing and go through a massive menu and security things with the
key pads, (say when you just want to order a new cheque book) which can take up to 5 minutes, and
then when you do finally get through to a living person, you then need to give all the security stuff
again. (Musician, male), “I would like them to not try to encourage me to use my credit card when they
can clearly see from my solo account that I can't afford to pay it off as the interest rates are so high. It
doesn't make sense. It makes me not believe that they care about the well being of their customers. It
makes me feel like they're more interested in their own business.” (Student, male), “Being treated as
an individual rather than an account number! "The computer says no" appears to be rife. The way that
banks simply distribute changes to their policies (or, in my latest example, change my business
accounts) as an arbitrary letter is infuriating. It makes me want to do the same back. "Dear bank, I've
changed condition 4(b) in our agreement to read ... This is because ..." (Business owner, female), “
I would like to feel that my bank had my best interests at heart and really cared about my long term
interests.” (Beautician, female)”
Incentivise expertise2
What does that mean?
If we’re going to get behind the controls we ought to know how to drive
actively teachus about financial
management
About financial responsibility
About „Unsecured Debt/Personal
Income Ratios‟
About borrowing and saving and
planning for the future
The Advanced Financial Driving Test?
Leading to better rates, preferential treatment,
specific products when we have qualified?
About managing investment
About financial security
Incentivise success
more than penalise failure
more
less
Embrace customer
service. Finally. 3
What?
aren‟t we?
Genuinely? It‟s about philosophy.
It‟s about what‟s in your corporate DNA.
Training courses, customer advisers, call centres,
telephone/net banking and all the rest ultimately remain
details when the philosophy and culture of the organisation
continues to be visibly orientated at any goal other than the
sustained financial well being of the customer.
It‟s about being
committed to that marriage
Feeding and nurturing it once more,
so that one day you can get to here...
My bank feels like a genuine partner
to me...making a decent profit
because I’m keeping my business
there. It feels like an equal in this
relationship, and it and I are making
adult, rational decisions which we
communicate to each other to our
mutual benefit. I trust it more than I
trust others, because it has
demonstrably helped me to take
control of my finances, to make
informed decisions, and because it
provides accessible tools for me to
manage my money.
© Different River Ltd www.differentriver.co.uk
November 2009 + 44 (0) 1635 240062