a guide to - living your fullest life by connecting within ...guidebook, you will learn to connect...

A Guide to

ConnectingWi!in

Use the powerful BREATHE process to live a meaningful, joyful

and connected life!

by Sylvia Poareo, MSW

Dear friend,

Are you tired of going through the motions of life, feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, alone, and unsupported? Are old hurts getting in the way of you living fully in your present life?

For many years, I felt the same, as I struggled to find my way after a challenging childhood. Then I learned to connect within to heal and transform my life. I didn’t do it alone. I sought out counseling support, mentors and like-minded community who taught me how to love and nurture myself. And it became clear... we are not meant to live such challenging and disconnected lives!

While healing and connection come largely from turning our attention inward and learning to love ourselves, we do not have to do this alone. With this guidebook, you will learn to connect within by deepening your relationship to your self, to God/Love, to nature and to others.

We are meant to live bright, joyful, abundant lives. Here’s to more of YOU shining through every day!

Supporting your highest expression, Sylvia

Table of Contents.......................................................................................What do you mean by Connecting Within?! 1

..........................................................................................................Connecting With Our Children*! 1

.............................................................................................................So How do I Connect Within?! 2

..............................................................................B - BE IN THE MOMENT with Faith and Courage ! 4

...........................................................................R - REMEMBER You are here to Learn and Grow.! 5

........................................................E - EXPLORE your Thoughts and Feelings with Compassion.! 7

.....................A - ASK Spiritual Guidance and your Heart for wisdom, truth and loving direction.! 9

......................................................................................T - TAKE Action (or make a concrete plan)! 12

..................................................................................H - Healthy Check in, Healthy Self-Care**! 14

.............................................................................................E - EXPRESS Your Love and Purpose!! 17

.............................................................................................................WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING! 22

..................................................................................................................ABOUT SYLVIA POAREO! 23

.............................................................................................................................CONTACT SYLVIA:! 24

........................................................................................................................................FEEDBACK:! 24

i

What do you mean by Connecting Within?

We connect within when we turn our attention inward and commit to loving and nurturing ourselves. Most of us did not receive the modeling or parenting to know how to do this. And our society certainly does not often model what it looks like to be in touch with our feelings and needs, and lovingly respond to them.

Instead we have learned to numb out and avoid our feelings through addictions to substances (drugs, alcohol, food, sugar) or processes (shopping, surfing the net, excessive TV, co-dependent relationships, and so on). Note: Anything can be an addiction as long as we use it to disconnect from ourselves and avoid our feelings

So we need help. We need the help of our Spiritual source to teach us and guide us in what is truly loving to us. When we connect within, we

are stepping into self-responsibility, knowing that we can heal ourselves with the help of God/Love. This Higher wisdom is always available to us, we simply forget to ask, in the same way that we have excellent intuition but we have often been disconnected from it.

Connecting within is about bringing all of this back home in your soul. Connecting with your soul’s deep knowing and to the Divine that exists in us, around us and through us. This is what heals and guides us throughout our days to live a joyful, passionate, purposeful, peaceful and deeply connected life!!

Connecting With Our Children*

A happy parent is the greatest gift to our children. Parenting presents us with so many challenges, many of which are hard to face, if we have hurtful histories. It is powerful to use the love we feel for our children and the perfection we see in them as reminders to see the same in ourselves. As we give ourselves the love we may

A Guide to Connecting Within © 2010 Sylvia Poareo. All Rights Reserved. 1

never have received, our hearts open and we are able to move through parenthood with grace.

By connecting within, the residue that gets in the way of being in the moment and deeply connecting with our children is cleared away. We feel whole, balanced and open to meeting our children with the full attention and presence they need.

Feeling connected ourselves, we can then truly and joyfully experience the sweetness of our time together in this precious gift of sharing life. When we are parenting from this connected place, everything else flows easier and we live the life we hoped for with our children.

* Because I have a special focus on Conscious Mothering, this ebook will include notes on how to apply these concepts to parenting.

So How do I Connect Within?

Just BREATHE!

The BREATHE process outlined here, is based on the Inner Bonding® process integrated with other intuitive and spiritual insights that I have found helpful.* The BREATHE process helps us to consciously connect with our soul in partnership with our Spiritual guidance that is available to us at all times. In today’s world with so many voices coming at us about what is right or wrong, it is invaluable to use this process to reconnect to what you know is true, right and loving for you and your family.

This process is a path and practice for living (and modeling to our children, if parents). This is a non-conformist strategy, an intuitive living practice, and a perfect fit for everyone because above all else it is calling us to be true to ourselves regardless of what anyone else expects.


It is a powerful tool to help you come back home to the beautiful, sacred, and amazing soul that you are, day-by-day, moment by moment.

*For more information about Inner Bonding®, go to www.innerbonding.com where you will find a wealth of information on self-help and healing!


B - BE IN THE MOMENT with Faith and Courage

R - REMEMBER You are here to Learn and Grow E - EXPLORE your Feelings and Thoughts with Compassion

A - ASK your spiritual Guidance for wisdom, truth and loving action

T - TAKE ACTION (or make a concrete plan)

H - HEALTHY CHECK-IN, Healthy Self- Care

E - EXPRESS Your Love and Purpose!

http://www.innerbonding.com

http://www.innerbonding.com

B - BE IN THE MOMENT with Faith and Courage

Consciously move into the present moment. Whatever is going on in your mind, let it be. Just bring your attention to the reality of the precious moment. Take a deep breath, notice that you are alive. Look around at the natural world and take in what is real and stable. Consciously notice what you are grateful for. You may need to focus on the basics and that is okay; I am alive, I am fed, I have shelter, I have Spiritual guidance. Notice anything that is happening in this moment and let it be okay.

Now, consciously ask your Spiritual guidance to help you move through this process and help you resolve the challenge at hand. Open to this loving and compassionate Spiritual guidance that will guide you and support you. Remember that you are not Alone when you open your heart to God/Love. Have FAITH that great Love and Wisdom is here for you.

Then, have COURAGE to feel your feelings

and take responsibility for them. Be willing to authentically notice and feel your feelings. Don’t try to run away from them. Tune into your body. Notice where you are feeling your feelings and what it feels like. Trust that your feelings are valuable information and part of your Divine design to help guide you in life. Open to what you are feeling emotionally and physically in the same way you would naturally respond to a child’s pain, with interest and compassion.

With this same Courage, accept personal responsibility for addressing and healing these feelings. Consciously choose that you WANT to regain your power by owning your response-ability; your powerful ability to respond and heal any challenge.


Helpful tip: Remember, the answers to our problems rarely lie outside of us. Even if our painful feelings are legitimately caused by someone else, we are still most empowered when we learn how to take care of ourselves in the face of these circumstances. Most problems however, are usually caused by something we are doing or thinking, and we are most empowered when we recognize and change these habits.

Note for parents: This is the step, where we take a deep breath and recognize that our child’s behavior is not personal. They are not doing something to you, but they have triggered a great opportunity for you to learn more about what is most loving for everyone!

R - REMEMBER You are here to Learn and Grow.We seem to have forgotten that we are here for a reason. Each person with a special purpose and specific expression of Love to share with the planet. Take a moment to REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS A LEARNING JOURNEY. Consciously move into Curiosity. What am I feeling? What is my learning here? What are the good reasons? Curiosity is a powerful tool that opens our hearts and can help us move into an intent to learn about what is loving in this situation.

The InnerBonding® Process teaches that there are only two possible intents in any given moment: to protect against pain and avoid responsibility for it, through trying to control yourself and others. Or to Learn about what you are doing or thinking that may be causing your pain so that you can move into loving yourself and others.

When we remain in a protected state, we are not yet ready to open and would rather blame


someone else or avoid facing our feelings. This wounded part of us goes by many names, the ego,

the wounded self, the defenses, the monkey mind. Whatever you call it, it is not the part of us that can bring love and clarity through.

The part of us that can, is the inner Parent* that moves into curiosity about what we are here to LEARN and how we will GROW. This inner Parent self is the keeper of our soul. It is willing to take responsibility for our healing and self-care. It acts as an internal mother and father that assumes the job of making sure our needs are met, our boundaries are clear, and our joy is pursued. This is the part of us that we are seeking to develop and strengthen with the help of our Guidance.

As mentioned earlier, this is the part of us that is underdeveloped in most, because few received modeling or parenting that showed us how to take loving care of ourselves. So, we begin the

Helpful tip: Surrender to the learning process that life is. Envision that the Inner Parent part of you is holding the “child” (feeling) part of you that is in pain, while your Spiritual guidance lovingly guides and supports you in your learning.

journey of learning to be the parent we needed to ourselves. To be the inner Parent you do not have to have the answers, only the willingness to learn and grow with the help of your Spiritual Guidance.

Note to Parents: It is helpful to consciously channel the love and attention you naturally extend to your children, inward, to compassionately attend to yourself. Your natural capacity to love, protect and nurture your children, demonstrates that you are capable of doing this for yourself.

This is a supreme gift of becoming mother or father. We learn what it is to truly care for another. We recognize all of the needs one small child has and we learn to do our best to meet them. Though we may fall short at times, we are mostly learning and developing this inner Parent as we love and protect another.

It helps to remember that we are just like that small child, with all those needs and the same right to have our needs met and desires expressed. It is now a great time to use this Inner


Parent you’ve developed, to bring love, compassion and support through to yourself!

*The Inner Bonding® process refers to this as the Loving Adult. I use the term inner Parent because it tangibly helps us remember the overarching action of the Loving Adult which is to reparent ourselves lovingly.

E - EXPLORE your Thoughts and Feelings with Compassion. Most negative feelings are a sign that something we are doing or thinking is unloving. The unloving thoughts are spoken from our ego/inner critic/wounded self and often include should’ve, would’ve, could’ve and have a harsh, judgmental tone to them. They are often negative messages we received throughout life and have learned to tell ourselves.

These negative thoughts never feel good, which is a sign for us to look at them and question them. Here the Inner Parent compassionately explores our thoughts and feelings, in the same way a loving adult might ask a child about his/her distress. What are you feeling? Tell me about it, I’ll listen. Does this


Helpful Tip: Remember that your main focus here is simply to hold space for your soul to express authentically. You do not have to have the answers. Have deep COMPASSION for yourself. There are always good reasons for how you are feeling, there is no need for judgment, shame, hiding. It is simply time to let out what is causing pain so that you can let go of it.

remind you of anything you have felt in the past? Often we have learned to treat ourselves in the same hurtful ways we were treated as a child (abuse, criticism, neglect, abandonment). Be open to ways you may be doing so.

Your Inner Parent can explore further with genuine curiosity: Is there anything I am thinking here that is causing this pain? Is there anything I am doing that is causing this pain? This is not about blaming yourself, but rather recognizing the lies and hurtful actions that do not serve you, so that you can change them with the help of your Spiritual guidance.

Even anger at someone who seems to be causing your anger can be explored and learned from. First, allow yourself to express your anger at the person (away from them, not in person), then ask yourself what you might be doing that is similar to what they are doing to you. Focusing on the other is a powerless place because we have no control over another. Focusing on what we can do or change is powerful because it is something we do have control over.

Sometimes we are not exploring our feelings around a problem but seeking to learn about what would honor us. It is helpful to simply explore what you would love to do or think. What thought or action would make your soul sing in this moment?

Note to parents (with an emphasis on mothers): Often mothers are expecting themselves to do everything, to rescue everyone, or to be perfect. Many of these ‘lies’ or negative messages stem from childhood or society’s condition of women. It is helpful to recognize when and where you developed these ideas, knowing there was a good reason for you to use these thoughts and actions to cope. Remind yourself that coping is no longer necessary and no longer working in your life now. Bring compassion and understanding to that part of you that believes these harmful thoughts.


A - ASK Spiritual Guidance and your Heart for wisdom, truth and loving direction.What do you mean by Spiritual Guidance?

Spiritual Guidance refers to the connection you have and/or can develop with God/Love. Regardless of your faith background, you can develop a personal relationship with God/Love. For some it is in the form of the religious deity they are comfortable with, for others it is represented as a wise and loving Guide or Angel. God/Love is so grand that there is no end to how we can experience it.

We can also ask our Heart or ‘Inner Knowing’ because we are not separate from God/Love. We are Divinely designed and the depth of our inner knowing is vast. We often haven’t practiced or nurtured our intuition, but it is there and it is part of the Spiritual Guidance available to us at all times.

The natural world is also a great way that the Divine communicates to us. Simply taking a walk

outside, sitting under a tree, listening to the birds can change your state. When you go further and open your heart to the truth and wisdom that nature offers in every moment, you develop a greater sense of the amazing, abundant Love and well-being that is here for all of us. Simply stop to deeply breathe in and feel the trees, flowers, sky, etc., and ask God/Love to tell you what nature can teach you.

If you need help connecting to your Spiritual Guidance, I highly recommend my mentor, Margaret Paul’s book, “Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by God?”

Asking for wisdom truth and loving direction:

This is the key. We must remember that we are not alone. Never alone. We are surrounded by and filled with the love and light of God/Love and


Helpful tip: Our heart is the seat of our connection to the Divine. It is crucial to center yourself in your heart and ask for help from there. When we stay in our mind, our ego/critic voice can cloud the information and make it hard to hear. If you have to think about it, it’s not Guidance. Shift down into your heart, breathe into it, feel the peace there and connect.

this wisdom is always available to us, but we must tune in and ask.

Once you have recognized the thought or action that is causing you pain, ask your loving and wise Spiritual Guidance:

•What is the truth about these thoughts that are causing me pain?

•What is the loving behavior toward myself in this situation?

•What is in my highest good? What is kind and loving to me?

Simply open your heart and listen with all of your senses. The answers may come through in words, pictures or feelings. You may see something or be told something later that fits. Even if answers do not come immediately, they will come. Simply shifting into learning, openness and surrender in this moment will already begin working its magic.

By connecting to the truth of God/Love, we can heal many of the lies or false beliefs of our

childhood, such as “I’m not good enough” “I’m unlovable” “I’m not worthy.” When we ask for help to see ourselves through the eyes of God/Love, we begin to see that we are in fact inherently worthy, lovable and perfect. We begin to see the purity and loving essence of our soul.

Practices like meditation, centering prayer, body awareness are very helpful to help you learn how to shift out of your mind and feel the peace that is within us always.

Special note for parents: It is so easy for parents, out of their sincere love for their children, to put their children’s needs first. It is very important to remember the airplane example: On an airplane if oxygen is needed, parents are instructed to put their mask on before putting their child’s mask on. This is because if something happens to the parent, there is no hope for the child. It is the same on an inner level.

We give children the greatest gift when we take care of ourselves. It is the single most important thing to do as a parent, and in fact it is our


birthright. Just as we see our precious children and want to do everything for them, we need to love and support the beautiful souls that we are.

In doing so, we give our children the modeling they need to love themselves. There are many adults who were well loved by their parents but who did not see their parents treating themselves well. Thus, despite their parents’ efforts to treat them with love, they learn to treat themselves poorly because we learn most from what Is modeled. We must model for our children what healthy, self-respectful and loving behavior is, in order to help them preserve the joy and connection they came into the world with.

Whatever is loving to you, will always be most loving to your children because when you take care of yourself, you will then be offering them love from a full place, rather than a depleted one. Your love will be stronger, richer, more abundant and your interactions, more creative, flexible, joyful. And they will feel it!

Sometimes it takes a long time for mothers to unlearn the self-neglecting behavior that has become so normal for women in society. Getting individual help or support in a Conscious Mothering Circle is a very powerful way to learn about loving yourself and living the life you deserve.


A note on loving ourselves: Often people respond to this unabashed focus on loving ourselves, by asking “Isn’t that selfish?” So many people have been trained not to directly ask for what they need. Yet, loving ourselves is actually a wonderful form of healthy selfishness that is VERY loving and the opposite of the “selfishness” we all grew up hearing about.

When we focus on loving ourselves, we are owning our job of taking care of ourselves, which is actually unselfish. It is ‘selfish’ when we want other people to take care of us (when they really need to be taking care of themselves). We are are letting others off the hook, by not demanding or trying to control them to get our needs met. Trying to control another to get your needs met is the source of most relationship problems in life.

Instead, by loving ourselves we focus on what we can do with the help of Spiritual Guidance, taking full responsibility for ourselves with healthy selfishness. When we are filling ourselves up, we are capable of sharing more love with everybody. So taking care of ourselves, practicing healthy selfishness, is a gift to everyone!

T - TAKE Action (or make a concrete plan)It is not enough to become aware of what you tell yourself or do, and what might be better to do or think. It is important to take the loving action that your Spiritual guidance shared. It would be like a child telling you “I’m hungry” and you responding “Oh” instead of taking the loving action to feed him/her.

When we explore our feelings, our soul (the essence or child in us) is giving us invaluable information about what is loving and what is hurtful. The path to feeling good, feeling confident, feeling powerful is to take loving care of ourselves. We feel miserable when we are not doing this because as adults no one else can or will take care of us.

Codependent friends might try but it always ends in disaster, because no one else can connect within for you. No one else can know you deeply enough to know what truly feels good and life-giving to you. Only you can. And when your soul

opens up to you, you don’t want to just say “Thanks for sharing.” You want to communicate to yourself that you are important and valuable by taking action on the information to love, care, protect and honor yourself. Doing so will fill you up and empower you like nothing else!

There are many different forms of ACTION.

Sometimes the loving action is simply to tell yourself the truth and bring it deeply in to your soul with grace and compassion, i.e “I don’t have to be perfect” “I can take some time to myself” “I am a loving and caring mother.” This is the re-parenting that the Inner Parent learns to do in connection with Guidance.

Sometimes we are guided to set a boundary or make a change, acting as an advocate for ourselves. For example, a common loving action is to adjust one’s schedule to ensure that you are getting enough personal space and time to fill your cup.

Sometimes it may not be something we can do in the moment, but it is still crucial to make a


concrete plan of action and commit to it. In the same way that we would still attend to a child’s needs, even if it meant it needed to be addressed later. For example, “I will wake up an hour early to start my day with exercise and journaling”

The more that you ask for help, the more you will receive it. Soon you will be able to do this throughout your days, recognizing that you are not alone in any moment, and there is always a more inspired solution available.

By following the Truth of your Spiritual Guidance you are choosing Love over Fear in a variety of ways. The possibilities are endless when it comes

to information we can receive from our Guidance. The important thing is to value ourselves enough to take the ACTION!

When you are fleshing out your action into action steps, it is helpful

to remember with gratitude that you are not alone, that as you move forward in loving yourself God/Love will respond to support you. Things will fall into place that you didn’t expect, the right people will come into your life, you will be guided… all you need to do is take baby steps with faith and gratitude, to begin the journey.

Note to Parents: As you surrender to the reality that the greater truth about what is loving comes from God/Love, then you can rest in simply being a vessel of Love to your children and worry less about the details. You don’t have to “figure everything out” in your mind, you can shift into your heart and ask, “What would be loving to me? What would be most loving to my child? What is in the highest good of our family?”

You will be a true champion for your family when you are connecting to God/Love and remembering what it means to live from a place of power and authenticity together. There is so much misinformation and pressure in our society about what is right for families. By staying connected to your own inner knowing and your


Helpful tip: By connecting with our Spiritual Guidance we also naturally shift into gratitude for the supreme gift it is to know that God/Love is always here. It is amazing that we so often forget, and more amazing to keep asking and finding that yes, no matter what, Love is here for you.

Guidance, you can navigate these waters with clarity, passion and commitment to doing what is right for your family.

A great example of this is healthy eating. It is astounding what junk children are exposed to and it can feel very counterculture to eat what humans are actually designed to eat: whole foods that grow on this earth, not processed food that comes in packages from factories. When you connect within, it is clear what the loving choice is, and you can take loving action to feed your family well, no matter what anyone else is doing. You can tell your children (in all situations) “We are doing this because we love you so much and want to only do what is best for our family, regardless of what anyone else is doing”

You may even model for them, “I have tuned in with my Spiritual Guidance and this is what is most loving.” They will then learn how they too can take life in stride by connecting within!

H - Healthy Check in, Healthy Self-Care**

Healthy Check In

After you have walked through the steps of this process, consciously CHECK IN to see if your stress, pain, and/or anger are getting healed. If not, just go back through the steps until you discover the truth and actions that bring you peace, joy, and a deep sense of intrinsic worth.

It may be easy to skip this process, but it is often the one with the most important information for us. Life is such a practice of learning how to fine tune what feels loving to us and we mostly do it by trial and error. Often, the clarity we needed comes by trying one action/thought and finding that if we just tweak it here or there, it is better. We will never know if we don’t try. But we will really never know how full and rich life can be, if we try and we don’t evaluate!

Healthy Self-Care

Sometimes our process can feel ineffective


because we are lacking in basic self-care. You may have noticed a thought or feeling that makes you feel bad and you change the thought or take the loving action, but still feel irritable or depressed. When this is the case, there are often basic self care issues that are needing attention, such as, missed meals, lack of protein, sugar addiction, hormonal imbalances, or simply not enough down time. No one can be expected to run on empty and it is unloving to our souls and everyone when we try.

We may try to keep life balanced but invariably some needs begin to fall by the wayside. It is a very essential preventative step to simply check in regularly:

Helpful Tip: Observe role models of excellent self care. Pay attention to anyone you admire and consider to be very successful. Notice or learn about their daily habits; how do they eat, what are their routines, how do they make time for balance? You can also learn from movies or stories by paying attention to strong mother, father or leader figures. Strong mother figures often model how to nurture ourselves, and strong father figures often model how to speak up and take action. Our Inner Parent is developed whenever we learn more about what it looks like to take care of ourselves!

• Are my basic health needs met?

• Am I getting enough sleep? Rest? Water? Oxygen? (Remember to breathe!)

• Am I eating good quality nutrient-rich foods that feed my body, mind and soul?

• Am I sheltered? Clothed? Do I feel safe in my home?

• Am I getting quality time to myself on a consistent basis?

• Do I have time to pursue my interests/passions and feed my soul?

• Do I have a regular prayer, meditation, or spiritual practice that grounds me?

• Am I avoiding the foods and activities that drain me? (sugar, late nights, overstimulation, overscheduling, overcommitting)

• Am I getting the basic help and support I need with the children and household?

Basic self-care is the single most important thing


we can do on our own behalf. It would not help a child for us to listen to their ‘emotional problems’ if we were not feeding them, sheltering them or giving them any attention. We would recognize that their ‘problems’ had underlying causes!

It is the same with us. Everyone that I work with experiences tremendously enhanced feelings of worth, lovability, and capability when they are focusing on their own self-care. Our ‘cup’ is filled and we are better able to handle any ‘learning’ that life sends our way!

**Ideally, self care is where we begin before we move through the Breathe process, as a daily practice of ensuring balance in our lives. However, I include it here because our imbalance often sneaks up on us, and check in is a great time to fine tune our self-care basics.**

Note for parents: Because it can be a chronic state of early parenthood, we can forget what sleep deprivation is doing to us. We would never think it normal for someone who worked the graveyard shift to simply go on without sleep. We would recognize that they need to get their rest or else they will not be able to work well the next day. It is the same for parents. We cannot function and be the parents we want to be when

we are sleep deprived (remember sleep deprivation is a form of torture!). It may not be simple or straightforward, but it is essential to find a way to make sure you are getting enough sleep.

In the same way, we would never expect anyone else to work a job 24/7 and never have down time. We need breaks from the “job” of parenting in order to perform at our best. Not insisting on self-care in all areas, only results in heartbreak. Heartbreak that we are not being the parents we want to be. And heartbreak for our children as they experience a less than happy parent.

Healthy Balance looks different in every home. Some parents are fine being home with children all day. Some need substantial down time in the middle of the day. While others prefer balancing work with parenting. Take some time to tune in to what would really make you happy as a parent and ask Guidance for creative help to find the balance you need.


E - EXPRESS Your Love and Purpose!

At the end of our process, we come home to what it’s all about. When we connect within to heal ourselves with Love/God, we begin to clearly feel the abundant love and power that can flow through us. We see the beauty of our individual soul and gain clarity on why we are here. A common thread of all religions/spiritual beliefs is that we are here to develop our capacity to love and share this with the world.

Consciously embracing the gift that it is to express your Love and Purpose, helps us to stay connected within and gives us the path for deeply connecting with others. As we focus on being a vessel of love, we stay out of our ego. When we express our Love and purpose, we are practicing staying connected to God/Love. From this connected place with a heart full of Love and Kindness, ask your Guidance, “How can I serve my family, friends, the planet?

Eckhart Tolle says it well, when he says (paraphrased) “ Do not ask what you want out of

life, but ask “What does Life want of me?” Or my own way of asking God/Love, “How can I be a vessel of your Love in this moment, in this day?”

We ask this after we have connected within because until we love ourselves we cannot really love or serve another. When disconnected, people often “love” or “serve” but it is shallow and has a covert intention; to get their needs met, to control another, to find self-worth. When we are connected within, we know that we are worthy, lovable, a child of God. Love flows in and through us and we know this abundant Love is here for everyone.

You are here with a special purpose, a special way that Divine Love and Light can be expressed through you. The more that you focus on this, in connection with God/Love, the more you will feel authentic peace, clarity, purpose and joy!


BREATHE in action: David enjoyed his job as an assistant at an architectural firm. But he was beginning to feel drained by the incessant demands of his boss and his co-workers. He was

afraid to say “No” to them because he didn’t want them to reject him or become angry at him. Here is how he used the BREATHE process:


B - He stayed present to his feelings of overwhelm and despair and chose to take responsibility for what he could change

R - He shifted his intention from trying to control what others thought of him, to tuning into how he was feeling to learn about what would be loving

E - He explored these feelings, and recognized what he was doing that was causing his stress: saying “yes” in an effort to control other’s approval instead of speaking up for himself.

A - He asked his Spiritual Guidance for information on what would be loving, and identified strategies: “I can hold onto myself in connection with my Guidance, to help me remember my inherent worth” “I can tell people I will put their requests on my waiting list and respond to them, as I can” “I can take care of myself if someone becomes angry or rejecting with me”

T - He took action by going to work the next day, centered in his self and spiritual connection, and giving his co-workers and boss new instructions. He showed them all the new “Help” sheet where they could write their requests and told them he would address them on a first come, first-served basis, except where priority dictated a quicker response.

H - He checked in with his feelings and found that although he felt “shaky” in his new behavior, a deeper peace and strength made it clear that he was on the right track. He also noticed that improving basic self-care around sleep and balance helped him to maintain the clarity of his boundaries at work.

E - He found that once he was not stressed out trying to do too much, he was able to truly provide thorough and caring support to his co-workers, which added meaning and a higher sense of fulfillment to his work. He also found that when he was not exhausted, he had more time for his interests and passions, including service through environmental volunteer work. The joy he felt in expressing his purpose, helped to him to stay in his authentic power at work and beyond!

Maria was frustrated yet again with her 10 year old son and her 8 year old daughter who seemed

to constantly bicker. Here is an example of how she used the BREATHE process:


B - She took a deep breath to center herself in the moment. She chose to look at what she was responsible for and had faith that her Spiritual Guidance was there for her.

R - She opened her heart with curiosity, to look at the situation with objectivity and see what she could learn here and how they could grow together.

E - She explored her feelings. When she looked at what she was doing/thinking that was causing her pain, she realized “I think it’s my job to make sure that everyone is happy, and I keep trying to, even when it’s impossible. Then they expect me to keep doing this and get mad when I don’t, which creates a vicious cycle!”

A - She asked her Spiritual Guidance for the truth about her belief that it’s her job to make everyone happy. Her Guidance reminded her that her children have their own journey and she cannot control it to keep them from challenges or unhappiness. Next, she asked, “What would be most loving to me right now?”

T - She took action by letting her children know she was going to her room to “connect.” Once there, she got more clarity that it was time to set new boundaries for communication in the household. Her plan of action for this was to have a family meeting to discuss their new approaches to personal responsibility and self-care.

H - After their family meeting, she checked in and noticed a huge feeling of relief that she was speaking up and setting a loving boundary for herself. She found that ensuring balance in her self-care was crucial to keep her boundaries intact and remain consistent and loving, and model healthy self-care for her children.

E - Maria began to feel lighter, more loving and more excited about being a mother. Remembering that her Spiritual Guidance is with her and available to give loving direction, she began to relax into mothering, which freed her up to reconnect to her other passions, like painting. As she painted, her soul opened up more and the whole family seemed to feel the joy that had entered her heart. And she had more clarity and peace when addressing any family problems that did arise.

BREATHE-ing daily:

This process is not designed as something you do once in a while when stuck with a problem. It is a process of connecting within easily and naturally throughout your day. It is about BREATHing every day to live with clarity, connection and vibrance!

Though it may seem complicated broken down into seven sections, the process is simply connecting within, in three essential steps: check in with your feelings, check in with God/Love and take action, that are framed by conscious intention shifts to make the most of your connection. With practice, it becomes a seamless flow that only takes a few minutes.

We stay in our heart as the Inner Parent and simply talk and listen and TRUST our inner wisdom and God/Love. It is so simple, but it will change your life profoundly. There is no greater authority for our life than Love/God that flows in us and through us.

We can live our days in complete connection within, tuned into our soul and God/Love. It is a

heart-centered practice. When we BREATHE, we consciously move out of our ego/wounded self that works so hard, and move into the rest and peace of heart-connection that guides us quietly and steadily.

By connecting within, we become free to live the life we are meant to live!


Helpful Tip: Post the shorthand version of the BREATHE process somewhere visible to help you remember what to do in a challenging moment throughout the busy day.

GET THE SUPPORT YOU DESERVE

Are you ready to live the life you are meant to live?

I know how hard it can be, and how busy our days can feel. Sometimes it seems like there is no way you can squeeze “connecting” into your life. But you can! And it’s easy and enjoyable when you are receiving the support you need and staying connected with others that are on the same conscious path.

When you are first using this process, it is very helpful to receive individual help or participate in one of my groups (Inner Bonding support Group or Conscious Mothering Circle) to practice walking through it. The more you do, the more the grace of this process will unfold and give you a beautiful road map for living and loving.

Having experienced such powerful healing and connection, I created Connecting Within to offer safe and sacred guidance and space for others to heal and live vibrant, spiritually-connected lives. A

space to help you reconnect to your Divine design and knowing about what is truly loving for you. It is my privilege to support you through spiritual-emotional healing, inspired writing and conscious community events. Go to www.ConnectingWithin.com for details and join in this loving community to connect within and with each other!

If you’re ready to take action now, schedule a FREE consultation with me to see how I can help you get connected, find your tribe and find peace!

I look forward to connecting with you!

Want to know what people are saying?

Turn to the next page for real stories with wonderful outcomes!


http://www.ConnectingWithin.com

http://www.ConnectingWithin.com

https://my.timedriver.com/TTW9M

https://my.timedriver.com/TTW9M

WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

“Sylvia is a soulful, powerful facilitator who knows how to make participants feel comfortable and safe with challenging life topics. Her sensitivity to each person in the circle and unconditional love, create the perfect environment to explore what makes us who we are and who we can become.” - Nancy M., Anaheim

“I truly enjoyed coming to Sylvia’s Conscious Mothering Circle; it uplifted me, challenged me, and made me look into my own ways of handling life a little better. It was nice to have a small circle of other women going through their own challenges in life, and realizing we all have small demons or issues in our lives to contend with at different levels. It kept me grounded and able to stay healthfully concerned with my family as it matures and grows beyond the young-children-at-home stage. I truly recommend Sylvia’s conscious groups to anyone!” - Sue C., CD(DONA), AAH

“My time spent with Sylvia practicing Inner Bonding has been consistently uplifting and grounding at the same time. The tools she has given me to communicate with myself and my Guidance has transformed my life. Knowing that access to truth and loving action is easy, the challenge is to realize when I should be asking Guidance for help rather than following my thoughts or feelings in circles. The most profound and lasting message that I keep hearing is “Be as kind, patient, understanding to yourself as you are to your children.” ‒ Erin S., Anaheim, CA

Through Sylvia’s gentle support she has helped me to develop a loving and nurturing relationship with my boys. I’ve also discovered how important it is to take loving care of myself as a wife and mom. I have learned that when I am balanced and well, my whole family benefits. ~ Kelly L.

Working with Sylvia was a deeply nurturing experience for me. Her warm, calm presence and her clear inner strength helped me to feel safe exploring emotions that are sometimes difficult for me to open up to. She is a courageous and generous soul, daring to take her compassion into the places where it hurts and turning them into places that can heal. She is highly skilled and experienced with facilitating the healing process in a loving, kind way. I highly recommend working with Sylvia. - Christy, Glendale, CA

Sylvia offers “outside the box” parenting insights which have given my family a peaceful and beautiful 6 years. Thank you for all your hard work to make the lives of our kids and community a better place. ~ Blayne ‒ Father of 2 boys


ABOUT SYLVIA POAREOSylvia Poareo grew up in Southern California in various foster and relative homes. Despite her chaotic beginning, her personal connection to the Divine sustained and guided her to seek the light in the darkness. Still, as a young adult, she felt lost, alone, and unlovable until she learned about Inner Bonding. With Inner Bonding, she learned to love and re-parent herself and create the life she always wanted.

Having experienced transformation, she was drawn to helping others heal. She earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Work from Azusa Pacific University, a Master’s Degree in Social Welfare at UCLA, and became a certified spiritual counselor with the Association for the Integration of the Whole Person. For over 15 years, she has shared the power of Inner Bonding through social work in hospital, adoption and foster care settings, as well as, with children/families in the elementary

schools using play/art therapy and training others in these processes. She continues to provide Inner Bonding support, serving as a “midwife to the healing process”; gently guiding clients through an inherently intuitive exploration to nurture loving and compassionate connection within, with God and with others.

Having been inspired by her own amazing and challenging experiences of pregnancy, birth and motherhood, she also developed a focus on supporting mothers. She enjoys offering compassionate support to pregnant and parenting mothers through individual sessions, Conscious Mothering Circles, Blessings, and the Red Tent. She feels passionately that motherhood is an incomparable time of growth, learning and healing, to be engaged in consciously so we can be truly loving to ourselves, to our precious ones, and the world.

More recently, she established www.connectingwithin.com, as a safe and sacred online space that is an antidote to our disconnected society with its focus on real connection to self, to God/love, nature and each other. She feels privileged and blessed to share many powerful healing tools and help others reconnect to their true beauty and wisdom!

When not doing the work she loves, she deeply enjoys growing and adventuring with her family; husband Sean, son Lucas (6y.o) and daughter Mayela (4 y.o.).


http://www.connectingwithin.com

http://www.connectingwithin.com

CONTACT SYLVIA:

Sylvia Poareo, MSW

[email protected]

1519 Ponderosa Ave.

Fullerton, CA 92835

Inquiries for media, speaking, or scheduling: [email protected]

To set up a complimentary consultation, go to: https://my.timedriver.com/TTW9M

FEEDBACK: I would love to receive your feedback on this ebook. Please let me know what was helpful and feel free to ask any questions. You can email me at [email protected]. Your insight and questions will inspire my writing (blog) and will be helpful to everyone.


mailto:[email protected]






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