a guide to spiritual direction

8/12/2019 A Guide to Spiritual Direction

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spiri uala guide to

direction

DEVELOPED BY JAMES L. DAVIS, D. MIN

EDITED BY LACEY N. HOWARD

COPYRIGHT 2009


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A Guide to Spiritual Direction2

Foreword

by Sacinandana SwamiHindu monk and Spiritual Director of the

Vedic University, Berlin

When I met Jim Davis for the first time it was during an

interreligious convention in West Virginia. Gathered there were

Hindus, Muslims, Christians, and some spiritual seekers who

would not give themselves a religious designation. The person

who would eventually become my friend sat at a table

talking with a Hindu monk. We got introduced and went for a

long walk, discussing our experiences on that most wonderfuland demanding journey human beings have undertaken since

time immemorial: the journey into an experienced relationship

with God.

During that first walk we connected instantlyespecially since

we agree that the content different religions try to deliver is often

identical, while the words describing the different religious

experiences differ. We both see that subjects such as means of

purification, inner transformation, freedom from ego, the

greatness of God, and the need for a transmitter between the

ant-like human being and the transcosmic, but immanent, Lord

are found in every way of religious life. And we both felt very

elevated to talk about Godperhaps because we felt His

presence in these talks.

Over the years since that first walk, we have met again and again

and finally an idea was born: Since Jim has a lot of experiencein counseling and helping people who come to him for direction,

why not write something like a handbook based on his

experience? If the spiritual experience, which underlines the

various religious teachings would really be similar in all traditions

(as both of us found), this book could be of benefit. The book

you are about to read is the outcome of this effort.


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I personally like it very much and use it myself. However, I

encourage you to read it with two eyes. One eye should search

for the universal principles that hold true for everyone, and theother eye can look (if you wish) for the differences and small

nuances where your own tradition may have different

perspectives. Then, your findings can encourage you to move

forward in your own tradition in a more convinced way.

Here in Germany we have a saying: Children are told stories so

that they can fall asleep; grown-ups are told the same stories to

help them wake up.

Let me sum up these introductory thoughts with a little story. I

have heard this story in slight variations within many religious

meetings Hindu, Christian, Sufi, and even Celtic. The idea is so

good, that I decided to write my own version, keeping the unique

contribution of each religion in mind. May it inspire you for

greater depth in your own spiritual life.

Lessons from a Tea Cup

Once there was a young man, rather immature in his life, but

ready to learn. He had a strong liking for antiques and was

always eager to visit the different antiques stores during his

holidays in Europe. Over time he developed a strong interest in

antique pottery and especially in tea cups. He felt that they each

had a unique story to tell.

Once, in a dusky antiques store in Serbia, he spotted an

exceptional tea cup which clearly had Turkish influences. He

asked the bespectacled seller, May I see that exceptionally

beautiful tea cup over there? It seems to come from Turkey.

As the seller handed him the tea cup, the young man suddenly

heard the tea cup speak.

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You dont understand, it said, I have not always been a tea

cup. There was a time when I had no idea what service meant. I

was just a dumb lump of red clay on the ground. Let me tell youmy story, you will learn from it. The cup continued on, saying,

Ive lived for many, many thousands of years. Ive witnessed

war and peace come and go. Entire civilizations rolled over me

as I sat there waiting...for what, I dont know. Then one day my

master came. He took me to his home, rolled and pounded me

on a wooden table. Again and again, he poked his fingers into

me until finally I yelled out, Dont do that! Leave me alone! But

he only smiled and gently said, Not yet.

The tea cup became more and more alive as he spoke to the

shocked young man. Then, whoommmm! I was suddenly on a

spinning wheel and was spun around repeatedly until I lost all

sense of direction. Stop it! Cant you see that Im getting sick?

Take me off the spinning wheel! But my master only nodded in

understanding and quietly said, Not yet. He continued to bend

me in and out of shape and then he...he placed me carefully into

an oven. I never felt such heat before. I yelled and knocked andpounded at the door. It is hotter than hell; Im burning to ashes.

Please get me out of here before it is too late. I could see him

through a tiny hole but could only read his lips as he shook his

head from side to side and silently pronounced, Not yet.

When I thought I could not bear the heat any longer, the door

opened. He carefully took me out and put me on a shelf where

I began to cool. It felt so good to be left alone. But there was

more to come. After I had cooled down he carefully picked me

up, looked at me and brushed some dust away. Then, he

painted on colors and something transparentthe glaze. The

fumes were horrible! I thought I would gag! Please! Have you no

mercy? Dont you understand my misery? Please, please give

up on me! Please! Stop it! But he only shook his head and said,

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Not yet, you are not yet ready.

Unexpectedly, and very quickly, he put me back into the oven.This time it was about twice or thrice as hot as the first time.

From the beginning I thought, This is my death! I begged. I

pleaded. I threatened. I screamed. Finally, I cried without tears,

not even hot tears. I was convinced I would never make it. I was

ready to give up. Just thenas I was fainting, the door opened

and he took me out. Again, he placed me on the shelf where I

was left to cool. I waited...and waited...and waited. What was

going to be next?

About an hour later he came back and placed a mirror before me

and said, Look at yourself! And I did. What I saw amazed me. It

is what you see now. Thats not me! I said. That cannot be me.

It is too beautiful.

In a very compassionate voice he spoke. This is what you are

meant to be. And then he explained, I know it hurt you when I

rolled and kneaded you on the table. But if I had not gotten theair out of you, you would have broken. I know you must have

lost all sense of orientation when I was spinning you. But without

the spinning wheel, you would never have come into this form.

I know the fumes of the colors and the glaze were intolerable

when I painted you all over. But if I had not done that, you would

not have had any color in your life and you wouldnt have

hardened. And when I placed you in the second oven I knew that

this would be the most severe part. But without it, you would

have broken very easily when the realities of life would come.

Believe me; all I did was for your good. Now you are what I had

in mind when I first saw you on the ground. Now you are a

finished product. With this the tea cup stopped speakingbut

there was a tear of gratefulness coming from its beautiful rim.

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The young man purchased the tea cup and used it only when

he offered something to God. He never forgot the lesson he

received from it. And whenever he was in a difficult situation andfelt like calling out Stop it! Leave me alone! he remembered the

words of the teacup maker, Not yet. However, he also became

grateful, for he knew that everything that happened was

designed by the Lord to make him what he was meant to

become: A pleasing servant.

God knows what He is doing for each of us. He is the potter and

we are the clay. He will mold us and expose us to enough

pressures of just the right kind so that we become a perfect

piece to His liking: Ready to be of service.

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Authors Note

This book is written as a primer for spiritual directorsthose

who direct others in a spiritual life. The texts intention is to help

readers learn to address issues of spirituality as they arise in the

everyday lives of those who seek spiritual guidance. My years as

a parish priest and spiritual director have taught me that spiritual

direction is something that humans crave. It is my hope that this

book will offer a user-friendly approach to and act as a guide for

spiritual direction.

The text is divided into three parts. First, a definition of

spirituality followed by five basic principles of spiritual care.Second, a how-to section that demonstrates ways to

incorporate these basic principles in the process of giving

spiritual direction. Finally, I offer a prescription for spiritual

nourishment and growth.

While this is not an academic text, I hope that academics may

find it useful. Although I am a Christian and a priest in the

Episcopal Church, I have written this book in such a way that its

ideas can be applied by spiritual directors from traditions other

than Christianity. Because this book is about the basic principles

of spiritual care, I assume that readers interested in this topic

already believe in the existence of God, or at least another plane

of existence that transcends our human consciousness.

Therefore, I am not going to offer an argument for whether or

not God exists. Also, please note that although all the pronouns

throughout the text are he, I in no way believe that spiritual

directors or seekers must be male. I believe strongly in theequality of men and women in the spiritual life.

With this text, I hope to help you access Gods power and to be

conscious of it in your everyday life. As you read, I pray that

consciousness of God will be awakened in new ways for you.


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Spirituality is a hot topic today. But what is spirituality?

Spirituality is a willingness to be led by God. A willingness to be

led implies simple surrenderturning your life and will over to

the care of God. Letting Gods will direct and guide us will initiate

a process in which we find meaning and purpose. Meaning

refers to what is intended or expressed. Purpose is the reason

for which something exists. Issues of meaning and purpose

serve as the foundation of our existence. Humans cannot live

fulfilling lives without grappling with issues of meaning andpurpose. In a steadfast commitment to truth, Socrates

maintained that the unexamined life is not worth living. Through

examining our lives, we will discover who we are and why we

are. Humans need to express who we are: meaning-making

beings. We also need to explain why we are: purpose-

making beings. We humans struggle to find meaning and

purpose in our lives because we are prevented from truly

expressing and explaining ourselves. The hatred, violence, and

rise of psychological depression in todays world confirm this.

Why?

Sooner or later, everyone asks the question, Why? Why me?

Why did this happen to me?

Introduction:

What is spirituality?


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At its root, why, is a spiritual question because it invariably

addresses those things and issues that provide meaning and

purpose. Throughout history, people have wrestled with issuesabout why because spirituality is a basic and fundamental issue

with which humans must come to grips.

Spirituality deals with the meaning and purpose in all that exists

(actuality)not only physical objects, but also to beliefs, desires,

intentions, and thoughts. James Ashbrook, one of my former

professors, liked to say, humans are object-seeking and

meaning-making beings.

Faith should be understood as a natural human orientation or

innate disposition to lifes ultimate meaning and purpose. In

other words, we are all born having faith. We are programmed

for it. However, faith is more than a state of mind, it involves

movement and activity. Faithful people are searching and

discovering. Searching is a process of expression and

discovering is a process of meaning. Because of this, spirituality

and faith are linkedyou cant have one without the other.

Keys to faith

Lets look at what faith means in terms of two things: ultimacy

and authenticity. Above, I suggested that faith is a natural

human orientation to lifes ultimate meaning and purpose. What

does ultimate mean? Issues of ultimacy address final reference.

A final referent is that authority beyond which we can no longer

appeal. A final referent has the final say. In the U.S. legal system,

the Supreme Court is the final referent for issues of law. Citizens

cannot appeal to any higher court. It is the end point.

God as final referent

If issues of ultimacy address final reference, what do we call this

final referent and how do we access it? Might I suggest that the

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name for the final referent is God. God is the one who provides

meaning and purpose in our lives. God is the final source of

appeal. God is the ultimate. And the way we access God isthrough the practice of what I call God consciousness.

Consciousness of God implies self-awarenessa subjective

feeling of both the presence and the absence of God. Self-

awareness entails more than intellectual assent or simply

believing that God exists. Being conscious of God means

being aware of and having a relationship with God through

spiritual practice. Spirituality is therefore about God

consciousness. This, however, requires practice.

The authentic life

Because faith is a natural human orientation, to be human is to

be a person of faith. No one can live an authentic life without

faith. By authentic, I mean living according to the manner and

purpose for which we were created. For instance, if we believe

that humans are created by God, with equal status to be in

relationship with each other, and to exercise dominion over the

entire creation, then any violation of that belief (such as throughprejudice or bigotry) is inauthentic. Even those who claim to be

faithless live with faiththey merely have faith in being

faithless. They find their meaning and purpose in life through a

faithless existence. But this does not mean that a faithless life is

an authentic oneit simply means a faithless life is a false life. A

false life, like a false self, prevents one from authentic existence.

When this happens we become imposters. We spend our lives

pretending to be something we are not and chasing something

(idea, belief, person, place or thing) that cannot deliver on the

promises it claims.

What is spiritual direction?

Spiritual direction is about helping people practice and cultivate

God consciousness. Let me be very clearspiritual direction

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and care is not psychotherapy. Spirituality is necessarily about

being conscious of God, whereas psychotherapy is not

necessarily about God or consciousness of God. Psychotherapyaddresses the psychological make-up of an individual that may

or may not have anything to do with the persons relationship

with God. The primary task of spiritual direction is to focus on

relationship with God. When people are out of relationship with

God, are not conscious of God, problems occur. But the job of a

spiritual director is to confront and cultivate God

consciousness, and to refer any psychological or psychiatric

issues to the appropriate source. Here is a brief story that

illustrates my point:

Several years ago as a newly ordained Christian Episcopal priest,

I went to seek spiritual guidance from a person who was living as

a Christian hermit. He also happened to be a licensed

psychotherapist who had retired from psychotherapeutic

practice to devote his time to cultivating the spiritual life. After

I told him my story, he asked, Jim, do you like people? I said,

No, I dont think I like people right now, because at the time Iwas exhausted and stressed out from work and domestic duties.

He replied, What you need is psychotherapy and not spiritual

direction at this point in your life. I am no longer serving in that

capacity. I suggest you go to see a therapist and work out your

psychological issues.

I was shocked. I had driven two hours to hear him tell me I

needed a therapist! What kind of spiritual guide was he? How

dare he insult me? Later, after I reviewed my life, I discovered

the hermit might have a point. So, I went to see a

psychotherapist who helped me address the psychological

barriers that were preventing me from growing into relationship

with God.

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What kind of spiritual guide was the old hermit? A terrific guide.

He knew what I needed and made the appropriate

recommendation. He did not feel a need to delve into areas inwhich he was no longer interested or educated. He knew his

limitations, and he was able to start me down a road that has led

me into a type of God consciousness that I never would have

been able to reach on my own. As spiritual directors, we should

be cautious that we do not turn spiritual direction into a

substitute form of psychotherapy.

A willingness to be ledSpirituality is the search for meaning and purpose in our livesa

search conducted in faith and one that leads to consciousness

of God. The starting point for any discussion and practice of

spirituality is the willingness to be led, or the willingness to

consider alternative options and ways to reach total meaning

and purpose. This does not imply acceptance; rather, it means

being open to considering a way, or ways, to God

consciousness. Here is an illustration:

Suppose a man comes to see you for spiritual direction. After

listening to his needs and concerns, you recommend a spiritual

exercise according to his own tradition. Hindus may use Joppa

beads; Christians may say the rosary; Buddhists may practice

zazen (seated meditation), and Sufis may dance. All spiritual

traditions have some sort of exercise to assist in God

consciousness.

After recommending a spiritual exercise, you schedule an

appointment for a future meeting, at which, this man will report

his progress. At this meeting you ask how he got along with the

exercise you assigned. If he responds, Oh. I tried that for two

days, decided it was a stupid thing to do, and quit. Now I want

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you to assign another exercise for me which I hope I like better.

You can see that this man is not willing to be led. He decidedthat the exercise was useless, so he quit doing it. When he

closed himself to considering a way to God (even one that may

seem foolish or stupid), he put himself in the role of final referent.

In other words, this person became God. And whenever a

person thinks he is God, he is severely off base. A human is a

finite being and cannot become Godan infinite being. The

most grave mistake we can make is to think that we are God or

to allow others to worship us as if we are rock stars or

celebrities. An obvious question that needs to be asked is, How

do you help a person see that he cant know God if he is

unwilling to be led?

The willingness to be led does not mean mere intellectual assent

nor is it simply an act of will. The willingness to be led requires a

submissive heart.

Submission means to be under (sub) the direction or guidance(mission) of someone else. Heart, in this context, is used

metaphorically and implies that the heart is the source of all

intents, desires, and longings. A submissive heart is one that

longs and desires to be under the guidance of another. In the

spiritual life this translates into a desiring and longing to be

under the direction of Godto desire God consciousness.

The first act a person should make is to surrender or submit to

God. In the western world, surrender has a negative connotation

that implies defeat, weakness, and cowardice. In the spiritual

life, surrender has a positive connotation that implies victory,

strength, and courage. When we turn our wills and lives over to

God, this turning is an un-coerced, joyful act. Humans are

created with a natural disposition to be led by God (earlier we

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referred to this natural human orientation as faith), a question

you might ask is, How am I able to do this?

The willingness to be led and the cultivation of a submissive

heart can only occur if you are willing to acknowledge the

authority of another. In the spiritual life, this means turning your

life over to God and accepting God as the supreme authority in

your life. Authority is an acknowledged form of delegated power.

A powerful being is one who has the ability to influence others.

However, a powerful being does not necessarily have authority.

Acknowledging the authority of anotherin this case God

comes by delegating and recognizing Gods ability to influence,

resulting in God consciousness.

The basic human dilemma we all face is lack of power. We all

desire power and seek influence. But a key to spiritual living is

acknowledging that true power comes from accepting the

authority of God. This authority is manifested by a

consciousness of the need and importance of Gods power in

life, and acknowledging that this is what the human seeks.

Introduction


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Part One: Basic

Principles of Spirituality

I was chatting with a friend and she asked, What makes a

person spiritual? What follows is my response. I hope Part One

of this text defines spirituality for you, as well.


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Chapter 1

Worldview

Several years ago I was taking a class on pastoral care, one of

the students made the following remark, Professor, you seem

so comfortable working with people without taking or using

notes. I wish you could teach us how to do it. The professor

replied, Everybody works from notes. Some are written down,

some remain in your head, but everyone works from notes.

This was his way of reminding us that all people have a

worldview. All people have some assumptive base from which,

and on which, they build their livesa worldview. Everyone hasa worldview and it is imperative that spiritual directors

understand their own individual worldview. A worldview

encompasses questions such as, What is my philosophy of

life? What belief system do I acknowledge and live by? What is

important and valuable in life? Is there such a person or thing as

God? What is the nature of humanity?

All worldviews make claims, and the credibility of a worldview

depends upon its ability to deliver on the claims that it makes.

When examining our worldviews, it is important to ask, What

are the claims inherent in my worldview? and, Is my worldview

able to deliver on the claims it makes?


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Lets look at two examples: the existentialist and the

consumerist. An existentialist is one who believes life is

meaningless, absurd, and pointless. The purpose of life forexistentialists consists of merely grinding out an existence. A

consumerist is one who believes that meaning and purpose in

life comes through the accumulation of possessions and goods.

The more one has, the more meaningful life becomes.

Existentialism and consumerism are false worldviews because

history has shown that neither is able to provide for the claims it

makes.

Individuals take two basic positions when forming a worldview:

theism or atheism. A theist believes in the existence God. An

atheist does not believe in God.

Because a theist believes in the existence of God, theism forms

the basis of our worldviews. However, as theists, we need to ask

ourselves, What kind of theist am I? Am I a polytheist who

believes in the existence of several gods, or am I a monotheist

who believes in one God? Next, we need to ask, How is thisGod I believe in, manifested in todays world?

A revelation is something God discloses to us. God is the

initiator; we are the responders. This is a crucial point

revelation is not something we discover on our own merit. It is

something that God makes known to us. We do not discover

God. God finds us and invites us into relationship. This is why

faith is a gift and is not something we can purchase or acquire

by our own means. Faith is a gift from God that we have the

capacity to accept or deny. Because spiritual care must begin

with an examination of a belief system and how that belief

system serves as the foundation for a life of faith and service to

God, we must examine our beliefs.

Chapter 1


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What kind of Theist am I?

How is God revealed to me?

How can I help to reveal God to others?

ask yourself...

Take some time now to think about your faith in God and the

belief system you have developed to support your faith.

Chapter 1


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Chapter 2

Leading Others to God

How does one lead people to God? Here are five principles of

spiritual care that enable us to do that:

Modeling and imitation: How we act

Behavioral scientists claim that imitation is the strongest form of

learning. I agree with this notion because imitation and

modeling entail comprehensive incorporation of the lifestyle,

thoughts, behavior, and feelings of another. There is an old

saying, You cannot give something away that you do not have.

If we are not regular practitioners of spirituality we will be unable

to lead or direct others. How we live our lives is vital to the

credibility of our message and presence. People will not respect

us or listen to us if we regularly violate the basic principles of our

faith tradition.

Principle

Modeling/Imitation

Establishment of trust

Definition of purpose

Articulation of purpose

Acceptance of invitation

Definition

How we act

Creating a safe place

Knowing your end point

Communication

Walking with God

principles of spiritual care


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Two critical areas of self-examination are necessary in order to

be effective spiritual directors: Our understanding of our

relationship with God; and our understanding of our relationshipwith others. All relationships, by definition, should entail a mutual

reciprocity between two people. Think of mutual reciprocity as

the give-and-take that goes on between you and another. Can

you describe the give-and-take that occurs between you and

God?

Take a hard look at your current relationship with God: Is your

relationship with God a personal one? Can you contact and

communicate with God as a friend? Or is your relationship with

God based more on abstract theoretical concepts and less on

practical daily experience? Is God just some theoretical holy

other to whom you give intellectual credence because it is what

you think you are supposed to do? Are you conscious of God

and aware of Gods presence in your daily life? Do you miss this

relationship when it is absent? Is your relationship based upon

trust or fear? Are you afraid of God because your God punishes

people who fall short of self-imposed standards? Or is your Goda God of mercy and tender love in whom you live, and move,

and have your being? Or is your God one you can go to at any

time and for any reason without feeling intimidated?

Before you act as a spiritual director, you must be conscious of

God and you must live a life that reflects that consciousness.

Otherwise, people will not seek assistance from you. They may

come, but they will not stay because you are not actively living in

God consciousness.

Your relationship with others is based on your understanding of

God. As well as the needs that all humans instinctively possess,

I believe that God created humans with basic needs.

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Otherwise, individuals will slip into meaningless and purposeless

existence. God did not create humans to live without pleasure.

However, humans easily confuse their sources for pleasure,choosing gratification of the senses and missing the pleasure

that is part of being conscious of God.

Self Expression

Everyone has a need to be creative. We need to be able to

exercise our God-given talents and gifts. Otherwise, we end up,

as T. S. Eliot says, in his poem The Love Song of J. Alfred

Prufrock 1917, measuring out our lives with coffee spoons,

where precision and orderand the maintenance of that order

take priority in life, allowing no room for novelty.

Spiritual Direction

Each individual has a desire to find meaning and purpose in life.

We cannot function as children of God without some ultimate

sense of direction and goal. If we do not know who we are and

where we are going, life will become absurd and meaningless

(existentialism).

Socialization

People were created by God to be in relationship with one

another. We were not created to exist or live in a vacuum,

independently of others. There are some exceptions to this, but

most of us are created to be social beings. Isolation leads to a

negative progression: from depression, to diminished self worth,

which leads to lack of hope, diminished faith, and a meaningless

existence.

If any of these six human needs are unfilled our lives become

stunted. Spiritual directors need to be able to assess these

needs as we relate to our own relationships with God in the

midst of interaction with other people.

Chapter 2


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People seeking help will come to you to be guided. They will

look to you as a leader, as someone who can help them go

where they need to go. But they will ask two basic questions:

Why should I listen to you? and, Why should I follow you?

To be most effective, your responses should clearly integrate the

following four areas of spiritual direction: predictability, purpose,

communication, and invitation.

Chapter 3: Meeting

Basic Human Needs

Predictability

Listen to me because I am trustworthy.

Purpose

Follow me because I know where I am going.

Communication

Listen to me because I can articulate whereI am going in clear ways.

Invitation

Follow me because I want you to go with me.

areas of spiritual direction


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In spiritual care giving, the end point is consciousness of God.

As directors, we are obligated to inform our devotees that their

destination is God consciousness. We are also responsible forkeeping people on the correct path. Often, people wander away

from the given path of God consciousness. It is your job to lead

people back on the right road when they get derailed. This

involves correction. Some involved in spiritual direction are

reluctant or even unwilling to use correction in the process of

spiritual formation. I believe this is a mistake. The issue is not if

a person gets off the path, but what to do when the person gets

off the path. People come to a director expecting guidance and

craving correction. Do not be influenced by some current

ideological thinking that sees correction as a form of imperialism

and hierarchical tyranny. Spiritual guides and directors are meant

to direct, and if we are not willing to do that, then we do not

belong in the role. The exercise of correction is necessary and is

not negotiable; however, the way correction is exercised can be

negotiable.

Articulation of Purpose: CommunicationIt is not enough to know where we are going. We must be able

to communicate our knowledge and destination point to others.

Here is a story:

I worked with someone who was designated as a spiritual leader.

This person was officially mandated with the oversight and

spiritual care of over 10,000 souls. This is an awesome

responsibility and one that requires great diligence, execution

and the establishment of mechanisms for delivering care. This

spiritual leader was initially able to establish trust by creating a

safe place, and he knew the end point. However, he was not able

to articulate this to the peopleit was all inside his head. He

knew where he wanted to go, but no one else knew his plan

because he could not communicate his intended direction to

Chapter 3


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others. Consequently, people who looked to him for direction

were not able to follow him and chaos was brewing.

My job, after ensuring that some of the four previous principles

were covered was to help this spiritual leader learn how to

communicate the direction he deemed necessary for people.

This was accomplished by creating a plan that was then

communicated to everyone under his jurisdiction. Once people

had an idea of the path they were expected to follow, chaos was

avoided.

However, a portion of communication requires the ability to

ensure that the selected plan or path is implemented. This

person, while having the best of intentions, was constitutionally

incapable of executing the appropriate oversight necessary to

enable the original goalof making God Consciousness

available to all under his care.

Unfortunately for the people under this leaders care, a failure to

implement the necessary steps along the path resulted in loss ofdirection for those he leads. A loss of direction ultimately results

in confusion, which leads to mistrust. Mistrust causes people to

question their respect for a leaders, or can result in chaos and

failure.

Invitation: Walking with God

When people come to us for spiritual direction it is vital that we

see their arrival as a response to an invitation from the faith that

they believe God has given them and to which God is calling

them. The spiritual directors role in this process is to continue

to help them discern what God is calling them to do and where

God is calling them to go. Be careful of the trap of self-

delusionbelieving that people are coming to you because you

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During a Hindu/Christian Dialogue a person said to me, I hear

you are a Christian priest. What does a Christian priest do?

After a moment I responded, I am an invisibilist. To which the

person asked, What is an invisibilist? I replied, My job as a

priest is to be invisible. I exist to lead people to God. In order to

do this I need to get out of the way so the people can see and

experience God and not simply me. She said, It must be real

hard to do that. I replied, It is a difficult thing to do, especially

in the materialistic world in which we live.

In Part Two, I offer illustrations and give examples that I hope will

help readers to learn the Art of Invisibilism. Spiritual caregiving

becomes authentic as the caregiver gets out of the way

becomes invisiblein leading people to God.

Part Two: The Art of

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Chapter 4:

Encounter

An encounter and an interview are separate, distinct

occurrences. An encounter is a meeting with another. The first

encounter with a person seeking spiritual direction often does

not occur in your office or private dwelling. Often, it happens

when you least expect iton the steps of a worship center, while

you are having simple conversation, or at the grocery store.

When an encounter occurs, your goal as a spiritual director is

first to acknowledge the person and his needs. Be courteous

and attentive because God sent this person to you.

Acknowledge the person

Identify the issues

Decide what to do about the issues

Set up a meeting

Ensure continuity of care

Recognize your limits

Stick to your guns

Enlist supervision and support

guidelines for encountering one who

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seriousness of the person seeking direction. If you are serious

about providing spiritual care to another, you should establish

a relationship with that person. Relationships that require thedepth and trust necessary for spiritual direction demand

contexts that create safe climates. A spiritual director tries to

create a climate that will help to ensure total meaning and

purpose.

Ensure continuity of care

One of the biggest issues facing the U.S. health care industry

today is continuity of care. Who is in charge of the carethe

insurance company? the hospital? the primary care physician?

the patient? The complexity of the system is such that it is not

unusual for people to get lost. As this happens, patients do not

get the continuity of care necessary for an appropriate holding

context so that healing may occur.

The same is true for spiritual care giving. Establishing an

opportunity for continuous care must be one of your basic goals

at the start of any relationship. If you are not able to providecontinuity of care for any reason, I suggest you be honest with

the person seeking care.

Recognize your limits

To be effective, a relationship with a devotee must be based on a

spiritual caregivers consistency, honesty, and interest. Be

realistic and understand that you cannot be all things to all

people. You may not be able to work with some people in the

way that is necessary for God consciousness to occur. If

needed, simply say, I am not the appropriate person for you to

talk with about your relationship with God. But I can refer you to

a person who I think might be able to help you. Then be quiet

and let the devotee respond. It is your job to find the care

appropriate for the person. If he refuses, saying, You are the

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only one who can help me. I can not see someone else. No

one is as good as you, be careful. This response can seduce

your ego into falsely believing that you are the only one. Yourresponse to the seekers comment should be sensitive, yet firm

enough to indicate that you will not be changing your mind.

Stick to Your Guns

This next step is critical. If the person accepts your

recommendation of seeing someone else, wish him well and

encourage him to continue to seek God consciousness. If he

tries another seductive move similar to the one mentioned

above, hold your ground. Simply end the meeting.

Remember, no one is irreplaceable. No one is God or should

play God, regardless of how tempting it may be. If you find

yourself falling into this trap, seek out a peer with whom you can

discuss the situation.

Enlist Supervision and Support

This brings me to another critical point in the giving of spiritual

care. Because the requirements for spiritual direction are sogreat, it is vital to your health and the health of others that you

have a group of peers with whom you can discuss things. Make

certain the group you select is trained in God consciousness.

This group must include people who will be honest and direct

in their advice and comments. Make sure you have this group

selected in advance of your practice of spiritual care giving.

With the type of intimacy that can be generated in spiritual care,

it is important that neither you nor the seeker make erroneous

assumptions that can lead to a violation of the relationship. A

cautionary note: Desire for sexual intimacy can be an issue here.

Do not get caught up in this (see Appendix B, page 106).

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An interview is a formal, structured meeting. Technical skill is

required to conduct an interview and six specific skills are

necessary for effective interviewing.

The science of observation

Observation is not some sort of mystical gift that one gets from

the great beyond, but a skill developed through practice. It

includes the ability to notice the types of interactional dynamics

as well as intrapsychic dynamics that occur during an interview

and relating them to relationship with God. Non-verbal as well as

verbal responses should be recognized. The observation

process begins when one first encounters the potential devotee.

In many instances, this is a telephone call. It is important to

Chapter 5:

Interview

The science of observation

Following the affect

The concept of process

The ability to make an assessmentRanking

The art of facilitating transitions

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realize that a telephone conversation can offer interesting

insights into the relational process with which you are being

asked to dealthe human as well as the divine. It is alsoimportant to note who is making the call. For instance, is the

husband calling to set up an appointment for his wife? Is an

assistant making the call for his employer? Is a parent

making an appointment for his child? Also learn the reasons for

the call. I recommend taking notes with any phone conversation

as a first interview. When the time comes during the face-to-face

interviewusually shortly after you complete the social greeting

stagereference your notes to address any concerns you may

have and ask the person to comment on them.

Following the affect

Following the affect refers to directing ones comments in

response to a seekers emotional state. You should also pay

close attention to your feelings because your emotions will

indicate a relational response that will have bearing on the

interaction. Following the affect of the person and yourself helps

to get you organized around a central component and leads tocoherence rather than fragmentation. Note where there is

incongruence in content and affect or an unusual lack of affect in

the conversation. For instance, if the person is telling you what

you believe to be a very sad, painful encounter, and they show

no sadness or remorse but instead smile throughout the

episode, this demonstrates incongruence. If the person is

incongruent in this episode, think about their congruence or

incongruence in their relationship with God. While paying

attention to affect is important in the interview, you should also

be careful that you do not move too quickly to deep feeling

levels during the initial interview because it may be too

threatening an issue, and may cause the person to distance from

you rather than bonding with you. Keep in mind that your

primary job in this initial interview is to establish a holding

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context. What you do not want is to push the person to an

affectual level they are not yet prepared to address.

Process

Processthe timing, order, and number of themes as well as

behaviors, affect, and ideas that ariseis inherent in any

interview. For instance, how many different areas of concern

does the person tell you about? In what order are they

disclosed? How are they disclosed? Is the affect congruent with

the content?

While process deals with the how of interaction, content deals

with the what of interaction. Body posture, facial expressions,

tone of voice, balance in the conversation, and what may be

unspoken but still carries impact, are all important factors to

consider while interviewing. Particular areas of process that

require special attention during the interview are intimacy,

decision making, sharing of power, and commitment.

AssessmentAssessment is a complex process that occurs during the

interview. It refers to the measuring or sizing up that occurs

between you and the person and includes the collection of

pertinent data. In order to be able to collect the necessary

information, the interviewer must be open-minded and relaxed.

During the initial interview your role is to not only establish a

rapport that will enable a safe holding context, but also to collect

important information that will help you assess the situation. One

of the biggest mistakes beginning directors make is to assume

that the interview is just a time for socialization. It is not. People

will come to you seeking advice and direction. In order for that to

happen, I recommend having guidelines and directives in place

that will enable the necessary information exchange. You should

develop a format with set questions that will guide the interview.

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As an example, the one I use appears in Appendix A, page 104.

RankingAny assessment should include rankinga prioritizing of

hunches and ideas that occur spontaneously in an interview. It is

important for the interviewer to be familiar with this process so

that he will be able to balance the interaction and set guidelines

for discussion. For instance, most people come for spiritual

direction with lots of issues on their mind. It is your job as a

director to be able to determine which issues are of major

concern and which are not. Ranking the issues will help provide

clarity and direction, engendering positive expectations. If

someone leaves the interview with some hope, his motivational

level will be elevated.

Facilitating Transitions

Making transitions is a key factor in any interview. Smooth

transitions foster trust while rough ones can create alienation

and distance. An interviewer should be able to help a person

move along at a comfortable pace and in a non-threateningmanner. Process and content should be directed in a natural

way. Sudden leaps into tangential or threatening issues as well

as excessive dwelling on one particular issue should be avoided.

During the interview, you must be able to move the person in

the direction you wish to take. Humble continuity of process and

thought should be your goal.

Anyone involved in spiritual direction should give the skill of

interviewing pride of place in his training. Interviewing is one

of the major tools that a director should have in his repertoire.

These are a few techniques essential to interviewing in spiritual

direction. However, a spiritual director is obligated to incorporate

theological themes and issues of meaning and purpose as they

relate to God consciousnessillustrated in the following chapter.

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You could make an argument that these particular couples have

problems with stewardship of Gods resources. The place to

begin addressing this kind of issue is with a person skilled infinances, such as a financial planner or a CPA. Once this

presenting problem is addressed, you can proceed to guide and

direct people in their relationship with God, but not before.

Another item people bring with them when they seek God is an

expectation about what this seeking process should be like. For

instance, many people seeking God think that undergoing this

process should be easy. Nothing can be further from the truth.

Seeking God requires difficult, disciplined work. Even though we

are created by God with a natural orientation or predisposition

toward seeking God, we dare not assume this is an easy thing to

do. We are also created with other natural God-given

dispositions. For instance, our God-given disposition for

satisfaction can very easily get distorted by notions that

suggest complete and real satisfaction comes from the

accumulation of material goods and not from relationship with

God. When this happens, we find ourselves seeking somethingfalse, or not credible. Credibility needs to be understood as the

ability to deliver on the claims inherent in the expectation. The

credibility of the claim that complete satisfaction will come from

accumulation of possessions is false because material

possessions cannot meet this claim. We know that total and

complete satisfaction comes from relationship with God and

consciousness of that relationship.

Seeking God is a discipline that should be exercised daily. There

is a structure or method with which one should comply in order

to activate and cultivate God consciousness. All forms of

spirituality have particular methods or manners of seeking God

that are part of their tradition. In most cases, the holy elders of

particular traditions have devised methods of seeking and any

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spiritual director will have some sort of access to them. For

instance, prayer, fasting, devotional service, and sacred reading

are a few of the methods that are cross-cultural and spiritual. Isuggest that seekers go to designated holy people in their own

tradition before they try to seek God in other traditions. If one

has no prior spiritual tradition to which he may refer, then be

open and let God help you guide him toward one.

For example, I visited a spiritual guide in a tradition other than

my own who told me to seek God through my own tradition. This

person did not think it was necessary for me to hop into another

tradition because of superficial reasons and encouraged me to

return to my own tradition. It was helpful advice. Simply because

I was uncomfortable in my particular tradition was not

necessarily grounds for me to transfer to another tradition.

Grounds for transferring to another tradition should include more

than comfort level. It should be based upon ideological and

theological agreement. For instance, if you are uncomfortable

with some spiritual exercise, such as devotional service, dont

immediately transfer to another, but try and stay within yourtradition and work out your comfort level.

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Chapter 7:

Obstacles

When some embark on a spiritual journey they expect the path

to be free of obstacles, only to find that they are constantly

confronted with distractions and other road blocks. This is

because obstacles are an integral part of a spiritual journey.

Whenever someone feels called to go on a spiritual journey

either in an external way such as a pilgrimage, or an internal

one such as the inward or interior journey of the self as a means

to finding Godhe will be confronted with distractions. These

distractions occur mostly in the mind. How we think and what

we think (process as well as content) are central driving forcesbehind motivation, desire, and intentions. It is quite common

to experience what I refer to as intrusive thoughts of a bizarre

nature, that will try to discourage and suggest that the devotee is

on the wrong road. These thoughts may encourage participation

in behaviors that are designed to deter the seeker from the goal

of God consciousness. Here is an example:

Richard is a man in his early fifties with whom I have been

working over the last year. He is a world-class artist and

one of the most talented people I know. Yet Richard is tortured

by obsessive thoughts that continually tell him he is unworthy.

Thoughts such as, What is wrong with me? Why did I not do a

better job? Will God save me? Does God even care about me? I

do not deserve to be in relationship with God because I am too


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tainted, filled with sin, and impure. God surely will not help me!

When these thoughts or similar ones appear, instead of seeing

these as designed by an anti-spiritual forceperhapsmaterialism, consumerism, or egoism to deter him from God

Richard focuses on these thoughts as directed by God. Once

this happens, his thought processes begin to snowball until they

are out of control and he is living in fear, separated from God.

It is important for any spiritual director to be able to identify

intrusive thoughts and guide the person through them rather

than helping to exacerbate thoughts by focusing on them. How

to identify and help people work through intrusive thoughts is

an ongoing process in spiritual direction. Negative thoughts and

negative thinking about ones self, about others, and about God,

if left unattended, take on a life of their own and people spend

their time focusing on excessive faultfinding rather than praise of

God. The job of any spiritual director is to help people transform

their thinking when it goes astraywhich it does and will do

oftenfrom selfish matters to matters of God.

A method I have found of great help in spiritual direction is

mantra meditationa form of thinking where one repeats a word

or a phrase over and over in his mind. This method is prescribed

to help people liberate their minds from habitual cognitive sets of

a material or selfish nature that deter focus from God. The

repetition of the mantra, which incidentally should be of a

spiritual nature and associated with some kind of God

consciousness, is designed to interrupt tangential and intrusive

thoughts and refocus the person on awareness of God. It does

this as one listens to the transcendental sound of the words and

their vibration, in this case, the chanting of the holy name of

God. This listening and feeling process guides our senses and

our minds to realization of God consciousness.

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Chanting the holy name of GodAllah, Krsna, Jehovah, Lord,

Jesusputs a person in the presence of God. In the spiritual

life no distinction should be made between the name of Godand the reality of God. They are one and the same. This can be

a very difficult concept for people to accept, especially in the

western world, where we have made an issue over this exact

distinction. The result of this thinking is that the name and the

reality of the name are two separate entities. This kind of

bifurcation in western thinking is a natural obstacle to God

consciousness. It does not allow us the freedom to be able to

listen for the transcendental sound of the reality of God. It also

does not allow us to feel Gods presence in our lives or at work

in the world. When this happens, it is a natural tendency for

people to turn their focus on themselves instead of toward God.

Spiritual directors should be able to realize when invasions of

thought or action are confronting the seekers. One of the best

ways to do this is to help folks examine their thoughts, feelings,

and behaviors as they relate to God. Spiritual mantra meditation

and chanting the holy name of God are the two most effectivemethods one can use and rely upon to bring the seekers focus

back to God.

Look for what exists

Know your expectations of spiritual

process

Establish daily discipline Anticipate obstacles

Overcome obstacles

reminders for seeking God

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Chapter 8:

Relationship and

Spirituality

Spirituality and the practice of it implies relationship. Awareness

of God comes through conscious contact. This chapter

addresses relationships in general and how our understanding

and practice of God consciousness is affected by our

understanding of relationship.

Individuals bring with them into every relationship what I call,

The Three Big Is. All people have belief systems that consist of

Individual issues, Interactional issues and Intergenerational

issues. Individual issues make up our intrapsychic dynamicsour drives, needs, desires. Interactional issues make up

relational dynamicshow we relate to others. Intergenerational

issues make up and refer to our family of origin dynamicssuch

as inherited legacies, invisible loyalties, and scripts. In any

relationship, it is important to discern which particular issue the

individual is stressing at the time. For instance, the individual

issue is addressed by asking the questions, What is going on

inside right now? How do you feel? What are you thinking? What

is the reason for your particular response? The way to address

an interactional issue is by asking the questions, How do you

participate in that? What role do you play? How do you benefit

from relating in this particular way? The way to address

intergenerational issues is to ask the question, How did you

learn to respond this way? or, How did you come to think and


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act like that? to address the behavior or current cognitive pro-

cess being mentioned.

Asking these questions will help give you insight into a persons

understanding of relationships. However, these issues all

overlap. You should be able to shift and sort as they arise.

Here is an example of an interchange between a Seeker (S) and

a Spiritual Director (SD):

S: My boss at work told me she want to talk with me on Thursday

and I am scared to death.

SD: Did she say what the topic to be discussed was to be?

S: No, she just said she wants to meet with me and I just know itis not about something good.

SD: How do you know that?

S: I dont know. I just know it.

SD: Really, how did you learn to think like this?

S: Well, I guess from my mother. She always looked on the

negative side. And especially did not trust people in authority.

SD: Oh. So you learned this from your mother.

S: Yeah, I guess I did.

SD: If that is the case, whose issue is this, this negative thinking?

Your mothers or yours?

S: That is a good question. Right now I feel as if it is mine but I

am beginning to think maybe I just inherited this way of thinking.

Maybe for that matter it isnt mine at all. Maybe I am just working

out my Moms issues. Can you imagine that?

individual

interactional

intergenerational

big issues in relationships

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Note that from the beginning the SD asks an intergenerational

question, How did you learn to think like that? This question is

intended to offer insight into family of origin issues. Byasking this question, the SD will become aware of a

developmental history this person has learned to establish in

terms of relationships. The line between psychotherapy and

spiritual direction is drawn by how you address this issue. A

spiritual director must be able to direct the person into talking

about their relationship with God. The psychotherapist does not

necessarily have to do this. If this seeker has learned to think

negatively about issues, especially relationships with authorities,

what kind of bearing does this type of thinking have in the

persons relationship with God (the ultimate authority) and their

conscious contact with God? It is the job of the spiritual director

to help the person answer these questions and help them adjust

their understanding in order to facilitate God consciousness.

Here is another example:

S: I am so pissed at my wife. She never, I mean never, wants to

spend time, in intimate ways, affectionately, with me. I am reallygetting tired of this.

SD: Can you think of any reason or give any explanation why this

is so?

S: No. Not really. Other than she no longer cares about me.

SD: What do you mean? That she no longer cares for you?

S: You know, she just doesnt have time for me. I mean, I work 50

hours a week, take time to work-out at the gym, serve on some

community boards, need to go fishing with my Dad and brother.

And read a lot of books when I am home.

SD: Let me ask. Can you think of any way in which you are

participating in your wife not spending time with you?

S: No. (pause) Well, I guess I am pretty busy. Do you think my

work and other activities play a role in my wife not wanting to

spend time with me?

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SD: Perhaps; perhaps not. Tell me what you think.

In this exchange, notice how the SD begins to call forth aninteractional issue. This happens when the SD asks the S Can

you think of any way in which you are participating in (her) not

spending time with you? S, at first, seems oblivious to the role

he is playing in his relationship with his wife. A relationship, by

definition, implies mutual reciprocitya give-and-take. The job

of the SD is to help the S get some insight into the particular role

he is playing in the marital relationship and to ask how this

pattern is manifested in his relationship with God. People

develop particular ways of interacting with God. Some, like the

person above, are unable at first to realize their role in the

exchange. It is important to point this out, especially when

people claim that God and consciousness of God are missing

from their lives.

A final example:

SD: Alice what brings you to see me today?

S: I dont know why, but I cry a lot and I do not know why. Iguess I am scared or sad about something?

SD: Can you describe what being scared and sad is like?

S: I do not know if I can. I just wake up in the morning with this

horrible feeling in my stomach. It is like I am afraid to get out of

bed. And I do not know why. I have a fine job and am involved in

a relationship with a wonderful man. Oh, I just dont know.

SD: Alice I know you are unclear about what is going on inside

you but how about if you just make a guess at what is driving you

to feel and act the way you are?

S: Well. OK. If I were to guess

In this interchange the SD addresses an individual intrapsychic

issue by asking S directly, Can you describe what being scared

or sad is like? The SD addresses Ss answer to this question by

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Chapter 9:

Boundaries in the

Pastoral Role

This chapter addresses spirituality from a pastoral relationship. A

pastor is a person who is designated by their spiritual

community to exercise oversight over the care and cure of souls.

As such, a pastor is required to perform many rolespreacher,

teacher, worship leader, counselor, administrator, manager,

conflict-resolver, and more. Because of the permeable

boundaries that are endemic to the structure of a spiritual

communitys life, a major issue facing individuals in the pastoral

role is the appropriate delineation and use of corporate and

personal boundaries. Simple awareness of the need to developand establish boundaries in the pastoral role is inadequate. In

addition to awareness, a theological framework is needed to

enable pastors to identify and establish appropriate boundaries

to clarify their ministry and promote life in God consciousness.

A good place to start is the sacred text or texts your particular

tradition has designated as the canonical normor the

authoritative standard and measurefor faith and life in God.

These texts should be considered revelatory agents of God

someone or something that discloses something to us. In the

case of sacred texts, they were created and inspired by God to

disclose and help us experience God. When reading a text, it

is important to remember this. Pay attention to the words and

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In so far as we humans were created by a God, it is safe to

assume that we were created with boundaries and limits. We are

the creaturesnot the creator. However, what happens far toooften is we assume an unbounded life: alienation from God, each

other, and our selves. In the denial of our creaturely existence we

are led to believe that we are capable of living our lives without

limits. To live a life without limits is to claim to be God and we

need to be ever so careful that we catch ourselves when this

happens.

A commitment to God consciousness clarifies and reestablishes

a boundaried life. For at its core, God consciousness is

dependence on God and not on self. To be a part of creation is

to be a person who is willing to recognize and live within

boundaries and limits. It also implies focused roles based on

gifts and devotion-centered living which enables healthier life in

God consciousness.

A pastor, by definition, is a leader who tends the flock. Pastors

of local communities, like shepherds, are faced with decisionsinvolved in the exercise of leadership. How a pastor understands

leadership will determine not only how he acts but will also set

the tone for the entire community. For instance, if ones sees

leadership in terms of hierarchical domination then one will

assume an autocratic style and life in the community of the

faithful will reflect that authoritative style. However, if one

assumes leadership in terms of servant-hood, this too will play a

significant role in the life of the spiritual community.

Understanding leadership styles, personal as well as inherited, is

indispensable in boundary setting.

A spiritual congregation is a community of faithful gathered in

the name of God consciousness. As such, the community

carries with it an obligation for worship and service to God.

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The primary place to begin establishing boundaries is in the

liturgical life of the community. It is essential for people to

understand who they are (their identity) and why God calledthem into existence (their purpose). The Latin sayinglex

supplicandi legem statuat crenditranslates to the law of

worship constitutes or founds the law of belief. The place for

any spiritual activity, especially boundary making, begins with

and is founded on the worship, prayer, and devotional service of

a community. After a sound boundary for worship, prayer, and

service is established, a pastor can turn to the administrative

and other affairs of the community, such as individual spiritual

needs. Too often pastors filled with insights from management

and behavioral sciences make decisions that replace prayer and

devotional service with a desk. They turn their sacred calling

from being a servant of God into being efficiency experts who

are up on the most recent How to Manage People theories.

Pastors should not be in the business of merely managing

people. Pastors exist to guide and lead souls to God. Prayer,

worship, and devotional service are the primary vehicles by

which leading toward God takes place.

The claim that prayer, devotional service, and worship are the

primary vehicles that lead souls to God is made with the

understanding that these acts are parts of the revelatory

process between God and humanity. It is helpful to view

Revelation, Gods self-disclosure, in terms of the basic

communication modelsender, message, receiver connected

by feedback loopsthat enables the communication process to

function. A feedback loop plays the clarifying role within

communicationa check and balance in the give and take

between individuals. Prayer and worship are feedback loops and

the mechanisms humans use to receive Gods message. They

are of primary importance in establishing a relationship with

God. Prayer and devotional worship are the heart and soul of

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God consciousness. Spiritual identity is formed by the

community who gather to worship God and participate in

devotional service. The pastors first responsibility is that theworship, prayer, and service life of the community are sound and

in-line with their sacred tradition. The pastor should also be

diligent in his own practice and continue to develop his own

relationship with God.

The formation of a community of God-conscious people involves

more than liturgical worship. It includes having a vision that will

deepen the faith and character of the community in the everyday

issues of life. The best way to do this is to establish a central,

ethical boundary in light of your tradition. People may negotiate

the content of particular boundaries (whether or not it is

appropriate to wear red hats in worship, or the appropriate

expression of sexuality, etc.). Whatever the issue, the need for

general, ethical boundaries is not negotiable. If these

boundaries are not in place, the spiritual community will be

swallowed up into a sea of ideological pluralism where decisions

about life will be made merely according to matters of taste.

communication model

Sender = God

Message = Scripture, Tradition, Reason

Receiver = Us

Feedback Loops = Prayer & Worship

receiver

feedback loops

feedback loops

messagesender

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Realize the pastoral role is

multi-factorial

Appeal to sacred text

Recognize your limitations

Understand your leadership style

Focus on liturgy

Know the communication modelof revelation

Establish a vision

Remember God/human relationship

ways to create boundaries

As people of God we must remember that we are defined by our

relationship with God consciousness. Our entire existence finds

its meaning and purpose through and because of ourrelationship with God and the exercise of God consciousness.

Being created by God implies dependency and boundaries.

We must see ourselves as finite beings who err, surrender all

thoughts of omnipotence, and be transformed by presenting

ourselves as sacrificial servants to the Lord. Practically speaking,

pastors must define themselves and promote God

consciousness by embracing their limitedness. Being creatures

of God, we are all given the freedom for a limited existence

that will set us free for God consciousness. Awareness of God

comes through denial of self and selfish interest. The task of

the pastorthe director of soulsis to help people enter into

the limitedness of our existence so God consciousness can be

revealed. Boundary-making is one practical way that spiritual

leaders can lift up the reality of God and point individuals

beyond themselves to God consciousness.

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Chapter 10:

Continuity of Care

We have all heard stories about people who go on spiritual

retreats and have mountain-top experiences only to return to

everyday living unable to find a similar experience in the

mundane world. By mountain-top I am referring to a peak

experience when a person experiences complete and total

meaning and purpose in his life. This type of experience or

encounter can only come through God and consciousness of

God. A critical issue in any form of spiritual direction is how to

help a person transfer their mountain-top encounters with God

to all their worldly affairs.

It has been revealed to me over the years that nothing will

ensure conscious contact with God more than devotional

community service. Devotions are actionsverbal or non-

verbal, physical or non-physicalthat are offered on behalf of

and in the name of God. While a community is a group of people

who gather together, a devotional community is a group of

people who gather in the name of God. The purpose of a

devotional community is to acknowledge and give thanks to God

(worship) and to offer services or work on behalf of God (work).

Worship and work are two necessary foundational activities of

continuity of care. Worship is a celebratory act offered to God in

thanksgiving (eucharistia) for life and all the wonderful gifts God


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has given to us and to the entire creation. Worship is something

that takes place in a community. With the exception of people

called to the eremitical (hermit) life whose God consciousnessis tuned to levels beyond most human comprehension, humans

are social beings who need to exist in community. There is an

old saying that claims, If you look like a duck, and you act like

a duck, and you think like a duck, and eat like a duck, and walk

like a duck, and hang out with ducks, there is a good chance

that you are a duck. In order for continuity of care to happen for

people seeking God, it is vital that they participate, but not

suffocate themselves, in a group of devotees who come together

to praise God, support one another, and practice God

consciousness.

Part of learning the Art of Invisibilism and being an invisibilist

entails avoiding the creation of an unhealthy dependency

between yourself and other individuals. An unhealthy

dependency simply means one that does not allow fullness of

meaning and purposeconsciousness of Godto occur. In so

far as the role of a spiritual director is to guide people toconsciousness of God, you will not be effective in doing so if you

help the person coming to you for care and direction by

establishing a rigid attachment between the two of you. True

spiritual direction and formation should happen in community. A

community of people offers and provides more opportunities and

insights into God than any place else. A person may need the

security and trust that is established through personal

relationships with another, however, the purpose of spiritual

direction is to get self out of the way and show people the

reality of God. This will not occur if the director refuses to let go

and let God. Part of this letting go involves direction and

encouragement toward a community where the fullness of

God is more easily accessible. Community worship, praise and

thanksgiving to God will enable this to happen.

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Work is the other foundational activity necessary for the

cultivation of God consciousness. Work is an effort that is

exercised by one. Another way to understand this is to think ofwork as service. Work as service is an obligatory efforta duty,

freely offeredfor the edification of a particular purpose. In the

spiritual life, that purpose is God consciousness. Devotional

community service is effort that is offered to people in

community on behalf of God. It is a pure duty of love. It is

performed without any strings attached. Devotional community

service does not look for personal rewards, personal recognition,

or the reaping of fruits. It is performed out of love for God. While

this may sound easy, it is very difficult to do given our nature and

the various ego states we create. It requires diligent practice not

to become too attached to the consequences of a devotees life.

I am not suggesting that the relationship between a director and

devotee should be impersonal, but it needs to be objective in

the sense that it is not about you, but about the devotee and his

relationship with God that happens through devotional

community service. It is easy to trick ourselves into thinking that

we are responsible for anothers actions. When we do this, werefuse to allow for the operation of the grace and mercy of God.

One safeguard a spiritual director can use to prevent ego states

from taking over is to practice blessing. A blessing is an act that

acknowledges the existence of Gods mercy and grace and is

bestowed upon others with the expectation for the continuation

and protection of another (those upon whom it is conferred) by

God. It is a way of extending or offering assurance of the

existence of God consciousness. Blessing begins by realizing

that all of creationplants, things, animals and all that exist

exist because of the mercy and love of all. A place for you to

begin to cultivate this gift is by offering thanksgiving to God for

the gift of life in general and your individual life in particular. As

you do this you will become more sensitized to the existence of

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spiritual life, God consciousness. No one can spend too much

time giving thanks to God. It does not require great academic

credentials or flashy work resumes. A look at children duringworship and devotion confirms this. Giving thanks to God simply

entails recognition and gratitude. Gratitude refers to

appreciation, appreciation entails humility, humility assesses our

rank in the universe. We are creatures dependent upon God.

May God give you the grace to be humble so that you can

continue to care for others.

Translation

Devotional service

Worship

Avoid unhealthy dependencies

Encourage community involvement

Support work

Practice blessing

needs in continuity of care

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Chapter 11:

Spirituality

and Death

No discussion about spirituality would be complete without

considering death. One thing we all know for sure is that

everyone is going to die. As Jim Morrison of the music group

The Doors reminded us, No one gets out of here alive! But

what is death? Furthermore, what does out of here mean?

Death is an event whereby change occurs and not only occurs

but also is, in and of itself, change. But, change from what to

what? The answer to this question depends upon the worldview

an individual has embraced. Ones concept of death depends

upon the foundational metaphysical position a person holds.Metaphysics is an area of philosophy that asks the question,

What is there? There are two basic positions people take in

terms of metaphysical understandings: physicalism and dualism.

A physicalist is a person who believes that everything is a

physical substance or a derivative of a physical substance. A

substance is something that has properties, is not itself a

property, and maintains numerical identity over time regardless

of temporal issues such as change. A physical substance is a

spatial entity that has extension (volume) as its primary attribute.

A dualist, on the other hand, believes that there are two kinds

of substances: mental/spiritual and physical. (Note: I am using

the word spiritual interchangeably with mental. I am doing this


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because the point being made is that there is an independent

substance besides physical. A person can believe in the

existence of the mental without believing in the existence ofGod.) A spiritual substance is a non-spatial entity that has

consciousness or some other non-physical property as its main

attribute. What one calls this may vary. Since I am writing as a

theistone who believes in the existence of God, a non-physical

entity itselfI prefer to refer to the existence of non-physical

objects as spiritual ones. Therefore, a substance dualist

believes that the world is made up of spiritual and physical

objects that, while independent of each other, do interact.

A physicalist/materialist thinks of death in terms of a physical

substancein the case of humans, the physical body. A

substance dualist thinks of death in terms of the physical body

but also takes into consideration the existence of a spiritual

bodywhat is commonly referred to as the soul. Devotees of

God consciousness and most theists distinguish between what

is known as a genetically encoded corpsethe physical human

bodyand the soulthe non-physical human body. At the timeof the death, the genetically encoded corpse shuts down and

over time disintegrates or decomposes. However, at the time

of death, the non-physical body changes by shifting to another

realm of existence. In this sense, life is changed but not ended.

Volumes of work have been written on how this life change

occurs. Each religious tradition holds specific beliefs about

death, but the fact that life changes is not negotiable.

In relationship to spirituality, death signifies a change in life; the

life of the physical body and the life of the non-physical body.

A natural question that arises is, Does one have to wait until

death before one can experience the non

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