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SEPTEMBER 2018

THE EXAMINER IN BONDS

07’

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CONTENTSPg. 3 “Bible Bowl Champs” Pgs. 4 - 6 “Jailhouse Religion” By: Sdn. Seraphim Pgs. 7 - 8 “Naked and Ashamed: Dealing with it” By: Fr. Stephen Freeman Pgs. 9 - 10 “Conclusion of The Life of St. Seraphim of Sarov” By: Julia de Beausobre Pgs. 11 - 19 Part 3 of The Passions Series, “Everybody Plays God” By: Sdn. Seraphim

STAFF Fr. Michael Byars & Kouria Denise, Spiritual Directors; Sdn. Seraphim, Editor & Ministry Director, Robert Cosgrove, Volunteer Chaplain, Burt & Tabatha Noyes, Business Mgrs., Michael Brown, Volunteer Chaplain, Kathleen Atkins, Editorial Dept., Roger Hunt, Volunteer Chaplain, Dale “Profe” Whitman, Volunteer Chaplain, Armond & Eugenia Lienard, Pen Pal Dept., Ted & Katherine Droppa, Pen Pal Dept.

The Examiner In Bonds A Publication of:

St. Seraphim’s Fellowship An Orthodox Christian

Prison Ministry 375 Fleming Ave.

Ormond Beach, Florida 32174

We look forward to your letters, praise reports, art work,

questions about the Orthodox Faith, and prayer requests because you matter to us!St. Seraphim of Sarov

“Those who have truly decided to serve the Lord God should practice the

remembrance of God and uninterrupted prayer to Jesus Christ, mentally saying:

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

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Our diocese just held a Parish Life Conference in West Palm Beach, Florida. The Diocese of Miami is led by His Grace Bishop Nicholas and includes more than 35 churches and missions in Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Tennessee. All of these churches competed in a Bible Bowl contest to see which team would rise to the top in Scriptural knowledge. Our own church, Holy Cross Orthodox Church, won the contest and the team was made up, exclusively of our St. Seraphim’s Fellowship staff. We took the Gold! I am very proud of them.

Bible Bowl Champs

Pictured from left to right: Father Michael Byars, Dale “Profe” Whitman, Robert Cosgrove, Burt Noyes, and Bishop Nicholas.

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“Jailhouse Religion” By: Sdn. Seraphim

The term Jailhouse Religion has, in some circles, a negative connotation. This would be true of those who view people who are incarcerated as insincere. It is thought by those same people that prisoners will say anything or do anything for the sake of some benefit to themselves. It is true that people often have “come to Jesus” moments in times of crisis, like lying in a hospital bed with a critical illness, or while holding on for dear life in the middle of a tornado or a hurricane. These moments can often bring a stark clarity that illuminates one to the

frailty and brevity of of life, causing a sudden realization of our dependance on God. One might question the authenticity of a faith conversion made in such dire circumstances. It could certainly cause one to question whether the decision was genuine, or was it spurred on by fear in a last-ditch effort to make it into heaven?

As one might imagine, a similar phenomenon happens behind prison walls, to such an extant that it has been called “Jailhouse Religion”. Men and women get locked up and, in a moment of regret and despair, come to faith. Although we at St. Seraphim,’s Fellowship rejoice when any inmate comes to faith, we are also aware of the tendency to make rash decisions without fully understanding the necessary commitment to the tenants of Christianity.

Over many years of prison ministry, I have seen my fair share of jailhouse spirituality. I have come to understand the importance of not simply teaching and preaching, but of allowing sufficient time and exercising patience while waiting for real transformation to occur.

In the main, I have found the majority of people in prison to be sincere, but I am also aware that many chaplains and volunteers are sometimes impatient and in their impatience, they unknowingly create ‘spiritual criminals’. What do I mean by this? I mean that spiritual criminals wear their religious values like a coat. It’s strictly external. They can take it off or put it on anytime depending on who’s around. It’s not really a part of them. This spiritual jacket does much more harm than good, because it gives the volunteer false joy, and it denies the inmate a chance for a real, life-altering transformation.

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We at St. Seraphim’s Fellowship are committed to a process that brings real change. This process consists, on a human or rational level, of three themes; experience, critical reflection, and rational discourse. We endeavor to know you, to understand your life’s experience. This provides insight into your spiritual journey. It is then that we introduce you to the study of the passions in order to help you to understand who you are and how these passions have shaped your life, hence the article on the passions in this newsletter, and finally, rational discourse. It is here that we reason together as it says in the Book of Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’

I have always said that the men in prison are the “lucky” ones. I realize that that may sound odd, especially to one who is incarcerated, but think about it. You were caught! Think about the people on the outside who have never been caught and will quite possibly never have the same chance to face their sins and find redemption. Being one who is caught provides the opportunity to face your demons, to take spiritual inventory and finally discover what it is that has separated you from a Loving God. In addition, think about what might have happened if you hadn’t been caught. Many have told me that they would probably have wound up dead. So, in a true spiritual sense, the Lord Jesus Christ has stopped you in your tracks, has prevented you from becoming completely unredeemable and has brought you to a place where your life, as it was, has ended. Now, you have time to reflect, you have an opportunity to hear His voice once again. It was the Love of God that has brought you to where you are. It was because He loved you that He wanted to change the direction of your life, not simply in this world, but in the life to come. The word penitentiary means a place of repentance. Of course, in the modern prison system, this word has lost its meaning, but you know what the word means. Are you taking advantage of this opportunity, this special time that the Lord has provided for you?

That being said, I want to mention one last thing. There are so many different religions and sects that one can find in todays prisons; it makes it a truly daunting task to decide who you will listen to. In whom will you place your trust and eternal life? How does one decide? Prison environments with the chaos and violence create an atmosphere where many will seek to be part of a particular group for protection or safety. Many times it’s the same reasons that individuals join gangs on the outside. People seek safety in numbers, fellowship, or the desire to be a part of a family. None of these are good reasons to seek the Lord God. Nothing short of forsaking your own will and truly seeking to find the God of Salvation, the Lord and Giver of Life, and to make the changes that He requires, will do. God knows where you are! He knows what you have to deal with on a daily basis, and if you truly seek Him and Him only, He will direct your path and He will change you so that you will be more like Him. He will take you by the hand and lead you safely to eternal life.

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Why consider Orthodoxy?

St. Seraphim’s Fellowship does everything possible to bring you the Ancient, Historical, and unchangeable Christian Faith. One that through Apostolic Succession and Holy Tradition and Dogma, has gone unchanged for more than 2000 years. Orthodox Christianity is the second largest body of Christians on the planet. It is the same Faith that was virtually wiped out in Communist Countries like Russia.

I speak of Russia and the persecution against Christianity by the Soviets for only one reason: it is to show the hand of God actively protecting His Church against the onslaught of Satan. The Russian Orthodox Church, was subjected to an especially unrelenting assault during the first two decades of Soviet power. The 54,147 Orthodox churches and 25,593 chapels as of 1914 were reduced to between 100 and 300 by 1939. Then Moscow had only 15 to 20 functioning parishes from over 600; Leningrad, five from 401. Of 1,025 Orthodox monasteries and nunneries functioning in 1914, with some 95,000 monks, nuns, and novices, not a single one remained open in 1929, all 57 Orthodox seminaries and four theological academies were suppressed.

In addition, by 1939 Soviet authorities had closed or nationalized 37,528 Orthodox parochial schools, all 1,131 of its homes for the aged, and all 291 of its hospitals.

Of roughly 300 Orthodox bishops in 1914, less than 20 were alive by 1943. Orthodoxy’s staggering institutional and human losses must also, of necessity, be calculated in terms of arrests, executions, and forced labor terms, with mortality rates in confinement as high as 85 percent. It is estimated that by the late 1930s, Russia’s Communist Government was responsible for the deaths of some 80,000 Orthodox clergy, monks, and nuns. Executions of priests in these years have been estimated at over 15,000 and 5,000 respectively. In addition, the number of Orthodox parishioners who perished for their faith in the interwar decades ran into the hundreds of thousands.

A total of 23,000 Orthodox churches have been rebuilt in Russia in the past 20 years, Patriarch Krill of Moscow and All Russia said Friday. "Nothing of the kind has happened in any country at any time in history," the leader of Russia's Orthodox Christians said.Today the country has over 30,000 churches and some 1,000 monasteries. This is a miracle! And, it couldn’t have happened except by the Hand of God. My advice comes from Scripture: “Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints.” Jude 1: 3

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“Naked and Ashamed: Dealing with it” By: Fr. Stephen Freeman

The Scriptures record that Adam was ashamed and hid. It’s a primal response. Shame is experienced as a burning sense of exposure and vulnerability. It begs to be clothed upon and hidden. It is possible to say that human beings have been playing “dress-up” ever since. This can be understood in a literal manner as we wrap ourselves in fashion statements or tattoo identities on our skin. It can also be seen in an extended manner as we borrow identities from the various “tribes” with which we identify ourselves.

In a very personal way, it is a thought that enters our head as we prepare to meet strangers, and even those whom we know, as we think about how we want to be seen and evaluated. It can be a minor distraction, or threaten to shut us down completely. Many of our modern behaviors cluster around this reality. The more common, natural elements with which human beings have traditionally clothed themselves have either been radically modified or completely swept away amid the sea of constant change that marks our culture. I am encountering a growing number of young people (Middle School and above) who have lost confidence in their own gender, unsure whether it should be accepted at face value or traded in for one of the newer ways of being. That something so fundamental should be so easily questioned makes it little wonder that almost nothing else holds a grounded value. Today’s cultural clothing could become tomorrow’s naked shame.

A common response to all of this is to find islands of safety. Despite all the contrary rhetoric, contemporary Americans are not highly individualized: we are tribal, in the extreme. It is the group, however constructed, that gives identity, for the identity that is sought is one that covers us, that hides our vulnerability and gives us the safety of those who agree.

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A tell-tale sign of this dynamic is found in our culture’s anger. Anger is largely driven by shame and we can affirm our tribal protection only by shouting at the outsider. Everything outside the group threatens to unmask us. To an increasing extent, the group to which we belong is that set of people who share our anger.

I think about this dynamic particularly in the context of religious conversion and belonging. The process of conversion strips us of many things. It can feel alien and alienating. That itself can bring on a variety of efforts to “clothe” ourselves in ways that are less than helpful. T-shirts, coffee mugs, buttons and lots of icons, announce our new affiliation in much the same manner as our loyalty to a football team. On the emotional side, it is possible to become argumentative and aggressive or overly concerned about the boundaries of the Church. These responses are driven largely by our own neuroses and reveal things that need healing rather than nurture. It is not just conversion that produces such coverings – the personality needs of any individual, when expressed in religious terms, tend to flow along similar lines.

The Scriptures do not treat “being clothed upon” as a neurotic problem. That which is merely neurotic reflects something far more profound that is true and necessary. The nakedness of the soul, as we experience it, is a true nakedness. We have lost something that was/is proper to our very being. St. Paul describes this as being “clothed with the righteousness of Christ.” Or, more succinctly, “Clothed with Christ.”

“As many as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.” (Gal. 3:27)

It is our right and proper craving for this true covering that becomes distorted in our neurotic substitutes. That same covering is generally slow in its manifestation and presents itself in a mature form only with patience and endurance. Learning to bear with ourselves in the meantime is a very difficult thing. The Elder Sophrony taught that we should “learn to bear a little shame.” Each of us, in our growth, must learn to be a “fool for Christ” in some small measure. There is a saying attributed to St. Thérèse of Lisieux (Roman Catholic) that puts this as well as I’ve heard it: “If you can bear serenely the trial of being displeasing to yourself, then you will be for Jesus a place of refuge.”

God, give me the grace to put up with my weakness. Hide me under the shelter of Your wings.

 

Fr. Stephen is a priest of the Orthodox Church in America, serving as Rector of St. Anne Orthodox Church in Oak Ridge,

Tennessee. He is also author of “Everywhere Present”

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The Transfiguration of St. Seraphim with Motovilov

Part 2, “The Life of St. Seraphim of Sarov.”

By: Julia de Beausobre

Because of a special vision of the Mother of God he was given toward the end of his life, St. Seraphim took upon himself the feat of becoming an elder. He began to admit everyone who came to him for advice and direction. Many thousands of people from all walks of life and conditions began to visit the elder now, who enriched them from his spiritual treasures, which he had acquired by many years of efforts.

Everyone saw St. Seraphim as meek, joyful, pensively sincere. He greeted all with the words: "My joy! Christ is risen" To many he advised: "Acquire a peaceful spirit, and around you thousands will be saved." No matter who came to him, the starets bowed to the ground before all, and, in blessing, kissed their hands. He did not need the visitors to tell about themselves, as he could see what each had on their soul. He also said, "Cheerfulness is not a sin. It drives away weariness, for from weariness there is sometimes dejection, and there is nothing worse than that.” "Oh, if you only knew," he once said to a monk, "what joy, what sweetness awaits a righteous soul in Heaven! You would decide in this mortal life to bear any sorrows, persecutions and slander with gratitude. If this very cell of ours was filled with worms, and these worms were to eat our flesh for our entire life on earth, we should agree to it with total desire, in order not to lose, by any chance, that heavenly joy which God has prepared for those who love Him.”

The miraculous transfiguration of the starets' face was described by a close admirer and follower of St. Seraphim: Motovilov. This happened during the winter, on a cloudy day. Motovilov was sitting on a stump in the woods; St. Seraphim was squatting across from him and telling his pupil the meaning of a Christian life, explaining for what we Christians live on earth. "It is necessary that the Holy Spirit enter our heart. Everything good that we do, that we do for Christ, is given to us by the Holy Spirit, but prayer most of all, which is always available to us," he said."Father," answered Motovilov, "how can I see the grace of the Holy Spirit? How can I know if He is with me or not?”

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St. Seraphim began to give him examples from the lives of the saints and apostles, but Motovilov still did not understand. The elder then firmly took him by the shoulder and said to him, "We are both now, my dear fellow, in the Holy Spirit." It was as if Motovilov's eyes had been opened, for he saw that the face of the elder was brighter than the sun. In his heart Motovilov felt joy and peace, in his body a warmth as if it were summer, and a fragrance began to spread around them. Motovilov was terrified by the unusual change, but especially by the fact that the face of the starets shone like the sun. But St. Seraphim said to him, "Do not fear, dear fellow. You would not even be able to see me if you yourself were not in the fullness of the Holy Spirit. Thank the Lord for His mercy toward us.” Thus Motovilov understood, in mind and heart, what the descent of the Holy Spirit and His transfiguration of a person meant. In 1793, St. Seraphim was ordained a hieromonk, after which he served every day and received Eucharist for a year. St. Seraphim then began to withdraw into his "farther hermitage"—the forest wilderness about five km from Sarov Monastery. He achieved great perfection at this time. Wild animals—bears, rabbits, wolves, foxes and others—came to the hut of the ascetic. The staritsa, i.e., eldress, of the , Matrona Plescheeva, witnessed how St. Seraphim fed a bear that had come to him out of his hand: "The face of the great starets was particularly miraculous. It was joyous and bright, as that of an angel," she described. St. Seraphim once suffered greatly at the hands of robbers. Although he was physically very strong and was holding an axe at the time, St. Seraphim did not resist them. In answer to their threats and their demands for money, he lay his axe down on the ground, crossed his arms on his chest and obediently gave himself up to them. They began to beat him on the head with the handle of his own axe. Blood began to pour out of his mouth and ears, and he fell unconscious. After that they began to hit him with a log, trampled him under foot, and dragged him along the ground. They stopped beating him only when they had decided that he had died. The only treasure which the robbers found in his cell was the icon of the Mother of God of Deep Emotion (Ymileniye), before which he always prayed. When, after some time, the robbers were caught and brought to justice, the holy monk interceded on their behalf before the judge. After the beating, St. Seraphim remained hunched over for the rest of his life. Soon after this began the "pillar" period of the life of St. Seraphim, when he spent his days on a rock near his little hermitage, and nights in the thick of the forest. He prayed with his arms raised to heaven, almost without respite. This feat of his continued for a thousand days.

Many thousands of people from all walks of life and conditions began to visit the elder now, who enriched them from his spiritual treasures, which he had acquired by many years of efforts.

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NOTE: What are the Passions? They are the fleshly powers that control your life. Paul reminds us, “Those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” (Gal 5:24) Jesus reminds us, “From within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, fornication, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these things come from within and they defile man.” (Mark 7: 21-23)

You can also look at the parable of the sower where Christ tells us about the seeds that were sown among the thorns. He tells His disciples, “As for what fell among the thorns, they are those who, hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.” (Luke 8:14) The passions that come from your inner bodily programming do block you from your goal to be united with Christ.

“Everybody Plays God” By: Sdn. Seraphim

Part 3 of “The Passions Series” All of us get the feeling that we can take over God’s place when we are very, very young. Even as babies, we expect to get heavenly results when we make demands. When God says, “Let there be light,” then there’s certainly going to be light. We fully expect to operate on that same basis ourselves. We expect our teddy bears to stay put and our blocks to stay balanced even when we don’t pile them up very strategically. We expect people to accept us or pick us up whenever we smile and reach for them. We expect to have all of our needs met, to be protected, and generally to continue in a sort of blissful state. This infant ignorance actually comes from the first trickling of the passion of pride. Since none of us can actually see God, as infants we assume that we ourselves must be God.

As we grow older, we make more and more plans. We expect our plans to turn out well, the way that all of God’s plans turned out well when he created everything. Pride makes us feel so much like God that we can’t imagine being unable to carry out our innermost plans. So we go ahead as if we were all-powerful and all-wise, able to make beautiful and perfect lives for ourselves. We set up ambitious schedules and high goals, and we assume we shall live up to these aims all alone, without any help from God. We also assume that all of our ambitions are good, that we know the difference between good and evil, just like God, and that everything we want is absolutely fine and beneficial. We haven’t got a clue that God is out there trying to get it through our heads that He thinks differently than we do..

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"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher

than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isa. 55: 8-9 We have all seen many people who make very ambitious plans for their personal lives, or for their business or careers. Now there is nothing wrong with having a goal you hope to achieve in life, or with working hard to accomplish things that you believe are God’s will for you. In fact it’s important to do those things. It’s only when you set your mind on something and count on it as if you can positively make it happen that you’re in trouble. The passion of pride often makes people so sure that everything is going to work out the way they’ve got it figured out, that it detaches them from reality. They can’t even see the possibility of things not turning out the way they expect. They feel so utterly like gods that it never occurs to them that they could fail in anything they’re counting on. The Bible tells about such a man and what happened to him.

Luke 12:16-21 And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?

And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods. And I will say to my

soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich

toward God.

The main thing the passion of pride does then, is fill us with expectations of being able to accomplish a lot of aims without God. One of the passions with which the devil tempted Jesus in the wilderness was this passion of pride. He tried to get Jesus to go after worldly power by making a deal on his own and leaving his heavenly Father out of it.

Matthew 4:8-10 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.  And he said to Him, “All

these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.” 1 Then Jesus said to him, [a]“Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You

shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’ ”

So anytime you leave God out of any plan, and out of your fondest dreams, it is because the passion of pride is acting in you. Anytime we hope to produce heavenly fruits by ourselves, that is pride.

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The true heavenly fruits are; love, wisdom, justice, peace, kindness, compassion, patience, every beautiful and every perfect quality you can think of. Whenever you see these qualities in people, they have come from God, not from people by themselves. Now look at yourself and see whether you have been expecting something of yourself that really only comes from God. God has to put these qualities into us before we can have them. Were you expecting to be fair and just to people? You can’t until God shows you, in your own personal life, how real justice works. Were you expecting to be friendly and kind to others? You can’t until God has delivered you from certain fears and insecurities, until His Holy Spirit has strengthened you, and until you have recognized God’s kindness in your own life. Were you expecting to love someone with all your heart? You can’t until Jesus first comes into your own heart and teaches it what love really is, and gives you the power and understanding to love someone else.

All of the beautiful feelings and virtues and experiences we naturally yearn for are such that we can’t have even one of them without God. But the passion of pride makes us expect to have them all, by ourselves. Trying to run on our own steam like that, as if we didn’t need divine help, is the same as putting ourselves above God. So the Bible says pride makes us “exalt” ourselves. Because this passion makes us expect such beautiful, lofty things of ourselves, we are heading for a bad fall. The things we want and expect to happen, don’t. And remember, all people have the passion of pride, so everyone, sooner or later is destined to have this fall and all of the disappointments that go with it, even if their power failure is delayed until they grow fairly old. Expecting so much of ourselves is partly what causes so much sadness in all of human life.

Obad 3-4 The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee, thou that dwellest in the clefts of the rock, whose habitation is high; that saith in his heart, Who shall bring me down to the ground? Though thou exalt thyself as the eagle,

and though thou set thy nest among the stars, thence will I bring thee down, saith the LORD.

The fall comes when things that we fully expect from ourselves don’t happen. We were expecting to have wonderful personality traits, but it turns out that they are not all that wonderful. We were expecting to be lovable, but it turns out that people don’t love us very deeply. We expected to be important, but it turns out that we don’t even attract much interest. We were expecting to be pretty cool in our way of handling things, but instead we were often stupid and awkward. We can’t manage to do some of the things we care about most, like fitting in with certain groups and getting certain people to like us. Whatever disappointments you feel in yourself, they have come because the passion of pride has made you expect something too perfect to be realistic, something that only comes from God and can’t be manufactured by human beings.

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The whole world today is heartbroken and sore and bitter, because it has expected too much of human beings. Your disappointments with yourself don’t mean that anything is wrong with you as a human being at all. They mean that something is wrong with your idea of what you are, that to some extent you are thinking of yourself as a god instead of as an ordinary human being. When you dream you are supposed to be something wonderful and then turn out to be just another ordinary human being, a person can be very upset at first. When it happens to us, we feel that we are absolutely no good at all. But what we should really be discovering is that we are no good as gods. In fact, as gods we are total failures. When we have this experience of finding out we’re not the gods we thought, it’s the beginning of breaking through the passion of pride and discovering that we are real human beings, which as you shall see, is not a bad thing at all.

“When people blinded by pride meet with failures, they are astounded, like people who meet with something un-expected, and they are thrown into confusion and grow faint-hearted, for they see, fallen and prone to the ground, that image of themselves upon which they had put all their hopes and expectations. A man free Of pride is also disappointed when he fails, but he is not thrown into confusion and is not upset, because he knows the failure came from his human weakness, which is nothing unexpected or new to him.” (Quote from “Unseen Warfare” ) A classic Orthodox book On spiritual warfare.

When God lets us fall to cure our passion of pride, here’s what usually happens. Instead of expecting the wonderful things we used to of ourselves, we start expecting all the worst of ourselves. Or we may go back and forth a little, first expecting something marvelous and then expecting nothing but miserable failures. Mostly we expect to be failures, to be rejected by other people, to be left out of activities that interest us. We lose confidence in our own personality and in our own thinking and our own worthiness. More and more, we start going along with the thinking and behavior of any people who will accept us and include us in their group. When we lose confidence in ourselves and in our own thinking, we invariably allow people to lead us into directions that may not be wrong in themselves but are wrong for us personally. These can include; wrong educational pursuits, wrong pastimes, wrong careers, wrong social environments and the wrong friends. These wrong environments are like big nets being thrown over us, which prevent the real self from being able to move freely. Then we feel trapped, frightened, and hostile, just as any creature would.

“If someone dreams of reaching on high, moved by the suggestion of pride, Satan easily enslaves him in his nets.” (Gregory of Sinai)

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Another thing that happens when people lose confidence because of the passion of pride is that they reach a point where they undersell themselves, they constantly talk themselves down. That makes them quit trying to do things they would be interested in doing, and in a very sad way, it protects them from failures, because if you don’t try anything, you won’t fail in anything. Some of the individuals most affected by pride are the most intelligent and gifted people among us. When they fall and lose their confidence, their productivity may start to go down. They may lose the common sense they used to have, and start doing and saying a lot of dumb things.

If an opportunity comes along that would, let’s say, allow them to become a part of some great community or group, some opportunity like that that would raise their self respect and confidence, they will frequently shy away from it. In particular, they will shy away from people who are their intellectual, cultural and social equals. They will nearly always gravitate toward rather bizarre, mixed-up, uncreative and even low-life friends. They may claim they only want to help such people, but that’s never true, because they aren’t healthy enough to be moved by simple virtues like generosity and love.

“This is the cause of their perverseness, namely ignorance of themselves; and if anyone, having gained the knowledge of the truth, shall have

shaken off this ignorance, he will know to what object his life is to be directed, and how it is to be spent.” (Lactantius)

Sometimes people who have lost their confidence will try to cover up their feelings of inadequacy by pretending, to themselves as well as with others, to be loaded with confidence. They become positively obsessed with being right about everything and knowing more than anybody else. Usually they talk incessantly, and it’s very difficult to have just a short conversation with them or get a quick straight answer to a question from them. They tend to accept only their own opinions about everything and they are sure they have the latest dope on any subject you might bring up. They are, as some Christian writers have said, un-teachable. No one, however wise, can teach them anything, because they aren’t receptive to anybody else’s views. They seem to assume that other people don’t know anything that will be of value to them. So when they are quiet in a conversation, they aren’t listening as much as waiting for their turn to talk again. They can often analyze other people beautifully, but without any feeling or compassion.

“People full of pride are able to be superb critics of others, but they haven’t even the faintest suspicion of’ how much is wrong with

themselves.” (St John Cassian)

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People who have had and unusual amount of pride, and have therefore had unusually big disappointments in themselves, will nearly all go through this stage of thinking they know everything and criticizing others for awhile. So the Bible calls our attention to it, in order to make us realize that we have this unmistakable symptom of pride.

Matt 7:3-5 “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy

brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

What you might call the classic symptom of pride, and you can see it in people of all ages, is a sort of abnormal clinging to one’s family. You see, the tendency to get ourselves confused with God, which is what the passion of pride basically is, is already in us when we are born. But the thing that dangerously reinforces it is having parents who look too much like gods to us when we are little children, parents who seem so adequate for all our needs that we are never lead or compelled to go to the real God, or parents whom we never see going to the real God themselves. That kind of environment strengthens in us the idea that a human being can be God. It makes us expect to be gods the way our parents seem to be gods. If we come from that kind of situation, we get an unusually strong case of the passion of pride, which means that we are going to have unusually big failures and disappointments in life. When these failures come, we are plunged into confusion and despair. A person in that kind of trouble reaches for a life buoy. If someone can persuade him to let God be his life buoy, then everything will eventually be straightened out. God will show him that things aren’t half as bad as they feel, that he only has to realize he’s a human being and not a god. Then he will recover a healthy self-confidence, although for someone very sick with pride, it may take a long time. But if God isn’t presented to him, he will grab at the only security he has ever known, his parents or those authority figures in his life.

I am aware that many of you have been estranged from parents and families for years. This security that I am writing about can also come from a spouse or girlfriend or other person, who may have in some emotional way, been providing that same kind of security that would have normally come from parents. No matter how often he fails, these people will usually encourage him. They will often have shared with him his high expectations of himself, so they will be sympathetic with his disappointments and failures.

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They may remind him of wonderful and promising things he has done in the past or even as a child, and that will comfort him a little now that he feels like a failure. Many times they will have offered money or other material help, their ability to do this is partly what has made them look like gods. Perhaps they kept some social connections alive that he felt he couldn’t do by himself. So it just seems to be a law of nature that the more anyone is a failure because of pride, the more he will try to live on the success and capabilities and reputation of his family, ancestors or others. Whatever they’ve done that looks good, he will claim and talk about almost as if he’d done it himself.

Pride in one’s family, or ancestry has always been an extremely serious threat to spiritual and psychological growth. If you are going to boast about your family, or if you have done this in the past, then one thing is sure; you never have nor will you ever be in a position to boast about your relationship with God. St Paul repeatedly tried to show the other Jews that they must not depend on their ancestry for their salvation. The Jews were justly proud of Abraham and Moses and all their great prophets. Theirs was the one royal family of the whole world. St. Paul, and later several of the fathers, often told the non-Christian Jews that their God was the true God, that their Law was good and their prophets were saints, but all of these still couldn’t make them personally worthy of God’s grace. He told them that they would have to gain spiritual value of their own, and not depend upon their families or ancestors.

People who are so full of pride that they become overly dependent upon their families are bound to resent them in the end, because leaning on one’s family keeps increasing the feeling of failure, a feeling everybody just naturally hates. The only reason so many people are full of resentment and anger against their parents or families or institutions or the establishment or whatever, is that they are so filled with pride, so mixed up about what God is and what human beings are, that they were or are expecting all of these figures to be gods. A lot of those figures had just as much pride and really tried to play God. But that’s their problem. Your problem is only to get rid of the pride in yourself so you don’t play God and pass the game on to your children. Anyone who expects his parents to be gods, and wants to lean on them as if they were, will end up disliking them intensely. If you put your parents first, above God, you’ll hate them and also hate God because of the way things will turn out. But if you always put God first and lean completely on Him, you will end up truly loving both God and your (merely human) parents.

As I said in the last newsletter, you get delivered from the ignorance and confusion of pride simply by asking Jesus to take it out of you. You don’t do anything else about it. It a spiritual desease that only the Great Physician can heal. As He heals you, you will gradually see who you really are and who God really is. All the little ways in which we secretly confuse ourselves with God will be weeded out. At first you will feel disappointed in yourself, when you discover for sure that you don’t have any of the virtues and powers you thought you’d have. But at the same time you’ll feel a sensational relief, because you be starting to see the answer. It’s the real living God, standing by to give you, not just the wonderful traits and powers you were hoping to have, but even far better qualities.

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You see, the things we dream of being and doing by ourselves only look great to us because we are so ignorant. In comparison with the abilities and virtues the Lord will put into you if you will let Him, they are like so much rubbish.

The whole world is absolutely filled with pride. Your problem is only to get rid of the pride in yourself, so you don’t play God too, like they did. I want to remind you of something in the story of the Prodigal Son. There is a reference to the pig pen, which is a metaphor for the world..

Luke 15:15-20 “And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread

enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his

neck, and kissed him.”

This is what happens in the pig pen, or world, that was described in the story of the Prodigal Son. It’s what I am trying to share with you. The pride and other passions just keep being passed down from one generation to the other, unless you come to yourself and return to The Father’s house as he did. Anyone who expects his parents or authority figures to be gods, and wants to lean on them as if they were, will end up hating them If you put these figures first, above God, you’ll hate them and also hate God because of the way things turn out. But if you always put God first and lean completely on him, you will end up truly loving both God and them. As I wrote to you in last newsletter, you get delivered from the ignorance and confusion of pride simply by asking Jesus to take it out of you.

You don’t do anything else about it. It’s a spiritual disease which only the Great Physician can heal. As he heals you, you will gradually see who you really are and who God really is. All of the little ways in which we secretly confuse ourselves with God will be weeded out. At first you will feel disappointed in yourself, when you discover for sure that you haven’t any of the virtues and powers you thought you’d have. But at the same time you’ll feel a sensational relief, because you’ll be starting to see the answer. It’s the real living God, standing by to give you, not just the wonderful traits and powers you were hoping to have, but even far better qualities. You see the things we dream of being and doing by ourselves look great to us because we are so ignorant. In comparison with the abilities and virtues the Lord will put into you if you let him, they are like so much rubbish.

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There is no way to get really deep knowledge of who you are and what you are like except by praying to be healed of pride. This is a prayer that God has never failed to answer and will never fail to answer. It is the ancient formula for getting out of any confusion you have about yourself and moving into a really clear view of yourself. One of the first things you discover is a bit of knowledge you already have in your very nature, something that’s always been there that you didn’t know about. You discover that your real self already knows there’s a God and already knows that you need Him. That takes one load off your shoulders. You don’t have to work at drumming up some kind of faith on your own, because the actual knowledge that you are a human being and that you are meant to live with the Lord is right there like an instinct inside of you. The minute enough pride gets cleared away, you see that knowledge popping up without the least effort on your part.

“For the knowledge of God’s existence has been implanted by him in all of us.

It is in us by nature.” (St. John of Damascus)

“When man was created, a certain knowledge of God was implanted in him, and in all men. That knowledge makes us tend to love God.”

(Basil the Great)

Later, sometimes much later, sometimes just a little later you meet the Son of God in your heart. You meet Jesus. When that happens, everything changes inside of you. All through your whole being, you realize that you never want to play God again for anything in the world, because having the real God with you is too great a thing to lose. With him there, you don’t have to worry about having any good traits of your own. He is so wonderful you can’t even look much at yourself in his presence. You don’t have to protect yourself, or care whether you’ve been a failure, or wonder what’s going to happen to you. You’re so carefree you can hardly believe it. God is everything and you know it. He is the complete and perfect answer to everything we are, everything we need, everything we love, everything we hope for. Once you meet him, you know you can’t live without him. You love his name and use it reverently all the time. That’s what it’s like when the passion of pride goes down in you as a result of your prayers. You know, you ‘REALLY’ know in your heart, who the Lord is and who you are. And you begin to live just at that point. As one of the holy fathers says, “Have you found God?, then you have found life!”

In our next issue, we will continue our look at the Passions.

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The remote location of St. Catherine’s Monastery in the Egyptian Desert preserved the Icon, not only from the Iconoclasm of the Byzatine period, but from mosture as well.

For if thou shouldest speak in such manner outside the prison, many will even laugh, being dissipated by their excessive luxury: but those who are in adversity, having their minds humbled, shall meekly attend to thy words, and praise them, and become better

men. Since even when Paul preached, the Jews often derided him, but the prisoners listened with much stillness. For nothing renders the soul so fit for heavenly wisdom as calamity and temptation, and the pressure of affliction. Considering all these things,

and how much good we shall work both to those within the prison, and to ourselves, by being continually mixed up with them, let us there spend the time we used to spend in the market-place, and in unseasonable occupations, that we may both win them and

gladden ourselves, and by causing God to be glorified, may obtain the everlasting blessings, through the grace and lovingkindness of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom and

with whom, to the Father and the Holy Ghost, be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Icon of St. John Chrysostom, and quotation

by him below.