a medieval guide to friendship

7/23/2019 A Medieval Guide to Friendship

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A Medieval Guide to Friendship

What kind of friend are you? A 13th-century writer looks at types of friends, most of whom

you want to stay away from!

Boncompagno de Signa, who was orn near lorence in etween 11"# and 11$#, rose to

prominence as a teacher of grammar and rhetoric in Bologna% By the eginning of the

thirteenth-century he had written on a wide &ariety of topics, ranging from punctuation to

history%

'n the latter months of 1()#, while he was staying in *ome, Boncompagno composed the

Amicitia, a guide to friendship, or more precisely a guide to what kind of friends to e wary

of% +he ook is set as a deate etween Body and Soul o&er what friendship really means% 't

starts off optimistically, saying that friendship is the result of di&ine power and is found to

the highest degree in men and angels% riendship is a hea&enly power which chooses to dwell

only among the &irtuous% riendship is the root of innocence, the dispenser of all oy, the

sincerity of true faith, the strength of eagerness, the foundation of peace, and the source of all

good things%.

/owe&er, theAmicitiamo&es on to a leaker look at friendship, finding it almost impossileto ha&e a true friend% Boncompagno lists twenty-si0 types of friendship - only three of them


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are positi&e e2ual, faithful and real friends% +he rest are types of friends that it would e

etter not to ha&e%

Boncompagno first offers a 2uick e0planation of these types of friends, and then adds some

e0amples and anecdotes of what they are like% Some of his stories he seems to take from his

own e0perience working as a teacher in Bologna, while with others he finds similarities inthe historical e&ents of his day% /ere are some portions of his guide to friends4

The Powerful Friend

+he powerful friend is one who rises to a high status, ut since friendship ignores status, here

there is a contradiction etween the noun and the accompanying adecti&e% 'ndeed, there are

some powerful friends, aleit rarely, who are willing to keep company with suser&ient

friends5 ut eware of that powerful friend who wishes to imprison your will and keep it

ound to his own% 6nly with difficulty can you look him in the face5 since if you ha&e to

wash his feet you will not dare e&en to dry your hands in his presence%

The Vocal Friend

+he &ocal friend attends to his friends with words alone% or he says4 What a wonderful

knight that count is, how generous and pleasing and how he looms again in the ca&alry!. 6r

again4 6 what a good cleric he is, how well educated, and how he shines y the uprightness

of his eha&ior!. 'n this way all are praised for their position and functions, ut this is the

way of dogs and irds and the testicles of goats that are sold in the utchers could e praised%

The Here and There Friend

+he here and there. friend runs to his friend and full of oy emraces him and &ows his

allegiance saying4 Behold ' will come and e with you whene&er it pleases you%. /e goes

and runs hither and thither, and with his friend tours around different places, ut does not

want to e of ser&ice in anything else to anyone%

The Conditional Friend

+he conditional friend does not make a friend e0cept under a condition, such as, 'f you gi&e

me something, ' will gi&e you something5 if you ring nothing, ' will keep e&erything for

myself%. What he is saying in fact is4 7hoose whether you want to e my friend and come

help me with your goods when ' need them, otherwise what is yours is yours and what ismine is mine%.

The Imainar! Friend

+he imaginary friend is the one whom you ha&e ne&er seen and yet lo&e him and praise him

ecause of some kind of image of celerity, elie&ing that he will e fa&oraly disposed to

eing your friend% And yet you clearly know that this kind of friendship often comes to

nothing and is stillorn%


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The "hadow! Friend

+he shadowy friend is eager under the shadow and &eil of friendship to show his de&otion in

so many ways until he gets what he wants% or shadowy friends can truly e said to e like

those many people who are infected with the leprosy of high office5 since efore they are

promoted they hid the poisons of deceit and a&arice y promising rewards and offering giftsto those with whom they wont to con&erse% ' do not propose to instruct you any further

concerning their deceits and mockeries since e0perience itself has taught you often enough%

The Counterfeit Friend

+he counterfeit friend is one who speaks in a deceitful way and is ne&er ashamed of lying8a

certain man had a granddaughter who was lame and was &ery short in stature and so he was

not ale to marry her off% +herefore, he had shoes made with thick cork under her soles and

ordered her not to mo&e from her place% +hus the counterfeit friend decei&es with a twofold

deception%

The Hauht! Friend

+he haughty friend fill his nostrils with mustard and spirits so that any kind of friendship

seems to stink to him% 6ut of an e0cess of haughty pride he can arely put up with others% 'n

fact, he speaks adly of all, mocks e&eryone, critici9es other people:s eha&ior and praises his

own%

The #ithdrawin Friend

+he withdrawing friend is initially ardent, then cools down, and finally fades away, andwhate&er he egins with enthusiasm he aandons with shame% or often he seems to oil like

water in showing the warmth of his allegiance to his friends, and soon afterwards goes

ackwards like a shrimp and in the matter of affection ecomes colder than ice%

The Fair$#eather Friend

+he fair-weather friend spins like a wheel and udges according to circumstances8you ha&e

seen not long ago some of the people of 7apua and Salerno who on the ;ord:s


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+he predatory friend has often pushed you into the snare laid y huntsmen, and with good

reason ' hold him to e an actor who can e compared closely to a dog8Any kind of fawner

can e said to a hunter friend, and nearly all women are hunter friends since they do not cease

to set up nets and lay snares in order to catch the souls, and the money, of the unwary%

The Turncoat Friend

+he turncoat friend greets you with a o&ial e0pression, emraces you in his arms with

affection, and says 6 ine0haustile spring and crown of philosophers!. But e careful,

ecause in the same string of praise he will either turn up his nose or twist his lips in a sneer,

or stick his tongue out ehind you, or wink an eye making a gesture of contempt, or shake his

head, or, like an actor on stage, will co&ertly make signs of derision with his hand or foot%

The Camouflaed Friend

+he camouflaged friend is like a ird-catcher who lays ait so as to make someone fall into

the e&il will of his listeners% /e is camouflaged in the same way as a woman uses make-up inorder to increase her false eauty% +he camouflaged friend puts on the rouge and powder of

affection, so that the arrangement of his words has the appearance of the truth%

The Pleasure$"ee%in Friend

+he pleasure-seeking friend mi0es &ice and faithfulness together% 'ndeed, such pleasure-

seeking friends e2ually practice adultery, fornication, plunder, theft, and other similar odily

pleasures, while often preser&ing a mutual faithfulness% 6n the other hand, some of these later

go on from &ice to &irtue, ut in most cases, as soon as the pleasure-seeking ends, so does the

feeling of affection%

The &linded Friend

+he linded friend is the one who sumits to the will of a woman and places all of his hope in

her% /e is called linded. ecause his eyes ha&e een darkened under the &eil of worthless

lo&e and odily pleasure, so that he cannot see the truth and no longer knows himself% or,

the heart of a woman is like 2uicksil&er which transforms all odies and makes them like

itself8'ndeed, it is e0tremely difficult for any man, and especially for a young man, to a&oid

the wiles and snares of women% /owe&er, there are se&en cures which will help linded

friends4 the contemplation of our home in hea&en, lo&e of knowledge, hard work, the desire

of gain, the game of dice and of ha9ard, fre2uent change of place, and &ariation in affection%

The #orthless Friend

+he worthless friend like a woman re&eals all secrets and cannot keep anything hidden% /e is

called futile:, that is empty, ecause he emits &apor like a pumpkin with a hole, and his

reast is like a sie&e which does not hold what is clean ut only keeps the thick residue%


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ou can read the full te0t and translation ofAmicitiainBoncompagno da Signa, Amicitia and

De malo senectutis et senii, y ichael W%

a medieval guide to friendship

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