A Noble Adventure

A True Story by the Noble Listener Goddesses of the Dark Depth

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The Noble Goddesses cautiously follow a tunnel beneath the isolated and bizarre Utopia of Miamiland

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It was a dark and stormy night.When daylight dawned, the storm’s wrath could be seen, and its power had opened a swath of sidewalk, which allowed light to shine through into a network of tunnels beneath.A Deep Earth sorority known as Noble Listener Goddesses of the Dark Depth had sent three of its members – Goddess Noble, Goddess Dark, and Goddess Listener – into the intricate system of and tunnels to find the Source…and also as part of one of those irritating team-building exercises.

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The Noble Goddesses peer up at the source of light, beneath a sidewalk on the Western portion of Miamiland

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When they arrived directly beneath the source, their Deep Earth GPS indicated they were in a sort of Utopia called “Miamiland” by the natives. This puzzled the Noble Goddesses, as they had explored Deep Earth beneath a massive and noisy place called Miami, nowhere near here. Also, the GPS indicated they were beneath what was called Western at Miamiland, although they were obviously on the eastern side…further proof that the natives were a bit soft in the head where geography was concerned.

They began to climb.

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The Goddesses befriend The Director of Energy, an almighty man (photo edited for decency)

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Suddenly, a Miamilander materialized out of the gloom. Goddess Dark sensed no Evil in him and opted not to disintegrate him with her Deep Earth Blaster.

Besides, he was kind of cute.

As it turned out, this soul had the mystical and all-powerful title of Director of Energy of Mi-amiland, and he awed the Goddesses with his knowledge of the tunnel network. He told them two important things:

1) there was a better way to go Into the Light than through the steel grate above2) they were naked and needed to find something called clothes

What a nuisance.

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The Goddesses figure out the Geothermal world beneath Miamiland’s Western campus – which is actually located on its East side – but whatever (photo edited for decency)

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While leading them out, Mighty Doug of Energy showed them a map of the elaborate system which they had ascended into, calling it the Geothermal Center of the Universe. (Note to reader: The Director actually said ‘university,’ which has been corrected as the girls saw no logical reason why something called a university would exist).

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Convenient Chains for Ascension are located throughout the Miamiland Underworld

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Once the elaborate map was memorized, the Goddesses ascended into Miamiland.

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Sherry, who resides in an Apple Tree and is a Miamilanderalumni, covers the Noble Goddesses with Miamianland clothing…all of which is appropriately trademarked and licensed

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The heroines found help in covering themselves from a friendly Miamilander who called herself a Miamialumni. Apparently, this sub-species had devolved into a crazed tribe all unto itself, understood only by other members.

Then it was time to be off to find a home for shelter.

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3. What would people b

e surprised to know ab

out you?

He has knitted two swe

aters

4. What’s your favorit

e book?

-On China by Henry Kis

singer

-The Boys in the Boat

by Daniel James Brown

-The Book Thief by Mar

kus Zusak

-Long Walk to Freedom

by Nelson Mandela

5. What’s your favorit

e spot on campus?

Thebirdblindandbutt

erflygardeninthe

Natural Areas

Jim ReidField Manager, Miami University Natural Areas

Biology Department14 years at Miami + 4 years as a student

1. What are some of the things you like most

about Miami? -the people -location in a small town

-high standards & academic excellence

2. What is your position at Miami?

Jim manages of the 1000 acres and 17

miles of trails that comprises the Miami

University Natural Areas

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Sherry of Alumni, anxious for the girls to find shelter, introduced them to another Miamilander – Jim Reid, Master of all Natural Areas, another powerful being Goddess Dark decided it would be risky to harm. In fact, the Goddesses were so intrigued they asked him several questions about his power and oversight.

Then he showed them where to go Into the Woods.

16The Goddesses cross the raging torrents of Four Mile Creek in Miamiland Bachelor Preserve

A long, strenuous journey then began in the treacherous area known as Bachelor Preserve.

Over the river…

17Vines help the Goddesses move through the dark woods of Miamiland

...Through the woods...

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…Scaling the Cliffs of Doom in Peffer…

Goddess Dark, Goddess Listener and Goddess Noble above the Clif fs of Doom

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…Stopping only briefly in a strange forest of strange snacks…where there lived strange men in uniforms, tossing a small white ball.

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The Goddesses help young Miamilander males move poor quality belongings

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The Goddesses briefly emerged from the cover of Mother Nature, and were stopped by what seemed to be harmless young male Miamilanders who asked for their help moving into their shelter.

The males referred to the Goddesses as “hot” and offered refreshing beverages in exchange for their help. Since the tired Goddesses were indeed quite hot, they accepted the offering, which they enjoyed MUCH more than moving things around.

After the males began to mutter that the Goddesses were “hot but lazy,” the Hot Goddesses debated whether to disintegrate them, but felt it would be dishonorable after accepting refreshment. So, they declined an invitation to do something called ‘party’ and left to seek shelter in a more secluded area.

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Aghast and dismayed at the size of an Ancient Enemy in the Ecology Preserve

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Then, as the Noble ones crossed into a vast swatch of land called the Ecology Preserve, their spines tingled. They felt an almost impalpable shift in the atmosphere, and discovered the Preserve was an outdoor laboratory where mysterious experimentation was done with plants and….eeeeeek!!....bugs!

They had a baaaaaad feeling about this.

Suddenly, they were shocked to discover that the most Ancient Enemy of those who live in Deep Earth, known to feast upon squealing sisters of their dark sorority, was living in the Outdoor Laboratory! But, here the Ancient Enemy could not be squished – it was 150 Meters tall!

24The Goddesses tap into The Source of All Wisdom in the Sacred Silvoor Sanctuary

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As they grasped the fact that Miamilanders, whom they had begun to view as a geographically-challenged but benign species, worked in cooperation with such Monstrous Evil, the Noble Goddesses were sore afraid.

They turned to a sacred wilderness Sanctuary to seek Spiritual Guidance from the Center of the Earth.

And lo! A plan was delivered unto them! They must stop being nice and get the hell out of here.

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Meek Miamilander agrees to all terms

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They rushed out of the woods and out of the dark and Into the Light…

And the Dark Goddess pointed her blaster at the first Miamilander they found and demanded, “Take us to your leader!”

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The Goddesses drop all pretense at friendliness and demand assistance from the Leader

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The Leader, Pres-i-dent, was eager to help the Noble Goddesses leave as quickly as possible.

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Contact!

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The Leader made a call to someone he knew who had something called ten-ure that made him immortal. The immortal, Plattman, had a mysterious connection with Virtual Worlds and Alternate Realities.

He met the Noble ones on the Leader’s compound and summoned an extraterrestrial friend of his, who happened to be in the neighborhood.

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Farewell!

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And then, as mysteriously as they arrived, the Noble Listener Goddesses of the Dark Depth flew away. Of course, they did not realize that once having been part of Miamiland, there is no escape…..

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...you can check out any time you like, but you can NEVER leave.

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...you can check out any time you like, but you can NEVER leave.

TheEnd