1

COVID-19LOCKDOWN

APersonalAccount

ByAbidKhan

2

Introduction

Thisyearhasbeenunlikeanyotherand,atthetimeofwriting,peoplethe

worldovercontinuetobeafflictedbyanxietyanduncertaintyduetoCOVID-

19.

In the past, all diaries I have written have been published as ‘personal

accounts’but,wheretheyhaveincludedpersonalincidents,theyhavealso

recordedcertainJamaateventsormeetingsmoreformally.

Thisdiarythoughisverymuchapersonalaccountfromstarttofinish.Itdoes

notrelatetotheinstructionsHazratKhalifatulMasihV(aba)hasgivento

JamaatsacrosstheworldortheguidancehehasgiventoAhmadisregarding

COVID-19. Rather, it exclusively details personal interactions that I have

been fortunate to have with Huzoor during these past few weeks and

months.

Aviruslikenoother

ThroughJanuaryandFebruary,IpresenteddailyupdatestoHuzoorabout

thecoronavirusandafterseeingHuzoor’sreactionandresponse,itwasclear

tomeatanearlystagethatthiswasnoordinaryvirus.Fromtheoutset, I

couldseehowseriouslyHuzoorwastakingtheoutbreak,wellbeforeitwas

declaredaglobalthreatorapandemic.

Most Ahmadis will be familiar with the fact that Huzoor prescribed

homeopathymedicinesforCOVID-19intheveryearlystages,whenthevast

majorityofcasesremainedinChinaoritsneighbouringcountries.

3

Inasimilarvein,Irecallhow,inmid-February2020,whentheUKwasstill

verymuch ‘open’ and restrictionswere still severalweeks away, I asked

HuzoorifourJamaateventswouldbeaffectedbythecoronavirus.

Inresponse,Huzoorsaid:

“Yes,itislikelytheywillbe.ThePeaceSymposiumisscheduledforlate

MarchbutIdonotthinkitwillbepossibletoholdit.”

Thereafter,Huzoorasked:

“WhatdoyouthinkaboutholdingthePeaceSymposium?”

Uponthis,Imosthumblysubmitted:

“Huzoor, I also thought that it may be difficult, especially, given that

guestscomefromacrosstheUKandabroad.Itisalsopossiblethatthere

couldbegovernmentrestrictionsonlargegatheringsbythen.”

Hearingthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Yes,wewouldnotknowwheretheguestshavetravelledrecentlyorwith

whomtheywouldhavecomeintocontactandsothereisaclearrisk.”

In lightofthisconversation,Iwasunsurprisedwhenafewdayslater, the

PeaceSymposiumwas cancelledonHuzoor’s instruction, even though, at

thattime,massgatheringswerecontinuingintheUK.

4

Precautionarymeasures

AswemovedthroughMarch,theatmosphereinEnglandandotherpartsof

the United Kingdom began to change, as we witnessed through our TV

screensthedesperatestrugglesandmiseryofthepeopleofItalyandSpain,

wherethedeathtollswererisingatahorrifyingrate.

The number of cases in the UK was also rising but still the British

Governmentseemedreluctanttoimposetherestrictionsenforcedinother

nations.

In contrast, our Jamaat, under Huzoor’s direction, continued to take

preventativemeasures.Huzoorspokeabout thecoronavirus inhisFriday

SermonsandgaveclearguidanceforAhmadistofollow.

Forexample,Huzoorinstructedelderlyorvulnerablepeopletostayathome

wellbeforeanyofficialguidanceor instruction fromtheGovernmentwas

given.

IntermsofourJamaatofficeenvironment,Iwaspersonallygivendetailed

instructions from Huzoor about how staff members should isolate

themselvesathomeiftheyhadeventheslightestsymptoms.

Inaddition,smallerpracticalmeasureswerealsotaken.Forexample,white

sheetsthatwerewashedandreplacedaftereachprayer,wereplacedontop

of thecarpet in theMubarakMosque in Islamabad inorder toreduce the

spreadofbacteria.

5

Asenseofdread

As we progressed into the second half of March, finally, the restrictions

announced by the UK Government gradually increased, culminating in a

speechdeliveredbythePrimeMinisterBorisJohnsonon23March2020.

Priortothespeech,allindicationswerethatthePrimeMinisterwassetto

effectivelymandateanationallockdown.

I cannotdeny that I felt impendingdreadat the thoughtof the lockdown

because I feared it would lead to the suspension of my daily routine of

reporting to Huzoor for Mulaqat, something that had been the greatest

privilegeofmylifeoverthepastdecade.

DuringmyMulaqatwithHuzooron23March2020,Ihesitantlyasked:

“Huzoor, if the UK Government orders a lockdown, possibly from this

evening,shouldIstillreporttoIslamabadforMulaqat?”

IdreadedHuzoor’sanswerandsureenoughhisresponseconfirmedwhatI

hadfeared.Atthesametime,hisanswerillustratedhispietyandadherence

toIslamicprinciplesoffollowingthelawsoftheland.

Huzoorsaid:

“Yes, if the Government bans travel or enforces a lockdown then you

shouldnotcomeandshouldstayathome.”

6

Perhapsseeingthedejectedlookonmyface,Huzooradded:

“Baqiphoneparrabta.”

Meaning:

“Apartfromthat,wecancommunicateonthephone.”

This comment partially alleviated my sadness, though I did not really

understandwhatHuzoormeantbyit.

Ithoughtperhapsitmeantthatourcommunicationoverthenextfewweeks

wouldbethroughtextmessageorperhapsthatMunirJavedsahib(Private

Secretary)mightcallmetoconveyHuzoor’sinstructionsorguidancefrom

timetotime.

Lockdown

I drove home and listened far more eagerly than usual to the address

deliveredbythePrimeMinistertothenation.

Normally,Ilistenorreadstatementsofdifferentleadersorofficialsfromthe

perspectiveofseeingiftheysayanythingnoteworthywhichImayneedto

reporttoHuzoor.However,onthisoccasion,myforemost interestwasto

seehowtheGovernment’sinstructionswouldaffectmyabilitytoreportfor

Mulaqat.

7

Asexpected,thePrimeMinisterdidannouncealockdown.However,healso

saidthatifitwasimpossibleforsomeonetoworkfromhometheywouldbe

permittedtocontinuetogotowork.

WhenIheardthis,mylawyerlyinstincts,whichhadremaineddormantfor

thepast13years,wereinstantlyresuscitated.Thefirstthoughtthatcameto

mymindwas‘loophole’!

I convincedmyself that because it was not possible forme to report for

MulaqatwithHuzoorwhilstworkingfromhome,itwouldnotbewrongor

unlawfulformetocontinuetotravelforMulaqat.

However,giventheinstructionsandguidanceHuzoorhadgivenmeearlier

intheday,IknewIcouldnotsimplyreportforMulaqatasnormalthenext

day.Rather,IwouldneedtoseekHuzoor’spermission,whichIdulysought.

Inresponse,IreceivedthefollowinginstructionfromHuzoor:

“Duringthisperiod,cometoIslamabadonedayaweek,therestofthe

weekstayathome.IfIneedyouforanyparticularwork,Iwillcallyouto

Islamabadwhennecessary.”

AsIreadthis,Ifeltamixtureofemotions.Ifeltsadandsorrowfulthatmy

dailyopportunitytomeetwithHuzoorweretobeadjournedindefinitely.

Ontheotherhand,Ifeltreliefthat,attheveryleast,Iwasstillpermittedto

seehimonaweeklybasis.

8

Achangeofpace

Thenextfewdayswereacompleteandsuddenchangeoflifestyleforme.

For13years,myeverydayrevolvedaroundMulaqat.Itwasthefocusofmy

life.BothmyofficeandfamilyliferevolvedaroundMulaqattimings.

Now,allofasudden,Iwasworkingfromhome,therewasnodailytravelto

Islamabad,therewasnopreparingdailynotesforMulaqat.

Instead,incommonwithmillionsofothers,Iwasnowsuddenlythrustinto

theentirelyunfamiliarworldofhome-schooling.

Duringthatweekandthosethatfollowed,Googleprovedtobeafaithfulally,

asithelpedmenavigatemywaythroughthechallengesofteachingmyelder

son.

Truthbetold,Iquiteenjoyedthefirsttwoorthreedaysoflockdown.

TheweatherwasextremelypleasantandsoItooktheopportunitytowalk

in our communal gardens every afternoon as the sun shined from the

cloudlessskiesabove.

Furthermore,thoughImissedseeingHuzoordesperately,Ididnotmissthe

heavytrafficIoftenencounteredwhilsttravellingtoandfromIslamabad.

SoonthoughIwasimpatientlyyearningtoreporttoIslamabadonceagain.

9

Adifferentatmosphere

Mostgraciously,HuzoorhadleftittometochoosewhichdayIwouldcome

toIslamabadeachweekandsoIdecideduponFriday.

HavinglastmetHuzooronMonday,IwasexcitedandjoyouswhenonFriday,

27March I travelled to Islamabad. ThoughmyMulaqatwasnotuntil the

evening,outofsheeranticipationandexcitement, IdrovetoIslamabadin

themorning.

DespitemyhappinessattheprospectofseeingHuzoor,Ifeltsadthathewas

notabletodeliverhisFridaySermonduetothelockdownrestrictionsand

insteadhedeliveredalivemessagefromhisoffice.

More generally, I was shocked to see how noticeably the atmosphere in

Islamabadhadchangedinjustthreeorfourdayssincemylastvisit.Though

precautionary measures, such as temperature checking, had been taking

placeforsomeweeks,nowIhadmytemperaturecheckedonthreeseparate

occasionsbeforeIwaspermittedentryintothemaincompound.

Islamabadseemedeerilyquiet.Ididnotseeanyoneonsitewhodidnotlive

in Islamabad, except for a few members of the MTA team. Most of the

residentsofIslamabadstayedwithinthefourwallsoftheirhomeatalltimes.

EverypersonIencountered,includingHuzoor’sofficestaff,werewearinga

face mask. I did not have a mask myself and so felt exposed and

uncomfortableandsothefirstthingIdidwastofindone.

10

Tomysurprise,IwastoldthatKhuddamulAhmadiyyahadprivatelysourced

somecoronavirustestsandthatseveralofficestaffhadtakenthetestinthe

pastcoupleofdays.IaskedifIcouldalsobetestedandwasrelievedwhen

thetestresultcamebackasnegative.

Ataround6.30pm,Alhamdulillah,IwasonceagainabletomeetHuzoor,to

presentmyreportandtospendtimeinhisblessedcompany.

IwaspleasedwhenHuzoorsaid:

“EventhoughIhadsaidyoucouldcomeonanyday,Ithoughtthebest

dayforyoutocomewouldbeonFridays.”

In linewiththegovernmentguidelines, thechairsoppositeHuzoor’sdesk

werenowplacedfurtherawaytomaintainasafedistance.IwasalsogladI

hadprocuredafacemaskbecauseIsoonrealisedthat itwasonHuzoor’s

instructionthatpeopleinIslamabadwerenowallcoveringtheirfaces.

During the Mulaqat, my mask slipped below my nose on a couple of

occasionsandeachtime,HuzooralertedmeandsaidIshouldpullitup.He

alsoshowedmehowtoensureitfittedaroundmyfacesecurelytoensure

betterprotection.

FollowingtheMulaqat,IleftIslamabadwithasenseofsadness,evengrief,

thatIwouldnotseeHuzoorforaweek.Itriedremindingmyselfthatthere

were so many Ahmadis who were unable to ever meet Huzoor and so I

shouldcontinuetothankAllahandtobegrateful forHisblessings,rather

thantounnecessarilywallowinmyownchangeofcircumstances.

11

FridaySermoninanEmptyMosque

On3rdApril2020, I travelled to Islamabadandreported forMulaqat.The

week before, Huzoor had been unable to deliver his Khutba due to the

COVID-19 lockdown. However, after consultation with some Ahmadi

lawyers,HuzoortookthedecisiontoresumehisweeklyFridaySermon.

ItwascertainlyarelieftomembersoftheJamaattoseeandhearHuzoor’s

sermonthroughMTAonceagain.

Duetothegovernmentstipulations,thesermonhadtobedeliveredinan

emptyMosqueinwhichtheonlypeoplepresent,apartfromHuzoor,were

theMuezzinandanMTAcameraman.

AsIwatchedthesermonfrommyhome,Ithoughtofhowstrangeitmust

havebeenforHuzoortospeaktoanemptyMosque.

So,uponenteringhisoffice,IaskedHuzoorifhehadfounditupsettingor

difficulttodeliverhissermoninthisdifferentway.

Smiling,Huzoorsaid:

“Itwasnotdifficultatall!IjustlookedinthedirectionoftheMuezzinor

thecameramanandtreateditlikeanyothersermon!”

Imentioned that someAhmadi lawyerswere of the opinion thatHuzoor

couldhavedeliveredhissermontheweekbeforeon27March2020,rather

thandeliveringamessagefromhisoffice.

12

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Yesoneortwolawyersgavetheiropiniontomethattherewasnothing

tostopmedeliveringmysermonon27March,aslongasonlyoneortwo

people were present in the Mosque. However, I decided it was not

appropriatetodeliverasermonlastweekduetothesensitivitiesatthat

time.”

Ialsotooktheopportunitytomentionthatsomeonehadaskedmehowthe

challenges and consequencesof the coronavirus pandemicwereaffecting

Huzoor’spersonalspirits.

Appearingsurprisedthatthisquestionhadevenbeenasked,Huzoorsaid:

“DoIlookdownordepressed?Ofcoursethereissadnessatthelossoflife

andthetrialsfacedbypeoplebutwehavetrustinAllahandsothereis

nosenseoffrustrationordepression.”

AsI leftHuzoor’soffice, Ipresentedhimwiththethirdandfinalpartofa

personaldiary IhadwrittenaboutHuzoor’s tour toEurope inSeptember

andOctober2019.Huzoorgraciouslysaidhewouldreviewitwhenhehad

sometime.

Anunexpectedcall

Thefollowingevening,4April2020,ataround7.30pm,asIwassittinginour

loungewithmychildren,IreceivedaphonecallfromthePrivateSecretary’s

13

office.Tomycompletesurprise,aMissionaryservinginthePSOffice,Ghalib

Javaid,informedmethatHuzoorwishedtospeaktome.

I had no idea for what reason Huzoor was calling and those five to ten

secondsfromwhenGhalibinformedmetowhenthephonewasconnected

werespentinastateofpanicandconfusion.

I jumpedupfromthesofa, franticallygesturedtomywifeandchildrento

remainquietandrantomybedroomtryingdesperatelytocomposemyself.

After a moment’s pause, I heard Huzoor’s voice on the other end of the

phone.

Huzoorsaid:

“AssalamoAlaikum,kyahaalhai?”

That:

“AssalamoAlaikum,howareyou?”

Myvoicequivered.IhadspokentoHuzooronthephoneahandfuloftimes

andeachtimehadfoundtheexperienceextremelynervewracking.

When I have the opportunity to meet Huzoor in person, I have time to

prepareandtocomposeandreadymyself.Yet,wheneverIhavespokento

Huzooronthephone,ithasbeensuddenandunexpected.

14

Immediately,Huzoormentionedthathehadalreadycheckedthediaryand

thatthereweresomecorrectionsneeded.IwastakenabackthatHuzoorhad

completedthediarysosoon,asitwaswellover100pageslong.

HuzoorsaidhehadmarkedthecorrectionsinpencilandthatGhalibwould

scan and emailme the notes. However, in case I did not understand the

writtennotes,hehadcalledtoexplainthemoverthephone.

HuzoorsaidtogetapenorpencilandsoIlookedintheroomfrenetically

notwishingtowasteamomentofHuzoor’stime.

Knowingmypersonality,Huzoorsaid:

“Takeyourtime,thereisnoneedtorush!”

Iwenttotheloungeandfoundapenandanoldenvelope,whichIbrought

backtomyroomandinformedHuzoorthatIwasready.

Overthenexttenminutes,HuzooridentifiedseveralerrorsinthetextIhad

submitted.

Forexample,HuzoorreferredtoasectionIhadwrittenaboutHazratMusleh

Maud’s(ra)commandandunderstandingoftheEnglishlanguage.

HuzoorinformedmeIhadwrittenuptheincidentinaccuratelyandhethen

verypatientlyexplainedthewholestoryagain.

15

IwasextremelygratefulandrelievedthatHuzoorhadcorrectedmebecause

when I re-read what I had originally written, I realised it was not only

misleadingbutalsohadthepotentialtobetakenoutofcontextandtoreflect

wronglyonthepurecharacterofHazratMuslehMaud(ra).

Aftercorrectingandclarifyingafewfurtherpoints,Huzoorreferredtothe

factIhadmentionedthatsomeAhmadisfromBremenJamaatinGermany

had gathered on a bridge to wave at Huzoor from above, as the Qafila

proceededonthemotorway.

Huzoorsaid:

“Youhavewrittenthatyouarenotaware if I sawtheAhmadisonthe

bridge,infactIdidnoticethemandsoyoushouldmentionthatasitwill

makethemhappy.”

Uponthis,Isaid:

“Huzoor,inthediaryIhavewrittenthatIthoughtitwasunnecessarily

dangerousforthemtostandonthebridge,astheycouldbeapotential

distraction.ShouldIremovethiscomment?”

Huzoorsaid:

“Nokeepyourpersonalopinion.WheretheywillbehappytoknowthatI

sawthem,theywillalsoconsiderthesafetyaspect.”

16

Beforethecallconcluded,Huzoorsaid:

“ThesedaysareyouhelpingMalawiththecookingandcleaning?”

IsaidIwashelpingwiththecleaningbutnotsomuchwiththecooking,forI

didnotwish toputmy family through theordealofeating the food Ihad

prepared!

ItookHuzoor’squestionasanindicationthatIshouldassistmywifeMala

asmuchaspossible,givenwehadanew-bornandtwoyoungboysinthe

house.

Thus, over the next couple ofweeks I did cook occasionally.My children

lovedmycookingbutbothMalaandIfounditsomewhatlesspalatable!

AfterHuzoor said“Allahhafiz”, Iput thephonedownand felt incredibly

grateful and emotional to have had the chance to speak to Huzoor so

unexpectedly.

Amiddlename

A couple of days later, I received a call fromMunir Javed sahib andwas

informedthatHuzoorwishedtospeakwithme.Justliketheprevioustime,I

wasnotexpectingthecallandwascompletelyunprepared.

AfteraskinghowIwas,HuzooraskedifIhadpublishedthediarywhichhe

hadapprovedtwodaysbefore.

17

I informed Ihadand took theopportunity tosharea little feedback Ihad

received.

In thediary I hadmentioned thatmywife and Ihadbeenblessedwith a

daughterinMarchand,duringthecall,IinformedHuzoorthatmanypeople

hadcongratulatedmeandsentmubarakbaadafterreadingaboutherbirth.

Uponhearingthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Youdidnotwritethenameofyourdaughter–didpeoplenotaskwhat

hernameis?”

AsIheardthis,IthoughtofhowcarefullyHuzoorchecksthediaryandhow

hisrecallwasincredible,wherebyheevennoticedandrememberedsmall

detailssuchasthis.

Inreply,Isaid:

“Huzoor, one or two people did ask but most just offered

congratulations.”

AsthetopicofconversationhadturnedtoourdaughterJaweria’sname, I

tooktheopportunitytoseekHuzoor’sguidanceonarelatedtopic.

Isaid:

“Huzoor,atthemomentwedonothaveanymiddlenamesforJaweria.

Shouldwegiveheramiddlenameandifsowhatshoulditbe?”

18

Afteramoment’ssilence,Huzoorsaid:

“YoucancallherJaweriaAbid.”

Naturally,Iwasdelightedbythis.Ihadnotimaginedthatmydaughtercould

sharemy name.When I toldmywife shewas also extremely happy that

HuzoorhadchosennotonlyJaweria’sfirstnamebutalsohermiddleone.

I continued tosharesomediary feedbackwithHuzoorandatonepoint, I

misreadthecommentofoneperson.

Insteadofsaying:

“ShehaswrittenthatHuzoor’sspeechhadagreatandpositiveimpact

uponher…”

Isaidinerror:

“ShehaswrittenthatMYSPEECHhashadagreatandpositiveimpact

uponher…”

ThoughIquicklycorrectedmyself,itwasnotbeforeHuzoorhadheardwhat

Isaid.

Jokingly,Huzoorsaid:

“IthinkwhilstathomeyoumustbedeliveringlotsofspeechestoMala

thesedays,whichiswhyyouassumedshewastalkingaboutyou!”

19

IlaughedatHuzoor’sjokebutalsothoughtofhowtherewasanunderlying

truthtoHuzoor’sjoke.BeingathomeprobablymeantthatIwascommenting

ondomesticmattersmuchmorethannormal!

Adevotedservant

Afteraroundtwentyminutes,Isensedthecallwasabouttoendbutbefore

itdid,ItooktheopportunitytoconveymycondolencestoHuzooroverthe

passingofrespectedNasirSaeedsahib,astalwartanddevotedmemberof

theAmla-Hifazat.

Afterbeingadmittedtohospitalafewdaysearlierfollowingasevereheart

attack,Nasirsahibhadsuccumbedtohis illnessandpassedaway theday

before.Innalillaheywainnaillaheyrajeoon.

Learningofhissaddemisehadbeenextremelyupsetting,althoughIhada

sense of foreboding that hemay not recover due to a commentmade by

HuzooronmylastvisittoIslamabad.

OnthepreviousFriday,therehadbeenfalserumoursthatNasirsahibhad

passedawayalready.WhenIinformedHuzoorabouttherumours,Huzoor

wasnotpleasedatallbut,atthesametime,Huzoor’sresponseindicatedthat

Nasirsahibdidnothavelonglefttolive.

Atthattime,Huzoorsaid:

“Whyarepeopleannouncinghisdeathwhilstheisstillalive?Itshould

be made clear that these rumours are false and disrespectful in the

20

extreme. Itmay be that he does not survive, as his state is extremely

critical,butitisutterlywrongandirresponsibletoannouncesomeone’s

deathbeforetheirtime.Thiscanonlycauseunnecessarygrief.”

Onthephone,afterIhadexpressedmycondolence,Huzoorsaid:

“Yes, it is particularly upsetting and difficult given the current

circumstances (related to the COVID-19 lockdown). It is extremely

painfulthathisfamilycouldnotseehiminhospitalbeforehediedand

now people cannot go and offer condolence in person. Only the

immediatelyfamilywillbeabletobepresentattheJanazaprayerandit

willbedoneattheplaceofburial.Insha’Allah,whenthecircumstances

permitIwillleadhisJanazaprayerinabsentia.”

Beforethecallended,Huzoorsaid:

“Eachdaybeready,asIwillcallyouifIhavetime.Bepreparedlikeyou

wouldnormallybeforMulaqat.”

AsHuzoorsaidthesewords,IrealisedandunderstoodwhatHuzoormeant

whenhehadsaidtome,justpriortothelockdown,that:

“Baqiphoneparrabta.”

That:

“Apartfromthat,wecancommunicateonthephone.”

21

Iwasverymuchoverwhelmedand,tobehonest,stunnedthatHuzoorwould

considerspeakingtomeregularlyonthephone.

Thoughnothing couldbebetter thanmeetingHuzoor inperson, over the

next days and weeks, my sadness at not being able to report daily for

Mulaqatwas significantlymitigatedby thegreatblessingofbeingable to

speakregularlytoHuzooronthephone.Alhamdulillah.

AphoneMulaqat

On7April2020, intheearlyevening,Iwasagainblessedtoreceiveacall

fromHuzoor.Thistime,Iwaspreparedandhadnotesreadyandpresented

amediabriefing,asIwouldundernormalcircumstancesinHuzoor’soffice.

TheopportunitytospeaktoHuzooronthephonewasagreatblessingand,

insomerespects,speakingonthephonewasmoreintimateandpersonal

thanevenspeakingtoHuzoorinperson.

However,notbeingabletophysicallyseeHuzoorsometimesledtodifficulty

orconfusion.

Forexample,whenmeetingHuzoorinhisoffice,oftentherearemomentsof

silence, sometimes long periods, in which Huzoor continues to read and

reviewhisfiles.

On thephone, thatdayandon those that followed, therewereoccasional

momentsofsilencewhereIcouldnottellifHuzoorwasworkingorifhewas

waitingformetosaysomething.

22

Anyway,atthestartofthecall,ImentionedthatthedeathtollintheUKfrom

COVID-19wasrisingquicklyandthatinthepast24hoursover800people

haddied.

Huzoorexpressedhisdeepsadnessthatsomanyliveswerebeinglostand

offeredprayersforthosewhoweresuffering.

Duringthecall,ImentionedhowSisterReemShraiky,aSyrianAhmadi,had

contactedmeoverwhelmedwithjoybecauseHuzoorhadcalledherandher

husbandIbrahimIkhlafsahibtoenquireaftertheirhealthearlierthatday.

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“ItoldReemthatIconsidereditnecessarytocallherafterreadingthe

articleshehadwrittenforthePressdepartmentaboutIbrahim’sillness.”

HuzoorwasreferringtoanarticlethePress&MediaOfficehadpublishedin

whichSisterReemhadveryemotivelyandvividlydescribedthetrialsand

tribulationsthatsheandherfamilyhadfacedwhenIbrahimsahibbecame

criticallyunwellwithCOVID-19.

Huzoor once againmentioned (late)Nasir Saeed sahib and reiterated his

regret that itwasnotcurrentlypossible forpeople tovisit the familyand

offersupportinpersonortoattendtheburial.

I took the opportunity tomention how countless tributes toNasir Saeed

sahibwerebeingpostedonsocialmedia.

23

Isaid:

“Huzoor,IamquitesurethatNasirSaeedsahibwillneverhavebeenon

socialmediaandprobablywillnothaveevenknownwhatitwas,yetin

thepastcoupleofdays Ihaveseendozensanddozensofmessageson

socialmedia in his remembrance from Ahmadis across theworld. He

trulytouchedtheheartsofpeopleinsomanycountries.”

Thereafter,Huzoorkindly askedhowmychildrenwere. Imentioned that

they were well but that due to COVID-19 restrictions, our new-born

daughter was not being seen by any health visitors or nurses, as would

normallybethecase.Asaresult,weweredeprivedofthereassurancethat

medicalexpertscouldgiveregardingherhealthanddevelopment.

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Donotworry,aslongassheisfeedingwellshewillbefine.Alsomake

sureyoucheckhertemperatureregularly.MayAllahblessher.”

Truly,Huzoor’sguidanceandprayersgaveuscomfortandreassurancethat

was a million times greater than could have been given by any health

professional.

As the call drew towards a close, I mentioned that an individual had

contactedmetoexpresstheiropinionthatperhapstheonesilverliningof

thelockdownwouldbethatHuzoorwouldfinallyhavesometimetorestand

tospendwithhisfamily.

24

Hearingthis,Huzoorlaughedalittleandsaid:

“I have been in the office since the morning reviewing the mail and

correspondenceandsoIhavenotnoticedanydifferencetomyschedule!

EventheslotnormallyusedforfamilyMulaqatsisbeingutilisedforother

tasks.”

PrayersforthePrimeMinister

Around that time, thehealthof theUKPrimeMinisterBoris Johnsonhad

deterioratedsignificantlyandforafewdayshewasinintensivecare.

Though his situationwas reported to be quite critical, I felt confident he

wouldrecoverbecause,whenitwasfirstreportedthatthePrimeMinister

had contracted the coronavirus, Huzoor had written a personal letter

prayingforhisgoodhealthandfullrecovery.

Huzoor wrote also to Prince Charles who had also contracted the

coronavirusandthankfully,bothheandthePrimeMinisterrecovered.

Theneedforsensitivityandcompassion

On8April2020,IreceivedacallfrombelovedHuzoorandIinformedhim

thatwehadreceivedalotofpositivefeedbacktothearticlewrittenbySister

ReemShraiky.

25

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“DoyouknowwhichpartofthearticleIlikedandappreciatedthemost?

ItwasReem’sresponseto theAhmadi ladywhohadsaid toher,when

Ibrahimwasinacriticalstate,that‘Don’tworryifyouoryourfamilyis

illthenitmeansthatyoursinsarebeingforgiven’.Inreply,Reemsaid‘I

alsoknowverywelltheHadiththatyouspeakofbutitdoesnotrequire

foryoutoremindmeofthisatatimewhenIamatmymostvulnerable

andweakest.’”

Huzoorcontinued:

“I am very glad that Reem wrote this because there are even some

Ahmadis who are extremely insensitive and gossipy. This Hadith is a

meansofcomforttobelieversintheirtimeofailmentandsomethingfor

them to reflectupon.However, it isabsolutelynot the case thatwhen

someone is facing a trial they be reminded of their past sins! This is

somethingthattheSadrLajnashouldtakenoteofandensurethatthe

Lajna members are taught about what is appropriate and how to

comfortandconsolepeoplewhentheyaresuffering.”

Theimportanceofcleanlinessandgoodhygiene

I informedHuzoorthattheUKwasnowreachingthepeakofcoronavirus

casesandsothedeathtolloverthepast24hourswasover900people.

26

Ialsomentionedthatitwasnowcomingtotheattentionoftheauthorities

that the proportion of peoplewhowere severely affected by coronavirus

wassignificantlyhigherinethnicminorities.

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“As Muslims, we should always have the very highest standards of

cleanlinessinourpersonalhygiene,inourhomesandelsewhere.Thisis

theteachingofIslamandifpeopleupholdtheIslamicstandardthenthe

riskofinfectionwillbeless.”

Huzoorcontinued:

“Yesterday,onmy instruction, thepersonal residences and communal

areas here in Islamabad were disinfected. Furthermore, dhooni

(incense)isbeingusedintheofficesandhomeshere,asitisameansof

eliminatingbacteria.Youshouldalsodothisinyourownhome.”

Ramadanduringapandemic

OnFriday10April,IreportedforMulaqatinIslamabad.

AsIenteredHuzoor’soffice,Iwasstrugglingsomewhatwithmyfacemask.

Myglasseskeptsteamingupandthemaskkeptslipping.Huzoornoticedand

explainedhowtomakeitfitbetterbydepressingwithmyhandpartofthe

masktomakeitmoresecurearoundmynose.

27

ThemonthofRamadanwasfastapproachinganditwasclearthatMosques

wouldnotbepermittedtore-openforworshipanytimesoon.Inlightofthis,

IaskedHuzoorhowthisyear’sRamadanwouldbeaffectedbythepandemic.

Inreply,Huzoorsaid:

“Pandemic or no pandemic, the blessings of Ramadan will always

remain.Undernormalcircumstancesitisextremelyimportanttooffer

prayersincongregation,asthisisthecommandofAllahtheAlmighty.

One of the main reasons we join together in Mosques for worship is

becauseitfostersunitywithintheMuslimUmmah.”

Huzoorcontinued:

“However,whereadiseaseorvirus isspreadingthentherightsof the

Mosqueactuallydeterminethat theworshippersrefrain fromoffering

prayersintheMosque.Atsuchatime,weshouldrememberthatthere

are also great blessings associated with worship in solitude and so

AhmadisshouldutilisethisperiodtodrawclosertoAllahbyworshipping

Himintheirhomes.”

Huzoorfurthersaid:

“Whilstcongregationalworshipenablesustobecomemoreunitedasan

Ummah,itiswhenapersonworshipsinisolationthatheisabletotruly

openuphisheartbeforeAllahandtogrowclosertoHim.Atthistime,

most people are at home and free from the shackles of their normal

worldlyendeavoursandso,morethaneverbefore,theymayspendtheir

28

nights in Tahajjad and offer prayers and recite the Holy Quran

throughouttheday.”

I was struck by the beauty of Huzoor’s words which illustrated that we

shouldmakethebestofourcircumstancesatalltimes.

WhetherwecouldprayinourMosquesornot, theobjectivesofRamadan

andindeedofourlivesremainedeverthesame.

LeadingJummah

After presenting a media briefing, I mentioned to Huzoor that I had led

Jummahprayersinmyhomeforthepasttwoweeks.

Smiling,Huzoorsaid:

“Masha’Allah, as a result of the virus even you have learned how to

performJummah!”

HuzoorenquiredifIknewKhutbaSaaniabyheart.Isaidthat,havingheard

iteveryweekthroughoutmylife,IknewmostofitbyheartbutIstillneeded

toreaditfromapaper.

Hearingthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Itisgoodtokeepitwritteninfrontofyou,evenifyouknowitbyheart

incaseyourmemoryfailsandbecausewhenyoureadityourTilawatwill

generallybeofabetterstandard.”

29

Aseriouserrorofjudgment

Overtheweekendthatfollowed,Iwasblessedwiththeopportunitytospeak

againwithbelovedHuzooronthephoneandtopresentadailyreporttohim.

However, thosedayswereextremelydifficult formepersonally andones

thatIlookbackonwithmajorregretduetoamistakeImadeatthattime.

Lateeveningon12April2020,IreceivedamessagedirectlyfromHuzoor

aboutavideoMTANews,theMTAdepartmentforwhichIamresponsible,

hadbroadcastandwhichhadcometoHuzoor’sattention.

Thevideowasatributeto(late)NasirSaeedsahib.Apartfromextractsfrom

Huzoor’s sermon about Nasir Sahib’s long service to the Jamaat, it also

included an interview taken with Nasir sahib’s son, Khalid Saeed. The

interviewhadbeenrecordedjustoutsidetheMubarakMosque.

Inhismessage,Huzoor stated that itwasnot at all appropriate todo the

interview‘inperson’becauseoftheriskofspreadingCOVID-19,whichNasir

sahibhadcontractedbeforehisdemise.

Thenextday,Monday,13April2020,provedtobeextremelydifficult.The

minutesandhourspassedbypainfullyslowly.Asthedayprogressed,Iwas

left in no doubt that the risk posed by the interview had elicited the

displeasureofHuzoor.

Iwas contactedby theManagingDirector ofMTA International,whohad

received a letter from Private Secretary, Munir Javed sahib conveying

30

Huzoor’sdisapprovalandinquiryastowhyandhowthisinterviewhadtaken

place.

TheMDlaunchedaninvestigationseekinganurgentresponsefrommeand

askingwhyIhadauthorisedtheinterview.MunirJavedsahibalsocontacted

medirectlytoenquireabouttheinterview.ItwasallverystressfulandIgave

myresponseinwhichIconfirmedthatIhadauthorisedtheinterview.An

urgentcircularwasissuedtothemanagementofMTAInternationalfromthe

MDregardingthismatter.

IfeltextremelyremorsefulthatIhad,inadvertently,placedthecameraman

atriskandthereafteranyonewhohemayhavehadcontactwith.Thankfully,

the cameraman did keep a distance of two metres at all times and any

equipmentusedwaswipeddownanddisinfected.Nonetheless,theriskhad

beenneedlesslyelevated.

Farbeyondanythingelse,IfeltdevastatedthatIhadcausedupsettoHuzoor

andfallenwayshortofhisexpectations.

Allday,partofmeyearnedtohearHuzoor’sblessedvoice,asIknewonly

speakingtohimwouldgrantmesomerespiteandrelief.

Yet, on theotherhand, I fearedmore thananythinghearingany senseof

disappointmentorangerinHuzoor’svoice.

WiththeGraceofAllah,lateintheafternoon,IwasabletospeaktoHuzoor

foraroundthirtyfiveminutesonthephone.

31

Whenthecallstarted,IfullyexpectedthatHuzoorwouldmentiontheMTA

Newsincident.

However,tothecontrary,heaskedmehowIwasandhowmyfamilywere.

Iwasoverwhelmedbyhisgraceandcompassion.

Nevertheless, for my own peace of mind, I had to apologise and seek

Huzoor’sforgiveness.

Thus,aminuteortwointothecall,Isaid:

“Huzoor,IamextremelysorryforthemistakeImaderegardingtheMTA

Newsinterview.”

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Didyounotthinkitwaswrongorirresponsibletotakethisinterview?”

Inresponse,Isaid:

“Atthetime,Iadvisedthatonlythecameramanshouldbepresentand

heshouldmaintainadistanceofatleasttwometresfromKhalidsahib.I

also said thatanyequipment should be cleaned thoroughly. I thought

thatthiswassufficient.ItwasonlywhenHuzoorsenthismessagethatI

realisedthattherewasaheightenedriskbecauseNasirSaeedsahibhad

contractedcoronavirus.”

32

Huzoorsaid:

“Yesitwaswrong.IfyouwatchBBCNewsortheotherchannelstheyare

conductingtheirinterviewsremotelyviaSkypeorsuchlikeandsofrom

nowon,untilfurthernotice,allofyourinterviewsshouldbeconducted

remotely.”

Itisattimeslikethisthatapersonwitnessesthetruemajestyandgraceof

Khalifa-Waqt.Despitehisdispleasure,despitehisdisappointment,Huzoor

didnothumiliateme.Hedidnotraisehistone.Hedidnotendthecallatthat

momentwhereheknewIwasfeelingextremelydowncast.

Inspiteofhisdispleasure,Huzooractuallyappreciatedthecontentsofthe

videoitselfandaskedifpeoplehadlikedit.

AsHuzoorsaidthesewords,itfeltasthoughaweighthadbeenliftedfrom

myheart.

IinformedHuzoortheviewingfiguresforthefirst24hourswerefarbeyond

anyofourpreviouscomparablevideos.

Imentionedwehadmadesimilar‘tribute’videosforverysenioreldersand

office bearers of the Jamaat from Pakistan such as Sahibzada Mirza

Khursheed Ahmad sahib and Sahibzada Mirza Ghulam Ahmad sahib,

howevertheresponseweweregettingtothevideoaboutNasirSaeedsahib

wasfrommuchfurtherafield.

Huzoorwasnotatallsurprisedbythis.

33

Huzoorsaid:

“ThiswastobeexpectedbecauseMianKhursheedandMianAhmadwere

knownverywell inPakistananda fewothercountries,whereasNasir

SaeedtravelledaroundtheworldwithKhalifa-WaqtandsoAhmadisin

countries such as Indonesia, Singapore, New Zealand, Japan all knew

him.

When the call ended, I felt a great degree of relief inmy heart at having

spokentoHuzoorandtohaveexperiencedhisloveandmercy,inspiteofmy

shortcomings.Yet,mydisappointmentinmyselfandmysadnessathaving

causeddistresstoHuzoorlingeredandcontinuedoverthenext24hours.As

aresult,Icontinuedtofeelanxiousandrestlessthatnightandthefollowing

day.

Thenextday,14April2020,ataround6.15pm,IreceivedacallfromthePS

OfficethatHuzoorwishedtospeaktome.

Normally,thePrivateSecretarywouldconnectthecalltoHuzoorwithina

fewmoments,howeveronthatdayIwasplacedonholdforsometime.

Witheachminuteandsecondthatpassed,Ibecameincreasinglynervous.

Though,IwasstartingtogetusedtospeakingtoHuzooronthephone,the

nerves and butterflies experienced certainlywere not diminishing in any

way.

34

Afteraroundtenminutes,PrivateSecretary,MunirJavedsahibtookthecall

offholdandsaid:

“Abid,meinHuzoorkesaathcallmil-wa-naylagahoon.”

That:

“Abid,IamnowputtingyouthroughtoHuzoor.”

EachtimeMunirJavedsahibsaysthisthereisapauseofafewsecondsand

IcannotdescribeinwordshownervousIfeelduringthosemomentsuntilI

hearHuzoor’svoiceontheotherend.Thesamewastruethatday.

As thecall connected,Huzoorsaid“AssalamoAlaikum” andaskedhowI

was.

Inresponse,IsaidthatIhadcontinuedtofeelstressedandanxiousoverthe

pastdayduetotheMTANewsissue.

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“If you make a blunder it is inevitable the day will pass in stress!

However,sometimesitisbeneficialinthelongtermtomakeamistake

becauseitmakesthepersonmorehumbleandtheyturntoAllahintheir

desperationandthisenablesthemtoreformandimprove.”

35

Flawedfigures

Thereafter, I presented some news reports to Huzoor and started by

informinghimofhowmanyCOVID-19relateddeathstherehadbeeninthe

UKoverthepast24hours.

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“ThefigurestheUKGovernmentisgivingisnottherealfigurebecause

theyareonlyrelatedtohospitaldeathsanddonottakeintoaccountthe

numberofpeoplewhoaredyingincarehomesorprivateresidences.”

ThiswassomethingthattheUKGovernmentlateradmittedandafterafew

weeksitstartedtoincludedeathsincarehomesorprivateresidencesinits

figures.

I informed Huzoor that there had been media reports speculating when

‘massgatherings’wouldbepermittedagainintheUK.Onereportsuggested

August or September, another said perhaps October or November. Upon

presenting this report, I wondered if Huzoormight give some indication

about the possibility of holding the UK or Germany Jalsas but Huzoor

remainedquiet.

Patience,empathyandcompassionrequired

I also informed Huzoor of a front page story published by Forbes which

featuredthepoliticalleadersofGermany,Taiwan,NewZealandandcertain

Scandinaviancountries.

36

Thearticlesuggested that thosecountrieshaddealtwith thecoronavirus

crisisbetterthanothernationsandhighlightedthefactthatcommontoeach

ofthesenationswasthattheirpoliticalleaderwasawoman.

Hearingthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Womenhaveexperienceofthehomeandbecauseofthistheynaturally

have good managing skills and understand how to allocate limited

resources. Furthermore, by looking after their homes, women have

developedhigher levels of patience, empathy and compassion. During

thistypeofcrisis,inwhichpeoplearedyingofillnessorbecomeill,the

women leadersknowbetterhowtomanagethe limited resourcesand

arenaturallymorecalmandcompassionatethanmenandsoareableto

relatetothesufferingsoftheirpublicbetter.”

Anunnecessarysuggestion

I also mentioned that an Ahmadi had written to me that Ahmadis were

feelinganxiousandpanickedduetotheeffectsofthecoronavirusandsohe

suggestedthatHuzoormightleadan‘Aalmidua’–aninternationalcollective

prayerthroughMTA.

Inresponsetothissuggestion,Huzoorsaid:

“WhatistheneedforsuchaduawhenIamleadingJummaeachweek

anditisbeingbroadcastonMTAasnormal?Somepeoplehavedeveloped

the ‘Pir’ mentality whereby they think that until a person raises his

handsitisnotaproperprayer.However,ineverysermon,Iampraying

37

foranendtothispandemicandofferingprayersforthemembersofthe

Jamaat–ifpeoplewhoarewatchingsay‘Ameen’thenitwillbeanAalmi

duainitself.”

AyearinIslamabad

On15April2020,IhadtheopportunitytospeaktoHuzooronthephoneand

atthestartofthecall Imentionedthat ithadbeenexactlyoneyearsince

HuzoormovedtoIslamabadfromtheFazlMosque.

Whilst most people have an emotional connection to certain dates or

anniversaries thatmark significantmoments in their lives, I have always

seenthatHuzoordoesnotwastetimeorenergyoverlyconcerninghimself

withsuchmatters.

Itwas the same on this occasion because after I informedHuzoor of the

anniversaryhe simply said “Masha’Allah”, followed immediatelyby “Aur

kya?”,meaningIshouldmoveonandpresentthenextpartofmyreport.

Anawfulhaircut!

Laterinthecall,ImentionedIhadattemptedtocutmyson’shairbutithad

notatallbeensuccessful!

Thoughthefrontlookedok,ifsomeonesawhishairfromabovetheywould

soon see that it was cut to various levels and there was a large, rather

randomsquarewherehishairwasatleastaninchshorterthantherestof

hishead.

38

Hearingthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Ifyoudonothaveproperclippersthentrytogetoneofthosecombsthat

hasabladeattached.ItcutsasitcombsandthisishowIusedtocutmy

hairinGhanausingthecomb’sbladeandamirror.”

MulaqatinIslamabad

OnFriday17April2020,IreportedforMulaqatinIslamabad.

During the Mulaqat, Huzoor asked me if I had enough facemasks. Upon

hearingthatIhadonlyafew,Huzoorstoodandtookthreemasksfromabox

inhisofficeandgavethemtome.

TheyweredifferenttotheonesIhadandHuzoorsaidtowearoneofthe

maskshehadgiveninmynextMulaqat.

Tomycompletesurprise,Huzoortookamaskforhimselfandplacediton

hisface.ItseemedHuzoorwastryingonamaskforthefirsttimeoratleast

itwasthefirsttimehekeptitonforsometime.

Verycarefully,Huzoorfittedthemaskonhisfaceandsqueezeditaroundhis

nosetoensureitfittedwelland,havingdoneso,heturnedhisattentionback

tothefileonhisdeskandstartedgoingthroughhismail.

Afterafewminutes,Huzoorlookedupatmeandsmiled.Huzoorsaid:

“Itisnoteasytowearthesemasksforalongperiod!”

39

Inresponse,Isaid:

“Yesitisdifficult,myfacebecomeshotandmyglassessteamup.”

Ithensaid:

“Huzoor,IhonestlyneverexpectedtoseethatdaywhereIwouldseeyou

inamaskandalsothatIwouldbewearingamaskinyourpresence!”

Huzoorsmiledandsimplysaid:

“Haan”meaning“Yes”.

Aperiodofanxiety&theloveofafather

Iwassomewhatanxiousandworriedthenextday,18April2020,because

ourtwoelderchildren,MahidandMoshahid,hadbothdevelopedsymptoms

associatedwiththecoronavirus.Onehadapersistentcough,whilsttheother

had a fever. Givenwe had a new-born in the home,wewere evenmore

worried.

IwasinitiallyintwomindsastowhetherIshouldinformHuzoor.Partofme

thought it might just be a normal ‘run of the mill’ cold or cough, which

childrenoftengetandrecoverfromquickly.Yet,atthebackofmymind,was

ofcoursethepossibilitythatitcouldbeCOVID-19.

We called theNHS 111 service and though theywere helpful, theywere

unabletoprovideanyclarityaboutthechildren’ssymptoms.Theysimply

40

advisedthatitcouldbecoronavirusorequallyitcouldbeanormalcoughor

cold.

Toputmymindatease,IthensentamessagetoHuzoorinforminghimand

seekinghisprayers.EventhoughIhavehadmanyexperiencesofHuzoor’s

love and grace, I was completely blown away by his love and concern

throughoutthatdayandinthecomingdays.

ItendnottomentionmywifeMalainmydiariesasmuchasIusedto.One

reason is that a couple of people expressed their view that it was

inappropriate forme torefer tomywifeand tomentionhername inmy

diaries.Inmyview,theirswasquiteanextremepositiontotakeandnotone

Ishared.Nonetheless,theiropinionhadasubliminaleffectthatmeantIwas

morereluctanttomentionherinmyrecentdiaries.

Still,Ibelieveitisnecessarytomentionheratthispointbecausewhenthe

childrenbecameunwellshewasfarmoreanxiousandworriedthanme.

ShebelievedtherewasastrongchancethattheyhadcontractedCOVID-19

andgivenhowthenewswaspunctuatedwithoccasionalhorrorstoriesof

healthy children becoming suddenly critically unwell, her fears escalated

andveryquicklyshebecamepanickedanddesperate.

ShewasworriedthatsheorIwouldcontractthecoronavirusandwouldnot

beabletotakecareofourchildrenand,aboveall,shewasterrifiedthatthe

childrencouldbehospitalisedandwewouldnotbeabletobewiththem.

41

Shekeptreferringtothedevastatingstoryofa13yearoldboywhohaddied

from the coronaviruswithout any of his family being present during his

hospitalstayorevenathisfuneral.

Giventhatourchildren’ssymptomsweremild,Ikepttryingtoreassurethat

sheshouldnotworryandeverythingwouldbefinebut,asamother,shewas

panickedandIcouldnotofferhertherespiteorcomfortsherequired.

Where Icouldnotrelieveherconcerns, thesheermercy,compassionand

loveofKhilafatmeantthatallherfearsweresoonsweptawayandbythe

endofthedayherpanicandanxietywascompletelyrelieved.

Shortly,afterIinformedHuzoor,hesentanextremelylovingmessagefilled

withprayers.

Heinstructedthatwestartgivingthechildrenthehomeopathyremedyfor

coronavirusandalsosaidIshouldconsultwithDrHafeezBhattisahib(in-

chargecentralHomeopathyDepartment)andthenreportbacktoHuzoor.

I immediately called Dr Hafeez Bhatti sahib who explained how the

homeopathyshouldbegiventothechildren.

I thanked Dr Hafeez sahib and said that I was praying for him not only

because he was treating our children but treating Ahmadis around the

world.

42

Uponthis,DrHafeezBhattisahibbecameemotionalandsaid:

“Idonotwarrantanythanks,ratherallgratitudeshouldbedirectedto

Khalifa-Waqtand it ishisgracethathe ispermittingmetoserveand

pleaseprayIcanserveuntilmylastday.”

Withthat,IreceivedafurthermessagefromHuzoorstating:

“Atthistime(whencoronaviruswasstillnearthepeakstage)itisbetter

toavoidgoingtothehospitalifpossible.Inadditiontothehomeopathy,

give your children honey. You should all sip cinnamon (daar-cheeni)

infusedwaterregularly.Givethechildwhohasfeverparacetamolevery

fourorfivehoursandgivethechildwiththecoughparacetamoltwicea

day.YoushouldalsoplacesomeVicksinapanofboilingwatertwicea

dayandletthesteamnaturallycirculateinthehomeforhalfanhour.

MayAllahtheAlmightyhealthemandgrantfullrecovery.”

Alittlelater,Huzoorsentafurtherinstruction:

“Regarding the steam, it should not be inhaled or brought near any

person,ratherleavethepanonthestoveandtheVicks-infusedsteamwill

naturallyspreadwithinyourhome.”

Thereafter, at regular intervalsduring thenext fewdaysandevenatFajr

time the next morning, I received messages from Huzoor with further

instructions and asking how the children were. He also most graciously

phonedmeandbeforehearingthedailynewsreport,Huzoorenquiredabout

thehealthofthechildren.

43

Furthermore, Huzoor instructed that I should remain home on Friday,

insteadofcomingtoIslamabadandthathewouldcallmeonthatevening.

Huzoor’sloveandconcernwassomuchthatitwasactuallyaburdenupon

myheartthatweweretakingupsomuchofHuzoor’sprecioustime.

IsweartoAllahtheAlmightythatnofatherormothercouldlovetheirchild

morethanHuzoorlovesthemembersoftheJamaat.

UponreceivingHuzoor’sconstantguidanceandprayers,Mala’spanicand

worrieswerealleviated.Wewerebothsure thatwhatever symptoms the

childrenhadtheywouldfullyrecoverandwiththeGraceofAllahtheyboth

soondid.

Needforcaution

Thenextday,earlyevening, I receivedacall frombelovedHuzoorduring

which Imentioned that therewere indications that some countrieswere

nowstartingtomakeplansofslowlyexitingtheirrespectivelockdowns.

IaskedHuzoorifhethoughtitwastherighttimetostarteasingrestrictions.

Inresponse,Huzoorsaid:

“In the West, the country that has dealt with the coronavirus most

successfullyhasbeenGermanybecauseitbroughtinrestrictionsatan

early stage andbecause itwas also far ahead in testing. If theUK or

Francehad followedGermany’ssteps thentherewouldhavebeen less

44

deaths in their countries. Now is not the time for the UK to reduce

restrictionsbut inGermany itmaybepossible thoughtheytooshould

continue to tread very carefully. For example, if they plan to re-open

schoolstheyshouldtrytolimittheclassnumberstoaround10children

at any one time so that distances between the children can be

maintained.”

IalsomentionedanarticleprintedbytheGermannewspaperBildinwhich

theyhadblamedChina for thecoronavirusandhadpublishedasymbolic

invoiceof149billioneurosforChinatopaytoGermanytocoveritsfinancial

losses.

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Suchthingsaresenseless.Willeverynationnowsendabillforitslosses

toChina?Insteadoffosteringunity,thiswillcreateneedlesstensionand

frictionbetweenthenationswithoutanybenefit.HaveWesterncountries

everpaidbackthedamagetheyhavecausedinotherpartsoftheworld

throughtheirunjustpolicies?”

Awronginnovation

IalsomentionedhowthedaybeforealotofAhmadiswerepostingtributes

toHazratKhalifatulMasihIV(rh)andsharingtheirmemoriesofhiminlight

ofthefactthatithadbeen19April,thedayonwhichhehadpassedawayin

2003. Ihadseensimilarposts inpreviousyearsbut it seemedtome that

morepeoplehadpostedmessagesandtributesthistime.

45

Hearingthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Tomarkthedaysomeonehasdiedisnotjustunnecessarybutiswrong.

There isnosuchthingasmarkinga ‘deathanniversary’ in Islam.The

reasonmorepeoplewillhavepostedmessagesthisyearisthattheyare

athomeandsoarespendingmoretimeonsocialmedia.Theywillhave

seensomemessagesand thought that theytoowould join inandpost

theirownmemoriesorphotos. IfAhmadiswishtohonourandrespect

Hazrat Khalifatul Masih IV (rh) they should seek to follow the

instructionsofthePromisedMessiah(as)andtheKhulafa,ratherthan

sendingamessageonceayear.”

Anidealretirementhome

During another ‘phone Mulaqat’ that week, I mentioned that President

Trump had placed a restriction on immigration and the issuing of green

cards.

Hesaiditwasanemergencymeasureduetothecoronaviruspandemicbut

some people were speculating the US Government was using the

coronavirusasanexcusetoreduceimmigration.

Hearing this, Huzoor mentioned a member of my family who might be

affected.IsaidIknewofanotherpersonwhowasconsideringmovingfrom

theUSAbacktoPakistan,astheyfeltitwasabetterplacetoretireto.

46

Concurringwiththeirsentiments,Huzoorsaid:

“If yougrowup inPakistan, even if youmigrate in later life,Pakistan

alwaysremainsinyourbloodandmostPakistaniswouldfindretirement

muchmorecomfortableinPakistan,ascomparedtoothercountries.In

Western countries, the elders have to continue to do most jobs

themselves,evenwhentheyreachanagewhereitisextremelydifficult

forthemtoexertthemselves.Ontheotherhand,lifeinRabwahismuch

morecomfortable forelderlyPakistanis.Greater care isavailableand

thecostoflivingisless.”

IaskedHuzoorifhemeantthattherewasgreatersakoon(peaceofmind)in

Rabwah.

Inreply,Huzoorsaid:

“IcannotsaythateveryoneinRabwahhassakoonbecausetheycontinue

toliveintheshadowofdailypersecution.However,intermsoflifestyle

theyhavegreatercomfortandease.”

Huzoorcontinued:

“Ontheotherhand,forpeoplebroughtupintheWest, itmightnotbe

easyforthemtoretireinPakistan.Italldependsonyourupbringingand

whatisinyourblood.”

47

Forsomereason,IcouldnothearwhatHuzoorsaidnextbutIwassurehe

hadmentioned Rabwah and Qadian and it appeared to me that perhaps

HuzoorwasaskingwhetherheshouldpostmetoRabwahorQadian.

IdidnotwishtoaskHuzoortorepeatandsoIjustwentwithwhatIthought

IhadheardandsoIreplied:

“Huzoor, if you go to Rabwah or Qadian, I would be happy there –

whereveryouareiswheremypeaceisandwhereIwillbecontent.”

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Achatheekhain…aurkyahai?”

That:

“Okthat’sfine…whatelse?”

Tothisday,IdonotknowifmyresponsewasaccordingtowhatIthinkIhad

heardorwhetherImisheardandHuzoorthoughtthatIhavegivenastrange

unrelatedanswer!

TheWrathofGodthroughone’sleadership

DuringacallwithHuzooron24April2020,IinformedHuzoorofnewsthat

theUSPresidenthadgivenabizarremediabriefingtheeveningbeforein

whichhehadadvocated the possibility of ingestingbleachasoneway to

tackleCOVID-19.

48

It was scarcely believable that the leader of the world’s most powerful

countrycouldbesayingsuchthings.

IinformedHuzoorthatsomebleachcompanieshadbeenforcedtorelease

statementsclarifyingthatbleachshouldnotbeingestedinanyformorunder

anycircumstances.

Afterhearingthereport,Huzoorsaid:

“This statementabout ingestingbleach is theheightof ignoranceand

beyondbelief.Sometimes,Godpunishesnationsfortheirinjusticesand

crueltiesbygivingthemleaderswhohumiliatetheentirenationandits

people.”

ApreciousUrduClassmoment

A day or two before, I had shared a video clip with Huzoor fromMTA’s

archive.ItwasaclipofanUrduClassfrom1997inwhichHazratKhalifatul

Masih IV (rh) showed a photo of Hazrat Khalifatul Masih V (aba) and

introducedhim.

ItwasmygoodfortunetohavebeenpresentinthatUrduClassandHazrat

KhalifatulMasih IV(rh)spokewithmeat thatmomentandremindedme

thatSahibzadaMirzaMasroorAhmad,ashewasthen,hadvisitedHartlepool

withhimearlierthatyear.

I remember that moment quite clearly. In fact, as a teenager in 1997, I

remember thinking that there must be something very special about

49

SahibzadaMirzaMasroorAhmadbecauseHazratKhalifatulMasih IV (rh)

hadmentionedhimwithgreatloveandaffection.

Lookingback,IconsideritagreatblessingthatHazratKhalifatulMasihIV

(rh),withwhomIspentalotoftimeasachild,introducedmetothatblessed

person who was destined to take charge of fulfilling the mission of the

PromisedMessiah(as)andforwhomIhavebeenmostprivilegedtoserve

closelyformanyyears.

During the phone call, Huzoormentioned the video clip andmuch tomy

surprise,HuzoorinstructedthatIshareitwithothers.Iwasembarrassedto

sharetheclippubliclygiventhatIwaspresentinitbutsensingmyreticence,

HuzooragaininstructedthatIshouldshareitwithothersandthatitwould

proveofbenefitforsomepeople.

Asaresult,IfirstpostedthecliponafamilyWhatsAppgroup,followedbya

smallgroupofstaffmembersfrommyoffice.Finally,IposteditonTwitter

throughwhichitwasdisseminatedfarandwide.

Overthenextdayortwo,IreceivedmanymessagesfromAhmadisinvarious

countriesinresponsetotheclip.Manywrotethattheirfaithhadincreased

and they felt happy and emotional to seeHazrat KhalifatulMasih IV (rh)

speaksolovinglyofHazratKhalifatulMasihV(aba).

ItwasafterreceivingsuchcommentsthatIrealisedwhatHuzoorhadmeant

whenhesaidthatitwouldproveofbenefitforthecliptobeshared.

50

Sadnews

WewerereachinglateApril2020andwhilstitwasbeingsaidthattheUK

waspassingthepeakofCOVID-19,thedeathtollremainedextremelyhigh.

Sadly,anotherAhmadi,GhulamMustafasahib,whoservedasavolunteerin

thePSOffice,alsopassedawayandsoduringacallwithHuzooron27April

2020,Iofferedmycondolences.

Inresponse,Huzoorsaid:

“Now two members of Islamabad Jamaat, Nasir Saeed and Ghulam

Mustafa,havepassedawayaftercontractingthe coronavirus.Ghulam

MustafahadaverygoodqualitythathewasalwaysintheMosqueand

hislifewascentredaroundit.MayAllahtheAlmightyblessandprotect

his wife and children and enable them to always stay close to the

Jamaat.”

Atimelymove

Imentioned Iwas receiving regular feedback about an articlewritten by

IbrahimIkhlafsahibabouthisexperienceswithCOVID-19.

IaskedHuzoorifheagreedwithIbrahimsahib’spointthatHuzoor’smove

to Islamabadbefore theonsetof the coronaviruswas alsopartofAllah’s

planning.

51

Inresponse,Huzoorsaid:

“Yes what he says is right because it would have been much more

problematiciftheMarkazhadremainedattheFazlMosqueduringthe

pandemic.ItwouldnothavebeenpossibleformetogototheMosqueor

toleavethebuildinginwhichmyresidenceandofficewas.Furthermore,

manyofthestaffmembersinthePSOfficeandtheothercentraloffices

basedinIslamabadliveonsiteandsotheyareabletocontinueworking,

whereasifwewereattheFazlMosqueitwouldnothavebeenpossible

forthemtoreportforduty.”

Lovethroughreformation

AfewdaysearlierIhadwrittenanarticleinwhichIhadinterviewedQamar

Sulemansahib,alsoknownas‘Babbi’,fromRabwah.

ItoldHuzoorthatonepointwhichhadstruckmewasthatQamarSuleman

sahib said that sometimes Huzoor had, on occasion, personally paid the

financialduesowedbyindividualsaccordingtothejudgmentoftheDarul

Qadha.

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“IhavementionedinmysermonsthatIamgreatlypainedandsaddened

wheneverIhavetotakeactionagainstanyAhmadi.Theonlyreasonthat

Igiveanysanctionisbecauseitismydutyforthesakeofreformingthe

individualandensuringwellbeingoftheJamaat.Andyes,Babbiisright,

therehavebeensomeoccasionswhereIpersonallypaidwhateverwas

52

owedbyonepartysothatthedisputewouldendandtoensurethatthe

unityoftheJamaatwasnotthreatenedinanyway.”

CancellationofJalsaSalanaUK

As the days passed by, I wondered about the UK Jalsa Salana. It seemed

almostimpossibleforittotakeplaceinAugustasplanned,howeverithad

notyetbeenofficiallycancelledorpostponed.

LateApril,IpluckedupthecouragetoaskHuzoor.Isaid:

“Huzoor,isthereanypossibilityfortheUKJalsatotakeplace?”

Inresponse,Huzoorsaid:

“Forgetit–itcannottakeplacethisyear!Forone,theGovernmentwill

notpermitmassgatheringssosoonand,evenifthatwerenotthecase,it

issimplynotpossibletomanageitsafelyduringthispandemic.”

ThoughIamcertainHuzoorwillhavefeltsadnessthattheJalsacouldnot

takeplace,heremainedpositive.

Huzoorsaid:

“ThemoneysavedfromtheJalsabudgetcanbereallocatedtofulfilother

importantJamaatprojects.Furthermore,itwillenableustoincreaseour

servicetohumanity,whichisneededmorethaneverduringthistime.”

53

IaskedHuzooriftherewasanypossibilityofholdingtheJalsatowardsthe

endoftheyear.

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Itistooearlytosay,wewillseelater.”

Afewdayslater,AmirSahibUKsentoutacircularinformingmembersofthe

Jamaat that, according to Huzoor’s instructions, the Jalsawould not take

placeinAugust.

ThewisdomofKhilafat

I informed Huzoor that the UK Government Education Minister had

announcedthatwheneverschoolswouldreopenintheUK,theclasssizes

would be limited and that it would not be possible for the full school to

reopenatonce.

Afterlearningofthis,Huzoorsaid:

“Itoldyousomedaysagothatwhentheyreopenschoolitshouldbedone

withsmallerclassesandthatthiswastheonlywaytodoitsafely.”

Inresponse,Isaid:

“Huzoor, probably the Government spent millions commissioning

reportsandtakingscientificadvicebeforereachingthisdecision–ifthey

54

hadcometoyouandsoughtyourguidancetheywouldhavesavedalot

ofmoneyandtime!”

Huzoorlaughedandseemedtoenjoythecomment.

Thoughmy commentwas light-hearted, there is no doubt that Allah the

AlmightyhasgrantedKhalifa-Waqtwisdomnotonlyinreligiousmattersbut

alsoinsecularaffairs.

Fromtimetotime,therearesomehumbleleadersorpoliticianswhohave

soughtHuzoor’sadviceandguidance.

Sadly,themajorityremainoblivioustothegreatblessingsassociatedwith

Khilafatandwecanonlypraythattheyortheirsuccessorscometorecognise

thetruth.

Holdinghisumbrella

Earlierthatday,aKhadimwhowasondutyatIslamabadcontactedmeto

expresshissadness thatbecauseof the requirementsofsocialdistancing,

Huzoornowhadtoholdhisownumbrellawhenitrained.

Duringthecall,ImentionedthistoHuzoor.

Inresponse,Huzoorsaid:

“Agarumbrellapakarnapargyatuphirkyahuwa?”

55

That:

“SowhatifIhadtoholdmyumbrella?”

Huzoorcontinued:

“ItwasrainingatFajrtimeandsoAhmad(MuhammadAhmadsahib)

cameforwardwiththeumbrellabut I toldhimandtheothersecurity

team members to stay back. Then, Waqas (Sahibzada Mirza Waqas

Ahmad)cameforwardandofferedtoholdtheumbrellabutItoldhim

thatIwillcarryitmyself.”

LaughingHuzoorsaid:

“Meintuazaadhuwahoon!Enjoykarrahoon!”

Meaning:

“Ihavebecomefreeandamenjoyingit!”

Uponthis,Isaid:

“Huzoor,ifyoufeelfreeandhappythenitisgood!”

Certainly,itfeltthatHuzoorwasenjoyingthoselittlethingswhichwetend

totakeforgranted,suchasholdinganumbrellaandnothavingcrowdsof

peopleconstantlyaroundhim.

56

In normal circumstances, Huzoor permits his security staff to hold his

umbrellaormembersofKhuddamtohandhimtheshoe-hornasheexitsthe

Mosquebutnotbecausehedesiressuchprotocolorhelp.Rather,hepermits

such thingsbecause they fulfilourdesire toreap theblessingsassociated

withservingKhilafat.

Wecanonlyimaginehowrestricting,evensuffocating,itmustbeforKhalifa-

Waqttohavehiseverymovementshadowedandtoalwaysbeinthepublic

eye.Yet,HuzoorhasalwaysacceptedthisburdenforthesakeofAllahthe

Almighty.

ThisdoesnotmeanthathenevermisseshisoldlifepriortoKhilafatinwhich

hehadtheprivacyandfreedomthattherestofustakeforgranted.Thus,the

happinessinHuzoor’svoicewhenhespokeofholdinghisownumbrella.

Press&Mediaguidance

On1May2020,onHuzoor’sinstruction,Ionceagainremainedathomeon

Friday,ratherthanreportingforMulaqat,asithadnotyetbeentwoweeks

sinceourchildrenhadbeenunwell.

Mostgraciously,HuzoorcalledmeintheeveningandaskedhowIwas.

Inresponse,ratherthanrespondingtoHuzoor’squestion,forsomereasonI

said:

“Huzoor,IlistenedtoyourKhutbaJummahtoday.”

57

Inreply,Huzoorsaid:

“ThewayyouaresayingthisitseemsyouhavelistenedtomyKhutbafor

theveryfirsttime!”

Thereafter,ImentionedthatinHollandnon-AhmadiMuslimshadrequested

permissionfortheAzanatthetimeofFridayprayerstobebroadcastovera

loudspeakerinsomeDutchcities.

CertainmediaoutletswereaskingourJamaatforitsopiniononthismatter.

Uponthis,Huzoorsaid:

“HollandisnotanIslamiccountryandsowecannotdemandorexpect

that theAzanbe played on a loudspeaker. If the authorities decide to

reject this request it is their choice and their right. However, if they

choosetopermititwewillconsideritagestureofkindnessandafavour

upontheMuslimcommunityandwillverymuchappreciateit.”

Duringthenewsbriefing,IalsopresentedthecaseofaSikhdoctorworking

fortheNHS,whohadrefusedtoshavehisbeard,asrequiredbyhishospital

sothataspecialistPPEfacemaskcouldbefittedtoprotecthimfromCOVID-

19.Asaresult,hehadbeensidelinedfromfrontlineduties.

Ihadreadcommentssuggestingthedoctorwasbeingsomewhatmilitant,

whilstIalsosawotherssayingtheNHSmanagementshouldnotforcehimto

putasidehisreligiousbeliefs.

58

IaskedHuzoorwhatMuslimdoctorsshoulddoinsuchcircumstances.

In reply,Huzoor suggested that a balanced solutionought tobe found, in

whichthereligiousconvictionsandsentimentsdidnotneedtoclashwith

thedemandsofservinghumanity.

Huzoorsaid:

"Abearddoesnothavetobefull-lengthandsotoupholdtheirreligious

beliefsaMuslimdoctor couldkeepa very short stubblebeardaround

whichtheirprofessionalmaskscouldstillfitsecurely.”

Leadbyexample

Laterintheweek,IreceivedacallfromHuzoorinwhichImentionedthat

myeldersonhadturned7andIsoughtHuzoor’sguidanceaboutwhetherit

wasnownecessaryforhimtoofferallfivedailyprayers.

Inparticular, Iwasnotsureif itwasnecessarytowakehimforFajrorto

keephimawakeforIshaonthosesummerdayswhenIshaisofferedvery

lateatnight.

Huzoor’s response was a reflection of Islam’s balanced and moderate

teachings.

Hemade it clear that at the age of seven there was still room for some

flexibilitybutthateveryeffortshouldbemadetoconveytheimportanceof

Salatanditspractice.

59

Huzoorsaid:

“TellMahidthatheshouldofferatleasttwoorthreeprayerseveryday

andifhecanmanageallfivethenitisevenbetter.Mostimportantlyyou

shouldleadbyyourpersonalexample.IfyouareleadingNamazinyour

homethesedayshewillnaturallyofferthemwithyouanditwillbecome

hishabitwithoutanyeffort.”

Huzoorcontinued:

“Treathimwith loveandsoftnessbutyoushouldmake itclear tohim

fromnowthatwhenhereachestheageof10itwillbehisobligationto

prayfivetimesaday.Also,asitisRamadan,youshouldlethimdoachiri

roza(babyfast)sothathecomestounderstandthespiritofRamadan.

Wakehimonedayandlethimeatagoodsehri(pre-dawnbreakfast)and

thenhecanendhisfastwithamealatmidday.”

Afterthecall,ItoldMahidthatHuzoorhadgivenspecialinstructionsforhim

regardingSalatandRamadanandhewasextremelyhappy.

Thenextweekendhedidachiriroza, assuggestedbyHuzoor,anditwas

clearthatitenabledhimtostartappreciatingthespiritofRamadan.

TurningtoAllahtheAlmighty

ImentionedtoHuzoorthatitseemedasthoughwewouldhavetoofferEid

prayersinourhome.

60

In response, Huzoor said that he had already given instructions to Amir

SahibUKtoinformJamaatmembersthatEidprayerswouldbeofferedin

homes, as there was no chance of Government restrictions on places of

worshipbeingliftedbeforetheendofRamadan.

AsIconsideredthelikelihoodofnotseeinganyfamilyorfriendsand,above

all,notseeingHuzoorandnotofferingNamazbehindhimonEidday,Isaid:

“Huzoor,bohatajeebdunyahogihai,bohatajeebhalaathogayhain.”

That:

“Huzoor,theworldandthecurrentcircumstancesareextremely

strange.”

Respondinginthemostbeautifulway,Huzoorsaid:

“PhirAllahsaychimatjao,yayhihulhai,yayhitareekahai.”

Meaning:

“ThenattachyourselftoAllah,thisistheonlysolution,thisistheonly

way.”

61

AbetterwaytomarkVEDay

Over the next few days, I continued to receive regular phone calls from

belovedHuzoorintheevenings.Huzoorcontinuedtogiveguidanceonour

officeaffairsandwouldgiveinstructionsasrequired.

For example, the UK Jamaat asked me to seek Huzoor’s guidance about

whethertheycoulddisplayflags,buntingorbannersatourMosquesonthe

75thanniversaryofVEDayasameansofcelebration.

Though,Huzoorpermittedawrittenstatementtobepublished,hedidnot

permitforcelebratorygesturesattheMosque.

Huzoorsaid:

“Atthistime,manypeoplearestilldyingfromthecoronavirusandothers

areunwellandsoitisnotappropriatetocelebrate.TelltheUKJamaat

thatwhatevermoneytheywouldhavespentonsuchcelebrationsshould

instead be donated to charities helping thosewhoare suffering or be

giventothehealthservices.”

Failingtoheed

Onanotherday,IinformedHuzoorthattheUK’scoronavirusdeathtollhad

surpassed that of Italy and was now second only to the United States

globally.

62

Afterhearingthis,Huzoorsaid:

“WhenthesituationinItalyhadreacheditspeak,theItalianGovernment

urged countries like the UK to learn from itsmistakes and to impose

social restrictions earlier. However, the UK did not learn from Italy’s

mistakesandremainedveryslowtotakeproperactionandtheresultis

nowbeforeusall.”

Atimeforworldlyleaderstoreform

DuringanotherMulaqat,Huzoorindicatedthathefeltthatitmaybethetime

forhimtowriteagaintocertainworldleaders.HesaidIshouldbereadyto

takedictationforthelettersfromhiminthecomingdays.

Huzoorsaid:

“Itisnecessaryformetodirectlywarntheleadersthatthetimehascome

forthemtoturntoGodAlmighty.Ihavegiventhismessagemanytimes

beforebut,giventhegravityof thecoronavirusand itsunprecedented

effect on the world, now is the time to address them once again and

explainthatitisonlythroughtheGraceandMercyofGodthathumanity

canbesavedfromfurthermiseryanddestruction.”

Filledwithgrief

Suddenlyoneday,duringtheweekbeginning11May,thecallsfromHuzoor

stopped.

63

I assumed thatHuzoorwasbusyand comfortedmyselfwith the fact that

Insha’AllahIwouldseehimagaininIslamabadonFriday.

Yet, like countless Ahmadis, the moment I saw Private Secretary, Munir

Javed sahib appear onMTA at 1pmon Friday 15May 2020, I knew that

somethingwasseriouslywrong.

Ashebegantospeak,myheartsunk.HedeliveredamessagefromHuzoor

inwhichhementionedthathehadfallenafewdaysearlierandsustained

quite serious injuries, which meant he was unable to deliver the Friday

Sermon.

I do not need to describe the feelings of desperation, devastation and

heartacheIfeltbecauseeveryAhmadifeltthesame.Asenseofconfusionand

ofbeinguselessoverwhelmedmethatmybelovedKhalifahadbeeninjured

andIhadbeenblissfullyunaware.

Though,IwasthenabletocontactHuzoorandhereassuredmethathewas,

Alhamdulillah, recovering very well, I continued to feel a deep sense of

unease.

Thisrestlessnesscontinued,untilafewdayslater,whenIwasabletomeet

Huzoorforthefirsttimeafterhisfall.

Seeingmybelovedonceagain

IwillneverforgetthatmomentwhenIenteredHuzoor’sofficeandsawhim

forthefirsttimesincehehadfallenandinjuredhimself.

64

Before entering, I kept wondering how I would enquire about Huzoor’s

healthandwhatwordsIwoulduse.

Yet,beforeIhadthechancetosayanything,Huzoorsaid:

“Abidhowareyou,howisMalaandhowarethechildren?”

Icouldnotbelievethatevenatthattimewhereitwasmydutyandobligation

andheartfeltdesiretoaskHuzoorhowhewas,itwashewhoenquiredafter

thehealthofmeandmyfamily.

As I sat down, I was relieved to see that Huzoor’s injuries were healing

extremelywellandwerehardlynoticeable. Iwasfurtherreassuredatthe

sightofHuzoorsittingathisdeskasnormal.

Theonlydifferencewasthathewasnotwearinganachkanandwasjustin

shalwarkameez.

Idonotknowifthatwasduetotheresidualeffectofhisinjuriesormerely

duetothewarmerweather.

WhenitcametomyturntoaskHuzoorhowhewas,Itwistedmywordsand

had to repeat myself three times before Huzoor understood what I was

saying.

Myemotionsweregettingthebetterofmeandsotheclarityofmyspoken

Urdu,weakatthebestoftimes,wasutterlyincoherent.

65

Huzoorexplainedhowhehadfallen.

Itisnotmyplaceormydesiretonarratethedetails,yetwhatIwishtosay

isthatHuzoor’scourageandbraveryatthattimewasanexampleforallmen.

Huzoorhadgoneintohisgardenwithpurposeofturningoffaswitchand

afterfallingseverely,hegotuphimselfandwentandcompletedthaterrand,

before returning to his house and calling Dr Shabbir Bhatti sahib who,

thankfully,wasonsiteatIslamabad.

Despitethepainandseverityofinjury,HuzoortoldmethathereassuredDr

Shabbirsahibandtoldhimnottoworryandtoattendtohisinjurieswithout

anysenseofpanicorworry.

Tellingmeaboutthenextfewdays,Huzoorsaid:

“Alhamdulillah,Iammuchbetternowandthepainhasmostlysubsided.

Evenduringthefirstfewdays,eventhoughIwasinpainandwasunable

to come to the office, I used to sendWaqas (SahibzadaMirzaWaqas

Ahmad)togettheofficefilesandlettersandIwouldreviewtheminmy

home.”

Uponthis,Isaid:

“Huzoor, during that time Iwas also sending office letters to you and

wouldreceivethembackfromyourofficethenextday.WhenIlearned

thatyouhadbeeninjuredIfeltsoembarrassedthatIhadburdenedyou

66

with non-essential letters but at the same time amazed that you had

continuedtogothroughitsoquickly.”

Thereafter,Huzoorsaid:

“WhenIfirstgotinjuredIfearedthatitwouldtakemeatleasttwoweeks

torecoverbutwithAllah’sGraceandMercytherecoveryhasbeenmuch

faster.”

Ashecontinuedtowork,Huzoorsaidthathestillhadsomepaininhisknees

andinhiswrist.

Givenhehadsaidthis,IwassurprisedtoseeHuzoorwalktoacupboardnear

hisdeskandbenddownforseveralmoments,whilstundoubtedlyputting

extrastrainonhisknees.

As he stood up, I sawHuzoor had taken something out of the cupboard,

whichhegavetomeasanearlyEidgift.Icouldbarelycontrolmytears.

Timeandtimeagain,Khalifa-Waqtishewhoignoreshisownpainduetohis

loveforus.

HeisthepersonwhomakeseverypossiblesacrificeinthecauseofIslamand

toensurethewellbeingofAhmadiMuslimsacrosstheworld.

MayAllahenableeveryAhmadiMuslimtorecognisehowfortunateweare

tohaveKhilafat.Ameen.

67

Conclusion

Inthispersonalaccount,IhavesharedsomemomentswhichIhavehadthe

opportunity to spend in the company of Hazrat KhalifatulMasih V (aba)

duringthelockdownperiod,manyofwhichwereviathetelephone.

EverymomentwasspecialbutIpraywithallmyheartthatthepandemic

soonpasses so thatwe come to see, evenmore thanbefore, the joys and

blessingsthathavebeeneverpresentduringHuzoor’speriodofKhilafat.

Iendbyaskingallpeoplewhomaycomeacrossthisdiarytocontinuallypray

forthelonglifeandgoodhealthofHazratKhalifatulMasihV(aba)andthat

weareallable toremaincompletely faithful to the institutionofKhilafat.

Ameen.

End

Anycommentsorfeedback:abid.khan@pressahmadiyya.com