a place called serenity

8/13/2019 A Place Called Serenity

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A

PLACE CALLED SERENITY


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A place called Serenity

HK Masara

Copyright HK Masara 2012

Published at Smashwords

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CHAPTER ONEAT some point in time one as to sit and ta!e a closer loo! at t e li"e

t ey li#e and i" it $i#es t em peace% T is &as & at &as $oin$ t ro'$t e mind o" (atrina as s e primped ersel" in t e mirror% Peace &ast e one t in$ s e deeply )elie#ed in alt o'$ s e "elt s e ad ne#ere*perienced t e "eelin$% I" only s e co'ld "ind t at one t in$ t at)ro'$ t er peace &it ersel" and t ose aro'nd er% S e ad s aredt is re#elation &it er "riend +essie )'t s e ,'st teased t e e#erytime s e mentioned it% S e co'ld not )lame er a"ter all to +essie itseemed li!e as!in$ "or t e 'nattaina)le especially &it t e li"e t eyli#ed%

Admirin$ er ima$e in t e mirror one last time s e si$ ed and closeder p'rse% It &as almost se#en and s e !ne& +essie &as already

impatiently &aitin$ "or er at t eir 's'al meetin$ place% On t e &ays e &is ed s e co'ld a#e ad a di""erent li"e to t at s e ad and it&as t is t at led er to con#ince +essie to $o to t e dinner dance%+essie ad nat'rally re"'sed )ein$ resent"'l to&ards t e 'pper class)'t a"ter care"'l pers'asion ad a$ainst er )etter ,'d$ement said

yes% Alt o'$ s e ne#er s o&ed it (atrina "elt +essie 'nderstood eryearnin$ to a#e a $limpse o" t e ot er li"e e#en ,'st "or one e#enin$%

To er t e & ole p'rpose o" li"e &as to "ind peace &it onesel" andt eir decisions )e t ey $ood or )ad% It &as ne#er ealt y to li#e inre$ret & ate#er li"e one ad% It &as all a)o't ma!in$ c oices.appreciatin$ t em and o" co'rse o)tainin$ serenity "rom it all% A lot o"people did not 'nderstand er & en s e told t em o& s e "elt%+essie sco""ed. er )rot er la'$ ed and er parents told er s e

needed to )e realistic% S e did not !no& o& t e idea ad )e$an oro& s e ad come to t in! o" s'c all s e !ne& &as t at instead o"

$i#in$ er peace t e idea tro')led er t e more it crossed er mind%

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0A)o't time yo' came. +essie said impatiently. 0I &as t is close to$oin$ )ac! ome%

0Sorry +. )'t t e important t in$ is t at I m ere. ri$ t2

03 ate#er. let s $o%

T e Dean E#erton Academy senior dance t ey &ere $oin$ to cras &as)ein$ eld at a 4reat To&n Hall% Dean E#erton &as a pri#ate sc ooland only c ildren "rom &ealt y "amilies &ent t ere% T e st'dentst ere ne#er associated &it t e ot er sc ools t ey t o'$ t &erein"erior% Tr't )e told. t ey ad some ner#e $oin$ t ere !no&in$ t att ey &o'ld li!ely stand o't "rom t e cro&d% T ey ad )orro&ed somedresses "rom Daisy & ose mot er )o'$ t er clot es s e rarely &ore%

T ey too! a deep )reat as t ey disem)ar!ed t e ta*i t ey ad 'sedand stood o'tside t e all% +essie "elt intimidated )y & at s e sa&.s e ad ne#er seen so many & ite people )e"ore% S e made a motionto t'rn aro'nd and lea#e )'t (atrina $ra))ed er )y t e arm and said.0yo' cannot )ail o't on me no&%

0O!ay )'t yo' o&e me )i$ time (. & at t e ell lets roc! t is party.+essie said and &al!ed into t e all con"idently%

T is &as & at (atrina admired most a)o't +essie. er darin$ nat're%3it a small la'$ s e "ollo&ed )e ind er in 5'ic! pace in an e""ortto catc 'p &it er% As t ey &ere a)o't to enter a tall )londe

,'mped in "ront o" t em and demanded. 0I do not )elie#e I a#e metyo' t&o )e"ore. in#itations please%

0Yo'rs "irst please. replied +essie darin$ly%

0I !ne& it. $atecras ers% 3 at !ind o" people cras a lea#ers dance20E*c'se me2

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T e )londe $a#e t em an e#il smir! and e*pressed. 0&ell I $'ess I a#eto noti"y t e responsi)le a't orities7

0T at &o'ld not )e necessary Tamara. a deep #oice said )e ind t em%

T ey )ot t'rned to see & o ad spo!en and t eir ,a&s dropped att e si$ t o" im% T e )oy &as at least "i#e "oot nine and e to&ereda)o#e t em% He &as not )'l!y )'t )i$ and e smiled at t e )londe%

03 y is t at2 . s e as!ed%

0T ey are my dates "or t e e#enin$. sorry I m late ladies. e said%

(atrina and +essie &ere at a loss "or &ords )'t played alon$ &it )i$

smiles% T e )londe loo!ed "rom im to t em and e*pressed s oc!%8'ic!ly s e t'rned aro'nd and &al!ed a&ay m'tterin$ somet in$a)o't a Claire )'t t ey i$nored er% Instead t eir attention s i"ted tot eir !ni$ t in s inin$ armor% 9e"ore s e co'ld 'tter a t an! yo'+essie said. 0c'te mo#e ric )oy%

0Yo' !no& a t an! yo' &o'ld )e more appropriate considerin$ I ,'stsa#ed yo' "rom a terri)le ordeal &it t e a't orities%

0A a . no yo' don t )i$ $'y7%

03 at my "riend means is t an! yo'. (atrina )ro!e in )e"ore +essie$ot t e c ance to em)arrass t em in "ront o" a complete stran$er%

0Damn ri$ t. learn some manners ma am%

3it t at e &al!ed a&ay lea#in$ (atrina &it an opport'nity to scolder "riend "or )ein$ so indiscreet% +essie ,'st complained s e ad not

&anted to come any&ay%

03 at are yo' doin$ actin$ all $oodie $ood "or2 Tryin$ to impress t eric !id2

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0No% Tryin$ not to $ra) 'nnecessary attention. s e replied%

0O!ay ,'st don t ma!e me loo! )ad in t e process%

T at seemed to satis"y +essie and s e stopped complainin$ and &al!edo#er to t e )e#era$e ta)le &ere an assortment o" drin!s &erearran$ed% S e co'ld not elp notice people aro'nd eyein$ er ands'ddenly "elt 'ncom"orta)le% Any&ay t is &as not er scene and i" it&ere not "or er "riend &o'ld not a#e )een t ere% 9ein$ +essie. s e

,'st i$nored t em and po'red ersel" a drin!%

0Y'm I lo#e t is e*pensi#e st'"". s e said as s e anded (atrina a$lass%

Ta!in$ a sip. (atrina co'ld not elp )'t a$ree% T e &ine &as $ood and&ent "or a second $lass a"ter $'lpin$ do&n t e one +essie ad anded

er% Loo!in$ aro'nd s e &is ed t ey ad not come% 3ell t ey &erealready t ere so s e &o'ld ma!e t e )est o't o" t e e#enin$% T edance &as so "ormal. too "ormal "or er% On t e dance "loor co'plesdanced aro'nd slo&ly in & at s e t o'$ t &as a &eird series o"mo#ements% S e &as 'sed to t e parties in er nei$ )or ood &erepeople $ot do&n and danced 'ntil t eir adrenaline &as p'mpin$%

Any&ay & at did s e e*pect to "ind at a Dean E#erton dance%T e cro&d loo!ed ele$ant and it &as as i" s e &as &atc in$ cele)ritieson t e red carpet rat er t an sc ool st'dents% 3it o't e#en reali;in$it s e stood a)sent minded loo!in$ at t e people &it a smile on er"ace% O & at s e &o'ld $i#e to li#e a li"e li!e t e ones t ey ad ,'st"or a day% S e &o'ld dine in e*pensi#e resta'rants and dri#e a nice."las y car &it a personali;ed plate%

0Yo' !no& i" yo' don t stop starin$ yo' are $oin$ to sell yo'rsel" o't.try to act normal and )lend in%

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S e almost ,'mped in "ri$ t )'t s e mana$ed to control ersel"% It &asim a$ain% It seemed to er e ad a &ay o" appearin$ "rom no& ere

& en yo' &ere not e*pectin$ im% (atrina loo!ed 'p at im in anannoyed manner% S e ated it & en someone startled er li!e t at%

0I m doin$ "ine. t an! yo'%

0And "or a moment t ere I t o'$ t yo' loo!ed star str'c!% Pardon myill ,'d$e o" c aracter t ere%

03 at do yo' &ant2 . s e as!ed )l'ntly%

0Not in$. ,'st to tell yo' yo'r "riend is ca'sin$ tro')le o#er t ere% Yo')etter 'rry )e"ore s e ca'ses a scene. e replied as e pointed in

t e direction in & ic +essie &as%

3it a si$ s e 5'ic!ly &ent o#er and $ra))ed +essie% +essie &asal&ays o't to loo! "or tro')le especially &ere ric people &ereconcerned% S e &as terri)ly )iased to&ards t em and s e co'ld not)lame er "or "eelin$ t at &ay% S e "o'nd a 5'iet corner and dra$$ed+essie into it and loo!ed at er "or an e*planation% S e $ot none &it+essie optin$ to "old er arms and loo! side&ays% It &as t e moment tolea#e )e"ore more tro')le )re&ed and t ey &ere t ro&n o't & ic&o'ld )e so 'miliatin$% Pity s e still &anted to an$ aro'nd "orlon$er% S e t'rned and eaded "or t e e*it &it +essie "ollo&in$ close)e ind%

Once o'tside +essie &ent on to say. 0o!ay. I m sorry% I ,'st ated t e&ay s e &as loo!in$ at me li!e I &as tras %

0It s o!ay +ess. let s ,'st $o ome and "or$et toni$ t e#er appenedpl's I need t e rest% Am &or!in$ mornin$ s i"t tomorro& at t e ca"=%

0Sorry I r'ined yo'r Cinderella ni$ t o't )'t yo' !no& people li!e 'sdon t "it into t is. +essie said%

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0I !no&%

As t ey parted &ays to $o to t eir respecti#e omes +essie s o'tedo't. 0I m sorry (%

(atrina ad already "or$i#en er as al&ays% S e &as ri$ t t ey did not"it in t at &orld% Her place &as ri$ t ere in t e $ etto &ere peopleli!e er ad a place% T e nei$ )or ood t ey li#ed in &as ri"e &itcrime and po#erty &it c ildren a#in$ to elp t eir parents ma!eends meet% Her )rot er T( &as a leader o" one o" t e $an$s & icterrori;ed t e streets% S e ad )een is a ,'#enile centre t&ice once"or petty t e"t and t e second time "or dr'$ a)'se% No s e &as not adr'$ a)'ser s e ad ,'st )een 'nl'c!y to )e ca'$ t t e "irst time%

No& at t e a$e o" se#enteen s e "elt s e &as ne#er lea#in$ t e ood%?ost o" er "riends &ere already married to older men and ot ers &itille$itimate c ildren% S e ersel" dated some older men "rom time totime & en s e &as not tal!in$ to er )oy"riend Tony%

Tony &as a "airly decent $'y. )etter t an t e ot er local )oys% He &ass&eet )'t s e !ne& t e relations ip &as not $oin$ any& ere% T ey)ot 'sed t eir relations ip as a&ay to $et a&ay "rom it all% T ey &erein t e same class at sc ool and e did not seem to care & en s e &as"oolin$ aro'nd &it some older $'y% It &o'ld stay t at &ay 'ntil t eyo't$re& eac ot er and mo#ed on%

T at ni$ t as s e slept s e t o'$ t a)o't t e )oy )ac! at t e dance%He ad seemed pretty concerned a)o't +essie and er% S e tried notto t in! m'c a)o't it. t ere &as no point in t in!in$ a)o't someones e &o'ld ne#er see a$ain% S e closed er eyes and tried to $et somesleep. tomorro& &o'ld )e a )'sy day since it &as Sat'rday% S e

's'ally &or!ed at ?r A)ott s diner d'rin$ t e &ee!end to raise somee*tra money% S e &as content &it er ,o) )eca'se it o""ered "le*i)leo'rs and t e salary &as reasona)le%

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04ood mornin$ ma%

0?ornin$ oney. ?rs R'dd replied er da'$ ter as s e p'lled o't ac air "or er to sit%

S e 5'ic!ly ate er )rea!"ast )eca'se s e &as already r'nnin$ lateand ?r A)ott &o'ld not li!ely )e pleased i" s e &as late% T ey ad toclean 'p )e"ore openin$% 3it a pec! to mot er s c ee! s e $ra))ed

er )a$ and ran o""% S e &as ,'st in time to "ind im 'nloc!in$ t e)ac! door and s e pleasantly $reeted im% ?r A)ott o""ered ,o)s to t enei$ )or ood !ids & ene#er e co'ld and "or im it &as a pleas're to$i#e )ac! to t e comm'nity% Alt o'$ e &as & ite and li#ed in t es')'r)s. e &as a "a#orite to t e locals )eca'se e &as so !ind%

0Hey (. ?att e&. t e ot er &aiter $reeted er%

S e responded &it a simple nod and mo#ed on to p't on er apron%S e "ailed to 'nderstand & y t ey ad to clean t e darn place itloo!ed clean% It &as 's'ally cleaned a"ter closin$% ?r A)ott &aso)sessed &it !eepin$ 'p y$iene standards and s e still did not see

o& it &as necessary% Eit er &ay s e ad to ad ere to is re5'ests inorder to !eep er ,o)% S e ad &or!ed "or im e#er since lea#in$ t e

,'#enile centre a year a$o & ere s e ad spent "o'r mont s "or ta!in$eroin% S e &as released a"ter t ey "o'nd o't s e &as not an a)'ser

)'t one time 'ser% S e ad )een in anot er centre )e"ore t at "or si*mont s "or t e"t% It &as not somet in$ s e &as pro'd o" and s et o'$ t it &as at t e centre t e & ole idea o" serenity came into ermind%

T e mornin$ &as )'sy as it &as e#ery &ee!end and s e ardly "o'nd amin'te to rest% ?att e& &as e5'ally e* a'sted and !ept ma!in$ "aces& en ?r A)ott &as not loo!in$% (atrina $i$$led silently as s e ser#edt e c'stomers% It &as almost noon & en s e "inally $ot a c ance to sitand ta!e a deep )reat % 9e"ore s e co'ld e#en ta!e a second )reats e eard ?r A)ott call o't. 0(atrina ta)le t ree needs a &aiter%


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-B-

Rel'ctantly s e dra$$ed er "eet o't o" t e !itc en and eaded "orta)le t ree% T ere e &as sittin$ &it is ead inside t e men'

)oo!let% He closed it & en e eard er approac and loo!ed 'p% T es'rprise on is "ace &as not in$ compared to t e s oc! on ers%inally composin$ ersel" s e as!ed i" s e co'ld ta!e is order%

0I ll a#e some tea & ile I &ait to order. t an! yo'. e said &it asmile%

0O!ay. & at s yo'r $ame2

or a second e loo!ed as i" e &o'ld ,'mp at er )'t instead e said.

0)oy are yo' a paranoid one%

0O so yo' e*pect me to )elie#e it )y some &eird coincidence yo' reere )ein$ ser#ed )y me2

He $a#e a small ridic'lin$ la'$ and replied. 0I ll a#e my tea no&%

03 y do I )ot er any&ay72

0So yo' do )ot er2

0I ll )rin$ yo'r co""ee sir%

0Tea%

S e s&ore s e &o'ld po'nce onto im i" t ey &ere not in a cro&dedplace and i" s e &as not a"raid o" losin$ er ,o)% 3 at "'rt er irritated

er &as t at e seemed ardly dist'r)ed and calm% S e t o'$ t s esa& a int o" la'$ ter in t e corners o" is lips )e"ore s e t'rned to $ocollect is tea% 3as s e t at paranoid as e ad said2 I" s e &as atleast s e &as not as paranoid as +essie & o s'""ered "rom an insanelye*treme case o" paranoia% S e came )ac! &it t e tea a "e& min'teslater and dropped t e c'p in "ront o" im% S e ad not e*pected it totill o#er and spill )'t it did and e ,'mped &it a start% Her eyesopened &ide &it orror and ,'st stood t ere starin$ at im%


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03 at are ,'st standin$ t ere "or2 . e s o'ted%

0I m so sorry sir. it &as my mista!e7%

0Loo!. yo' #e r'ined my s irt% I #e $ot a "rea!in$ inter#ie& later onand7%

0Is t ere a pro)lem sir2 . ?r A)ott as!ed as e $raced t e scene%

He did not need to $et an ans&er% T e lar$e tea stain on is s irt andtro'sers said it all% He apolo$i;ed sincerely and o""ered to ta!e is

clot es to t e cleaners at is o&n e*pense & ic &o'ld )e ded'cted"rom er salary nat'rally% S e &o'ld accompany im to t e cleaners)ein$ t e c'lprit% In t e street as t ey &al!ed s e said. 0I didn t meanto7%

0Sa#e it. deep do&n yo' pro)a)ly sin$in$ aye%

0No. $os I m not t at cr'el%

He &as in"'riated &it er and it &as e#ident% S e too! a closer loo!at im and sa& somet in$ & ic &as deeper t an t e "'ry e "elt% Heloo!ed so sad and e* a'sted% Or may)e s e &as seein$ t in$s. it &as

,'st er ima$ination% T ey &al!ed silently 'ntil t ey reac ed t ecleaners and entered%

0?amma mia. o& did yo' $et t at stain2 9't do not despair Nor)ertois ere at yo'r ser#ice to ta!e care o" t at% I" yo' please step into t edressin$ room and ta!e t em o""%

He did so and closed t e c'rtain )e ind im% A"ter Nor)erto collectedt e stained clot es s e mo#ed closer to t e dressin$ room and& ispered. 0I m (atrina%

0H' 2 . e said "rom inside%


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0I said my name is (atrina and I m sorry a)o't t e tea. I didn t mean toreally7%

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0Yes yo' did. e pa'sed. 0yo' t re& t e c'p%

0Yea )'t I didn t mean "or it to spill77%loo! I m tryin$ to ma!e peaceere%

He did not ans&er and t ey &ere silent "or a & ile% Sensin$ e &as not$oin$ to say a &ord s e t'rned to $o )ac! to t e &aitin$ area )'tstopped & en s e eard im say. 0I m ?ars al%

A smile appeared on er "ace and s e said. 0t at s a nice name. nice tomeet yo' ?ars al e#en i" it s 'nder t e &eirdest o" conditions%

S e t'rned to $o )ac! er peace o""erin$ )ein$ accepted% T ere &asno reason to remain at t e dressin$ room%

0Don t $o. e called a"ter er. 0I m scared%

03 y2

0It s not in$. I m sorry I called yo' )ac!%

S e did not &ant to impose so s e le"t im )e and &ent to sit at t e&aitin$ area% So s e ad seen correct. e ad sent a stran$e #i)e& en t ey &ere &al!in$ and s e ad &ron$ly read it% It &as notsadness e "elt )'t an*iety and &orry% It too! a ma*im'm o" "orty-"i#emin'tes "or t e stains to )e remo#ed and t e clot es re-ironed% Allt at time s e de)ated on & et er to as! im & at &as )ot erin$ imor not% 9y t e time e came o't s e ad not yet decided on & at to do

so s e ,'st "ollo&ed er instincts and as!ed on t eir &ay o't. 0earlier& en yo' said yo' &ere scared7%

0I don t &ant to tal! a)o't it it sort o" ,'st came o't%

In an e""ort to c an$e t e s'),ect s e as!ed. 0yo' said yo' ad aninter#ie& later on7%


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0I SAID7. e too! a deep )reat and contin'ed. 0I don t &ant to tal!a)o't it%

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0D'de yo' need to rela* ere. I didn t mean to pry%

He too! a le"t t'rn and &al!ed a&ay 5'ic!ly% S e ,'st contin'ed on&onderin$ & at is pro)lem &as &it er% S e &as ,'st $lad er s i"t&as o#er and s e co'ld $o ome and an$ o't &it er "riends% It&o'ld )e a relie" t e day co'ld not a#e ad any less drama%3 ate#er ?ars al s pro)lem &as it ad to )e deep2 S e some o& "eltpity "or im. it &as $ood to !no& e#en t e ric ad t eir "air s are o"pro)lems and drama%

S e $a#e ?r% A)ott t e receipt "rom t e cleaners and e cas ed it% S eapolo$i;ed "or t e incident and e dismissed it sayin$. 0t in$s li!e t is

appen in o'r line o" &or! and yo' d )e pleased to !no& I m notta!in$ it o"" yo'r salary "or today )'t i" yo'7

0I !no&. I !no&% T e ne*t time I &ill not )e so "ort'nate% T an! yo'?r% A)ott. I really appreciate it%

04o ome. see yo' tomorro&%

3it t at s e ran )ac! and $ra))ed er )a$ and r's ed ome% On t e&ay s e called +essie tellin$ er a)o't t e incident at t e ca"=% +essiela'$ ed pointin$ o't t at e $ot & at e deser#ed and it ser#ed imri$ t% S e did not "eel t e same o&e#er. it still tro')led er o&'neasy e ad seemed% Any&ay it &as ,'st +essie )ein$ +essie s e&o'ld )e insane to e*pect any sympat y "rom er%

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?ars al c'rsed at imsel" "or reactin$ so o'tra$eo'sly% 3 y co'ldpeople not ,'st mind t eir o&n )'siness2 It did not concern anyone& at appened &it im% 9't e &ondered & et er it &as er s e&as an$rier &it or imsel"% T e press're is parents &ere $i#in$ imdid is sit'ation no ,'stice% All t e aspects o" is li"e )e t eyacademic. social or reli$io's &ere controlled )y is parents and it)ot ered im so m'c e ,'st &anted to scream o't lo'd% E#eryt in$

e did 'p to t is date &as dictated to im )y is e#er controllin$"at er% His "'t're ad already )een dra"ted "or im and e ated it%His mot er ad $one t e e*tra mile to ac5'ire im is c'rrent$irl"riend Claire & o accordin$ to t em met t eir set standards o" t eri$ t $irl "or im% Claire &as a na$ and e did & ate#er possi)le toa#oid er% T en t ere &ere er "riends )reat in$ do&n is nec! as i"s e &as not irritatin$ eno'$ %

He ated o& s e came e#ery S'nday "or l'nc and dropped ints

a)o't a "'t're & ic accordin$ to im &as de"initely con#inced t ey&o'ld ne#er a#e% He &o'ld not )e s'rprised i" in er mind s e sa&t em married &it c ildren sittin$ on a porc t&enty years "rom no&drin!in$ tea & ile playin$ scram)le% 3 at really annoyed im a)o#ee#eryt in$ else &as t at is )est "riend Dylan "ailed to ac!no&led$e

o& 'n appy e &as &it er. $oin$ on and on a)o't t e per"ectco'ple t ey made%

He ad le"t is car par!ed at t e ot er side o" t e street% He adplanned on $ra))in$ a 5'ic! )ite )e"ore dri#in$ to ort Dic!son "or isinter#ie&% It &as t e la& sc ool is parents &anted im to $o to a"ter"inis in$ i$ sc ool% It &as a $ood sc ool )'t is aspirations did notlie &it la&% T e only t in$ e ad e#er &anted to do &it is li"e ad)een pro i)ited )y is "at er% P'ttin$ t e !ey into t e i$nition t een$ine came to li"e and e dro#e "or ort Dic!son% He &as con#inced


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t e inter#ie& &o'ld )e a disaster% or t e past &ee! e ad re#isedline )y line & at e &as $oin$ to say &it is mot er a"ter dinner%3 at t e ell e t o'$ t. a"ter all it &as not li!e is parents &ere$oin$ to )e in t e inter#ie& alt o'$ is mot er &o'ld &ant

-16-

a &ord "or &ord acco'nt o" t e & ole inter#ie& "rom t eir "aciale*pressions to comments made in passin$% He rolled is eyes and $a#ea tro')led la'$ % It &o'ld ta!e im a ma*im'm o" t ree o'rs toreac ort Dic!son and in t e meantime e &o'ld en,oy t e dri#e%

@@@@@@

0O t ere is (atrina. +essie said as s e &a#ed at er%

S e &a#ed )ac! and &ent and sat amon$st t em% 3as s e s're $lad to)e amon$ sanity at last2

0+essie ,'st told 's a)o't t e dance yo' cras ed. yo' t&o a#e somener#es. Tim)o said as e p'nc ed er li$ tly on t e s o'lder%

T ey sat at t e comm'nity )as!et)all co'rt & ere t ey 'n$ o't mostdays% Tim)o alon$ &it +oel. Stacy and +ac!ie &ere er "riends andt ey ad !no&n eac ot er since c ild ood e*cept "or Stacy & o admo#ed t ere si* years a$o% T e si* "riends 's'ally spent most o" t eirtime to$et er since t ey &ent to t e same sc ool%

0Yea . )'t it &as a total &aste. s e replied%

0Tell me a)o't it. +essie said. 0not in$ &as "'n t ere%

0T at is )eca'se &e did not stay lon$ eno'$ to $et any "'n. s e

corrected +essie%0F'' . is t is a)o't )i$ ric !id2 Honey ta!e my ad#ice. e is so notyo'r type% I mean did yo' see is s!in2 I don t !no& & at e p'ts on it)'t I d s're &ant some o" t at st'"". +essie said as s e e*amined ero&n s!in%


16/198

Tim)o and +oel )ro!e o't la'$ in$ and s e passed t em a &arnin$$lance & ic t ey i$nored% T ey &ere reminded o" t e time s e adtried some s!in "orm'la t e pre#io's year and &o!e 'p t e "ollo&in$day &it "la!es o" er s!in peelin$ o""% S e &as so sensiti#e a)o't t at

s'),ect and al&ays

-1:-

)ecame moody & ene#er t ey )ro'$ t it 'p% T ey "ailed to'nderstand & y $irls &ere so conscio's a)o't t eir loo!s% O" co'rse a

$irl ad to loo! er )est. it &as a prere5'isite )'t t ey did not need to)e o)sessed )y it%

0I &o'ld a#e &anted to meet one o" t em ric !ids. +ac!ie saiddreamin$ly%

+essie smac!ed er across t e ead and scolded er "or e#en t in!in$o" s'c a rep'lsi#e t o'$ t%

0Aa$ . yo' my "riend &ill ne#er $o any& ere &it s'c )e a#ior%Listen to me i" yo' &ant to )e some& ere in li"e. +ac!ie said%

0Don t mind +essie. s e s )iased% Yo' !no& t at. added Stacy%

(atrina &ent on to e*plain & at ad appened )ac! at t e ca"=% Eaccontri)'ted t eir #ie&s &it some in s'pport o" (atrina and t e ot erstotally on +essie s side t at e ad deser#ed it% T e eated de)ate&ent on 'ntil d's! and t ey decided to call it a day% +essie and (atrina&ent ome disc'ssin$ on & at t ey &o'ld do t e "ollo&in$ day% T eyco'ld not a$ree on & at to do and t ey parted &it o't a#in$ come toan a$reement% T ere &as no "'ss. t ey &o'ld e#ent'ally "indsomet in$ interestin$ to do come tomorro&%

Her )rot er and some o" is $an$ &ere at ome &atc in$ a $ame o""oot)all% S e i$nored im and &ent on to sca#en$e t e re"ri$erator "orany le"to#ers & ic s e "o'nd none% S e &ent into t e sittin$ roomand &it er arms "olded in "ront o" er demanded. 0alri$ t. & o ateit2


17/198

0I did. sorry. R's replied insincerely%

It annoyed er o& er )rot er s "riends elped t emsel#es toanyt in$ t ey &anted as i" t ey o&ned t e place% Her "at er too! no

notice o" t en & en e did decide to come ome% Her mot er ,'ststood )y and &atc ed. T( &as o't o" control and scoldin$ im &o'ld)e 'seless% He at times stole

-1


18/198

o't% His place &as only a t&enty min'te &al! "rom er o'se% 4entlys e !noc!ed on t e apartment door and a man opened it% Seein$ er

e 5'ic!ly &ent o't and closed t e door )e ind t em%

03 at did I tell yo' a)o't comin$ ere. I told yo' my &i"e is )ac!. t eman said in almost a & isper%

-1>-

0I t o'$ t yo' d )e appy to see me2 . s e said%

0I am. )'t no& is not a $ood time%

09't I m 'n$ry and I need someone to ta!e me o't7

He dipped is and into is poc!et and too! o't a "e& "i#e dollar notesand $a#e t em to er )e"ore slammin$ t e door in er "ace% S eaccepted t e money and poc!eted it )'t co'ld not elp "eel re,ectedand 'n&anted% S e p't er and into er poc!et and "elt t e money%Slo&ly s e le"t t e )'ildin$ and too! a ta*i into to&n% ?r A)ott s diner&as still open and s e &ent inside and smiled to ?att e& in $reetin$%?att e& & o &or!ed t ere "'ll time $a#e er an ac!no&led$in$ nodand &ent a)o't is ,o)%

S e sat do&n and opened t e men' )oo!let alt o'$ s e already !ne&e#ery meal t at &as in it% Closin$ it s e motioned "or a &aiter to ta!e

er order and anot er )oy named Gictor came% Politely e $reeted er)'t s e ,'st $a#e a sli$ t $rin%

0Ha#in$ a )ad day2 . e as!ed%

0Tell me a)o't it%

0I eard a)o't t e tea t in$. I ope ?r% A)ott &as not too ard on ya%S e ,'st s oo! er ead and &ent on to place er order% It &as t ent at s e sa& im enter% He &as loo!in$ aro'nd as i" in searc "orsomeone and & en e sa& er is "ace lit 'p in relie"% Care"'lly e


19/198

&al!ed 'p to er and said. 0& e& "or a moment t ere I t o'$ t I &asnot $oin$ to "ind yo'. can I sit2

0Sit%

He p'lled o't a c air and sat opposite er% He seemed a )it ed$y ander silence did not ma!e it any )etter "or im% Gictor came )ac! &iter order and as!ed "or is% He ordered a co!e and Gictor le"t% T ey

sat "or & ile in silence% S e stared at im and t is made im e#enmore 'neasy%

-1 -

0T ere is no easy &ay to say t is e*cept I m tr'ly sorry "or my mean

)e a#ior earlier on. e "inally said%

0T at is t e least o" my &orries d'de. s e ans&ered d'lly%

0Let 's let )y$ones )e )y$ones and start a"res . e said as ee*tended and "or er to s a!e%

S e too! it and &elcomed t e $est're o" peace% A"ter all &as it not er)elie". to try and "ind serenity and peace &it er "ello& )ret ren%3 at messa$e &o'ld s e )e preac in$ i" s e re"'sed to accept a$est're o" peace o""erin$2 No& t at t ey ad decided to start all s estr'$$led to "ind t e appropriate &ords to say to s'it t e sit'ation% Henoticed er di""ic'lty and sa#ed er t e tro')le )y sayin$. 0I ,'st came)ac! "rom t at inter#ie& I ad $one "or%

0O . o& did it $o2

0It &ent &ell I a#e to say it lasted lon$er t an e*pected t o'$ %

0+o) inter#ie&20No. it s "or la& sc ool% ?y parents &ant me to #ent're into la&7%it isa "ine sc ool7

09't yo' don t &ant to $o t ere. act'ally yo' don t e#en &ant to doanyt in$ concerned &it la&. s e "inis ed o"" t e sentence "or im%


20/198

0Yea . o& did yo' !no&2

0Yo' loo!ed sad earlier pl's yo' ,'st said yo'rsel" yo'r parents%

T ey sat and tal!ed as s e ate% T e more s e tal!ed to im t e mores e reali;ed o& m'c t ey ad in common% He told er a)o't is"amily and is older )rot er & o &as an artist% S e listenedattenti#ely &it interest at & at e &as sayin$% 9y t e end o" t ee#enin$ s e "elt s e !ne& im as i"

-1B-

t ey ad )een "riends all t eir li#es% T ey "elt so com"orta)le in eacot er s company and it "elt stran$e to er% S e co'ld not stop la'$ in$

& en e told er a)o't Claire and o& s e co'ld dri#e a sane personto $o as cra;y as a mad co&% His li"e &as drama a"ter drama. itintri$'ed er%

0Ho& do yo' deal &it er2

0O it s cra;y. I ,'st play alon$% S e can )e 5'ite t e drama 5'een attimes and7)'t I m 'sed to it all no&. e admitted%

It &as t en er t'rn to tell im a)o't er li"e and t e e*pression o"orror on is "ace as s e told im made er la'$ % ?ars al co'ld not

)elie#e is ears% T e orror o" it all &as dist'r)in$ and e t o'$ t s e&as p'llin$ is le$% In detail s e e*plained a)o't t e nei$ )or ood s eli#ed in. er "riends. er mot er and sc ool% Her li"e &as e*actly t eopposite o" is and s e "elt so com"orta)le &it it. it scared im% It&as important to co'nt is )lessin$s t e ne*t time e t o'$ t o"complainin$% Ot er people &ere $oin$ on "ar less and e co'ld ima$ine

o& e &o'ld s'r#i#e i" all t e l'*'ries e ad &ere ta!en a&ay% He&o'ld s'rely die e &as certain o" t at%

0So yo' re act'ally sayin$ it is normal "or yo' to &a!e 'p and "ind adead )ody on yo'r doorstep2 . e e*claimed in orror%

0Not li!e t at )'t people $et !illed "or t e silliest o" reasons%


21/198

0Aren t yo' scared2

0O" & at2 I m 'sed to my li"e and I li!e it%

0Let s c an$e t e s'),ect please% Tell me a)o't yo'r )oy"riend%

S e made a "ace and &ent on to say. 0 e totally )le& me o"" earlier% Imean e as t e a'dacity to treat me li!e t at% Any&ay e t in!s Icare. &ell I don t% T ere s al&ays 9o))y or Carlos to ta!e care o" me7

-1 -

S e stopped dead in er trac!s & en is eyes &idened in dis)elie"% In

is mind e &as t in!in$ o& er li"e ad more drama t an is% S eloo!ed li!e a "airly nice $irl and e co'ld not )elie#e t e n'm)er o"'naccepta)le t in$s s e in#ol#ed ersel" in% Ho& ad s'c a $oodloo!in$ yo'n$ $irl decided to &aste ersel" li!e t at2 He noticed & ens e smiled er teet &ere a little stained &it to)acco and e $'esseds e &as a smo!er% S e loo!ed almost t&o years yo'n$er t an im andit seemed s e ad done and $one t ro'$ st'"" e co'ld not e#enstand to ima$ine% He &as raised to )e a &ell mannered )oy & o

s 'nned any "orm o" immorality )'t e did not disdain er% Instead e"elt imsel" admire er onest and care"ree personality%

S e spo!e "reely not $i#in$ a care in t e &orld & at e t o'$ t o" erin t e process% To im it seemed s e ad $ro&n 5'ite acc'stomed to

er li"estyle s e did not "ind anyt in$ to )e em)arrassed or as amedo"% At sc ool e ad eard tal! o" people li!e er% T ey ad al&ays)een told t ey &ere )ad ne&s and &ere not a cro&d to associateonesel" &it % 9't (atrina seemed t e same )'t di""erent "rom t atcro&d% He "elt 'nderneat all t e promisc'ity and misc ie" &as an'nderstandin$ and "airly reasona)le 'man )ein$% T e more econ#ersed &it er t e more e reali;ed t at i" one scratc ed 'ndert e s'r"ace t ere &as a $irl &it dreams and aspirations t at ad )eenta!en a&ay "rom er d'e to circ'mstances.


22/198

+'st t en is p one ran$ and e too! a deep si$ )e"ore pressin$ t eaccept )'tton and sayin$. 0yes dad%

He listened "or a & ile and t en replied. 0it &ent &ell )'t it too!

lon$er t an &e d anticipated7. 0 e pa'sed to listen t en said. 0yes I mon my &ay )ac! no&. $i#e me an o'r ma*im'm%

He p't t e p one )ac! into is ,ac!et poc!et and $a#e er anapolo$etic loo!% S e 'nderstood e ad to $o and so did s e% It &as$ettin$ late and s e needed to rest. s e ad to &or! t e "ollo&in$mornin$% He paid er )ill and t ey stood to lea#e t e ca"=%

-/ -

CHAPTER

T3O?ARSHAL too! a deep )reat )e"ore openin$ t e "ront door% Hisparents &ere li!ely to )e &aitin$ "or im in t e lo'n$e to ear o&t e inter#ie& &ent% He t re& is !eys onto t e dra&er in t e "oyer

and )e"ore enterin$ t e lo'n$e plasted a )i$ smile on is "ace%

0?om. e said as e )ent do&n and $a#e er a !iss on t e c ee!%

0A my )a)y. yo'r "at er told me it &ent &ell. s e said &elcomin$t e $est're%

0Precisely. t ey said t ey &o'ld contact me )'t inted t at a place "orme &as a'tomatic. I did not e#en a#e to ta!e an inter#ie& )'t yo'!no& proced'res are proced'res%

0Splendid. s e said $ladly. 0 a#e yo' told Claire t e $ood ne&s%

T is totally r'ined t e mood "or im% T e con#ersation ad )een $oin$on &ell and e "eared t e topic o" Claire &o'ld c an$e all t at% Hestrate$i;ed and decided to a little & ite lie &o'ld not 'rt. 0I &anted


23/198

to $i#e yo' t e $ood ne&s "irst. yo' !no& yo' are al&ays "irst & en itcomes to my eart%

He stood 'p and &as a)o't to lea#e t e room & en t e atmosp ere

&as still pleasant & en s e said. 0spea!in$ o" Claire. I ad a c at &iter t is mornin$%

03 at did s e say2

0T at yo' &ere at t e dance &it some 'nidenti"ied loose moral $irls.care to e*plain & o t ey &ere2

-/1-0A 7t ey &ere7"rom c 'rc . yes "rom c 'rc % I #ol'nteered &itt em at t e "'ndraiser last year7

He &as not s're i" e ad er con#inced. e &as not con#incedimsel"% It &as ,'st so ard to lie to er especially & en e "elt s e

co'ld see ri$ t t ro'$ im% He ad is "in$ers crossed t at s e &o'ld)elie#e im and dismiss im% S e loo!ed at im as i" e#al'atin$ t ea't enticity o" is e*planation%

0Is it2

0Yes%

0Alri$ t. $oodni$ t dear and don t "or$et to $i#e Claire a rin$ )e"ore$oin$ to )ed%

0Yes mot er%

He 5'ic!ly &ent 'pstairs into is room and loc!ed t e door )e indim% He too! o't is p one )'t Claire &as t e last person on is mind

and e ad no intention o" callin$ er% L'c!y eno'$ "or im e admana$ed to as! (atrina "or er n'm)er )e"ore e ad dropped er o""at er o'se% Alt o'$ it &as ni$ t e ad mana$ed to $et a closerloo! at t e !ind o" nei$ )or ood s e li#ed in and &as a"raid t at a


24/198

$ro'p o" t '$s &as $oin$ to ,'mp o't "rom no& ere and ro) or i,ac!im% I" is car $ot stolen e did not !no& & at e &o'ld tell is

parents. t ey &o'ld s'rely !ill im% He dialed er n'm)er and it ran$"or a & ile )e"ore s e pic!ed 'p and said sleepily. 0& o s t is2

0It s ?ars al. did I &a!e yo'2

0No it s o!ay% 3 at s 'p2

0T e con"rontation &it my mom &ent &ell I &o'ld li!e to t in! so atleast%

-//-0Yay. do yo' t in! s e )elie#ed yo'2

0I )etter ope s e does7loo! (atrina tomorro&. yo' &ant to an$ o'tlater on2

0Yea . )'t it &on t )e in a date !ind o" &ay% Ri$ t2 . s e as!ed%

04os no. it &ill ,'st )e t&o "riends an$in$ o't%

04ood )eca'se I ,'st &anted to clari"y iss'es ere. it &o'ld )e so notcool i" one o" 's &as to mis'nderstand t e ot ers intentions. s e&ent on to e*plain%

0O" co'rse. so I ll see yo' say at t&o2

0T&o% 4oodni$ t ?%

0O it s ? no&2 . e said &it a int o" la'$ ter in is #oice%

0Totally. I can t )e sayin$ t e & ole &ord%

04oodni$ t (%

And &it a la'$ s e 'n$ 'p and &ent )ac! to sleep% ?ars al lay )ac!starin$ at t e ceilin$ &it a )i$ $rin on is "ace% (atrina &as ,'st & at

e needed at t is moment in is li"e% S e &as t e ri$ t distraction e


25/198

needed "rom is parents. Claire and is )orin$ 'ne#ent"'l li"e% He "elte $en'inely &anted to )e "riends &it er and e*perience t e &orld

t ro'$ er eyes% He &anted to catc a $limpse o" er &orld and t eot er side ,'st li!e s e ad &anted to see is side t e ni$ t o" t e

dance% He ad ne#er ad t is yearnin$ )e"ore. to e*plore a side to li"ee ne#er dreamt e*isted 'ntil e ad met (atrina% ?ay)e t is &o'ld

)e t e )irt o" a #ery $ood "riends ip )ased on p're c'riosity%

or once e &anted to li#e is li"e )eca'se 'p to no& e li#edaccordin$ to t e e*pectations o" t ose & o s'rro'nded im% It &astime e started to

-/6-

e*plore t e limitations o" is o&n potential and o& "ar e &as &illin$to $o in order to let imsel" loose o"" t e old t ey ad on im% He)e$an to "eel somet in$ e ad not "elt in a lon$ time t e "eelin$ o"impatient e*pectation% He did not !no& & at e &as e*pectin$ )'tdeep do&n )elie#ed is ne& )orne companions ip &it er &as $oin$to )e a t'rnin$ point in is li"e )eca'se )y )e"riendin$ er e &assacri"icin$ most o" t e t in$s e ad )elie#ed in%

He loo!ed at is alarm cloc! to see t e time% It &as almost midni$ tand e stood 'p to 'ndress% He settled in to sleep a"ter slippin$ into

is py,amas and closed is eyes%

@@@@@

Claire Ericson &as a #ery determined $irl% S e al&ays ad a &ay o"a#in$ er &ay done and people rarely contested% S e &as a tall and

)londe $irl &it "rec!les% Hea#en !no&s s e &as not t e prettiest o"

$irls )'t ad t e )rains to compensate "or t at% Claire &as a cle#erand smart $irl and &as e*tremely concerned &it stat's and class% Herparents &ere t e ric est "ol!s in to&n and s e li!ed to !eep 'pappearances% It &as &it t ese )rains s e ad manip'lated ?ars alinto a relations ip% S e ad &or!ed er &ay t ro'$ is parents t en

is "riends 'ntil e ad no c oice le"t%


26/198

S e ad )ro'$ t coo!ies "or is mot er and completely &on er o#er%?rs Trimmin$s ad enco'ra$ed t em to $o ta!e a &al! in t e $arden& ic e ad a$reed to rel'ctantly% He did not li!e Claire )'t &al!ed&it er any&ay% In t e $arden e made no e""ort to ma!e

con#ersation optin$ to listen to er $o on and on a)o't opera%

0Isn t &onder"'l ?ars al2 Yo' are s'c a $ood listener. yo' are t e)est )oy"riend I a#e e#er ad. s e said%

He almost c o!ed o"" t e apple e &as eatin$% It &as eit er s e &asp'llin$ is le$ or s e ad to t e most calc'latin$ and opport'nistic $irl

e ad e#er met%

-/:-

03 oa. stop ri$ t t ere% Did yo' ,'st say )oy"riend2

0Yes. yo'r mot er totally a$rees. said I &as t e most per"ect $irl "oryo' and I co'ldn t a$ree more. s e &ent on%

03ait. yo' spo!e to my mot er a)o't )ein$ my $irl"riend2

0Isn t it ,'st &onder"'l2

He co'ld not )elie#e er% 3 at !ind o" $irl did s'c a t in$ and o" allt e )oys at t eir sc ool s e co'ld a#e c osen to manip'late did s e

a#e to c oose im%

0Loo! Claire I don t t in! t at it s a $ood idea% T ere is not $oin$ to )eany relations ip )et&een yo' and me and t ere is not $oin$ to )e oneeit er%

03ell &e ll see a)o't t at. s e said and &al!ed )ac! to t e o'se%

He &as le"t t ere standin$ loo!in$ appalled and con"'sed% He !ne& i"s e ad t e s'pport o" is mot er it &o'ld )e a losin$ )attle "or im%T e "irst person e t o'$ t o" callin$ &as is "riend Dylan )'t t at &asno consolation )eca'se it seemed s e &on im o#er too% So "rom t atday "ort e ad o""icially )ecome Claire s )oy"riend and it &as no ,oy


27/198

ride% He tried to a#oid er & ene#er e co'ld and at times i$noreder% It seemed & ate#er e""ort e p't to $et rid o" er ,'st )ac!"ired

and $ained er more o" is mot er s s'pport%

One t in$ e &as s're o" &as t at e &as ne#er o#er is dead )ody$oin$ to marry er at some point in is li"e as s e ad planned% He&o'ld rat er die sin$le or )ecome a priest t an &al! do&n t e aisle&it er% It &o'ld )e a li"e sentence o" p're irritation and insanity%

@@@@@

-/


28/198

0Ric !id%

T ey all a#erted t eir $a;es to t e approac in$ d'o% +essie ad a loo!o" )etrayal &ritten all o#er er "ace% S e "ailed to 'nderstand & y

(atrina ad to )rin$ im to t eir an$o't place% It &as li!e t eirspecial place and s e ,'st ad to )rin$ im especially & en some o"t em ad e*pressed disappro#al &it er association to im% (atrinasa& t e &arnin$ loo! on er "riends "ace as t ey approac ed t e trioand !ne& t at +essie &as not at all impressed%

0Hey $'ys. s e said%

0T at s ,'st neat (atrina. ne*t yo' ll )e )rin$in$ im o#er "or l'nc ato'r o'ses. +essie snapped and t en $ra))ed er )ac!pac! andstormed o""%

-/>-

T ey all &atc ed er 'rry o""% (atrina $a#e +oel and Stacy pleadin$loo!s. silently )e$$in$ t em not to react in t e same &ay% L'c!y "or

er t ey 'nderstood er concern and smiled &armly at ?ars al%

0T is is ?ars al and ?ars al t is is +oel and Stacy%

0Hey ?ars al my man% Ho&;it2 . +oel said as t ey s oo! ands%

0 ine%

0Hi ?ars al. Stacy said%

A"ter all t e introd'ctions and $reetin$s &ere in order +oel and Stacydid not stay "or lon$% T ey came 'p &it some &eird e*c'se and le"t ina 'rry% ?ars al co'ld not elp )'t "eel a little tension t ere as i" t eydid not &ant to )e associated &it im% He sat on a )enc and tried toi$nore t e "eelin$% He ,'st oped it &as not $oin$ to ca'se any tro')le)et&een er "riends and er%

0T at &ent &ell. s e said as s e sat ne*t to im%


29/198

0T ey don t li!e me%

0O don t mind +essie )'t +oel and Stacy are cool% Yo' ll see & en yo'$et to !no& t em )etter%

He do')ted t at% He !ne& & ere e &as not &anted and (atrina s"riends mi$ t a#e acted nice )'t t ey did not li!e im "or reasons'n!no&n to im% Any&ay e &as not ere to an$ o't &it t em )'t

er so e &o'ld ,'st i$nore t em% He &o'ld not allo& s'c a smalliss'e to r'in is day%

0So tell me (. e said and t ey la'$ ed. 0& at do yo' li!e )esidesan$in$ ere at t e co'rts2

S e )it er lip as i" in deep concentration and e p'nc ed er li$ tlyon t e s o'lder% As s e t o'$ t o" it s e "o'nd o't t at most o" ertime &as spent

-/ -

ere at t e co'rts% S e co'ld al&ays mention t e partyin$ or t e$ames s e 's'ally attended &it T(% S'ddenly s e t o'$ t o" t e onet in$ s e &as 5'ite o)sessed &it )'t &as too s y to tell im a)o't%

0O c mon%

0T ere is t is place7o ne#er mind% I li!e partyin$ and7

0Hold it% I &ant to ear a)o't t is place yo' ,'st mentioned. e)ro!e in%

S e sco""ed s yly and loo!ed do&n% Ho& co'ld s e descri)e it to im&it o't totally ma!in$ a "ool o't o" ersel"2 S e ad tried to e*plain it

to ot er people )'t no one 'nderstood or &anted to $i#e t e time totry and 'nderstand% ?ost people told er s e &as $oin$ insane or told

er o"" to $o $et a li"e%

0I a#e t is idea. more o" a )elie". s e pa'sed. 0o!ay I a#e t is)elie" t at i" yo' e*ert all o" yo'r ener$y and "oc's in one place and


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concentrate on a partic'lar7o),ecti#e or state yo' can ac ie#eserenity%

0Serenity2

0Yea . li!e calmness. peace. tran5'ility7

0I !no& & at it means )'t72

03 e& t is arder t an I t o'$ t. s e said. 0t e & ole p'rpose o" li"eo&e#er yo' c oose to li#e it is to "ind serenity )et&een onesel" and

t e &orld. to ,'st a#e t at moment o" peace and calmness amon$ t eindi#id'al. t eir )ret ren and t e &orld t ey li#e in% Only t en &o'lda person a#e ac ie#ed total and tr'e serenity%

03o&. t at s deep. e ad to admit%

0Yo' o)#io'sly t in! t at I m cra;y%

-/B-

0No. I act'ally t in! it s )ea'ti"'l% I mean o& does one ac ie#e allt at. o& do yo' $et to t at place% I mean yo' really so'nd li!e yo'are really into t is serenity t in$%

0I am. a 'ndred percent% T e pro)lem is I a#en t 5'ite "i$'red o'to& to $et to t at place% It s li!e I "eel it and it s t ere )'t it s o't o"

my reac . I ,'st can t pinpoint e*actly & ere it is and o& to $ett ere%

0Yo' mean li!e a sel" act'ali;ation !ind o" process2

0Yes. s e said and loo!ed at im &it a $lo& on er "ace. 0?ars al. doyo' t in! s'c a state e*ists2

He searc ed care"'lly "or t e ri$ t ans&er% He did not &ant todisappoint or 'pset er% Here &as a $irl & o ad so many re$rets inli"e. & o li#ed eac day &is in$ s e co'ld a#e ad it di""erent% A $irl


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& o did not !no& t at i" s e &as &illin$ s e co'ld ma!e a di""erence&it t e li"e s e as% Her &ords &ere o" a person & o ad ne#er!no&n peace in er li"e% One t at &as loo!in$ to "ind solace ine#eryt in$ and a &ay o't )'t &as too a"raid at t e same time to ta!e a

step. scared at & at s e mi$ t "ind at t e ot er side% He "o'nd imsel"dra&in$ inspiration "rom er and admirin$ er stron$ stamina%

0I" yo' )elie#e I $'ess t at s all yo' a#e to do (atrina. )elie#e. eans&ered a"ter care"'l consideration%

+'st t en a $ro'p o" older )oys entered into t e co'rt and s e &a#edat one o" t em% He &as o" almost t e same ei$ t as im and &al!edto&ards t em% 3 en e approac ed t em e $reeted er "irst and

t en im% He loo!ed li!e a nice person and ?ars al "elt imsel" li$ ten'p% T e )oy &as oldin$ a )as!et)all in one and and in t e ot er a)ottle o" &ater%

0Came to practice2 . s e as!ed &armly%

0Yes. &e a#e a $ame in si* &ee!s% T is may ,'st )e t e )i$ )rea! meand my )oys need i" &e &in t is t in$. e said &it s'c eart%

-/ -

0I" yo' e#er need me yo' !no& I m ere "or moral s'pport. s e said'moro'sly%

He $a#e a small la'$ and s i"tin$ is attention to ?ars al said. 0is t atyo'r A'di2

0Yes%

0Neat. yo' are not "rom t ese parts are yo'2 . t e )oy as!ed c'rio'sly%

0No%

0He li#es in t e s')'r)s. s e )ro!e in and sa& t e loo! o" ama;ementon is "ace%


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?ars al o&e#er remained indi""erent and introd'ced imsel". 0t ename s ?ars al%

0Pleas're. I m Donnell )'t e#eryone calls me Don. e t'rned and

loo!ed at is $ro'p t en t'rned )ac! to "ace t em and said. 0I $ot to$o%

He ad not &al!ed "o'r steps & en e t'rned )ac! and as!ed. 0do yo'play2

?ars al &as 5'iet "or a & ile and $a#e a small la'$ )e"ore replyin$.0t at as ,'st $ot to )e t e 'nderstatement o" t e cent'ry% I ,'st don tplay )'t I play to &in )i$ time%

Don motioned im to s o& t em some o" is mo#es% He stood 'p andtoo! t e )all "rom im and s ot it "rom & ere e stood% T e )alllanded strai$ t into t e oop and a roar o" praise "ollo&ed "rom t eot er )oys% He "elt $ood a)o't imsel" considerin$ e ad not eld a)as!et)all in more t an a year% It &as $ood to !no& e still ad it in

im% He "aced Don & o appla'ded and said. 0&e co'ld 'se someoneli!e yo' on t e team i" yo' are not playin$ "or anot er team t at is%

-6 -

A sad loo! crossed is "ace and e responded. 0I don t play anymore%I m sorry%

He $a#e Don a pat on t e s o'lder and &al!ed a&ay% (atrina ran a"terim and only ca'$ t 'p &it im & en e &as a)o't to reac is car%

S e noticed e loo!ed tro')led and is eyes &ere &atery% It &as in a

moment li!e t is & en silence &as o" importance s e reali;ed &ords&ere not & at e needed% Care"'lly s e &ent into is arms and $a#e

im a )i$. &arm '$% He appreciated t e $est're and '$$ed er )ac!%In is arms s e seemed so tiny and e &as a"raid i" e s5'ee;ed anyti$ ter. e mi$ t s5'as er% He "elt a&!&ard & en t ey "inally let $o


33/198

and e &as a loss "or &ords% He scratc ed is ead in em)arrassmentand s e $a#e a lo'd la'$ %

0Don t $et any na'$ ty ideas )i$ )oy%

He la'$ ed and said as e imitated a Te*an accent. 0no maam%

0Come &it me. s e said. 0lea#e t e car% I &ant to s o& yo'somet in$ and I &o'ld pre"er it i" &e &al!ed%

@@@@@@

0Ha#e yo' seen ?ars al. e ,'st ran o"" a"ter t e ser#ice2 . ?rTrimmin$s as!ed is &i"e%

0He said e &as $oin$ o't &it Dylan and (e#in% He said not to e*pectim soon. e is $oin$ to )e late. s e replied%

?r Trimmin$s did not see any arm in t at% A"ter all e &asresponsi)le )oy & o !ne& is limitations and )o'ndaries% His &i"e and

e &ere so pro'd o" im% Fnli!e is )rot er & o ad mana$ed toe#ade $oin$ to la& sc ool to )ecome an artist instead. ?ars al &as#ery o)edient and $a#e t em no reason not to )e pro'd% Little did e!no& t at t eir o)edient son &as not &it is "riends "rom sc ool )'t&it a c aracter t ey &o'ld "ind 'naccepta)le and ta&dry%

-61-

3 at t ey did not !no& &as t at e#en i" (atrina &as o" lo&er classt an t em and lac!ed principles s e made t eir son "eel li!e e co'ld)e imsel" and elp im "ind a ne& con"idence in imsel"%

@@@@@@

?ars al str'$$led to maintain is "ootin$ in t e dilapidated rail&ay%(atrina o&e#er &al!ed &it o't tro')le !no&in$ & ere eac o)staclelay% On t e &ay t ey contin'ed to $et to try and $et to !no& eacot er )etter% T ey as!ed 5'estions & ic at times &ere met &itridic'lo's ans&ers% S e ad re"'sed to tell im & ere t ey &ere


34/198

$oin$. rat er pre"errin$ to s'rprise im% T ey ad )een &al!in$ "oralmost an o'r )'t e &as not complainin$% He ad not ad m'c "'nin a lon$ time%

0O!ay. s e said. 0"a#orite )and%0Nic!le)ac!. e replied%

0 a#orite son$%

0I d say its ne*t contestant%

0A . o!ay & at is yo'r second "a#orite2

0T at s a to'$ one. )et&een Aerosmit and A99A7

03 at. no TI or Dre2

0T at st'"" is #ery corr'ptin$% I )elie#e it s my t'rn% 3 at is yo'r"a#orite )oo!2

S e scratc ed er ead% S e &as not m'c o" a reader. in "act s eated readin$% A"ter ard t o'$ t s e said. 0I read t is )oo! once

named 0a to&n li!e Alice and I t o'$ t it &as $ood so t at &ill $o "or"a#orite%

0Not )ad. colo'r2

0P'rple%

-6/-

0Last 5'estion. & at is yo'r "a#orite son$2

0It s de"initely $ot to )e 1 6 )y +ames 9l'nt%

03 at. e said as e mimic!ed er. 0no TI or Dre2

(atrina &as really en,oyin$ is company and t e same co'ld )e said"or im% S e "elt so "ree and not once ad e ,'d$ed er% inally t eyreac ed t eir destination% In "ront o" t em stood a lon$ deserted ca)int at loo!ed as i" it &o'ld cr'm)le to t e $ro'nd i" one n'd$ed it% He


35/198

loo!ed "rom t e ca)in to er 5'estiona)ly% S'rely s e did not e*pectim to $o inside t e "ra$ile str'ct're. it co'ld collapse on t em% He

&as ,'st too yo'n$ to die s'c a deat % S e $ra))ed is and andp'lled im inside% He &as rel'ctant to enter )'t is mind c an$ed as

soon as e sa& t e interior% It loo!ed so neat and peace"'l% T ere&ere nice c's ions to lie on t e "loor and scented candles almoste#ery& ere% A nice ,ar o" "lo&ers stood on a small stool and t eatmosp ere &as soot in$% It loo!ed li!e a meditation room%

S e remo#ed er s oes and stepped onto t e c's ions and as!ed. 0doyo' li!e it2

0Yea 7it s ama;in$%

0It s my serene lair. I 's'ally come ere & en I ,'st &ant some 5'iet.s e spo!e o" t e place &it s'c pride. e &as to'c ed%

0I a#e to admit I m impressed% 3o&. I m completely !noc!ed o#er%

He ,oined er on t e c's ions and sat do&n% T ey &ere com"orta)leto a relati#e de$ree and t e room &as &arm and &elcomin$% He co'ldnot $et imsel" to stop loo!in$ aro'nd t e room in am'sement% All t etime s e &atc ed im "eelin$ $lad &it ersel" and $rate"'l t at e"o'nd t e room pleasant% A )o* o" matc es lay ne*t to t e ,ar o""lo&ers s e too! it s e started li$ tin$ t e candles% A &arm and spicyaroma "illed t e room and e &as e#en more impressed%

-66-

0Apart "rom +essie. yo' are t e only person I a#e e#er s o&n t isplace and to t in! I a#e only !no&n yo' "or a day. s e said sittin$do&n%

0Isn t "'nny. it is li!e &e a#e !no&n eac ot er all o'r li#es%

0Yea . s e smiled. 0yo' re cool ?%

T eirs &as a "riends ip in a million% T ey &ere t&o di""erent people"rom opposite )ac!$ro'nds yet so ali!e% Deep do&n t ey &ere ,'st t e


36/198

same )ot loo!in$ to disco#er t eir p'rpose and "'ll potential% Notonly &ere t ey in an e""ort to disco#er t eir tr'e sel#es )'t &ere alsodisco#erin$ t e tr'e meanin$ o" "riends ip% T eir ne& de"inition o" t e&ord "riends ip &as )ein$ a)le to o#erloo! t e "la&s o" t e ot er and

o#ercome any di""erences% To$et er t ey &o'ld elp eac ot erac ie#e t eir serenity%

0Do yo' a#e somet in$ t at yo' really lo#e. t at yo' "eel empty andp'rposeless &it o't2

0I don t !no&. I #e lost trac! &it t e t in$s I lo#e. s e replied. 0& atis yo'r $reat lo#e%

0Playin$ )all%

Remem)erin$ o& e ad reacted & en Don ad as!ed im to ,oin isteam s e 'nderstood% ?ars al ad t e ot er day e*pressed isloat in$ "or la& sc ool and s e $'essed & at e &anted to do &it isli"e% It &as sad "or one to not )e a)le to do & at t ey lo#ed most%

0Tell me a)o't it%

0All I #e e#er &anted is to play. 'nleas t e )as!et)all )east &it in

me% I don t &ant to do la& or some "ancy de$ree "or t at matter% I ,'st&ant to play )all%

0So play )all%

-6:-

0It s not t at easy% ?y dad &on t e#en ear o" it. t in!s it s a

distraction "rom & at I m )orn to )e% 9't I &as )orn to play and t isla& t in$ is t e act'al distraction% I ,'st &ant to )e "ree. econ"essed%

0T en )e "ree ?ars al Trimmin$s% 4o and play. yo' can t a#e yo'rli"e dictated to yo'% I &o'ld ate to see yo' li#e in re$ret i" yo'


37/198

i$nored t at part o" yo' t at ma!es yo' & o yo' are. s e spo!e &itso m'c enco'ra$ement and reass'rance%

0Tr'e )'t my dad s $ot too stron$ a old on me. I m a"raid o" t e man%

I mean e t reatened to diso&n me i" I diso)eyed im ,'st li!e e didmy )rot er ?oses% 3it o't my parents I m not in$ ( and I can t ris!t at%

He &as too a"raid o" lettin$ $o o" all t e com"orts is parents pro#idedim% His )rot er ad made it )'t e "eared e &as not as stron$ and

determined as im% It ad ta!en is )rot er many ni$ ts o"preparation to "inally stand 'p to t eir "at er and &al! a&ay% He adnot ret'rned ome since )'t t ey did comm'nicate re$'larly% ?oses

&as older t an im )y "o'r years and &as t e only person & o'nderstood o& cold t eir parents co'ld )e% In one o" t eircon#ersations e ad proposed e lea#e ome and come li#e &it im%It &as temptin$ )'t e 'sed is )etter ,'d$ement and t'rned it do&n%?oses re)ellio's )e a#ior ad a'tomatically lost im t e al" amillion tr'st "'nd is parents ad created "or im% It ad $one to im)'t is "at er &as cle#er and stated t at e co'ld only attain it 'pon$rad'atin$ "rom la& sc ool%

T is meant e ad a million dollars &aitin$ "or im all e ad to do&as $o to ort Dic!son and attain t at la& de$ree and it &as is% It &asal&ays said money &as a $ood moti#ator )'t t e so'rce o" all e#il int e &orld% Any&ay e ad mana$ed to li#e &it t e pain"'l reali;ationt at e &as ne#er $oin$ to play )as!et)all no matter o& $ood e &as%

0Hello. eart to ?ars al. e eard er say and e snapped o't o" ist o'$ ts &it a. 0 ' 2

-6


38/198

THREE &ee!s ad passed no& since t e incident at t e )as!et)allco'rt )'t o&e#er ard s e tried to apolo$i;e to +essie s e paid no

eed to it% +essie &as ,'st )ein$ plain silly a)o't t e & ole sit'ationand )lo&in$ t in$s o't o" proportion% Stacy and +ac!ie &ere also

ta!in$ +essie s side )eca'se s e co'ld )e so intimidatin$ and"ri$ tenin$ at times% T ey &o'ld pass er apolo$etic $lances in classe*pressin$ t eir silent s'pport "or er% +oel and Tim)o decided toremain indi""erent and o),ecti#e a)o't t e & ole t in$ to & ic s e&as e*tremely $rate"'l%

A"ter class. d'rin$ )rea! time s e approac ed +essie% S e as s e dide#ery time s e did so no&adays "ro&ned% (atrina &as not $oin$ to )edisco'ra$ed and &ent on to say. 0+essie & at do yo' &ant me to do2 I

a#e tried apolo$i;in$%%%

0It s simple. all yo' a#e to do is c oose )et&een 's and ric !id%

0Hey t at s not "air7

0S'it yo'rsel"% T at s a)o't t e only compromise &e are ready toma!e%

(atrina co'ld not )elie#e +essie% Since & en &as s e t isinconsiderate and "air2 S e ad al&ays !no&n er to o#erreact )'tne#er to t is e*tent% It &o'ld )e 'net ical to c oose )et&een t em%(atrina "elt so disappointed &it +essie% 3 at person made s'cdemands on a person t ey called t eir "riend2 It &as t en t at (atrinasnapped and told er o"" "or er silly and pre,'diced )e a#ior%

0And yo' +ac!ie and Stacy since & en do yo' let +essie tell yo' & atto do2 I a#e ad it 'p to ere &it yo' and t is 'n)eara)le.

dis$'stin$ rampa$e o" yo'rs% 4et o#er yo'rsel" and stop tryin$ to)lame and ma!e ot er people

-6>-

s'""er "or yo'r insec'rities and )itterness% So & at some ric $'ya)'sed yo' once. t at does not mean all o" t em are )ad% No& ere is


39/198

t e t in$. sort o't yo'r messed 'p iss'es i" yo' still &ant to )e o'r"riend% 3e all a#e pro)lems o" o'r o&n yo' !no& &it o't yo' a#in$to add to t em7

0(atrinaJ0No +ac!ie. s e s ta!in$ ad#anta$e o" o'r sympat y%

+essie )ro!e o't cryin$ and ran o""% (atrina &as le"t to re$ret er&ords% S e did not !no& & at ad come o#er er to say s'c t in$s%Years a$o +essie ad )een #iolently a)'sed )y an older man t ey admet at a pool party t ey ad cras ed% E#er since t en s e ad )een#ery )itter and resent"'l to&ards ric people t in!in$ t ey 'sed t eirstat's and money to ta!e ad#anta$e o" t e less pri#ile$ed% +ac!ie andStacy ,'st loo!ed at er in dis)elie"% T ey !ne& t at +essie &as a#ictim o" t e o#erreactin$ syndrome and at times dro#e t em cra;y)'t (atrina did not a#e to )e so )l'nt and cold% T ey also "elt $'ilty)eca'se a little part o" t em t o'$ t +essie deser#ed it and s o'ld

a#e seen it comin$%

0O!ay & at no&2 . Stacy as!ed%

0T is is t e part & ere I $o and "ind er and apolo$i;e on my !neesand #o& to ne#er do s'c a t in$ a$ain%

03ell $ood l'c! &it t at one. said +ac!ie &it pat and t ey &al!eda&ay%

(atrina &as le"t to )eat ersel" on o& to apolo$i;e to +essie% A"tert is s e did not t in! t ey co'ld )e "riends anymore% +essie )ein$a)'sed &as a sensiti#e matter and s e ad treated it li!e mornin$$ossip and aired it o't in t e open% No& s e &as e#en a &orse "riendt an s e ad acc'sed +essie o" )ein$% S e ad committed & at &asone o" t e 'n"or$i#a)les in t e "riends ip code o" cond'ct re#ealin$intimate and sensiti#e secrets to p')lic%

-6 -


40/198

+essie did not ret'rn to class and t is &orried er% +ac!ie and Stacy&ere e5'ally cl'eless as to er & erea)o'ts% T ey too ad $oneloo!in$ "or er )'t ad not "o'nd er% It too! an eternity "or t e )ellto rin$ as t ey &ere "eelin$ an*io'sly impatient% 3 en it "inally &ent

o"" s e r's ed to $ra) er )a$ and ran o't o" t e class room )e"oret ey &ere e#en dismissed% S e )'mped into +oel in t e corridor andas!ed im i" e ad seen +essie%

0Yea . I sa& er earlier on% S e loo!ed 5'ite )eat 'p a)o't somet in$and said somet in$ a)o't an old a)andoned ca)in7

His &ords "ell on dea" ears "or s e ad already r'n o""% +essie ad $oneto er little serene lair and s e needed to $o "ind er and apolo$i;e%

S e ran all t e &ay "allin$ t&ice in t e process% 9y t e time s ereac ed t ere s e co'ld )arely )reat e )'t it &as not in$ comparedto t e orror s e "o'nd inside% Her room &as r'ined. e#eryt in$ &as amess% T e c's ions &ere t ro&n aro'nd t e room loo!in$ dirty. t ey

ad )een trampled o#er% T e candles lay )ro!en on t e "loor and&ater "rom t e )ro!en ,ar soa!ed e#eryt in$ in its pat % Tears &elled'p in er eyes and s e sat do&n &it a drop and &ept% T e e""ort s e

ad p't in t e room and e#eryt in$ it meant to er ad )een

destroyed )y +essie% Ho& co'ld s e do s'c a t in$ a#in$ !no&n o&important it &as to er and t e sentimental #al'e it eld2

E#ery )it o" stren$t in er )ody &as drained a&ay and s e )ecameelpless% Slo&ly s e lay do&n on t e dirty. damp "loor and contin'ed

to &eep% S e lay t ere "eelin$ )lan!% S e did not !no& "or o& lon$s e lay t ere and did not care% T en s e eard t en smoot so'nd o" acar s en$ine p'll 'p o'tside t e ca)in )'t s e did not "linc % 3 oe#erit &as s e did not care%

0(atrinaJ

S e did not mo#e. t e tears contin'ed to "all "rom er eyes% ?ars als5'atted ne*t to er and s oo! er $ently% S e loo!ed 'p at im andt en & ispered. 0it s r'ined%


41/198

-6B-

03 at appened2

He elped er sit 'p strai$ t and s e e*plained to im t e "i$ t &it+essie and o& s e ad "o'nd er "ortress in s'c a state o" disaster%S e &as pretty con#inced it &as er & o ad done t is )eca'se apart"rom im s e &as t e only person & o !ne& a)o't t e place% Hecom"orted er and li"ted er o"" t e $ro'nd% He carried er to is carand laid er in t e )ac! seat% He &ent )ac! inside to collect er )a$%9ac! in t e car e tried to console er as e dro#e er ome% It &asalready dar! o'tside and e dreaded to t in! & at &o'ld a#e

appened to er i" e ad not s o&ed 'p%

It &as not sa"e "or er to )e at t at ca)in alone a"ter dar!% He adtried to call er a"ter e ad "inis ed sc ool )'t s e &as not pic!in$'p% A"ter many "r'itless attempts to $et in to'c &it er e ad $oneto loo! "or er at t e co'rts )'t t e $'ys t ere ad told im s e adnot come t ere% He $'essed s e &as at er ideo't and e &as inl'c!% He some o& co'ld not elp )'t "eel an$ry &it +essie "or doin$s'c a cr'el deed% (no&in$ o& m'c it meant to er. e &ondered& at mi$ t )e $oin$ t ro'$ er ead in t at partic'lar moment%

+essie ad done a $od ,o) o" destroyin$ t e place )'t it &as notanyt in$ t at co'ld not )e "i*ed% T e ,'st needed to )e cleaned 'pand a ne& ,'$ and some candles% T e c's ions co'ld )e easily drycleaned and "lo&ers &ere not a pro)lem% He loo!ed at er t ro'$ t emirror and s oo! is ead% S e m'st )e "eelin$ terri)le and 'rt. et o'$ t to imsel"%

He dro#e into er and p'lled 'p in "ront o" er o'se% He elped ero't t e car and &al!ed er 'p to t e door% T ey ad not said a &ordsince lea#in$ t e ca)in% Someone loo!ed o't t ro'$ t e &indo& andt e door opened% A yo'n$ man & o co'ld not )e "i#e years older t an

er stood at t e door%

03 at did yo' do to er2 . e demanded menacin$ly%


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-6 -

0Lea#e im alone T(. s e said. 0do yo' &ant to come in2

0No I s o'ld pro)a)ly $et $oin$ )'t I ll see yo' tomorro&%

S e nodded and &ent inside &it T( "ollo&in$ close )e ind er% Heloo!ed )ac! at t e o'se )e"ore $ettin$ into is car and dri#in$ o""% As

e &as dri#in$ an idea crossed is mind t at &o'ld c eer er 'p% T e"ollo&in$ day e &o'ld $o and p't t e place )ac! to o& it &as)e"ore. t at &o'ld s'rely s'rprise er% O" co'rse e co'ld not do italone and e !ne& t e )est person e co'ld as! elp "rom% He too!o't is cell and dialed a n'm)er%

0Hi. tomorro& I &as &onderin$ i" yo' co'ld elp me &it somet in$a"ter sc ool. e pa'sed "or a & ile to listen. 0s're )'t I s&ear i" yo'

elp me &it t is one I &ill o&e yo' "or t e rest o" my li"e%

T at &as settled. e ad someone to elp im clean t e place o't andp't t in$s )ac! in place% He noticed is "at er s car &as not in & en

e p'lled in and si$ ed in relie"% A con"rontation on & ere e ad)een &as not one e &as in t e mood "or% His mot er &as ome and ass e did eac day. as!ed im o& is day &as% 3it a pec! to t ec ee! e told er it &as "ine% A"ter t at s e &o'ld as! a "e& 5'estionsincl'din$ Claire s &el"are and t en e &o'ld ass're er t at s e &as"ine and e &o'ld r'n 'p to is room i" e &as not 'n$ry and loc! t edoor )e ind im% Tr't )e told e ad not ad time "or Claire t esedays &it "inal e*ams approac in$ and (atrina%

S e ad )een pesterin$ im all &ee! to ta!e er o't "or a nice dinner)'t e &as not at all interested% He dreaded spendin$ t&o o'rs o"

)orin$ con#ersation &it er% Claire lac!ed any action and e*citementand e &as 5'ic!ly o't$ro&in$ er% E#eryt in$ &it er "rom a &al! int e par! to dinner dates &as planned in detail and t is really annoyed

im e &as loo!in$ "or ,'st a int o" imper"ection in er%

?ay)e t at &as & at dre& im to (atrina. er imper"ections% S e adsomet in$ ne& to o""er im e*citement and e*pos're to t e real


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&orld% He admired and adored (atrina & ic co'ld not )e said "orClaire%

-: -

9y )ein$ "riends &it (atrina e &o'ld $et some action into is li"e%Her li"e seemed dan$ero's and adrenaline p'mpin$ and e needed a)it o" t at% To im it ad )ecome a dr'$ e 'sed to escape it all allt e press'res. stress and irritations% One e &as slo&ly $ettin$addicted to% Alt o'$ e ad no intimate "eelin$s "or (atrina. e "eltdra&n to er and protecti#e o" er%

In t e mean time (atrina sat in er room starin$ )lan!ly at t e &all%Not in$ &as on er mind. s e did not &ant to t in! a)o't anyt in$ )eit $ood or )ad% S e eard a !noc! on er door )'t did not ans&er it%

0(ate. let me in. er "at er said "rom o'tside%

04reat. s e )reat ed to ersel" as s e stood 'p to open t e door%

?r R'dd &as a s ort and small man% He entered er room ands'r#eyed it care"'lly% S e &ent )ac! and sat on t e )ed anddemanded. 0& at do yo' &ant2

0I eard yo' &eren t "eelin$ &ell7

S e stood 'p and snapped. 0li!e yo' careJ

0(aty )a)y7

0Dad don tJ Yo' ,'st lea#e and come as yo' please and yo' e*pect meto )elie#e t at yo' care2

0I do%

03ell I don t )elie#e yo'% Please lea#e my room and ne#er pretend tocome in ere and act li!e yo' act'ally care a)o't 's. s e said as s eopened t e door "or im to lea#e%


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?r R'dd &as "i$ tin$ a losin$ )attle ere% E#eryt in$ ad c an$ed e#ersince e ad le"t prison% Once (atrina and e ad )een close. s e ad)een is little $irl% T en e ad $one to prison se#en years a$o and& en e ad

-:1-

come o't s e ad $ro&n into t is )ea'ti"'l yo'n$ &oman & o nolon$er needed im% It seemed to im is "amily ad mo#ed on and addone alri$ t &it o't im% T is made im "eel alienated "rom t em and

e ad started to spend as m'c time a&ay "rom ome as possi)le%3 en e ad )een imprisoned T( &as ,'st $oin$ t ro'$ a p ase o"$ro&in$ "rom a )oy to man and e ad missed o't on t at no& T( ad

$ro&n into t e &ron$ type o" man% His "amily. one t at ad once )eenclose and stood )y eac ot er &as no& estran$ed%

His o&n &i"e resented im "or $oin$ to prison and lea#in$ er to deal&it t&o c ildren t at ad )ecome i$ ly re)ellio's% S e &as #erydistant and t eir marria$e &as on t e )rin! o" destr'ction% T ey nolon$er s ared t e same )ed and & en e &as t ere e slept in T( sroom or on t e co'c % No one really !ne& & ere e &ent or & at edid & en e &as not at ome and e pre"erred it stay t at &ay%

His &i"e loo!ed at im as e entered t e !itc en and t en stood 'p tolea#e t e room% He co'ld see t e 'rt in er eyes and "elt $'ilty o"e#eryt in$ t ey ad )een t ro'$ % It all co'ld a#e )een di""erent i"t ey ,'st stopped to listen to & at e ad to say% I" only t ey )elie#ed

im & en e told t em o& m'c e still cared and lo#ed t em%

@@@@@@

0E*actly & y are &e doin$ t is2 . Dylan as!ed as e 'nloaded t ecleanin$ e5'ipment "rom is tr'c!%

0S e s a special "riend and I d appreciate i" yo' spea! &it a littlerespect. o!ay. e replied%


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0Hey man. I co'ld )e doin$ somet in$ else ri$ t no&% I m doin$ yo' a"a#or ere. so treat t at &it a little respect%

0Alri$ t. I m sorry%

-:/-

T at seemed to s'it Dylan and e &ent inside t e ca)in% He "ollo&edclose )e ind and $ot in ,'st in time to ear Dylan say. 0&o&. someonedid a pretty $ood ,o) in ere% 3 at &as t is place any&ay. asanct'ary2

0(ind o". no& &ill yo' )e alri$ t alone20Yes. $o on% I ll )e "ine. ,'st don t ta!e too lon$% T is place $i#es met e creeps%

3it a pat to t e )ac! ?ars al pic!ed 'p t e )i$ paper )a$ &itc's ions and &ent o't% He &as ta!in$ t em to t e dry cleaners% He $otinto Dylan s tr'c! and dro#e o""% T ey ad 'sed is car )eca'se it &asm'c )i$$er and co'ld accommodate a n'm)er o" e5'ipment% A"tert e dry cleaners e ad to r'n and pic! 'p t e order e ad placed "orcandles% He &anted to "i* t e place as 5'ic!ly as t ey co'ld e#en i" itmeant &or!in$ till late%

9ac! in t e ca)in Dylan stood arms a!im)o &onderin$ & ere to start%He &ondered & y e ad not #ol'nteered to ta!e t e c's ions insteadand le"t ?ars al to $et on is !nees and clean% He started )y pic!in$t e )ro!en ,ar pieces and p't t em into t e plastic paper )in t ey ad)ro'$ t% He ne#er ad to clean a"ter imsel" at ome% T ey ad

&or!ers to do all t e &or!% He &ent on to t e candles t at &erescattered all o#er t e room% Some &ere stamped on s'c t at t eyst'c! to t e "loor and e ad to scrape t em o"" 'sin$ is poc!et!ni"e% 3 oe#er ad done t is ad to so in"'riated. e t o'$ t to

imsel"%


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Once e ad cleared t e "loor o" t e candles. e 'sed a )room tos&eep it% 3or! &as not a )ad t in$ a"ter all. e t o'$ t as lon$ as it&as not in lar$e amo'nts and it &as )ein$ done "or "'n% He "o'nd

imsel" 'mmin$ a t'ne as e s&ept. dancin$ aro'nd as e did%

?ars al came )ac! ,'st as e ad "inis ed moppin$ t e room% He &asimpressed )y t e amo'nt o" &or! Dylan ad mana$ed to complete ins'c a s ort space o" time%

03o&. I see yo' didn t lea#e any &or! "or me. e said ,o!in$ly%

-:6-

0Don t act as i" yo' re not relie#ed I did all o" it alone%

0I )ro'$ t snac!s. e said as e tossed im an ener$y )ar%

Ha ca'$ t it and t ey sat do&n% He ad not reali;ed o& 'n$ry e&as 'ntil e )it into t e )ar% T ey sat 5'ietly. eac en,oyin$ t eir )ar%

0So yo' a#en t told me a)o't t is special "riend o" yo'rs. Dylan"inally said a"ter a lon$ silence%

0S e is a "riend o" mine & o $ot into a )i$ "i$ t &it a "riend o" ersand t e rest I t in! yo' #e $ot "i$'red o't%

0S e s only a "riend. ri$ t2

0C mon. o" co'rse s e is%

04ood )eca'se yo' !no& o& it &o'ld loo! i" yo' &ere c eatin$ on7

0Please don t dra$ Claire into t is. e &arned%

0I mean7

0?an & ose "riend are yo'. ers or mine2

0No need to7I m yo'r "riend%

0So stop actin$ li!e yo' re not. e scratc ed is ead and contin'ed.0loo! Dylan. yo' re my most stal&art "riend and I d ate "or t at to


47/198

c an$e )'t )ear &it me on t is one% S e is ,'st a "riend. I li!e er )'tnot in t at &ay% S e s a nice person. yo' m'st meet er%

03 ate#er yo' say. )'t )e care"'l%

He $a#e a la'$ and said. 0yo' re tellin$ me to )e care"'l as i" I mdoin$ somet in$ &ron$%

0No ?ars al7I didn t mean it li!e t at7yo' !no& & at7

-::-

?ars al "elt li!e is "riend &as oldin$ )ac! on im% He co'ld not elp)'t $et t e "eelin$ t at t ere &as somet in$ Dylan &as not tellin$

im% He did not $i#e it m'c t o'$ t t o'$ it &as t e least o" is&orries%

0Let s ,'st "inis t is t in$. alri$ t2

T ey &or!ed silently "rom t en on&ards only spea!in$ & erenecessary% 9y si* e#eryt in$ &as in place e*cept "or t e c's ions t at

e &as $oin$ to collect t e ne*t day and t e "lo&ers% Apart "rom t ate#eryt in$ &as in precise order and t ey "elt a sense o"accomplis ment% T e silence in t e car &as )ecomin$ a )it tense ast ey dro#e ome )'t neit er made an e""ort to )rea! it% Dylan tapped

is t 'm)s impatiently as e dro#e. e 's'ally did t at & en e &as"eelin$ ed$y% ?ars al did not li!e t e idea o" ma!in$ im "eel so ed$y.a"ter all e ad done im a $reat "a#or &it o't once complainin$%

O'tside ?ars al s o'se Dylan opened is mo't to spea! )'t c an$edis mind% It &o'ld not )e "ittin$ "or it to end t is &ay so Dylan c an$edis mind and decided to say. 0loo! ?ars al. I ll al&ays a#e yo'r )ac!

no matter & at $oes on. yo' re my )oy and I m sorry "or70It s alri$ t I appreciate & at yo' did "or me today% I o&e yo' )i$time. e )ro!e in )e"ore $ettin$ o't o" t e car%

It ad )een a $reat day )'t it ad not ended &ell% 3it e#eryt in$ t at&as $oin$ on e ad "or$ot t at e ad promised (atrina e &o'ld $o


48/198

and see er% It ad )een a )'sy day and e s're did &ant to s'rpriseer% His cell p one ran$ ,'st as e $ot t ro'$ t e "ront door and it

&as Claire%

0Hello Claire%0Pumpkin! Dinner at my house tomorrow at seven, dont be late. Mygrandmother is going to be there and you know how much she likesyou. Please wear that pink shirt I like so much

03 at pin! s irt2

-:


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& en e approac ed% ?ars al p's ed t e )oo! aside and sat on t edes!%

0I need one more "a#or%

Alt o'$ e !ne& & at &as comin$ e said. 0s're%

0I a#e dinner at Claire s so I need yo' to $o and "inis o"" t e ca)inplease% +'st collect t e c's ions and "lo&ers and 'se yo'rima$ination%

Dylan eyed im and said. 0yo' do reali;e t at is as!in$ too m'c . don tyo'2 A"ter all I don t e#en !no& t is "riend o" yo'rs%

0Please%-:>-

0I ll do it ,'st )eca'se I promised to a#e yo'r )ac! pl's I mi$ t needyo' to do me a &eird "a#or someday. )'t it &o'ld )e $ood to p't someo" t at e""ort in doin$ t in$s "or C7and ere s e comes%

Claire &al!ed &it er ead eld i$ )ein$ t e ead $irl% S e ad& at is called a dominatin$ presence and e#eryone stopped to loo!

& en s e entered t e room% O" co'rse s e lo#ed t e attention )'t eated it )eca'se some o" it &o'ld )e directed to im and attention

&as t e last t in$ e needed% S e ad a )i$ smile plasted onto er"ace% He &as "orced to smile )ac! and e stood 'p to $reet er%

03 at are yo' )oys disc'ssin$2

0I can t e#en tal! to my "riend2

0O no p'mp!in7

0Don t call me t at ere. e said in an 'ndertone%

0Sorry. I ,'st &anted to remind yo' not to )e late%

He ,'st $r'nted and s e le"t t e room%


50/198

0Ho& do yo' do it2 . T omas. a )oy in t eir class as!ed%

0Yo' a#e no idea%

T at e#enin$ as e !noc!ed on t e Ericson s "ront door e did not $ett e ner#o's "eelin$ e 's'ally did% He "elt a &arm and com"ortin$ r'spass t ro'$ im% ?ay)e t e e#enin$ &as not $oin$ to )e t at )ada"ter all% Sally ans&ered t e door and let im in% E#eryt in$ &as set toper"ection and a"ter $reetin$s &ere in order t ey sat do&n to eat% T e"ood &as $ood e ad to admit or e &o'ld )e )iased%

0So ?ars al. o& is yo'r "at er% I a#en t seen im lately2 . ?r Ericsonas!ed%

-: -

0He is a #ery )'sy man sir%

0Indeed. e s 5'ite a respecta)le man and I am so $lad some day &eare $oin$ to )e "amily7

04randmot er. Sandy c't er o"". 0 o& does my pie taste2

He passed er a $rate"'l loo! and inside si$ ed in relie"% T e s'),ect

o" marria$e al&ays p't im on ed$e% He &as only nineteen and ad noprospects o" marryin$ any time soon% or im e ad anot er tenyears o" li#in$ t e sin$le li"e and e &as $lad t at &as t e one t in$

is "at er and e a$reed on% His "at er &as "or it )eca'se e &antedim to a#e a sta)le career )e"ore sayin$ I do%

He did not 'nderstand & y e#eryone &as so )eat 'p a)o't Claire andim% His mot er ad a #ariety o" $irls to c oose "rom )'t s e ad to

c oose er to )e is $irl"riend% Any&ay & ic parent c ose a $irl"riend"or t eir se#enteen year old son2 It &as ard to )elie#e t at e adend'red t&o years &it Claire. e#en arder to ima$ine a li"etime%

T e remainder o" t e dinner &ent &ell and t ey made small tal! a)o'tpolitics and ot er topics o" interest% He made is lea#e aro'nd nineo cloc! and Claire &al!ed im to t e car% He )ent do&n and $a#e er a


51/198

5'ic! !iss and ,'mped into is car% S e tapped is &indo& and erolled it do&n%

0Yo' !no& it doesn t a#e to )e li!e t is ?ars al. s e said%

0It &o'ldn t )e i" yo' ad ,'st le"t me alone in t e "irst place. ereplied as e started t e i$nition%

0I m not $oin$ to stop "i$ tin$ "or yo' )eca'se I lo#e yo'%

0S'it yo'rsel" )'t i" I &ere yo' I &o'ld not &aste my time. e repliedplacidly%

03 at do yo' &ant me to do2 S e &as desperate%

-:B-

0+'st $et o"" my )ac! "or starters%

0?ars al. yo'r mom &ill learn o" t is 'naccepta)le and r'de7

0T at is e*actly & at I m tal!in$ a)o't% Stop ma!in$ my mot er "i$ tyo'r losin$ )attles. not e#en s e can ma!e me7ma!e me7

He closed is eyes and leaned a$ainst t e seat% 3 at e &as a)o't to

say &o'ld deeply 'rt er "eelin$s and t at &as t e last t in$ e&anted to do% No one deser#ed to a#e t eir "eelin$s trampled o#er%S e tried )'t e co'ld not see & y s e "ailed to reali;e t ey &ere notc't o't to )e to$et er% He sa& t e desperation in er eyes and "elt)ad% 3 y did e allo& er to ma!e im "eel li!e a monster2

0I lo#e yo' too Claire )'t please. ,'st $et o"" my )ac! "rom time totime%

It &as a & ite lie and e did not &ait "or er to respond% He dro#ea&ay &it mi*ed and con"licted emotions% He no lon$er 'nderstood

o& e "elt "or er% 3as it lo#e e "elt "or Claire or a sense o" d'ty2Did e e#en !no& & at it meant to lo#e2 He loo!ed into is rear #ie&mirror and sa& er standin$ & ere e ad le"t er% Tryin$ to $et ero't o" is mind e called Dylan to ear o& it ad $one%


52/198

Marshal, I am glad to say its done.

04ood. t an! yo' a lot% (atrina is $oin$ to )e !noc!ed o"" er "eet%

&ell whatever. 'ow was the dinner, any drama(

0+'st a little )'t apart "rom t at it &ent &ell%

T ey spo!e "or a co'ple o" min'tes and 'n$ 'p a"ter )iddin$ eacot er $oodni$ t% It &as a pleas're to learn t at Dylan ad completedt e room and it &as ready to s o& to (atrina% He tr'sted e ad donea $ood ,o) t ere &as no reason to $o and c ec! t e place o't% He&o'ld ta!e er t ere tomorro& and e !ne& s e &o'ld )e so pleased%Silently e appla'ded imsel" "or ta!in$ s'c initiati#e and comin$

&it s'c a )rilliant idea%

-: -

(atrina and +essie &o'ld not tal! to eac ot er% (atrina ated +essie"or r'inin$ er most treas'red room and +essie ated er "or )ein$ sot o'$ tless and cr'el% +ac!ie and Stacy tried to tal! to t em )'t itonly made t e sit'ation &orse as t ey &ere told to c oose sides% T eonly reasona)le t in$ t ey co'ld do &as c oose a "riend eac not

)eca'se t ey &anted to )'t t ey so it as t e only sol'tion% +ac!ie&o'ld try to pers'ade (atrina & ile Stacy tried t e same &it +essie%As!ed & y s e &as re"'sin$ to apolo$i;e to +essie. (atrina re"'sed tosay% T is made it t e more di""ic'lt "or t em to elp t eir t&o "riends%

In t e corridor as t ey &ere s&itc in$ classes +essie said to +ac!ie. 0Idon t see & y yo' co'ld ta!e sides &it er% S e is t e one in t e&ron$. and &al!ed a&ay%

Stacy &in!ed at +ac!ie and "ollo&ed close )e ind +essie & o adalready entered t e Science class% +ac!ie ,'st s oo! er ead and&ent in too% T ey sat as "ar a&ay "rom eac ot er as possi)le anda#oided eye contact% T e arran$ement made +ac!ie and Stacy "eela&!&ard )'t t ere &as no ot er &ay%


53/198

(atrina le"t sc ool as soon as t e )ell ran$% ?ars al ad promised tosee er at t e co'rts later on so s e &anted to $o ome and $ra) a5'ic! )ite "irst% Her stomac &as $r'm)lin$ s e &as a)sol'tely"amis ed% T e sc ool &as not a lon$ &al! "rom & ere s e li#ed% It only

too! er a ma*im'm o" t&enty-"i#e min'tes% No one &as t ere & ens e $ot ome & ic s e $reatly appreciated% Her mot er &as at &or!and as "or T( and er "at er s e did not !no& ,'st as s e did not care%S e &as "eelin$ 5'ite ostile no&adays and s e &o'ld so ate to snapat anyone especially er mot er% T ey &ere still er "amily and t eonly solid t in$ s e really ad%

@@@@@@

0C'te 'ni"orm R(. Don called o't%

0T an!s )'t & at does R( stand "or2

-< -

Don )ro!e o't la'$ in$ and ?ars al only ad to $'ess & at it meant% It&as common !no&led$e to im t at t e local !ids ad started to call

im R( meanin$ ric !id% He did not "ind it o""ensi#e e act'ally li!edt e name% It made im "eel li!e a part o" t em% T e nic!name $a#e

im a sense o" )elon$in$%

0T at s #ery "'nny Don%

0Did yo' come to play &it 's2

0O no. I m s'pposed to meet ( ere )'t I t in! I m a little early. ereplied as e loo!ed aro'nd "or er%

0Did s e tell yo'2

0Tell me & at2

0I as!ed er i" s e co'ld tal! to yo' a)o't ,oinin$ o'r team% Yo' re a$ood player ?ars al and &e need someone &it yo'r s!ill% Loo! some


54/198

o" my )oys ere are playin$ "or t eir li#es and i" &e co'ld &in t ist in$7

0Don. I t o'$ t I made it clear I don t play anymore% +'st "or$et it%

Don did not insist. e ad to respect is decision )'t e &as not isteam and t ey co'ld may)e ma!e a li"e "or t emsel#es t ro'$ )all%T e team &as comprised o" some o" t e )est players "rom t enei$ )or ood% Some ad le"t sc ool and ot ers &ere still in i$sc ool% 3innin$ t e pro#incial c'p &o'ld allo& some o" t em access tosc olars ips and some an opport'nity to )e si$ned 'p% To t em t eteam &as li!e a second "amily and t eir &orld%

0I" yo' do decide to c an$e yo'r mind $i#e me a call. Don said as e&rote do&n is n'm)er and anded it to im%

0S're. e said as e st'died t e n'm)er on t e small piece o" paper.0)'t I don t t in! it s $oin$ to )e anytime soon%

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55/198

& at met t e eye and t at &as & at e &anted to pinpoint% He&atc ed t em $et into t e car and dri#e o"" and e res'med playin$%

In t e car (atrina )e$$ed im to tell er & at !ind o" s'rprise e ad

in store "or er% ?ars al ,'st smiled to imsel" en,oyin$ t e so'nd o"er play"'l pleads% A loo! o" &orry crossed er "ace & en s e "inallyreali;ed t e direction in & ic t ey &ere eaded% Seein$ er &orry eass'red er t ere &as a)sol'tely not in$ to &orry a)o't% S e decidedto tr'st im and an*io'sly end'red t e ride%

(atrina &as completely !noc!ed o"" er "eet & en t ey entered t eca)in and so &as e% Dylan ad really made 'se o" is ima$ination andt e room loo!ed )etter t an )e"ore% Dylan ad added more "lo&ers

and t e c's ions &ere arran$ed in a delicate manner% He silently)reat ed a t an! yo' to Dylan alt o'$ e &as not present% T e si$ t&as )reat ta!in$ and s e &as totally o#er& elmed% S e t'rned to "ace

im. er "ace creasin$ into a )i$ smile% T is deser#ed a #ery )i$ '$and s e $a#e im one%

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56/198

0It s e#en )etter t an )e"ore% I am totally in lo#e &it t e ne& loo!and t ose "lo&ers. a)sol'tely ra#is in$%

3ell t e e*tra "lo&ers &ere Dylan s )'t e "o'nd no point in

mentionin$ t at e did not &ant to r'in t e moment and t e praisee &as recei#in$%

0Ho& did yo' !no& I li!ed carnations2

0A . I ,'st too! a c ance%

He &as s'rely $rate"'l "or Dylan s initiati#e to )'y t e carnations%T ey &ere scorin$ im )i$ mar!s% S e closed er eyes and )reat edin. t e scent &as rela*in$ and s e lay )ac!% S e "elt so com"orta)le

s e ,'st &anted to remain li!e t at "or eternity% He "ollo&ed s'it andstared at t e roo" &it a $oo"y $rin etc ed on is "ace% T eatmosp ere &as so calm and silent 'ntil er cell p one ran$ )rea!in$t e silence in t e room% S e loo!ed at t e caller and esitated%

0Are yo' $oin$ to ans&am

a place called serenity

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