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TRANSCRIPT
A SECRET PLACE
B y G e f f M o y e r & J o h n L a l l i s
Copyright © MMXIV by Geff Moyer & John Lallis All Rights Reserved
Heuer Publishing LLC, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
ISBN: 978-1-61588-306-6
Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that this work is subject to a royalty. Royalty must be paid every time a play is performed whether or not it is presented for profit and whether or not admission is charged. A play is performed any time it is acted before an audience. All rights to this work of any kind including but not limited to professional and amateur stage performing rights are controlled exclusively by Heuer Publishing LLC. Inquiries concerning rights should be addressed to Heuer Publishing LLC. This work is fully protected by copyright. No part of this work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without permission of the publisher. Copying (by any means) or performing a copyrighted work without permission constitutes an infringement of copyright. All organizations receiving permission to produce this work agree to give the author(s) credit in any and all advertisement and publicity relating to the production. The author(s) billing must appear below the title and be at least 50% as large as the title of the Work. All programs, advertisements, and other printed material distributed or published in connection with production of the work must include the following notice: Produced by special arrangement with Heuer Publishing LLC of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. There shall be no deletions, alterations, or changes of any kind made to the work, including the changing of character gender, the cutting of dialogue, or the alteration of objectionable language unless directly authorized by the publisher or otherwise allowed in the work’s Production Notes. The title of the play shall not be altered. The right of performance is not transferable and is strictly forbidden in cases where scripts are borrowed or purchased second-hand from a third party. All rights, including but not limited to professional and amateur stage performing, recitation, lecturing, public reading, television, radio, motion picture, video or sound taping, internet streaming or other forms of broadcast as technology progresses, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved. C O P Y I N G O R R E P R O D U C I N G A L L OR A N Y P A R T O F T H I S B O O K I N A N Y M A NN E R I S S T RIC T L Y F O R B ID D E N B Y L AW . One copy for each speaking role must be purchased for production purposes. Single copies of scripts are sold for personal reading or production consideration only.
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HEUER PUBLISHING LLC P.O. BOX 248 • CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA 52406
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A SECRET PLACE
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A SECRET PLACE By Geff Moyer & John Lallis
SYNOPSIS: Amanda's life is busy with three generations living under one roof. Not only does she have her daughter and two grandchildren there, but she is also caring for her ailing yet cantankerous younger sister, plus contending with the lively ghost of her dead husband. While the two grandchildren - one thirteen, the other eleven - deal with bullies at school, Amanda's artistic daughter tries to make a living by molding, painting, and selling Norman Rockwell figurines online, and deal with the fact that her husband ran out on her and the kids, which she feels makes her the "talk of the small town" they reside in. This family's trials and tribulations during the holidays encompasses an honest and non-traditional look at life and love. Have your audience laughing and crying, but mostly feeling thankful for family during the most wonderful time of the year.
Inspired by the 1981 Emmy Award winning teleplay
The Gift Of Love by Earl Hamner
CAST OF CHARACTERS
(4 female, 3 male) DOROTHY (DOT) (f) ............. 13; tomboy. (186 lines) MICHAEL (m) ......................... 11; brother of DOT. (122 lines) AMANDA (f) ........................... 70; The children’s grandmother. (342 lines) SPENCER (m) ......................... 75; A ghost. The children’s grandfather.
(74 lines) JANET (f) ................................ 41; The children’s mother. (256 lines) MINERVA (MIN) (f) ............... 67; The children’s aunt. (172 lines) WAYNE (m) ............................ 43; Family friend. (42 lines) DURATION: 65-75 minutes TIME: Today, one week before Christmas.
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SETTING Interior of a farmhouse built a decade prior to the Depression. A front doors leads outside. Next to door is a window, maybe two. An archway leads to the kitchen. There is a small second bath and laundry room off the kitchen. A staircase leads up to four bedrooms and a bath. Various photos should hang on the wall next to staircase. At the top of stairs a short hallway leads to an exit. The furniture is somewhat updated, about to the era of the seventies, but still very comfortable and inviting. There should be heavy wood wainscoting and dated wall paper. Furniture should include a sofa, a couple of easy chairs, coffee table, end tables, TV, and a fancy coat rack by the front door. Three nice quilts should be placed about – one on sofa back, other two on easy chairs. A Christmas tree with all its decorations except an angel on top stands in a corner. Presents are under the tree. All action takes place in living room.
PLACE A farm outside a medium-sized New England town. The farm is a scene out of Currier & Ives. Until the latest generation it was a working farm with corn, wheat, and soybeans. The economy has caused several parcels of its land to be sold off for development. A farmhouse, barn, and small chicken coop are still left, but the only animals still around are a few geese, which are usually sold off at Christmas time.
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PROPS
2 school backpacks Hand towels Rubber gloves Several small ceramic
figurines Newspaper I-Pod & earphones Quilt and quilting
needles Mixing bowl and whisk Sheet of paper with a
drawing 5 beer bottles Old dress Beard & woman’s wig Clown wig Clown nose Baggy clown pants
Clown Shoes Strung popcorn and
extra popcorn Box of broken ceramic
figurines Coffee cup 4 blankets Serving tray with cups
of cider Small bottle of rum A rose Bologna sandwich Glass of milk Large covered platter Turkey drumstick Angel decoration for
treetop
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ACT ONE, SCENE 1 TIME: Monday, late afternoon, one week before Christmas AT RISE: DOROTHY and MICHAEL are sneaking into the house. Each has a backpack with school books in it. She has a swollen eye, dirty face, and her coat is ripped at the shoulder. SPENCER is standing at the top of the stairs. He is in his seventies. Just as the children creep over to the base of the stairs, a voice calls from offstage. AMANDA: (Offstage voice. Loud.) Dot, Michael!? That you? DOT: (To MICHAEL.) You answer! (She runs upstairs past SPENCER,
as if he isn’t there.) AMANDA: (Offstage voice. Loud.) That you, guys? MICHAEL: Yes, Oma! AMANDA enters from the kitchen. She is in her seventies, still vital and full of life. She is wiping her hands with a dish towel. AMANDA: Where’s your sister? MICHAEL: Uh, oh, (beat.) she had to poop, real bad. AMANDA: You kids are later than usual. Why? MICHAEL: We loitered. AMANDA: You “loitered?” What’s that mean? MICHAEL: “Loiter: To pass time idly or aimlessly.” AMANDA: I know the definition of loitering, Michael. Just how and
where were you loitering? MICHAEL: At a loitering spot. I have to poop, too. (He runs upstairs,
also passing SPENCER as if he isn’t there.) SPENCER: (Chuckling, descending stairs.) She has another swollen
eye, ripped coat again, too. AMANDA: Third time this winter. SPENCER: Swollen eye or ripped coat? AMANDA: Both! (Loud.) Dot, get your fanny down here! SPENCER: She’s just sticking up for her brother. Don’t forget about
Samantha Crutcher.
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AMANDA: (Grinning.) I cleaned her clock, didn’t I? SPENCER: Knocked out the last two of her baby teeth. AMANDA: Michael’s has to learn to fight his own battles, though. SPENCER: That boy’s smart enough to think himself out of any scuffle.
He’ll figure that out soon enough. AMANDA: Let’s hope it’s soon. I’m tired of stitching up his Dot’s
clothes. (Loud.) Dot, come down here please! Now! SPENCER: She takes after her mother…and her grandmother. SPENCER chuckles and enters kitchen as DOT appears at the top of the staircase. She has a cold washcloth against her right eye. DOT: Yeah? AMANDA: What mother can I expect a call from this time? DOT: Dustin Ray! He is such a little piss ant! AMANDA: Watch your mouth, girly! DOT: He keeps calling Michael “Webster.” He says he’s a
“DICK…shunnary!” He’s the one who better watch his mouth. AMANDA: Come down here! Let me look at that eye. DOT: (Descends stairs.) It’s okay! I’ll live. Unfortunately so will Dustin
Ray. AMANDA: You know how your mother feels about you fighting. DOT: Oh, she’s just worried about what people think. They sit on sofa together. AMANDA looks at DOT’s eye. AMANDA: She worries about you getting hurt. DOT: I’m okay. AMANDA: I take it Dustin’s left handed. DOT: Yeah! How’d you know? AMANDA: Usually it’s your left eye that’s swollen, which comes from
a right handed person throwing a punch. This time you tangled with a lefty.
DOT: He went down hard, Oma. I kicked him in the jewels. AMANDA: (Cleaning DOT’S face.) Now I know we’ll be getting a
phone call. One of these days you’re gonna have to let Michael stand up for himself. Your mother used to do the same thing.
DOT: Mom got into fights?
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AMANDA: All of ‘em at about the same age as you, and all of ‘em protecting her little brother.
DOT: Uncle Darrin? AMANDA: He was little, too, like Michael. Kids would pick on him and
your mother wouldn’t stand for it. Must be something about being thirteen.
DOT: Will Uncle Darrin be home for Christmas? AMANDA: No! The Navy’s still got his submarine under some ocean
somewhere. DOT: Again!? AMANDA: Don’t change the subject, girly! Michael’s got to… DOT: Oma, Michael doesn’t know the first thing about fighting. AMANDA: From the swollen eyes you keep coming home with, neither
do you. (She rises.) Stand up! DOT: Huh!? AMANDA: Stand up! (DOT rises.) Put up your dukes! DOT: My “dukes?” AMANDA: (Taking a fighter’s stance.) Yeah, mother thumb and her
four daughters, your dukes! Get ‘em up! SPENCER stands in the kitchen doorway, watching and grinning.
I’m gonna throw a left at you so you show me how to block it. She does and DOT clumsily throws up her arm and is off balance. DOT: Like that? AMANDA: Sort of, but you lost your balance. Feet and arms always
have to move together. (She dances around DOT tossing several shadow punches. She does know what she is doing.)
DOT: (Impressed.) Where’d you learn that? AMANDA: Your Opa. We used to spar a lot, until I started beating him. SPENCER: HA! Never happened! DOT: Was Opa a good boxer? AMANDA: Pretty good. He boxed in the Army. SPENCER: “Pretty good!?” I was undefeated in our battalion.
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AMANDA: (Raises her hands to spar again and brushes DOT’S forehead.) Come on, you try it! Let’s see if anything sunk in that hard noodle (She baps DOT in the head.).
DOT: HEY! As THEY begin to spar again, laughing and jumping, JANET enters from the kitchen. She also passes SPENCER as if he isn’t there. She wears a sculpture’s smock and has clay and powder on it and her face. She wears rubber gloves and carries a small figurine. JANET: Oh, way to reinforce the negative, Mother. AMANDA: I’m tired of stitching up her clothes, so I’m teaching her a
few moves your dad taught me. (Looking at item in JANET’S hand.) That the newest one?
JANET: Rosie the Riveter. Already got a dozen online orders for it. (To DOT.) What happened this time, young lady?
DOT: Dustin Ray again. SPENCER: (To AMANDA.) Teach her the uppercut; take out some of
the brat’s teeth and maybe he won’t run his mouth so much. (AMANDA glances at SPENCER and grins.)
JANET: Dot, I know you feel like you have to protect your little brother, but one of these days…
DOT: Yeah, yeah, Mom, I know! He’s gotta stand up for himself. He will when he’s ready, but right now, well, I can’t just let that piss ant Dustin Ray pick…
AMANDA: Hey! DOT: …that CREEP Dustin Ray pick on him like that. JANET: Where is he? DOT: Upstairs! JANET: Reading the dictionary? DOT: Duh! JANET: Go make sure he does his homework! DOT: (Heading for the stairs.) Okay. JANET: (Yelling to DOT.) And do yours! DOT: (Yelling Back to JANET.) Yeah, yeah! JANET: (Yelling to DOT.) and no more fights… DOT: (Yelling Back to JANET.) okay, okay… JANET: I swear, this town’s going to think I raised a couple of…
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AMANDA: (Gestures to the figurine.) Can I see that? JANET: You’re not helping, you know? (Hands figurine to AMANDA.)
This has got to stop! AMANDA: (Studying figurine.) Wow! Norman Rockwell would be
proud, Janet. JANET: Did you hear me? AMANDA: (Imitating DOT.) Yeah, yeah! Go get cleaned up for dinner!
Aunt Min will be home soon expecting it to be ready. (She starts for kitchen. SPENCER is still watching.)
JANET: What would Dad think of you teaching his granddaughter to box?
AMANDA: He’d probably help. SPENCER: Damn straight I would. JANET: I don’t like it, mother! AMANDA: (Entering kitchen, Spencer follows her.) Okay, okay. JANET crosses to kitchen archway, leans and speaks to AMANDA who is offstage. JANET: I know it’s your house, but they are my kids. AMANDA: I got the message, dear, loud and clear. JANET: (A moment.) It’ll be a year tomorrow. AMANDA: (Offstage.) I know. JANET: Are you sick of us yet? AMANDA: (Offstage.) Not in the least. JANET: What about aunt min? AUNT MIN has just entered the front door. She is in her late sixties but appears older than her sister Amanda. She is a more serious woman than her sister, and a bit on the cranky side. She carries a newspaper. MIN: What about Aunt Min? (She takes off her winter coat and hangs
it on brass coat rack.) It’s colder than a well digger’s butt in January out there. Now, what about Aunt Min?
JANET: I was just reminding Mom that the kids and I will have been here a year tomorrow.
MIN: (Starts crossing to easy chair.) Humph! Don’t I know it! (Yelling to AMANDA.) What’s for dinner, Mandy?
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AMANDA: (Offstage.) Beef stew! And don’t call me Mandy! MIN: Did you put in oregano? AMANDA: (Offstage.) Yes, Min! MIN: Did you cut up… AMANDA and MIN: …the potatoes real small? AMANDA: (Offstage.) YES, MIN! MIN: (To JANET.) She never does. Says she does, but never does.
Big potatoes in stew soak up too much of the juices, makes ‘em too soggy. (Sees figurine.) That a new one?
JANET: Yes! Like it? MIN: (Handling figurine.) Rosie the Riveter. Good choice. Back when
women were women. JANET: What are we now? MIN: Sculptors! (Hands figurine back to JANET.) JANET: Got a dozen orders for it already, and another dozen for the
sailor with the tattoo. MIN: I suppose they all want ‘em before Christmas? JANET: Of course. MIN: You gonna be able to do that…in just a week? JANET: The molds are all done, so getting that part finished is simple.
It’s the hand painting that takes the most time. MIN: Have your boy help you. I’ve seen some of the things he’s drawn
and… JANET: No! These have to be perfect. I have to do them. MIN: So are you finally making some money from them? JANET: Norman Rockwell characters seem to be popular. Guess he’ll
always be popular, regardless of people’s feelings towards Americana.
MIN: (Repeating.) So you’re finally making some money? JANET: Some! Hopefully it’ll be more soon. MIN: Good! Them kids need a place of their own. A brother and sister
shouldn’t share the same bedroom. It ain’t proper. And I need some peace and quiet. (Sits in easy chair and snaps open her paper.)
JANET: I told you, Min, if they bother you, tell me. I’ll keep them out of your hair. And you know as well as I they are not that loud.
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Suddenly MICHAEL comes running down the stairs laughing, DOT is in hot pursuit, screaming at him. He carries a sheet of paper. SPENCER enters and watches action with a smile. DOT: (Loudly.) Gimme that, ya little toadstool! Mom, he drew another
stupid picture of me again! As MICHAEL runs past JANET she snatches the paper out of his hand and gives it to DOT. JANET: Go in the kitchen and help Oma with dinner! DOT: Hamster Butt! MICHAEL: Bandicoot! DOT: What’s that!? MICHAEL: “Bandicoot: a very large rat of india.” (Laughing.) That’s
what I drew. DOT: (She rips up drawing. Loudly.) Now I’m gonna rip out your
tongue! The CHILDREN run in to the kitchen. Again, they do not acknowledge SPENCER. JANET: (To MIN.) Okay, sometimes they’re loud. But from the stories
dad told me you and mom weren’t the quietest of siblings either. SPENCER: Holy Moses, they still aren’t. MIN: Oh, your poppa was one of the biggest liars in town. SPENCER: (Crossing to stairs.) And you had the biggest mouth.
(Begins ascending stairs.) JANET: (She sits on sofa arm.) How was work today? MIN: Working behind a Wal-Mart return desk is like being the straw
dummy on a bayonet course. That’s how work was. JANET: Just trying to make conversation, Min. SPENCER: Good luck with that. (He exits.) MIN: (Looking at JANET. Yelling to AMANDA.) Mandy, come in here
and teach your daughter the proper way to sit on a sofa! JANET sighs, rolls her eyes, and then slides off arm onto sofa.
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AMANDA: (Offstage.) WHAT? JANET: (Yelling to AMANDA.) Nothing, Mother. Aunt min’s just being
Aunt Min. AMANDA: (Offstage.) Play nice, you two! JANET: I know us being here has been a pain for you and I’m sorry.
We had no other choice. When Neil left we were… MIN: Stop making it sound so…so congenial. He ran off…like a scared
rabbit…cowardly thing to do. JANET: It wasn’t all his fault. I convinced him to come here in the first
place and open the shop. When it started failing he was trapped here… no options. In New York he could’ve found a job just like that. People fail everyday there, but have the chance to start again. Here…here…nothing! No alternatives! No second chances! I know he should’ve handled it better, but we were going through hell then and…
MIN: Everybody goes through hell now and then. Only cowards run from it. He failed at his business. Instead of gettin’ a backbone and trying again he skedaddled - left you and them kids high and dry.
JANET: I’m just as much a failure as he is. MIN: Ya didn’t run off though, did ya? MICHAEL: (Running in from kitchen.) Mom, can I go to the movie on
Christmas Day? MIN snaps the newspaper back up in front of her face. JANET: On Christmas Day!? MICHAEL: (Sits on sofa.) That’s when that new sci-fi movie starts and
I wanna be one of the first to see it. JANET: I don’t know, Mikey. Christmas Day is a time for families to be
together. MICHAEL: Then let’s all go to the movie. MIN: I refuse to spend Christmas Day in a nasty ol’ movie house. MICHAEL: (Sharp.) Then don’t go with us. JANET: Michael! That was not called for. MICHAEL: Can I? JANET: May I! MICHAEL: Yes, you may, Mother! Now, may I? JANET: Does Dot want to go with you?
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MICHAEL: She thinks Sci-Fi’s for nerds. JANET: So who would you go with? MICHAEL: I have three people in mind: me, myself, and I. JANET: Well, let me think about it. We’re still short on cash, you know? MIN: I’ll pay his way. Get him out of my hair for the afternoon. MICHAEL: I’ve never touched your hair. I wouldn’t want to. JANET: (Sharp.) Michael! MIN: (Rises.) Humph! Can’t even read a paper in peace. (She starts
upstairs.) JANET: You apologize to Aunt Min. MICHAEL: (Insincere.) Sorry. MIN: Call me when supper’s ready! JANET: Mean it! MICHAEL: Sorry, Aunt Min. MIN: Humph! (She exits upstairs.) MICHAEL: Why is she so nefarious? JANET: What!? MICHAEL: “Nefarious: Wicked in the extreme.” JANET: Aunt Min is not wicked, Michael. She’s just… just not a real
happy person. MICHAEL: Because she has a ghost after her? JANET: Who told you that? MICHAEL: Dot. She said a ghost haunts Aunt Min every Christmas. JANET: She did, huh? DOT, COME IN HERE! MICHAEL: Great! Now she’s gonna be mad at me, too. JANET: I think she already is. DOT: (Standing in kitchen archway.) Yeah? JANET: Sit down here! DOT: He drew the picture, mom! I didn’t do… JANET: I want to set something straight with you two. Sit down here! DOT: (To MICHAEL.) Hamster butt! MICHAEL: Bandicoot!
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JANET: Enough! Both of you! Now listen to me! DOT sits on sofa with JANET and MICHAEL; JANET glances to make sure MIN isn’t around.
A long time ago your Aunt Min was in love with a fellow in town. He wasn’t…well, how do I put this? He was kind of a…a roustabout.
DOT: A what? MICHAEL: “Roustabout: A deck hand or dock worker.” JANET: Okay, wrong word. He had a bad reputation. Got into a lot of
trouble, drinking, always chasing the girls… DOT: A Player! JANET: That works. His name was Hannibal. MICHAEL: Cool name! Like the Carthaginian general who fought the
Romans. JANET: Uh, if you say so. Well, Aunt Min fell in love with him and as
the story goes, he fell in love with her, too. Min’s parents, your great grandparents, didn’t like it. They felt he wasn’t right for her.
DOT: How would they know that? Just because someone has a bad reputation doesn’t mean they can’t really be in love.
JANET: No. No, it doesn’t. You’re right, but it also doesn’t mean that person will change his ways just because he is in love. Sometimes people are…what they are. Simple as that. Anyway, Min and Hannibal ran off together.
DOT: No way! Aunt Min? MICHAEL: Cool! JANET: But her folks caught them and shipped her off to Portland to
live with relatives for two years. DOT: That’s terrible. Would you ever do that to one of us? JANET: No! Never! But things were different back then. SPENCER is now standing in the kitchen archway. MICHAEL: What does this have to do with a ghost? JANET: I’m getting to that. Someway Hannibal found out where she
was and went after her. He was hopping freight trains to get to Portland. Well, he slipped or something and fell under the train.
MICHAEL: Did it kill him?
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DOT: Duh! JANET: It happened on Christmas Eve. MICHAEL: Oooh, and now his ghost comes back every Christmas Eve
to haunt her. Cool! Can we see it? JANET: No one’s ever seen him, Michael. Well, except for Aunt Min.
She claims she talks to him every Christmas Eve. DOT: Do you believe her? JANET: I don’t believe in ghosts, Dot. I do know that every Christmas
Eve a rose mysteriously appears on the Christmas tree. DOT: I just got the shivers. MICHAEL: I’ll bet Oma puts it there. JANET: She swears she doesn’t. DOT: Do you believe her? JANET: Yeah! I think so. But that doesn’t mean I believe in Min’s
ghost. MICHAEL: You know, ghosts are common at Christmas. JANET: Michael… MICHAEL: Really! In Germany a ghost brought presents to good kids
and a lump of coal to bad ones. In Victorian England a ghost would bring nuts and candy to the good kids, and spank the bad ones with a switch. Good thing we’re not in Victorian England or Dot would have one sore butt.
DOT: Oh, Michael, you’re so funny. Not. So you don’t think this Hannibal’s ghost is real?
JANET: I think something happens on Christmas Eve that none of us can explain, and as long as it makes Aunt Min happy, then fine.
MICHAEL: And all of the rest of the year she’s just nefarious. DOT: What’s that? MICHAEL: “Nefarious: Wicked…” JANET: Difficult to get along with. SPENCER: I got a better word. (HE returns to the kitchen.) DOT: Like that piss ant Dustin Ray. JANET: That’s another thing, young lady, and with that mouth I use
the term loosely, this fighting has to stop. This is a small town. People talk. Think of the reputation you’re getting.
DOT: I don’t care what people think. JANET: I do! We have to live here, Dot.
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DOT: I won’t let that creep keep picking on Michael. Oma said you did the same thing – stuck up for your brother.
AMANDA: (Offstage.) Supper’s ready! DOT: Did you? JANET: We’ll talk about that later. Michael, go tell Aunt Min supper’s
ready! MICHAEL: Me!? Why me!? JANET: Cause your mouth sent her upstairs in the first place. MICHAEL groans, rises and crosses to stairs. DOT: How much later? Next year? JANET: (Musing DOT’S hair.) Attitude, Dorothy! Attitude! DOT: Urrrg! Don’t call me Dorothy! JANET and DOT rise and cross to kitchen archway. MICHAEL: (Halfway up the stairs. Calling to MIN.) AUNT MIN,
SUPPER’S READY. JANET: (To MICHAEL.) I’ve could’ve done that. DOT: Oh, so it was okay for you but not for me. Real fair, mother. JANET: That’s life! Deal with it! MICHAEL: Can I play with Brunhilda after supper? JANET: Homework first! I tell you, that goose is going to peck you
good one of these days. MICHAEL: Nah! She likes me too much. JANET: Stay off the pond! The ice may not be safe. DOT: You know, having a ghost is cool, mom, but also kinda spooky. MICHAEL: ‘Cause you’re an invertebrate. DOT: A what!? MICHAEL: “Invertebrate: lacking a backbone.” (MICHAEL laughs and
runs into kitchen.) DOT: (Chasing MICHAEL. Loudly.) I’m gonna break your backbone,
you little terd!! JANET: (Yelling.) Stop Yelling! (She enters kitchen.) MIN: (At top of stairs.) No, they’re not loud. BLACK OUT
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ACT ONE, SCENE 2 TIME: Monday evening AT RISE: AMANDA is on sofa working on a large quilt. SPENCER is in his easy chair. DOT is on her stomach on the floor with earphones. She moves to the music SPENCER: How many quilts have you made since I left? AMANDA: (Glances at DOT, sees she is absorbed in music, then
whispers her answer.) Four. SPENCER: You don’t have to whisper. She can’t hear you. AMANDA: She’d probably think I’m crazier than I am if she heard me
talking to no one. SPENCER: I am not “no one!?” AMANDA: You know what I mean, you old jackass! SPENCER: Wonder what she’s listening to. Kinda like to hear it. AMANDA: No, you wouldn’t! Sounds like a chicken coop with a fox in
it. SPENCER: Not Heartbreak Hotel, huh? AMANDA: She probably doesn’t even know who Elvis is. SPENCER: What are you gonna do with that quilt? AMANDA: If I finish it this week I’m giving it to Doc Graham’s wife.
He’s been real patient with us paying for Min’s visits. SPENCER: How many have you made over the years? AMANDA: Ten SPENCER: You oughta sell some, make a little extra money. AMANDA: I don’t need to. Your social security and the trust you set
up is plenty. SPENCER: (Rising.) That stinkin’ trust! AMANDA: Stop it! You didn’t know what the land was going to be used
for.
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SPENCER: (He paces a little around room, stepping right over DOT, who doesn’t even notice him.) It’s about killed this town, Amanda, including our own daughter’s dream. Holy Moses, my grandpa, gramps, and papa are probably sittin’ up their loadin’ their rifles praying to get the first shot at me.
AMANDA: I wouldn’t worry about your papa; I’m a better shot than he was. Besides, he had already started selling off the land before he died.
SPENCER: Not like I did. Shame on me, Mandy! Shame on me! AMANDA: Spencer, ghosts can’t feel guilt. And don’t call me Mandy. SPENCER: Hey, I’m the one who’s dead. I know what I can feel. When
I think about the state of our old downtown I feel pretty damn crappy. And there’s not a thing I can do about it. The world is going to hell, Mandy. Sorry, Amanda.
AMANDA: It’s called progress, Spencer. SPENCER: At whose expense? AMANDA: (A moment as she watches SPENCER pace.) I wish I could
hug you right now. SPENCER: (Stops his pacing and gazes longingly at her. He starts to
touch her shoulder but knows he can’t.) So do I, Mandy. AMANDA: (Goes back to quilting.) Don’t call me that! SPENCER: (Grinning and leaning on back of sofa near AMANDA.) But
I love that fire in your eyes when I do. AMANDA: And if we could box I’d show you some real fire. DOT suddenly whips off her earphones, jumps up and hurries to AMANDA. SPENCER retreats to a corner. DOT: Oma, listen to this song! DOT forces the earphones on AMANDA then pushes a button on her player. It is very loud and AMANDA yanks the earphones off. AMANDA: Good lord, child! You tryin’ to blow my brains out!? DOT: That’s the best way to listen. SPENCER: What was the song? AMANDA: I can’t even tell what the music’s doing with it that loud.
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DOT: Yeah, yeah, I’ll turn it down. (She turns down volume and AMANDA slips earphones back on and listens.)
AMANDA: (Listening. Loudly.) Well, it isn’t the king. DOT: (Loudly.) Who? AMANDA gives SPENCER an “I told you so” expression. JANET enters from kitchen. She is covered in even more sculptor debris. Exhausted, she plops down in a chair. JANET: Whew! Got four more Rosies finished. My fingers are numb.
(To DOT.) What’s she listening to? DOT: It’s a new group, from Australia. They are so hot. AMANDA: (Removes earphones.) Sorry, Dot! I can’t understand a
word they’re saying. Are they foreign? DOT: No! They’re Australian! JANET: Your homework done? DOT: Yep! JANET: Make sure everything is caught up! You don’t want to go into
Christmas break with stuff unfinished. DOT: Tell that to Michael! JANET: I will. Now hit the sack! DOT: (Kissing both women.) Night, Oma. Night, mom. (Running
upstairs. Loudly.) See ya in the am! AMANDA: Quietly, please! Min’s sleeping. (To JANET.) You need a
shower. JANET: (Rises.) No kidding!? (Crossing to kitchen archway.) First I’m
going to relax with a beer. Want one? (She exits.) AMANDA: No thanks. SPENCER: Holy Moses, woman, have a beer with our daughter, ya
ol’ prude! AMANDA: Okay, I’ll have one. (Sticks her tongue out at SPENCER.) SPENCER: Atta girl. (He exits.) JANET: (Offstage.) Who’s the quilt for? AMANDA: I don’t know. If I get it done before Christmas I’ll give it to
someone. JANET: (Returns with two beers, gives one to AMANDA.) Why don’t
you try selling some of your quilts? I could advertise them online and…
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AMANDA: I don’t like selling what I make. Too much love put in ‘em. JANET: You trying to make me feel bad!? AMANDA: Huh? Oh, no, no, no. I didn’t mean anything like that. You
do what you do for a living. I do what I do for fun – makes me feel good. Keeps me from thinking about things I don’t want to think about. Don’t be so defensive! I thought you outgrew that.
JANET: I worked in advertising too long. It does that to you. AMANDA: New York does that to you. JANET: If I wouldn’t have gone I’d have never met Neil. Not that that’s
worth much now. AMANDA: You got two great kids out of it. At least you finally wised
up and left that rat race. JANET: After awhile you get used to it. Six figures help, of course. AMANDA: You were livin’ well. JANET: Expenses ate most of it up - especially private school. On the
positive side though, my daughter wasn’t coming home with bloody noses and Michael’s mind was certainly more appreciated.
AMANDA: You grew up here, dear. You know what small towns are like.
JANET: Small town, small minds. It’s tough, mom, to bring kids into this world and not be able to make things right for them.
AMANDA: You’re a fine mother, Janet. JANET: I can’t even give them a home. AMANDA: Right now their home is here. Right now that’s enough for
them. And they have you. That’s what they need most. JANET: I’ve wondered how things would have been if we’d have
stayed there, in New York. I’d be a creative director by now. Neil might’ve been head of accounts.
AMANDA: (Trying to keep JANET from going into another funk.) And Michael wouldn’t have a pet goose. Have you seen the picture he drew of her? It’s really quite good. I think that boy has some of your talents.
JANET: Oh, I swear! I’m dreading the day he’s covered in lice from that nasty bird.
AMANDA: Brunhilda is not a nasty bird. I’m just worried about what’s going to happen when he finds out she’s our Christmas dinner.
JANET: We could always get a turkey.
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AMANDA: Shame on you! We will not break our tradition. Your father started raising those geese and selling them when you were just five. We’ve had one for every Christmas dinner since. Besides, they’re tastier than turkey.
JANET: That they are. (They clink their beer bottles and drink. A moment.) He said we were too old fashioned.
AMANDA: Huh? Who? JANET: Neil! At first he loved the idea – capturing and recreating rural
America in art before it disappeared. Pipe dream! People didn’t seem to give a damn about rural America. He said that was why our shop folded. We were too old fashioned. Everything we sold was passé. “The bulldozer’s coming and this way of life is going under it!” he’d tell me. Then they put in that Wal-Mart. I’d dream about that bulldozer pushing down our house and me and the kids running out the back door to keep from being crushed in the wreckage.
AMANDA: Where was Neil? JANET: Huh? AMANDA: You said you and the kids were running out of the house;
where was Neil in your dream? JANET: I don’t know. (Chuckles.) Maybe driving the bulldozer! He’s a
lousy driver. Everything became money, money, money. We were so used to having it, and never realized how much we’d miss it. I’d suggest we buy some ad space and do some special sales, or create a web page and advertise on line and he’d say we don’t have the money to do it and “No one wants this crap anyway.” He just…just gave up…on everything.
AMANDA: (Still trying to get JANET out of her funk.) Speaking of money, I have a little put aside and was thinking about renting a horse and sleigh on Christmas Eve, like your dad used to.
JANET: Oh, mom, the kids would love that, especially Michael. He’s asked me about that every year since we moved back here. He remembers when he was little and we’d come to visit and Opa would pull that horse drawn sleigh up in front of the house – he’d get so excited. Never seen a kid who loves animals the way he does. That’s what made it easier for him to move here – the thought of being around animals. Now Dot…Dot was a harder sell.
AMANDA: How well I remember.
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JANET: Oh my god, she hated Neil and me for months - took her away from her friends and the big city. You’d think it was Armageddon. Took a good year for her to finally accept it, to like us again. But even after three years back here, I don’t think she’s completely sold. I think the fights are her way of still rebelling, you know what I mean?
AMANDA: You mean like her mother used to do? Maybe they’re just part of being thirteen.
JANET: I hope so. AMANDA: So you like my idea – of the sleigh ride? JANET: Absolutely! I just wish I could help you pay for it. AMANDA: I’ve got it covered. JANET: (Smiling.) I remember you’d drop off Darrin and me and then
you and dad would ride off to your “Secret place.” Where was that again?
AMANDA: Nice try! But I’m still not gonna tell you. It’s a secret. JANET: One of these days I’ll find out. AMANDA: No you won’t. It’s our secret place. You have to find your
own. JANET: I thought I had. I really did. AMANDA: If Neil showed up on our doorstep right this minute what
would you do? JANET: Kick him square in his business! (The women laugh.) AMANDA: Merry Christmas, Neil. WHAM! (They laugh louder. The
laughter subsides.) JANET: Truthfully, I don’t know what I’d do. Guess it would depend on
what he said to me…what reason he gave. I just…just never imagined him being capable of leaving like that, leaving the kids…leaving me.
AMANDA: Some people are stronger than others. Fortunately you’re one of them, but that still didn’t keep me from being scared to death the day you left for New York.
JANET: You called me every night for the first year. AMANDA: But you did it. You said you wanted to be a “big Madison
Avenue advertising artist” and you did it…in just ten years, too. Then gave it all up to come back here and open that shop.
JANET: No accounting for stupidity, huh?
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AMANDA: No accounting for being gutsy! You’re a survivor, Janet, and right now, you’re everything those kids need. You’re their strength.
JANET: Who’s mine, mom? AMANDA: Honey, you’ve never needed anyone’s. JANET: I hate failing, mom. I really hate it. AMANDA: When I was catching for Min in that fast pitch league, my
gosh, if we lost a game I’d mope in my room for days. I’d pound my head tryin’ to figure out what I could’ve done to not lose that game. Min would just let it slide off and move on…go out and party somewhere. Whether you like it or not, Janet, you’re like me! You hate losing. You blame and hate yourself for things that are out of your control, honey. Don’t let that happen now. Not now! Those kids need you at your best.
JANET: How have you done it the past six years, mom, since dad died? Where do you get your strength? And don’t give me that “Your father’s ghost” crap!
AMANDA: Quilting! JANET: Oh, come on! That’s a diversion. AMANDA: Sometimes I get it in our Secret Place. JANET: You still go there? AMANDA: Of course I still go there. JANET: Alone? AMANDA: I’m never alone in our Secret Place. JANET: Here we go! (Taunting.) So why won’t you tell me where it is,
mother, so I can go there and talk to “daddy’s ghost,” too? AMANDA: Because it’s mine, and Spencer’s! Like I said, you have to
find your own. JANET: What if I never do? MIN: (Standing at top of stairs in nightgown.) Some of us are trying to
sleep. AMANDA: Oh, quit gripping and come down and have a beer with us! MIN: Why the hell not? (She descends stairs.) JANET: (Rises and exits to kitchen.) I’ll get it. AMANDA: You probably weren’t asleep anyway. MIN: How do you know what I was or wasn’t? Who’s the quilt for? AMANDA: Doc Graham’s wife. MIN: In exchange for my bills?
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AMANDA: In exchange for being nice. MIN: (Nods her head towards kitchen.) Does she know? AMANDA: Not unless you’ve told her. I did tell Darrin in my last letter
to him. I thought maybe the Navy would let him come home this Christmas.
MIN: See the ol’ aunt before she croaks, huh? AMANDA: I hate it when you talk like that. JANET: (Enters carrying three fresh beers.) These are the last of
them. I’ll pick up some more tomorrow. (She gives each woman a beer.)
AMANDA: I haven’t finished the first one yet. JANET: Get busy! (JANET guzzles the remainder of her first beer and
belches.) Top that, mother dear! AMANDA: Shoot! Call that a belch? (She guzzles the rest of her first
beer and lets out a belch.) Your turn, Min! MIN: Ladies do not belch. JANET: Mother, your sister just indirectly called us trollops. AMANDA: Consider the source, dear! (Shakes her head.) Whew! Not
only have I not had a beer in months, I don’t think I’ve downed one like that since my wedding night.
MIN: You downed more than beer on your wedding night. Red wine, Scotch, Schnapps…
JANET: Mother!! Really!? AMANDA: I was scared. JANET: Of what? MIN: Don’t you know? AMANDA: Minerva, don’t get nasty! MIN: She wasn’t…how can I put this…experienced. AMANDA: Back then who was, besides you, ya hussy? MIN: At least I would’ve tried on the shoe before I wore it. AMANDA: And you’d have a closetful of shoes by now. MIN: Wear a different pair every day of the week. The sisters laugh. JANET: I don’t think I want to hear what I’m hearing. (Crossing to
stairs.) I’m gonna take a shower and go to bed. Good night, you horny ol’ hens. (Ascends stairs and exits.)
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AMANDA and MIN: Night, dear. Night, Janet. MIN: (A moment as she glances around the room.) Is he here? AMANDA: No! Not right now. Are you anxious for Christmas Eve? MIN: You have yours around any time you want; I have mine once a
year. Of course I’m anxious. At least I’ve got some good news for him this year.
AMANDA: “Good!?” For him maybe! MIN: You’ll be fine, Mandy. AMANDA: Don’t call me that or I won’t let you ride in the sleigh
Christmas Eve. MIN: We’re doing that? AMANDA: Bringin’ back the tradition! MIN: Of freezin’ our butts off. Least it’ll be the last damn time. AMANDA: Love your holiday spirit, Min. MIN: I suppose I could muster up a little for a few days. AMANDA: That would be nice. MIN: I’ll just focus on how good it’s going to be to finally get outta this
town. AMANDA: Stop it! Stop it right now! MIN: Damn it, if I wanna talk about it I’m gonna! AMANDA: Why do you have to be so…so callous about it? MIN: It’s my death! I’ll be anyway I wanna be! AMANDA: But some of the things you say…they…they hurt. MIN: Don’t you go folding up on me like a soggy card table! Not now!
You promised. AMANDA: (Choking up.) You’re my little sister. MIN: And you’re my strength. You catch for me, Amanda. You catch
me. AMANDA: We were quite the duo. MIN: What’d ya mean “were?” We’re still “bad to the bone,” big sister. AMANDA: The eyes we’d blacken, the teeth we’d knock loose. MIN: ‘Member the time we cut school to go swimming with Jimmy
Tuttle and Aaron Palski? AMANDA: And they tried to talk us into skinny dipping. MIN: And you wouldn’t do it, ya prude; ruined our whole afternoon. AMANDA: Think you could still pitch? MIN: Why the hell should I? (Swigs beer.)
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AMANDA: This spring, after the snow melts, we need to play a game of catch.
MIN: If I’m still around I’ll show you how good my arm still is. AMANDA: (A moment.) We need to make this Christmas special. MIN: Then renting that sleigh was a damn good idea – go out in style…
freezin’ my ass off. BLACK OUT
ACT ONE, SCENE 3 TIME: Tuesday afternoon AT RISE: It is three days before school ends and Christmas break begins. DOT and MICHAEL come running in front door, very excited. DOT and MICHAEL: (Loudly.) Mom!? Mom!? Oma!? Mom!? Oma! AMANDA: (Running in from kitchen. Exclaiming.) What!? What is it!?
What’s wrong!? DOT and MICHAEL: (Loudly.) WE GOT INVITED TO A PARTY. AMANDA: Good lord, you two; thought a wolf was chasing you; scared
me to death. DOT: It’s a costume party… MICHAEL: …Costume party! DOT: …Friday night, right after school lets out for Christmas break… MICHAEL: …Christmas break! AMANDA: Costume party!? DOT: At the new kid’s place… MICHAEL: …New kid’s place! DOT: …He just lives right up the hill… MICHAEL: …Up the hill! DOT: Don’t worry, Oma! We got it all figured out… MICHAEL: …All figured out! DOT: We’re going to pick some mistletoe and sell it in town to raise
money to make our costumes…
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MICHAEL: …Make our costumes! DOT: I’m gonna be a clown… MICHEAL: …I’m gonna be a bearded fat lady… AMANDA: Well, that sounds… DOT: Tell Mom, will ya? MICHAEL: Tell Mom, will ya? DOT: Let’s go! MICHAEL: Let’s go! AMANDA: Don’t you think you oughta talk to your mother before…
(The two children are out the door as fast as they came in.) …guess not.
BLACK OUT
ACT ONE, SCENE 4
TIME: Tuesday evening AT RISE: SPENCER is sitting in easy chair reading the newspaper. AMANDA is sewing on one of her old dresses. SPENCER: (Plops newspaper down in disgust.) Holy Moses, I’m glad
I’m dead! How can you put up with the crap going on today? Lyin’ politicians, wars everywhere, unemployment…I tell ya, Mandy, we’re goin’ to hell in a hand basket.
AMANDA: Don’t call me Mandy. SPENCER: (Noticing what she’s working on.) What are you doing with
that old dress? That thing’s got to be thirty years old. Why do you even still have it?
AMANDA: Which question do you want me to answer first? SPENCER: Whichever tickles your fancy. AMANDA: I’m padding this dress for Michael, for the costume party. SPENCER: Michael!!?? Holy Moses!! Don’t he have enough problems
with ‘em bullies without dressing up as a girl?
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AMANDA: Calm down! He’s going as a bearded fat lady he saw in the circus. As far as putting up with the crap today, I ignore it. Nothing else you can do. Why do I still have this dress? Because it’s the one I wore to our fortieth high school reunion.
SPENCER: (Droll.) Oh! That one. AMANDA: Yeah, that one! The reunion where you had too much to
drink and threatened Cal Betters, my old boyfriend. SPENCER: He was gettin’ too chummy. It was that dress that caught
his wolf eye. AMANDA: He was just being nice. SPENCER: Cal Betters has never been nice in his life. Lord knows
why this town ever elected the ol’ horn dog mayor. AMANDA: Spencer, he hasn’t been mayor for the past five years. SPENCER: (Picks newspaper back up.) Good! Glad to see the town
finally wised up. (Lowers paper again.) It ain’t any of the Betters’ folks havin’ this costume party is it?
AMANDA: It’s a new family in town. SPENCER: Good! I don’t want my granddaughter affiliatin’ with them
wolf Betters. AMANDA: According to Michael she has a crush on the new boy. His
name is Chance Herman. They’re the family that moved in to the farm up the hill.
SPENCER: Haskin’s place? He sold it? AMANDA: It’s nothing like to used to be. Over half the land was
already sold off for that little strip mall. SPENCER: Strip malls, Wal-marts, car lots…is anyone growin’ food
anymore? Dot’s too young to have crushes. You need to talk to our daughter about settin’ that little girl straight.
AMANDA: She’s thirteen, Spencer. SPENCER: Like I said, too young! JANET and DOT enter front door. They each carry a sack of items. JANET: It’s snowing again. DOT: (Excited, running to AMANDA. Loudly.) Oma,oma, look at this!
(She pulls a hideously bright clown wig out of her sack and laughs.) Look at this! (She slips it on.) Is it me?
AMANDA: Down to the last ugly curl.
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DOT: I got big ol’ clown shoes and baggy pants… AMANDA: So you had enough money from selling the mistletoe? DOT looks at JANET. JANET: I helped a little, seeing this party is obviously very important.
Where’s Michael? AMANDA: Outside somewhere with Brunhilda. JANET: Him and that damn bird. (Crosses to kitchen archway.) AMANDA: What’s in the sack? JANET: Dinner! Remember, I’m cooking tonight. (Exits.) AMANDA: (Wary.) Oh! Yeah! I forgot. So, Dot, why is this party so
important? DOT: ‘Cause a lot of kids from school will be there. AMANDA: (Grinning.) That the only reason? SPENCER: (He rises and starts up the stairs.) Too young, Mandy! AMANDA: Don’t call… (She catches herself and turns to DOT.
SPENCER exits chuckling.) Michael says you have a crush on the new boy.
DOT: And I will crush Michael for saying that. AMANDA: Oh, that’s what brothers do – tell on sisters. There is
nothing wrong with crushes. Everyone has them. DOT: Did you have a crush on Opa? AMANDA: I married him, didn’t I? DOT: I don’t wanna marry Chance. AMANDA: Just because you have a crush doesn’t mean you’ll marry
the boy. Don’t fret yourself! DOT: I’m not stupid, Oma. I know you have to be in love to get married.
I know the difference between a crush and being in love. I think! Perhaps! Maybe! What is the difference?
AMANDA: Crushes come and go; love sticks. JANET: (Enters from kitchen.) The snow’s picking up out there. Dot,
would you go find Michael and tell him he needs to come inside? Make sure he’s not on that pond!
DOT: Okay. (She starts to exit.) JANET: (Calling after DOT.) Wear your coat! DOT: Yeah, Yeah! (She grabs her coat and exits front door.) JANET: Isn’t Aunt Min home yet?
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AMANDA: She had to make a stop after work. She’ll be home in time for supper. (Concerned.) Uh, what are fixing?
JANET: Breaded cutlets. I saw Wayne Caulfield while we were in town. He asked me if Darrin was back.
AMANDA: I don’t even know what ocean he’s under. Durn Navy and their secret submarines!
JANET: I asked him if I could put a few of my figurines in the drug store window.
AMANDA: And? JANET: He said yeah. He also… (Pause.) AMANDA: What? JANET: He asked me out. SPENCER: (Suddenly in kitchen archway.) At least it ain’t one of them
damn Betters. (He exits.) AMANDA: He’s had a crush on you since high school. Maybe that’s
why he never married. JANET: You’re giving me too much credit, mother. AMANDA: You gonna do it? JANET: I don’t think I’m ready. AMANDA: You can only hang on to hope for so long before it becomes
desperation. JANET: That’s very profound, mother. Who said it? AMANDA: I did. They laugh for a moment, then it subsides as JANET crosses to window and looks out. JANET: Maybe because it’s Christmas, but I keep…I keep expecting
something to happen - a letter, a phone call, something. (Pause, then realizing.) Desperation! Maybe I will go out with him. It would break up the routine.
AMANDA: How would the kids take it? JANET: Oh lord, I wouldn’t tell them. AMANDA: Just sneak out, like when you were fifteen, with Kevin
Alexander? JANET: You knew about that?
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AMANDA: Janet, your Aunt Min and I pulled off everything under the sun on your grandparents. You and your brother couldn’t put anything new past me. Besides, I trusted you. I knew you wouldn’t do anything stupid. But…if you don’t tell the kids, you’ll be sneakin’ on them.
JANET: Stop being so…so motherly! AMANDA: But it’s so much fun. JANET: (A moment.) No! I’m not going out with him. I’m not ready for
it. Maybe…maybe after Christmas some time, and after New Year’s. You know, when everything starts new, fresh. Maybe then. (A moment.) Desperation?
AMANDA: Nope! Not yet! You’re still safe. JANET smiles and hugs AMANDA. DOT: (Door opens suddenly and DOT enters.) Michael wants to bring
that stupid goose in the house. He says it’s getting too cold and snowy for it to stay outside.
JANET: (Hurries to door. Yelling to MICHAEL.) Michael, no gooses in the house!
AMANDA and DOT burst out laughing. Yelling out to MICHAEL.
Geese, I mean! Put that bird in the coop and get in here! (She shuts door and exits into kitchen.) That damn bird!
DOT: (She has been staring at the Christmas tree.) Oma, why isn’t there an angel or a star on top of the tree?
AMANDA: Didn’t have one this time last year either. Didn’t you notice? DOT: I wasn’t much in the mood for Christmas last year. AMANDA: Still miss your daddy? DOT: Kind of. Not as much as I did last Christmas. Is that bad? AMANDA: No, dear, it’s not bad. People get used to things fast, even
hard ones. DOT: Back in New York I had friends whose parents were divorced.
They seemed fine and other kids didn’t pick on them. AMANDA: Like here, huh?
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DOT: Only that terd bucket Dustin Ray, and a few specific snotty little witches who think their poop doesn’t stink. Small minds, Oma! I can deal with ‘em. So why isn’t there anything up there?
AMANDA: Oh, uh, because Santa Claus brings the angel and puts it on the tree.
DOT: Oma, I’m thirteen! AMANDA: Yes! Yes, you are! Okay. Okay. The truth! MICHAEL: (Enters stomping.) It’s not fair! (He runs to kitchen and calls
to JANET.) If she freezes out there it’s your fault! (He runs upstairs.) AMANDA: We may be having turkey after all. DOT: So what’s the truth, Oma? AMANDA: What truth? DOT: The tree top! AMANDA: Oh! Yes, the angel. Okay, now I don’t want what I’m going
to tell you to frighten you, to scare you or anything. DOT: Why should it? AMANDA: Well, because it involves a ghost. DOT: Aunt Min’s ghost? AMANDA: No. Another one. DOT: Another one!!?? There are two ghosts here? Awesome! Who’s
the second ghost? AMANDA: Opa. DOT: Opa!? AMANDA: It was always the tradition in our family that everyone could
decorate the tree with whatever they wanted to put on it, but your Opa always put the angel on top as the last thing.
JANET: (Standing in kitchen archway stirring something in a pan.) Mother, what are you tellin’ her!?
DOT: It’s awesome, mom! It’s about Opa’s ghost. Will I be able to see him?
JANET: (Sarcastically.) Yes, mother, will she be able to see him? AMANDA: I’m afraid not. He’s kind of like Santa Claus. He only puts
the angel up there after everyone’s asleep. DOT: Then how do you know it’s Opa? AMANDA: Well, uh, I’ve seen him. JANET: Oh, mother! (Exasperated, she returns to kitchen.) DOT: Is he all pale and white and can you see right through him and
does he go (makes ghostly sound.) “Whhhoooo?”
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AMANDA: Uh, no, Dot! He just looks like…like Opa. MIN: (Enters front door.) Good lord, you’d think we live in Alaska. DOT: Aunt Min, have you ever seen Opa’s ghost? MIN: (Stunned.) Uh, no! Only your Oma can see him. DOT: Can anyone else see your ghost? MIN: No! (To AMANDA.) What started all this? AMANDA: The angel on the tree! MIN: Oh! Uh, I thought…I thought Santa Claus put it there. AMANDA: Min, she’s thirteen! MIN: Oh, yeah. DOT: Jeez, what’s the fun of having ghosts if you can’t see ‘em? (She
takes her costume pieces and goes upstairs.) AMANDA: (To MIN.) What’s the news? MIN: No change! Still dying! AMANDA: Stop it! MIN: You know what I was thinking today? Maybe I’ll become a ghost,
too. Think of the fun I could have at that Wal-Mart return desk. My luck I’d just end up back here with you. What’s for dinner?
AMANDA: Breaded cutlets! Your niece is cooking tonight. MIN: Oh God forbid! (She hurries into kitchen.) There is a knock on the front door. AMANDA: I got it. (She crosses and opens door.) Wayne!? What’re
you’re do…never mind! Come in, come in. Get outta that mess! WAYNE: (Entering, he carries a small bag. He is slightly shy and
nervous.) Thanks, Mrs. Brewster. Sorry to bother you, but Janet and Dot forgot this at the store. (He removes a red clown nose from the bag.)
AMANDA: Oh, my goodness. Can’t very well be a clown without a nose, now can she? Janet?!
WAYNE: Oh, don’t bother her, Mrs. Brewster. I just wanted to bring… AMANDA: Nonsense! She needs to thank you. WAYNE: There’s really no… JANET: (Enters from kitchen. She has flour all over her face.) Yeah?
Oh! Hello, Wayne. (Tries to wipe off flour, which makes it worse because her hands are also covered with it.) Something wrong? Did I forget to pay you?
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WAYNE: No, no, nothing like that. JANET: Did my check bounce already? THEY laugh. AMANDA: Wayne brought this. (She holds up clown nose.) JANET: Oh, my gosh! How could we have forgotten that? Can’t very
well be a clown without a nose, now can she? AMANDA: That’s what I said. WAYNE: Yes, that’s exactly what she said. “Can’t very well be clown
without a nose, now can she?” JANET: Well, then…I guess we’ve all said it. They all chuckle, which is followed by an awkward silence.
You could’ve just called, Wayne. I’d have come back… SPENCER appears at top of staircase. WAYNE: Oh, I close the store early the week before Christmas
anyway. This was on my way home, so…so I just…it was no trouble, really. Well, I’ve done my good deed…
AMANDA: Wayne, would you like to stay for dinner? Janet’s cooking. (JANET gives AMANDA a look.)
WAYNE: Oh, no, no, no thank you. I appreciate it but I promised mother I’d pick up some Mexican food. Ever since we got that Taco Bell, she loves those burritos.
AMANDA: How is Loretta, Wayne? WAYNE: Fine! Just dandy! She’s going to take one of those three days
senior trips to Las Vegas for New Years. She’s really looking forward to it. Guess I’ll be doing my own cooking for a few days. (A moment.) Well, I’ll be going now. I hope Dot has fun at her party.
JANET: Thanks, Wayne. WAYNE: You’re welcome. No problem. Nice to see you again, Mrs.
Brewster. Bye, Janet. (He exits.) JANET and AMANDA: Bye, Wayne. JANET: He still lives with his mother! (Exits into kitchen.) SPENCER: (At bottom of stairs.) At least he ain’t one of ‘em Betters.
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AMANDA: Your granddaughter now knows about you. SPENCER: Did it spook her? Get it? (Chuckles, crosses to window
and looks out.) AMANDA: Her reply – “Awesome!” SPENCER: (Chuckling.) Tough kid! Don’t know about my grandson
though, seein’ that dress. AMANDA: It’s a costume, Spencer! SPENCER: (Gazing out window.) Full moon tonight - the kind that
makes wolves howl. If we listen real close maybe we’ll hear Cal Betters out there. I’m surprised he hasn’t come sniffin’ ‘round here since I been gone.
AMANDA: He has! SPENCER: What?! AMANDA: I sent him on his way! SPENCER: Good! With a swift kick in his oversized bum I hope. AMANDA: I married you, Spencer, for better or worse. SPENCER: Not funny, Mandy! AMANDA: Oh, you love my puns, ya know ya do! And don’t call me
Mandy! SPENCER: I tolerated ‘em ‘cause you said ‘em. AMANDA: So…you’re saying you simply “tolerated” me all those
years? SPENCER: Just your stupid puns. (He starts to step away from
window.) AMANDA: Wait! SPENCER: What? AMANDA: Wait! The moonlight…it’s put this glow around you. It
reminds me of… of… oh, what is it… I know… my first night hayride with Cal Betters.
SPENCER: Real funny, Amanda, real funny! AMANDA: (Laughing.) Oh, Spencer, after all our years together, you
know there has never been anyone I’d rather have by my side. SPENCER: Yeah, I know…and that’s what worries me. He exits into kitchen and AMANDA watches him leave. BLACK OUT
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ACT ONE, SCENE 5 TIME: Early Wednesday morning. AT RISE: AMANDA, DOT, and MICHAEL are stringing popcorn. MICHAEL keeps eating it. AMANDA: I can’t believe you kids have never strung popcorn. DOT: What’d you do with it after Christmas? You can’t store it like the
other decorations? AMANDA: Give it to the birds. Michael, stop eating it! MICHAEL: It needs butter! JANET: (Angrily entering from kitchen, carrying a box of broken
items.) Wanna see what your damn goose did!? (She drops box in front of MICHAEL.) Look at those! Why did you put her in my shop area?
MICHAEL: It was the only part of the barn that had heat. JANET: She went nuts and destroyed hundreds of dollars worth of my
work. Look at those, Michael! A dozen of them she broke - days of work. Local people have paid for them to be at their homes by Christmas. I’m supposed to deliver them this Sunday, on Christmas Eve. What are they going to think when I can’t do it?
MICHAEL: I… I don’t… JANET: WHAT, MICHAEL?! AMANDA: Janet… JANET: This is our livelihood, Michael. Do you even know that word? MICHAEL: Uh…”Livelihood: Means of maintaining life; subsis…” JANET: Like food, clothes, school books, MOVIES! MICHAEL: I’ll…I’ll help you replace them. JANET: How? Are you an expert on Norman Rockwell paintings,
Michael? Do you know the detail he puts into them? Do you even know who the hell he is?
AMANDA: Janet! MICHAEL: (Meekly.) No. JANET: No! You don’t! MICHAEL: I can learn…fast.
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DOT: Mom, he is a good artist. AMANDA: Show her your drawing of Brunhilda, Michael! JANET: I do not want to see a drawing of that damn bird. MICHAEL: I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t want her to freeze. JANET: (Getting Excited.) She has feathers. They keep her warm. AMANDA: (Responding Loudly.) Janet, calm down! MICHAEL: I’m…I’m sorry, I didn’t…I didn’t… JANET: No! You didn’t! Thank god I got the online orders mailed out
before that stinkin’ bird could… AMANDA: You have others molded, don’t you? JANET: Yes, but it’s the hand painting that takes the time. AMANDA: Let him help you. JANET: (Sharp.) He’s eleven years old, mother. AMANDA: (Sharp.) I know how old my grandson is. I also know he’s
a genius. JANET: That doesn’t make him an artist. It takes years of… AMANDA: Oh, don’t give me that slop, Janet! We knew you were
gifted when you were five. JANET: (Pause, as she glares at MICHAEL. Finally.) So you think you
can paint, huh? DOT: He can, mom! JANET: You think you’re an artist? DOT: He is, mom! JANET: I wanna hear it from him. MICHAEL: Uh, yeah…yeah…I…I think I am. JANET: You think? MICHAEL: (Getting a little backbone.) I am. JANET: (Briskly.) Come with me! (She exits into kitchen.) MICHAEL reluctantly rises and crosses to kitchen. He glances back at DOT and AMANDA. DOT: (Quietly.) You can do it, Mikey. AMANDA: (Quietly.) Go on, Michael! JANET: (Offstage, Loudly.) You coming?! MICHAEL enters kitchen as if he is heading for the executioner.
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DOT: I haven’t seen her that mad since…since I don’t know when. AMANDA: She’ll get over it. This’ll be good for both of them. DOT: (Rummaging through the box.) Jeez! They’re just little statues. AMANDA: She’s trying to make some money, Dot, so she can give
you kids what you need, what you want. That’s a lot of pressure. DOT: I don’t need anything. Well, maybe a new I-Pod. I’d give my old
one to Michael. Get him interested in something besides that wordy old dictionary. Never seen a book that screamed so much for pictures! That’s what Michael should draw – a bunch of little pictures for all those words he’s been learning.
AMANDA: Yeah, like that picture he drew of a bandicoot…with your face on it. (She laughs.)
DOT: Oh, thanks, Oma. AMANDA: Just give Michael his space. He’ll figure himself out soon
enough. DOT: I’m more worried about mom figuring him out. MIN: (Standing at top of stairs.) Is there any coffee? AMANDA: I thought you’d gone to work. MIN: (Descending stairs.) Took the day off. AMANDA: (Rising.) Are you not feeling well? MIN: Sit down! I’m fine. DOT: (Rising.) I’ll get you some coffee, Aunt Min. MIN: No cream!! DOT: (Exiting to kitchen.) Yeah, yeah! MIN: Three sugars! (She starts to sit in SPENCER’S easy chair then
stops and points at it.) Is…? AMANDA: He’s not there. MIN: Didn’t wanna end up in his lap. Might give him another heart
attack. (Sits.) AMANDA: That’s not funny, Min. MIN: It’s a little funny. AMANDA: (Chuckles.) Okay, a little. Why did you stay home? MIN: I’m fine, Mandy, really – just needed a day off – a day away from
that damn return counter. And I do have a little tummy trouble – probably from my niece’s supper last night. Why didn’t you ever teach her to cook; probably another reason her husband ran off.
AMANDA: Be nice! It’s too early. There might be some bacon left in the kitchen…and don’t call me Mandy!
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MIN: Not hungry. What was all the yelling about? AMANDA: Brunhilda ruined a bunch of Janet’s little statues. MIN: Thank god we’ll be cookin’ that bird soon. DOT: (Stops in the kitchen archway, coffee in her hand.) Cooking?
You’re going to cook Brunhilda!? MIN: She’s gonna be a fat tasty one for sure. DOT: Oh my gosh, Oma, that’ll kill Michael! (Takes coffee to MIN.) You
can’t do that! AMANDA: Dot, you know we have goose every Christmas.
Brunhilda’s the one we’ve been fattening up all year. DOT: Can’t you cook another one? AMANDA: They’re all sold, honey. All bought and paid for by other
people around town. They’ll pick them up Christmas Eve morning. DOT: This is terrible. I mean, I think it’s one dumb bird, but Michael
will think it’s…it’s cannibalism. MIN: Oh, stop the drama! He’ll get over it…once he’s got a big juicy
drumstick in his hand he’ll forget… DOT: No he won’t! MIN: I know kids! They get over things… DOT: You don’t know anything about kids! Especially Michael! AMANDA: Dot, that wasn’t called for. DOT: Well, she doesn’t! The only thing she ever says to either of us is
“Humph!” MIN: You sound like your mother when she was your age. She was a
lippy one, too. Humph! DOT: “Humph!” MIN: HUMPH! DOT: “HUMPH!” AMANDA: That’s enough, you two! I’ll send you both to your rooms.
Now kiss and make up! DOT/MIN: YUK! All three laugh. DOT: I’m gonna check on Michael. AMANDA: Don’t you tell him about Brunhilda! Not yet! DOT: I’m not going to tell him at all. You’re the adults. You can do it.
Humph! (Hurries into kitchen.)
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MIN: I like her spunk - reminds me of me. AMANDA: That’s scary. By the way, the horse and sleigh were already
rented out for Christmas Eve. I had to get it for the night before. Oh, guess who’s driving it.
MIN: Santa Claus? AMANDA: Wayne Caulfield. MIN: Have you told Janet? AMANDA: (Devilish grin.) I’m thinking I won’t. MIN: And folks call me mean. AMANDA: No one ever called you “mean.” Loose, maybe. MIN: I just liked to keep mom and dad on their toes. AMANDA: You certainly did that. (They laugh.) We haven’t had a
sleigh ride since Spencer died – should be fun. I’m excited about it. MIN: Long as the horse doesn’t stink. Remember that one year we got
that one that couldn’t stop crappin’? AMANDA: (Chuckling.) Oh my gosh, how could I forget. You’d think
someone gave it an enema. Horse apples everywhere! (They laugh.) But it was still fun.
MIN: Remember when mom and dad would sit in the front of the sleigh, dad driving, and us in back throwing snowballs at kids as we passed them? Loved pepperin’ ‘em snotty Betters!
AMANDA: You had an arm, Min. MIN: Still do! Bet I could still do some damage! AMANDA: Don’t even think about it! Not a good example to set for the
kids. MIN: Party pooper! (They laugh.) BLACK OUT
END OF ACT ONE
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