a tour of the breakfast cereal aisleudls/slides/2018-clement-cereal.pdf · cereal gets popular...
TRANSCRIPT
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A Tour of the Breakfast Cereal Aisle
Physically and historically
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Quote from an unnamed German“Cereal here is total garbage. It is either like eating sugar or eating air. Where is my muesli?”
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Quote from an unnamed German“Cereal here is total garbage. It is either like eating sugar or eating air. Where is my muesli?”
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Why care?● Over 5000 different brands; 2.7 billion
boxes sold annually in the US● Variety: express yourself● Who doesn’t want a 5 min breakfast for
like 50 cents?
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Humble Beginnings
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The breakfast landscape of 1854● Ferdinand Schumacher
○ “The Oatmeal King”○ Operates a hand oat grinder in his store
■ Feeding horse food to humans! Cheap!■ Opens his own oat mill
○ Goes on to create German Mills, which later becomes Quaker Oats
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From oats to granula - 1863● James Caleb Jackson
○ A religious doctor from New York○ Invents granula - dry bran and graham grain nuggets
■ Need to soak in milk overnight○ Not very good….
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From oats to granula granola - 1877● John Harvey Kellogg
○ A religious doctor from Michigan■ Proponent of the Seventh-Day Adventist Church■ Founder of the Battle Creek Sanitarium■ Promote healthy living: vegetarianism, no alcohol,
no tobacco, no coffee, no tea, no sex○ Runs a health resort in Battle Creek Michigan
■ Invents granola■ Later and by accident, corn flakes for his patients■ Meant to promote “good living”
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Post vs Kellogg● Charles Post
○ A patient at Battle Creek, loves corn flakes. ■ “Hey John, how do you make these?”
○ Starts making and selling his own cereal: Grape-nuts
● William Keith Kellogg○ Upset at his brother, he leaves the sanitarium○ Starts marketing cornflakes to the public as Kellogg’s○ Gets rich; becomes renowned Arabian horse breeder
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Battle Creek, Michigan● The Cereal Capital of the World● Headquarters of Kellogg’s and Post (and many other competitors)
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Cereal gets popular● Cereal was fast to prepare and didn’t spoil quickly
○ Less expensive than 1900s bougie breakfast: ■ Sausage, ham, eggs, pancakes, oysters
○ Tastier than 1900s commoner breakfast:■ Porridge or oatmeal
○ Heavy protein diets for breakfast caused health problems
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Cereal gets popular● William Keith Kellogg: marketing king
○ Buys the world’s biggest billboard in 1912○ Adds mail order prizes to cereal boxes
■ Muffin tins, measuring cups■ Jungleland books■ WW2 memorabilia
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Cereal advertising explodes
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Marketing booms for kids● Sugary crap and mascots!
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Better prizes and games
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Post 2000s● Due to health backlash, cereal becomes “healthy”
○ Start pitching whole grains and fibre
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Varieties of cereals and techniques
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Most cereals start in the same way● Cook a bunch of your favourite grain (corn, wheat, oats, etc)
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Various shapes and textures● Oven baked, pressure cooked, boiled
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Various flavours and add-ons● Dried fruit, nuts, sugar, more sugar, etc.
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So now that you’re sold… what should you buy?
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A good cereal● Taste (not too sweet)● Texture● Complexity● Combination with milk (residue,
effects, sogginess)● Hand edibility● Health: can you eat it daily and
function?
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The definitive* tier list ofmodern breakfast cereals
*Opinions are extremely biased. Use at your own risk.
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Garbage Tier
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French toast crunch● Tastes nothing like the real thing● Too crunchy, not easy to chew● Terrible leftover residue
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● Please just eat a cookie instead….
Cookie crisp
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● The marshmallows are all the flavour ○ But even they suck!
● If run out of marshmallows, game over
Lucky charms
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Low Tier
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Cinnamon toast crunch● Their claim to fame: “the taste you can see”● Dominated by cinnamon, floating in the bowl● Soggy ones are gross
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Frosted mini wheats● Bundles of shredded wheat with half frosting● Why half???● Totally doesn’t work with milk
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Chex mix● I’ve never had it, but it originated from a racist
cult leader who outlawed watermelon● Claimed to give mind control powers
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Normie Tier
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All the super plain and tasteless ones● Cheerios, corn flakes, alpha bits, rice krispies● Good for baking...
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Raisin bran● Cereal your parents would eat● Flakes are a just bit too light and bland
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Froot loops● Middle of the road in every way possible● Note: tastes nothing like fruit
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Good Tier
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Frosted flakes● Light and airy, not too sweet● Best cereal mascot of all time
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Special K● The best crunch and flakes● Great variety of flavours● Too expensive for its own good
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Honey bunches of oats● If only the flakes were a bit better….● Bunch of honey >> sugar
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Great Tier
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Reese’s Puffs● Half peanut butter, half chocolate● The taste of Reese’s cups without the
overwhelming flavour
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Oatmeal crisp● So close to there, all the flavours are great● Prob the best handheld cereal
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GOAT Tier
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Honey Nut Cheerios● Great ring shapes, no spillage, easy to chew● Lightly sweetened with a touch of honey● The most purchased cereal annually in the US
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Cereal is cool!
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Advanced cereal bowl
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Cereal popup bar in Vancouver!
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Cereal popup bar in Vancouver!