aaaargh! dealing effectively with difficult patrons
DESCRIPTION
Presentation to the Colorado Library Consortium (CLiC) conference, Grand Junction, CO, February 28, 2011.TRANSCRIPT
© 2011 Scott Brown
Scott Brown
CLiC Spring Workshop, Grand Junction, CO
February 28, 2011© Yuri Arcurs - Fotolia.com1
© 2011 Scott Brown
A story in brief• Experience in public,
academic and corporate libraries
• Coach/Therapist
• Trainer/speaker/adjunct faculty
• My story about conflict
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Objectives To understand some of the elements of difficult
patron situations
To learn some simple tools to help us deal with difficult patrons more effectively
To utilize our sense of humor and perspective to help us deal with difficult patrons
Read: have some fun!
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Why are difficult patrons so difficult?
They’re emotional
They’re stubborn
We get emotional and stubborn
© fred goldstein - Fotolia.com
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Elements of conflict
Opposing – or perceived opposing –goals, views, etc.
The element of respect or disrespect
Emotion
Situation
It’s likely not really “about” you at all
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Why conflict is scary
Fight or flight response triggered
Bundled up with daily frustrations
Our own emotions are involved
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© 2011 Scott Brown
How does conflict show up with patrons?
Materials challenges
Privacy
Computer usage
Those with mental illness
Age groups
Frustration/anger/hostility/threats
Online services/virtual services/social networks
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Types of conflict Tension or “unspoken” conflict
Written
Spoken
Face-to-face
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© 2011 Scott Brown
AvoidanceSometimes works,
sometimes doesn’t.
Can be misinterpreted: disregard or acceptance
Can set a bad precedent
Can escalate, exacerbate, replicate the situation
© Andres Rodriguez - Fotolia.com9
© 2011 Scott Brown
Conflict preventionCustomer service skills
Acknowledging and greeting people
Listening
Tone and body language
Understandable language
Proactive
Positive approach
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Conflict preventionPolicies
Having them
Setting patron expectations
Consistency
Signage
If I can’t address the issue, who do I go to? What’s my back-up plan?
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Conflict preventionCommunication
Open
Honest
Often
Assertive vs. aggressive
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Conflict!
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© 2011 Scott Brown
First off! Breathe or pause
Model behavior – set the tone
Be aware of the power you have
Respect
Assume good intentions
Listen
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Next…• Apologize – gracefully
• Not for yourself, but for the situation
• Acknowledge/validate
• Avoiding “assigning feelings”
• Get verbal confirmation
• Avoid red-flag words
• Don’t argue, justify or defend
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Then…Use bridge statements
Start with needs
Focus on the problemUse the “salami” tactic
Take your time
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Navigating the rough spots
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Diplomatically disagreeing
Concede a minor point
Interrupt tactfully
Be assertive
Don’t make idle promises
Involve colleagues
Stay safe
© 2011 Scott Brown
Escalated situations
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Change locations
Be specific in your requests
Say how the behavior is affecting you
Get help/escape
© 2011 Scott Brown
Working with those with mental illness
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Understand the types of mental illness
Maintain space
Ask how the person is doing
Don’t interrupt if the person is talking to himself/herself – unless necessary
Repeat yourself if necessary
Get help/escape
© 2011 Scott Brown
Taking care of yourself Breathe
Don’t take it personally
Practicing non-engagement
Take a break
Talk with someone
What’s it about?
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© 2011 Scott Brown
The effect of onlineMore anonymous
Easier to be rude
Easier to dismiss, avoid, “write off”
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Managing online conflictDon’t allow anonymous comments
Assign moderators
Moderate comments
Have guidelines
Respond quickly
Involve your community
Don’t be afraid to engage
Don’t be afraid to block
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© 2011 Scott Brown
Thank you!Scott Brown
Professional and personal coaching
303-834-7553
Social Information Grouphttp://www.socialinformationgroup.com
303-834-7553
http://www.linkedin.com/in/scottrbrown
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