- Willingness to accept that different people have different ways to go on about a conflict.Attitude

- Ability to understand the other person’s perspective as well as your own.Skills

- Knowledge of how reactions to conflict can be defined as hitting, running or standing.Knowledge

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Introduction

Stand Up: Activity TwoHit, Run,and Stand

This is the second step of Stand Up! This activity will be about interpersonal conflict, focus-ing on three ways of reacting to conflict. The activity will move through several steps. In the first step you will introduce interpersonal conflict by having the participants play a game in pairs that creates a small conflict between them. The point of this is for the participants to see how they act in a game setting and, in the reflect part, relate this to the three ways of reacting (“hitting”, “run-ning” and “standing”).

After reflecting on the game, you take a step back and have the participants think about their personal experiences with interpersonal conflict and their reactions. Sharing these experi-ences and feelings out loud is an exercise in putting feelings into words and gives the participants a more personal understanding of “hitting”, “running” and “standing”, and what kind of reaction is more typical for them.

Finally, to apply their new knowledge, the participants will put together a list of potential signs that they are “hitting” or “running”, and a couple of strategies to use to bring themselves to stand.

We strongly recommend the facilitators to read Confronting Conflicts before running this activity (link to a download can be found under “Further Reading”), especially Chapter 3, pages 18-23.

- Stand Up Committee Members

Time: 100 minutesNumber of Participants: Up to 40, an even number of participants is needed for the Do part. Facilitators can choose to participate in the Do part to even

out the numbers.

Materials: Part 1: Do

- Cups (1,5 times the number of participants. Do not use glass or porcelain cups)

For example: With 40 participants you will need 60 cups.Two screens/tables/chairs or other objects that can block the view in an

area on each side of the room.- 2 Bowls (Large cups work too)

- Candy (M&Ms or similar. You will need at least 3 times the amount of participants)

- 1 or 2 papers with the following text: “You can just stack the cups, your goal is to fill the bowl/big cup with candy”

- 1 or 2 papers with the following text: “You can just put the candy in the bowl, your goal is to stack as many cups

as you can.”

Part 2: Reflect- Small papers

(To write on, one per participant. ½ or ¼ of a page per person to save paper)Pens (At least one per participant)

Part 3: Generalize- Markers

1 large paper or whiteboard

Part 4: Apply- 2 large papers or whiteboard

- One post-it note per participant

Preparation Needed:1. Put a couple (1-3) candies in each cup, so you don’t have to do it later. For each round you will

need one cup per two participants, and there will be three rounds. This takes 10-15 minutes to prepare.

2. Place the cups up in a line in the middle of the room so that all participants can sit in two lines with a cup between them.

3. Set up the screens on each end of the room. Put one bowl behind each screen. Also put Instruction A behind one screen, and Instruction B behind the other.

The Activity

Activity’s Goal:To gain an understanding of interpersonal conflict

and a tool to come to a resolution.

Split the group up into pairs. Have the pairs sit down on the floor facing their partner with a cup between them.

First round- Tell the participants that they have now formed two teams, on each side of the line of cups. - Explain the following rules: - The participants are not allowed to go on the other side of the cup line at any time. - They are not allowed to communicate with anyone (no talk, no sign language, no mime, etc.) - Until you say go, they must have their hands on their backs - Of course: No physical violence! - When you say go, they can try to grab the cup before the person in front of them, and then bring it behind their screen. - Then make sure everyone is ready, and say “Ready, set, go!”- After every cup has been grabbed, tell the participants that didn’t get a cup to go behind the screens too.- Ask the participants to follow the instructions behind the screens (that you placed there in before the activity).

While the participants are reading and carrying out their instructions, place new cups with candy on the line, same way as before.

Second round- When the participants have done their task (built towers or collected candies, ask them to return to the line like before. It doesn’t matter whether they are facing the same person or not. Remind them that they are still not allowed to communicate with the other side.

- Tell them that the rules for the second round is the same as the first, repeat them if you have to.- Make sure everyone is ready, then say “Go!”- After every cup has been grabbed, tell the rest of the participants to go behind the screens too.- While the participants are either building a tower or collecting candies, place the cups for the third round.

Tell the participants to come back to the line for the third round. Third round- For the third round, explain that the rules are the same as in the second round except that now they are allowed to communicate with the other team if they want to.- Count down, say “Go!”- After the participants have finished their tasks behind the screens, tell them to remove the screens and gather in the middle.

Do: 15 Minutes

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Reflect: 20 Minutes

Ask the participants to form groups of four or five people.

Ask groups to discuss these questions:- What happened in different rounds?- What circumstances/conditions affected how you acted?- What did you feel during the activity?- Were the feelings different during different rounds?

Break up the groups and let them sit in a semi circle or group, depending on size, facing you.

- Introduce the participants to “Hitting, “Running” and “Standing” by using the “Car example” (Found in Confronting Conflicts) Feel free to add or remove phrases to make the explanation clear for your participants. If you have a whiteboard: Draw the cars!

- A visual way of thinking of these approaches is pretending that each side of a conflict is sitting in cars moving towards each other. You could drive your car forward. You will then make contact with the other car, but unless the other car steers away, you will crash into each other. In a conflict, hitting is represented by being aggressive or defensive, and trying to “win” and “be right”.

You could put the car in reverse. Then you’ll avoid a collision but you haven’t gotten where you wanted. Basically, you’re running away from the conflict, not wanting to confront the other person. But the conflict is still there, and the tension between you can increase. Finally, you could park the car. Then perhaps you can step out, walk over to the other car, see what is going on in there, and maybe look at your own car from the outside. You’re not being aggressive, but you are not running away either. Instead, you are trying to understand what led to the conflict from the different perspectives of the people involved, and trying to find a solution that everyone is happy with.

- Ask the participants to talk to their neighbour: Were you hitting, running or standing in the different rounds? After a minute or two, have around 3 people share with the whole group.

- Ask the participants to talk to their neighbour: Were your actions different from what you usually do in conflicts? Why, do you think? After a minute or two, have around 3 people share with the whole group.

- (One answer could be that you are not as emotionally affected by the game as by an actual conflict.)

RUN STANDHIT

Generalize: 30 Minutes

Tell them that you will now shift focus to a personal level. Hand out the small papers and pens.

Tell the participants the following: - “Think of a time when you were in a conflict with someone, that you are willing to share with others. What about the person or situation made you upset, what did you feel, and how did you react? Please write it down. ”

Give the participants up to five minutes to write. If you want, play some elevator music.

- Ask the participants to share with their neighbour what they wrote down, and if they consider their reaction to be hitting, running or standing.

While they are doing this, divide the whiteboard/big paper into three columns. Label them “Hit”, “Run”, and “Stand” and leave space to write more things underneath.

When everyone has shared their stories with their neighbour, you will try to connect the different feelings to hitting/running/standing:

- In full group, ask the participants to raise their hands and share the feeling they felt in the “real conflict”, and whether they hit, ran or stood. - Write the feeling to the respective part of the whiteboard/big paper. You don’t have to bring up all of them, and of course there is no right or wrong. - If you want, you can also follow up by asking how strong the feeling was. - What’s the difference between the feelings when you’re able to stand and when you’re not?

This is a great time to take a short break or to do a quick energizer.

Apply: 30 Minutes

- Ask the participants to think for a short time about whether they, when not able to stand, tend to “hit” or “run” in a conflict.

- After the minute is up, ask them to move to one part of the room, depending on what theydecided. “People who hit, go to this side. People who run, go to the other side.”

- Then ask them to find two or three other people who tend to react the same way. “Hitters”together, and “Runners” together. Ask them to turn their papers upside down and use them for the following task.

The task for this part is to make two lists within their groups: 1. Three potential signs that themselves are hitting/running (Example for a hitter: “Swearing at the other person”) 2. Three strategies that they can use to bring themselves to stand in a conflict. (Example for a runner: “Think about what will happen if they don’t do anything”)

Give the participants up to 10 minutes to complete this task, then ask them to gather in full group.

- Start with the groups that tend to “hit”, and ask them to share what they have written down. One group shares on thing at a time, until everything has been said. Start with the signs, and then the strategies. Then repeat the process for the “runners”.

If you are low on time, one option is to have the groups sit in two circles (hitters in one, runners in the other) and share their signs and strategies at the same time.

- When both kinds of groups have shared all their ideas, hand out 1 post it note to each partici-pant, along with pens. Ask the participants to write down one sign and one strategy that they feel are appropriate for them to remember. Ask them to write it down like one statement. For example “When I hear myself swearing at someone, I will take a deep breath.”

Give the participants two minutes to do this.

- Tell the participants that this concludes the activity, and ask them to save the post-it note, for example by putting it in their wallet.

RUNNERSHITTERS

The instructions are not written in stone. If you want to switch things up by asking different ques-tions, having different group sizes, feel free to do so as long as you think the same goals are being met. For example: In the Do part, the participants don’t have to sit on a line. If you don’t have the space, just call the teams “Team A” and “Team B”, and have the participants spread out in the room. As long as they are two people with a cup between them, the activity will work.

When discussing in bigger groups, some people are always quick to raise their hands. Make sure that someone who raises their hand for the first time gets priority. Bonus: pay attention to the gender distribution, and if one gender tends to speak more than an other.

After the activity is over, please remember to present Stand Up to the group, so they can under-stand the educational purpose of the project and the content area of the year. For example: Stand up aims to create educational activities for CISV's 2015 content area, Conflict and Resolution. There will be six ready-to-run activities released over the course of the year for chapters, JBs, schools, and anyone else who wants to run them!

Stand Up is an international project, part of the global movement that is Junior Branch. Let us know whenever you use a Stand Up activity in your chapter, or at any other event by taking pictures and sending them to: standup@ijb.cisv.org Please also let us know how many people participated. These pictures will be shared on our facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/cisvstandup

The Stand Up team is always looking for feedback about the activities. Send any pictures you have to standup@ijb.cisv.org, along with the number of participants who completed the activity.

We would appreciate if facilitators filled out this short evaluation form:http://goo.gl/S2kABi

Feedback

Further Reading

Tips for the Facilitators

Introducing Stand Up

Take Pictures!

Instagram Updates: http://instagram.com/cisvstandup

Stand Up’s Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/cisvstandup

The Jirafa Project:http://jirafa.cisv.no

Confronting Conflictswww.cisv.org/EasysiteWeb/getresource.axd?AssetID=1903