active listening & empathy-1

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    ACTIVE LISTENINGACTIVE LISTENING

    ANDANDEMPATHYEMPATHY

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    Active ListeningActive Listening

    It means listening by more than just hearingIt means listening by more than just hearingwords, by truly understanding andwords, by truly understanding andacknowledging the other persons messageacknowledging the other persons messageand feelings.and feelings.

    It allows and encourages another person toIt allows and encourages another person tofreely communicate his/her needs andfreely communicate his/her needs and

    opinionsopinions

    Its a very important skill while relating toIts a very important skill while relating toothersothers

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    EmpathyEmpathy

    DefinitionDefinition --D. M. Berger:D. M. Berger: The capacity to know emotionally what anotherThe capacity to know emotionally what another

    is experiencing from within the frame ofis experiencing from within the frame ofreference of that other person, the capacity toreference of that other person, the capacity tosample the feelings of another or to put oneselfsample the feelings of another or to put oneselfin anothers shoesin anothers shoes

    Alvin Goldman:Alvin Goldman: The ability to put oneself into the mental shoesThe ability to put oneself into the mental shoes

    of another person to understand her emotionsof another person to understand her emotionsand feelingsand feelings

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    Empathy is notEmpathy is not

    SympathySympathy is the feeling of compassion or concern for another,is the feeling of compassion or concern for another,

    the wish to see them better off or happier.the wish to see them better off or happier.

    PityPity is feeling that another is in trouble and in need ofis feeling that another is in trouble and in need of

    help as they cannot fix their problems themselves,help as they cannot fix their problems themselves,often described as "feeling sorry" for someone.often described as "feeling sorry" for someone.

    Emotional contagionEmotional contagion is when a person (especially an infant or a memberis when a person (especially an infant or a member

    of a mob) imitatively 'catches' the emotions thatof a mob) imitatively 'catches' the emotions that

    others are showing without necessarily recognizingothers are showing without necessarily recognizingthis is happeningthis is happening

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    Listening and EmpathyListening and Empathy

    Empathy should be an importantEmpathy should be an importantcomponent of active listeningcomponent of active listening

    Empathetic listening is listening soEmpathetic listening is listening sointently and identifying so closely that oneintently and identifying so closely that oneexperiences the other persons situation,experiences the other persons situation,thoughts and emotions.thoughts and emotions.

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    Components of EmpatheticComponents of Empathetic

    ListeningListening

    1.1. REFLECTING:REFLECTING:

    PurposePurpose

    To show that you understand how theTo show that you understand how theperson feels.person feels.

    Reflects the speakers basic feelings.Reflects the speakers basic feelings.

    Example:Example:

    You seem very upset.You seem very upset.

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    2.2. ENCOURAGING:ENCOURAGING:

    PurposePurpose

    To convey interest.To convey interest.

    To encourage the other person to keepTo encourage the other person to keeptalking.talking.

    ExampleExample Can you tell me more?Can you tell me more?

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    3.3. SUMMARIZING :SUMMARIZING :

    PurposePurpose

    To review progress.To review progress.

    To pull together important ideas and facts.To pull together important ideas and facts. To establish a basis for further discussion.To establish a basis for further discussion.

    Restates the major ideas expressed, includingRestates the major ideas expressed, includingfeelings.feelings.

    ExampleExample

    These seem to be the key ideas youveThese seem to be the key ideas youveexpressedexpressed

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    4.4. CLARIFYING :CLARIFYING :

    PurposePurpose To help you clarify what is said.To help you clarify what is said.

    To get more information.To get more information.

    To help the speaker see other points of view.To help the speaker see other points of view.

    How we can do itHow we can do it Ask questions.Ask questions.

    Use wrong interpretations to force the speaker toUse wrong interpretations to force the speaker toexplain further.explain further.

    ExampleExample When did this happen?When did this happen?

    Do I have this right? It means your friend hatesDo I have this right? It means your friend hatesyou.you.

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    5.5. RESTATING :RESTATING :

    PurposePurpose

    To show you are listening andTo show you are listening and

    understanding what is being said.understanding what is being said. To help the speaker see other points ofTo help the speaker see other points of

    view.view.

    ExampleExample

    So you would like your friends to includeSo you would like your friends to includeyou at recess, is that right?you at recess, is that right?

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    6.6. VALIDATING :VALIDATING :

    PurposePurpose

    To acknowledge the worthiness of the otherTo acknowledge the worthiness of the otherperson.person.

    How we can do itHow we can do it

    Acknowledge the value of their issues andAcknowledge the value of their issues andfeelings.feelings.

    Show appreciation for their efforts and actions.Show appreciation for their efforts and actions.

    ExampleExample

    I truly appreciate your willingness to resolve thisI truly appreciate your willingness to resolve thismatter.matter.

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    Common barriers toCommon barriers to

    ListeningListening Constantly comparing yourself to theConstantly comparing yourself to the

    speakerspeaker

    Trying to mind read what the speakerTrying to mind read what the speakerreally thinksreally thinks

    Planning what argument or story to givePlanning what argument or story to givenextnext

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    Drafting your advice before the speaker has finishedDrafting your advice before the speaker has finished

    Considering every conversation as intellectual debateConsidering every conversation as intellectual debatewith the goal of putting down the opponentwith the goal of putting down the opponent

    Believing you are always right and therefore feel noBelieving you are always right and therefore feel no

    need to listenneed to listen

    Quickly changing the topic or laughing it off if theQuickly changing the topic or laughing it off if thetopic gets serioustopic gets serious

    Placating the other person by automatically agreeingPlacating the other person by automatically agreeingwith everythingwith everything

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    Some dangers to avoidSome dangers to avoid

    while listeningwhile listening Stereotyped reactionsStereotyped reactions

    Pretending understandingPretending understanding

    OverreactingOverreacting

    UnderUnder--reachingreaching

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    Long windednessLong windedness

    Inattention to non verbal cuesInattention to non verbal cues

    Violating the other personsViolating the other personsexpectationsexpectations

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    Guidelines forEmpathicGuidelines forEmpathic

    ListeningListening Be attentiveBe attentive

    Be aware of your facial expression and bodyBe aware of your facial expression and bodylanguagelanguage

    Be a sounding boardBe a sounding board

    Dont ask a lot of questionsDont ask a lot of questions

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    Act like a mirrorAct like a mirror

    Dont discount the speakers feelingsDont discount the speakers feelings

    Dont let the speaker hook youDont let the speaker hook you

    Indicate you are listeningIndicate you are listening

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    Follow good listening ground rulesFollow good listening ground rules

    Dont interruptDont interrupt

    D

    ont change the subject or move in a newD

    ont change the subject or move in a newdirectiondirection

    Dont rehearse in your own headDont rehearse in your own head

    Dont interrogateDont interrogate

    Dont teachDont teach

    Dont give adviceDont give advice

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    When to use EmpatheticWhen to use Empathetic

    ListeningListening Before you take an actionBefore you take an action

    Before you argue or criticizeBefore you argue or criticize

    When the other person wants toWhen the other person wants todiscuss a problemdiscuss a problem

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    When you sense the other person isWhen you sense the other person is

    not verbalizing their problemsnot verbalizing their problems

    When another person wants to sortWhen another person wants to sort

    out his feelings and thoughtsout his feelings and thoughts

    During a direct mutual conversationDuring a direct mutual conversation

    When you encounter new ideasWhen you encounter new ideas

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    ActivitiesActivities

    1.1. Facilitator should ask the students to list any fiveFacilitator should ask the students to list any fivesituation in the following interpersonal situationssituation in the following interpersonal situationswhere they have failed in empathetic listeningwhere they have failed in empathetic listening--

    1.1. With members of the familyWith members of the family2.2. With friendsWith friends

    3.3. With teachers/authority figuresWith teachers/authority figures

    Take the examples from each of these situations andTake the examples from each of these situations and

    get the reactions from the class to find how many timeget the reactions from the class to find how many timewe use components of empathetic listening and how thewe use components of empathetic listening and how theeffective use of empathetic listening can change theeffective use of empathetic listening can change thesituation.situation.

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    2.2. Role play:Role play:

    Divide the class into 3 or 4 groups and giveDivide the class into 3 or 4 groups and giveone situation each . Ask the students toone situation each . Ask the students toenact the scene with common reactions andenact the scene with common reactions andhow empathetic listening can lead to betterhow empathetic listening can lead to betterinterpersonal relationshipinterpersonal relationship

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    Examples that can be usedExamples that can be used--

    A fellow student is leading a discussion in classA fellow student is leading a discussion in class

    convincing your parents to permit you to attendconvincing your parents to permit you to attend

    a party in the eveninga party in the evening Working on a group assignmentWorking on a group assignment

    you were caught being distracted in class. Howyou were caught being distracted in class. Howdo you settle this issue with the teacherdo you settle this issue with the teacher

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    THE ENDTHE END

    Thank you!!!Thank you!!!