addiction brochure 4: spiritual narcissism

Upload: fr-george-aquaro

Post on 08-Aug-2018

212 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

TRANSCRIPT

  • 8/22/2019 Addiction Brochure 4: Spiritual Narcissism

    1/2

    To serve

    Or

    to be served

    We hear often that churches conduct

    services. Often, we do not specify who

    it is that is being served. Are we beingserved, or are we serving God?

    Modern people often will tell you that

    they come to church not to serve God,

    but to be served, or get their needs

    met. Yet, this is not what services are

    about. We come to serve God through

    our worship. We also come to serve

    others as a community.

    Did you knowthat Jesus Christ said that He came to

    earth not that we would serve Him, but

    rather He would serve mankind (Mt

    20:28)? So, if we are called to follow Him

    and be transformed by Him, does this not

    also mean that we should seek to serveothers?

    Christians are sup-

    posed to be servants

    If you are a Christian, then you are called

    to serve others. If Christ is saving you

    and has rescued you from the arms of

    eternal death and separation, then you

    are His servant. And so, if you serve Him,

    then you must serve those He seeks toserve: the Lost Sheep.

    If you are lost, then you will be served.

    But, are you still lost? Have you not

    found your way here? You are not lost if

    you are standing in the church as you

    read this. You know where you are.

    You are home. You are no stranger here.

    So, now is the time to prepare yourself to

    be the servant that you were intended tobe, the one that Christ modeled for us.

    You may say, I am not prepared! I am

    very needy! Then you must begin the

    process of growing up to be an adult

    and to serve, rather than perpetually

    remaining a helpless child.

    We all must become good servants,

    because it is according to our service to

    others that God will judge us.

    How can I serve?

    The first thing you need to do is make

    time. There must be time to pray, time

    to come to church, and time to serve

    others. This means a lifestyle change for

    many of us. You cant do it all, so you

    will have to give up some things you liketo do in order to do the things you need

    to do.

    There are lots of ways you can become a

    servant:

    Welcome newcomers to the parish

    and attend to them during the coffee

    hour.Volunteer to visit shut-ins, and help

    bring people to church.

    Be a good example of patience andgenerosity in your parish, and an active

    participant in Diocesan/Archdiocesan

    activities.

    Become a volunteer at a hospital or an

    institution that cares for people.

    Support FOCUS, an Orthodox charity

    centered on community service:

    http://www.focusnorthamerica.org

    Support IOCC, an Orthodox charity

    centered on disaster relief:http://www.iocc.org

    Support OCMC, an Orthodox charity

    centered on evangelization and ministry:

    http://www.ocmc.org

    If you commit yourself to doing good,

    God will strengthen you for the task!

    http://orthodoxyandrecovery.blogspot.com

    2013

    Fr. George Aquaro - for free distribution onlyVersion 1.1

  • 8/22/2019 Addiction Brochure 4: Spiritual Narcissism

    2/2

    What about me?

    When we first come to the Church, we

    are spiritual infants. We do not have

    the life experiences of God to be able to

    help others.

    So, the Church then teaches us about

    God and the world around us. We learnand grow, and our spiritual growth

    translates into emotional maturity.

    A mature person is then able to care for

    others. He knows his basic needs, those

    necessary for a healthy life. But, he

    removes from himself all unnecessary

    neediness so that he can, in turn,

    become a complete human and care for

    others.

    Humans truly become human when they

    are able to take care of other humans.

    This is seen in our maternal and pat-

    ernal instincts.

    If we are always thinking of ourselves

    and putting our own endless needs

    before others, then we are not merely

    immature, but we are no longer truly

    human.

    A baby in a mans body is not merely a

    joke, it is a tragedy. When we do not

    grow up, and instead live perpetually as

    spiritual infants, we lose out on the

    blessings of this life that God has given

    us, and we are also preparing the way for

    our own condemnation.

    What is a narcissist?

    Narcissism is a mental disorder that comes

    from immaturity. These are some of the

    symptoms*:

    An obvious self-focus in interpersonal

    exchanges

    Problems in sustaining happy relationships

    A lack of psychological awareness

    Difficulty with empathy

    Problems distinguishing the self from othersHypersensitivity to any insults or imagined

    insults

    Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt

    Haughty body language

    Flattery towards people who admire and

    affirm them

    Detesting those who do not admire them

    Using other people without considering the

    cost of doing so

    Pretending to be more important than theyreally are

    Bragging (subtly but persistently) and

    exaggerating their achievements

    Claiming to be an "expert" at many things

    Inability to view the world from the

    perspective of other people

    Denial ofremorse and gratitude

    *- Thomas, David. Narcissism: Behind the Mask (2012),

    ISBN 184624935X

    Avoiding spiritual

    narcissism!

    If we always remain focused on

    ourselves, or perhaps just our parish,

    then we run the risk of becoming

    spiritual narcissists. This disease is in

    many of our parishes, where peoplethink only of themselves and, when they

    feel like it, they will consider caring for

    the parish in terms of meager donations.

    How do we escape this trap of perpetual

    infancy?

    First, we must repent and start to live

    truly spiritual lives with Gods help. We

    ask for His mercy and the courage to

    change. We confess our sins and startreceiving the Sacraments in a penitent

    manner rather than with an entitlement

    mentality.

    Second, we set out to serve others and

    that means we serve our neighbors and

    strangers. We find ways to bless those

    who have no hope other than God, and

    have no way to pay us back.

    Being a grown up means doing things notbecause we get instant gratification, but

    rather that we know they are the right

    things to do.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insultshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulnerabilityhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulnerabilityhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilt_(emotion)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_languagehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatteryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatteryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bragginghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bragginghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exaggeratinghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denialhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denialhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remorsehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gratitudehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gratitudehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remorsehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denialhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exaggeratinghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bragginghttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatteryhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_languagehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guilt_(emotion)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shamehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulnerabilityhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insultshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy