advanced academic writing - wordpress.com · 6/10/2018 · 2.brief comment on assignment 4...
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Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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Advanced Academic WritingSection 1
13:00-14:45, Wednesday, Oct 31, 2018Eng. 2nd bldg. Room 243
Instructors: Yuka Akiyama, Ph.D.Kumiko Morimura, Ph.D.
Global Center for Innovation in Engineering Education, IIIEEThe University of [email protected]
Autumn Semester, 2018
3799-027Agenda for today
1. Review from last week2. Brief comment on Assignment 43. Workshop:
1. Feedback on your outline (Assignment 3)2. Revision of the outline3. Write-up of your introduction
4. Methodology, results, charts & graphs
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Review from last week
• How to write an email to a professor with an attachment• Six moves in the introduction section + language features• Language analysis using your corpus (+ Google search)• How to structure a literature review (e.g., by the themes, theories,
types of data, types of analysis, pros vs. cons, chronologically)
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Brief comment on Assignment 4
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[4] K. A. Nelson, R. J. Davis, D. R. Lutz, and W. Smith, “Optical generation of tunable ultrasonic waves,” Journal of Applied Physics, vol. 53, no. 2, Feb., pp. 1144-1149, 2002. ß IEEE Documentation Style
- Reference number in square brackets [4]- Author (First, Middle, Last) and Author (First, Middle, Last)- Title of the paper in quotation marks, in sentence case (“Optical generation... waves”)- Name of the journal in italics (Journal of Applied Physics)- Volume number (vol. 53)- Issue number (no. 2)- Issue month (Feb.)- Page number (pp. 1144-1149)- Issue year (2002)
Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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List of referencesWhen you create a list of references, pay attention to:• What information to include (e.g., title, journal, page number)
• Whether you need to provide DOI code (e.g., 10.1021/ja803370x)• How to cite books, book chapters, journal articles, web sources, etc.• Punctuation (. , ; :)• Spaces (e.g., Nano Lett.,17,2211 OR Nano Lett., 17, 2211)• Whether you need “ ” (Note: “ ” vs. ‘ ’)
• Whether you need to use abbreviations (e.g., and vs. &; volume vs. vol.; edition vs. ed.)• How many authors you can include without “et al.”• What to capitalize, italicize, and bold • Which dash to use (i.e., hyphen? en-dash? em-dash?)
• How to cite journals in other languages
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Workshop Write-up of the introduction
Final Paper
At least 2 pages long; double column, single-spaced (see the bottom of https://ericseut.wordpress.com/advanced-academic-writing/ for the template)
A. Original research paper• Title, abstract, introduction, methodology, results, discussion,
references, (+ acknowledgments, appendix)• Include 5+ references
B. Review paper• Title, abstract, introduction (+ section on how the sources were
retrieved, what is the scope of the review), analysis and discussion, references (+ acknowledgments, appendix)
• Include 10+ references7
Review: Structure of a research paper• Title• Abstract• Introduction• Methodology• Results• Discussion• Conclusion• Acknowledgements• References• Appendix
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Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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Moves Common expressions1 State the relevance of your research There has been a growing interest in ...; ... have been widely studied in
xxx; ... Have recently received broad attention due to xxx; ... is
important/essential for xxx
2 Provide some background Previous research has suggested that ...; The first attempt to do xxx was
undertaken by (Name) [ref #]; Recent studies have shown that ...;
Researchers have recently proposed ...
3 Be specific about the problem you are
trying to solve and the current research
focus of the field
4 Literature review on the general problem
5 Mention important research specifically
done on this topic and then, explain the
gap you are trying to fill
However, these methods have some limitations, such as ...; It is still a
great challenge to do xxx; The literature concerning xxx is still limited;
xxx still remains an open research problem; The two major shortcomings
with xxx were ...
6 Describe the contents of your paper and
some details regarding the methodology
(roadmap)
The purpose of this study is/was to ...; The research described here is an
effort to improve xxx; In this research, xxx is investigated; This paper
presents xxx; This paper reviews/deals with/addresses xxx 9
Review: Language features Review: Assignment 4
You read 10 articles and analyzed them according to your coding scheme.
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Study Keywords Method Data collected Analysis Results Conclusion Notes
1 Minemastu
(2018)
Shadowing,
automatic scoring,
deep learning, GOP
Had 120
Vietnamese
students shadow...
Audio Regression Strong correlation (.83)
between human rating and
automatic scoring
The new method that
adopted deep
learning improved
scoring accuracy
2 Akiyama
(2018)
Shadowing,
proficiency,
automatic scoring
Had 30 Japanese
students repeat
Audio T-test Advanced > lower
proficiency students scored
accurately
Automatic scoring
may not work as
effectively for lower-
level students’
speechYou now have all the ingredients!• Knowledge of what the introduction section consists of (i.e., 6 moves)
• Understanding of the purpose of writing the introduction section
• Language features of the introduction section
• 10 articles and analysis of them
Revising Your Outline à Start Writing!• Yuka and TAs will go around the classroom and give you
feedback on the outline (Assignment 3) in person• Yuka and TAs will look at your Assignment 4 (analysis of 10
articles), too
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Your task: • Think about how you will structure the introduction
(e.g., by the themes, theories, chronologically, etc.)• Revise your outline
• You can model your papers and/or• Refer to the handout for a few tips
• If you are done revising the outline, start writing!
An outline should look like this!
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Title (tentative title): xxx
i. Introductioni. The importance of xxx and its applicability to the society ii. Past research
i. Yamada (2000): Application of xxx for the first timeii. Johnson (2013): New methodology to improve xxxiii. Takeda (2014): Counterargument to Johnson
iii. Issues with xxxi. Sizeii. Cost
iv. Our studyi. Purpose of this researchii. Brief explanation on what kind of method was used
ii. Methodologyiii. Resultsiv. Discussion and Conclusion
Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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Assessment rubrics for Assignment 4
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Perfect (5) Good (3) Ok but needs more work (1)
Bad (0)
Identification of the salient features
You identified more than five salient features that are relevant to your field.
You identified 3~5 salient features that are relevant to your field.
You identified less than 3 salient features.
You did not identify any salient features.
Quantity of analysis
You analyzed 10+ studies.
You analyzed 7~9 studies.
You analyzed 3~6 studies.
You analyzed less than 3 studies.
Depth of analysis
Your analysis is very thorough.
Your analysis is generally thorough.
Your analysis needs a bit more work.
Your analysis needs to be redone.
TOTAL ____/15
Methodology, Results, Charts & Graphs
What does a “reproducibility/replication” mean?How are “results” different from “discussion”?
How can you report your findings in a visually appealing way?
Let’s think!
What do you talk about in the methodology section? (You can refer to your articles.)
• Materials (e.g., quantity, quality, measurement)• Procedure (e.g., how the experiment was run)• Data collection method (e.g., tests, test development)• Data analysis method (e.g., simulation, calculation)• Participants (if your experiment involves human subjects) (e.g., how
they were recruited/selected, participant profiles)• Others?
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Methodology
• The main questions this section should answer are “How?” and “How much?”
• Write the procedures in enough detail so that anybody can reproduce the result (i.e., reproducibility/replication).
• Name all the materials (chemicals and devices) used in your experiment. List standard tests (e.g., ASTM, JGS) if you used them.
• If a method is new, describe it in detail. If it is well known, just cite the reference. If it was done before but the method is not very common or access to the journal source is complicated, list the main characteristics.
• Include schematic diagrams and summarize the test conditions in tables.
• “This is exactly what I did, I did it carefully and I had good reasons for doing it this way” (Glasman-Deal, 2010)
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Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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1. Sit next to somebody who already has data to report on.2. The person with data à In 1 minute, describe a brief
background to the study and your research question.3. The person with data à In 3 minutes, describe the
methodology. *No interruption from the audience allowed!4. Listener à Report what the person with data said. If the listener feels confident in reporting, he/she probably understood the methodology well
and can replicate. If not, your methodology section needs to improve!
5. Listener à Let him/her know what was unclear about his/her methodology.
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Let’s try! Four moves in the methodology section
Moves Explanation Example TensePreparation To explain how you prepared
your sampleX solutions were prepared by diluting a 1000 mg/L standard stock solution (MEX Chemicals GmbH, Germany) with Beltam deionized water (BeltamCo., Ltd., USA).
Past
Procedure To explain how you conducted the study
The X performance was determined between 5 and 10 V (Smith Tester, Smith Instruments, USA).
Past
Method/model
To explain your (new) method/model
Eq. (1) is used for rigorous computation of the Z interaction between X and Y.
Present
Presentation To present what is covered in your paper
This signal is referred to as the total intensity in the spectrogram.
Present
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How to sequence the moves:Experiment: “Preparation” à “Procedure” (à “Presentation”)Theoretical study: “Method/model” (à “Presentation”)
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Sample passage on methodology
Rectangular specimens measuring 10 x 10 x 5mm3 were cut from a copper bar of commercial grade. Both faces were mirror-polished and etched with 50% nitric acid. These specimens were then fluxed with rosin mildly activated (RMA) flux (EFD Inc., Lincoln, RI). The plates were next immersed in a molten bath of 1 kg of solder alloy after the flux had been evaporated with preheating. The five different solder alloys studied are presented in Table 1. These alloys were examined at different temperatures at similar superheats (ΔT) above their liquidus temperatures. Accurate temperature measurements (±2°C) were obtained using thermocouples. The copper specimens were immersed in the solder bath for 1, 15, 60, 120, 210, and 330 min and then quenched in water. A total of 120 specimens were used (5 alloys compositions x 4 temperatures x 6 reaction periods).
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Sample passage on methodology
Rectangular specimens measuring 10 x 10 x 5mm3 were cut from a copper bar of commercial grade. Both faces were mirror-polished and etched with 50% nitric acid. These specimens were then fluxed with rosin mildly activated (RMA) flux (EFD Inc., Lincoln, RI). The plates were next immersed in a molten bath of 1 kg of solder alloy after the flux had been evaporated with preheating. The five different solder alloys studied are presented in Table 1. These alloys were examined at different temperatures at similar superheats (ΔT) above their liquidus temperatures. Accurate temperature measurements (±2°C) were obtained using thermocouples. The copper specimens were immersed in the solder bath for 1, 15, 60, 120, 210, and 330 min and then quenched in water. A total of 120 specimens were used (5 alloys compositions x 4 temperatures x 6 reaction periods).
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Preparation of specimens(past tense)
Presentation of Table 1(present tense)
Procedure for examining the specimens
(past tense)
Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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• Preparation
• Procedure
• Method/model
• Presentation
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Let’s match the four moves with the sample sentences!
A. Samples of a low X level variant of Y were cast on a laboratory twin belt caster at a gauge of 10 mm.
B. X represents what might be typical processing for a belt casting operation.
C. Warm rolling was performed at 500°C.
D. X is used in the AMSTEK (and the temperature of the roll surface influenced the sticking behavior).
E. The cooling rate of X is higher than that of Y when these devices are installed.
F. Samples were processed to one of the two final gauges.
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• Preparation
• Procedure
• Method/model
• Presentation
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Let’s match the four moves with the sample sentences!
A. Samples of a low X level variant of Y were cast on a laboratory twin belt caster at a gauge of 10 mm.
B. X represents what might be typical processing for a belt casting operation.
C. Warm rolling was performed at 500°C.
D. X is used in the AMSTEK (and the temperature of the roll surface influenced the sticking behavior).
E. The cooling rate of X is higher than that of Y when these devices are installed.
F. Samples were processed to one of the two final gauges.
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Writing tips: Methodology
Try to avoid as much as possible the verbs “do, perform, and make.” They deviate the attention from the actual action.
Avoid:“When using the infrared camera, the calibration was done between -20°C to 120°C”
Instead, use:“The infrared camera was calibrated from -20°C to 120°C”
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Writing tips: Methodology
Avoid using misleading adverbs
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Adverbs Imprecise Clear
Extremely The results are extremely dependent on stress level
The results depend on stress level
Significantly Time increases significantly with temperature
Time doubles for every increase in 5°C
Very, a lot There were leakages very often Leakages were found at a frequency of 2h-1
Approximately The model took approximately between 10 to 15 minutes
The model took from 10 to 15 minutes
Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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MethodologyWhat to write• Describe the experimental
approached used• Give enough details for your
experiments to be repeated• Background and purpose of
each procedure explained
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Grammar• Use past tense for “preparation” and
“procedure”• Use present tense for
“method/model” and “presentation”• Use passive voice• Avoid jargon and redundancies
How to write it• Arrange procedures in
chronological order• Organize the methods in
sections and subsections
Are there answers to these questions?• How you did it?• Why you did it like that?• What materials, equipment you
used?• What time, quantities, etc.?
Let’s think!
What do you talk about in the results section? (You can refer to your articles.)
• Findings (with data and visual representation)• Interpretation (cf. discussion)
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Results• This is the core part of your paper and you should report all the
main and important findings.• You must summarize the data in good arranged graphs and
tables and state your main findings based on them.• You do not have to include all your results, but you should not
omit contradictory results.• Never provide results without an interpretation. To interpret you
should be able to present your results talking about:• Sequence• Frequency• Quantity• Causality
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Five moves in the results section
Moves Explanation Example TenseGeneral explanation
To provide a general explanation (factual info)
During the manufacturing of Z, X is applied at the end of the welding.
Present
Procedure To explain how you conducted the study
Consecutive data were collected and converted as necessary.
Past
Figure To explain the figure Fig. 5 presents the experimental results. The resulting distribution clearly shows a peak at X.
Present
Findings To present your findings Twenty percent reduction was enough to improve the performance.
Past
Comments To briefly comment on the findings
Comparison of our experimental results with the simulated values shows tat they are very close to those predicted by the model.
Present
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Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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Sample passage on results
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Fig. 6 180-degree bending test results for (a) 0.7 mass%Fe (b) 1 mass%Fe
The hemming process is performed at the end of a plate during the manufacturing of the automobile body. The judgment of whether or not a plate is suitable for hemming is done using the 180-degree bending test. Fig. 6 shows the results of the bending test. When the Fe content was less than 0.7 mass%, no influence was observed on the surface of the bent strip (a). However, when the content of Fe was greater than 1.0 mass%, a crack was observed on the outer surface (b). These results show that an Fe content of up to 0.7 mass% is allowable for high-speed twin-roll casting.
Sample passage on results
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Fig. 6 180-degree bending test results for (a) 0.7 mass%Fe (b) 1 mass%FeThe hemming process is performed at the end of a plate during the manufacturing of the automobile body. The judgment of whether or not a plate is suitable for hemming is done using the 180-degree bending test. Fig. 6 shows the results of the bending test. When the Fe content was less than 0.7 mass%, no influence was observed on the surface of the bent strip (a). However, when the content of Fe was greater than 1.0 mass%, a crack was observed on the outer surface (b). These results show that an Fe content of up to 0.7 mass% is allowable for high-speed twin-roll casting.
General explanation
Figure
Findings
Comments
Results vs. Discussion
• Keeping hard facts and personal interpretations separated is very important in academia.
• Depending on the structure of your paper you may want to have different sections for these two parts.
• In the results section, avoid general conclusions, speculations or comparison with other studies. Leave that for the discussion part
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Results: (What you did and) what were the resultsDiscussion: What the results mean
Writing tips: Results• To report your results
• The results show that ...• ... was found to be insignificant.• The results of the tests are summarized in
Table 1. • To explain what a figure means
• Fig. 1 shows ...• Fig. 1 is a graphical representation of ...
• To explain your interpretation of the figure• It is clear from Fig. 1 that ...• As indicated in the figures, ...• From this figure, wen can observe ...
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Area Words or phrases
Sequence Beforehand, at first, at the beginning, then, soon, later, when, at the end, upon, meanwhile
Frequency Every time, invariably, habitually, as a rule, generally, regularly, commonly, sometimes, often, rarely, barely
Quantity Negligible, noticeable, fewer, infinitesimal, marginal, slight
Causality Due to, stem from, derived, accompanied, arise from, associated, connected to, generated, attributed to
Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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ResultsWhat to write• Report all main and important
findings • Include well organized tables
and clear figures• Give an interpretation to every
result
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Grammar• Use past tense for what was
done and present for statements of general validity
• Use precise vocabulary• Avoid wordiness
How to write it• Write paragraphs from most to least
important • Include purpose of experiment,
experimental approach, results and interpretation
• Describe figures in the text and point the reader to figures and tables
Are there answers to thesequestions?• What are the main findings?• What is the interpretation to
the results?
Charts and graphs: Types
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Line graph
Radar chart
Bar graph
Pie chart Flow chart
Charts and graphs: Examples
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0
2
3354
42
3 354 4 1
0
5
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
0 1 2 3 4 5
AAA1BRWKCQQPDTYIFP5A
Para
met
er Y
Parameter X
Data from site ANewly developed machine
Figure 1. XXXX Figure 1. XXXX
Charts and graphs: How to Improve?
36https://www3.nd.edu/~pkamat/pdf/graphs.pdf
Advanced Academic Writing 10/17/2018
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Charts and graphs: Key points
• Write all the information necessary to understand the graph by itself (axes labels, data label, conditions).
• Even if your paper is printed in black and white, all lines and points should be easy to read.
• Good resolution• Legible font (size, boldness, font choice)
• Your caption needs to match the graphic and describe what is graphed.
• In general, a caption appears on the bottom of charts/graphs (cf. tables whose caption usually appears at the top).
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Charts and graphs: Summary (Tufte, 1983, p. 183)
• Terms are spelled out• Text runs left to right• Data clarified with small notes• Legends vs. labels – decide which one is
appropriate• Graphic attracts viewer• Color choices (e.g., blue)• Clear, precise, and modest font• Upper & lower case, with serifs• Graphics should tend towards the
horizontal, greater in length than height38
Good graphic• Excessive abbreviations to decode• Text in vertical or multiple directions• Graphic requires repeated references
to scattered text• Repeating back and forth between
legend and graphic required• Graphic is filled with chartjunk• Dark letters on dark contrast• Type is dense, heavy, overbearing• All upper case, sans serif
Bad graphic
Assignment 4 & 5•Submit Assignment 4 (coding) by 11:59 on Nov 2 (Friday).
•Bring your Assignment 5 (draft of the introduction) to class on Nov 7.
•Email your Assignment 5 to [email protected] by 11:59 on Nov 9 (Friday).
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