amanda hall paper1 profolio
TRANSCRIPT
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For Heavens Sake, Get to thePoint!
BY: Amanda Hall
If an innocent, truly interested read-
er picks up a book and wants to really
feel the story, is it more effec-
tive writing if he reads, The
kind-hearted and fair damsel
labors strenuously, bringing herself nearly
to the brink of exhaustion on behalf of that
noble organization, the Federation of the
Blind, devoting as many as twenty hours in
every week to this laudable endeavor. or
The woman works tirelessly for charity,
contributing more than 20 hours every
week at the Federation of the Blind? No
contest! While flowery wording is often
misguidedly chosen as a writing style mas-
querading as effective, it is really concise,
direct writing with optimal word choice
that always better conveys and captivates
the reader.
Really, Less is More!
When it comes to writing, authors
lacking confidence, or just extremely ver-
bose, believe loading a sentence with a lot
of elaborate, descriptive words will force
the reader to feel the intended emotion and
be captivated; however, using unnecessary,
countless words in general will most likely
confuse the reader who has no hope of de-
ciphering the point the writer is trying to
make, if there actually is a point. Inexperi-
enced writers find it easier to exhaustibly
describe scenes or elaborate on feelings be-
cause it is easier to fill up a page with
words than effectively and efficiently tell a
story that, in its telling, provides real expe-
rience to the reader. According to Sherice
Jacobs, the education system today encour-
ages students to use creativity in their writ-
ing to facilitate the expression of emotions
(pg). Unfortunately this teaching style usu-
ally leads to purple patches, or needless
sections of flowery words that instead of
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captivating the reader, draw him or her
away from what the writer is really trying
to say. Most people embark on reading for
either work or pleasure. When reading for
pleasure, the reader wants to be swept off
his or her feet with active text that allows
ones own imagination to fill in the blanks.
Active, exciting, effective story telling
makes a literary piece intriguing; whereas,
never ending, over-inclusive storytelling
leads to disinterest, confusion and even
coma-like stupor. Likewise, a reader tack-
ling a document for work, or a student at-
tempting an academic article with the goal
of the most expedient absorption of con-
tent, does not want to waste any time try-
ing to glean importance out of a piece drip-
ping with inconsequential verbiage and
monotonous droning of grandiose or trivial
inclusions. In the article Dos and Donts
of Writing a Compelling Opening
Chapter, Idrees Patel agrees, explaining
that tight writing is a great way to keep
the reader engaged. Shorter sentences
make reading easier, because it makes it
more likely the reader will be able to re-
member what was said.
The Fix
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The fix to overloading a sentence
with a bunch of words is simplicity: keep it
short! Adding extra words in the hope that
a beautiful writing piece will grow is a los-
ing proposition, unless of course the author
is William Faulkner, an extremely gifted
master in writing long flowing sentences.
Unfortunately, in elementary through high
school, as well as on the dreaded and col-
lege-determining standardized tests such as
the SAT, the use of as many words as pos-
sible is shamelessly encouraged by assign-
ing papers with minimum word counts, in-
stead of papers geared to effectively and
consummately cover assigned points. Ac-
cording to Jacobs, a reader wants to be able
to get straight to the point, so a writer
should limit taking short cuts, detours, or
becoming unnecessarily repetitive.
Effective word Choice
An unforgivable way to lose a readers in-
terest is through poor word choice.
Filling a sentence with a bunch of adjec-
tives to describe something is monotonous
and sometimes even overwhelming to the
reader. Good word choice is like cooking: a
chef doesnt want to overpower the eater
with a dizzying array of spices because it
makes the food bitter, over stimulating the
diners pallet. On the other hand, if the
cook does not add enough spices, the meal
is bland and boring. Balance is the key and
the same principle applies to an inviting lit-
erary work. Too many words can over
stimulate a readers brain; he or she simply
cannot process it, or may not have the en-
ergy or motivation to try. Effective word
choice creates a nice flow, which resonates
with the reader and makes the story deli-
cious. In Element of Style, William
Strunk, Jr. concurs, explaining that A sen-
tence should contain no unnecessary
words, and a paragraph no unnecessary
sentences.
The Fix
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One valuable tool used to attract
and hold the readers attention is the use of
the strongest, most accurate verb at every
opportunity. For example, the word
searches is bland and not nearly as dy-
namic and effective as explores. A reader
can visualize a character exploring but is
lulled to sleep picturing someone finding
something. Verbs, however, tend to have a
presence of their own and have to be treat-
ed with respect when writing; a great verb
can be ruined with a lack of understanding
by the writer. For example, a sentence
such as, The woman died a horrific
painful death, sounds overly dramatic and
unnecessary, whereas The woman died a
painful death, gets the point across quick-
ly and effectively.
Getting to the Point
Many an unsuspecting, aspiring
writer has been seduced by the promise of
flowery writing, which is both misguided
and tragic when attempted written pieces
become redundant, mind-numbing works
that serve to lull the reader into resigned
submission. In Writing Concise Sen-
tences, Gary Larson explains how redun-
dant phrases are bad habits just waiting to
take over a persons writing. Larson as-
serts that this bad habit tends to sprout
from wordiness, a practice which also re-
sults in a garden variety of misinterpreta-
tions by the reader. As previously stated,
students are sometimes encouraged to fo-
cus on writing a lot of words because they
are assigned a certain length of paper, or
that the piece needs to be so many words.
Teachers are challenged to recognize the
value of writing 500 effective words in-
stead of 1000 words chosen to take up as-
signed space, and to encourage students to
write concise sentences that make sense,
get to the point, and are free of ineffective
redundancy.
The Fix
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Writers can avoid the pitfalls ac-
companying flowery writing if they
crunch up their sentences. Sherice Ja-
cobs advises writers to read aloud a couple
of sentences and, if out of breath due to the
outrageous length, try making it more di-
gestible for the reader by eliminating extra
words (pg). Teachers can likewise motivate
their students to produce powerful, charis-
matic writing by challenging them to write
a consummate piece that meets their own
satisfaction.
Conclusion
The misguided promise that flow-
ery writing is effective will unfortunately
continue to influence the novice writer try-
ing to impress unsuspecting readers every-
where, but it by no means has to become a
death sentence to once-promising literary
works. If writers commit to concise writing
they will prove that less is really more and
will be victorious in the eyes of the reader.
Finally, writers cant forget the main ingre-
dient for good writing: good word choice.
Mastering the arts of balance and effective
word choice are the keys to memorable
writing, mesmerizing lucky readers and
guaranteeing their overall satisfaction.
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