american atheist magazine sept/oct 2009

8/9/2019 American Atheist Magazine Sept/Oct 2009

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5200 14 00 237 Paperback

A m e r ic a n A th ei s t s E s s e n t i a l R e a d in g L i s t

Enjoy the introductory information provided in these books, which are of topics of interests to Atheists. These titles represent only

a fraction of the books available from American Atheist Press, yet collectively they provide a broad overview of Atheist thought.

Atheism Advanced: Further Thoughts of a Free Thinker by Davi d E ll er

An anthropologist advances Atheists and

16010 22 00 490

Paperback

Christ ianity before Christ by John

G.

Jackson

Christian doctrines are traced to their

in older

The Case Against Rel igion LJVMl

A psychotherapist's view of the harmful

of belief.

5096

57

Stapled

5400 70

Stapled

L iv ing in the L ight by Anne R. Stone

Subtitled Freeing Your Child from the Dark Ages

This book serves as a manual for Atheist

5588 12 00 157

Paperback

Our Constitution: The Way It Was by Madalyn O Hair

American Atheist Radio Series episodes about the myth

that our fathers created a Christian nation.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ¥

5412 18 00 288

Paperback

hat on Ear th is an Atheist by Madalyn O Hair

American Atheist Radio Series episodes on various topics

of Atheist philosophy and history.

I H_~-~'-~'@~'H~~: 7. '~~~~ __ ~ __

The Bible Handbook by G. W Foote W P et

A compilation of biblical absurdities, contradictions,

immoralities and obscenities.

5008 17 00 372

Paperback

An Atheist Ep ic by Madaly n O Hai r

The personal story of the batt le to end mandatory prayer

and bible reci tation in schools in the United States.

5376 18 00 302

Paperback

65 Press Interviews by Robert G. Ingersoll

Ingersoll's 19th-century newspaper interviews

as a Freethinker and of

5589

5 00 262

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5419

n At heist Looks at Women

&

Religion by Madalyn O Hair

Why attempts to reconci le rel igion with civi l

~~ ~~fo~lr_~w~o~m~e~n ..:a~r~e~~~ ~~~~~~ ~.~,~~~~_~~ ~~. '~

~._,_@m_H

The Myth of Nazareth: The Inven ted Town of Jesus by Rene Salm

Jesus couldn't have come from Nazareth

because no one was living there at the time.

______ ~~ M ~ __

16014 401

Paperback

The Jesus the Jews Never Knew by Fr ank R. Zi ndl er

A search of ancient Jewish l iterature yie lds no evidence

for the existence of historical Jesus.

The Great Inf idels by Robert G. Ingersoll

How nonbelievers and Atheists have contributed

to civil ization and enriched our lives.

5197

80

Paperback

16000 16 00 172

Paperbackl lus tr ated Stor ies From The Bible by Paul Farrell

You can bet this book won't ever be used

In Sunday Schools

L = _ , , _ , _ ., _

Jesus is Dead by Robert M. Price

Not only is there no reason to believe Jesus rose from the

~:': W Hw. '~:H..::... •......

® : : ; __ •• • •_ _

.~h~e,-eMv~erived or died at ~

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

16005 18 00 291

Please see the order form enclosed with this magazine for member discounts and shipping details, or consult www.atheists.org.


3/40

Sept/Oct 2009

Vol 47,

No.7

ISSN 0516-9623 (Pr in t)

ISSN 1935-8369 (Online)

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AMERICAN ATHEIST

also in this edition ...

6

In Love with the Preacher

8

Book Review: The Holy Bible

Preachers Who See the Sham

14

Usvs Them

16

Book Review:

Jesus Is Dead

18 How to Win Friends

Influence People to Aheism

Suffer the Little Children

24

Dangers of Tribalism & Pulp Christianity

3

Book Review: Snapshots Behind the Facade

3

Religion : Exam Pt 2

34

OhYe of Little Faith


4/40

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5/40SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009 -AMERICAN ATHEIST


6/40

In

Love

with the

Preacher

he 1740s, the Wesley brothers, both of them

prominent preachers, attracted many young women.

Falling in love with the brothers, several young women

bestowed much of their wealth and carnal lust on them. It is

said that in these forsaken times, the women led dull lives.

For example, this weaver's daughter, Elizabeth Johnson,

admitted that when she saw how much good others were

getting from their sermons, (and the hanky panky that

followed) she didn't want to be left out. Marriage was a

violent curse to most women. Their entire life was spent in

pregnancies, drudgeries, domestic abuse, and deprivation of

education.

In their mind, the gospels meant an escape. Women saw

the gospels as a reality in another time and place, where they

wanted to travel to like through a mirror. The mysticism of

knowing Jesus became an obsession that drove away the

pain of bearing child after child and the despair of seeing

one child live and the next one die. Meeting Jesus became a

goal. A voyage. A shift. A lift to happiness.

Women readied themselves entirely, mentally and

physically, to meet Jesus at any cost. One Martha Barham

is said to have been ready with spirit, flesh, and bone for

him, and wanted him, for better, for worse, for richer, for

AMERICAN ATHEIST· SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009

poorer, in sickness and health, till death shall convey me into

his dear arms and bosom.

These emotional and sexual desires were laid at the feet

of their preachers; the Wesley brothers made known in the

community that they (both) represented Jesus on earth. She

has longed for my coming as a child for the breast, preached

Charles Wesley. His diary is full of innuendoes. Double

entendres crafted from the Scriptures were hurled from the

pulpit at the congregation in a measured jab to impose on the

weaker sex, much what we still hear in Polygamist churches

in northern America in the 21 st Century.

The fact that women devote more time in church with


7/40

the preacher than at home with the family is a case study

for historians and writers alike. In English literature, the

attraction of the lonely woman to the vicar is prevalent.

In his first novel, The Pickwick Papers, Charles Dickens

repeatedly ridicules this. During his entire career he skillfully

mocks the preachers who live off gullible women. When the

evangelical Angela Coutts partnered with Dickens to help

rescue young 'fallen' women from the streets of London in

mid Victorian boom times, he resolutely curbed her wishes to

put preachers in charge of the Urania Cottage where the girls

were to be re-educated before being sent off to Australia.

As he had shown in Pickwick, Dickens was well aware that

if he was to lift these young women out of the vices that

had brought them to their 'fallen' state, he could not trust

religious men. To this day, the Church of Rome has proven

Dickens's precautions wise.

Inher recently published Dickens and the Home for Fallen

Women, Jenny Hartley compares the relationship between

the interviews Dickens had with the young delinquents when

they were introduced to the Home and the characters in his

novels. The living conditions and conduct of these young

thieves and prostitutes inspired Dickens to create the prose

he is loved for worldwide. Trust me, novels they are not.

Most of Dickens's stories are very real. They are more like

reporting than fantasy. After all, Dickens started out as a

reporter-and a very good one.

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8/40

in Review:

The Bible

T

here are very few books that can rival the historical

and cultural importance of the bible, so I thought I

might read it from cover to cover and see what all the

fuss is about. Honestly, aside from the literal inconsistencies

and the need for a deep-seeded suspension of disbelief, I

thought the bible was a quality supernatural thriller to the

core and a fantastic allegory for a person's ability to inflict

suffering on him or herself.

The main character ('God') in the book is cleverly

disguised as the all-knowing, all-loving maker of humanity,

but he is clearly established as villain to the reader within a

few short pages.

His Machiavellian 'scheme to create man as an Orwellian

plaything for his own cruel

purpose is sheer genius of

B

k

story-writing. It is a tale akin

S

to Frankenstein's creature,

where the creature is man

as he attempts to live up to

the cruel dictates of a master

who created him to be unable

to do so. This is evident from the beginning (Genesis), as the

author shows us that man is created with no understanding

of right and wrong but is still punished for disobeying the

edicts of his nefarious creator. You can almost hear the god's

villainous laughter over the manipulation of man, whom the

god created to fall for these evil traps, and you can't help

but wonder how man will escape such tyranny with the odds

stacked so heavily against him.

It is in this portion of the story that the god's complex

cohort and double agent, Lucifer, is introduced, seemingly

to help man in his plight. Lucifer is presented to the reader

as the scheming villain while he reveals the god's adroit lie

regarding the tree of knowledge, but quickly we can see

how he is the god's accomplice in his scheme to manipulate

and humiliate man for his own sick pleasure. Lucifer's right

hand man, the snake, helps nudge Adam through Eve (the

first members of our protagonist group that we meet) into

the trap set for them by convincing them to defy the rules

and eat from the forbidden tree. He persuades them to eat

the fruit so that they, too, can be gods, and not knowing

right from wrong, they do it.

BAM

God's cruel plan is fulfilled, and both the god and Lucifer

settle back for a good laugh at humanity's expense. We are

AMERICAN ATHEIST - SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER '2009

left to chuckle to ourselves as we see the humour injected in

the story of our creation as the god punishes Adam and Eve

for breaking a law that they never understood was wrong.

Men are sentenced to hard labour for eternity, and women

are sentenced to have painful childbirth woven into their

design. For the agent of Lucifer, a symbolic punishment

was needed to maintain the illusion of opposition to god,

so the snake is cursed to crawl on its belly for all its days.

Clearly, this is not really much of a punishment for a snake,

but it is the first good humour in the book to see the snake

penalized in such an overtly favourable way. This humorous

irony in consequence seems to show the collusion between

the antagonists against man.

The

double

veneer and genius in

manipulation continue

without much subtlety for

hundreds of pages. If you

are squeamish in reading

about murder, selling

daughters into the sex

trade, human sacrifice, war, plunder, genocide, rape, infant

killings, and slavery, then this book may not be for you,

as the bible can't seem get enough of it. The masterwork

of this manipulation of man comes with the fact that he

now knows what good is (the forbidden tree of knowledge

gave him that skill), but the god still is able to convince

him to partake in these terrible, immoral and sometimes

nonsensical things (do not plant seeds of different plants? )

Jason Burgoyne


9/40

in the name of love and goodness. He is like a used car

salesman in that he seems to be able to cover his motives

for evil so well as to bring all of humanity to his cause and

convince us to buy a Kia for the same price as a Mercedes.

This gives the antagonist much pleasure and helps to build

our sympathy for a protagonist who is doomed to play the

part as marionette to a wicked puppeteer in this tragic tale.

When the god's schemes become too great and bring

the world to a state of toiling in its own filth, the god kills

them all to wipe all evidence of his crimes with a flood and

starts all over with only a very naive Noah and his family

to repopulate (with clearly no knowledge of what 'incest'

means).

The book slows down from time to time with a bit of

drudgery as the author seems to enjoy his genealogy, but it

picks back up again with the story and all its violence and

lust very shortly after.

I don't want togive awaythewhole story ofmanipulation

and deception, but suffice to say that in the second book, the

god tries a new and far more subtle tactic. The genius in

this new approach is that when the reader begins to find

the burden of suspension of disbelief too heavy to carry,

and just when the reader feels like the god's immorality and

violence is too much for man to continue believing that the

god ismotivated by good, the god changes his approach and

sends his son with his message of 'peace.' Jesus takes an

outwardly gentler hand that has us falling right back in line

alongside man for a while. Jesus's motivation is given away

to the reader only when, after selling his message of peace,

he surprises you by reinforcing all of the god's old rules.

Now with the message of peace and the continued violence

from the old laws, confusion begins to grow for man.

At the end of this tragedy, all of the people that remain

loyal to the cruel joke in hope of the reward that the god

promises are guerdoned with the 'rapture.' This is the

ultimate realization of the tragedy and the raptured are sent

to an alternate dimension to continue to toil in the ego of

their tormentor's selfish entertainment for all time. Those

whochoosenot to accepthis conditional, unconditional love

find themselves in a sadistic torture pit of the god's making.

This is the terrible secret: with the god in the picture, we

lose either way.

It is certainly an epic in terror and genius in character

development in its portrayal of man as the eternal victim

of his own making. My only real issue are the constant

inconsistencies. Dates are not the same from one chapter

to another, numbers of generations counted are wrong from

page to page, laws and rules contraindicate, and accounts of

story vary greatly depending on the author (the apostles) of

a given chapter. I can forgive much of this in the name of

poetic license, but a greater hand could have been taken in

the editing process.

In the end if you are looking for a book that will bring

you to the edge of your seat with terror, to bring rage to the

fore of your emotion for the injustice, and to bring tears

of sympathy to your heart for man's plight, then this is

the book for you. Quite simply, it has all the makings of a

good Roman Polanski film. Murder, conniving schemes, a

powerful villain, lust, sex, sacrifice, betrayal and the hope of

redemption (that never comes) fill this book from beginning

to end.

If you can see into the allegory for our own existence

and our tendency as humans to work against our own best

interests and past the blood and gore, then this book is a

great cautionary tale. A tale that warns us of our own self-

destructive tendencies (represented by the god) and our

ability to follow without thought the edicts of an absolute

morality that we seem to crave.

I give it 3 out of 5 stars with a bonus star for historical

significance for a total of 4/5.

Now back to the reading and my next project,

Dianetics

*SPOILERALERT*

Jesus dies on page 681

Jason Burgoyne in a twelve-year veteran in the Canadian

military whose interests are philosophy, activist, and

Atheism.

www .a theists .org

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2Q09 - AMERICAN ATHEIST


10/40AMERICAN ATHEIST - SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009


11/40

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12/40

D

eep inside, some preachers slowly realize that

deities and devils, heavens and hells, and miracles

and messiahs are fairy tales. But they don't dare

reveal their qualms, so they hedge in the pulpit, living a

pose. However, a few have integrity enough to chuck it all-

publicly. Here are four famous cases:

H RLES TEMPLETON

Growing up in Toronto, Templeton was 'saved' at a

revival, started his own church, and rose to be Canada's top

evangelist in the 1940s. He joined Billy Graham in revivals

across America and Europe.

But Templeton suffered

doubts. Trying to make his

religion rational, he earned

a degree from Princeton

Theological Seminary, then

became a special preacher for the

National Council of Churches,

Wh

then head of evangelism for the

0

Presbyterian Church USA.

The changes didn't help. His

doubts wiped out his faith. In 1957, he announced that he

was an agnostic, stunning the evangelical world.

Templeton's intellect took him on to be a Canadian

television commentator-then managing editor of the

Toronto Star-then a leader of the Ontario Liberal Party

- then an advertising executive-then editor of Maclean s

Magazine-then a host of a daily radio show. In the 1990s,

he wrote

Farewell to God: My Reasons for Rejecting the

Christian Faith.

His book says Christianity rests on 'fables' that no

educated person can swallow. The church teaches beliefs that

are outdated, demonstrably untrue, and often ... deleterious to

individuals and to society, he wrote.

Page after page, he lists Bible miracles that are absurd.

Then he asks how an all-merciful father-creator could have

designed cruelty:

All life is predicated on death. Every carnivorous

creature must kill and devour ....Why does God's grand design

require creatures with teeth designed to crush spines or rend

flesh claws fashioned to seize and tear, venom to paralyze,

mouths to suck blood, coils to constrict and smother-even

expandable jaws so that prey may be swallowed whole and

alive? .. How could a loving and omnipotent God create such

horrors?

His book concludes: I believe that there is no supreme

being with human attributes-no God in the biblical sense-

but that all life is the result of timeless evolutionary forces ....

I believe that, in common with all living creatures, we die

and cease to exist. Templeton ceased to exist in 2001.


MARJOE GORTNER

Instead of writing a book about his apostasy, Gortner

made a movie.

He was born in the underbelly of religion. His parents

were California evangelists whose revivals were hokum.

Onstage, they exchanged secret signals and roused worshipers

to emotional peaks to extract large offerings. They sold 'holy'

gimmicks guaranteed to heal. They named their son Marjoe

for Mary and Joseph, and trained him as a squeaky child

preacher. They drilled him in sermons and stage antics.

See the Sham

James A. Haught

For ten years, Marjoe performed across the Bible Belt.

He estimated that his parents reaped $3 million. Then Marjoe

ran off at 14 with an older woman. Eventually he returned

to the revival circuit, strutting and prancing. Money rolled

in again.

Gortner knew that his religious act was a sham, yet he

had an honest streak and decided to expose his own fraud. He

engaged a movie crew to film his' revivals, then follow him

to hotel rooms where he tossed armfuls of money, crowing,

Thank you, Jesus

The film, Marjoe, jolted the fundamentalist world in

1972. Gortner became a minor movie star and recording

artist, although he went bankrupt while attempting to produce

a movie about a crooked evangelist.

During Gortner's revival heyday, another star was faith-

healer A.A. Allen, who toured with jars containing bodies

he said were demons he had cast out of the sick. (Doubters

said they were frogs.) Allen vanished from a West Virginia

revival and was found dead of alcoholism in a San Francisco

hotel room, his pockets crammed with cash.

Gortner said Allen once taught him how to tell when a

revival is finished and it's time to go to the next city: When

you can turn people on their head and shake them and no

money falls out, you know God's saying, 'Move on, son.'''


13/40

JAMES BALDWIN

Some bookish Americans may not know that Baldwin,

the great black author, formerly was a boy evangelist like

Gortner.

Baldwin grew up in Harlem, where his tyrannical

stepfather was a Pentecostal preacher. In a New Yorker essay

titled 'Down at the Cross,' Baldwin recounted how, one night

at a prayer meeting, Everything came roaring, screaming,

crying out, and I fell to the ground before the altar. It was

the strangest sensation I have ever had in my life. Newly

'saved,' he became a 14-year-old junior preacher and became

a much bigger drawing card than my father.

That was the most frightening time of my life, and

quite the most dishonest, and the resulting hysteria lent great

passion to my sermons-for a while, Baldwin wrote. Since

crime and vice filled surrounding streets, he said, It was

my good luck-perhaps-that I found myself in the church

racket instead of some other.

While he tingled to the 'fire and excitement' of

Pentecostalism, he nonetheless experienced the slow

crumbling of my faith. It occurred when I began to read

again .... I began, fatally, with Dostoevsky. He continued

handing out gospel tracts, but knew they were impossible

to believe.

I was forced, reluctantly, to realize that the Bible itself

had been written by men. He dismissed the claim that the

Bible writers were divinely inspired, saying he knew by now,

alas far more about divine inspiration than I dared admit, for

I knew how I worked myself up into my own visions.

The ex-minister wrote that he might have stayed in the

church if there was any loving-kindness to be found in it,

but there was no love in the church. It was a mask for hatred

and self-hatred and despair.

At 17, Baldwin left religion forever. He later caIIed

himself a 'nothing' theologically. In 'Down at the Cross,' he

summed up:

Life is tragic simply because the Earth turns and the sun

inexorably rises and sets, and one day, for each of us, the sun

will go down for the last, last time. Perhaps the whole root

of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all

the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems,

taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races,

armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death,

which is the only fact we have. For Baldwin, the sun went

down a last, last time in 1987.

• •

DAN BARKER

How do supernatural beliefs die? Very slowly, in many

small expansions of the mind-according to Barker, who

evolved from teenage evangelist to Atheist.

It was a gradual process, a growth, he says. It would

be like asking you, 'When did you grow up?'

At fifteen, Barker experienced a hysterical conversion

at a California revival and then plunged into religiosity. A

gifted musician, he rose in the born-again culture. He married

a gospel singer and they toured the revival circuit for eight

years. But doubts crept in. In his book, Losing Faith in Faith,

he explained:

It was some time in 1979, turning thirty, when I started

to have some early questions about Christianity .... I began to

read some science magazines, some philosophy, psychology,

daily newspapers ( ), and began to catch up on the liberal

arts education I should have had years before. This triggered

a ravenous appetite to learn, and produced a slow but steady

migration across the theological spectrum that took about

four or five years. I had no sudden, eye-opening experience.

When you are raised as I was, you don't just snap your fingers

and say, 'Oh, siIIy me There's no God.'

During his backslide, he suffered shame as he continued

preaching: I felt hypocritical, often hearing myself mouth

words about which I was no longer sure, but words that

the audience wanted to hear .... I became more and more

embarrassed at what I used to believe, and more attracted

to rational thinkers.... I no longer believed what I was

preaching.

Barker's transformation wrecked his marriage. Finally,

he wrote a mass letter to former colleagues, telling them: I

can no longer honestly caII myself a Christian.

Today, Barker is co-president of the Freedom From

Religion Foundation. He's just as exuberant for inteIIectual

honesty as he once was for fundamentalism.

In addition to the few who make dramatic public breaks,

some other ministers switch to social work or charity service.

How many more remain in the pulpit, reciting dogmas they

don't believe, afraid to face their real selves? Perhaps, like

Tolstoy's Ivan Ilytch, in the final hour before death, they will

see that their lives were meaningless.

James A. Haught is editor of West Virginia s largest

newspaper, The Charleston Gazette. He has written eight

skeptic books and sixty magazine essays.



14/40

Us vs Them Herb Silverman

But W ho Is Us and W ho Is Them?

H

ow many of you are proud to be Atheists? Well,

I'm not, just like I'm not proud to be a Round-

Earther. I'm mostly disappointed that Atheism isn't

the default for all of us who live on this side of Copernicus,

Darwin, and the Big Bang. I also wouldn't be particularly

proud if were a black .or a gay woman, anymore than I'm

proud to be a white, heterosexual man. However, I am

proud to support the rights of African-Americans, women,

and gays. And I'm very proud to be part of a much-needed

Atheist movement.

During the 1960s and 70s, I rarely thought about religion.

I assumed that my friends in New York and Massachusetts,

where I was living at the time, were also Atheists. Things

changed when I moved to South Carolina in 1976 and saw

how important religion was. Things changed a lot in 1990

when I discovered that the South Carolina Constitution

prohibited Atheists from holding public office. Some of you

have heard my 'Candidate Without a Prayer' story about how

I challenged this clause and eventually won in the South

Carolina Supreme Court. But that's not my topic for today.

During my political campaign, I remember thinking

how nice it would be were there a national organization that

promoted Atheism. Then I found one, which I joined. I found

another, which I also joined. And others. I joined them all.

But skeptic that I am, I wondered why I hadn't heard of any

of them before. Each acted as if other like-minded groups

didn't exist.

Then a metaphorical light bulb went on for me. I had a

vision-ofthe Christian Coalition-and I saw that we should

be more like them. Though we disagree with everything

they stand for, they had a terrific model: Put aside minor

theological differences, work together on important political

issues, and grab media attention. That was their scheme for

changing the culture and making politicians take notice.

Their strategy of demonizing nonbelievers and moving this

country closer to a theocracy worked all too well. I'm willing

to learn from anyone who has something to teach us, even

the Christian Coalition.

Thus the creation of the Secular Coalition for America,

consisting of nine national nontheistic member organizations

AMERICAN ATHEIST - SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER

2 9

[See secular.org]. I was thrilled to recently learn from

President Ed Buckner that the American Atheists board voted

to apply for admission.

Our organizations are motivated by a desire to speak

with one loud and clear voice, toward the goal of gaining

more cultural and political influence, preventing further

theocratic threats to our secular democracy, and turning

widespread misunderstandings about our constituency into

greater respect and public acceptance. The gay and lesbian

community achieved much of its progress through people

simply coming out of the closet. Thanks to Richard Dawkins

for his wonderful Atheist 'Out Campaign.' And the Secular

Coalition has been urging politicians and others to come

out of their Atheist closets, with some success and more

anticipated.

One artificial barrier to cooperation has been what I call

the 'fixed pie syndrome,' the false notion that the growth

of 'rival' organizations must be at the expense of your

own. Poker is an example of a fixed pie, called a zero-sum

game, where one person's gain is another's loss. However,

collaboration with nontheistic organizations is not a zero-

sum game. For every Atheist and Humanist in all of our

combined organizations are thousands who have never heard

of any of them.

Our players can cooperate in creating a bigger pie, to

the benefit of all. Many who find one of our organizations

wind up joining several others, as I did. This mixture of

cooperation and competition is known as 'co-opetition,' a

term used in economics and mathematical game theory. In

cooperative games, players form coalitions, reach agreements,

complement one another's strengths and weaknesses, and

work together to create a bigger pie. Organizations continue

to promote themselves and compete, with each group getting

a bigger slice than it had before.

Blacks, women, Jews, and gays have successfully

asserted their right to be treated fairly. They worked for

an end to discrimination, demanded a place at the table of

public opinion, formed special interest groups, and lobbied

for political and social change. Discrimination against these

groups continues, but not without consequences. Now it's our


15/40

turn Atheists have not been as influential as many smaller

interest groups, in part because we're an independent lot,

not easy to organize. If we can be recognized as a cohesive

unit with shared values and expectations, then we can attain

significant power. This will require those of us within the

secular community to stop focusing on relatively petty

disagreements, almost always having to do with semantics,

and unite to establish our legitimacy as a demographic.

Wemust build and sustain coalitions among freethinkers,

as well as between freethinkers and liberal religionists.

We must show our strength in numbers and work for

opportunities to get a place at the media and political tables.

The Secular Coalition collaborates and lobbies on issues

of common interest with a number of organizations that

are not nontheistic, like the ACLU and Americans United

for Separation of Church and State. We also cooperate on

selected issues with explicitly theistic organizations, like the

Interfaith Alliance and Baptist Joint Committee for Religious

Liberty. Working with such diverse groups provides the

additional benefit of gaining more visibility and respect

within the larger culture for our unique perspective.

Now for my most controversial pronouncement: we

have too much fun and waste too much time talking about

the Judeo-Christian god and quoting the Bible, much like

Christian fundamentalists do. I plead guilty to such a 'sin,'

confessing with a couple of personal examples. When asked

to say grace before a meal, I've been known to quote from

Malachi 2: I will corrupt your offspring, and spread dung

on your faces. Amen. Or I might belt out the daily Jewish

prayer, Thank God I was not born a woman

Of course, we can have such biblical fun at Atheist

conventions or when debating fundamentalists, but we

turn off potential allies when we assume all religionists are

fundamentalists, asking them to justify passages they find

every bit as absurd as we do. As Atheists, we won't win

friends and influence people by whining about past injustices

or unhappy religious upbringings. I think we should look

for opportunities to bring moderate religionists to our side.

Movements are most successful when they appeal to folks

outside the group.

You know, I'm probably the most religious person here,

which doesn't say very much in a room full of godless

infidels. But by one measure, I might be the most religious

person in the entire country. You see, I have not one, not two,

but three religions-more than Pat Roberson and Osama Bin

Laden combined First I joined the Society for Humanistic

Judaism, consisting of Atheist Jews, when they joined the

Secular Coalition. Then I joined the American Ethical Union,

another nontheistic religion, when they joined the Secular

Coalition. Finally, I joined my local Unitarian Church after

they invited me to give a sermon on Positive Atheism, and

most of them agreed with what I said, even when I was

making fun of them.

So I hope you won't hold my religions against me and that

you'll feel comfortable working with other nontheists who

may lead with different words. Whether we call ourselves

Atheists, Humanists, Secular Humanists, Agnostics,

Freethinkers, Brights, or Rationalists, remember this: we all

disbelieve in the same gods Here's an interesting distinction

between Christians and secularists: Christians have the same

unifying word, but fight over theology; secularists have the

same unifying theology, but fight over words. At least our

wars are only verbal.

I said earlier that I wanted our organizations to grow, but

my real goal is to put American Atheists out of business-

along with all the other organizations, including the Secular

Coalition. I'm hoping and working for a day when there will

be no more need of a Freethought Coalition than there is for

a Round-Earth Coalition. But we're not there yet

I urge you to go to secular.org and sign up for Action

Alerts about upcoming legislation. The more responses

members of Congress receive from our community, the more

attention they will pay to our issues. With the formation of

the Secular Coalition for America, we're finding our voice

and power as a unit. Our movement has been compared

to herding cats, as uniting secular Americans into a

cohesive community requires vigilance, determination,

and a significant investment of resources. The end result,

however, will be well worth it-an America that respects

nontheistic viewpoints, and an America where the influence

of conservative religion is mainly limited to within the walls

of churches, not the halls of Congress.

Herb Silverman delivered a longer version of this essay at

the American Atheists Conference on April 10, 2009.

www

.a theists .org

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER

2 9

AMERICAN ATHEIST


16/40


17/40

enterprise (66). In other words, the

gospels are literature, not divinely

inspired historical narratives.

Readers might find that the most

scintillating part of Price's book is

its conclusion. In the final chapter,

'Christ a Fiction,' Price offers the

theory that Jesus's existence is akin

to that of a mascot: It is quite likely,

though certainly by no means definitely

provable, that the central figure of the

gospels is not based on any historical

individual. Put simply, not only is the

theological 'Christ of faith' a synthetic

construct of theologians-a symbolic

Uncle Sam figure-if you could

travel through time ... and you went

back to First-Century Nazareth, you

would not find a Jesus living there

(272). Price thoroughly details four

Robert

M

Price

15

separate points, all of which make for

fascinating reading. His final paragraph

helpfully summarizes what he has

discussed earlier, at length: So, then,

Christ may be said to be a fiction in the

four senses that (1) it is quite possible

that there was no historical Jesus, (2)

Even if there was, he is lost to us, the

result being that there is no historical

Jesus available to us. Moreover, (3) the

Jesus who 'walks with me and talks

with me and tells me I am his own' is

an imaginative visualization and in the

nature of the case can be nothing more

than a fiction. And finally, (4) 'Christ'

as a corporate logo for this and that

religious institution is a euphemistic

fiction, not unlike Ronald McDonald,

Mickey Mouse, or Joe Camel, the

purpose of which is to get you to

swallow awhole raft of beliefs, atti tudes,

and behaviors by an act of simple

faith, short-circuiting the dangerous

process of thinking the issues out t o your

own conclusions (279). In closing,

Price's brilliant book investigates the

intellectual sin that

believers commit

when they fudge the

meaning of [the New

Testament gospels], to

stretch it to mean what

[they] want it to mean

(3).



18/40

957 William Sargant published

Battle for the Mind, on the current

understanding of techniques for

indoctrination, brainwashing, and

thought control. Twenty years earlier,

practice, long before the 20

th

century.

They fully appreciate that religion

is not a matter of argumentation and

certainly not a matter of constructing

convincing cases. It is, rather, literally

How

TO

FRIENDS

AND

David Eller

the_mind.html), The Battle in Your

Mind (http://www.joycemeyer. org i

OurMinistries/Everyday Answers/

The+Battle+In+Your+Mind/default.

htm), The Battle for the Mind

(http://www.hissheep.org/

deliverance/the battle

for_the _mind.html), and

The Battle of the Mind

(http://www.erwm.com/

AntonBoschBattle.htm) to

name but a few. Apparently,

we atheists are in a battle for

the mind, whether we fully

know it or not, and that reality

calls for a new orientation as

well as new tactics.

As rationalists, we value

facts and logic and expect

everyone else to respect them.

However, all of the research

into belief/attitude change

indicates that facts and logic

are not the decisive elements

in bringing people around to a

new way of thinking. We love

to argue and think that arguing

is effective, but experience

supports the conclusion of

Carnegie: You can't win an

argument. Instead, Nine

times out often, argument ends

with each of the contestants

more firmly convinced than

ever that he is absolutely

right. While we do not have

to follow all of Carnegie's

suggestions, we must take

seriously the possibility that

our current approach is not

the best approach-if, that is,

we want to actually change

people to our way of thinking on the

god-question and not merely entertain

ourselves with our cleverness and

outrage ourselves with the purported

stubbornness and stupidity of our

opponents. In a word, we need to

INFLUENCE

PEOPLE TO

ATHEISM

Dale Carnegie offered advice on How

to Win Friends and lrifluence People.

Since then we have learned a great deal

more about how beliefs and attitudes

are formed and changed-and theists

at least have put these methods into

a battle for the mind, as numerous

Christian Web-sites clearly illustrate:

The Battle for Your Mind (http://

www.ucgstp.org/lit/vt/vt05/mind.

htm), The Battle of the Mind

(http://www.sw-mins.org/battle _oC



19/40

learn what works and apply it, to

treat the theist Atheist encounter as

an exercise in applied psychology, of

persuasion, of influence.

Atheists are obliged to educate

themselves on the most successful

techniques of attitude-change, what

Robert Cialdini in his book Influence:

S c

ience andPracticecalls comp

I

iance

tactics or weapons of automatic

influence. I can hear many Atheists

objecting already, complaining that

persuasion or influence is beneath

them, even dishonest, akin to

advertising or indoctrination. Indeed,

the techniques that Sargant, Carnegie,

Cialdini, and many others advocate

are akin to advertising, but that is

beside the point: they work. We can be

noble and unsuccessful, and wallow

in our frustration that people don't

get our finely-crafted arguments, or

we can be practical and successful. I

assure you that, despite all their high-

minded rhetoric, theists employ all of

the possible tactics of influence and

reap the rewards thereof. In the battle

for the mind, Atheists have so far

been unarmed and disorganized, and

our results speak for themselves.

Accordingly, in this short article

I want to share Cialdini's six-part

plan for effective attitude change. His

and all such analyses start from the

same premises: first, the human mind

functions in specific ways that make

some approaches effectual and other

approaches ineffectual (and frankly,

it is stupid to persist in ineffectual

methods), and second, people tend

to think and act along what Cialdini

calls fixed action patterns. This

automatic, stereotyped behavior is

prevalent in much of human action,

precisely because in many cases, it is

the most efficient form of behaving

(7). Fixed action patterns are short

cuts of thought that frequently work

well enough to get by. When they are

supported by a power structure and an

organized community, they are all the

more powerful and unshakable.

Cialdini's six tools to loosen

people from their preconceived

thought and action patterns and

to lead them toward the ideas and

behaviors that you want from them

begin with

reciprocation,

give-and-

take or exchanging favors. People

are more likely to do or think what

you want if you give them something

first. Giving creates a sense of

I can hear

many

Atheists

objecting

already

future obligation (20), making it

difficult to refuse the supposedly

generous giver. That is one reason

why religions focus on doing good

works or handing out free things

like bibles: once someone has done a

good turn for you, it is harder to deny

their requests. Cialdini specifically

mentions the Hare Krishna practice of

distributing flowers; Christian theists

offer everything from free soup to

child care and marriage counseling.

The point is to get people through the

door and then to get them to feel some

debt, which they repay with loyalty

and increasing commitment.

The second tool, then, IS

commitment and consistency. Once

we make a choice or take a stand,

we will encounter personal and

interpersonal pressures to behave

consistently with that commitment

(52). Getting people to commit

themselves to any part of a position

makes them more inclined to accept

the rest. Getting them to commit

verbally and in person is good; getting

to them to commit in public and in

writing is even better. Merely evoking

a positive response (saying something

nice about the group or position)

without a full commitment is better

than nothing. More subtle aspects of

the technique include getting a general

or small commitment and working up

to a specific or large commitment.

Commitment and consistency operate

together, for If I can get you to

make a commitment (that is, to take

a stand, to go on record), I will have

set the stage for your automatic and

ill-considered consistency with that

earlier commitment (59). This is

why churches encourage people to

come down to the altar, to introduce

themselves to each other, to attend

meetings regularly, to contribute

financially to the group, or to perform

extreme and demanding acts like

tithing or attending sunrise services

or undergoing physical and mental

ordeals. Like a fraternity initiation

or a boot camp, the more effort

that goes into a commitment, the

greater is its ability to influence the

attitudes of the person who made

it (73). Atheism's much looser

structure-making no demands on

people, allowing them to come and

go as they please, often letting them

be anonymous and passive-results

in weaker commitment to groups and

to the cause.

Social proof is the third tool,

which holds that We view a behavior

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009 - AMERICANATHEIST


20/40

as correct in a given situation to the

degree that we see others performing

it (99). People are persuaded by

other people, not by facts---or, other

people's belief is a fact. The greater

the number ofpeople who find any idea

correct, the more a given individual

will perceive the idea to be correct

(108-09). Here too religion has the

edge, since they are in the majority

and regularly encourage members to

only consult other members as models

for behavior. Cults with their own

isolated compounds are only the most

extreme version of a general religious

tendency.

An obvious but important facet

of influence is liking: people are

more inclined to think and act like

people whom they find pleasant and

agreeable. Liking can be based on

physical attractiveness, similarity

with the target person, flattery,

cooperation (hence the double value

of reciprocity), familiarity, and

positive associations between things

(e.g. between getting free food from

some group and feeling good about the

group). Not for nothing do churches

and many otherwise non-enjoyable

activities feature lunches and potlucks

and pizza parties. It would behoove

atheists to be nice.

Fifth is authority, which has

been demonstrated again and again.

We are more likely to follow and to

comply with people in authority, who

have power and/of expertise. Humans

are, as well as imitative, inherently

obedient. And this authority could

and should be symbolized with

titles, official-looking clothing, and

the other trappings of status and

knowledge. This is why religions

include elaborate robes or decorative

altars or imposing architecture.

Finally, Cialdini mentions

scarcity, because opportunities seem


more valuable to us when they are less

available (200). People are motivated

when something is limited in supply

and time, or when they are afraid of

losing something they already have,

or especially when something is in

high demand. Religions of course

often claim to be dealing in scarce

goods, like salvation or remittance

of sins. If there are more people than

can get into heaven, the (alleged)

fact inspires competition for the few

remammg spaces.

Atheists will notice that theists

have some distinct advantages in

these areas: we are, among other

things, a minority with few goodies

(like eternal life) to offer. And some

of these recommendations are easier

to implement than others. But we are

at war with the exploiters (233),

in this case the religious exploiters,

and we have no choice but to accept

the challenge to fight the influence

they have over people and to try to

influence them to what is, happily, the

correct, atheistic conclusion.


21/40

as been nearly half a century since the U.S. Supreme

Court struck down a battery of practices that had turned

public school classrooms into churches by promoting

prayer, religious instruction, and displays of religious

iconography. These landmark cases were a clear victory on

behalf of state-church separation. The justices took a dim

view of activities like unison Bible verse recitation or forcing

youngsters to pledge ailegiance to the American flag under

God. The involvement of younger impressionable children

raised the bar for judicial scrutiny. Courts rightly noted

how peer pressure and the threat of social ostracism-even

violence-meant that religious activities in the classroom

could be especially divisive and inappropriate.

You would think, then, that school board officials,

administrators, and teachers would have understood the

message. Many have, but across the country there has been a

Conrad F. Goeringer

campaign of defiance that has kept FirstAmendment watchdog

groups likeAmerican Atheists busy trying to uphold the intent

of those Supreme Court decisions. Meanwhile, 'religious

freedom' groups have resorted to every conceivable ploy

and legal strategy to smuggle religious exercise back into the

public schools. Student-led prayer, 'spontaneous' praying

at athletic events, or holding a student vote on whether to

have a religious message delivered at graduation ceremonies

have become strategies in this culture war fracas. Courts

have not seen the end of this contentious effort, and there

is good evidence that fundamentalist Christians-especially

those who hold positions of authority as administrators,

teachers, and school board officials-are not giving up in

their campaign to take back our schools for Jesus.

All of this makes what has

recently occurred in Florida

particularly outrageous. The

case began when unidentified

plaintiffs-fearing, as in so

many First Amendment disputes,

retaliation by the faithful-filed

for a Preliminary Injunction

against the St. John's County

School District and officials at

the Webster Elementary School.

(See S.D. vs. ST. JOHN'S

COUNTRY SCHOOL

DISTRICT [3:09-cv-2S0-J-

20TEM.])

They charged that the school

had third-grade students practice

a song titled 'In God We Still

Trust' to be performed at an end-

of-year assembly.

This was not high church music or a classic rivaling

Handel's Messiah. The piece had been composed and



22/40

performed by the award winning American country music

band Diamond Rio. The group, founded in 1984, had carved

out a niche in the country genre blending several music

influences with religious themes. Early tunes boasted titles

like 'Oh Me, Oh My Sweet Baby' and 'This Romeo Ain't

Got Julie Yet.' Two years later, Diamond Rio released a

compendium of country-Gospel music fusion. The band

signed with Word Records, a Christian music label, in 2007.

The lyrics of'In God We Still Trust' are blatantly Judeo-

Christian, and demonstrate clear hostility toward the First

Amendment:

You place your hand on His Bible

When you swear to tell the truth

His name is on our greatest monuments

And all our money too

And when we pledge allegiance

There is no doubt where we stand

There's no separation

We are one nation under Him

In God we still trust

Here in America

He's the one we turn to

When the going gets tough ...

According to documents, the song was played three times

during regular classes and was sung at least once by the

class of third graders. Students were told that they had the

option of participating in the practice sessions and the school

assembly or being excluded. Parents of two of the students

filed a complaint in federal court asking for an immediate

injunction, arguing that school officials were imposing

sectarian religious beliefs onto the children, thus violating

their rights under the First and Fourteenth Amendments. The

school immediately removed the song from the assembly

program schedule.

Judge Harvey E. Schlesinger, an appointee to the federal

bunch of former President George H. W. Bush, saw the need

to excoriate school administrators and teachers because of

the important First Amendment issues involved. In a 24-page

opinion granting an injunction, Schlesinger described the words

ofthe offending song as patently religion and proselytizing,

adding, The lyrics... take aim at one [ot] our nation's

fundamental principles: the separation of church and state.

While admitting that Religion has been closely identified


with the development of our history and government ... It is, in

fact, the religious persecution suffered by our forefathers that

makes the freedom to religious opinion a cornerstone of our

national identities. Quoting the historic opinion from School

Dist. Of Abington Twp. Pa v. Schempp (1963), Schlesinger

added: [I]t is axiomatic to this identity that 'the government

remains neutral, and while protecting all [religions], it prefers

none and disparages

none.'

hir

-

Schlesinger also

cited the three-

prong test for the

Establishment of

religion outlined

by the high court

in the historic 1971

opinion in Lemon v.

Kurtzman:

Through a series

of cases, the Supreme

Court has established

a framework for

analyzing claims under

the Establishment

Clause of the First

Amendmen1. .. Under

the Lemon test, the Establishment Clause is violated if the

government's primary purpose is not secular-based, if the

principal effect is to aid or inhibit religion, or if there is any

'excessive [government] entanglement' with religion.

Schlesinger's 24-page ruling in support of the injunction

reads like a legal treatise on the First Amendment.

School officials blatantly endorsed sectarian religion and

compelled youngsters to participate in the process. Students

who might hesitate and find the lyrics offensive had

heightened susceptibility to pressures of conformity and

possible ostracism. The lyrics were propagandistic, noted

Schlesinger, and took aim at the separation of government

and religion: By encouraging students to sing 'there is

no separation, we are one nation under Him,' the school

is effectively enforcing a religious view that is contrary to

well-established constitutional law.

Although Webster School administrators supposedly

gra e

students

•

ractice

•

song e

eSti

st


23/40

removed the offensive song from the assembly program on

the same day Judge Schlesinger issued his order-April 15,

2009-the case did not end there. A week later, attorneys for

the Plaintiffs were back in court seeking another injunction

against a blatantly sectarian song. The Diamond Rio

piece may have been on the back burner, but now a music

instructor had students practicing 'Chatter With the Angels.'

The plea for the new injunction stated that this second song

had been selected as retaliation against the Plaintiffs and

complaining students.

There is a political sub-text here that goes deeper

than the trenchant analysis of First Amendment law by

Judge Schlesinger. Some teachers and officials at St.

John's School District are clearly engaged in theo-political

'warfare,' practicing' acts of resistance' to the constitutional

encroachments by secular, constitutional law. It is a pattern

that has emerged throughout the nation, with only a few

examples reaching the courts and news media. In the latter

cases, legal advocacy groups like the Alliance Defense Fund

stand ready to assist a teacher who blatantly proselytizes on

behalf of creationism in science class oruses a Bible to 'teach

history.' Indeed, those engaged in such behaviors have won

significant legal victories, skillfully and persistently arguing

that religion has a place in our classrooms. The religious

content is artfully camouflaged as being historically

significant or providing students with an 'alternative' view

of looking at the world.

The Webster School case, however, betrays something

starker and more authoritarian. Religious partisans may speak

of a high-school student's right to learn about 'alternatives'

to Darwinian evolution or insist that these same students

have a right to vote on issues like graduation ceremonial

prayer. Are third graders equipped to make such judgments,

though? Do they even know about the intricacies of First

Amendment law-a subject that engages some of the best

legal minds on both sides of the ideological divide? Is this

education or proselytizing? Or should we call it what it is-

sectarian indoctrination?

Conrad Goeringer surfs the Internet, watches the sky, and

writes about the world from his island home in South Jersey.

AVAILABLE AT ATHEISTS .ORG



24/40

Dangersof

Tribalism ByRajivThind

Pulp Christian ity

avexamined, studied, admired,

imbibed, and critiqued the Christian

faith and Bible for the past eight

years. Once I derived great sustenance

in my darkest hours from conservative

Christianity and sermons. Marx said

that religion is the opium of the masses,

but I know from personal experience

that it surely is the opium of a suffering

soul, a great comforter, and sustainer.

But after about five years of romance

with literalism, my faith in the person

of Jesus Christ became Humanist and

Progressive instead of fundamentalist,

literal, and liturgical.

I wish to mention that I passionately

stand for the freedoms of religion,

thought, and expression, no matter how

extreme or irrational they may be, as

long as they do not directly incite or

cause violence and hatred. In fact, it

is with this very belief that I offer my

critique in this article. Having made

clear where I stand, I must say that even

the most prominent Christian leaders

and evangelists disturb me, more so

because of their tribalism they directly

contradict Jesus's compassion for all

humanity.

For a moment, consider most

of the so-called Christian human

rights organizations, Web-sites,

and broadcasts. They will report

persecution of 'Christians' in every

conceivable corner of the world but

will totally overlook human suffering

if the oppressed cannot be tagged


as Christians. They never talk about

massacre of Muslims in Bosnia or

Chechnya or Sabra and Shatila. Such

prejudices and deliberate omissions

show nothing less than vile deceits,

moral bankruptcy, and violation of

what the person of Jesus stands for. It

also cheapens the real persecution of

Christians by making it appear mere

propaganda.

Even more dangerous is the

prophecy business of certain

televangelists and other broadcasters.

To these evangelists, international

relations do not exist if they don't have

a biblical news value. For this reason,

Israel and the Middle

East is all they can think:

about. As per these

prophets, apparently,

very soon the world is

coming to Apocalypse

when the fierce war of

Armageddon starts in

'the land of Israel.'

One American

Christian preacher and

broadcaster whom I

have always respected

recently came up with

a series about the end

times by joining pulp

Christian conspiracy

theories, leaving me

in utter disbelief. This

preacher and evangelist,

Dr. David Jeremiah,

leads a mega-church in a suburb of

San Diego. He also founded Turning

Points Ministries, which has a global

outreach, its broadcasts reach almost

every continent. In past months, his

TV sermons have become notably

fantastical. But, especially, it was his

recent two part 'Special' sermon about

the end times that goes beyond all

credibility. In brief, the Anti-Christ will

be the head of the European Union; he

will somehow get involved with Israel,

but Armageddon will eventually start.

The preacher was adamant that-as

the bible says-the number of Eastern

forces against Israel that are to converge

Dr. David Jeremiah


25/40

at a precisely forecast battlefield will

be around 200 million. The preacher

assured believers that if you count big

Asian countries like China this number

is not hard to materialize.

To begin with, you must use your

wild imagination to believe that all

'Eastern' countries or powers would

somehow find a big bone to pick with

tiny Israel. Then, even liberal estimates

may push the size of Chinese military

to 2 million; something less than that

would be India, and none others have

more than 1 million active soldiers,

except North Korea. Even if you factor

in the reserve forces, we cannot even

stretch the number to 100 million. How

on earth will 'Eastern' forces manage

200 million? And in the age of satellite

I know it sounds like a joke, but

these TV broadcasts reach millions all

over the world. Their global penetration

far exceeds reputable media outlets,

newspapers, and publications. Many

people-even the educated ones-who

have no basic understanding of foreign

countries, international relations,

and politics actually do believe these

prophecies.

I cannot rule out that the world may

end tonight for any number of obvious

or unimaginable reasons. The world

may also get embroiled in a catastrophic

world war involving nuclear weapons.

It can start from any of the flashpoints:

Israel-Muslim fundamentalists, India-

Pakistan, Koreas, Taiwan, Russia-West,

etc.

But to pinpoint and proclaim before

Even more

dangerous

is the

prophecy

business ...

Christ will come back from clouds on a

white horse to defeat the European Anti-

Christ-this is the height of lunacy.

An Evening with Dr. David Jeremiah LIVE from the FedExForum in Memphis, TN

guided intercontinental missiles capped

with deadliest nuclear weapons, why

on earth will anyone be stupid enough

to converge at Armageddon with 200

million men?

the whole world with dead certainty that

there will be an all powerful Anti-Christ

from the E. u ., that an Armageddon

will occur with 200 million soldiers

from 'Eastern' front alone, and that

Rajiv Thind is an aspiring writer with

degrees inEnglish Literature from India

and journalism from the University of

Canterbury in New Zealand.

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009 -AMERICAN ATHEIST


26/40

AT WHAT POINT DID YOU

REALIZE YOU WERE ATHEIST?

It started with reading Hesse's

Siddhartha and attending an Oingo

Boingo concert when I was 15 followed

by years of residual fear that Avenging

Jesus would show up to deliver a smack

down. Jesus was a no show, which

means I win by forfeit. I hear people

say we're all born atheist. I hate that.

I was born not believing in evolution

either, or toilets. The only belief babies

have that I find profound is their deep

respect for breasts.

HOW DID YOU TELL YOUR

FAMILY WHAT WAS THE

REACTION?

My oldest brother, John, is a

minister and we both reacted poorly,

engaging in near constant debate for

the next decade to the exclusion of

any other interaction. Happy Birthday

John. There is no God. Eventually we

learned to have a relationship again. I

should mention, this same brother was

AMERICAN ATHEIST -SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009

also a mixed martial arts fighter so I

was very brave to be so outspoken.

My mom and I until recently had

a don't ask don't tell policy. I stopped

going to church, and she didn't ask

why. My Atheism is public enough that

now mom is aware of it. She's been to

my comedy shows and she's a great

sport as I make fun of the religion that

she raised me in. She is proud of who

I am, of my morals but I know that she

worries about my soul. Oddly enough

my agnostic father gives me the most

grief. He'd like it if my brother and I

would just shut up.

WHERE DO YOU

GET YOUR MORALS?

From the same place as everyone

else, self- interest. The more enlightened,

intelligent, long-term this self-interest,

the better. A friend who is a minister at

a local mega-church, one of those Wal-

Mart looking churches, was explaining

that before becoming Christian he'd

just as soon step over a dying man then

stop and help. I thought, So, you're a

sociopath I'm glad he found religion

but in much the same way that I'm glad

when a heroin addict finds methadone.

I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE

A BRAND NEW BABY GIRL.

WHAT ARE YOUR BIGGEST

CONCERNS WITH RAISING A

CHILD AS AN ATHEIST?

I'll make sure she knows all about

religion so she's not hit with these

promises of immortality or of never

really losing your loved ones, during a

vulnerable time without being equipped.

I also want her to meet nice people of

every faith; to know that these people

that Daddy finds so irrational can still

be good neighbors and friends.

DO YOU PLAN TO HAVE YOUR

DAUGHTER BELIEVE IN SANTA

CLAUS, THE TOOTH FAIRY, OR

THE EASTER BUNNY?

Absolutely not. We'll watch all the

holiday specials and celebrate every

holiday there is, including ones we


27/40

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009 -AMERICAN ATHEIST


28/40


29/40

The

American Atheist

is happy to welcome Keith

as the newest member of the writing staff Watch

for future articles, and be prepared to

laugh,

Rare and unusual memestor the discriminating collector:

WWW .origin-ot-religions.org

Specializing in the tinest memes- new memesmonthl~...



30/40

Snapshots behind the Facade

By

Harry Hamer

Paperback 2

nd

edition 14.95

published by iUn iverse

Reviewed by Bill Hampl

Subtitled A Common Sense

Look at the Fabricated Environment

in Which We Live, Hamer's book

contains several chapters of interest

to an Atheistic audience, notably his

chapters on the origin of the universe,

life and death, religion, hope and

prayer, and the separation of church and

state. The 'snapshots' refer to Hamer's

own brief, intense glances (as opposed

to dialogues with other authors) at the

various topics.

Snapshots

contains some concise

commentary on the various failures

of religion in today's society. Two

examples are: Unfortunately, religion's

potential to do harm may outweigh

its demonstrated capacity to do good.

Christians, for example, have been

promoting 'Peace on Earth' for two

thousand years, albeit unsuccessfully

(11) and A religious person's God will

always be bigger than anyone else's

God (16).

Also of particular interest are

Hamer's writings about death. The

first of these is poetic: Our life in the

Universe is like the beautiful chime of

a bell: there is nothing, and then there

is a momentary, but glorious vibration,

and then again-nothing (4). A second

passage on this same topic is presented

in its entirety below:


Where did roadside shrines, with

their inflated balloons and teddy bears

and flowers, come from and why are

they tolerated? You see them all over-

marking the spot where someone was

killed by a car or in a vehicle. They are

meaningless memorials to everyone

except to the person or persons who

put them there. To the rest of us they

represent litter, or worse, a distraction

that could cause another fatality. All

too quickly the balloons deflate, the

teddy bears gets

s ic

soaked, and the

flowers wilt, and the scene literally

gets ugly. It's time to get back to the

practice of truly respecting our dead

in the cemetery-not in the car as one

conveniently drives by on the way to

the store or work (47).

I personally find such shrines

ridiculous, celebrating the accidental

loss of lives in our society. And, from

an Atheist standpoint, these sites are

further annoying in that they also serve

as excuses to assault the public with

crosses (most often) or other religious

symbols.

Although not available from

AmericanAtheist Press,

Snapshots

is an

engaging read, especially considering

its breadth of topics of interest to an

Atheist audience.


31/40


32/40

R elig ion 101:

F inal E xam Part Two

By Terrence Kaye

1) Conceding that torture is permissible under certain

conditions, which of the following would be the best

justification?

A. Your prisoner is the only one who knows the date and

time of an assassination attempt on the Pope

B. Your prisoner is the only one who knows where a

nuclear device has been planted in Washington, D.C.

C. Your prisoner is the only one who knows where a

vial of nerve gas has been placed in the London water

supply system

D. Your prisoner has announced that the earth revolves

around the sun

2) We know that Christianity is true because the Gospel

writers, inspired by God who can

make no error, recorded the founding events. For

example, on the first Easter morning,

the visitors to the tomb were greeted by which of the

following:

A. A young man (Mark 16:5)

B. No, no, it was no man, it was an

angel

(Matthew 28:2-

5)

C. You're both wrong, it was

two men

(Luke 24:4)

D. Damn it, there was

nobody

there (John 20:1-2)

3) Only human beings have souls, and thus only human

beings can go to heaven. What is the cutoff point for

entry into paradise?

A. Homo habilis

B. Homo erectus

C. Homo Neanderthalensis

D. Homo sapiens

4) According to at least one sainted church father, one of

the pleasures of the saved in paradise will be to behold

the agony of the damned in hell. What would be the

best time of day in heaven for a mother to behold the

agony of her only son who didn't make it?

A. Early in the morning before it gets too crowded

B. Mid-day when she can compare notes and share

the celebration with other mothers

C. Late at night when she can enjoy the flames in

starker contrast

AMERICAN ATHEIST- SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2 9

The author gratefully acknowledges the inspiration

provided by E. T. Babinski, Dan Barker, George Carlin,

Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Judith Hayes, James

Haught, Robert Ingersoll, Adam Lee, John Stuart Mill,

Pablo Neruda, Blaise Pascal, Seneca, Julia Sweeney,

Jethro Tull, Mark Twain, and Mark Vuletic.

5) In the Judeo-Christian tradition, we always look to the

Bible as a guide. In this example, your teenage son has

returned home from the prom intoxicated. If you want

to follow the Bible, you should:

A. Sit him down for a heart to heart talk

B. Enroll him in AA

C. Take away his driving privilege for one month

D. Smash his head in with rocks

6) In this example, your son-in-law, returned from his

honeymoon, has just told you he suspects your daughter

was not a virgin on their wedding night. Wishing to

abide by God's holy rules as laid out in the Bible, you

should:

A. Ask him if

he

was a virgin before you do

anything

B. Advise him to forgive her

C. Talk to your daughter

D. Go find those rocks

7) You are eating lunch at a crowded fast food restaurant

occupied mostly by children, when suddenly a

gunman bursts in, screams, 'Do not question or test

me,' and sprays the room with bullets. Ten people

are killed instantly; many more grievously wounded,

but somehow you escape unharmed. His ammunition

expended, the gunman heads for the door. What should

you do?

A. Call the police and wait for them to arrive

B. Call the police and leave

C. Risk death by asking the gunman why he did it

even though he told you not to

D. Fall on your knees and give thanks and praise to

the gunman for sparing your life

8) Why did God show his backside to Moses, as described

in Holy Scripture, Ex.33:23?

A. He invented everything, and this was simply the

first mooning

B. He was really ticked off when Moses dropped the

tablets

C. He was piqued, having just discovered His

almighty powers were useless against chariots of

iron (Judges I: 19)


33/40

D. Moses was too serious and needed to lighten up

a little

9) Jesus was God, and God knows all things, including

all the medical knowledge that will ever be known.

Why did Jesus blame demons for the case of epilepsy

he cured?

A. He was suffering from a temporary case of 'brain

freeze'

B. The Aramaic word for 'demon' is the same as the

word for 'cranial malfunction'

american atheist magazine sept/oct 2009

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