american nephrology nurses association long island chapter fall conference november 14, 2012 put on...
TRANSCRIPT
American Nephrology NursesAssociation
Long Island ChapterFall ConferenceNovember 14, 2012
Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask
FIRST
Set Up Stressed Out
Care Taking
Making ourselves indispensable
Martyrdom
Rescuing others – “Ms Fixit”
High Control Needs Hyper-responsible
“Take charge” style
Obsessive behaviors
Difficulty asking for help
Perfectionistic
Set Up Stressed Out
People Pleasing
Lack of boundaries
Swallow feelings, defer to others
Avoid conflict – smooth over
Others
Indirect, dishonest communication
Difficulty relaxing
All or none thinking
Disconnected, unaware of feelings, needs
Self worth determined by others
Ownership
Situation
aOptions
Moving fromReactivetoProactive
Want or Need
Plan A Plan B Plan C
Short Term Strategies
Relaxation techniques Mental vacation Body scan Notice breathing 4 -- 7 -- 8
Laughter
Attitude of gratitude
Stopping / still point
Reduce caffeine
Long Term Strategies
Review Energy Drains Relationships
Environment
Body -- Mind -- Spirit
Work
Money
Determine Top 5 Procrastinations Prioritize Decide One thing to do to get started
Review Ways to Re-energize
Relationships Environment Body -- Mind -- Spirit
Work Money
• conflict management
CommunicationIssues
D E S C
InvitedFeedback
Skills Sets
3 Commandments
TeamAgreements
Send . . .
Listen . . . Ask . . .
IDP• negotiation skills• listening / feedback • dealing with negativity
Team Building
Results
Accountability
Commitment
Trust
Conflict
Lencioni, Patrick. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. San Francisco: Jossey Bass, 2002
Dealing with Difficult Behavior
Situation / Behavior Approach / Suggestion
Manipulative behavior Set limits, be consistentclarify consequences
Defensive reaction Ask: “What did you hear me say? . . . . . .
Revengeful behavior Collect data and confront
Passive - aggressive / sniper (overt) Surface the issue(covert) Confront
Tearful “I can see you are upset”. . . I would like to resolve this . . . .
Dealing with Difficult Behavior
Situation / Behavior Approach / Suggestion
Side stepping / debater Stay focused on the issue
Hostile - aggressive Match styles -- call by name;time out; move to quiet place; “want to resolve this,but not this way
Complainer / whiner Listen to main points . . . get specific; shift focus to solutions
Withdrawal Provide silence, maintain eye contact . . . . .
Suggestions for Effective Self Management
SharpentheSaw
1. Quiet time each day to pause, reflect and refill.
2. Schedule priorities rather than prioritizing the schedule.
3. Positive thinking / re-framing.
Suggestions for Effective Self Management
4. Healthy food, rest, exercise
5. Regular time to “unplug” and just “be”
6. Break in routine every 6-8 weeks
SharpentheSaw
Suggestions for Effective Self Management
7. Laughter on a daily basis
8. Practice gratitude
9. Time with friends who nourish us
10. Hobbies, outside interests
SharpentheSaw
Three Part Process for Sustained Personal Change
Focus on the behavior change -- be specific
Daily practice in “doing it differently”-- integrated into practice
Build in accountability and support -- consistency
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Take Away Ideas