Thistextisreproducedwiththepermissionoftheauthorforuseinthe2020MicroflixAwards.Notfordistribution.Copyrighttheauthor.

Thistextisreproducedwiththepermissionoftheauthorforuseinthe2020MicroflixAwards.Notfordistribution.Copyrighttheauthor.

American Photographer Fails to Snap Australian Night Parrot by Julie Chevalier

'I carry little equipment. Taking three giant steps forward is quicker and less

intrusive than screwing on a telephoto lens,' Diane Arbus told fellow wildlife

photographers. She showed little interest in rows of Australian night parrots

preserved in drawers at the Australian Museum, 'like on a contact sheet.'

'I've heard that paparazzi are more likely to kill a night parrot with a Land Rover

than to shoot one in spinifex. I'm relieved you don't eat parrots. I wasn't sure.'

'Famous endangered birds are entitled to their privacy and shouldn't have to primp

and pose for the camera. Retouching beaks with lipstick is abhorrent.'

Ideal subjects, according to the photographer, are ship-wrecked, alcoholic, addicted,

incarcerated or deformed birds. She likes to photograph one-legged cross-dressing

crows wearing eye patches and garters, obese cockatoos with tattoos, and bald

eagles wearing asymmetrical flamingo-feather wigs.

'I bet there are fascinating species in bedrooms from Come By Chance to Wagga

Wagga,' said Arbus, who will vote Celibate in the coming election.