& k c

February 6, 2019 Volume 13, Issue 10

Amusing Stories • Jokes • Puzzles • TriviaCommunity Events and Coupons

Distribution on the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of each monthFor Advertising: Michelle Brokop (815)751-1286 Email: [email protected]

If you are age 7 - 107. . . Enjoy Your FREE Copy Of The Orange Peel Gazette

Download your FREE copy today at: www.OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo.com

FREETAKE ONE

KANE & KENDALL COUNTIES

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Inspection

The Experts In Drain Cleaning

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Nuts About Love“Driving through Southern

California, I stopped at a roadside stand that sold fruit, and vegetables As I went to pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting a sign. ‘Why the new sign?’ I asked.

“My boyfriend didn’t approve of the old one,” she said. When I glanced at what hung above thecounter, I understood. It declared:

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FOR ADVERTISING, CALL MICHELLE AT (815)751-1286

ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESCHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE... WWW.ORANGEPEELGAZETTEKANECO.COM • PAGE 2

Dear Neighbor:I have great news for your wallet if your furnace is over 12years old. Allow me to explain...Every year, the months ofJanuary, February, & March can be slow for my business. Iemploy great people and want to keep them working duringthese long, slow months. That is why I’ve come up with aWin Win Situation for both of us.

Every year, the big manufacturers of furnaces & air conditioners guess how many to build to meet the demand.Of course, they’re never exactly right. So, they always havesome inventory that they must hold over until the next summer season. I went to one of these companies andcontracted for the purchase of twenty-two Deluxe furnacesand air conditioners in the four most popular sizes used inKane County. And, because of the quantity and time ofyear, I was able to buy them at drastically reduced prices.

They are brand-new Deluxe Models. They are NOT the seconds or “blems” or standard “builder” models. They arefactory-fresh furnaces and air conditioners and have a full10-year factory warranty.

How To Get A Furnace For PeanutsIf you are interested in a new heating/cooling system (butonly if one of the four sizes I have will fit your house, ofcourse), I am “giving” you the furnace and all I ask for is the $941 in labor & material costs for instalation.

Perfect Fit For Your HomeI will come out and measure your home (and determinethe availability of the proper size). Don’t forget, I only have

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Warmly,

22 matched Deluxe Systems in four sizes. When they aregone, this remarkable offer ends also. Just call 630-262-8484.

Absolutely No ObligationAfter I completely explain the installation, there is absolutelyno obligation. If you decide you don’t want to take advantage of the spectacular savings... That’s OK.

You Can Buy With NO Cash*You don’t even have to pay me right away. I have set up a terrific 0%* payment plan.

Fuel Efficiency Guarantee**I’m so confident that you will save at least 25% on your heating and cooling bills (I’m projecting more like 30%), that I will pay you the difference for a year if you don’t! I’llshow you exactly how this works. If these heating and air conditioning systems were not among the best on themarket, I couldn’t afford to make such a promise.

Why This Offer Can’t LastI only have a few of each of the four sizes. When all of the airconditioners are sold and all the furnaces are “given” away,that’s it. There are no more at this price. Call Bree now at(630)262-8484 to set up an appointment for your no-obligation survey.

Warmly,

ATTENTION: Kane County Homeowners, we are doing it again this year!Great opportunity with only 22 units available in 2019Quality, American Made HVAC Systems:SERVICE NOW HEATING Helping 22 Homeowners by “Giving Away”

Furnaces for $941.With Off-Season Air ConditioningIf you qualify, local utilities may offer up to $550 in rebates towards your new system.

ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESGREAT RATES - GREAT RESULTS - CALL TODAY! (815)751-1286 • PAGE 3

TELL OUR ADVERTISERS, “I SAW YOU IN THE ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE.”

Starship Travel is excited and proud to be hosting our 4th Annual

TRAVEL SHOWIn celebration of opening our 2nd location in South Elgin

Sunday, March 10, 2019 11am - 2pm

Elgin Country Club 2575 Weld Road • Elgin, IL 60124

OPEN TO THE PUBLICComplimentary Valet parking for all of our guests.

“Best Travel Show” award by MAST, 2 years in a row & hope to receive this honor again for our upcoming show.

Please RSVP Linda Schreiber at 847-394-1155 x 104 or email [email protected].

Priz_s G[lor_!

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Pamper yourselfor someone special with a new look!

Basic Training I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan,

and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for

the trek. An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs,

we wondered if the end would ever come. "Men," oursergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've alreadycovered four miles!"

Revitalized, we picked up the pace. "And," he continued, "we should reach the starting point anyminute now."

What did the pickle say to hisValentine?

“You mean a great dill to me!”

Broken Ribs Scene: Patient laying on a gurney with the doctor

standing next to him holding up an x-ray. Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad

news first? Patient: Give me the bad news I guess. Doctor: The bad news is your x-ray shows that you

have three broken ribs. The good news is we fixed itwith Photoshop.

Bumpers Most people hate to parallel park. The other day, I

saw this woman trying to get out of a tight parkingspace. She bumped the car in front, then backed up andhit the car behind her. This went on about two minutes.

I walked over to see if I could somehow help. Myoffer was declined. She said, "Why have bumpers ifyou're not going to use them once in a while?"

Bus Fare Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver,

"What is the fare to the train station?" "Sixty cents," said the driver. The man raced alongside the bus until the next stop

and then gasped, "What is the fare now?" "Ninety cents," said the driver. "You're running the

wrong way."

Fishing A wife returning from a fishing trip with her

husband was telling her troubles to a neighbor. "I did everything all wrong again today," she said.

"I talked too loud, I used the wrong bait, I reeled in too soon, and I caught more fish than he did."

Want to appear in the next issue of the

ORANGE PEEL GAZETTECall Today! (815)751-1286

ORANGE PEEL GAZETTE - KANE & NORTHERN KENDALL COUNTIESLike us on Facebook for past issues & more fun stories...OrangePeelGazetteKaneCo • PAGE 4


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i before eExcept when your foreign

neighbor Keith received eight counterfeit beigh sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.

Weird.

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Just Being Polite One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for

dinner. As soon as the waiter brought out two steaks,Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you goingto learn to be polite?"

Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which onewould you pick?"

Tom: "The smaller piece, of course." Bill: "What are you complaining about? The

smaller piece is what you got, right?"

Caddy Advice Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three,

a confident golfer said to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."

The caddy argued with him a bit and suggestedthat he instead play it safe and hit a four-iron then awedge. The golfer was insulted and proceeded toscream and yell at the caddy on the tee telling himthat he was a better golfer than that and how dare thecaddy under estimate his game.

So, giving in, the caddy handed the gentleman thefour-wood he had asked for. He proceeded to top theball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards offthe front of the tee.

Immediately the caddy handed him his putter andsaid, "And now for one long putt..."



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CD Player I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely

perplexed by one model's promotional sign. So Icalled the salesclerk over and asked, "What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?"

He said, "That means that this machine will readthe digital information that is encoded on CDs andconvert it into an audio signal."

"In other words," I said, "this CD player playsCDs."

"Exactly."

Fast Bugs Heading down the interstate, our car passed

through a huge swarm of gnats so dense that theirbodies made popping noises as they hit the wind-shield. "I can't get over how loud they are," my wifesaid.

"Well, we are hitting them at 65 miles an hour," Ipointed out.

Her reply left me speechless. "There's no way bugscan fly that fast!"

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Caught Stealing A shoplifter was caught red-handed

trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," saidthe shoplifter, "I know you don't wantany trouble either. What do you say Ijust buy the watch, and we forgetabout this?"

The manager agreed and wrote upthe sales slip. The crook looked at theslip and said, "This is a little more thanI intended to spend. Can you show mesomething less expensive?"

Check Your Bill A corporate executive received a

monthly bill from the law firm thatwas handling a big case for his company. It included hourly billing forconferences, research, phone calls, fax,photocopying, and everything butlunch hours.

Unhappy as he was, the executiveknew that the company would have topay for each of these services.

Then he noticed one item buried inthe middle of the list:

"For crossing the street to talk toyou, then discovering it wasn't you atall - $125."



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Clean BathroomConstant nagging didn't seem to provide any relief

from having to clean up the bathroom after each of mythree teenage children. After I cleaned it one day, I resorted to posting a sign that read: "Please leave thebathroom as you found it."

I noticed the bathroom was in the usual mess aftermy son used it, so I called, "Brian, how did you findthe bathroom?"

After a brief pause, he replied, "Straight down thehall, first door on the right."

Cleaning Day Saturday had always been "cleaning day" in at our

house, and my mother still adhered to the ritual evenafter all her children had left the nest. When I stoppedby to visit her one Saturday, I was surprised to find herrelaxing in a favorite chair.

"Aren't you feeling well?" I asked. "I feel fine." "But you're not cleaning." "After all these years I've finally figured out how to

get it done in half the time," Mom told me. "I simplytake off my glasses."

The Dollar Rachel asked her mother for a dollar to give to a lit-

tle old lady in the park. Kathy, impressed by her daughters's kindness, gave

her the dollar. "There you are Rachel," said Kathy."But, tell me, isn't the little old lady able to work anymore?"

"Oh she works!" was Rachel's reply, "She sellscandy!"


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Bonus Question: How old was the youngest president to take office? A-38, B-40, C-42, D-45

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Croutons To make ends meet, I wait tables at a popular

restaurant on weekends. After ordering the lunch special, one couple requested extra croutons on theirsalads, so I complied.

But returning to the table to refill their coffee cups,I noticed they had set all the croutons aside. Thinking I had misunderstood their request, I apologized for giving them so many.

"There's been no mistake, we did ask for extra," the man replied. "They're a favorite of our goats."

What did the light bulb say to his Valentine?

“I wuv you watts and watts!”

Cuisine Stationed with the Army near Tokyo, I taught a

conversational English class to a group of Japanesebusinessmen.

Wishing to acquaint me with their cuisine, my classtook me to dinner at a local restaurant. I've never enjoyed seafood, and my hosts noticed my lack of enthusiasm when the odd assortment of raw andcooked fish was served.

Intent on saving the evening, one man asked if I'dlike a pizza. I accepted with delight.

Soon a smiling waitress came to our table andplaced before me a large, hot pizza - piled high withsquid.

Counting in Church Recently while we were eating lunch after church

one Sunday, my youngest son asked me what the highest number I had ever counted up to was.

I told him I didn't know. Then I asked him how highhe has counted.

"5,372," came the prompt reply. "Oh," I said. "Why did you stop there?" "The sermon was over."



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MUFFLErS ▪ SHOCKS ▪ STrUTS ▪ TIrES

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Cold Air One afternoon, while touring the Canyonlands of

southern Utah, my husband and I pulled into the onlyhotel in a small town. While signing the register, weasked the young woman behind the desk if our roomwas air-conditioned.

When she shook her head no, we hesitated, wondering if we should push on to the next town.

Sensing our doubt, she brightened as she came upwith a solution. "Just turn on the heater," she suggested. "Our customers tell us all that comes out iscold air anyway."

Crocodile TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?" JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how

I spell it!

Curiosity Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask

questions ... lots of questions. Finally, one day, mywife had it.

"Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?"my wife asked.

"No," replied Terra. "Well, there was a cat, and he was very inquisitive.

And one day, he looked into a big hole, fell in, anddied!"

Wide-eyed, Terra whispered: "What was in thehole?"



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Cute Baby When we brought our new-born son to the

pediatrician for his first checkup, the doctor said, "You have a cute baby."

Smiling, I said, "I'll bet you say that to all the newparents."

"No," he replied, "just to those whose babies are really good-looking."

"So what do you say to the others?" I asked. "He looks just like you."

Checking Out I was checking out at a busy supermarket and the

cashier was having problems. The register ran out ofpaper, the scanner malfunctioned, and then the cashierspilled a handful of coins.

When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22.Trying to soothe her nerves, I said, "That's a nice round figure."

Still frazzled, she glared at me and said, "You're no bean pole yourself!"

Clarity A "Life and Career" coach met with a prospective

client one morning and asked the client what hewanted to get out of their sessions.

"Clarity," the client said very firmly. "And on what issues are you looking for clarity?"

the coach asked. "Well," he said in a less confident tone, "I'm not

sure."

40th Birthday On her 40th birthday a wife waltzed out of the

bedroom dressed in an old outfit that she dug out of theback of the closet.

"I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess thatmeans my wardrobe is ten years old," she said to herhusband, hoping he'd take the hint and buy her somenew clothes as a present.

"Or," he offered instead, "it means when you were30 you had the body of a 40-year-old."

(He is expected to be discharged from the hospitalnext week but he will always walk with a limp).

1-800-TEC-CITY1-800-TEC-CITY

• Automotive - Import & Domestic• Heavy Duty Industrial• Agricultural Equipment• Construction Equipment• High Amp Alternators• Hot-Rods & Classic Cars• Recreational Vehicles• Lawn Equipment• Motorcycles • Snow Plows• Race Cars

M.A.R.S, Inc.Starters • Alternators • Generators

www.MarsStarters.com

Call For Business to Business

Pickup & Delivery

Don’t have time to wait? We offer 100% NEW units!

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1-800-832-2489 • 815-756-9019

Matt Gavin16119 Chicago Road Sandwich, IL 60548

Phone (815) 786-2242Cel (815) 405-9988Fax (815) 786-2296

Gavin Woodworking, Inc.Furniture Refinishing - Repairing

Special Wood Products - Chair CaningGeneral Machining - General Painting

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Of course they do. They’re very scent-imental!

.Fitness

I was walking to lunch with my friend Tristan anddiscussing the need to start an exercise program. A mutual friend, Chris, joined us on the walk and afterlistening to Tristan and I talk about fitness, Chris said,"I'm exercising every day."

"You're exercising?" we asked. "Daily?" "Yeah!" he replied. "I swim after work on

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. And I run on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

We stopped walking, and I asked Chris, "How longhave you been doing this?"

"Oh, I don't start until next week!" he replied.

Dog Bowl A woman went to the counter to purchase a

drinking bowl for her dog. The clerk asked, "Would you like it inscribed

'For The Dog'?" "It doesn't really matter," she replied. "My

husband doesn't drink water from a bowl and the dogcan't read."



Welcome Home provides people who have moved with useful community information and FREE gifts from localmerchants: all to help you become familiar with the area.

Call or Text For a Visit -Batavia • North Aurora • Batavia/Mill Creek

Jennifer zack • 630-229-2001

Moved Recently?We would enjoy meeting you!

- www.welcomehomebatavia.com -

CURTISTOWING INC.

WE PAY CASH

ON THE SPOT!

7 DAYS A WEEK

24 Hrs 24 Hrs

WE BUY JUNK CARS WE BUY JUNK CARS FOR CASHFOR CASH

Any Condition • Running or Not • No Title - No ProblemAny Condition • Running or Not • No Title - No ProblemWe Come to You • Free Towing • Same Day Pick-upWe Come to You • Free Towing • Same Day Pick-up

(630)817-3577(630)817-3577

CCUURRTTIISS

Naperville www.CurtisTowingAndSalvage.com Aurora

35 Unique ShopsUnder One RoofHOURS: Tues - Sat 10-5Thurs 10-8, Sunday 11-5

701 N. State St. (Rt 31) Elgin, IL 60123

1 mile S. of I-90 (847)695-3066www.StateStreetMarketShops.com

Enjoy the day at theLARGEST

GIFT & ANTIQUEShop in The Fox Valley

Family Restaurant

With a minimumpurchase of $10(before taxes) receive

$1 OFF* $10 order$2 OFF* $20 order$5 OFF* $35 order$10 OFF* $50 order

*Not to be used with any other offer.

(630)892-11001700 S. Douglas Rd

Montgomery

Now Open...

VIDEO GAMING ROOM

Come Play at Grandma’s

www.ChicagoInstrumentExchange.com

24 yearsin business

W_ S_ll R_fur\ish_^ B[n^ Instrum_ntsB[n^ Instrum_nts

Buy • S_ll • Tr[^_Exp_]t @ffor^[\l_ Pri]_s on qu[lity Instrum_nts

in]lu^ing Trump_ts, Trom\on_s, Cl[rin_ts [n^ Flut_s.

17 North River St • Batavia, IL

(630)879-2815 Instrum_ntEx]h[ng_

500 B[n^ Instrum_nts For S[l_• Emerson Flute $100 • Armstrong Flute $200• Bundy Flute $200• Gemeinhardt Flute $200

• King Trombone $125• Jupiter Trigger Trombone $950• Bach Strad Trigger Trombone $999

• Buffet Clarinet B-12 $275• Artley Clarinet $150• Artley Wood Clarinet $395• Bessen Trumpet $275

• King Cornet $120• Bundy Cornet $175

• Bundy Piccolo (like new) $425

• Conn Alto Saxophone $350• Bundy Alto Saxophone $399• Vito Alto Saxophone $425• La Sax Tenor $850• Jupiter Euphonium $850• Bell Kit $100


Hetts Auto SalesLooking for a quality used

vehicle? All our vehicles aresafety inspected, have a

carfax report and many arepriced in the

$3000 - $9000 range. View our inventory at

www.hettsautosales.comHetts Auto Sales is located

in downtown Oswego by theR/R tracks, “Our mission is

to give you a pleasurablebuying experience” and

remember owner, Ed and son, Matt are your friends

in the car business.Hetts Auto Sales

69 W. Washington St. (Rt 34)Oswego, IL 60543

630-554-9339www.hettsautosales.com

CASH PAIDWWII, WWI

Military uniforms,photos, weapons, medals,patches, helmets, posters,

souvenirs, & older firearms.630-215-3664

Garage Doors by CurtSales and Service

We Sell CHI DoorsLift Master Openers

(630)276-3453

BUYING

AUTOMOTIVE

The Right GuyCarpet Cleaning, Inc

Certified Cleaning for CarpetTile/Grout, Area Rugs,

Upholstery, RV’sResidential/Business/Rentals

www.TRGCarpetCleaning.comFor Reviews & Pics • 19yrs Exp.630-264-4369 Free Estimates

CARPET CLEANING GARAGE DOORS

EGGS FOR SALE

AL’S ELECTRIC(Semi Retired, but not Tired)

Licensed • 45 yrs ExpJust Call Al (630)514-6569

ELECTRICAL

Ed & Judie’s Chicken &Duck Egg Farm: Self Service

6S260 Hankes RdAurora (630)907-0775

$125 Mixed Face Cord$150 Oak Face Cord

Free Delivery/Stacked630-907-0775 Ed

FIREWOOD

ASPHALTDRIVEWAY REPAIR

INSTALL & PATCHINGASPHALT SEAL

COATING & STRIPINGANDEL SERVICES, INC

Hand Applied Se Habla Español

Office: 630 566 0210Cell: 630 675 7102


HANDYMAN-NAILS-ITHome Improve/Rpr/Maint

handyman-nails-it.com(630) 360-3039

HELP WANTED

Glass Repair & ReplacementBroken window/door Repair

224-228-1000Classic Glass and Glazing

GLASS REPAIR

2 plots available at Mount Auburn Memorial

Park • Stickney, IL630-892-3395

CEMETERY LOTS

Are You Ready 2019?Travel Career/Wrk Hm FT/PTPerks>Travel & Expenses

Earn As You Learn:888-648-3030

Gary’s Painting & Handyman (630)409-6002$25/hour local

$27/hour long distance

HANDYMAN2 plots available at RiverValley Memorial Gardens

Rte 31, Dundee, IL 630-272-7089

HOME TYPISTS NEEDEDTyping court transcripts

from recorded audio. Must have good typing

and listening skills.35 pgs./day min., paid/pageMSWord/WP, no data entry

SEND RESUME TO:LeGrand Court Reporting

Fax: (630) [email protected]

HOUSE CLEANINGVeronica & Audelia’s

House Cleaning Services630-506-2895630-935-5287

INDUSTRIALSPACE FOR RENT

Batavia, Sugar Grove, St. Charles & Woodridge office & warehouse space for lease, from 1,500sq ft to 12,000sq ft. For info Call Don 630-330-7637or Sarah 630-318-2341

Home Daycare • Elgin 25 yrs Exp • 7a - 6p M-FInfant - PreK • $170/WkJennifer 224-535-8554

HOME DAYCARE

INVESTING

BORING LIFE???Do you want to make your

life more interesting?Learn to invest in Real

Estate and have the freedomand time you Deserve!Text “interesting” to:

630-675-7102 along withyour name and e-mail.

Get your business noticed! List your

Specials here. Call 815-751-1286

Warehouse or Garage spaceavailable for rent 21’ x 35’

Call Joe 630-201-4772

WANTED

RON’S QUALITY PAINTINGInterior - Exterior

Affordable & CleanOver 25 years experienceFree Estimates - Insured

(847)489-9907

Band Instruments: Cellos Open Hole Flutes, Trumpets

Double French Horns, Saxophones (847)951-7098

Lanza Masonry Inc.Brick, Stone, Blocks

Tuck Pointing847-833-3384

MASONRY

AGUAS REMODELINGAll Kinds of Repairs;

Electrical - WallsBathrooms - Kitchens

PaintingHabla Espanol

(847)809-1102 Jesus

J & L BUILDERSHandyman ServiceBasement Finishing

Kitchen & Bath RemodelingYour Complete Remodeling

Service. Free Estimates(630)334-1322

J-LBUILDERS/facebook

Sleeping Room $90/weeklyClean/Quiet, Non-smoking

Refrigerator accessAurora 630-247-1031

Two Men and A TrailerSmall to Medium Moves

TVs, Dressers, Beds, CouchesReasonable Rates

630-918-5554 Big Ken

MOVING

Trees are dormant in Winter,BUT Arbor Joe is NOT!

Call ISA Certified ArboristJoe (224) 789 - 8773. www.ArborJoe.com

Above & Beyond Paintingby Stuart; Interior - ExteriorPainting and Remodeling;

Professional Insured Clean;Over 35 years experience;No job too big or small....

Call today for free estimate;Mary 331-251-5766 or

Brian 630-709-8470Look for us on Facebook andtwitter @Above & Beyond

Painting by Stuart

PAINTING

Wiltse’s Landscaping &Lawn Care

Lawns, cleanups & mulchingfertilizing & weed control,

pruning, plantingresidential & commercial

hardscapes - (815) 508-7502


Bill’s Custom ServicesInterior/Exterior

Painting & Drywall Etc.Wallpaper hanging/removalOver 20 Years Experience

Free Estimates/Insured Now Offering Carpet Cleaning

(815)482-4155

OFFICE SERVICESSuperb Office Services

• Computer Classes• Quick Computer Repairs• Desktop Publishing/Flyers• Print Restaurant Menus• Church Booklets Printing• Custom T Shirt Printing/

Design for any OccasionElgin (847) 741-1007

Baker’s Window CleaningResidential/Commercial

(630)854-7716(630)859-7716

TREE SERVICES &BOOM TRUCK SERVICES

ANDEL SERVICES, INCTree Cutting, Trimming,

Stump Grinding, Chipping,Haul Away

Call the office or text my cell for estimate

Se Habla EspañolOffice: 630 566 0210Cell: 630 675 7102

TREE SERVICE

WINDOW CLEANING

REMODELING

PAINTING

LAWN CARE SPECIALAerate $35 (48”Gate)

Fertilizer $59 (0-10,000)Overseed Free with A & F

Beautiful Lawn & Tree Care630-585-0221

LAWN CARE

ROOM FOR RENT

Sleeping Room Availablefor Female; $125 weekly

Clean & quiet near bike trail331-250-6311

Next Issue Ad DeadlineFebruary 20 February 8

To appear in the next issue of the ORANGE PEEL GAZETTEcontact Michelle at (815)751-1286

Information gathered herein is from sources considered reliable. Accuracy however cannot be guaranteed. All humorous stories and

jokes appearing here are intended for entertainment purposes only andare not meant to disrespect or harm any group or individuals. Ads appearing in this paper are not to considered as an endorsement or validation by Orange Peel Gazette for products or services offered.

Helpful Mechanic Taking my car to the mechanic, I was fearful

that any needed repair might be too expensive. I was relieved when he told me all I needed wasblinker fluid.


LOOK FOR OUR NEXT ISSUE ON FEBRUARY 20, 2019

Winter Is Here!Be Ready . . .

Winter Is Here!Service Now Electrical

Expires 2/28/19

IL Lic. 058-111840

630-262-8484

Expires 2/28/19 Expires 2/28/19 Expires 2/28/19

Install One of Our New

HIGH EFFICIENCYHeating or A/C Systems in your home

Major brand names come with a 10-year manufacturer warranty

Starting at

$1595*per week

Favorite Candy Our phone rang late one night, and my wife

Nancy picked it up. She said, "KitKat," and hung up. "Who was that?" "Some boy for Carolyn," she said, referring to our

daughter. "What now?" I asked. "He plans to ask Carolyn to the prom and wanted

to know what her favorite candy is. He's going to putthe invitation into a candy basket."

The next morning a basket of candy was on ourporch.

"But, Mom," our daughter protested when sheheard the story, "KitKat isn't my favorite candy."

"I know," Nancy said. "It's mine."

AADDVVAANNCCEEDD HHOOMMEERREENNOOVVAATTIIOONNGENERAL CONTRACTOR

advancedhomerenovations77@yahoo.comwww.advancedwindowsroofing.com

ROOFING & WINDOWSSIDING & GUTTERS

SSppee ccii aa ll ii zz iinngg iinn HHaa ii ll aanndd WWiinndd DDaammaaggee

Free professional inspection of your home with no obligation! Give Gabriel a call today!

881155--995555--99330022

Residential and Commercial


ANTIQUE - CLASSIC - SPECIAL INTEREST AUTOS

reasonable rates

Old Coach Works Restoration

Whether it’s a reliable driver or a Concours Grand Champion

Complete Restoration ServiceSeasonal Maintenance and Repairs

Body Repair-Painting-Electrical Repairs1206 Badger St ▪ Yorkville, IL

(630)553-0414 www.oldcoachworks.com

& k c

Documents