1 copyright dr. edward farber, 2013. 2 roles of mental health professionals in visitation/custody...

1Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

2Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Roles of Mental Health Professionals in

Visitation/CustodyCustody Evaluation

Independent Medical Examination

Psychological Evaluation

Expert Witness

3Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Roles of Mental Health Professionals (cont.)

Consultant to Legal Team

Parent Coordination

Reconciliation Therapist

Family Therapist

Individual Therapist

4Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

“My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend, and all I got was a new therapist.”

5Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Custodial Decisions

Legal Custody

Physical Custody

6Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

“I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they’re free-

range.”7

Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

The New Norm: Co-Parenting after the

Contentious Divorce

80-85% of divorces are not contentious

Cost of contentious divorce can easily exceed $100,000 each

8Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

“I’m glad you got divorced…it eliminates the middleman.”

9Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Impact Separation/Divorce on Children

Short-term

Long-term

10Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

“I’m staying together for the sake of my parents.”11

Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Critical Factors that Determine Outcome for

Children

Relationship with both parents

Conflict reduction post-separation

Parents still act like parents

12Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

What Parents Typically Fight About

13Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Divorce is Ultimately about Control of Assets

Money

Children

Money and Children

14Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Specific Issues around Raising the Kid You Love

with the Ex You Hate

15Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

How to tell your Child that you are Separating

The first act of co-parenting

Honesty and breaking of trust

When and how to tell

How much of the agreement to share

Your child’s self blame

16Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Clear Rules about Funding and Co-Parenting

Separate the “business” of parenting from the business of “parenting”

17Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Handling the Holidays and Soccer Games

What the agreement won’t say about extra-curriculars

What should happen on holidays

Managing the field

18Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

School IssuesMaintain stability

Ideal if both parents are in the same school district

Home school, private school, same school, new school

19Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Introducing New People into the Child’s Life

The second divorce

When should they meet

How to introduce

20Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

“Dad, if mom ever has a boyfriend, I hope he’s just like you.”21

Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013

Technology Can Help – Or it Can Hurt

Phone calls

Skype

Facetime

Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 201322

Hell No – I Won’t Go: The Child Refuses Visitation

She’s Moving Out and In With Him

Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 201323

In the End

Good parenting even when parents disagree

24Copyright Dr. Edward Farber, 2013