1 finding common ground strategies for improved communications

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Finding Common GroundStrategies for Improved Communications

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Purpose of Training

• Re-engineering = Change

• Change = Potential Conflict

• Conflict = Opportunities if Resolved Positively and Collaboratively

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Agenda

•3.5 hours, 1 break•Lots of interactivity•No lecture•Some fun

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Icebreaker

• Your Name

• Your Job

• Which animal best represents your approach to conflict?

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Self Assessment

•No Names

•Not Graded

•Complete again at the end of class

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1 20

2 Minutes

Complete Self Assessment

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• Recognize the major causes of conflict and it can present positive opportunities

• Respond to conflict by respecting the person• Resolve conflict by addressing the problem• Use Reflection to learn from conflict

Objectives

By the end of this course, you will be able to:

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Reflect

The 4 Rs

Resolve

RespondWith Respect

Recognize

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Reflect

Recognize

Resolve

RespondWith Respect

Recognize

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Definition of ConflictThe differences that arise between people that

cause them concern.• Conflict is an inevitable and normal part of life

• All parties may not be aware that there is a conflict

• We may have internal conflicts – we are “of two minds” about something

• Conflict is between two or more people and may be about one or more issues or problems

• Conflicts aren’t necessarily negative, but present opportunities to solve problems collaboratively

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BrainstormThe issue or conflictThe people involved What each party wants

Common Workplace Conflicts

10 minutes to list 2 issues

Use Worksheets & flipcharts

2 minutes to describe to the entire group

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BrainstormThe issue or conflictThe people involved What each party wants

Common Workplace Conflicts

10 Minutes5 100

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Group Presentations• Present the issue or conflict

• Identify the parties involved

• Describe what each party wants

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The issue or conflictThe people involved What each party wants

Personal Issue or Conflict

50

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Common Causes of Conflict

FactsValues

GoalsMethods

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Common Causes

Facts• People receive new information at different times.• Everyone might not receive the new information.• People might interpret things differently.

Sharing information or getting reliable information usually can resolve conflicts over facts.

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Common Causes

Methods• People often differ over the best way to do something.• Supervisors may have different ways of rewarding or disciplining

employees.• Managers may have different opinions about how to keep their

staff up to date on current information.

Conflict over methods can usually be resolved by the airing of differences and collaboration—working together to come to an agreement on methods.

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Common Causes

• Viewing a job as an opportunity/living/chore until retirement.• A Manager’s goal might be to achieve maximum efficiency while

a supervisor might be more interested in the personal needs of team.

• A flight passenger’s goal is to get to their flight on time, while the goal of the security screener is to make sure flight security is maintained.

Disagreement over goals can usually be resolved by problem solving and finding common ground.

Goals

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Values• One person might see working part time as an opportunity to

spend more time with his/her family while another might view it as a loss of income.

• One person might have been brought up to respect everyone and another might have been brought up to expect other people to earn respect

• Our cultural and religious background influences how we behave.

We must acknowledge our differences, respect each other's position, recognizing that long-held beliefs and values will not change.

Common Causes

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Common Causes Exercise

• 5 Minutes• Use first letters to identify

the possible causes• More than 1 cause is possible

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FactsValues

Goals Methods

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Reflect

Review

Resolve

RespondWith Respect

Recognize

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Reflect

Respond

Resolve

RespondWith Respect

Recognize

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Responses to Conflict• Avoid

• Complain

• Take it Home

• Blame Others

• Lump it

• Give in

• Get Angry

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Chinese Symbol for Conflict

“Risk”

“Opportunity”

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Risk and Opportunity Scenarios

2 4 60

6 Minutes

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Risk and Opportunity

Risk Opportunity

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Effective Communication

Active Listening

Effective Speaking

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Responding Exercise – Part 1

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Responding Exercise – Part 1

1 20

2 Minutes

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Responding with Respect

Validate – acknowledge understanding and the feelings of other person.

Ask – use open-ended questions to demonstrate you heard.

Listen – paraphrase to demonstrate understanding.

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Active Listening Skills• Listen with respect – give the other person time to

talk

• Don’t challenge or interrupt

• Check for understanding

• Don’t problem-solve

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Responding Exercise – Part 2

1 20

2 Minutes

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Two Parts of Communication

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Words –

Tone of voice –

Body language –

How and What we Communicate

Source: Mehrabian, Albert (1981) Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

7 %

38 %

55%

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8 Ways to ask a Question

Did I say you had an attitude problem?

I sayyo

uattitude

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Respond with Respect - Summary

Conflict can be risk and opportunity

Communication is Key•Validate•Ask Questions•Listen

How we say something is asimportant as what we say!

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Break

5 100

10 Minutes

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Reflect

Resolve

Resolve

RespondWith Respect

Recognize

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The Vacation Dilemma

Beach Mountains

Near by SocializingFoodSwimmingFresh AirSunShopping

QuietFoodHikingStarsNear byBoating Wildlife

Positions - What

Interests - Why

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Uncovering Interests

Interests

Interests

Security

Well-being

Belonging

Self-esteem

Dignity

Respect

Interests

Interests

Interests

Positions - What

Interests - Why

• A stand or demand• What someone wants

• Why a person wants something or wants something done in a particular way• Their fears, hopes, wants, needs

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Position/Interests Scenarios in Book

Use the Uncovering Interests Worksheet:• Identify Issue or Problem• Identify Positions• Uncover Interests

5 100

10 Minutes

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Position/Interests Conflicts at Work

5 100

10 Minutes

Use the Uncovering Interests Worksheet:• Identify Issue or Problem• Identify Positions• Uncover Interests

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Exploring Options

Ideas for Brainstorming • Collect as many ideas as possible from all

participants• All ideas are welcome• Be creative• Do not criticize or judge; don't groan, frown, or

laugh• All ideas are equally valid at this point. • Build on other peoples' ideas.

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Exploring Options – 5 minutes5

0

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Decide on a “SMART” Agreement

Specific

Mutually acceptable

Appropriate

Realistic

Time-based

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Reflect

Review

Resolve

RespondWith Respect

Recognize

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Reflect

Reflect

Resolve

RespondWith Respect

Recognize

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The VALUED Approach

Validate

Ask, and

Listen to

Uncover Interests

Explore Options and

Decide on an Agreement

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Learning from Conflict Exercise• Refer to the personal issue identified at

the beginning

• Use the Finding Common Ground Worksheet

• Voluntary sharing

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5 Minutes

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Summary• A definition of conflict• Common causes of conflict • Elements of Communication • Guidelines for Responding with Respect • Interests v. Positions • “SMART” Agreements • 4Rs • A “VALUED” Approach

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Self Assessment

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Congratulations!