9/13/20151 how a righteous life makes for a better marriage a study of the sermon on the mount

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How a Righteous Life Makes How a Righteous Life Makes for a Better Marriagefor a Better Marriage

A Study of the Sermon on the A Study of the Sermon on the Mount.Mount.

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Applying the Sermon on the Mount Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage.to Marriage.

• Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority.

• Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone.• Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We

Part.• Communicate With Transparency And

Honesty.• Be More Concerned About Generosity Then

Equality.

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Matthew 5:38-42—“You have heard that it was Matthew 5:38-42—“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’

39“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. 39“But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, But whoever slaps you on your right cheek,

turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him to sue you and take away your tunic, let him

have have youryour cloak also. 41“And whoever compels cloak also. 41“And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to him who asks you, and from him who wants to

borrow from you do not turn awayborrow from you do not turn away..

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Purpose of the Law:Purpose of the Law:

• It held a man responsible for what he did.

• It up held a plaintiff’s right to compensation and justice.

• It took vengeance out of the hands of a plaintiff and placed it in the hands of civil authorities.

• It mandated that the punishment fit the crime.

““Eye for eye, tooth for tooth”Eye for eye, tooth for tooth”

• The Pharisees Perversion of the Law: A Right of Personal Vengeance

• Principle Taught by Jesus: We should not resist evil with evil (Romans 12:17, 21)

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Instead of Retaliation Instead of Retaliation

• Endure Personal Insult

• Forgo Personal “Rights”

• Go the Extra Mile

• Don’t Withhold Benevolence

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Christians Are NOT Out to Even the Score

Applications to MarriageApplications to Marriage

• Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE – Do we insist on our rights? (1 Cor. 9:4-5) – Do my rights outweigh my mate’s needs?– I cannot control my mates’ actions, but I’m

responsible to God for my actions and character (Ref. Eph. 5:28-29; 1 Pet. 3:7; 1 Pet. 3:1-2; Eph. 5:33)

– Do we focus on giving or receiving?

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Applications to MarriageApplications to Marriage

• Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE

• Grace based marriages are focused on FORGIVENESS not SCOREKEEPING– Scorekeeping keeps tabs on the smallest

infractions – Scorekeeping results in bitterness

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Applications to MarriageApplications to Marriage

• Marriages based on GRACE and NOT JUSTICE

• Grace based marriages are focused on FORGIVENESS not SCOREKEEPING

• GRACE = FORGIVENESS

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Three Reasons to ForgiveThree Reasons to Forgive

• Relationship with God

• Relationship with My Mate

• Seeing the Results of Forgiveness in Marriage

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Applying the Sermon on the Mount Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage.to Marriage.

• Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority.

• Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone.• Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We

Part.• Communicate With Transparency And

Honesty.• Be More Concerned About Generosity Then

Equality.• Show Love When The Other Person Is Least

Deserving Of It.

Love (agape) Love (agape)

• More than a feeling

• Seeks the highest good

• Is active

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If we can love our enemies when they don’t deserve it, then we can

love our mates when they are “undeserving” of it.

““You Shall Be Perfect, Just As You Shall Be Perfect, Just As Your Father in Heaven Is Your Father in Heaven Is

Perfect” Perfect” • God loves us based upon who He is

(Ref. Rom. 5:8)

• We love others based upon who we are

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Applying the Sermon on the Mount Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage.to Marriage.

• Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority.

• Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone.• Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We

Part.• Communicate With Transparency And

Honesty.• Be More Concerned About Generosity Then

Equality.• Show Love When The Other Person Is Least

Deserving Of It.

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The Sermon on the Mount:The Sermon on the Mount:

• Matthew 5:21-48—Jesus condemned the Pharisees and scribes teaching.

• Matthew 6:1-18—Jesus condemned the Pharisees and scribes practices.

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The Pharisees Manifest Pride and The Pharisees Manifest Pride and Hypocrisy ThroughHypocrisy Through

• Their giving of alms to be seen by men. (vv.1-4)

• Their prayer life. (vv.6-15)

• Their practices when fasting. (vv.16-18)

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Matthew 6:1-34 Threats Against Matthew 6:1-34 Threats Against True RighteousnessTrue Righteousness

• Matthew 6:1-18—Hypocritical Behavior.

• Matthew 6:19-34—Materialism.

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Applying the Sermon on the Mount Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage.to Marriage.

• Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority.

• Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone.• Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part.• Communicate With Transparency And Honesty.• Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality.• Show Love When The Other Person Is Least

Deserving Of It.• Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism.

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Applying the Sermon on the Mount Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage.to Marriage.

• Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority.

• Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone.• Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part.• Communicate With Transparency And Honesty.• Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality.• Show Love When The Other Person Is Least

Deserving Of It.• Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism.• Be Fair with Criticism.

Be Fair with CriticismBe Fair with Criticism

• Jesus is not forbidding all judging (John 7:24; Matt. 18:15-17; Matt. 7:15-20)

• Jesus is forbidding the “fault finding” spirit (Matt. 7:1-5)

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We would do will to apply this principle to our marriages

Double Standards?Double Standards?

• In child rearing?

• In money management?

• In maturity?

• In communication with in-laws?

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Marriages face enough serious issues without mates manufacturing a few more.

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PREP PREP (Prevention and Relationship (Prevention and Relationship

Enhancement Program.)Enhancement Program.)

• Escalation

• Invalidation

• Negative Interpretations

• Withdrawal And Avoidance

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Applying the Sermon on the Mount Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage.to Marriage.

• Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority.

• Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone.• Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part.• Communicate With Transparency And Honesty.• Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality.• Show Love When The Other Person Is Least

Deserving Of It.• Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism.• Be Fair with Criticism.• Pray for Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your Spouse.

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Applying the Sermon on the Mount Applying the Sermon on the Mount to Marriage.to Marriage.

• Do Not Let Anger Cause You To Be Abusive But Instead Make Reconciliation A Priority.

• Keep Your Desire For Your Spouse Alone.• Really Mean It When You Until Death Do We Part.• Communicate With Transparency And Honesty.• Be More Concerned About Generosity Then Equality.• Show Love When The Other Person Is Least

Deserving Of It.• Avoid the Pitfalls of Materialism.• Be Fair with Criticism.• Pray for Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your Spouse. • Observe the Golden Rule in Marriage.

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PREP PREP (Prevention and Relationship (Prevention and Relationship

Enhancement Program.)Enhancement Program.)

• Escalation

• Invalidation

• Negative Interpretations

• Withdrawal And Avoidance

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Conclusion:Conclusion:

• Matthew 7:13-14 speaks of two paths.

• Matthew 7:15-19 speaks of two kinds of fruit.

• Matthew 7:24-27 speaks of two types of foundations.